Chapter Text
Alex Rider was 20 and he was retired. Well, ‘retired’ wasn’t quite the right word for it. Technically he was on break, and once he got his degree MI6 would no doubt snatch him back up– but the point is he was free until then. Until then he was just a university student who did NOT engage in espionage in his spare time.
So, he sat in his 50-person lecture on military history half lucid just typing away as the professor droned on. His friend Jake leaned over and whispered, “What’re you doing after class?”
Alex, a little peeved at the distraction, pushed Jake back into his respective seat. “Studying.”
“Come on, mate. Don’t be so dull. Let’s go out for some drinks. You can invite your boyfriend or whoever he is.”
Tom Harris was who Jake was talking about. Tom Harris, his best friend who stuck with him through those rocky secondary school years MI6 mission days, Tom Harris who sucked at school but still sat with him day and night to make sure he could catch up and pass the GCSEs. Tom Harris, the only person in the school he was able to talk freely with. Tom Harris his best friend and roommate.
“Maybe. We can talk more after lecture.”
Only, the lecture never got to end, at least not in the usual way. The period never ended, the professor never released them, because suddenly the door was bursting open and four men with guns were running in, securing the perimeter. Alex’s eyes narrowed and scanned their clothing for any sign of identifying symbols. When he came up blank, he slowly closed his laptop and ran his hand along the back edge until he felt an indent. The laptop was a congratulations gift from Smithers before he went off to university, it was more than just a fast computer with a shit ton of memory.
Moving quickly, he flattened his index finger to it, allowing it to scan. He felt it buckle and a small earring fell into his hand. A comm. God, he loved Smithers. He quickly fastened it to his ear, never taking his eyes off of the group. Just in time it seems, because the group was happy with the perimeters and with scaring the shit out of his professor and had now turned his eyes towards the students.
“Hands up! Everyone to the front of the room, all electronics should be left in your seats. If we see you with a phone or apple watch– or whatever we’ll shoot.”
The students quietly tittered and slowly made their way towards the front of the lecture hall. The professor was on the ground, a knife to his neck. Alex mused that despite teaching military tactics he never truly got the point did he?
As Alex was walking with Jake, who was shaking like a leaf next to him, the comm purred to life. “Alex? Everything okay old chap?” Smithers's voice echoed lightly.
Alex coughed lightly twice; a signal they had created for the first time he wore the earring on a mission to Spain. A signal to indicate things were not great and he needed backup.
Typing sounded from Smithers's side as Alex assumed he began to hack the University security cameras and the student's phones. “Oh, seems you’ve found yourself caught in the middle of a heist. The archaeology students in your building were undergoing a bit of a show of a new artefact, it seems these young men were here for some extra cash. You’re with team B, probably just insurance for team A, who's actually stealing the artefacts, in case they need some civilian leverage.”
The students all began to sit down in the front of the room. Alex stayed standing, eyeing the four men, reading their movements while Smithers fed him information. The first guy, with the knife to his professor he was going to call Pointy, both because of the knife, and because his nose was pointy as hell. The second guy who stood at the doorway of the room he was going to call Shifty because he kept moving back and forth, shifting his centre of gravity. He was clearly new and nervous as hell. Alex could use that. The third guy was at his back, but Alex decided to call him Big Foot considering his shoes were huge as hell and as he walked his footsteps echoed as he stomped around the room. The final guy, guy four, he was going to call Trigger because his finger had not left the trigger of his gun. Trigger was itching to use it. He was probably the biggest threat here. He would have to go first.
Smithers piped up, “I’ve received the go-ahead from Ms Jones. We know you’re a retired, old chap, but do us a favour and handle this, will you? You’ve been given permission to act with lethal force if necessary. Your mission objective is to secure the artefact and ensure the safety of the civilians. If possible, have one member of each team available for interrogation.”
Alex was now the only student standing. Jake was grabbing his hand and trying to pull him to sit with the rest as Trigger eyed him, his gun aimed at the ground but Alex had a feeling it wouldn’t stay that way for long.
This was his school and no way he would let some wannabes come in and ruin a perfectly good, perfectly normal, day. Alex cleared his throat, “Mission accepted but tell Tulip she owes me one.”
Before anyone could react, Alex jumped and was whacking the gun out of Trigger’s hand and hitting his head against the whiteboard, knocking him unconscious. He quickly grabbed the gun and feeling the weight he realised it wasn’t heavy enough to be bullets. He ran his hand across the barrel as he cocked the gun, and he recognised an indent underneath it. The gun was built for tranquilisers. That’s good he supposed, at least he wouldn’t be completely traumatising his classmates.
He swung the butt of the gun at Pointy and broke his nose, causing him to drop his knife from the professor's throat. While Pointy was clutching his nose, Alex felt a prickle at the back of his neck, and he whipped around just in time to see Big Foot pointing his gun at him. With the training those days at Malagosto cultivated, Alex swung his gun around and shot. Instinctive shooting was fast, there was no need to aim and was always right on target. Big Foot stood no chance.
He turned back towards Pointy, who was clutching his gushing nose, and shot his neck.
Three out, one to go.
Alex turned towards the Shifty, who was standing there slack jawed. “S-stay back!” Shifty stammered.
Alex cocked his head and began to slightly mirror Shifty. “S-stay back!” Alex repeated him.
Shifty gripped his gun and Alex copied him. “What’re you doing? Stop it, or I’ll shoot!”
Alex took a step forward, his stride containing the same uncertainty and speed that Shifty had when entering the room. “What’re you doing? Stop it, or I’ll shoot!” Alex repeated, his voice taking on a deeper intonation. Almost there, Alex thought.
“Please, I don’t want to harm you!” Shifty said, eyes darting around the room.
“Please, I don’t want to harm you!” Alex repeated in a voice that wasn’t his own. He smiled. Got it.
Alex whipped his gun up, reloaded and shot Shifty right in the neck. Shifty went down fast. Efficiently walking over, Alex started to strip Shifty and change into his clothes. Black pants, about his size, a nice bullet proof vest and combat boots in his size. Score. He’s been wanting new boots.
“W-what’re you doing Alex?" Jake asked in the background.
Alex shushed him before grabbing the walkie talkie Shifty had on his belt. "Uh, hey guys? I'm not needed here and everyone is wondering if I can maybe help out you guys instead?" Alex asked, his voice a perfect imitation of Shifty.
The device clicked to life after a moment. "Sure, kid. We could use a human shield or mule horse. Come over to room 312." Step one complete.
"Their phones have been shut down from the internet. Ben is on his way to keep them company while you continue to take down Team A." Smithers sounded.
Alex turned towards the team and let his normal voice temporarily sound, "Stay calm, guys. I've got to go handle the rest of these guys but it's all under control. An agent will be back soon to make sure you're all okay and probably get you to sign some shit. Just stay in the room and you'll be safe." Alex then gave them a lopsided smile, "don't worry, I've got it all under control."
With that, he left the room and locked the door behind him. He began to talk to himself as he got used to Shifty's voice again.
He entered room 312 and waved awkwardly to the team, shifting his centre of gravity back and forth.
One of the guys, with a disgusting moustache earning him the name Moustache. Hey, Alex never claimed to be creative.
The rest of the day went about the same. Alex ended up playing the pack mule and held the priceless (heavy) artefact while the other guys joked around. Alex didn't feel the need to take them out because he already secured both objectives.
"Hey uhh where's the car again?" He asked, innocently as he juggled the heavy golden plaque.
"God, Pablo, you're such a newbie huh? Its through the north entrance, just follow us and it'll be fine."
"North entrance, got it!" Alex exclaimed, making sure Smithers heard.
"An agent will replace their driver." Smithers responded, joyfully. "Oh how I've missed the field, it's always so fun working with you."
Alex's heard warmed but before he could respond in code one of the guys asked, "Hey, is your team meeting us at the meeting point?"
Thinking fast Alex continued, "Yeah don't worry, sir. When they sent me over they mentioned just making sure none of the phones got any photos or anything."
The criminals, clearly not that experienced, nodded and directed Alex away from the cowering archaeology students. They all hastily walked towards the north entrance where he recognised Crawley's silhouette in the driver's seat. Everyone climbed in and before the guys could start celebrating, handcuffs sprung from the wall and latched onto their hands, securing them to the van. Another one of Smithers' inventions no doubt.
Alex handed the plaque over to a stone-faced Crawley and began to strip and change into jeans and a sweater he was handed. "Always a pleasure to work with you, Agent Rider."
In his normal voice he beamed, "Sames Crawley. See you at my graduation, no doubt!" Alex flippantly waved and jumped out of the van and made his way back to his classroom.
"Thanks for the help, Smithers. You need me to debrief?"
His earring chimed, "No, it's okay Alex. The earring will fill in any details Crawley and Daniels don't have. Team B has been cleaned up and Agent Daniels is just finishing up with your classmates. See you later, old chap! Good luck with your classmates."
The earring dinged twice then robotically sounded, "disconnected."
Alex sighed as he strolled back into the building. The halls were deserted and he wondered how many wandering students got roped into the theft. He hoped no one got seriously hurt.
He opened the door to his classroom and was faced with his wide-eyed classmates and Ben who was standing and collecting the Officials Secrets paperwork.
Alex walked up to Ben and gave him a handshake. "Hey Ben, how's containment?"
"Fine, thanks for taking this mission. It would've been a pain for me to try and infiltrate."
"Yeah, it was no bother. Easy in and out. But don't you let them try and rope me in again. I only accepted cause they're my classmates, so it was kinda personal."
"No worries, Mr. Retirement. You focus on getting a degree before you join us again. Just don't let those reflexes slow."
Alex snorted, "Don't worry I can still outshoot you any day old man." Braving the storm, Alex turns towards his classmates and professor and give them a lopsided smile. "I hope no one got hurt. And sorry about the paperwork, gotta hate bureaucracy."
The professor started stuttering questions and Alex shrugged. "There's a reason I get good grades on military history and tactics. Stuff's useful in my line of work." He then turned towards Jake and patted his back. "So, drinks?"
Jake, wide-eyed Jake, nodded. "Ima need a few. Didn't know you were so uhhh-" he waved his hands towards Ben who was packing up.
"Yeah, conscription's a bitch." Alex nodded thanks towards a leaving Ben. Ben waved then disappeared. Alex clapped his hands lightly and prompted, "Time to go home?"
The professor rapidly nodded and started rattling off the readings for next week. Alex memorised the homework and lightly coaxed Jake out the door with packed bags.
"Look I'll text Tom and you can come over to our flat and ask any questions you want. Tom knows about it all so I'll probably have to update him on today before you start asking, but don't worry you'll get answers."
With that, Alex gained another real friend and another mission under his 100% success rate. Now onto the next big issue: midterms.