Chapter Text
Early September 1843
The wails of an infant.
The petty bickering of a man and his wife.
The uncomfortably awkward rhythmic creaks of a metal bed frame.
For months, those were the various sounds that Anna had heard most nights at all hours. Tonight was no different, as her sleep was interrupted once more by the cries of the baby in the next room over.
She sighed, blinking away remnants of sleep to barely lift her head from her pillow. What remained of the night’s moonlight was just enough for her to find the pocket watch on the far bedside table. Dare she look at the time? Reaching for it would be a lot of effort… more than it would probably be worth. If she laid there long enough, the crying would stop, and the silence throughout the rest of the boarding house would allow her to actually hear the ticking and chiming of the grandfather clock out in the hallway.
But the crying did not stop. And it didn’t seem like the baby’s mother was too keen on getting up and quieting the child, either.
Is one good night’s sleep so much to ask for??
Frustrated, Anna rolled partially to her left and reached over her snoozing husband to grab for the watch. It scraped loudly against the table surface as she yanked the chain to let the watch fall into her waiting hand. It was an awkward hold, and the object ended up slipping from her fingers as she tried to pry it open. Before it could make its hard landing on the floor, a larger hand suddenly came up and caught it for her. Her eyes immediately shifted to her companion’s face. His eyes were open, but just barely. He looked ready to doze back off at any moment.
“My Love…” Hans’ voice droned quietly as he replaced his watch back onto the table where it belonged, “what’s wrong?”
“I can’t sleep…” Almost immediately after the words were out of her mouth, his arm circled around her back and pulled her closer, close enough for her to lay her head on his chest. It didn’t take much effort on his part. The bed was just wide enough for them to both lay side by side with about a few inches of space between them. Once settled in place, his other hand found one of hers and grasped it gently, and after a few seconds, she could feel his thumb rubbing little circles into her skin.
“Ignore the child…” he murmured to her. “Focus on something else.”
“It’s kinda hard when she’s wailing her lungs off…” Anna grumbled out loud, though it was more to herself. The remark got a slight chuckle out of him and should feel his chest rumbling beneath her. “I don’t know how you do it….”
“Do what?”
“Sleep soundly? Between that baby, Mr. and Mrs. Wilkes arguing about next week’s menu, and the…the… you know what going on right above us all the time—“
Almost like clockwork, the familiar metal creaking sound was suddenly heard upstairs. Slow at first, then the scraping sound got louder, mixed in with some very distinguishable grunts and moans.
“—ohmygawd….” She cried and buried her head into his sleep shirt.
Hans chuckled some more and glanced at the ceiling. “Someone is frisky tonight…”
“ Makeiiiiitstoooop .” Anna’s muffled voice groaned. “ Please…. ”
Hans’ hand rubbed up and down her back and he turned his head back down to press a kiss into her hair. “Just close your eyes, Darling. Take a deep breath, forget all about them and focus on me instead. The sound of my voice… the beating of my heart….” His words transitioned into soft humming— the melody of one of the lullabies she often sang to herself to fall asleep.
She shifted slightly in his embrace and forced her eyes closed for a few minutes before relieving some of the excess pressure on her eyelids. Hans was right, and as usual, his soothing presence was the biggest comfort she could ever ask for. The one-handed back massage really did make her feel more relaxed than she was mere minutes ago. And the warmth from the blanket and his body heat enveloped her and made her feel safe and content. She wasn’t sure how much time actually went by, but eventually it didn’t even register when Hans’ humming faded off, the child stopped crying, or when the people upstairs finished their late-night intercourse. By then, all she could feel and hear were his gentle hands on her, and the light thumping coming from his chest. Everything else forgotten, sleep overcame her once more.
Anna had found that the moments of her and Hans going to sleep and then waking up in the morning were their most cherished and private times of day. In the older, earlier days of traveling, back when their marital vows and false names were merely acts for show, the evening and morning pillow talks were their only chance to be themselves; to talk about things or their families from back home…even topics as mundane as current events in Arendelle or the Southern Isles. Those were the only times they would even use their real names to address each other.
But that was a time long, long gone, now. She couldn’t even remember the last time either of them actually addressed each other by their true, regal identities, and she really missed it. Hans had gotten into the habit of using pet names for her for everything. She became his ‘darling’, ‘angel’, ‘love’, or her personal favorite, his ‘sunshine’. But she hardly felt anything related to the sun these days. Bubbling, energetic Anna of Arendelle no longer existed. She was replaced with the quiet, shy and soft spoken Marit Wagner, a mere housewife. And Hans… a once charismatic prince of the great Westergaard lineage was now reduced to Nikolai (Nikki ) Wagner— a man with incredibly useful life skills— and ironically, incapable of using any of them to land a permanent occupation.
Early each day, as soon as City Hall opened, he would be there to check the message boards for needed work. His days were spent jumping from odd job to job for any and every bit of coin he could get his hands on. As they both discovered, money was the key to prosperity for the common, working class. Unfortunately, frugality was a difficult lesson for Anna to learn when having to go out and buy necessities for them in the early days. Clothing was expensive. And while the boarding house they stayed in offered meals as part of their rent, the food was often distributed unfairly, on a first come, first serve basis. Granted, it was usually disgusting as well (according to her personal tastes, anyway). Hans would stomach the worst of the meal and leave her the safer portions to eat. Often when he believed she wasn’t consuming enough during the week, he would whisk her away to some of the local taverns for some proper suppers. Small luxuries, but indeed costly ones.
Anna sighed as she dressed for the day. After a turbulent night’s rest, she was determined to get out and spend as little time at home as she could. If that meant walking idly up and down the streets and feeding crumbs to the ducklings in the park, so be it. Anything would be better than sitting around in their room, alone, and twiddling her thumbs all day long. After grabbing her outerwear, she closed and locked her and Hans’ door behind her and hurried downstairs.
She had finished adjusting her bonnet and tugging on her gloves when she sensed a pair of eyes on her. Slowly turning around, she felt her stomach drop. Mr. Lionel Roach was standing against the front check-in counter, smoking his pipe and eyeing her up and down. God, she couldn’t stand him. As a personal friend of the house owner, he got away with anything and everything. If that wasn’t bad enough, he was by far the most lecherous tenant in the house, always loitering near the front desk and sitting areas during the day, and by the ladies’ washroom at night. He’s frightened her off from her baths or time in the common areas on more than one occasion. And he always seemed to catch sight of her when Hans was conveniently absent. His room was located right across from hers. It wouldn’t surprise her one bit if he timed Hans’ departures and returns like clockwork for that very reason. The thought gave her shivers.
Disgusting-good-for-nothing-creep!
“Well hello there, Mrs. Wagner,” he purred to her. “Where are you off to?”
“ Good day.” Anna said through gritted teeth and quickly moved past him without another word. He didn’t deserve her pleasantries, but she had an image to protect.
Once outside in the sunshine, she took in a deep breath and looked up towards the sky. The bright blue and puffy clouds instantly helped raise her spirits, and she took off down the street, glancing over her shoulder a few times until she turned the first corner. She had to make sure Mr. Roach didn’t decide to follow her.
The boarding house was on the poorer side of the city, and all of her planned destinations were a bit of a trek away. But the temperature was just right for an early autumn day. The closer she got to the center of Etonsburg, the busier the streets became. At every corner, she glanced up and down the intersection. There was always the chance she would catch sight of her husband roaming around. It was always a hope to see him hard at work, but no luck thus far.
The shops on Main Street were her favorite places to visit. Between both sides, there was the baker, the confectionary shop, the bookseller– those were her top three— and the ones to do the most damage to her purse. Thankfully by now, she learned to spend wisely. Instead of an entire box of sweets, she’s limited herself to just a few pieces, and only if Hans had a decent week’s payload. And to her delight, the bookseller also doubled as a library. She spent a good few summer days resting against a tree in the park with her nose in a borrowed romance novel or two.
After taking her time making the rounds through the different stores--and proud of herself for not spending any money, she found herself on the corner of Main and Sycamore Streets where a vibrant flower cart caught her attention. The cart was always covered in various colored blooms. Today an entire section was completely filled with large, beautiful sunflowers. She wasn’t used to seeing them so vibrant this late in the season, so naturally she couldn’t resist walking over to examine them.
“Good day, Miss!” The elder woman smiled and greeted her warmly when Anna approached. “Would you care for some flora today?”
Anna beamed at her. “I might have to take you up on the offer…” She said and reached into her skirt pocket for her purse, “Sunflowers are my favorites! How much are they?”
“The sunflower stems are two bronze lumes, and the other singles are one lume each. Premade bouquets are two silver bons a piece.”
Anna frowned. She only had a small handful of bons left, and that had to last her the rest of the week for their rent. There was a good bit of lumes to spare, but she imagined that Hans wouldn’t be too pleased with her if he found out she spent so much money on mere flowers. “I guess I’ll just take two sunflowers.”
“Are you sure? There’s a great many stems that would pair well as a bouquet…”
“I’m sure they would. They’re all so beautiful,” Anna said fondly, “but I probably shouldn’t overdo it.” As she fumbled to hand over her money, another hand jutted out beside hers and dropped silver into the vendor’s waiting hands.
“ What she really means is that she wants that big bouquet at the end .”
Anna knew that voice! She quickly turned around and gasped. “Nikki!!” Hans stood right behind her with a forced smile across his features, though most of it was obscured by the overgrown flowers hanging off the cart. “What are you doing here?”
“Trying— and failing to beat you to the flower cart.” He chuckled as the vendor wrapped up the purchase. “I saw her setting up early this morning and wanted to surprise you. Thank you for ruining that.”
Anna bit her lip sheepishly. “O-oh! I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be. I’ve been eyeing that bouquet every time I pass this cart, but haven’t had the chance to actually buy it. I’m glad I at least had to come this way now or I’d have missed my chance to stop you.” He thanked the woman and passed the ready bouquet to his wife. “For you, My Lady, ” he said with flair. “Only the most beautiful of blooms for the most beautiful woman in all the land.”
Oh Hans….
Anna blushed deeply at the compliment and took a moment to get a nice whiff of her flowers– a pure delight for her senses, and sighed happily. She stood up on her tippy toes to press a thank-you-kiss into his cheek. His skin was surprisingly rough and she immediately pulled away and took a step back to get a better look at her husband. “Oh…” her voice shifted to some slight disappointment at the decent bit of stubble growth covering the lower half of his face. “You didn’t shave today,” she said as her fingers traced along his jawline.
“No… because a certain ‘Cockroach’ was hogging the men’s washroom this morning. And I even got up earlier just to do it, too.”
Anna immediately frowned. “You should have kicked him out. You’re bigger and stronger than he is.”
“True… but it wouldn’t be worth making us homeless, either. It’s alright. I’ll stop by the barber later this afternoon if I have time.”
“The barber? Is that wise? That’s just another expense.” Her gaze fell to the beautiful bouquet in her hands. “Especially after shelling out for these…. They weren’t exactly cheap.”
“No… but the joy it brings you justifies the cost. Your happiness is everything to me.”
Anna forced out a smile. “I am happy. Honest!” Her blush deepened at the cocked eyebrow and deadpanned expression on his face. “O-okay… I’m as happy as I could be, given the circumstances….”
“And I’d say that given the circumstances, I, too, will be happier with the shadow gone…”he leaned down and whispered in her ear, “since I know that you’ll purposefully avoid kissing me while it's there.” He winked at her. “We can’t have that, now can we?”
Feeling flustered, she quickly shook her head. It was then that she noticed the large box propped up under one of his arms. “Are you on a job?” She asked sweetly, eager to change the subject.
“I am. Come with me! I’ve only got a delivery to make, and your company would be nice.”
Anna smiled and looped her arm through his once he shifted the box into both of his hands. “Thank you again for these flowers. It’s a nice surprise… even if I did kinda mess things up.”
“You’ve been having a really hard time lately. I just wanted to cheer you up some.” The pair continued on Sycamore Street, crossing over several blocks until they stopped outside of a very familiar eating establishment, one both of them enjoyed frequenting. “Well, this is my stop.” Hans said and nodded his head towards the box in his hands. “Salmon delivery for tonight’s special.”
“Oh. Fish again?” She sighed and wrinkled her nose. “I guess we’ll be staying in tonight, too.” She let go of his arm and took a few steps away from the door. “You can go ahead. I’ll wait here until you’re done.”
“I won’t be long. I promise.”
Once he had disappeared inside the tavern, Anna glanced further up the street. The restaurant was on the edge of the downtown district, and just up ahead, the remaining storefronts and shops would be transitioning to various row homes and apartments. She had never really ventured far past the tavern before, since the establishment was already a good distance away from the boarding house where they currently resided. But, she had a good portion of the day left, and curiosity was getting the better of her. Before she knew it, she was on the move heading into the western residential district of Etonsburg.
Everything on this end of the city seemed so well kept and beautiful. It made her so sad to think of where she and Hans were currently living. The shorter blocks crammed with tall, neglected buildings and row homes that all looked alike and dilapidated really seemed so… depressing and sickly. And the clientele of people that came and went seemed to represent that, too. It really made her not want to return to the boarding house ever again.
“There you are!” Hans’ voice called out from behind her as he ran to catch up to her. “Marit, I thought you were waiting outside.”
“I’m sorry…” she said sheepishly and shuffled her flowers to one hand so she could latch onto his arm once more. “I just felt like exploring.”
“Well, let’s head back then.” He said and tried to steer her back in the other direction, towards the city center. “I might be able to squeeze in another decent job or two before we start to lose the light. The sun sets so early nowadays.”
“N-no, wait!” She gripped his arm tighter. “Can we… I dunno… take a walk instead?”
He paused and looked at her with a puzzled expression. “A walk?”
“Yeah…” Anna nodded. “It’s just… I don’t see you much during the day anymore and you’re always so tired by the time supper comes.”
Hans seemed hesitant. “But we need the money.”
“I know… but we still have enough for when the next rent comes due. One afternoon off won’t hurt, right?”
“I… I suppose not.”
“Perfect!” She beamed and pulled him along further down the street. “We’ve never been down this way before. I want to see something new.” He didn’t seem to protest or come up with any other verbal excuses, so she loosened her grip on him. He responded in turn by placing his hand over hers and offering her a smaller, reassuring smile as they walked.
It really did surprise her how different the West End was. It was like night and day. One particular street was lined with townhomes with large sparking windows, fresh exterior paint– or on others, stone and brick finishes that appeared clean and well-looked-after. Each home had a slightly different variation than the ones beside them, and it all appeared less cookie-cutter and more welcoming. Trimmed shrubbery lined the front walkways of some units, and spaced between every few homes were tall, elegant lamp posts.
The pair made a right turn at the next intersection onto Chartridge Lane, and continued on in silence. For once, Anna didn’t mind the quiet between them. She was too busy gawking at the charming sights before her. This street had detached homes. Some were only separated by narrow alleyways, but others further down were spaced enough to have small gated yards of their own. A few of the structures sprinkled in the middle were even massive in size.
Either these people have huge families, or they’re richer than rich. She subtly glanced down at herself and the basic plaid, frayed dress she wore. Suddenly she felt very underdressed to be walking around this part of town. Luckily the walking paths were mostly empty. There would be no scrutinizing gazes to spoil her stroll.
There was one particularly large structure in the middle of the block with a sign hanging over the front door that read ‘Ingrid’s Inn’. Anna could feel her heart aching as they walked by. There were rocking chairs and benches lining the giant wrap-around porch, and so many different shrubs and flowers along the foundation that made it all look so inviting. A part of her wondered if Ingrid rented out rooms for long term stays. She could only imagine how nice and comfortable those rooms would be.
A stay there… even just one night would probably be more money than we could scrape up in a week.
“What a charming place.” As if reading her thoughts, Hans spoke up suddenly as he stopped their stroll briefly to admire the inn. “Too bad our boarding house doesn’t look like that.”
“If it did, we’d be homeless.” She sighed and leaned her head on his upper arm. “We can barely afford our tiny ol’ room in the slums as it is.”
He glanced down at her with a hopeful expression. “Maybe we can try to save up some. You know… for a special occasion away from screaming babies and all….”
She nudged him playfully in the side. “Well now you’ve gotten me all excited for a good night’s sleep.”
“Me, too.”
They made it through a few more blocks, moving in a circular path to return to their starting point. Primrose Lane was their last leg of the journey, and the residences along this path were much more to her liking. The majority of them were townhomes, but they were smaller and more modestly sized compared to the three or four floored flats closer to downtown. Some of them weren’t kept up as nice as the other ritzier residences, but they still maintained their bright, homely charm.
What got Anna’s attention was the home at the end of the street. It was a single cottage situated on the corner lot across from an entrance to the city’s large park. It was probably the smallest home she had seen on this end of the city, but not too small to be uncomfortable. The ivory brick and the structure's asymmetrical shape made the home stand out from the others on the block in a charming, refreshing way. The upper right window had a flower box mounted to the front with some of the greenery hanging down. Its yard was even a decent size, surrounded on all sides by a waist-high brick wall with an iron gate at the front path. Most of the grass and shrubbery was rather overgrown, but that was the only flaw that she could see.
It’s… it’s like something out of a fairytale!
As soon as they were walking past it, Anna immediately tapped on his arm. “Honey, look!” She stopped and stepped right up to the gate. “Look how adorable this place is.”
Hans’ head tilted slightly to one side as he looked the property over. “It looks abandoned. Look at the yard.”
Anna rolled her eyes. “Not the yard, silly. The house !” She released his arm and clutched her flower bouquet to her chest with both hands. “Doesn’t it look like a place you’d like to live in?”
“I suppose so.” He said after a pause. “Though it’s hard to judge a home by the outside alone.”
“Well, I am.” She said adamantly, and even left their spot to scamper over to the street corner for a brief side view of the property. The home was a lot larger than it appeared from the front. The back yard had some larger trees on one side for shade, but otherwise it was just more overgrown grass.
Her mind immediately started to race as she tried to imagine what the property would look like with proper care. The backyard was certainly large enough to plant a modest flower garden. And she didn’t know much about irrigation, but she could picture how wonderful it would be to have a small fountain put in– just like the ones that she would sit by back in Arendelle. Hans could probably construct one. Or if he couldn’t, by now he’s done so much odd work for most of the people in town that he probably knew someone who could do it for them.
The interior was a mystery, of course, but she could always dream what it would be like inside.
An inviting entryway with a sitting room or parlor to one side… maybe a dining room on the other. I bet it would have a real kitchen inside, not just some tiny ol’ stovetop shoved between a door and a fireplace. It could have cupboards and shelves and a place for everything to be put away! And fireplaces!!! There’s more than one chimney! Oh what if there was a fireplace in the bedroom?? I would never have to go to sleep cold ever again….We could have a room that’s big enough for the both of us and some furniture!! There would be plenty of space to put our clothes, and maybe we could even have a nice sized mirror on the wall so I could actually see myself! There has to be more than just one bedroom in there. We could make a secondary room as an art room for Hans and his paintings! If there’s three… then maybe I could get my own reading room—
An arm suddenly draped around her shoulders and she was pulled from her racing thoughts. Hans stood beside her now and nudged his head forward, “C’mon… time to go home.”
“Right… home.” She sighed and let him take the lead. The boarding house was the last place where she wanted to be, especially after her sightseeing. But every few minutes, she made a fleeting, longing glance over her shoulder towards that cottage until it was too far away to be seen.
“And here I thought you fell asleep in the tub.” Anna teased as Hans slipped back into their bedroom and locked the door shut behind him.
“Believe it or not, I only spent maybe five minutes in the water.” He sighed. “There was a line, and by the time I got to actually take my bath, the water was so cold that I didn’t even want to be in it anymore.” He lowered his gaze to his waist as he fumbled with the knot closure of his robe.
Anna’s fingers fiddled with her long braid draped over her shoulder. Her eyes followed her husband’s form as he tossed his discarded robe at the end of the bed and pulled back the blankets on his half. He looked tired and frustrated as he slid in next to her and slumped back against his pillow. “That’s twice in one day now,” she said softly. “Clearly the men here don’t want you to be clean.”
“I’m starting to get that impression, too.”
At least the few minutes he did have in the bath paid off. He no longer smelled of seafood, considering that after he dropped her back off at the room, his last job opportunities of the day entailed various deliveries from the fish market to some of the larger, upper-class estates across the city. That was at least something to be thankful for. She rolled onto her side, pulled the bedding higher up her chest, and gazed at his face. The stubble was still there. And the tips of his bangs were falling into his eyes. Without really thinking, she reached over with her left hand to gently brush them aside. “If it’s any consolation,” she began in an effort to make him feel better, “you do smell wonderful, now.”
His head turned towards her as the corner of his mouth twisted upwards. “Thanks.” He claimed her hand in his own and lowered his gaze to it as he rubbed his index finger along her wedding ring. He had grown quiet for a few minutes and during the silence, and his expression had become rather pensive. “I saw the way your face lit up earlier. You really liked that cottage we saw, didn’t you?”
Anna shrugged lightly. “I did. I mean… I’m sure someone actually lives there, so it’s not like we can waltz right in or anything… but it looks like the perfect size for us! That’s the kind of place I’d love to have… where we aren’t so butted up against everyone else. There’s room for a garden or to just do things outside…” she sighed softly, “I suppose I was letting my imagination get the better of me this afternoon. Having a home of our own would be a dream come true. But right now, I think that’s all it’ll be. Just a dream.”
Hans gave her an apologetic look, “This definitely isn’t the life I imagined for us when we got married. Don’t get me wrong, I knew the lifestyle adjustment would be a bit difficult at first, but this…” he made a point of gesturing around the room with his free hand. “Being jobless… practically homeless… this isn’t what I want for you– for us – it makes me feel like a failure and a disappointment.”
She had to blink hard as she yanked her hand free. “Wait, what ?” She fluffed her pillow and propped her head up with her elbow. “Honey, why would you say that? How could you even think such a thing?”
He replied rather bluntly. “You can try to hide it from me, but I know you well enough by now that you’re practically an open book. You’re miserable, and you have been for a long time. Most of your smiles these days are forced. And I can’t really remember the last time I heard a genuine laugh come out of you. This whole arrangement is so stressful and I’m worried it’s just really eating away at you– at both of us . This isn’t the only boarding house in the area– I wish I could just relocate us to a different one– one with better conditions and clientele, but this is the only one we can afford.” He grew quiet for a moment before quietly continuing, “I’m a sorry excuse for a husband. I can’t provide for us the way you would expect me to.”
Anna bit her lip and reached over to clasp her hand over his. “You’re right. I am miserable. I hate this place, with its lack of privacy, proper food and relative freedom. I mean… I can’t even take a bath in peace without you having to guard the door from our creepy neighbors! I hate having to choose between spending our money on rent or replacing our worn-through clothes. I hate that the place I have to call home is really this dingy little room that’s really too small for the two of us. We have no major possessions to call our own or means to even pursue our own interests. Most of all, I miss my family… our old lives, and the way things used to be before this whole fiasco started,” She shook her head gently and scooted herself closer to him, “ That’s what makes me miserable. Not you. It’s never been you. Honey, you are the last remaining source of light in my life. We don’t have much, but we have each other. And when you hold me in your arms, it makes me feel safe. And loved . In those moments, I can forget all of our problems for just a moment and truly relax. You make me smile when there’s nothing else in the world to smile about.” When he looked like he was going to tear up, she freed her hands to gently caress his face. “So please don’t doubt yourself. I know that when you get up each day and head downtown, you’re trying your very best to support us. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”
“Angel, I—“
She silenced him briefly with a short but tender kiss on his lips. “ So maybe we both just need to take a deep breath and focus on what’s really important. We may dislike it, but we have a roof over our heads and a warm— well, somewhat warm place to sleep every night. And if this is where we have to call home for the foreseeable future, then so be it.” When he pulled her closer, she snuggled right up against his chest and closed her eyes, “I have you… and in the end that’s all that matters.”