Chapter Text
Noelle sat at her clean wooden desk as she pondered where Kris was, `They're always here on time?` Noelle thought to herself as she watched the clock handles tick in a timely manner. `One minute left, Hopefully Kris will arrive on time. What if something happened to Toriel?!` She began to panic and started to shake her hoofs to help calm herself. Thoughts raced through her head, but then right at the last second, Kris opened the door, missing the bell by a second. Following Kris, though, was someone unexpected...Susie! Noelle always got so nervous around Susie, her heart would flutter and her words would stop making sense. What was she feeling? It was love...she loved Susie. Something about her was so wonderful. No matter how mean and heartless she was, Noelle always had loved her.
Recently Susie had changed though, even since she went into that closet with Kris. Kris...oh yes! Kris...haha? Why were Kris and Susie always together all of a sudden? They walked in together just now. Maybe they're...also feeling 'love' for each other. This upset Noelle. It wasn't fair! How could Susie love Kris? Of course they could be just friends...hopefully. Susie walked slowly behind Kris, she seemed tired.
"Oh K-Kris, Susie...y-you're right on time!" Alphys said with her usual annoying stutter. The two sat down as usual and class began. Alphys started class and Noelle's mind wandered, she imagined her life with Susie. That's all Noelle thought about that day, Susie.
A loud bell disrupted her thoughts, and they were dismissed for lunch. `The lunch bell already?` Noelle thought. She must've zoned out for the entire class.
"Hey Noelle!" Susie yelled walking over to her desk. "Wanna sit with me and Kris today, instead of the idiot you usually sit next to?"
"HEY!" yelled Berdly. "Wait! Of course. We idiots can all sit together." `Berdly can be so stupid sometimes, I wonder if he has brain damage.` Noelle thought. Susie threw a threatening look in Berdly's direction, yet he didn't seem to care. Noelle rolled her eyes internally.
“Alright, we'll walk with you." She said, somehow without stuttering. Kris gave her a thumbs up and turned, walking in front of everyone else, who were still sitting in their seats.
"HEY! KRIS! WAIT UP!" Susie yelled, and stormed after them quickly. `Why is she so quick to follow them?`
They walked through the hallways, Susie and Kris leading the way. Berdly was to Noelle's left, talking her ear off. About what she couldn't say, as she wasn't paying any attention to him, but starting forward at Susie...and Kris too somewhat. She watched their exchanges, Susie cracking some humorous "jokes” and punching Kris in the arm from time to time; while Kris had seemingly no reaction to this whatsoever. `Why does she even hangout with them? It's not like they DO anything...wait what am I thinking? Kris is a good friend, a good friend.` She continued walking at a medium pace, longing to be in Kris's place, having Susie talk to her and joke with her. She pulled herself away from her train of thought when she heard Berdly's "You get what I mean?", indicating her chance to speak.
"Yeah, totally." She said, truthfully having no idea what he means. They finally reached the cafeteria where many students were chatting with their friends at tables, and some sitting alone. Kris and Susie get in line, Noelle and Berdly Follow.
"Ugh, I hope they're not serving those weird 'meatloaf' things. Damn things don't even taste like meat!" Susie exclaimed, earning a giggle from Noelle despite her use of vulgar language. "Oh god they are! No!" They get the so-called “meatloaf” and head to an empty table near the back. Most of the time Susie got a table all to herself because of her reputation. Sometimes Noelle would watch Susie eat alone and think about all the ways she could go up to her and join her. She was always too nervous to actually ever do it though. Her one flaw is how nervous she gets. If she wasn’t so nervous maybe just maybe she would have a shot.
“Oh, it's December already?” Susie say’s looking up at the Christmas decorated walls. Noelle starts to tense up. “Hey Noelle, don’t you love December?” Noelle's palms started to sweat “December is like the best month of the whooooole year.” Her Vision blurred “I LOVE the snow cause its the only time it snows here in this stupid town, for some reason it doesn't snow any other month besides December.” Her weight came crashing down on her, she wanted to hide. “Christmas is in December too, in December you give gifts, you know December?” She needed to hide. “December December, December December, December…” Noelle runs off into the abandoned girls bathroom. She tries to take a deep breath but instead takes a sharp quick breath followed by another, she's no longer breathing normally, she's hyperventilating. Her vision goes completely black and the pain in her chest gets so unbearable she nearly passes out.
Five minutes go by. Five unbearable minutes. Was this how she would die? Dying would be better than this.
“Noelle?” Says a familiar voice. Noelle flinched in response and tried to hide herself in the corner of the stall. She heard heavy footsteps approaching, god she was so scared. A knock was made but wasn’t heard. Then suddenly she hears something sounding like it was ripped apart. The door. She could barely breathe and now she was sobbing harder than ever. Noelle felt a presence slid down next to her. “Oh god, Noelle?...Hey you’re alright...” Noelle feels arms wrap around her shoulders and move her. Susie comforted Noelle, whispering into her ears soothing words like, “You’re going to be okay.” “I'm here. You're safe now.” “Deep breaths.”
Eventually Noelle's breaths get steady and her vision slowly comes back, causing her to finally realize the one comforting her, Susie. She would've gotten flustered, but was too drained. She let her weight fall back into Susie’s chest despite knowing she shouldn’t. She expected a very awkward moment, but Susie kept holding onto her, only this time she wasn’t speaking. The bathroom was quiet and she felt calm.
“I'm sorry...” Noelle said, breaking the silence. She still had a hoarse voice, at least she could breathe and speak again.
“Sorry for what?” Susie said, in the most sincere voice ever. “You did nothing wrong. Things like this happen, I just wish you told us you get panic attacks.”
“Oh yeah-" Noelle was interrupted with a small hiccup. "-I...usually don’t, this has been my first one for a while.”
“Can I ask what triggered it?”
“December.” Noelle choked.
“The month or the word?” Susie said, placing her head atop of Noelle's.
“The word..” She said, this time she was nervous because of Susie. `Bad time to be nervous but at least it's a distraction.`
“Can I ask…why?"