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Tenderness. Comfort. Endearment. All words no one would be foolish enough to associate with the Doctor. If he found you to be irritating, he’d turn you into his next experiment. He was arrogant with little patience for those he felt were beneath him. Sometimes he played with you first but you always ended up on his table with your blood on his hands, just the way he liked it. Most would call him cruel. Dangerous. Malevolent.
But not you. He was the only one who made his intentions clear the day you met in the library to this very moment. Zandik had been more interested in your opinions than the restricted books he wanted you to sneak him back at the Akademiya. As the second harbinger, there was nothing you could offer him. His segments were his lab assistants but he said many times they didn’t possess the same thoughts as you. He was on top of the world now. He could have kicked you off his throne any second but he didn’t. The doctor everyone else was so afraid of let you sit next to him.
Which is why it hurt so bad that no matter where the two of you went, everyone treated you like you were nothing more than an accessory on his arm. Neither of you graduated but that didn’t mean neither of you knew anything. Zandik got a lab and what did you get? Lunches where you tried to discuss your studies only to be asked about the intricacies of your relationship. His career thrived since his exile. Yours only suffered.
They would pretend to be interested in your mind and once you were away from the protection of your partner, they’d reveal that they saw you as an acrobat in a circus, performing for them. You were sick of bending your limbs for their amusement. You thirsted to be the lion they watched from a distance. Instead of being afraid of the doctor, you wanted those bastards to be afraid of you too.
But you were nothing like the notorious Il Dottore. Where he was manipulative and obsessive, you were gullible and desperate. If he was in your position, he’d capture the one he detested the most and test his newest concoction on them to teach the others not to speak so loosely. You, on the other hand, would cry in the safety of your room and ease back into the part they made you play, a puppet on a string, unable to break free.
You’d wailed into the soft sheets, comforted by the scent of his cologne. He’d jump at the chance to turn those who hurt you into his newest experiments but you were convinced you needed to solve your own problems. So the ambery vanilla and patchouli scent would have to guard you for now.
When you heard the door to your shared space open, you turned on your side to pretend to be asleep. Tears still slid down the apples of your cheeks but you had been able to quiet your crying. His boots squeaked as he crossed the floor to your bed where he settled himself in a seated position next to your form that was turned away from him. He let out a sigh as a hand caressed your face, gliding a thumb across the delicate skin.
“Come here, darling.” He spoke in a low voice that would sound uncharacteristic of him to anyone else. But it was for you and you couldn’t help but be obedient to his suggestions.
You didn’t speak, merely crawled to lay your head in his lap. Your palm gripped his thigh as you turned your face into his clothing body, sobs began falling out of your mouth once again. He didn’t say anything in return, no pleas for you to stop crying. Zandik just let his hand card through your hair.
Eventually, you ran out of shuddering wails. Now, you just felt empty and sad but at least you were in his arms. Your head lying in the crook of his neck, tightly held in his embrace.
“Would you like to talk about it?”
“I wish I didn’t have to.”
“What do you mean?”
“No one would dare speak about the second harbinger but his lover is fair game. It’s even more pathetic that I require your assistance. I should be able to handle it on my own.”
He didn’t respond at first, measuring the weight of your words. You could feel his heart ache simply because yours did. Finally, he broke the silence with a simple question, “Do you wish for me to spare them?” He almost sounded disappointed.
You shifted your position in his arms to where you could gaze at his face. His crimson eyes blinked softly at you, filling your stomach with warmth. You shook your head at his question, “No, that’s not what I mean. I want them to suffer but more than that I want them to be afraid to whisper my name. Just as afraid as they are to say yours. I’m sick of their ridiculous dinner parties where they insult my intelligence with small talk. They believe I am beneath them and they can get on your good side through me. They should be trying to get on my good side. But I don’t know how to do that. I’m still the same naive scholar from the Akademiya.”
A wicked smile had crossed your lover's lips at your words. He sighed softly before his smooth voice said, “Oh, unfortunately my dear that’s where you are incorrect. If you were still that student who worked in the library, you’d be content to continue being who others expect you to be. That version of you craved to be loved. The current version of you desires to be respected. Though, that is something I can assist you with.”
“You seem a bit too pleased about this.”
“But of course. Your mind is one of the many things I admire about you. It has been rather disappointing to see others treat you as merely an afterthought. You are worth far more than that.” He said, his hand caressing your cheek. “So, how would you like to start my darling?”
“Hmm, the quickest way would be to send a message, yes? We can use the Natlan ambassador’s irritating wife as one of your test subjects for a while. She’s the ringleader of the group, always saying she wants to discuss my thesis but just asks why I haven’t married you yet. She’s too important to kill but that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun with her.” The words came out of your mouth while you thought out loud.
When Dottore didn’t respond, you looked at him with a nervous look. Perhaps, that was too much. You should probably choose someone who’s less important. “What?”
Instead of answering with words, he leaned down to kiss you. His wet lips moved at a feverish pace as his hand slid to your throat to rest there. When he pulled away, he smirked down at you, “I can’t wait to see the person you become.”