Work Text:
This... Was not working.
Equius was bent low over his workbench, his oil-smeared hands working the tangle of wires in front of him. It was futile, he knew this; the fleeting glances he shot towards his newest robotic creation were enough to prove this. This robot. This mess of metal and gears and electricity would have to be perfection. Anything less than his absolute best would be an insult to her, the peasant girl who had made his life hell and heaven all at once, her long silken hair and wide eager eyes complicating his quadrants beyond what he thought was possible.
And yet, he worked. He worked and toiled until his body was slick with sweat that had beaded on his skin in a combination of heat and-- was that lust? He refused to allow that thought to develop, instead throwing himself wholeheartedly into his work. And finally, it was finished. The carefully orchestrated nest of wires and metal was done, and the artificial heart was beating. Gently, so gently, the troll cupped the robotics in his callused hands. A slight twitch of his fingers or a single miscalculation in his step would absolutely crush the thrumming mechanics (and wasn't that a metaphor), and so carefully, slowly, he pushed back his stool and stood, practically tip-toeing towards the fair robotic maiden.
Before giving life to his creation, he cradled the heart against his soaked chest and stroked the robot's cheek. It was gentle, so gentle, even more so than the pats he would give Aurthour. The rough pads of his fingers slightly dulled the sensation of the icy metal, but he continued to rest his hand on her cheek, gazing into her unseeing eyes. She... This would work, he assured himself.
It had to.
Equius pulled his hand away and returned it to the nest of mechanics. With a sigh he walked to the panel located in the Aradiabot's back, and settled onto his knees. Grabbing one of his ever-present screwdrivers, he pried the metal sheet from her back and began to work on attaching the final components, the wires working as the veins that would bring life to his-- dare he say it? His matesprit .
With a sharp click, the heart settled into the specially-designed alcove that held it, but did not restrict the pumping that would work the blood-- gloriously blue-- through the robot's system. Equius twisted the lose wires together, connecting them in a spark of electricity, and the job was done. After replacing the metal paneling, the troll pushed himself into standing and wiped his slippery hands on his shorts. He moved to face Aradiabot and, with a shuddering breath, activated her.
She blinked to life, the red glow of her eyes flicking for a moment, then holding steady. Equius watched critically as the mechanics whirred and clicked, gear teeth sliding into others in a choreographed dance of clockwork. The robot shivered and raised an arm in some gesture.
Equius could wait no longer. His lips crashed against cold blue metal, his hands grasped at the fake hair he had so lovingly synthesized. He began gently but steadily increased his roughness as he became more and more desperate in his realization that this was wrong, so wrong. This was not her, this was a hunk of metal that looked like her but wasn't her, and despite his hard work and expertise it could never be her.
He pulled away, suddenly repulsed. Repulsed at this frigid lump of metal that masqueraded as Aradia, but more repulsed at himself for being this frantic for the attentions of a rustblood. He was a blueblood, his caste universes away from the masses of trolls who had mud pooling in their veins. But this was Aradia , the pauper who derserved so much more than the lowest caste. And he could give that to her with his work; his robotics rarely could be competed with.
Except this one, the one in front of him. It was a disgrace, with its jerky movements and clanking gears. This... could not stand. Equius could not stand to have this foul metal casing in front of him any longer, could not stand the mockery of his potential matesprit, could not stand the sight of his most terrible failure. And so he dealt with it in the same way he dealt with the other scattered robots around his room.
He punched it.
Its head flew into the opposite wall, its cheek dented where Equius's fist made contact and one of its horns flying off in the sheer force of impact. The now-exposed wires in the robot's neck sparked and writhed in protest of their sudden severing, and Equius slouched forward, breathing hard. He stalked over to where the head had landed and snatched it from the floor by its remaining horn. He stomped over to his workbench, ignoring the robot's twitching limbs and neck, which was now spurting an ugly mixture of black oil and blue blood. He threw the head down on the bench and it left an indentation where it landed.
Aurthour had now made his way to Equius's workspace, timidly poking his head in. He had no desire to face the rage of his charge, but the clangs and stomps had attracted his attention. Equius saw his lusus watching him and hissed, the noise a chaotic mixture of anger and disappointment. Aurthour flinched, but remained where he was. Equius needed to be alone, couldn't Aurthour see that? He was facing his greatest mistake, his biggest failure in all of his six sweeps, and now someone knew about it , even if it was just Aurthour. So he picked up a random chunk of metal paneling and flung it in the general direction of his lusus. Aurthour jumped as the heavy metal clunked against the door frame and scarpered away.
Equius would regret this later, he knew; he was fond of his lusus despite how fragile Aurthour was. But for now, he pounded his fist against his workbench, the scattered wire bits and metal filings jumping at the impact. He swung a hand towards the metal Aradiabot head, launching the battered metal casing off the table and onto the floor. His breath came out in short angry gasps as he scrunched his hair in his hands and closed his eyes, imagining. Warm lips moving against his own, soft hands caressing his face, bright yellow eyes under red lashes watching him with interest as he murmured about the majesty of musclebeasts. All the things he craved, but could never have.