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The sea breeze in her hair felt soothing as Klaudia gazed out towards a distant shore, the shore of Kurken island. It had been many years since she was last here, too many in fact. So many important friends and memories of her life were made right there. On that island also lives her very best friend in the entire world, Ryza. It had been such a long time since they met, not that they had been completely cut off from each other. Klaudia regularly sent letters to Ryza about what she was up to, much of the contents would be seen as boring to anyone else but she so enjoyed sharing her experiences with Ryza and although rare due to how much she travelled nothing was better than when she get a letter back from Ryza. It had now been over a month since she sent the last letter but that was because she wanted her arrival to be a complete surprise to Ryza. She had worked hard for this and finally gotten to this point where she had time to do whatever she wanted.
Klaudia had freed up her schedule for at least a month forward. The company was in a good place and her father had taken in many skilled apprentices that were getting the hang of the business. Travelling was fun but also tiring, Klaudia had mostly switched over to administrative duties which was what made this trip possible, much of her current work could be made anywhere where merchants passed regularly. If she made a few deals with her colleagues she could probably stay a lot longer, perhaps it was time to settle down in one place and this place would certainly be near the top of the list, although that had less to do with the place and all the more with someone who lives here.
“Everyone prepare for landing” A voice called out from the reeling above. Klaudia had gotten so stuck in her daydream that they were now close enough to see individual people on the harbor. Time to gather her things and disembark. Klaudia travelled lightly as she wanted to settle in first, the rest of her stuff including all her work stuff would be sent on the next boat.
Klaudia disembarked and took in the sights. The place looked pretty much the same as she remembered and she even recognized a few faces but unfortunately not the person she was looking for. Since she was not working today she could freely leave the ship belonging to her father and head to the town. Ryza wrote in a recent letter that she moved to the old town and set up a proper Atelier so finding that was her top priority.
As she strolled through the streets she heard church bells in the distance signaling some kind of event. She also noticed there was unusually many people on the streets causing quite a commotion. Klaudia’s curiosity got the best of her and she decided to approach a group of people to inquire what was happening.
“Is there some kind of big event happening today?” Long gone were the days she had trouble to speak with people. She bluntly but politely asked a group of people and an unknown woman with an elated voice answered in a furious pace seemingly without breathing in between the words.
“How have you not heard about it? Have you been living under a rock? The Brunnen son is getting married! They suddenly made a surprise announcement just a few hours ago, apparently they had it under such close wraps that barely anyone knew about it or even to whom he’s getting married. The ceremony is just about to get started. If you want you can head in the church and see it yourself, it is open to the public. I’m heading there now myself” The woman ran off followed by the rest of the group leaving Klaudia frozen on the spot. This had come as a big shock and Klaudia’s thoughts were a mess right now.
"Getting married… Bos is getting married… to who? It can’t be… Can it? No there’s no way… I mean she would have told me… wouldn’t she?" Klaudia’s internal monologue only served to make her more and more stressed; she dropped everything else and ran over to the church’s open doors feeling a lump of worry in her stomach.
The church seemed to be close to max capacity and many people both entered and exited at the same time. There was a big crowd blocking the way to the door, Klaudia was used to handling big crowds in markets so she firmly elbowed her way through until she got inside. Once inside she searched for a opening to see the altar and when she did her heart sunk like a stone. There was Ryza, standing at the front in a beautiful gown, next to her Bos was dressed in a jet black groom outfit and standing right in between them a clergyman. Ryza whispered something to Bos and smiled getting a smile from Bos in return. Klaudia felt her mind spiraling out of control.
"No… this can’t be happening! She didn’t mention anything about this… why would she not tell me?… Why would she do this?" Klaudia stood like a statue wrestling with her own mind for a minute before she was startled alive by the organ music starting. Everyone turned their heads towards a spot near the front of the church; to Klaudia’s surprise even Ryza and Bos turned their heads towards that same spot. Klaudia now wondered what everyone was looking at and when she turned her own gaze she got her eyes on the most extravagant wedding dress she had ever seen. Klaudia also recognized the person; it was Kilo, in a white wedding dress… it wasn’t Ryza. She looked back towards Ryza who had now taken a few steps back to make room for the bride.
“Thank god” Klaudia muttered too low for anyone to hear. Klaudia gave a big sigh and felt so dizzy from the relief that she had to sit down. Ryza wasn’t getting married at all, she was probably the maid of honor, there was no reason she had to be worried, and of course Ryza would have told Klaudia about such a monumental occasion. Klaudia closed her eyes to gather her thoughts and calm down; suddenly she was made very aware of everything that had gone through her mind earlier.
Why was it such a distress for her that Ryza could have been getting married? Bos, while rough around the edges is a fine man and a true friend should be happy about something like that. But when Klaudia first saw Ryza standing next to Bos a thought had crossed Kludia’s mind and only now did she herself understand its meaning. "It should be me standing by her side!" Klaudia’s internal voice screamed it out inside her head giving herself a light blush on the cheeks. Did that mean she wanted to marry Ryza herself? They were very close, Ryza was the one person Kludia could always share anything with and honestly you would have to be blind to not find Ryza attractive regardless of your own gender. The fact Ryza was still single is a big mystery. But was that really what she felt for Ryza?
Klaudia slowly stood up just enough to get a good view of Ryza and simply gazed at her. She quickly sat down again trying to hide a now even bigger blush. There was no doubt anymore, she was in love with Ryza, she was a silly and jealous maiden in love. How would she even handle something like this? She’s never been in love before, but these feeling had no other possible explanation. She calmed herself down and stood up again to get a better view, she did know both the bride and groom so it was not weird for her to remain but mostly she had her eyes on Ryza. Suddenly she found herself very aware of just how stunning Ryza was, and how form fitting her bridesmaids dress was. "With a body like that there are probably sleazy guys hitting on her all the time. But maybe not all of them are completely sleazy and suddenly Ryza would be getting married here for real. The only sure way I can prevent something like that from happening is to… beat them to the punch! Yes there is no other choice, this is the only way to keep Ryza for myself, but how?"
Suddenly Ryza's gaze wandered and Klaudia found her eyes meeting Ryza’s who got visibly confused before shining up with a big happy grin on her face. The smile alone was enough to make Klaudia’s heart skip a beat. Ryza quickly realized her position and that she shouldn’t get distracted, she made a fake cough and turned back her focus to the lucky couple. Ryza made the most discreet wave she could to Klaudia while glancing in the corner of her eye and Klaudia understood exactly what she was trying to convey because she was thinking the same. "We’ll talk after this". Klaudia gave a smile right back and they both turned their focus towards the ceremony, although Klaudia had other things than a wedding to think about, much more important things, she now had a mission to win the real prize inside this church, Ryza!
The wedding ceremony was now finished and Klaudia was waiting near the main entrance to the church keeping her eyes peeled for Ryza. No arrangement had been possible to make but it was the most logical place for her to turn up. There were still a large crowd hanging around outside the church, a group of girls next to her were loudly fangirling over the wedding dress. It felt like an eternity before Klaudia finally saw what she had been waiting for, apparently Ryza had changed as she was now sporting her usual look Klaudia was so used to seeing.
However, something was different from how it was in the past, not with the outfit itself but rather with Klaudia’s perception of it. Those signature hot pants sure… accentuated her figure, and her thighs looked so round and firm, how was it even possible? Ryza turned around looking back towards the church drawing Klaudia’s attention to her sizable cleavage, Klaudia had always been a bit jealous at how big and shapely Ryza’s breasts were, but as they jiggled back and forth from Ryza waving at an unseen person in the church the thoughts currently crossing Klaudia’s mind were anything but jealousy.
Klaudia crouched behind a crowd when she realized how she was looking. She could fell her cheeks burning; they were probably red as tomatoes from her lewd thoughts! She wanted to protect Ryza from sleazy guys but wasn’t she herself right now thinking like a sleazy girl? Thank god Ryza had not seen her yet. She tried rubbing her cheeks and took some deep breaths to calm down, it was probably fine now. She stood up again, Ryza was searching through the crowds and now had her back turned Klaudia’s way so she decided to call out.
“Ryza! Over heeeere!” Klaudia raised her hand and her call reached the intended target who turned around and gave a huge smile which made Klaudia give an equally big smile in return. Ryza ran over and jumped onto Klaudia to give her a big hug, Klaudia just barely parried her leg to keep them both from falling over.
“You really are here Klaudia! Why did you not mention anything about this?!” Ryza’s voice was elated to say the least and that made Klaudia so happy to still mean so much to Ryza.
“I thought it would be more fun to surprise you” Klaudia answered more calmly. Now this situation, if it had happened any other day it would just have been a normal greeting of friends, today however, having Ryza’s entire body squeezing tightly against her own like this made Klaudia extremely self-conscious about her newfound feelings. Ryza pulled back from the hug but grabbed Klaudia’s shoulders with both her hands instead so they were face to face.
“So how long will you be staying?!” Ryza looked so happy, her smile was contagious and made Klaudia’s entire body feel warm and fuzzy. Now how would she answer Ryza? Her original plan was up in the air about how long but learning that she was in love with Ryza made her doubt if she ever wanted to leave again, but she can’t just say that to Ryza, the best option is to keep it vague.
“I’m not really sure, depends on work but I plan to remain here a while at least” Ryza beamed like a fairystone at her answer.
“Yay! We’re going to have so much fun right Klaudia?! So where are you staying right now?” Klaudia had completely forgotten about that part, she had not made any reservations beforehand since she figured it would work out once she arrived.
“I’m not really sure about that either. I just arrived here and was planning to ask around for free rooms immediately on arrival but ended up getting sidetracked by the big event” Klaudia’s answer suddenly changed Ryza’s face to a smug look, what was going on in her mind now?
“Well then, Starting right now you’re officially staying at my place! My new place has plenty of space and I have an extra bed that is now yours to use as you see fit!” Ryza’s proposition was again on any other day just an invitation for Klaudia to room with a friend, but not anymore, this now meant Klaudia would be living together with her crush. She had to stop herself from over thinking the situation and her mouth answered automatically.
“Sure! That would make me really happy!” There was no reason to decline, she loved the idea after all. If she wanted to become closer to Ryza then living together was a huge step forward, and Ryza just offered it on her own although just in a friendly way. But this was in fact one of the best things that could happen if she wanted to quickly change their relationship to something more than friends.
“Then it’s settled! Do you mind waiting a while outside the school? My house is just next door to it and I have to help Bos with a few things before I’m free for real”
“Sure… Wait, house!? You have your own house!?” This was new information to Klaudia, the sole letter that mentioned her moving had no details about the place.
“Yeah! Didn’t I mention it to you?” Had she been so absentminded as to forget what it was she wrote?
“No, you wrote you had bought your own place but you overlooked the details about what kind of place it was” Ryza covered her mouth with her hand.
“Oooh, I did forget that didn’t i. Well it was actually a pretty run down building so I got it cheap and then fixed it up with alchemy. The first floor is my new Atelier. Second and third floor are the living spaces and the attic I mostly use as storage” Ryza’s house sounds huge, it appears she’s become so successful that she is really making money now, the thought made Klaudia happy since Ryza had always struggled with money.
“Well I look forward to seeing it! Now hurry back inside so I can see you again sooner!” Klaudia had thought about offering to help but she needed to sit down and collect her thoughts and this was her only opportunity, it also felt weird to intrude on a wedding event even if she knew both the bride and groom.
“All right! I’ll wrap up as soon as I can and see ya later!” Ryza grinned and ran back inside. Klaudia smiled to herself and slowly started walking towards the school. Her mind was already full at work trying to figure out how she should proceed.
It was now evening and Klaudia's heart was racing as she was now standing in her nightwear in Ryza’s bedroom. This was also one of those moments that in the past had been nothing special, they had slept in the same place plenty of times before but now it was impossible to see Ryza as just a friend. Nothing in particular had happened between them after the ceremony. When Ryza picked up Klaudia they had dinner at a seafood restaurant where they simply got caught up on what had been going on in their respective lives. Then Ryza had brought her back to unpack and given her a tour of the entire place and now they were here, that the extra bed would be right next to Ryza’s own was a surprise. She loved it but also wondered if she could actually fall asleep with her heart pounding as much as it was right now. Ryza was already lying in her bed having waited for Klaudia to finish changing which she had been too embarrassed to do in the same room.
“Sorry for being so tired Klaudia, I wish we could have talked all night long but today was so hectic and i’m afraid I would have fallen asleep in the middle of a conversation” There was no need to apologize thought Klaudia.
“It’s okay. I just turned up from the blue so I understand you had other plans already. I’m just happy to see you again and it’s not like this was the only day we had” Ryza closed her eyes, did she just fall asleep? But she opened them again in just a few seconds and she had a proclamation.
“You know Klaudia, I am ahead on my work so tomorrow I’m clearing up my schedule so we can hang out all we want the entire day!” The suggestion was enough to make a big smile appear on Klaudia’s face. Then maybe tomorrow she could muster herself to say it, there was no point drawing this out after all, she had to try making Ryza hers as soon as possible.
“That makes me so happy! is it okay if I decide on the plans?”
“You got it! Anything you want, I’ll be there!” A big smile spread on Ryza’s face. If only she knew how double faced Klaudia was right now.
“Then I want us to go down near the old abandoned harbor, just looking over the sea and talk about stuff” Klaudia had an ulterior motive with her choice of activity. Romantic scenery and a place other people rarely visit was the perfect spot for confessing to Ryza.
“Well then it’s a date!” Klaudia’s heart skipped at the answer even though she knew they most likely had different interpretations on what the word date meant for tomorrow. Klaudia lied down and pulled the covers on top trying to hide her blush. “I’m already excited for tomorrow! Good night Klaudia!” Klaudia smiled at those words, she was acting giddy as a schoolgirl which made the situation all the more embarrassing.
“Me too, Good night Ryza” Ryza was sound asleep shortly after but Klaudia was so nervous for tomorrow she laid awake a long time before finally falling asleep.
It was now morning and straight after a nice alchemy baked breakfast the pair had headed out for the old harbor where so many of their adventures had started from. Klaudia trailed a few steps behind Ryza heading through the small forest behind her parents farm. The weather today was perfect, sunny and just a light breeze, the only thing that was disturbing the calm was Klaudia’s own beating heart, she tried calming it down but nothing she did was working. Ryza was chatting away ahead but only about half of what she said actually got processed in Klaudia’s head due to her being distracted. Klaudia wondered if Ryza had noticed how one-sided their conversation was. They soon arrived at the waterfront and the small wooden pier. There was a bench at the end of the dock now that had not been there when she last visited.
“You noticed the bench huh? It was me who made it, this place has so many important memories to me so I like to go here sometimes and just take in the atmosphere, sit right down Klaudia!” Ryza gestured at the bench.
“Oh thanks but I’d rather stand, at least right now.” Klaudia felt safer standing since she was so nervous, but her voice was shaking.
“Well it’s your choice” Ryza walked to the edge and gazed into the distance. Klaudia placed herself slightly behind and to the side of Ryza. After standing like that for a while Ryza spoke again. “Something is up isn’t it Klaudia? You’re so bad at hiding when you’re worried” Ryza turned around towards Klaudia who reacted by looking straight down into the wooden boards. So she was really that easy to read, guess there is no choice then. She wanted more time to prepare herself but if she is making Ryza worry that is not fair.
“…Yeah you’re right” Klaudia said without looking up.
“Is it that serious?” Ryza asked.
“I guess” Was all Klaudia answered
“It’s not my fault I hope” Was Ryza’s next question.
“No of course it isn’t your fault!” Klaudia raised her voice but was still unable to face Ryza. She couldn't really blame Ryza, it was Klaudia’s own fault for falling in love.
“Anyhting I can help you with?” She was always so worried for her friends.
"In a way… I suppose”
“Then talk to me Klaudia! I’m not a mind reader you know.”
Klaudia turned her eyes towards the bracelet on her wrist, the friendship bracelet she got from Ryza. She had loved it when she received it but right now it represented the gulf between their feelings, friends and lovers were different and she was no longer content just being a friend. Klaudia removed the bracelet and put it in Ryza’s hand and looked her in the eyes. “Please take this, I can’t be your friend anymore!” Ryza looked down at her hand and then back at Klaudia.
“What… Klaudia… Why?!” Tears were starting to form in Ryza’s eyes. Only now did Klaudia realize just how horrible her choice of words had been.
“N-n-n-no! I Didn’t mean it like that Ryza!” Klaudia tried to defuse the situation without success.
“Then what do you mean?! How else am I supposed to interpret what you said?!” Ryza was very distressed and agitated now, her cheeks getting wet from rolling tears. This was turning into a complete wreck, Klaudia had no choice. It was not the perfect moment she had sought after but it was probably the last one if she wanted to salvage this situation at all. She swiftly grabbed both Ryza’s hands and held them to her own chest and decided to shout out her true feelings.
“I mean that I love you Ryza! I can’t be your friend anymore because I want to be much more than that! I want to be your lover!” Klaudia had her eyes closed the entire confession and now carefully opened them. Ryza had frozen in place in front of her. They both stood there several seconds without moving until Ryza broke the silence.
“He… hehe… hehehe” She released herself from Klaudia and sat down on the bench putting her head in her own hands “So that was all it was…” Klaudia was now the one distressed. Did the thought of being lovers feel so outlandish to Ryza she simply laughed at her or what was going on? “You really had me worried there Klaudia” Klaudia was still confused only being able to offer a half-hearted answer.
“I-I’m sorry…” Klaudia felt ashamed of herself, this had gone so bad, maybe she had ruined it so badly they could no longer be either lovers or friends. After that Ryza took a deep breath and stood up again facing Klaudia. Klaudia now felt trapped, maybe she was mad, or worse, disgusted at the situation.
“Ahem… So… if I heard correctly you want us to be lovers?” Ryza had started fidgeting with her hair. Klaudia got embarrassed and blushed heavily at the word lover coming from Ryza.
“Y-y-y-y-y-yes” Klaudia’s voice was barely usable right now.
“So... you would be my girlfriend... and I would be your girlfriend…” Klaudia had now completely lost the use of her voice, what was happening? She couldn’t wrap her head around the situation at all “Um... I mean it would be an honor to be Klaudias’s girlfriend but I‘m not sure I would be a good girlfriend myself, I’ve never actually been in a relationship before” Klaudia’s head was close to a total meltdown. Did Ryza just agree to her proposition or was Klaudia’s mind completely fried, she was cold sweating and her pulse was going out of control.
“Are you okay Klaudia?” This was the last thing Klaudia heard before she passed out.
Klaudia awoke in a daze and felt a soft and warm sensation on her cheek. Still barely awake she slowly opened her eyes to see what the cause of the softness was. What met her eyes were nothing other than Ryza’s thighs, she was lying in Ryza’s lap! Klaudia darted upright in panic now wide awake again and blushing. Apparently Ryza had lifted her up on the bench after she passed out. Confessing her love only to pass out afterwards, this was all so embarrassing.
“Finally awake huh. You sure are causing a lot of trouble for me today” Ryza was teasing Klaudia but she felt really bad about her behavior.
“I’m so sorry Ryza...” Klaudia was making Ryza worry so much because of her.
“So, you were really serious about what you said back then?” Ryza got the topic back to the confession. Klaudia now realized they never cleared up the situation before she passed out, she had to be straight with Ryza now and not pass out.
“Y-Y-Yes I was! I really do love you Ryza! More than anything else!” Klaudia took Ryza’s hand as she confessed a second time now in more controlled fashion.
“Heh... well I do love you too… so I guess we’re really doing this huh? Never thought I’d get myself a girlfriend of all things but life is full of surprises” She agreed. Ryza really just agreed to become Klaudia’s girlfriend. Klaudia felt a warm happiness filling her entire body.
“Ryza!” Klaudia called out to her new girlfriend and threw herself around Ryza, hugging her with all her might.
“Hey Klaudia you could hurt someone like that!” Klaudia pulled back quickly.
“Sorry! I’m just so happy!” Klaudia had a big grin on her face.
“I can see that. But Klaudia, what really changes now that we’re girlfriends?” Ryza’s question stumped Klaudia. She had admittedly not thought this far ahead at all, what changes did this mean for their relationship?
“Umm, I’m not sure…” Klaudia felt lost, all her energy had been spent on planning the confession, what came after was a complete mystery.
“Hmmm… oh, I think I understand what it is you’re after” Ryza suddenly got a smug look. Klaudia tilted her head in confusion.
“…Huh?” Ryza gave no answer to Klaudia’s confusion and instead leaned forward and planted a big kiss straight on Klaudia’s lips. When she pulled back they were both noticeably blushing.
“Hehe your lips are soft Klaudia! So… did you like it?” Klaudia liked it very much but she barely had time to understand what was happening before it was over.
“I can’t say” Klaudia said.
“Wow, was it that bad?” Ryza scratched her head in embarrassment.
“No! I just had no time to form a fair evaluation. If I get another one, a longer one, it would be easier to form an opinion” Klaudia was pleading with a big blush and Ryza’s face went back into smug mode.
“Getting needy already huh? Alright Fine!” Ryza now grabbed Klaudia’s face and once again locked their lips together. Klaudia already thought this was way better than their first kiss. She reached her hands behind Ryza’s back. She wanted this moment to last as long as possible. She leaned into the kiss so they were half lying down on the backrest. They were both slightly out of breath when Klaudia finally broke the kiss and softly spoke.
“I’m so happy right now, let’s never be apart again.” Ryza got her own blush from Klaudia’s words as there was still barely more than a fingers distance between them.
“Hehe, that makes me happy to hear, but what about your work?” Of course Ryza would worry about such a thing, Klaudia loved how kind she was.
“That’s no problem, I’ve got connections and plenty of savings to last me a while, I have already made sure I could be staying here indefinetely. Maybe I’ll open up a shop here and if father doesn’t like me staying permanently I’ll just quit!” Klaudia’s planning ahead had paid of much more than she could have imagined beforehand.
“Wait, does that mean you were already planning to move here!?” This new information surprised Ryza.
“I had not 100% decided before I went but I was considering it”
“If that’s really what you want that’s great! I’ve missed having you with me so much! Sure I know everyone on this island but it is just not the same, you’ve always been special to me!” Klaudia did not respond, she just looked into Ryza’s eyes.
“Klaudia?” Was all Ryza had time to say before Klaudia kissed her again. She put her entire weight on Ryza so they ended up lying down on top of each other. Klaudia kissed Ryza multiple times before she got pushed back up by a flustered Ryza.
“Hey, hey calm down Klaudia! You’re being too intense right now” Klaudia had not realized but Ryza was right, she was so happy she lost control, at least she hadn’t passed out again.
“You’re right, sorry Ryza, I just need to calm down a bit”
“Good. I’m happy you feel so strongly about me but you need to calm down, don't want you passing out again” Ryza sat up properly again. Klaudia saw this as a new opportunity as she laid her head on Ryza’s shoulder.
“This much is fine right?” Klaudia softly asked.
“Geez, that’s just unfair, how could I say no when you act like a puppy hehe.” Ryza returned the favor by leaning her head on top of Klaudia’s head. For a while they just sat there together gazing out over the water. Klaudia ended up laying her head down on Ryza’s comfy thigh cushion again. After a while Ryza finally broke the silence.
“Sooo… When was it you fell in love with me?” The curiosity had become too much for Ryza.
“Hmmm… yesterday I suppose” Ryza's mouth gaped in shock.
“Yesterday?! But you made this big a deal out of it so it sounded like you had been in love forever! Are you saying you just turned up and fell in love immediately?”
“Hmmm, no not really. My feelings for you have not changed much in many years but only yesterday was I able to put a word on what to call that feeling” Klaudia had closed her eyes savoring the feeling of being in her lovers lap.
“Such a long time huh? Sorry I never realized”
“What is it to apologize for? I myself didn’t realize until I saw you in the church and I thought I was losing you to Bos”
“What!? Me and… did you really think that? I’d like to believe I have better taste than that!” Klaudia turned her head upwards.
“So you’re saying I’m better than Bos?”
“He might have cleaned up his act but you’re still way better in every way” Klaudia was satisfied with the answer and turned her head back towards the ocean.
“Glad to hear it. By the way Ryza your thighs are lovely, it’s like I’m lying on soft cushions”
“Um... Thanks?…” Ryza’s face turned red at her thighs getting complimented but Klaudia didn’t notice.
“I could fall asleep like this” Klaudia was getting drowsy.
“Hey come on it’s not all that comfy for me you know! Why don’t we head into town? There’s this new restaurant specializing in foreign dishes, a big shot chef from the capitol recently moved here and opened it and I have yet to try it out”
“That sounds nice. We should do that in say… another ten minutes” This got Ryza riled up
“Klaudia! I’m getting up right now regardless of where you are!”
“Awwww you’re no fun” Klaudia said as she sat back up.
“Alright, let’s go Klaudia!” Ryza gave a big smile as she grabbed Klaudia’s hand and pulled her along as they headed back towards the town. What was in store for their relationship was completely unknown to Klaudia but she was happy she had finally found the one place she felt she truly belonged.