Work Text:
hikaru sat down in the chair in the back corner of the library, a book held tightly against her chest as she took a deep breath. she had spent the whole day walking around the city learning where everything was and she was exhausted. the move wasn’t her choice, the illustration company she worked for moved offices and as their best illustrator they begged her to move alongside it. the plus side was that they agreed to find her the house and pay her more to cover the extra rent cost than her old home. with it being a major city she was thankful for that. even being relatively well paid, she still wouldn’t have been able to afford it.
she smiled as she read the blurb of the book in her hands. the design of the cover really drew her into it, making the plot completely irrelevant anyway. she would happily read a terrible book if it had a pretty cover. as she read through the opening chapters she was distracted by some noise on the other side of the room. her head shot up, frustration taking over at being interrupted. her first instinct was to confront the person for being loud in a designated quiet place, but as soon as she saw the person’s face all the colour drained from her face. was it who she thought it was? surely not.
deciding to ignore it, she shook her head and went back to reading the book. it probably wasn’t who she thought it was anyway. the more she read of the book the more she loved it. feeling inspired, she took her notebook out of her bag and began to draw how she envisioned the characters. a smile took over her face as she added the extra details. it would definitely be a drawing to add to her portfolio. being so interested in her drawing, she didn’t notice the figure that was now stood behind her chair, watching her. she immediately left the library after finishing the drawing, not taking the time to look behind her at the now disappointed person that remained.
the next day she decided to do her work in a cute cafe she had found. she bought her coffee before she sat down, not wanting to risk her laptop being left out for anyone to steal. hikaru had chosen the right time to go in with there only being a few other people scattered around the tables, each doing their own things. as she was people watching for inspiration she noticed someone sat in the corner of the room reading a book. she couldn’t see the woman’s face as it was covered by the book, but she noticed that the book was the one she had been reading in the library the day prior. she smiled to herself at the sight, always one to appreciate when others like the same things that she does.
her latest project was illustrating a book cover for one of her clients about falling in love through reading. she decided to use the woman in front of her as inspiration for her illustration, starting off by sketching what she could see. if anyone saw her staring at a random woman they would probably be concerned, but it was all part of her art. the more she looked at the woman the more she felt connected to her. even without seeing her face. the way her hair beautifully fell past the cover, covering a part of it as she looked down over it really caught hikaru’s eye as she continued on with her work.
something about hikaru’s sketch began to feel familiar. as she continued to add the details to the hair and the hands there was something inside of her telling her she had drawn those exact details before. it was weirdly nostalgic. clicking off her current work and scrolling back through her old work it hit her. perhaps the woman was who she thought it was. the idea of her moving to a complete new city and seeing her again made her feel sick. she hoped she would never see that woman again in her life. not after how much she had broken hikaru’s heart.
clearing her throat, hikaru closed her laptop and put it back into her bag. she wasn’t dealing with those emotions anymore. she smiled politely at the man behind the counter as she walked out, quickening her pace once she had made it out of the cafe. “i guess i’m working from home today,” she mumbled to herself as she continued the short walk back to her house. the more she thought about the situation the more anger she felt. why did she have to be reminded of such a painful past? as soon as she got home she deleted her illustration. she didn’t think the woman deserved such beautiful art to be created of her.
memories began to flood back. every moment she had spent beside her former beloved. every drawing that had been created from pure inspiration, admiration, and love. she wanted to get angry and destroy the world around her, but in reality all she could do was sit there and cry. there wasn’t even anywhere she could go. she hadn’t made any friends yet and the old men at her workplace wouldn’t be the best people to pour her emotions out to. a part of her considered calling an old friend about the situation, but she had already burdened those with the pain her ex-girlfriend left her with too many times.
the next day hikaru woke up feeling better. all she had to do was avoid the library and that particular cafe. that wouldn’t be too much of a hassle, there were multiple other cafes and a couple of bookstores she could go to instead. she was thankful that it was a day that she was asked to work in the office to be able to attend meetings with various clients throughout the day. the chances of her seeing her ex in her workplace were little to none. packing up her laptop into her bag she made sure to put some snacks in there too as motivation. working in an office wasn’t quite for her, meaning she needed to reward herself to be able to get anything done.
she happily called out a “good morning,” as she walked into the room, surprising the coworkers around her. “you’re never usually this happy in the mornings,” her boss noted, eyebrows scrunched as he looked at hikaru. she only replied with a shrug as she took her place at her desk in the corner with her nameplate on it. the snacks were definitely needed for motivation. every chance she got she ended up looking out the window to take in the new view. it was only other buildings, but it was enough of a distraction to take hikaru away from her work. at least she didn’t need to work extremely hard until after the meetings.
her first meeting of the day was with the client who asked for the romance cover. once she had shown her sketch she had quickly drawn up that morning, the client seemed happy with the work. with enough focus she could get the full illustration complete before the end of the day, a week before the deadline. hikaru stayed put in her seat between the first meeting and the second, deciding to scroll through social media to give her brain a break. hearing footsteps enter the room she hurriedly put her phone into her pocket. she didn’t look up straight away, embarrassed to be caught on her phone.
“h-hiichan?” that voice. that nickname. hikaru mentally cursed the world for the trail of events that lead to that moment. just as she thought she could avoid her for a day. she slowly looked up, a forced smile evident on her face. “fancy seeing you here,” she remarked, a failed attempt to hide her bitterness. her boss looked at hikaru questioningly but decided not to get involved. he’d never seen hikaru speak like that before. “i’m tamura hono, i look forward to our meeting today,” the woman introduced, bowing at hikaru and her boss. the tension in the room could be cut with a knife as hono sat down opposite hikaru ready for the meeting.
hikaru’s boss ended up taking the lead for the meeting, asking hono questions about what the illustration would be for and any extra details hikaru would need to know while creating the work. it was through this that hikaru learned hono was planning on writing a volleyball manga. just the word volleyball brought back more of hikaru’s memories and pain. the reason she was depressed for months. “how much are you willing to pay?” hikaru asked, making eye contact with hono for the first time in over a year. “as much as you want.”
it was hard for hikaru to say no to that. she was hoping hono would offer a low enough number for her to be able to say no, or that hono would say she could go somewhere else if hikaru expected her to pay too much. as much as she wanted to offer hono such a high number that she would have to go to someone else, alongside the painful memories were happy ones. the feelings of admiration and love. that inspiration to create something beautiful. her brain was still bitter, but her heart couldn’t bear to disappoint hono. not when she was looking at hikaru so softly, almost pleading for her to cooperate with her.
“okay, i’ll do it.”
the confirmation was all it took for hikaru to see hono’s bright smile that used to be her reason for wanting to live. the bittersweet feeling in her heart didn’t go unnoticed, with hono herself being the one to look concerned. “when you’re done for the day do you want to talk things through? i know you’ll be professional with your work, but i don’t want any bad feelings lingering,” she sighed. hono knew that she wasn’t someone hikaru would want to see, she had been mentally destroying herself over it for the entire time they hadn’t spoken, but she had been waiting for the day she could see hikaru again and make things right.
with a small nod from hikaru, hono was satisfied. following a smile directed at hikaru’s boss hono walked out of the room, leaving hikaru and her boss alone. “that fucking dimple,” hikaru hissed as she let her head fall into her hands. she had pictured seeing hono again many times, but she never expected it to actually happen. every time she had thought about it she would get too overwhelmed and have to take her mind away from it. the emotions she knew she would experience were stronger in the actual situation than she could’ve ever imagined. it was as if their breakup was only the day before as opposed to the actual year and a half.
all of hikaru’s motivation for the day left her in an instant. she felt sick to her stomach as she thought about meeting up with hono alone. the butterflies she had forgotten the feeling of mixed terribly with the painful memories of the reality of the last time she was with hono alone, only adding to the other stresses that were piling up in her mind. at least she had a week before her other deadline. “you can take the rest of today off. i can tell this is a lot for you right now,” her boss sympathised as he walked up to hikaru and placed his hand on her shoulder. hikaru had always been his favourite employee, her being more like a daughter to him than an employee.
she didn’t need anything else after that. after packing up her laptop and the remaining snacks into her bag, she made her way home. the first thing she did was walk over to her wardrobe to find something to wear. even after all the time that had passed, she couldn’t shake the need to look good in front of hono. it was a habit that naturally formed when they started dating but it was never dropped. not completely because hikaru loved the look of awe in hono’s eyes, although that was a plus, but because hikaru knew her fate. she knew that if she didn’t try her hardest to look perfect that volleyball would become hono’s priority.
it was somehow funny to hikaru. even though hono had declared volleyball her only ambition in life all that time ago as the only thing she had the time to care about, hikaru still held onto some hope. hope that hono would decide one of two things. either that she was content with where she was in her volleyball career and could give hikaru time, or that losing hikaru wasn’t worth it. however, that was all under the assumption that hono hadn’t moved on. hikaru had no proof either way. she was once again in a battle between her head and her heart. picking one would prove impossible, both having their rational and irrational reasonings.
“why did you choose here?” hikaru questioned, sitting down next to hono on one of the many seats scattered around the library. “i know this won’t be the most comfortable conversation for either of us so i figured here we could pick up a book to read if we need a break.” this caring and sympathetic reasoning struck hikaru’s heart in all the ways she didn’t want it to. if hono really had moved on, she wasn’t doing a good job at helping hikaru along her own journey to getting over everything. silence surrounded the two of them with hikaru looking anywhere but at hono and hono solely looking at hikaru.
hikaru could feel the eyes on her, but that made her want to avoid looking at hono even more. she wasn’t sure she could trust herself to make eye contact with her. “i’ll start by apologising…” hono began, noticing the way hikaru flinched slightly at the sound of her voice. “the way i ended things wasn’t ideal. i should’ve communicated the way i was feeling with you better but every time i went to i saw the look in your eyes and i just couldn’t do it. it broke my heart just as much as i’m sure it broke yours. i can’t even put into words how sorry i am for doing that to you. you deserve so much better and you always have. no matter my feelings seeing you again, wanting to apologise and give you closure was the most important to me.”
a single tear fell down hikaru’s cheek. she tried to wipe it away quickly, but the sigh from hono proved that she wasn’t quick enough. it had already been seen. “why?” hikaru whispered, barely audible to hono despite her being sat right next to her. “why did you leave me just like that with no warning? it’s all i’ve been able to think about you know? i moved here with the hopes that i could finally stop seeing things that reminded me of you, but instead all i see is you. at this library, in the cafe, at my work. i’ve spent so much time trying to get over you just for my one chance to be completely ruined,” she sobbed as her hands formed fists at her sides. she couldn’t help but let everything out.
hono tried to speak, but her words got caught at her throat. no matter how much she tried she just couldn’t say anything. with a scoff, hikaru stood up from the chair and began to walk out of the library. as soon as she had made it out of the door she felt a hand gently wrap around her wrist. “don’t go,” hono mumbled, her grip on hikaru’s wrist tightening slightly. it was still weak enough that hikaru could pull her arm away, but she didn’t. instead they both stood there in the middle of the pavement with tears in their eyes and pain in their hearts. “that’s hypocritical,” hikaru snapped. she wanted so badly to pull away from hono and sprint off, but with hono in such close proximity she couldn’t hide her happiness alongside hearing those words from her. the tears still streaming down her face were bittersweet.
“i’m not going anywhere. not anymore. i promise.”
giving in, hikaru led hono to the rooftop of her house, a place where she had gained a habit of sitting and watching the stars. she took a blanket and some snacks up with them to make it more comfortable. “it’s really becoming winter, huh. it’s already getting dark,” hikaru remarked as she curled herself up into a ball. a blush spread across her cheeks hearing hono chuckle. it sounded so soft. hono contemplated opening up to hikaru about something, but she didn’t know if it would be too soon for them to go back to talking about their worries. she didn’t want to make hikaru uncomfortable.
it seemed like hikaru could read her mind with the way she turned to look at hono, almost as if she was prompting her to say something. “i won’t be participating in this volleyball season,” hono blurted out. hikaru couldn’t stop the shock that appeared on her face. as much as it was something that had hurt her, she couldn’t picture hono doing anything but volleyball. “i’m not improving as much as i want to. i feel like i’m stagnating. my coach has tried to be comforting, but i can tell it’s getting harder for her to make me a starter with the younger more talented girls coming up into the club. i hadn’t actually made my decision until i saw you yesterday. it reminded me of all the experiences and people that i lost out on because i was too focused on volleyball. i can’t do it anymore.”
the way hikaru moved closer to her and put her head on her shoulder both comforted and broke hono. every time she turned down a date night to practice, every art exhibition she hadn’t attended because she wanted to watch other teams play to learn strategy, and every conversation she had turned into one about volleyball instead of what hikaru wanted to talk about flashed in front of her eyes. what had she done? she knew she didn’t deserve to have hikaru snuggled up next to her while looking at the beautiful sunset in front of them. “you’ll find other things you enjoy just as much. give yourself a nice break first though,” hikaru smiled, hand reaching to hold onto hono’s.
hikaru didn’t want to give in to hono so easily given the situation, but hearing her be so vulnerable diminished every negative emotion she had inside of her. she knew she wanted to be there for hono. she deemed trusting her safe enough for the moment. hono sighed as she leant her head against hikaru’s. she squeezed hikaru’s hand three times, something they used to do. hikaru immediately moved away from hono and stared at her in awe. “did you mean to do that?” she questioned, looking right into hono’s eyes. a shy nod from hono confirmed it, making hikaru’s heart feel like it was about to explode. “y-you…” she stuttered, unable to form the words. hono nodded once again with a smile. “i love you.”
“i love you too, but like… what? why now? what? you do? even now?” hikaru rambled. mere hours ago she was angry and upset with hono for everything that had happened and now they were declaring their love for each other? she couldn’t maintain her composure at all. “i always have done. i spent our whole time away from each other wanting to reach out to you, but i knew i didn’t deserve that. i guess i just did that out of habit, but i do mean it.” without another word, hikaru moved so that she was sat on top of hono’s lap facing her. one look at hono’s eyes turned to looking at her lips. they were so close. so close that hikaru was sure hono would be able to hear how fast her heart was beating.
hikaru watched as hono’s eyes slowly closed in anticipation. smiling, she closed the gap and kissed hono. the feeling was so familiar yet so new. it had been too long since she last got to do that. ignoring the urge to carry it on forever, she moved away after a few seconds and leant her forehead against hono’s. “wow,” hono mumbled as she opened her eyes and looked into hikaru’s. everything about the moment felt so intimate and special. “be my girlfriend again,” hikaru whispered, allowing her lips to linger right in front of hono’s. before replying, hono took the chance to kiss hikaru again. this time was more passionate, with hono trying to convey all of her emotions in the only way she could think how. “happily.”
the worries that remained inside hikaru lessened as the days went by. hono was spending almost every day at her house with the two of them watching movies and catching up on their lives since they were no longer together. it was surprising to hikaru just how motivated she was to work while she had hono by her side. aside from the book cover she was illustrating, she also had a lot of hono’s ideas for her manga illustrated and perfected. it was hard for it to feel like work while she was being fed squares of chocolate and being given the most satisfying shoulder massages though. going to bed with hono every night felt like everything hikaru had dreamed of, except this time it was real and without the stresses that used to be plaguing her mind when her and hono were dating before.
by the time it had gotten to a month of the two dating again, hono had already moved all of her things into hikaru’s house and had found a job coaching a volleyball club for middle school kids. she only had to go three times a week so it gave her plenty of chances to spend time with hikaru and for them to go on cute date nights, the majority of which ending with a picnic on the rooftop watching the sunset and talking about the beauty of the stars. neither hikaru nor hono had felt so happy and content. it got to a point where hikaru considered all the pain she went through worth it. everything that had happened led her to those moments of bliss with hono that she wouldn’t trade for the world.
“meet me on the rooftop tonight,” hono murmured as she laid across the sofa, her head resting itself on hikaru’s chest. “that sounds suspicious. you’re not going to throw me off to take my money and my house are you?” hikaru joked as she instinctively began running her hand through hono’s hair. hono didn’t respond in words, instead shaking her head and pouting at hikaru. the conversation ended with hikaru laughing at hono and agreeing to meet her there. she did wonder what hono was planning. it was two months since they started dating again so she assumed hono was planning a more fancy picnic than the usual. maybe she would get some expensive food delivered. that thought immediately made hikaru hungry.
after being on the rooftop for some time, hono came back down to hikaru who was humming along to her playlist while she worked. as soon as hikaru looked at hono she saw how much she was shaking. “if it’s cold up there put a coat on,” she suggested under the assumption that’s why hono was shaking. hono shook her head at hikaru and reached her arm out for hikaru to hold. interlocking their fingers, hikaru placed her head onto hono’s shoulder as they made their way to the ladder leading to the rooftop. hono went first due to wanting to see hikaru’s reaction when she saw what had been set up.
hikaru smiled widely seeing the picnic blanket out with fairy lights around it and her favourite food placed into the middle. she went to sit down, but hono stopped her before she could. “hold on, i want to say something first…” hono sighed, wiping her forehead with the sleeve of her hoodie. hikaru looked questioningly at her, not understanding what was going on. once hono pulled a small box out of her pocket and crouched down onto one knee it all hit her. that’s what was happening. that was the big surprise hono had planned. hikaru already felt the emotions building up inside of her. she wasn’t prepared for this at all. she could sense how nervous hono was from the many deep breaths she was taking to try and calm herself down. no wonder she had been shaking.
“it’s been two months and i already know everything i need to. this was something i considered all that time ago, but i was too selfish to put it into action. enough of the past though. hiichan, you are someone i treasure more than anything in the world. no words can describe just how much you mean to me or how happy you make me. you somehow make me glad to mess up because it means i get to see you laughing with all your heart. everything i love about you has only become stronger this second time around. all of this to say you make my life what it is. being away from you really proved that to me. i didn’t plan to do this so soon, but if you consider the two years we spent together before it makes perfect sense. i promise that this time around you will have my full undivided attention. forever. morita hikaru, will you marry me?”
there was more hono wanted to say, but she didn’t want to take too long getting to the point. she could spill out the rest of her feelings later on in the evening. “of course i will,” hikaru smiled before jumping into hono’s arms. hono took that chance to spin hikaru around, causing an outbreak of laughter. gently placing her back down, hono put the ring on hikaru’s finger and kissed it. her own way of adding to her promise and showing hikaru just how much she meant to her. “i never thought this moment would come,” hikaru smiled as she sat down on hono’s lap facing the sky in front of them. the way hono’s arms strongly wrapped around her only added to all the feelings she was experiencing at once.
hono sighed in relief before gently kissing hikaru on the shoulder. “i would be the biggest idiot in the world to let you go again. you are never leaving my arms for the rest of our lives. i’ll even follow you to work just to hold you,” she mumbled, laughing as she said the last part. hearing hikaru laugh along only added to the warmth encapsulating her heart. “if you ever let me go i’ll be mad now you’ve said that,” hikaru joked, looking over her shoulder at hono who was now leaning on it. a kiss on hono’s forehead later hikaru went back to admiring the stars. they looked more beautiful than they ever had done before. she finally regained her happiness and more.