Chapter Text
"What should i do?"
Arnie asked his cousin lamely, while sitting on his bed and staring at the wall. Counting every minute in this conversation,
Yesterday, Arnie receive a message from Lila that she will be visiting next week. But why? He thought. It's because she misses him? Or that she will bring a machete and cut his misery life. That wasn't so bad actually. Either way, Arnie reply the message that he'll wait for her to come. Foolish decision. Does she not remember the time he broke up with her just to try to win Helga's love? With alot of thoughts in his head and no answers, he reach out his cousin for help.
"Calm down, you need to be yourself." He heard his cousin spoke. The response makes his blood boil.
Why?
Why would he be himself. Why would he do that. Is Arnold insane?
He snorted, which he immediately covers his nose in frustration. When will this stupid nose stop making that noise.
"That's all you have to say?"
"Listen, Arnie. That's all you needs to know. You know that she loves you for who you are."
Without needing anymore to say, Arnie hangs up the telephone. Stopping the conversation. He sigh deeply, blinking slowly, his gaze deadpan to his hands "Who does he think he is.." he mumbles "He thinks he's so special and right...." Which he is.
Arnie groaned, putting his palms to his face. He loathe Arnold. Ever since he notice how charming his cousin's personalities, he began envy towards him. Even refusing to come visit his boarding house for long time unless his parents insisted. All he do spending time there is searching for lint or other interesting things to collect and sleep. Not even trying to go out and explore the city. Which he knows, he wouldn't last. Aside from Arnold, he despise his friends too. They are very transparent towards him, making faces, disgusted, and mocking. His worst thing to encounter is pity. Pity from his cousin, pity from Arnold's friends, and pity from strangers. Why wouldn't they just leave him alone?
The whole thing with Helga? It's just him trying to make his cousin miserable. He doesn't even like Helga. Sure, she's pretty, but he doesn't fond of girls that are tomboys. He rather have a girl who is sweet, delicate, and nice. Just like...her.
Arnie blinked before he stare at the mirror across his room. A moment of staring at himself, he slowly finds reasons to hate himself. His big nose, the way he blinks, the way he does everything. He hates them. Before he make himself worse, he leaves his bed with blanket in his hands and cover the mirror.
Now he felt bit better, no reflection going to remind him, that he's the ugliest creature in the world.
He laid down on the bed, letting his arm cover his eyes. He ponder of what to do next. He could run away, change his identity and starts a new life where he could be someone else.
Huh?
Removing his arm from his wide eyed, Arnie's head starts to spin. That's it. He felt like his brain working for the first time. He should be someone else.
Not this ugly thing.
But someone..
Someone like, Arnold.
Arnie jumped out his bed, looking up to his clock. 12 AM. Lila said that she'll visit next week. Not soon. He got time to change his entire being.
It's time to do just that.
Starting off by taking off his propeller hat. Such a shame. He really like his hat. The memories of his mother giving it to him when he was just a baby. This hat is like a magnet to him and he needs to immediately take it off and put it inside the cardboard box. Now he feels naked. Without his hat he felt odd, oh well, it couldn't get any weirder. Then he changed his style of clothes to be more city boy. He kept the flannel just because people seems to still like the flannel style. A pair of jeans is what he needs.
In the morning, Arnie begged his mother to cut his hair to be more "proper" before school. His mother couldn't even thought this day would come to her son and asked him what's the matter, even asking what's with his clothes of choice. After a few more pleading from Arnie, his mother grant his wish. His hair now short but clean. When he arrive at his small school, almost all of the students couldn't recognize him at first. Thinking his plan is working, he try talking to other people, and trying very hard not to bring up his special interest. But to no avail, people are still uncomfortable engaging conversation with him. Now to the next step.
Changing the way he talks and act. It's not easy. It's the hardest one in fact. Forcing himself to remove the cloth from the mirror, he practice, practice, and practice. To the point he felt nausea and needs to throw up. Almost changing his mind about this whole deal. But he won't give up. Anything to see her. Anything to change to be the better.
He pray all of this to work.