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‘Time off’ wasn’t a phrase Sora had heard that often. Visiting different worlds and fixing various magical shenanigans was its own reward in many ways, and Sora was happy enough just seeing the sights.
But then Master Yen Sid started muttering things like ‘Unions’ and ‘Dental’ and ‘Paid leave’, and suddenly Sora found himself locked out of the tower with explicit advice to ‘get lost somewhere nice for a while’.
Leon had reassured him that things would be fine without him for a few days. Donald had gotten into a hearty debate with a sky pirate over treasure, and Goofy was distracted with a jigsaw puzzle, so they weren’t going to miss him either.
Thus Sora suddenly had all the time in the world, but no idea where to spend it. That was the curse of living out of a suitcase. You saw the sights, but never took in the surroundings.
“You’re going away for a while, ya?” Wakka grinned. “Bring me back a t-shirt, okay bud?”
”Vacation ideas?" Olette frowned. “Can’t help you there Sora. I’m on overtime.”
”Keeping the peace is important, yes Sora.” Aerith nodded sagely. “But so is rest. You can’t keep the peace if you’re worn out now, can you?”
”The perpetual tourist laments that of the idle.” Auron chuckled with mirth.
”Err, thanks Auron.” Sora groaned. “I’m not really here for a philosophy lesson, though. You’ve been places, right? Got any recommendations?”
”The places I’ve been are beyond even you, Sora.” Auron shook his head fondly. “How do you think I ended up here?”
”I always thought you made a bet with Hades?” Sora shrugged. “That’s how everyone else ended up here.”
Auron glanced down at the pool of swirling souls. “Hmph. You’re technically not wrong. I suppose I’ve been to my fair share of places. You’ve heard of Chocobo Fields, yes?”
”Chocobos? They’re a real thing?” Sora gasped. “Leon had told me about them, and even Cloud muttered something like ‘stupid birds’ when I asked him, but I never got a real answer??”
”Oh yes,” Auron nodded. “As real as the nose on your face. ‘Wanna take a load off? Ride a Chocobo, feel the wind in your hair’…”
”Huh. I like the corny travel agency vibe,” Sora said. “Alright, I’m in! Just tell me where to go!”
Auron opened his mouth to respond, but bit something back at the last moment. “…sure.”
After punching some coordinates into the Gummi Ship and double checking with Auron, who ‘promised’ that they were correct, Sora gave him a short nod and set off into the great abyss.
What felt like hours of trailing about the cosmos in a perplexed blur eventually bore fruit in the backwater corner of some distant galaxy. Sora made a note to come back and revisit the planet with the golden temples and weird faces, before touching down on what seemed to be one massive field.
Occasionally punctuated by idyllic waterfalls and happily little forests, Sora couldn’t help but frown. It didn’t seem all that impressive at first glance, that was for sure. Endless sunny fields meant sunbathing and naps. Where was the fun in that?
Sora signed himself into a quaint little place called the Cozy Cactuar Motel. He exchanged a few words with the receptionist, a middle aged guy with a tight afro and charming demeanour, then took a moment to glance around his room. Bed, TV, massive bathtub, big window with a porch thing outside… it wasn’t bad.
It was pretty much every other motel room he’d stayed in. Sure, he didn’t have to quell any magical beast or stop Organisation XIII from doing something evil here, but some part of him kinda wanted to.
‘Those who study the blade know little about the couch’ or something. Sounded like something Auron would say.
Sora groaned. This was all nice, but it wasn’t what was advertised. Surely Chocobo Fields would have Choco-
“Kweh!”
Suddenly, a butter yellow mirage shot past. Quick as a flash, there was the telltale scampering of feet through the grassy knolls, followed by four or five others, cutting through the plains as fast as his eyes could track.
”Chocobos!” Sora gasped. So Auron was right! They were real! All these relative strangers hadn’t been spinning some elaborate joke after all these years!
Suddenly he was invigorated. Blood coursing through his veins, he practically leapt down the curly staircase to the floor below, before accosting the receptionist from before.
“Chocobos!” He cried. “I-I wanna see-“
”Whoa whoa, calm down, my good man.” The receptionist showed Sora his palms. “You wanna see Chocobos? Good thing you’re in the right place, ain’t that right Lina?”
At the name, something bright yellow burst out of his hair. “Kweee!” it chirped.
”B-b-baby Chocobo!” Sora gasped. “Oh it’s so cute I wanna touch-“
”-I’m afraid she’s not for touching, my man.” The receptionist backed away gracefully. “However, I can pencil you in for a Chocobo dance, Chocobo racing, Chocobo treasure hunting, Chocoball, or maybe y’all just wanna explore the fields on the back of a Chocobo. We got plenty to do! Anything take your fancy?”
”O-oh, umm…” Sora puzzled over an avalanche of new information. “I kinda wanna do all those things…”
“I don’t blame you,” The man winked. “And you will, I’m sure. Sora, right? Call me Sazh.” He held out a hand. “Here for the long weekend? Plenty of time. If I can make a suggestion…?”
Sora received the handshake. “…sure?”
”The Chocobo racing, treasure hunting, they’re real popular. Could be waitin’ days for a spot. Now if you break yourself in slowly with the Chocobo dancing? Catch my drift, good man?”
”I can dance with Chocobos while the queues go down for other things?”
Sazh gave him the finger guns. “We got a sharp one. Should I sign you up then?”
”I um, sure!” Sora smiled. “Does it matter if I’m not great at dancing?”
”Not at all, buddy. Not at all.” Sazh grinned. “Okay, that’s you signed up. Now, you wanna take the first left out the front entrance, and follow the cobblestones. You can’t miss it!”
”Okay!” Sora pumped his fists. “Thanks!”
“No problem!” Sazh waved him off before tending to the next customer. At his behest, Sora followed his way down the cobblestone path, where he could see other vacation-goers with their Chocobos. Some bounced giant beachballs to each other, while others scratched about in the ground, digging up items, and others still simply explored, taking life with Chocobos at a casual pace.
Meanwhile Sora was going dancing with them. Not exactly a strong suit, as Rapunzel ever so nicely put it, but that Sazh guy at the reception made a good argument, and he’d be dancing with others too, so it didn’t matter if he looked dumb, because no one knew him here.
Cobbles underfoot, Sora followed his ears, where a jovial jingle led him to a spacious field full of what looked like inflatable props and at least five Chocobos dancing in sync. Among them were two teenage girls; a taller one with blue hair, and a shorter one with orange hair. Mostly keeping time with the Chocobos, it looked more like a freestyle than anything particularly coordinated, but it seemed like they were having fun at least.
He cleared his throat. “…room for one more?”
The music stopped with a record scratch, and the two girls remained frozen in mid-jump for a moment. The blue haired one floated back down gracefully, while the other fell with a crash, landing on her head.
”Owieee…!” She mumbled, her legs slowly coiling down to meet the ground. “Pipimi, I want some head pats…”
The blue haired teen sauntered over to her partner and knelt down, patting her on the head a few times. “Feeling better, Popuko?”
”Mhmm,” This Popuko sobbed, rising back to her feet again. “But what’re we gonna do now? Big Squeenix won’t like this.”
”It is a concern,” Pipimi nodded in agreement, before shooting Sora a glance.
”I uh… sorry,” He grinned nervously. “Didn’t mean to interrupt whatever this was. I can come back later, okay?”
”Ugh, the way he talks irritates me!” Popuko was suddenly boiling with rage, “Can we just kill him, Pipimi? He made me fall down!”
”…hm.” Pipimi stroked her chin. “That does tie up the loose ends.”
”Kill the intruder?!”
”Kill the intruder.” Pipimi repeated. She snapped her fingers and said, “take five, people.”
Suddenly, the sky and grassy hills behind the two girls wobbled and rolled up like a massive curtain, revealing the strangest looking people Sora had ever seen. Uniform black hair, straight laced, with suits, ties and coffee?
They looked thoroughly disinterested at the unfolding events before them.
”Who are they…?” Sora frowned.
”He doesn’t even know the directors,” Pipimi muttered to Popuko. “Love you, Aoki-san!”
She gave an air fist bump to the youngish bearded man in the front.
”I love you too, Pipimi-san!” He grinned back.
”And me…?” Popuko looked up hopefully.
”I find you endearing, Popuko-san.” This Aoki said.
”Yay…” Popuko smiled to herself, before pulling a sledgehammer out of nowhere. “KILL!”
Vacation or not, instinct kicked in, and Sora cartwheeled out of the way just in time for Popuko’s hammer to bury itself in the grass. He summoned his Keyblade, and had half a moment to prepare for the hammer clanging against it. The Keyblade held strong, but the vibrations were still rippling through Sora’s system for a good few seconds after the hit.
Popuko brought the hammer back and sprang away, not even out of breath. How could this tiny, four foot six girl swing a massive hammer about so easily?
There wasn’t much time for thinking though, as he had to dive out of the way yet again as the hammer thudded past.
Meanwhile this Pipimi just stood there calmly. Something he had to be grateful for; just one of them was enough. Bad guy logic said she was the stronger one though. Why else would she just be sitting back while Popuko did all the work?
He blocked another hit with his Keyblade, and felt the impact ripple through his body. If he was just going to dodge all the time, he’d achieve nothing. And worst of all, he wouldn’t get to dance with any Chocobos if he spent all the time fighting.
“Can we,” he ducked under the hammer, “please,” he jumped away out of range, “talk for a second!” He repelled what looked like a shoe with his Keyblade.
Popuko raised her hammer again, and Sora took his chance.
“Thunder!” He cried, and Popuko was surrounded by a barrage of lightning bolts. They went straight through the hammer and into her, and she was shocked repeatedly.
The lightning eventually dispersed, and Popuko was still standing, but fixed in place and greyed out like something from a cartoon.
”…you made my hair buns go funny.” She sobbed, dropping the hammer with a clang.
”I-I’m sorry, okay?” Sora clutched at his chest. His heart was still racing from it all. “But you wouldn’t listen, so I had to… wait, where’s the other one?”
Pipimi had disappeared, it seemed. Popuko continued to sob silently while Sora glanced around, only for her to be standing calmly right behind him.
”Oh, uh…” he stammered. “Listen, I uh-“
” You hurt my Popuko.” She shook her head slowly. Without so much as a stir, she created a sphere of pale blue energy, which grew larger and engulfed Sora’s body. Feet rooted to the spot, there was nothing he could do as it and the world around it faded into white…
The next thing Sora knew, his vision was flashing, and he was at the bottom of a crater.
”Ugh,” He groaned. “You didn’t have to do that…!”
Meanwhile the two girls were staring down at him from the rim of the crater, perfectly fine. Popuko was even in colour again.
”Are you upset?” She grinned.
”…a little,” he sniffled. “I just wanted to dance with some Chocobos on my vacation…”
”Hm. Is that all?” Pipimi put a hand to her chin. “Well, he’s been punished enough for now, wouldn’t you say Popuko?”
”Maybe more later?” Popuko hinted.
”Patience, patience,” Pipimi stroked her head. “But until then…”
Pipimi clapped her hands, and suddenly the field was back to normal again, complete with the Chocobos pecking around in it.
Pipimi offered Sora a hand up while Popuko just looked smug next to her.
Three teens between four Chocobos, the cheerful jingle started again, and Sora’s vacation could finally start.
Dancing and jumping around as if nothing at all had happened, he knew better than to question it.
He’d made some powerful acquaintances today. Why risk it?