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Sweat dripped down his neck. His heart pulsing in his ears.
It was just him and the enemy. Tonight, he was fighting the Krang. That’s what he told himself as he dodged and parried attack after attack from the wooden dummy in the training room.
Mystic powers were cool and all, but if there was he had learned on that terrifying day, it was that he couldn’t rely on them like he used to. He had to be prepared for anything.
It didn’t matter that his shell still ached and his he was gasping for breath from the twinge in his ribs. It didn’t matter that Donnie was probably right about his ankle being sprained and Mikey had asked him if he had slept at all last night. It didn’t matter that Raph was trying to talk to him for days now about what had happened and Leo was refusing to talk to him. He needed to do this. He needed to be prepared for the worst.
This was good training. He’s gone into fights feeling worse. This was he’d be prepared for anything.
Because in the back of his mind, he knew that the key hadn’t been destroyed yet. It was only a matter of time. It was only a matter of time.
He slashed the odachis against the wooden dummy and retreated. He needed a break. Leo from two weeks ago would take a break. But he wasn’t the same turtle anymore. So he kept going.
“Do you need a partner?”
Leo whipped his head around. He would not admit to being startled by Splinter because he was a ninja and ninjas knew when someone was sneaking up on them.
“Sure. If you think you can keep up,” he grinned.
Splinter gained a mischievous look to his face. “You’re not the only one who helped defeat the Krang. You shouldn’t let your victories blindside you to your weaknesses, you know.”
Splinter charged, and Leo blocked, even managing to narrowly dodge his tail. He aimed for Splinter. Splinter ducked and landed a blow to his ankles. In an instant, Leo was on the floor and disarmed. The business-end of his own odachi pointed towards his throat.
“You’re sloppy.” Splinter drew the swords back. “Your stance is too tight. Your defense is weak and your offense is too slow. You are clearly tired and favoring your side. You are in no fighting shape.”
“Yeah? Why do you care?” Leo scoffed, anger spiking through him. He shot up from the ground. He didn’t let Splinter come in here to make him feel weak.
“I care because you are my son and you need to be resting right now. You are exhausted, Leo.”
Splinter stepped forward, offering Leo his odachis. Leo accepted them, but moved away.
“I’m not weak.” He felt it though. How could he not when every part of him was aching? When his hands were trembling? When every day since the Krang showed up he has wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear?
He was a failure. He had no control.
“No, you are not. But you have just been through an ordeal, and you need time to heal.”
“I don’t have time!” He shouted. “You don’t know what could happen next! Any day we could wake up and the key could be stolen and there would be nothing any of us could do to fix it!” His ribs ached. He must be panting again.
“You can’t fight if you are hurt. You can’t train if you are hurt. You can’t protect anyone if you are hurt.”
“Go away.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Go away!”
“I will not abandon my son.”
“Well maybe you should!” Leo swung wildly. Splinter blocked with his usual speed and precision. “Maybe someone should have told me to leave a long time ago because then none of this would have ever happened!” He swung again and again. Splinter blocked and ducked out of the way again and again. Not once did Splinter attempt to get a hit on him. “Maybe I literally should have never existed!”
Splinter was backed against the wall. Leo dropped the odachi. His whole body felt numb.
He dropped to the floor. “I-I’m sorry, Sensei. I-I-” There was nothing to say. There was only grief.
Arms wrapped around him and Leo sobbed. The sounds felt forced and harsh, exploding from somewhere deep in his chest, relieving the unspoken pressure.
Splinter sat there through it all. Slowly Leo settled into his dad’s arms, and nothing was ready to be said. The grief needed to sit there, needed to find that gentle acceptance in silence before either of them were ready to say anything.
When all was settled, Splinter stood, beckoning for Leo to follow. “Let’s get you to bed.”