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Beatrice doesn't remember what happens. Everything is blurry after she puts Ava through the Arc. Lilith's words before she disappears are a mystery to Beatrice. A mystery she doesn't care to solve.
There is chaos on the streets. People yelling over each other. The police are trying to calm them down. Nobody is paying attention to Beatrice. Beatrice has nobody to pay attention to. Nobody who pokes her in her side, looks at her with an adorable smile, charming eyes and asks her to go on sightseeing. Not anymore.
Everything stays blurry for Beatrice. Until it isn't. Until she steps inside Jillian's place.
"Where is Michael?"
Beatrice stumbles back with a pair of arms wrapping around her. Since when has Beatrice become that used to Ava's hugs, others feel strange? How has that happened in only a couple of months?
Beatrice should be grateful that it's Camila. Her Sister is alive. Beatrice's eyes scan the room. Mother Superion is there. Yasmine. Dora is there too, a few other Sisters next to her. Beatrice should feel grateful. She can't.
Someone is missing. Someone who has turned everything upside down since entering Beatrice's life. Someone who has breathed life in Beatrice's life.
"Camila. Let her breathe," Mother Superion says.
"Sorry."
Camila steps back, looking at Beatrice expectantly. Like everyone else.
"Beatrice. Where is Ava?"
Beatrice suppresses the pain in her heart, swallowing hard. Holding back her tears and telling herself that Ava has done her duty.
"She did what she had to do. She defeated Adriel."
Beatrice is amazed that her voice isn't trembling. Her gaze finds Jillian.
"I am sorry about Michael."
As if her mind has kept it a secret in case of an emergency distraction, Beatrice remembers Lilith's words.
"There is a holy war coming. We need to prepare."
Beatrice not only leaves the room, but also leaves the others with questions in their heads.
______________
Beatrice takes a shower immediately. She thinks that using the hot water could be a way to distract her mind and her heart from the Warrior Nun.
Of course Ava Silva is that special, Beatrice has a memory of her including a shower.
Since hiding from Adriel, it has become more common that Ava hears Beatrice cussing. Yet Ava can't stop herself from grinning. It entertains her every time.
Bored, she is sitting through commercials in front of the tv when Beatrice's voice appears, loudly.
"Fucking shit!"
Ava grins, getting on her feet excitedly. She wonders what could have caused Beatrice's mood. She approaches their bedroom and peaks inside. No sight of the Sister Warrior. The kitchen is empty too.
Just when Ava starts questioning herself, she hears Beatrice again.
The bathroom. Ava's knock interrupts Beatrice cussing.
"Bea? Are you alright?"
Silent stretches. Ava fears she might have interrupted Beatrice on the toilet. Of course that could only happen to Ava just when she starts to really like someone.
Ava hears Beatrice sighing. Something no amount of training could have prepared Ava leaves Beatrice's mouth.
"Can you help me with the shower?"
Beatrice is dressed when Ava enters. Covering her eyes with her hands, the Warrior Nun tries to navigate herself through the bathroom.
As always a smile is not missing from Ava's face, and Beatrice can finally fully admire it. Without having the fear of getting caught.
"I am not looking! I don't have any Halo power allowing me to look! I mean I don't have a Halo manual but I am not looking! I swear I am not looking, Beatrice!"
Ava being Ava happens to trip over her own feet. She ends up removing her hands from her eyes to steady herself.
Beatrice catches her. Ava holds onto Beatrice's shoulders. As usual Ava feels like Beatrice can see right through her, so she avoids the eye contact. And happens to look down.
A grin spreads on her face as she removes herself from Beatrice. She isn't aware of the breath Beatrice releases. Beatrice isn't aware of how the halo stops glowing when her hand stops touching it.
"Showering with your clothes? Is this some Sister Warrior ritual? Do you need my blessing?"
"Very funny. There is no water."
Beatrice watches Ava step inside the tub, to get a closer look. As if the shower has been waiting for Ava, the water suddenly starts running.
"Ava!"
Ava reacts differently than Beatrice. She is laughing.
Beatrice is about to reach for the shower handle when she and Ava make eye contact. Beatrice backs away to the door.
"No, Ava! Don't you dare!"
Beatrice fools herself to think she is safe once she leaves the bathroom and shuts the door. She is so wrong. The door of the bathroom flies open and Ava, still under the running water, gives Beatrice a mischievous smile.
"Ava! Don't!"
Ava doesn't listen. The energy of the Halo doesn't listen. It pulls Beatrice next to Ava under the stream of water.
"Sister Warrior Beatrice! I bless you to-"
Beatrice cuts Ava off. She splashes the shower water at Ava even though they are already getting soaked. Ava laughs, splashing back the water. After a few back and forth water splashing at each other, Beatrice joins her laugh.
The two of them end up having to clean the bathroom since they have not closed the shower curtain. Still their smiles last until early in the morning. Just like the glowing of Ava's Halo.
Beatrice breaks down in the shower, sobbing. The memory of Ava's laughter mixes with her muffled sobs.
______________
Fully dressed, her hair still wet from the shower and her eyes red and puffy from finally crying, Beatrice lies down on her bed. Beatrice tells herself to stop crying. She knows her duty. She knows Warrior Nuns die.
What has she expected to be different this time? Why has she expected it to be different this time? Because Ava is different. Ava has been different out of all the Warrior Nuns. Ava has been different yet so comfortable to get used to. Ava has broken down the walls to Beatrice's heart.
Now Ava is gone. The only protection Beatrice's heart has is I love you. New tears prick Beatrice's eyes as she remembers every single moment with Ava. Ava has not heard the I love you back. Beatrice is about to start blame herself for not telling her sooner, when there is a knock on her door.
"Mother Superion?" Beatrice sniffles
Beatrice sits up and wipes over her eyes.
Mother Superion makes a hand movement, telling Beatrice to stay in bed. Her eyes show that she has been crying too.
"Ava wanted me to give these to you."
Two folded papers. One is marked with A. One with B.
Beatrice waits for Mother Superion to leave. Finally, she can unfold the papers. She starts with A.
Dear Beatrice,
Will you go sightseeing with me? Will you teach me how to dance? Will you allow me to teach you how to drink? Will you go on a date with me? Give the emoji below a smile if yes. Give the emoji no smile if you don't.
Beatrice has to chuckle at the emoji while tears are rolling down her face. She grabs a pen from her nightstand and gives the emoji a smile.
Beatrice's smile fades, realizing it's too late.
Shakily breathing, she unfolds paper B.
Dear Beatrice,
I am sorry. I was wrong. They beat us together. But I am sure about something else. About you. I love you, Bea. I always will. In this life or the next.