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Bellamy knew Jasper was affectionate. He had seen his arm draped across Monty's shoulders, the two of them sitting so close to each other that Octavia joked that they were glues together. Still, he couldn't help but tense up when Jasper hugged him.
"Long way from whatever the hell you want," Jasper said, smiling, his eyes getting that glassy quality they always got when he was on the verge of crying. Bellamy trusted Jasper, but moments like this reminded him how young, how vulnerable Jasper was. How young they all were. That was half of the reason why Bellamy knew he had to trade himself for Jasper- he could imagine the boy looking up, terrified, at Murphy, his lip trembling and tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes, andcouldn't let himself turn away. He couldn't bear the thought of Murphy finding a way to hurt Jasper in order to get back at Bellamy. Jasper had grown up a lot, and no one would doubt his bravery, but he was still just a boy who was afraid of sharp objects and chased after girls, oblivious that the one who really loved him was always right next to him. Bellamy refused to let Jasper or Monty down, especially after their rocky beginning. He owed them- both of them. He may have only threatened to kill Jasper, but he knew now, a threat to one of the pair was a threat to the other. Kill one of them, and the other would die a little, too.
Bellamy knew Jasper was affectionate. But still, when he woke up in the middle of the night on the ground of the forest to find Jasper plastered against him, his head lying on his shoulder, he couldn't help but jolt away a little before remembering himself.
"Monty?" Murmured Jasper, twitching in his sleep. His breathing became fast, frantic.
"Monty!" He cried out, kicking Bellamy in his sleep.
Overwhelmed by a sense of brotherly caring, Bellamy grabbed Jasper's arm.
"Hey!"
Jasper's eyes fluttered open, and Bellamy could see tears glistening on his cheeks. His breathing was tagged.
"Hey. It's OK. Just a dream," Bellamy said gruffly. Jasper sniffed audibly, his whole body shaking. Reluctantly, Bellamy curled his arm around the younger boy's shoulder, rubbing his shoulder soothingly.
"I just- I miss Monty," Jasper whispered, his voice trembling. There where two sides to Jasper, Bellamy knew. One was the side that tried to impress his sister and told stories to girls sitting around the campfire, trying desperately to be noticed. The other side was the scared, wide-eyed boy curled against his side, terrified for his friends, for his own life. The boy that had been thrashing against the metal table as Clarke cut away at his skin, crying out and sobbing and, Bellamy remembered, a mere nuisance to him at the time, a lost cause. The boy that had said, "I'd go to hell to save her", his face pale and scared, but determined. Jasper wasn't a goofy boy trying hopelessly to woo his sister- he was a damaged child trying to hide how wrecked he was behind a wide smile, threatening to collapse into pieces at any time. Bellamy knew that now.
He pulled Jasper closer, letting the boy rest his head against his chest. He had seen Monty and Jasper in the same position many times; although everyone pretended they didn't know, enough people had walked into their tent at bad times to know Jasper often left his own bed for Monty's. Nightmares.
And everyone but Jasper knew how much it hurt Monty, to hold his friend so close and yet not be able to call Jasper his. Jasper needed human touch- he couldn't stay on his own, he got twitchy and nervous. One night, when Monty was drunk, or high, or maybe just really, really tired, he had loudly recounted to the whole camp the story of how he met Jasper. Jasper had been locked into a storage closet. When Monty finally heard him yelling hoarsely and pounding on the door, Jasper had already been there for hours. He had practically collapsed into Monty's arms, murmuring something stupid about how good Monty's hair smelled.
That was another thing about Monty- as much as he despised anyone even coming close to touching him, and it was a well-known fact that anyone trying to hug him had a death wish, he was always the first to run to Jasper's side, the first to comfort him, the first to wrap his arms around Jasper's scrawny shoulders. Everyone- everyone, that is, but Jasper, could see how Monty mooned over the boy like he was fire and he desperately wanted to be burned. And now Monty was gone, and Jasper had- well- no one. No wonder he had been such a nervous wreck for the past few days. His other half was missing.
When they couldn't find them, Bellamy had to practically drag a screaming Jasper back to camp. He could tell, then, that Jasper knew he couldn't survive without Monty.
Or he thought he could tell.
Jasper came into his tent, playing with his jacket zipper nervously.
"I- I'm sorry."
His eyes were downcast, his unruly brown hair hanging down across his face.
"It's OK. Jasper? Listen to me. It's alright. If they're out there, they'll be fighting just as hard to get back to us. You know Monty would never-"
Bellamy stopped mid-sentence, noticing Jasper's shaking shoulders. His head hung low, so Bellamy couldn't see his face. Bellamy strode towards him, wrapping an arm around the younger boy's shoulder, and tilting his face up with his other hand. Surprisingly, Jasper's face was completely dry, but colored chalk white.
"Jasper," Bellamy said gently. "If Monty's alive, there is no way in hell you won't find your way back to him."
Suddenly, Jasper leaned forward, tentatively bringing his lips to Bellamy's, one of his hands rising up towards the older boy's face, hovering uncertainly in the air. Bellamy wrenched himself back, reflexively pushing Jasper away. Jasper blinked. "I- I'm sorry- I should- I should go."
He tripped over his feet, stumbling a little.
"Wait!" Bellamy grabbed Jasper's arm. Jasper tensed up, like he was expecting to be hit.
"Jasper..." Bellamy suddenly felt extremely awkward. "Do you...ah...like guys?"
Jasper didn't say anything, twitching a little.
Bellamy sighed. "Jasper, this is about Monty, not me, isn't it? I get it, okay? You miss Monty."
"Monty and I aren't together," Jasper said quietly, a slight edge in his voice. "Monty likes...Miller."
He practically spat out the name. Inside his head, Bellamy groaned. Of course he would have to be the one in the middle of all this.
"Miller? Really? Since when have they talked to each other for more than two seconds?" The idea of the rule-following, conservative Miller being chased after by Monty was almost too ridiculous.
Jasper shrugged silently. Bellamy sighed.
"Look, Jasper, everyone in camp knows Monty has a thing for you."
Bellamy sighed, exasperated. "Look, if we find them, you better get this whole thing straightened out so the rest of the camp can finally rest in peace knowing you two idiots have finally figured it out."
Jasper laughed shakily. "Thanks, Bellamy. For everything."
When Bellamy next talked to Jasper, he was holding his arms behind his back and fearing for both of their lives. But Monty was there. And as long as Jasper and Monty were together, there was a chance that maybe- just maybe- everything would be alright.