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Akito and Tsukasa’s relationship was still a work in progress.
Well - it’s not like there hasn’t been any. They know that they like each other, yes, and they most certainly do things that ‘friends’ wouldn’t do-
-like kissing. To them, it felt like a distant memory despite it not being that long ago - and it had only been a few days since then.
So in short, they’re most definitely in-love, and have no clue on what they are.
When Akito asked, Tsukasa only hummed, telling him that they could be whatever he wanted them to be, Akito didn’t know if he’d want Tsukasa to trust him with labeling their relationship, so he never brought it up ever again afterwards.
…Now they’re back at stage one. Just perfect.
Once again, they were in the classroom again, this time, with Tsukasa teaching Akito to play another short and simple song. Thanks to his inability to concentrate, however, all Akito could think of was the feeling of having Tsukasa’s palms over his hands, and really, he doesn’t think he could actually get used to this.
Distracted, Akito yet again gets another note wrong. He grumbles, cursing himself and most importantly, Tenma Tsukasa for making him feel that way.
“I can’t get it right,” Akito sighs, “Piano’s hard. How do you do it?” He laments, leaning his head sideways to rest on Tsukasa’s shoulder.
Momentarily, he feels him start to tense up and Akito realizes just how casually he just leaned his head on Tsukasa.
“Oh,” his ears were beginning to turn red, “I’m sorry. Is this… alright?”
Tsukasa relaxes at that, and Akito quietly takes it as a win.
“It’s all good, Akito!” assured Tsukasa. The feeling of his hair on his neck began to tickle, but Tsukasa thought that he could bear it for the time being. Just because it was Akito.
“My key to having some level of skill with playing the piano is simply just a lot of dedication. No more no less,” Tsukasa begins to explain, and he had Akito’s full attention already.
He turns to where his palms were resting on top of his and squeezes them with the smallest amount of pressure, gently, “It took me years to perfect and hone my piano skills, so it’ll be a long road before you’ll be able to play as well.”
Akito smiles against Tsukasa’s shoulder, “You must’ve really been dedicated to be this good, then,” he complimented, sinking further into his warmth. Tsukasa bashfully laughs, “Thank you, Akito,” and it was genuine.
A few seconds passed before Akito’s eyes landed on the piano keys. Their hands that were previously resting on each other had now slipped to intertwine their fingers.
It was peaceful. Akito would never throw this moment away, no matter what.
He was about to close his eyes, the feeling of tranquility rushing over him like a tidal wave. Then, he vaguely registers the feeling of Tsukasa carding his hand through his hair, straightening the strands, and Akito goes back to his thought earlier, agreeing with it once again,
Yeah, I could never get used to this.
Though, that didn’t mean that he couldn’t get started getting used to it now.
Letting out a soft and content sigh, Akito snuggles closer to Tsukasa’s side, trying to get as much warmth from his shining star as possible.
His shining star, huh. Akito liked the sound of that.
Tsukasa chuckles to himself at the sight of Akito being out like a light in no more than a minute after closing his eyes, though, a part of him is concerned about how much sleep that he’s been getting every night, but that wasn’t his place to assume, so he should just let the topic slide. For now, anyway.
He’d have to address it sooner or later - it’d be a growing issue if Akito started showing up even more sleep deprived by the day, and Tsukasa can’t have that. He wants to ensure that he’s taking care of himself as much as possible.
Tsukasa leans against Akito’s head on his shoulder, humming. The faint melody of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star fills the quiet space between them, and it wasn’t long until he eventually fell asleep as well.
Chests rising and falling in unison, the light covers them like a blanket beneath the afternoon glow. Tsukasa’s hand was still entangled in Akito’s hair, while the other rested above his right, encompassing it with the intention of conveying that feeling of security to the boy that’s currently sleeping on him.
Like this, they both felt safe. Even asleep, they can enjoy their rest with zero worries, because they’ll wake up knowing that the other will still be there by then.
With them.
Feeling them whenever their shoulders would bump against the other as familiar laughter brought them solace that one could never bring.
Like this, they’re at home with one another.
They wouldn’t want to have it any other way.
After a while of enjoying the presence of each other in their domestic slumber, Akito awakes first.
He slurs out a string of incomprehensible words, slowly starting to stir awake. Blinking his eyes open, he tries to get as much sleep out of his system as he could before trailing to land on the weight slumped on one side of his body.
“...Tsukasa-senpai…?” he mumbled out, making out the feeling of his cheek on his hair, messing it up with each small movement.
Nestling into his neck once more, Akito chooses to enjoy this moment of domesticity for once. It was nice. More than nice, even. A meek smile forms to accompany his rose-dusted face.
With Tsukasa, Akito feels more like himself. It’s funny, considering how his feelings developed solely from love at first sight, but at this point, he could care less. All that matters is that he’s happy now, right?
Tsukasa makes him happy. That’s what counts.
Exploring the different sides that Tsukasa had whenever he got his hands on some piano keys would always be an eventful experience. It was an up-and-down adventure to get to know his upperclassman all over again, and it shined a new light on Tsukasa that Akito would have never thought of otherwise.
Seeing him play as Torpe for the very first time was what struck the chord for him. Back then, he was unaware about the way he acted.
‘Not bad’, he thought, but he knew that that wasn’t all that there was deep down.
Akito’s too observant for his own good, so he couldn’t help but notice the subtle melancholic undertones from the play that felt all too real for it just to be acting.
It was completely different compared to what they’d usually do in Phoenix Wonderland, but they still managed to make it uplifting enough to bring a hopeful smile on Akito’s face, and even a tearful one on Toya’s.
That was a story for another day, however.
That day, Tsukasa mesmerized Akito with how well he delivered his performance, but a part of him saw how vulnerable he looked when he was playing the piano.
To him, the look on Tsukasa’s face on the day of the show was almost… painful.
The expression he wore looked too genuine, and it seemed as though that was the moment of Tsukasa really resonating with his character. It burns a hole in Akito’s heart to think about, but because of that, he knew that there was way more to Tsukasa than it seems like on a surface level.
He’s seen the side of Tsukasa that he puts on display for the people around him. The sides of the loud and egocentric Tsukasa as well as the caring yet a bit overprotective older sibling Tsukasa were sides that Akito knew well.
In this recent series of events, Akito has gotten to know the side of Tsukasa that’s at peace, content with what he’s doing and does an exceptional job at impressing Akito each and every single time he plays.
Now, he’s starting to recognize the side of Tsukasa that’s lonely, the ‘version’ of him that was the empty cocoon used to turn him into the amazing and captivating star that Akito has come to know and love.
Akito couldn’t lie when he says that he’s curious to see what that side of Tsukasa was like.
He wanted to be familiar with all his sides, because he still loves Tenma Tsukasa, regardless of what kind of act he’s putting on for him.
The sound of someone mumbling something beneath their breath brings Akito’s attention back to reality.
“Mmh… Akito?” Tsukasa garbles out, and Akito resists the urge to move because of how adorable the sound of his name coming from a half-asleep Tsukasa was.
“Morning, senpai,” he gingerly utters, voice thick with sweet caramel, almost sweet enough to make Tsukasa fall back asleep all over again.
Tsukasa moves his hands to rub at his eyes, and Akito already begins to miss the comfortable weight of his fingers on his hair.
“Have we been asleep for long?” Tsukasa asks, and Akito isn’t sure. He shrugs as an answer instead, but takes note of how the skies were still clear outside, so it didn’t seem like their nap lasted long.
Akito wants to go back to sleep. Now.
It was really easy for him to fall back asleep as well, with how cozy the room felt, but he just couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes and let the sleep take him over.
After all, even though he was more than happy to fall asleep and wake up in the arms of Tsukasa beneath the radiating light of the sun setting, bleeding in through closed curtains, Akito thinks that he’d much rather spend time with Tsukasa awake, so he could make more vivid memories through them.
If he falls asleep now, the day will be over before he knew it, and he doesn’t know how much more time he and Tsukasa got to have for themselves until moments like these, shared with the person he loves, will fall from his hands, like sand slipping away from one’s fingers.
He doesn’t ever want this to end, but deep down, he knows that nothing lasts forever, and that it’d be the worst realization that he’d have to go through.
“Akito?” Tsukasa said after a moment of silence falling between them.
Though, Akito thinks, even as time keeps chipping away as each minute passes, he’s set on making every little second he has with Tsukasa count - starting today.
“Hey, Akito,” Tsukasa says louder this time, effectively snapping Akito back from his thoughts, “Are you okay?” he asked him, firm yet holding nothing but unwavering gentleness in his voice.
He doesn’t know how he should answer him.
So he decides to stray away from the truth.
“I’m fine,” he lies through his teeth, “It’s nothing you shouldn’t worry about.”
Tsukasa doesn’t move from their position, but Akito could already tell that there’s an unconvinced look on Tsukasa’s face.
He doesn’t blame him.
An actor can’t be fooled by other acts.
Instead of calling him out on the obvious lie, however, Tsukasa shuffles from his spot, moving them both so that they could look at each other eye to eye, face to face.
Their hands were still entangled in the grasps of one another.
Eventually, Tsukasa moves his hands up, and up, and up to cup Akito’s face, tracing the dark marks under his eyes and above his freckle-dusted cheeks. He’s surprised by the sudden touch, but only for a moment, sinking into Tsukasa almost instantly.
He only faintly makes out the motion of Tsukasa trying to brush something off his face, but he doesn’t know what.
“Have you been getting enough sleep lately?” Tsukasa questions, with no hint of accusation, only curiosity laced with a tinge of worry.
Akito didn’t know where he was going with this.
“Um,” he considers his reply to him this time, “Yeah.”
He hates how easily the lie comes rolling off his tongue.
He hates it even more seeing the way Tsukasa’s lips morphed into a frown after he says that.
“Your eyebags tell a different story,” muttered Tsukasa, and that’s when Akito realizes, oh. So that’s what he’s been trying to wipe off - and suddenly, a feeling of guilt wells inside him.
He doesn’t want to lie to Tsukasa. He really doesn’t, because that’ll make it seem as though he didn’t trust him, and he doesn’t want that.
Akito didn’t want to lie to him, and yet his mouth seemed to move on its own.
“They’re no big deal,” stop lying, “they’ll disappear soon enough, so ‘t’s alright,” no, it’s not alright, I shouldn’t be lying to him, “So please, don’t worry about me, senpai.”
“Akito,” he looks up at Tsukasa, stopping his rambling.
“...Yeah?”
“You’re crying.”
Momentarily, time stops. Akito thought,
Ah. Was he? Was he crying?
His eyes stung, and his shining star was starting to appear blurrier and blurrier. That alone was already an answer to his question.
So he was.
“Sorry,” he squeezes out, trying to wipe his eyes himself, but Tsukasa was a step ahead of him, brushing away his tears before they started cascading down his cheeks.
Tsukasa didn’t mind the way Akito’s frame shook, nor did he mind the way he was trying to calm himself down through panicked breaths, only to result in small hiccups coming from him. He didn’t mind at all.
He just needed to be there for him, listening for when he wants to speak, or simply just staying if he didn’t want to voice his thoughts.
“I just,” Akito hurriedly gasped for air, “I just hate how the lies spill out like that,” and one hand drops from his face to his back, carefully tracing stars to coax him out of it, giving him the okay to continue.
“I want to be honest with you,” Akito confesses, “but it’s hard to even be honest with myself.”
“It’s okay,” Tsukasa tells him, “it’s okay if you don’t trust me enough to-”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” the retort comes quick, and Akito couldn’t tell if it was because of how unstable he was or if it was that sane part of him that just wouldn’t allow Tsukasa to think that he doesn’t trust him, much less, hates him again.
He takes a minute to compose himself. Tsukasa lets him.
Akito takes in deep breaths, albeit shaky, he was better put together than he was a while ago.
He thinks that he’s ready to speak again once the dust has settled down.
Voice unusually quiet, Akito starts talking, “I don’t want you to think that I don’t trust you,” he tries once more, and Tsukasa nods in understanding, with no intention of cutting him off until he’s finished.
Akito couldn’t be more grateful for him.
“I don’t even fully understand it myself. Logically, I know that it doesn’t hurt to be honest with you,” he whispered, “but some part of me is stopping all the truth from coming out.”
There.
It was all in the open now.
Throughout this, Tsukasa never stopped tracing shapes on his back, and Akito thinks that that was probably for the best. It was one of the things keeping him grounded at that point.
“I just don’t get it,” Akito speaks again, and Tsukasa’s eyes are on him, still glinting with that comforting light, “How are you able to keep this up?”
It was quiet afterwards.
Tsukasa takes his chances.
“Keep what up?”
Akito’s eyes slip shut, “Y’know,” he tries to explain, re-opening his eyelids to look at the boy sitting directly across him, “this,” he gestures at Tsukasa.
“How are you still so… nice to me?”
He didn’t know how Tsukasa would react to that. He expected somewhat of a negative reaction, but smiling at him was far from what he had feared, nor did he expect the answer that he had to his question.
“I thought that was already obvious,” replied Tsukasa, low but as sweet as ever, but the answer confuses him. It wasn’t enough to settle down his nerves. What does he mean?
“I still don’t get it,” and ah, his voice is starting to crack again, “I keep messing up whenever you try to teach me how to play, and I even made you think that I hated you at some point,” and it all came tumbling out.
“So why do you even bother?”
He could feel his eyes beginning to get wet again.
Akito really didn’t wanna cry in front of Tsukasa for the second time.
“Like I said,” Akito’s surprised by how collected Tsukasa still was, especially compared to him, “the answer to your question is already as clear as day,” and Akito was about to reply with another what does that even mean, before he’s stopped by the feeling of Tsukasa moving his hand on his face down to the tip of his chin, tilting it upwards.
What awaited him next had Akito doubling down, as if he was reliving their first encounter.
Soft lips enveloping his own chapped ones, Akito could feel Tsukasa smiling against him as they shared a kiss, with the hand on his back snaking up to tip the nape of his neck forward. As if it was like magic, all the thoughts that threatened to bubble up in his mind were dispersed as quickly as they were formed.
Pulling away felt like waking up from a good dream and finding yourself anticipating for more. That was exactly what Akito felt like then.
His breath stuttered in his chest and he almost fell into Tsukasa’s hold, but the firm grasp that he had on him prevented him from doing so.
Now, it was just the two of them and no one else.
“I say that the answer is obvious because I love you, Akito,” Tsukasa takes a stray strand of Akito’s har in his hand and tucks it behind his ear, “I don’t care if you mess up whenever we play, because the thought that you wanted to try for me is already enough,” he murmurs, pulling Akito in for a hug.
“I don’t care that you hide things from me, because we aren’t a perfect relationship. I can’t possibly expect you to lay everything about yourself bare and exposed in front of me to see,” Akito wanted to cry, but for another reason this time. Tsukasa wasn’t done yet, however.
“It’s okay that you keep things from me, because so do I.”
That piques Akito’s interest, but he decides to save that for next time.
“Y’know what, Akito?” Tsukasa asked, and he shook his head, gratified by the amount of raw emotion coming from him, “It’s okay that I once thought you hated me, too.”
Akito thought that he was going insane when he heard that. He wanted to fight back, tell him how the fuck is that okay under any means?
It turns out that he didn’t need to.
“It’s okay, because although I was once under the impression that you had wanted nothing to do with me,” Akito’s throat starts clogging up, and he couldn’t find his voice to desperately convince Tsukasa that that wasn’t true. That’s not how he felt now, not anymore, accompanied by the uncomfortable knot in his stomach.
“Now, I know that it’s different. Now, I know that you love me, and I’m more than happy to return that love tenfold. That’s why it’s okay.”
The knot comes undone.
Akito has never felt more loved in one sitting before.
“So that’s why,” Tsukasa continues, with Akito tightly gripping the fabric of his sweater, fists curled up into balls, “don’t ever feel bad for feeling the need to keep things to yourself, because I won’t ever be mad. A little hurt, yes, but I’ll always understand.”
That’s it.
Akito pulls away from the hug and kisses Tsukasa as hard as he could.
It’s messy, far from perfect, but that was fine by them. Even with how their teeth are painfully clashing against each other, even with how sloppy it was, it was okay.
They had each other - they love each other, and that was already more than enough for them.
“Thank you,” Akito murmurs against his lips, shortly followed by an, “I love you. So much.”
“I love you, too.” Those four words stuck with him for the entire day.
The rest of their afternoon afterwards was spent cuddled up against each other, arm over arm, leg over leg, piano long forgotten since their heart-to-heart, and Akito thought about how stupid he was for ever letting himself forget for a second that Tsukasa loves him. He loves him, too, and he would never doubt it for the rest of his life.