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English
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Published:
2015-07-09
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871
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1/1
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Fear

Summary:

The scene where Tom shoots the overlord + the aftermath from Ben's point of view.

Work Text:

Dad will find me and save me; Dad will find me and save me Ben repeats to himself as he struggles against the force in his head.

That is what I am counting on.  He will save me because that is the only way to prevent me from killing you.

I wasn’t talking to you. Ben thinks.  He’s so tired of these creatures in his head.

Ben can hear footsteps heading towards them.  It only takes a second for Ben to identify them as Dad’s footsteps.

Comfort surges through both him and the overlord he’s connected to.  It’s so bizarre to be feeling the same thing as the asshole controlling him that he loathes.

It is because others would not value your life so highly.  We have noticed that many humans do not value the lives of our deharnessed slaves, but we know that your father values your life. 

Shut up!  I’m not your slave!

The light is blinding when Dad points his gun at him.  He’s just staring, unblinking, at the light because he can’t control any part of his body.

“Ben,” Tom says.  There’s just the sound of heavy breathing.  “What the hell are you doing down here?” 

Silence, and then Dad’s light turns from him to the overlord.

“Ben, disconnect and get out of here,” Dad says sternly.

Ben isn’t sure why Dad thinks he’d be able to do that.  Maybe it’s because of his whole rage thing. 

Maybe Ben should be able to rage himself free.

“Let him go right now,” Dad says.

“I am unarmed,” it uses Ben to say.

“Let him go, and then we'll all leave here peacefully,” Dad says. 

“You have become a savage killer.  Your son is my only leverage,” it uses Ben to say. 

It takes a second, but Ben realizes that the overlord is afraid.  Of his dad. 

“Oh, you don't have any leverage.  I could shoot you right now, and all Ben gets is a headache,” Dad says in a dangerously low voice, and Ben feels scared.  He feels scared of Dad.  “How does that feel... to be afraid?”

Not great.  Can you be afraid of your own fear?  Because Ben’s afraid of being afraid of Dad.  Dad’s the person who has always taken care of him, from when he was a baby to when they were thrust in the middle of a war.  How can Ben be afraid of Dad?  It’s Dad, the least scary, most comforting person that he’s ever known.

“I am not afraid of you,” it uses him to lie. 

Ben can feel its fear.  Beyond that, he can feel that it’s terrified of his Dad, which soothes Ben a little.

You are afraid as well.  You know that your father is a savage.  You know that he is violent and cruel.  You would be better off without him.

“Let him go,” Dad says.

You should listen to him.  He’s being serious.

I do not listen to inferior species.

“I am not afraid,” it uses him to lie again.

Suddenly, there are gunshots and screaming and Ben is on the floor and his whole head is on fire and god he wishes aliens would stop dying when they’re in his head because it makes him feel like he’s going to get sucked away with them.

“I'm not afraid, either,” Dad says calmly.

Ben scrambles to his feet and watches in confusion and horror as Dad empties his clip into the dead overlord.  It makes his pounding head even worse.

“Let's go,” Dad says, like nothing just happened. 

“Dad, can I have a second?” Ben says, doubled over.  His head is screaming and he can hear everyone screaming around him.  He’s pretty sure he can taste the overlord’s blood in his mouth.

“Ben, come on,” and it sounds like Dad is screaming at him, but Ben’s pretty sure it’s just his out of whack hearing. 

“I need to get control,” Ben says, “or I’m going to get us killed.  It’s not just a headache.”

Dad looks over at him, and Ben sees calculation.  He sees Dad assessing his capabilities and trying to determine whether he can move.

What he doesn’t see is compassion.  There’s just the barest hint of concern. 

Dad grabs him by the arm roughly and drags him along.  “You’re okay, Ben.  You’re okay.” At least there’s fear in his voice.

Since Dad is dragging him, Ben can focus on bringing his senses back in line instead of focusing on where he’s going. 


Later that night, Ben is keeping watch and contemplating the day.

Dad didn’t even flinch when the overlord was threatening his life, and Ben knows his Dad’s poker face.  That wasn’t it.

Maybe it’s a good thing that Dad isn’t afraid now, but Ben’s afraid, and not just of the world anymore, but of his dad, too.  There was a time when Dad would have been terrified by some overlord threatening his life, but apparently not anymore.  Dad hasn’t even come to check on him. 

Ben needs to talk to someone about what’s happening, but there’s no one anymore.  He’s scared for his dad and he’s scared for himself, but there’s no one for Ben to talk to.  He’s all alone.