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Cas goes for a walk. Dean joins him.
Castiel had walked this earth since before its creation was complete. When the oceans were still filling, the mountains still rising. When the largest things on the entire planet were three-meter tall protaxities, and strange creatures roamed around them, coming up on land to explore.
Castiel liked to walk. Take everything in around him. Even though Castiel had lost faith in its creator, the creation in itself was still a beautiful sight to behold.
There was a hill, roughly a mile from the Bunker, in a field next to the road. That was Castiel's favorite spot to watch the sun come up.
Castiel was headed there now, halfway up the stairs that led to the outside world, when he was stopped.
“You goin' on another one of your walks?” Dean asked, standing next to the war table, cup of coffee in hand.
“Yes,” Castiel answered truthfully, though he had the instinct to lie. He liked his solitude in the mornings and could sense Dean's next question. But he'd decided to not hide anything from the Winchesters anymore, no matter how small. He owed them that, after everything they'd been through.
After Jack had rescued him from the Empty.
After that first prayer Cas heard from Sam, begging an angel he thought was dead to come save his brother.
After the second prayer, from Dean, a goodbye note attached to a not-quite suicide.
Castiel looked down at that face now. Remembered how it'd looked when he'd showed up to heal Dean from being impaled. He remembered how the first thing Dean had asked him was ‘Is this Heaven?'.
“Mind if I join you?” Dean asked, as Castiel knew he would, already setting his coffee cup down and heading Cas' way.
“Of course not.”
—
They walked without speaking. They were quiet often these days with each other. Too much to say to let it come out easily, so both opted to keep the easy calm of silence.
When they made it to the field Castiel walked up onto the hill and sat down in his usual spot, Dean sitting down next to him.
“We waitin' for sunrise?” Dean asked, finally breaking that calm.
“Yes.”
“Then I've got time…” Dean said quietly, maybe to himself.
“Time?” Castiel asked in confusion, looking over at the Hunter. He had bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. His face was thinner than Castiel was used to due to not eating, stomach too filled with alcohol to make room for anything useful. Though now he was surprisingly sober, body filled with caffeine rather than liquor.
“Cas…” Dean started off slowly, “There's something I gotta say–”
“Dean,” Castiel interrupted, “You don't have to.” ‘You don't have to say you're like a brother to me. That you don't feel what I feel. That my love is unrequited at least in that way.’ These hideous thoughts followed Cas' words, trying their best to be spit out through Castiel's throat. “I already know.”
“You do?” Dean looked doubtful.
“You were going to say…” Castiel had to swallow down his pain, “That I am like a brother to you. That I'm family. But–”
“You know,” Suddenly Dean was huffing out a laugh, “That's what I used to think. For a long time. It was the only thing that made sense. Or at least that's what I told myself.” Dean was watching the horizon, waiting for the rising sun, “But I was wrong.”
“You were?” So they were back to step one. Castiel's confession had robbed so much from both of them, and now it stood to steal even more.
Dean looked over at Cas, took a deep breath, and then said easily, with a smile ghosting his lips, “I love you, too.”
For a moment Castiel was sure he was back in the Empty. Some strange and cruel trick being played on him. But then the moment kept hanging between them, unbroken, and Castiel realized this was real .
“Dean…” Castiel had to swallow again, tears springing to his eyes. The first rays of sunlight just peaking over the horizon. “I…” but what could he say? There weren't words in any language that had been created so far.
“I should’ve said it, back then. But I just… didn't have the time. Shoulda done this too,” And then Dean leaned forward and enveloped Castiel in a hug.
“I love you,” Dean said again. Kissing the side of Castiel's neck, making him choke out a sob.
Castiel held onto his human as tightly as he could without hurting him. Now this… this was true happiness. It wasn't just in the saying it. It was in the having. It was in the love, requited, passing between two beings, making them as one. The Empty had been wrong. So had Castiel.
For a terrifying moment, Castiel thought he was about to be brought back into that pit of endless night. But when nothing happened he let out a wet laugh.
“What is it, angel?” Dean murmured against his neck.
Castiel pulled back so he could see those beautiful green eyes and freckled features. He placed a hand against Dean's face, “It's just,” he laughed, “I… I love you.”
Dean smiled, tears in his eyes as well, before he leaned in and kissed him.
The heat of the sun warmed them both as they got lost in each other.
Would this make everything better? All the hurt and the pain they'd both endured? No. It may not even make the load easier to bare. But they won't be alone in their sorrows, or in their victories. They'll be together. And that was something… in fact, it was everything.
