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Our Safe Haven

Summary:

Change tempered by time is always a harsh reality, which makes the journey home all the more difficult. Do you truly belong anywhere anymore?

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You thought the hardest moment in your life would be leaving your hometown.

 

Instead, it was the return. So many unsaid conversations hanging at the edge of your mind, tugging at your lips.

 

Even if you were alone.

 

The cold wind nestles into every small rip and tear in your knitted sweater. Old memories and sweet moments line your brain like old weathered insulation in a decaying shack. 

 

No one knew you were back.

 

No one would greet you at the airport. Things had been tense ever since you left.

 

Yet, this was your last safe place, even if you felt like a fish on land.

 

You wave down the nearest taxi, you can't help the stray thought darting across your brain, fear. The inside shields you from the cold night air.

 

It washes away under the gaze of your taxi driver, even if you can feel a different anxiety itch at the edge of your brain. You really hope you can make it to the pawnshop.

 

His eyes light up when you mention the location, a look of recognition. "You're one of Rogers? The ride's on me. It's been awhile since you've been in town." 

 

Your eyes scan over his dash, as his wipers spur to life. An effective shield against the light pitter-patter of rain. You spot his ID card hanging from his rearview.

 

Matthew Kim.

 

You feel your brain prickle slightly hoping, daring to make a spark. Nascent memories preen at the edge of your brain. 

 

"Babysitter Matthew?" Your eyebrows knit together at your own words.

 

A smile danced across his lips and into his eyes. "I'm surprised you remembered."

 

The heavy babysitter had transformed in the years you hadn't seen him. A self-described chunky monkey was replaced with a swell of muscle and fitness. 

 

Concern itches into your teeth, an uneasy edge. His father was a Taxi Driver. "Your Dad....?"

 

You felt unsure how to finish your question. After all, you had been gone a long time.

 

"He's alright, a little sick but I'm just covering his shift," you released a sigh. A tentative quiet fills the cabin as he drives, only the sound of rain against glass fills your mind.

 

"Hey," a soft warmth. "It's none of my business, especially with all the stuff you have to deal with. But have you talked to the Lees?"

 

It feels like there are sheets of ice underneath your feet, they crack under the weight of your thoughts. Yet all that comes out of your mouth is a yawn.

 

"My bad, you're probably tired. Why don't you catch some winks and I'll wake you up when we get there."

 


 

A sudden boom of thunder echoes through your ears, another nap interrupted. 

 

You're surprised to see Gahyeon's usually immaculate hair replaced with a wet tangled mess.

 

It would seem the weather outside was bad.

 

A yawn escapes your lips as your fingers search through your desk. They find your familiar metallic keys with practised ease. "You look like a drowned cat," a teasing smile crosses your teeth and onto your lips. 

 

Her fingers comb through her luscious pink hair, fighting desperately to untangle the mess. "Thanks," her voice dry and annoyed. Though you do spot the hint of a smile at the edge of her lips. 

 

You quickly grab your belongings from the classroom, though you remember a distinct lack of Siyeon during math. "Were you hoping to find your sister?"

 

Her eyebrows knit together, her eyes slam shut as she releases a tense sigh. Her fingers trace her temples, massaging into her skin. "...She ditched class again didn't she?"

 

Nothing but frustration lined her voice. "What's the point of having a sister with a car, if she's never around."

 

You only shrug as you depart for your locker, you hear the shuffle of feet behind you. Her eyes peer at you as you open your locker, a look of longing wistfulness.

 

You knew better though.

 

"You want a ride don't you?" Your eyes stare at your motorcycle gear, a gift from Roger for helping out at his store so often. You just thought of it as a way to pay back the man who took you in. You only accepted so the old codger didn't have to get up so early.

 

"Please?" Her voice was hopeful, her eyes peaking past your locker door. 

 

"You're not just asking to look cool in front of your friends?" you cock an eyebrow as you peer back at her. Memories of when you first received your bike.

 

"I promise," she basically whines. "Plus they've all gone home."

 

"Alright.... fine," you toss her your spare jacket and helmet. A slight sigh leaves your lips as you close your locker. 

 

Hopefully, Siyeon doesn't make this a habit.

 

You can't help but notice as Gahyeon adjusts her hair and your spare jacket, her eyes caught on her reflection as she primped. 

 

You're just glad it fits.

 

You cough a little, hoping to hasten her. Yet all you receive is an arched eyebrow. "Let your sister know that I'm dropping you off. You know, so she doesn't worry."

 

Granted you could do it yourself, anything to get her to hurry up. 

 

"...About that?" She asks her voice hesitant, her eyes scanning over you tentatively.

 

You can only raise an eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"

 

"...Siyeon kinda has my keys. She lost hers  again.  So I gave her mine so dad wouldn't get mad," she eyes you like a scared animal, anxiety dances in her pupils. Scared that you'd get angry or that you'd relinquish the ride you offered.

 

You chuckle slightly as you pat her head gently, though you find yourself regretting it quickly, water clings to your hand as you wipe it on your leather sleeve. "That does sound like  your  sister."

 

"I mean she's your best friend," she says a tentative yet warm smile crosses onto her face at your touch.

 

"Touché," you return her smile. "It's fine, you can chill at mine until your sister comes round. Roger did always say you guys were always welcome."

 

Your feet pad across familiar hallways before you brace yourself at the exit, howling winds echoing into the hallway. You only needed a moment of preparation for the cold embrace outside.

 

You feel a tug on the back of your jacket. You tilt your head slightly towards Gahyeon.

 

"...Thanks y/n."

 

"No problem Kiddo."

 


 

You wake up at Matthew's beckoning, though your mind still traces the embrace of Gahyeon's arms around your waist, warmth from your memories of far sweeter times.

 

You notice the shop's curtains drawn to a close and a small paper note pressed to the door. 

 

Closed until further notice

 

You turn to Matthew, unsure whether to enter.

 

"You'll be fine, Roger was an odd guy but they'll still give you your delayed loan."

 

You take a deep breath, the air is cold and tickles at the edges of your lung as you open the door. 

 

You find the store mostly barren, previously stocked shelves filled with nothing but empty space. You notice an outline of where your bike would've been. 

 

A frown spills onto your lips.

 

It was Roger's suggestion, after all, he didn't like the idea of you moving halfway across the country without a backup plan. Though it was you who offered your bike, you didn't want to be an exception to the old man's kindness.

 

Your eyes catch your replacement. A short black bob of hair, she notices your lingering stare. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

 

"I'm just here to collect a loan," it was an odd sentence to leave your mouth.

 

She cocks an eyebrow, for a second she has the same lost expression that reminds you of Siyeon. 

 

You wonder, what she's up to, if only for a second. 

 

"What name is the loan under?" She asks fingers flipping through envelopes.

 

"Davidson," not your real last name. 

 

Her eyebrows knit together as she lifts two envelopes, one is worn and stained yellow with age, the second one is new and filled to the brim.

 

"Seems like Mr Roger liked you," she hands you the first envelope and then the second one, though you notice a hint of hesitancy.

 

You do your best to hide a confused look, though as you feel the weight of the second envelope settle into your hand.

 

Everything hits you at once a torrent of swirling grief, one small slip and you'd drown. Yet you can't help but feel the memories carved into your brain with a loving touch.

 

Your home is filled with life as you open the door, only to feel a cold splash from overhead, drenching you. A sweet elderly cackle fills the air at your predicament.

 

"Finally got you, kid!" A child-like grin spreads across Roger's face, despite being soaked you can't help but smile. He'd been trying to prank you all week, even if it wasn't April fools anymore.

 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say old man," you say trying to manage a scowl. "Now could you stop being a child and grab me a towel from that cabinet."

 

Your finger lingers over the cabinet behind. He pokes his tongue out at you, "Whatever you say, spoilsport," an all too pleased smile echoes through your ears. 

 

You don't wait for him instead you look through the shoe cabinet beside you. That's when you hear a soft bang and surprised scream that only makes you smile.

 

You direct your eyes over to your caregiver, blue paint splashed over his face, lightly sploshed onto his beard. "All you need is the red hat and you'd look like Papa Smurf."

 

His shock disappears into laughter. "One step ahead as always Kid."

 

 

It seems like he was one step ahead of you for once, you found yourself in front of Roger's house, though you suppose it was your house now if the key in the envelope was anything to go by.

 

Even as the lock clicks open you can't help but remember the home you just left. 

 

A cold empty abyss devoid of love.

 

You refused to look at the note in the envelope, even if you knew Roger was gone. 

 

Your last refuge of love tainted, taken by the spur of time. Nothing left but cold shells and empty memories.

 

Days blur together just like when she left, the only comforts you can find are at the bottom of Roger's special supply and the nestled dark edges of sleep. 

 

Even if you avoid the sharp red hot edges of pain, you still feel your core ache at the loss of Roger, even if you don't acknowledge it.

 

You're awoken by a sudden and violent knock on your front door. Your face stained with absent-minded dream addled tears, the raw taste on the edge of your lips.

 

You clamber to the front door, resting against the door frame as you open the door, a laboured breath leaves your lips.

 

You're greeted by your replacement, though you can't tell if it's because of the fringes of alcohol still lining or your brain or the familiar leather jacket she's wearing but you recognise her instantly.

 

"Gahyeon?" A wildly bewildered look crosses your eyes, hoping your eyes were just out of focus.

 

"You look like shit," she denotes scanning you up and down. Only now did you remember you hadn't changed since you arrived back in town. 

 

She grabs you by the wrist and leads you to the bathroom. She wordlessly gestures for you to wash up. Something you take heed of almost instantly as soon as she leaves.

 

Your mind lingers on the difference years can make.

 


 

Your fingers clench tightly around your spray can, nerves itching into your fingers. A simple enough assignment.

 

Yet it was different having people watching you work. Siyeon's car remained nestled in the vacant car park, her eyes focused on every movement you made.

 

"Sorry for bringing Gahyeon, but I did kind of owe her," Siyeon points out from the hood of her car.

 

"It's alright," you lie through your teeth. Even if she was focused on her phone in the warm interior of Siyeon's car, you still felt extra pressure. 

 

"Paradise is where I am?" She nods a simple enough request. You were thankful she didn't want a mural piece done.

 

A deep inhale reminds you how cold it is. You do your best to focus on the strokes of your spray can. Though you were glad she didn't want any actual art, graffiti and script weren't your forte.

 

Frost tinges your lungs as you focus on colour and shading, the boom of thunder warns you that you're running out of time. A frown clasps onto your face as you try to hurry along, Siyeon quickly rushes to your aid. 

 

You settle into a dance with your newfound partner, shuffled steps and baton passes. In your wake an explosion of blue blooms in your wake, a collaborative effort. Yet as you let go of your spray can, your eyes linger on Siyeon, a giant smile plastered on her face. You can help but feel a smile radiate from your chest as your eyes settle on the delight in hers.

 

For a moment she turns back to you, you think of so many beautiful what-ifs and what could be. Rain begins to pour around you and for a second you truly consider it, another thunderous boom brings you back to reality.

 

Siyeon checks her phone, a slight frown etches onto her face and you know what that means.

 

"Crash at mine, Roger would love to see you guys," an honest, earnest smile crosses your lips. For a second her eyebrows knit together and a frown is smeared onto her face but she relents as she notices Gahyeon in the car.

 

"That'd be great."

 


 

Her fingers glossed over your dirty clothes as she tossed them into the washing machine. Yet she lingers longer on your sweater, your name still stitched into the collar. 

 

A slight smile crosses her lips despite the damage to it, frayed edges from the turn of time, holes and tears from little accidents she could imagine you getting into.

 

It had been loved.

 

She puts it to the side, not knowing what to do with it.

 

She focuses back on the task at hand, her eyes catch the built-up rubbish, nothing but takeout quickly disposed of. 

 

When was the last time you had something healthy?

 

When was the last time she cooked?

 


 

Her fingers ring against your front door, hoping the rain would hide any tears she'd recently shed. Siyeon was out of town for work, your place was her last place of comfort.

 

Despite the circumstances.

 

Roger is the one who opens the door, he beams his warm smile. "Gahyeon," he greets cheerily, though his eyes notice her hidden sadness.

 

"Come inside, I'll put the kettle on." He moves to the side. 

 

Warmth welcomes her as soon as she steps foot inside. 

 

Roger's place was always cosy. "I was thinking hot chocolate with whipped cream and ice cream," Roger calls from the kitchen, her eyes focused on your leather jacket, it'd been years since you left.

 

"That sounds great Roger," she responds with a smile.

 

Even with your absence, this was still her favourite place to be.

 

"I miss you, kids, a lot on rainy days," he says with a wistful sigh as he finishes the drinks.

 

He settles into a chair opposite Gahyeon. Despite his smile, she could feel the sadness hidden behind his gentle eyes.

 

After all, it mirrored her own.

 

She struggles to find anything to add to Roger's words. Yet she decides to be honest. "I miss it too."

 

He offers a sweet smile. "What brings you to my humble abode anyway Gahyeon? Normally you wouldn't have such a sour look if you came here for my amazing company."

 

Her smile flattens slightly. "You noticed huh?"

 

"Well when you've been around the block as many times as I have, you notice things," she feels like he had more he wanted to say.

 

"I... Can I stay here for a couple of days? I promise I'll be out of your hair until I sort myself out."

 

He only chuckles slightly in response before sipping at his drink. "My dear you're always welcome here. In my mind, the spare room has always been your room."

 


 

You dry your hair before letting the towel rest on your shoulder. The smell of food drifts through the air. 

 

You were simultaneously pleased and surprised, it had been a while since you had a homecooked meal, focusing instead on delivery so that you'd get  something  inside your system.

 

Your feet pad across the hallway and into the kitchen, Gahyeon greets you with a wry smile. 

 

She'd grown since you left, a short bob replacing her signature pink hair. Your old leather jacket dusted her shoulders.

 

Yet she seemed colder, more distant than the kid you grew up with. Like there was leagues of distance between the two of you.

 

No doubt something Matthew already picked up on.

 

Her eyes scanned over you, actively. You didn't know what to say, your thoughts a barricade to any appropriate words.

 

You had to admit she suited your jacket.

 

Words boiled through your tepid lips without thought. "The new-look suits you."

 

For a second her eyes soften and you see the girl you used to be friends with, her finger tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.  

 

It disappears in a blink as she approaches, a cocked eyebrow as her palm caresses your face. Despite the lost time between you two, you were still easily taller than her.

 

"What happened to you?" Her face is almost expressionless, yet you can hear the concern lined in her throat. Mist threatens the edge of her eyes, but in a blink, it too is gone.

 

You step around her instead, going for a loose steamed potato. The heat prickles your fingertips as you toss the small potato into your mouth.

 

A bad idea, heat rolls through your mouth as you quickly try to eat through the warmth. "Damn that's hot," steam exits your mouth with each word, easing your discomfort if only slightly.

 

A slight smile eases onto your face.

 

She releases a beleaguered sigh. Her eyes narrow on your own, your smile fades and falter. A tired breath releases itself from your caged throat. Your eyes shudder shut at the memories before your focus returns to Gahyeon. "Hm... let's just say a  bad  relationship."

 

Her eyes soften once again as her fingers trace your jaw, you can't help but step back from her touch edging your back into the counter. 

 

Not from disgust or repulsion but from unfamiliarity or perhaps even fear.

 

She chuckles slightly before withdrawing her touch. She moves in a blur and everything is piled into a basket.

 

Your eyebrows knit together in surprise. Her hand waves towards you gesturing for you to follow her.

 

You quickly grab your worn knit sweater to protect you from the brisk cold touch of the night air. Your brain stumbles at her vehicle choice, your fingers trace each familiar groove and decal on the fuel tank.

 

Your bike, her bike now you suppose. 

 

It was good to see it in good condition. Arguably it was in better condition than when you had it. Freshly cleaned and radiant.

 

Her open palm slams against your chest as she buckles the basket into place. You're confused at the sudden contact until you feel your old keys to happiness. 

 

Your fingers tentatively grasp them, you were a different person now. You weren't the bright, confident person anymore, more of a damaged worn shell.

 

"You can drive if you want," her eyes still focused on securing the basket.

 

Her way of not pressuring you.

 

Your brain does its best to make an excuse but as your hands grip the handles you feel warmth flood your brain.

 

"Do you have a destination in mind?" your hands clasped over your helmet, your crown.

 

"Let's just see where you take us," a small smile dots her lips. You twist the key igniting the raging beast, the sound is music to your ears.

 

You relax into the seat, it felt like fresh air to your stale lungs. "Don't worry, I'll keep you warm," a cheeky grin that reminds you of high school. Her arms wrap around you and you feel at home.

 

As you glide across the old dated tarmac, you feel the love she put into your bike. At first, you thought you were out of practice, braking way too soon before a stop.

 

You quickly realise the brakes are brand new, too responsive to be the second-hand ones you were used to. The ride was smoother than you remember, new tires probably.

 

Lights blur together as you pick up speed on the motorway, nostalgic exhilaration fills your lungs and you almost feel unstoppable again. You do your best to take in new and old sites as you blaze past. 

 

Her grip tightens around you, pulling you closer like a tender embrace. Her head rests against your back, you feel your heart swell at the innocent gesture.

 

You reason it's because of your lack of human touch.

 

You didn't want to linger on thoughts of more.

 

Old memories boil to the top of your mind, the last time you'd driven your bike. A celebration for Gahyeon, top of her year.

 

Siyeon planned something originally, or at least that's what she said. Her forgetful nature had gotten ahead of her like usual and she ended up getting tied up with work.

 

You still remember the frown etched onto Gahyeon's face, more a grimace of annoyance instead of sadness. 

 

So you offered to do something. You didn't make money like Siyeon did, more out of stubborn loyalty to Roger than anything else.

 

You had taken her to an old forgotten lookout point that Roger had told you about. A secret you wanted to share with Siyeon but your days in town were numbered.

 

Her smile that night dwarfed the beautiful gleam of the city and the night sky. A small humble picnic was your meal that night, though you did manage to at least make some of her favourites with  some  help from Roger.

 

Your brain had forgotten your conversations that night in a scattered fog of happiness and laughter. You were worried when she became serious all of a sudden, offering a token of her appreciation. Not just for that night but all of the nights she struggled. 

 

A green knit sweater.

 

Your fingers run over your worn sweater, every knot and tear a comfort of your soul. Eventually you settle on her arm giving her a soft squeeze as you pull over.

 

Her grip tightens once more before releasing, her gaze avoids yours as she steps off the bike.

 

Your eyes settle on the view, your hometown reduced to nothing but tender lit night lights, there's on odd familiar comfort despite the years.

 

You help Gahyeon with her helmet, her eyes settle on you.

 

A smile dances onto your lips, there was nothing but tender warmth to be had in Gahyeon's company.

 

Despite her newfound cold exterior.

 

She coughs slightly, her eyes avoiding yours. Her fingers itch at the side of her head awkwardly. 

 

Her free hand gestures to the basket.

 

"Right, my bad." a chuckle leaves your lips, for the first time in a long time you don't feel tired. "Good work with the bike."

 

"Thanks," she smiles lightly, her eyes maintaining their distance from yours. 

 

She places the treasure trove of sustenance on top of a blanket, "It's been a long time since I was last here."

 

"Yeah? When was that?" You quirk an eyebrow as you settle down next to her.

 

Her eyes toss through the thoughts in her head, her hand thumbs her chin, "when I came with you."

 

You hum slightly, a tilt of your chin. "No one you wanted to share this spot with?"

 

She shakes her head as her hands rifle through the basket, she offers you a small container. 

 

Sweet potato, your eyebrows scrunch together. 

 

Something she actively disliked.

 

"What?" Concern laced her voice.

 

"I thought you hated sweet potato," your head tilts to the side.

 

"I do," she adds before smiling slightly. "I made it for you, Roger told me you liked them."

 

You're slightly taken aback by her kindness, you remember when she gave Handong an earful about sweet potatoes. 

 

You look at the container and a small sincere smile etched its way on your lips.

 

Thought and care, when was the last time you had received either of those?

 

The still-warm sweet potato nestles in the comfort of your hand between bites. You can't tell if it's because of the sweet potato or Gahyeon but you feel warm.

 

Happy almost.

 

"I think I prefer this being our spot too," you muse aloud, a cheeky smile between bites earns you a surprised look from Gahyeon.

 

A small smile as moonlight graces her face. Her head tilts in your direction. "I'm just glad to see you smiling like you used to."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"You know what I mean," her eyes still focused on the ocean of lights you called home, there's a solemn timber to her voice. "I almost didn't recognise you when you came into the store. You were so... sombre."

 

Her knees clutch desperately to her chest. "Even then it took Matthew a while to convince me to check up on you."

 

Regret laced her voice.

 

You chuckle lightly, hoping, wanting so desperately to lighten her sadness. "What can I say except I have bad taste in relationships?"

 

An awkward chuckle escapes her lips, yet she still smiles when her eyes meet yours. "Even I would treat you better."

 

There's a deep soft flicker of light in her eyes.

 

A joke no doubt, but she was right regardless.

 

The thought had drifted through your mind after she gave you the sweater. Well maybe not at that exact moment, more kindling before the exact thought.

 


 

The soft ocean of wool pooled in your hands. "...Did you wanna try driving?"

 

The words float through cold air. The way her eyes widened in surprise you would've thought she'd seen a dragon.

 

"Really?" her words were quiet and hopeful.

 

"I mean... if you don't mind me teaching you that is," you offer a confident smile.

 

"I'd like that."

 

 "I'll keep you on first gear for now until you get used to it." 

 

The bike rumbles to life as you pat the seat, you feel her shake slightly as you guide her into place, your hand clasps over hers. "The throttle is here on your right." 

 

You squeeze the brake lever above it. "Those are your brakes. The one on your left is the clutch but don't worry about that for now."

 

She nods her head slowly as she takes a deep breath. "So uh, just try it out and get used to it. I won't be far if anything goes wrong."

 

She's awkward and slow at first, something you find cute and endearing as her nerves causes the handlebars to shake from left to right. You can't help but smile as she screams slightly anytime anything looks like it's going vaguely fast.

 

To be fair your tires weren't the greatest on grass.

 

Her pink hair flutters in the breeze and she picks up speed, the picture of elegance until you watch your bike lock-up heading off the edge of the lookout, your legs kick into action instantly.

 

Your fingers deftly wrest control from Gahyeon as you rest your head on her shoulder. 

 

Gahyeon would be fine at least, the question was if you could stop your bike from going off the edge. 

 

You instantly let go of the brake, hoping you'd get enough traction to change course. You feel the bike grip against the floor once again as you squeeze the brake again, lightly this time.

 

Just like Roger taught you.

 

You whip the handlebars to the right in a desperate plea to correct course. You release a clutched breath as your bike obeys.

 

You quickly turn off your bike and tear Gahyeon out of your seat in a single smooth motion. Well, it was sort of smooth, as you stumble backwards narrowly avoiding your bike as it falls over.

 

Your landing is well... rough, well as rough as grass can be. You make sure to cushion Gahyeon as much as you can, even if it is a small fall.

 

You should've remembered Roger's first lesson.

 

Never hit the brakes too hard.

 

You didn't realise how hard you were clutching Gahyeon, her pink hair splayed on your chest. She lifts her face from your chest, worries etched into her eyes. 

 

You just chuckle as she nestles in your embrace, a soft smiles peers onto her luscious lips.

 

Your eyes lock and it's the spark that almost ignites your heart.

 


 

"I always thought you'd end up with my sister," her words snap you back to the present. "It would've been better for you."

 

So many questions dot your mind, why didn't you ever make a move on Siyeon?

 

You'd been interested in her for the longest time but at what point had your thoughts drifted to Gahyeon? 

 

Your hand snakes its way through her knees to one of her hands grasping it softly. 

 

She frowns softly.

 

"I liked your sister for a long time. But eventually..? I just got over it." 

 

She scoffs slightly at your words, there's a twist of anger and frustration, her gaze shifts back to the city lights.

 

Though you do catch a glimpse of the mist welling up in her eyes.

 

A deep ragged slow breath is all you catch from her, it tears at you like jagged ice.

 

There's a swell of something in her breath, a... sombre courage.

 

"You know..." Her words are soft, barely held together. "...I had a crush on you ever since Matthew used to babysit the three of us."

 

A jagged knife to your heart, it's searing edge ignores old scars.

 

Another slow ragged breath, you squeeze her hand.

 

A small comfort.

 

"It hurt so much watching you fall for Siyeon."

 

Your fingers slowly find the gaps between her fingers. "Why'd you stop having a crush on me?" your words, soft and delicate like your touch.

 

Her breathing settles if only for a moment. "Because... I fell in love."

 

Your heart sinks at her words. Maybe you had more in common than you thought. Clouds boom to life above you, rain slowly begins to drizzle down.

 

Yet you still squeeze her had, she needed to get it out of her system.

 

"When... when did you fall in love?" you pulled her closer to you, her eyes still focused on the sea of lights even as rain began to pour.

 

"Not long after you left," her eyes shifted back to you rain marring her cheeks. A frown etched onto her face as rain worked its way through her hair.

 

"When you left I realised," her voice cracks, a desperate plea from her own body to stop. To keep silent her pain.

 

Yet she fights through ragged breaths, through waves of sadness into the howling abyss of her own heart. "How hopelessly in love with you I was."

 

Tears stained her face, not rain.

 

Turmoil wracks through as sobs beg to be heard. 

 

Her voice wavers like a flag in a storm. "I wanted you to notice me so badly. Not as Siyeon's kid sister but as Gahyeon." 

 

"But I realised you'd never look at me like that. So I focused on being me, forgetting about you like you forgot about me."

 

Your hand caresses her face as your thumb works away tears, lost in the abyss of her own sadness.

 

"It was hard... you were my rock, my safe place when my family was being fucked up. You were always there even when Siyeon started becoming a workaholic, even if I needed someone to talk to at three in the morning."

 

Tears flooded from her eyes as her breathing became ragged once again. Rain clings to your skin through your soaked clothes. "I wanted so badly to ignore you when you came back, to prove to myself I didn't need you in my life anymore."

 

You pull her into a tight embrace as your fingers run through her hair. You hush her softly as you rock back and forth. "It's okay, you don't owe me anything."

 

She sobs lightly into your already soaked sweater before breaking away. "But seeing you so hurt, so damaged broke my heart more than my unrequited love."

 

Your hands cup her cheeks pulling her focus into your eyes. "Who said your love was unrequited?" Your rain-soaked hair clung to your face.

 

A look of bewilderment and surprise flashes through her features. A cackle of lightning, reveals you both, highlighted by sapphire radiance.

 

She was beautiful.

 

"Did you ever ask me?" A teasing smile crosses your lips. "I don't know when it happened, but at some point, all I could think about was you not Siyeon."

 

Her eyes scan over yours, searching for even a hint of a lie. "Why didn't you tell me?" There's almost a begging whine to her voice, dragged over the coals of wracked sobs. "We could've saved each other from heartbreak."

 

You feel her fist slam against your shoulder. Worry flows through veins, worried that she still held bad feelings.

 

Yet she pulls you in with one solid smooth motion. 

 

Her lips envelop yours in a sweet luscious embrace. Her fingers run through your soaked hair, sparking sweet ecstasy in your brain from her gentle touch.

 

She pulls away for the briefest moment, her eyes alight with hope and longing. Her nose rests against yours, you're surprised at the happiness itching at your heart. "I thought it was obvious."

 

A soft laugh escapes your soft lips.

 

"Love makes you dumb," a soft whisper as you pull her into another kiss, you feel her lips smile into yours.

 

"You are pretty dumb." 

 

Even in the cold winter rain, you felt warm in her loving embrace. Her love would make sure of it.

 

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