Work Text:
“Have you ever loved somebody so much that no matter what they do to you, you still find yourself willfully going back to them?”
Pandora looks up from her lap, dropping her knitting needles down carefully, laying the project she’s working on down in a way that won’t unravel. She watches Mary shut the door behind her before dropping to the floor and untying her shoelaces, placing them in the corner, and Pandora can’t help but watch her deft fingers fly over the strings.
“No,” she lies, clearing her throat as Mary walks over to where she is, sitting on the floor beside her, and Pandora feels the need to hold her breath for some reason. “I like to think I have some sense of self-worth,” Pandora adds, smirking lightly at Mary, who scowls at her in response before reaching over and smacking the back of her head.
Pandora lets out a laugh, rolling her eyes before picking up her needles again, along with the project she’s working on, and she feels Mary moving closer to her. “I just wish people didn’t suck so much,” she mumbles, resting her chin on Pandora’s shoulder and oh , Pandora thinks she’s going to pass out.
“You need to date better people, babe,” Pandora tells her lightheartedly, and Mary groans in annoyance, pinching Pandora on the side, causing her to squeal and shove Mary lightly. “What? I’m just saying, Mare. I’ve known you like, what? My entire life at this point? And I’ve never once seen you date somebody who genuinely treats you the way you deserve.”
Mary falls silent, and Pandora doesn’t look up, knowing that she probably needs a moment to process what Pandora just told her because Mary’s just like that. She does that sometimes – or all the time, rather. She’ll think and think until all of her thoughts are jumbled and mushed together and she can’t make sense of them anymore, but Pandora always told Mary that she’d be there to help her sort her thoughts out at any moment in time.
This was no different. Pandora would listen to Mary even if she was on her last breath.
“What do I deserve, though?” Mary asks, her voice soft and quiet and it sends a chill down Pandora’s spine, her breath stopping short in her throat and she turns her head to look at Mary with furrowed eyebrows. Before she has a chance to ask, Mary continues talking.
“It’s like,” Mary takes a breath, and Pandora doesn’t waste another minute before wrapping an arm around Mary and burying one of her hands in Mary’s hair, gently separating her curls with her own fingers. “You know when you have a cardigan that you don’t wear anymore? Like, an old ratty cardigan that has yarn falling out of it and fuzz all over and it’s kind of itchy?”
Pandora chuckles under her breath, humming. “I guess so. That’s more of a Remus question, though. They wear the same cardigan almost everyday,” she points out, and Mary snorts at the statement.
“I feel like Remus’ old cardigan.”
“But it’s a cute cardigan. I like their cardigan,” Pandora says, resting her chin on top of Mary’s head and shutting her eyes. “It’s a pretty cardigan, even if it’s old and ripped up. It gives it character, you know?”
Mary shrugs at that, and Pandora feels her heart squeezing in her chest because she knows that they’re not talking about a cardigan at this point.
“But people don’t like wearing old, ripped up cardigans, Dora,” Mary points out, and Pandora squeezes her eyes shut tightly, holding Mary even tighter than before. “It’s like, once I’m not exciting anymore and once the thrill is gone, the person is gone too and I just – why is it not enough for anybody?”
And Pandora wants to scream. She wants to shout, she wants to grab Mary by the shoulders and yell you’re enough for me and you always have been , but that’s not how to go about this situation because despite her feelings for Mary, this is her best fucking friend who thinks she isn’t good enough for anybody when she is more than good enough.
“Mary Macdonald,” Pandora whispers, pressing her lips into Mary’s hair. “You are more than enough, darling. You’re beautiful, intelligent, bubbly, funny, and so, so caring and selfless and you put yourself before everybody. I don’t think you realize how much love you deserve, darling. You deserve every bit of love that this world has to offer, and I’ll tell you that every single day if I have to, Mare.”
“I know you feel old and tattered and uninteresting, but you’re my favorite and you’re always exciting and interesting to me, Mary. Always.”