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Tommy stared at the quickly fading boat carrying his older brother, Wilbur Soot to Utah…
Tommy gave mirthless laughter at the thought of it as he wrapped his head around what had just transpired.
Utah…
He got left behind for fucking Utah.
His brother left him for fucking Utah.
After everything that Tommy did for the man? He was leaving him behind for some forgotten state in America? That was what Wilbur was leaving for him for? This was what’s happening? Right here? Right now? THIS?!?!!
Tommy shook his head with smile of disbelief and shock when he finally tore his eyes from the horizon; no sight of the man who had practically raised him when his father took the eldest out of the three brothers and fucked off to someplace he couldn’t care less about at this point in time. He shouldn’t have expected less from the man. He abandoned him once before, what’s one more time? He shouldn’t care about Wilbur anymore for all the shit he put him through!
So why was his chest hurting this much?
Tommy felt the stabs at the back of his eyes forcing liquid to the rim of his eyes at the question he asked himself. It was because it’s not fair.
He paused at the thought that shoved itself to fore front of his mind. Because that voice in his head was right. That voice that was their with him in Pogtopia, when his brother died for the first time leaving a blue loving amnesiac ghost in his place, when Tubbo had exiled him for his second time, when Dream would hurt him, when he and Techno betrayed each other, when Doomsday came, when he was striped of his final life in a small obsidian box like the final control room and left in in a void of black for three month three days only to be brought back to life as a fucked successful Frankenstein experiment.
Tommy always pushed it away, never giving it the time of day for it to resonate something within him to give the people of this server more reasons to hate and avoid him.
He started to laugh more at the fact that he was just now seeing the signs this late in his lifetime.
It’s not fair. Tommy thought as his laughter died down and the grin on his face faded into a scowl staring at empty horizon with a new found hatred.
Arms shaking in either anger or grief Tommy didn’t know nor did he care. Lips trembling trying to keep in sobs but failing to keep small whimpers in. Dull soul fire eyes now too full of salted tears to be able to stay within its cup and overflowed its capacity and now pouring down his cheeks is waterfalls. Liquid snot coming from his sinuses and he took deep breaths through them to keep the snot from coming out (a fruitless endeavor in the end).
He just wanted someone to stay. Why was it always so hard for people to stay with him? Why was he always second choice; the last priority; the unwanted one? What did he do to deserve this?
Tommy picked his head up from where it looks at the earth below him in disdain and his scowl from before returning in full as he heaved and took in quick short breaths.
He let his head drop to face the earth and saw his shaking fists in his tunnel vision, recounting all that Wilbur, his brother, the one who gave silver lined promises of freedom and glory, the one who raised him along side his nephew Fundy.
And felt all the anger that came with those memories.
“Fuck you…” Tommy muttered to no one and snapped his head back up with fire relighting his eyes in anger. He did what Tommy always did best he raged.
“Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you! FUCK you! FUCK You! FUCK YOU! FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!! YOUUU!!!!!!”
Tommy screams at the line leading to drop off of the world and finds himself now out of that fire he just newly owned, out like small flame meeting the end of a match and gone with not more wood to char and disfigure black and twisted. And finds tears still streaming out of his eyes, no longer caring Tommy unfolds his tightly packed fists and lets them
It’s not fair. His mind numbly supplied him with at his wits end. It’s not fair. His head kept repeating. It’s not fair. He started saying without a hold on his tongue. It’s not fair. He started to cry out. It’s not fair. He screamed to the heavens above. It’s not fair. He kept shouting, falling to his knees. It’s not fair. He whispered to himself as he curled into himself. It’s not fair. He cried to himself quietly; waiting for Lady Death to take him home to paradise.
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ITS NOT FAIR!
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…It’s not fair.