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I have always been a withdrawn person.
With few friends, and few secrets. Of which only my mother has any idea.
I'll introduce myself. I am Ogou Mayuka. A nineteen-year-old stressed-out student. Last year I moved here to Tokyo, to finally study medicine, as I wanted all my life.
Bullshit. I actually decided two years ago, after watching Grey's Anatomy for the first time.
At first, it was hard to adjust, until I met my roommate, Miihi, the campus social butterfly. She is from Osaka, just like me, and her humor, is similar to mine. So, since we met last spring, we've been getting along well.
Since she knows that I am quite shy around strangers, she always introduced me to all her friends. Like Nina Hillman, the exchange student, Arai Ayaka, the gifted beauty, or Hanabashi Rio, a very funny senpai.
She even tried to set me up on a few blind dates, which didn't end very well because of my lack of conversation topics. And, the truth is, several cute guys confessed to me, but, none of them caught my attention. Until, Miihi introduced me to someone again.
Unfortunately, it wasn't for a date.
Miihi came to the room one day, with some heavy books, accompanied by a blonde girl with pretty eyes.
"Hi Mayu-chan!" She smiled at me, when I opened the door. Just up, on a Saturday morning at nine o'clock. "This is Oe Riku-senpai. She came to help me with my anatomy exam."
"It's a pleasure." She smiled at me for the first time, and I almost died of embarrassment.
The angel was looking me in the eye, while I was makeup-free and in my pajamas. I had never felt such a strong attraction to someone since I was fifteen, and first saw Lisa from Blackpink on Twitter.
"Nice to meet you, Riku-senpai." I bowed, trying to escape my blush.
"Oh, and she's from Kansai like us! So you're going to get along super well!" Miihi exclaimed, excitedly, as the two of them entered our dorm.
As soon as I heard her accent, in that one sentence she said, it hit me. It was obvious that she was from Kansai. And that made her even more attractive. Plus, she was wearing a black hoodie and baggy pants, clear glasses, and her hair looked impeccable.
And I looked like a beggar.
The first thing I did was to change in the bathroom, because of the unexpected visit. When I came out, Riku was already in tutor mode, teaching Miihi with her book everything about anatomy in the simplest way in the world. Even I learned. And I passed that exam months ago.
Between breaks, the three of us had conversations. Riku was a year older than me. And I've always preferred girls older than me, so she was definitely my ideal girl.
She would tell jokes every now and then to cut through the awkwardness, and I would giggle like I was a teenager.
Miihi was looking at me suspiciously, even though I just met this girl.
I tried to stop thinking about her, but then I started running into her at the Starbucks on campus, and she started throwing conversations of all kinds and colors at me. She seemed to want to get to know me, and I just froze when I saw her.
It seemed like when she spoke, her lips just moved, and everything was in slow motion.
"Ah, do you like Blackpink?" she said to me one day, while we were waiting for our drinks. She probably saw the Lisa pin I have in my backpack. "Me too! I love Jisoo."
With these conversation starters, it was hard for me to respond at first, but then we started seeing each other every day at eight in the morning at the same place, and it was inevitable for me to talk to her
"Professor Park is the worst..."
"Are you going to Ayaka's party this weekend?"
"I like the cap you're wearing! Where did you buy it?"
She always initiated conversations, in the most extroverted way possible. And me, I had already more than fallen for her charms. Her voice was so loud, I could hear it from far away, and it was unmistakable.
One day, I arrived at the café at ten past eight, because I had overslept. She was at one of the small tables. On the table, there were two drinks.
When she saw me from afar, she waved her hand at me, and motioned me as if to come closer.
"Mayuka-san." She smiled at me, "Sit down. I already ordered you your Caramel Machiatto with almond milk."
My heart exploded, she had remembered my order! Well, it had been two weeks since we had been in the same place, so it made sense. But, she had remembered!
"Senpai." This time, I blushed, unable to help myself. "Thanks...but it wasn't necessary."
"You can buy me one next time."
At this rate, I was already dead.
That night, when Miihi was sleeping, I called my mom and told her about the event.
"And...you didn't ask her for her number?" she asked me. Obviously I refused.
"Oh, Mayu-chan. Don't let the train go. This senpai is probably interested in you."
Interested in me? No... she was just being nice.
"I'll do my best, Mom." I told her, without much encouragement. Knowing that my shyness wasn't going to get me anywhere.
Now not only would I run into her at the café, but also when I was leaving my neuroscience classes. She would come out of the classroom next door, and give me a smile.
"Good afternoon, Mayuka-san."
"Good afternoon, senpai."
That's how systematic we were, without taking any steps.
Miihi realized that something was going on between me and Riku-senpai. Or rather, that I was interested in her.
So, one afternoon she asked Riku to help her with some tests. All of a sudden she left, and left the two of us locked in the room.
"I can't believe it...I'm going to kill her!" I said, as soon as I realized she had left us locked in.
"Don't worry, she'll be back." She played it down. "Is it so bad to spend time alone with me?"
Was she flirting?
"N-no...it's not bad...it's just, I'm claustrophobic!" I lied to her.
"Oh..then, I'll call her right away. Breathe, okay?"
She was so thoughtful, funny, spontaneous, smart. And I was, Mayuka.
"Clautrophobic! Like hell!" As soon as Miihi arrived, she scolded me, after Riku left. "This place is huge, Mayuka. You already scared her away, now there's no way she'll ever be interested in you again."
"Interested in me? Why would such a cool senpai be?"
"Because you're Ogou Mayuka! So pretty and kind that you charm everyone!"
"Miihi, I'm the definition of awkward."
"Well, but you can tell that pleases Riku-senpai. Or pleased her, because you just missed your chance."
And worst of all, Miihi was right. I didn't ask for her number in time, and I started seeing less of her. And when I did see her, she no longer spoke to me so effusively.
Well done, Mayuchi! You really scared the beautiful girl away.
"Honey, I don't know what to tell you." My mother sighed, over video call. "If you keep keeping your feelings to yourself like this, I don't know how you're going to live your life."
After she said that powerful phrase to me, my brain began to regret not taking more chances.
So, the next day, I arrived at the Starbucks earlier, and waited for Riku. With her frappuccino venti in one of my hands.
"I owed you one."
"Thanks." This time, she smiled at me like before the claustrophobia incident.
"I'd like to...talk to you today. When are you free?"
"I'm back in my dorm room at about three o'clock. It's door twenty-six, one floor down from yours."
"Perfect."
Now there was no turning back. I was going to confess to her how I felt, straight out. It had been a month since that first attraction, and I couldn't die without knowing her answer.
"Senpai. Hello..." I said, as she welcomed me into her mini home.
"Hi. Come in. My roommate isn't here, so make yourself comfortable."
I sat down on one of the two beds, and she sat next to me, waiting for me to talk.
I had missed one of my classes for this.
"Senpai...I..." I took a breath, and looked into her eyes. "I like you. I've had a crush on you since last month. But, I'm a mess and I haven't even asked for your number."
She laughed softly at this sudden confession, and tried to speak, but I cut her off.
"You don't have to like me back, you know? I just wanted to let you know how I felt, that's all."
"Well, too bad! Because these feelings are mutual, and now you can't get rid of me."
"Really? So...does that mean I can have your number?" I was shocked. From that moment on, I promised myself to always listen to Miihi and my mom.
"You're so cute, Mayuka." She laughed. "Oh, wait."
"What?"
"You have something on your lips." She said, feigning concern.
"Wha..."
She planted a soft kiss on my lips, which caught me off guard. It was sweet, and even addictive.
"Now you are. Give me your phone."
She added herself as, "MY KUTIE 💛" And I couldn't help but laugh. I played along, and saved myself on her phone as "GIRLFRIEND 💚" To which she blushed.
I tried to kiss her again, but she pulled away.
"Aren't you going to ask me for a date first?" she joked.
"Oe Riku, do you want to go out with me?"