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She swayed on the parapets, and he could not help but be mesmerized by the grace of her movements.
Behind her the Ponni river flowed, it's water lapping softly into the stone she stood on. Her red saree contrasted with the green waters behind her and the blue sky above her.
She was dancing, her feet bare as they moved precisely, nimbly on the narrow stone she stood on. It was an unsafe endeavour. The stone was wet and slick. Some of the stones had fallen, and the whole parapet was uneven. A stray wind might knock her off her feet if she was not careful.
But what he learned those days was that Nandhini would not allow herself any kind of elegance if there was not a semblance of danger to it. At least, when he was around.
It was less her showing off and more her relishing in his concern for her.
He knew this, and as much as he resisted her intent behind her dance, he could not look away from her feet, hoping she would not misstep.
"To what end? Do you wish to fall into the river?" He called.
She did not reply, and instead smiled as she pirouetted around so he could not see her face as she continued dancing. Her arms making hypnotic arcs, cutting the air. Her fingers twirling as if collecting and spinning an invisible thread.
"Oh, so you're tired of the kingdom calling you the best dancer in it and are seeking the attention of our river?" He shouted.
"Kaveri dances a hundred times more relentlessly and a thousand times more elegantly than I can hope to match." She replied.
"She's a river. She is vast and violent. But I'm sure she enjoys your presence, and appreciates you taking the time to dance for it. But I also hear she has poor eyesight. So, shouldn't you be in her waters when you dance, so she can feel your movements?"
"You would like that, wouldn't you, firstborn prince? For me to be soaked? How unseemly."
"Unfounded accusations. But perhaps it is not a good idea. The river is known to be particularly treacherous in this crossing. The Kaveri is violent, like I said."
"There is a difference between violence and passion, my prince."
"Nothing good can come from that passion, is what I meant."
"You, of all people, should know that to be untrue. Or do you forget why the people know your brother by another name?"
Karikalan tried to think of a comeback, but could not think of any. She had him there.
Nandhini smiled, "Ponniyin Selvan. The Precious Son of Kaveri. The river is passionate. And I can only dream of being able to match that passion."
"It was just a suggestion. I wouldn't let you descend into the water, I swear it."
"You have sworn many things to me these past few weeks. Many promises that weren't kept. But I have no doubt this one you'll keep."
"I apologize for that, my princess of beauty."
"Your sweet words hold no weight."
"But your entire body holds more than its weight in gold for me."
"You're not a poet, Adi. What you said sounded idiotic."
"You wound me. My instructor would be—"
"You're instructor is an idiot as well, then." She said, without missing a beat.
"You would call the king an idiot?" Adithya asked, smiling. This time, he got her.
Nandhini ceased her dancing, and turned around.
"I didn't mean to insult your father."
"Well, he's not here to hear it."
"I apologize if I offended you, my prince." She said, getting down from the stone.
"You can never offend me, Nandhini."
"I sometimes forget myself."
"No, those are the moments when you are yourself. And I love those moments when they happen."
"You notice them, do you? Keen eyed, are you? Waiting to see my falter?"
"Even when you falter you are graceful."
"Close your mouth, my prince. Enough."
"'My prince.' You love saying that, don't you."
"Why are you here?"
"To see you."
"You've seen me. You may leave."
"You're dismissing me?"
"If you would allow me to, then yes, I am dismissing you." She said, crossing her arms.
"Alright, my princess. I'll take my leave." He said, dejected but smiling as he turned to leave.
"'My princess.' You love saying that, don't you?" She called after him, which made him smile even more.
----
They met again a few days later, at the same broken stone parapets. This was becoming their spot.
"Firstborn Prince." She called out as he climbed down to her.
"Trespasser." He called out to her in return.
"Trespasser?" She said, confused.
"I wondered why no one ever comes here but you. Apparently this whole area is part of the royal grounds."
"And you did not know that, my prince?"
"You're telling me you knew this?"
"I do. These grounds are shared by both the temple and the palace. Do you not know who I am, Adi? Well, you've never asked, have you?"
"Forgive me, that was rude of me. I was so smitten by your beauty I forgot my manners."
"Enough with compliments. You do know of the Lady Sembiyan Mahadhevi, don't you?"
"Is that a jest?"
"I am one of her wards, you oblivious kingling."
"Kingling?"
"I was tired of calling you my prince."
"I don't think I've seen you around in the palace, no less anyone mention you."
"They don't mention me by name. I'm just known as 'the pretty one of Mahadhevi's', and I rarely come by the palace. I'm part of the temple. They keep me relatively hidden."
"Why?"
"Circumstances of my birth, I think."
"Who are your parents?"
"I only have guesses. It took you this long to ask these questions?"
"I am not one for conversations. And I confess I know little of who my mother keeps as her wards. She is known to be devout."
"That, she is. I know not what she prays for, but it can't... Never mind."
"Tell me, queenling."
"I told you, enough with that."
"I jest, Nandhini. But to think you've been part of the palace and I have never seen you..."
"I rarely come by the palace. I don't like it much."
"I can give you a room."
"You would give me a cage."
"Would you really call it that?"
"I do not want favours or handouts, my prince."
"Of course not. I am the fool to try and help you." He said, sarcastically.
"Your passions and eagerness are tiresome." She replied, matching his tone.
"So are yours."
They stared at each other a moment, Karikalan smiling.
But Nandhini was not.
"I think I may be needed at the temple. I'll be taking my leave." She said, curtly, stepping away from the prince.
Karikalan moved to touch her hand, but she withdrew it out of reach.
"Nandhini..." He called after her, but she did not look back.
------
The next time they met at the stoney parapets, it was Nandhini who started the conversation. She was in a better mood today.
"The other day, you told me I was eager for something, passionate about something. What am I eager for, do you think?" She asked.
"What we are all eager for. Freedom."
"I am free."
"Then why do you come here almost every day? Looking across the Kaveri with that longing look? What lies beyond that you wish for?" He asked.
"You pay too close of an attention to me, Adi. You're a prince. Don't you have your own matters to tend to?"
"Stately affairs are boring. My sister has a better grasp for that sort of thing. But my grandfather proposes going to war with the Pandiyas. Talking about eagerness, that is something I am eager for."
"War? Bloodshed?"
"I am better with a sword than I am with words."
"One should hope so, if what you recited to me the other day was meant to be poetry."
"You should come see my practice."
"I'll pass."
"Indulge me. I have seen you move. It's only fair you see me."
"I didn't 'move' for you."
"Yes, we all know you dance for Kaveri and for her eyes only."
"You're right when you said she has a poor eyesight. Because that means she sees me for who I am. Not for my looks. Not for my figure. But for me. I don't dance for you, Adi. I like to see your reactions, but the dance isn't meant for you."
"Would you come and see something that was meant for you?"
"Only if you would blindfold me. So I can truly appreciate it." She replied sarcastically.
Karikalan turned away, dejected again, but not smiling this time.
"Do you not like me?"
"This is childish."
"Answer the question, Nandhini."
"I do. I like our time together. But we both know this will not last."
"Would you marry me?"
"Is that what you would ask of me?"
"You are puzzle I wish to solve."
"You are an idiot who looks at a woman and sees a puzzle."
"You're different."
"Be sure to tell the other women you meet that, as well."
"I won't meet any like you."
"Because they won't be me. That's the thing about different people, you see, my idiot prince. They are all different."
"Yes. In that they aren't you. I will marry you, Nandini. And make you—"
"Yours?"
"My queen."
"Respectfully, my prince, I'll have to decline."
"Why?"
"To think just moments ago you had rightfully reflected that I sought freedom. And now you would wish to bind me."
"Bind you? It's a marriage, Nandhini. Everyone gets married. Wouldn't you rather marry someone whom you like? Who likes you in return?"
"It does not matter what I, alone, think. There is also the Lady Mahadhevi."
"She would be glad to have you marry me. Anyone would be glad."
"Then go make someone else happy."
"Why this hostility? What have I said that you find bothersome?"
"What do you like about me?"
"Everything." Aditha said without pause.
"Don't say that."
"Why not? Do you not like me the same way I like you? Do you not give me the glances that melt my insides? Do I not do the same for you?"
"No. I do not melt from a simple glance."
Karikalan balked.
"But yes, I do like you the same way." She said, smiling at Karikalan's dumbfounded expression.
"Then... Then marry me."
"How can an orphan marry the Chola kingdom's heir?"
"You're not an orphan. You're my mother's ward."
"Not all would see it that way."
"Why do you care what others—"
"My idiot prince, think! Our passions are nothing compared to the duty of our stations. I am to be a Vishnavaite. A maiden in service to Lord Vishnu. I am a woman of the temple. And you, you are the crown prince. You'll have to marry within your station. Probably to another princess to forge an alliance with her kingdom or strengthen your own. You can't marry me and I cannot marry you."
"You sound like my sister."
"Your sister sees reason, then."
"Do you not like me?
"There you are, behaving childish again."
"There you are, calling me childish again. I speak plainly, Nandhini. I don't have the gift of words. I can't bend them into song or poetry or give them meanings beyond the literal. I am not like you. So, just this once, be childish with me. Speak plainly with me. Do you love me?"
There was a long pause. They heard the storks honking overhead. The Ponni river lapping softly against the stone. And then,
"I do." Nandhini said, finally.
Karikalan smiled, and despite herself, Nandini laughed as well, calling him her idiot prince.
--
"You can't marry her." Kundhavai's eyes went wide as Karikalan told her his feelings. They were in the palace courtyard. Karikalan had been in a good mood all day, and wished to share the news with someone, anyone. So, he went to his sister.
"Why not?" He asked, undeterred.
"She's a nobody. She—"
"She's not a nobody. She's our mother's ward."
"An orphan, nonetheless. Besides, she's a Vishnavaite. She can't marry."
"We love each other."
"Did she say that? Did she say she loves you?"
"She did."
"She lied, then. You are a prince. There will be many sweet-tongued women who'd wish to get on your—"
"She doesn't lie. She didn't want to marry me, you know? Not at first. For the same reasons you stated. She also told me about my own station. Of how I needed to marry a princess. Of my responsibilities to the Chola kingdom."
"And yet—"
"And yet we love each other. That is also true. There can be two truths."
"Contradictory truths cannot exist for long. Not for us, and not for things like this. One truth will have to take precedent."
"Then, the truth is we love each other."
"Brother—"
"Don't I deserve to be happy?"
"Happiness comes second after duty. We are the heirs to the Chola kingdom, brother. We can't act as we please. We have duty. We have honour."
"I am well aware." Karikalan said darkly.
--
The next day Karikalan went to the watery stones overlooking the beautiful Ponni river. He had formulated a poem for her, and he was excited for her to hear it. Maybe she would like it, or more likely, she would laugh and mock it. Either way, he would be happy.
But she was not there.
He waited, reciting the poem out loud, practicing the tone, the cadence. He threw and skipped flat stones across the water. He sang the songs she sang.
But she never came.
He trekked to her temple. He greeted the powder boys at the steps, who bowed and let him in.
He asked the priests about Nandhini, but they only looked at him with pursed lips. They knew of the meetings between the two. It was easy to notice, and many did. And the priests did not approve in the slightest.
Karikalan left the temple, but not before stopping at the steps and asking one of the powder boys.
"Where's Nandhini?" He asked.
The boy's eyes widened, and he said, "I don't know. There were soldiers here this morning. She went with them."
Karikalan's eyes became furious, and the child shrank back. The prince made his way back to he palace, his blood boiling.
--
"Is this your doing?" He entered his sister's room without permission.
"Brother. You—"
"Where is she?"
"It was the king's order."
"You told him?"
"I told our mother. She told him."
"Why—"
"Everyone knows, brother. That you were meeting with her."
"It was never a secret."
"And it was not seen as such."
"Then why—"
"Because you wanted to marry her. Infatuations and flings are common. But to seek marriage with someone who's lineage can come to be questioned is not permissible."
"Permissible?"
"We are bound by laws. By duty."
"She'll hate me. She'll blame me. She had a good life here, as a woman of the temple. As our mother's ward. This is my doing. No... This is your doing." He said icily.
"Brother—"
"Where is she?"
"She's gone. She was compensated for her travels and more."
"You paid for her to leave?"
"It is for the best, brother. In time, you'll get over her. And your mind will be clearer."
"Clearer? It is clear right now. It is clear that I am surrounded by those who wish me well but will stop at nothing to do my heart harm. I was not even consulted. This was all conspired behind my back! No! I can't stay here. Thanjai without her is empty, pointless. Full of snakes and deceit."
"Brother..."
What is it everyone wishes of me? To fulfill my duties as the heir to this kingdom? Is that what is required of me? Fine. That is what I'll do. I'll let my grandfather know. The armies he has amassed for the coming war. Well, I am ready to fight now."
"The king—"
"Will be glad I'll be bringing the fight to them. That I'm leading the war. Duty, is it? Well, the Tiger flag will fly high. Will fly everywhere. I'll take all the kingdoms I come across. I'll keep marching on and on until there is nowhere for us to expand. But I won't ever be returning."
"What does that mean?"
But Karikalan was already leaving.