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I have lots of friends. I have met sooo many people since I left home. I have seen so many sights and traveled over different continents. There have been so many nice people. And mean people. But my friends and make sure the mean people stop being mean.
I used to be quite lonely.
I mean. I didn't KNOW I was lonely. I grew up with my nana and she took such great care of me. She made sure I saw all of the postcards my parents sent me. They left when I was little and they never came back. But they would always write to me. But at some point I knew I needed to go out to find them. I was older and while I loved the life I had, there had to be more. So I left.
And when I made new friends, I finally realized something that something had been missing. Other people to spend time with! To have fun with. To go on adventures with.
I got to meet Dariax. He is so funny. He has traveled with other interesting people.
I met Opal. She was a bit like me. She wanted to go on her own adventures and try something new.
I met Fyra'Rai. She is strong and caring and her hair is made of fire.
But of everyone I met, Orym and Dorian are my best friends.
Orym is a little quiet. He tries to make me stop stealing things from people, but I see him smile when he thinks I don't notice. He also tries to protect me, even though he's half my size.
Dorian is also a bit like me. He never saw much of the world before he decided to leave and have adventures. He can also play music and tell stories and sing songs.
My friends are the best. I traveled with them all for a while. But unfortunately we had to separate. Fyra'Rai had to go help her sister. Opal also had something with her sister, but also had an evil crown. Dariax decided to help Opal.
But it's ok. While I miss them, I got to stay with Orym and Dorian. We went back to Orym's home and we met the leader of his clan. She was so pretty. She gave us all a mission. Well. She gave Orym a mission, and where Orym went, so did Dorian and I.
When it was the three of us, it was easier to sleep in one room, or one tent. At first we all kept to ourselves wherever we slept. But one night it was so cold we all cuddled up together and it was so nice.
When I was little, I used to sleep next to my nana. I think I might have done that with my parents, but that was so long ago, I cant remember.
But when I woke up that morning, Orym was still fast asleep. He NEVER sleeps in. He is always last alseep and first awake. He doesn't sleep very soundly. I notice these things. He sometimes makes us think he's sleeping, but he isn't. The morning after he slept between me and Dorian, he was like a little baby. I almost didn't want to wake him!
From then on, we all slept in the same bed. It was just nicer for all of us.
~~
I think my favorite experience has been flying in an airship! Flying so high above the ground has been like living in a dream. I could spend hours hanging onto the side watching the ground trail beneath us. Dorian strumming on his lute, and Orym practicing his swordmanship. I could almost think we were a happy family going on vacation. Just me and my two best friends.
We took the airship to Jrusar. It is sooo different from anywhere I had been before! Its a city built on spires coming out of the ground!
But the most amazing thing about Jrusar is I met new friends there.
There is Imogen. She has purple hair and can read minds and create Lightning.
There is Laudna. She is scary but fun! She has a little rat friend called Pate!
There is Ashton. They are big and think they're so mean, but I think he cares about us a lot.
There is Fresh Cut Grass. He's an automaton! They have a wheel and roll around helping us! He cares about our feelings.
And there's Chetney! He's an old little gnome. He can turn into a werewolf!
They are all nice friends to have. They all have hardships. But I think everyone does. Orym and Dorian certainly do. I suppose I do as well.
~~
I notice Orym looking at Dorian a lot.
I mean, we all look at each other a lot. I look at both of them a lot, because they are my best friends. And sometimes they were all i had to look at.
But Orym looks at Dorian when Dorian isn't doing or saying much. Dorian will be tuning his lute, and Orym will glance at him a lot. Or we will be walking and Orym will look to him and then look quickly away.
Orym might like Dorian more than me. Or maybe... Orym likes Dorian DIFFERENTLY than he likes me. That has to be it.
I know Orym had a husband. But he's gone now. Orym still gets sad about it. I suppose I haven't loved someone the way Orym loved his husband.
Orym might love Dorian. He definitely loves Dorian like he loves all his friends. But I think he loves Dorian almost like he loved his husband.
I don't think Dorian notices. Its a little sad. I wish I could help in some way, but I don't think Orym would like me meddling. Which is unfortunate, because I love to meddle.
Also I think if I hinted to Dorian about Orym's feelings, either Dorian wouldn't get it, or would get really embarrassed about it and not be cool or suave. He's a little obtuse when it comes to people being interested in him.
When Dorian had to leave, I think it made Orym really sad. I do see sometimes Orym looking at the Sending Stone that connects to Dorian. He doesn't message him everyday. I would if I were holding it. If I could send magical messages, I would send as many as I could to Dorian! I miss him a lot. When I see Orym whisper into the stone, it makes me happy.
If only Dorian didn't have to leave. I think we would all be a little happier.
Well, maybe not Chetney.
~~
Orym is the one person who truly gives me comfort after meeting my parents.
Imogen and FCG helped me talk out my feelings about being left behind by my parents. And learning that Nana isn't MY nana. And she might have been keeping me as part of a bargain.
But cuddling up with Orym that night really helps me. Because he is still here with me. He is like... he is almost like my family. I think he will always be there for me. He holds me hand and says such comforting words. And sometimes he's quiet and I don't feel like I need to say anything at all. Because he will be there for me. He is truly my best friend here. I love them all, but they aren't Orym.
~~
I don't know what I would do without Orym. The world feels small and dark without him. His small body in my lap... his face gentle like he's sleeping. But unlike every time I have watched him sleep, there isn't his steady breath. No little twitch of his nose as I move around. When I touch his face, he doesn't move. He is cold... getting colder. My heart is shattered, it has been for a long time, but there is no way to hold the pieces together without him.
We need him around. I need him around. He is the one thing I have that truly matters to me. He can't leave me. I will do anything -anything- in my power to keep him here. Because there isn't a world with me that doesn't have him. I cannot have him here in my arms, broken and empty. I need his strength and his calm. I need his acceptance and care. So I whisper those feelings to him as I hold him close. Feeling power from the earth come through me and into him. My tears dripping down onto his muddied face.
"H-hey, Fearnie."
There are so many tears I can barely see him. But hearing his voice makes everything ok.
"Hey, best friend."
Yeah. I have lots of friends. But I also have Orym. And he is my family.