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For as long as he could remember it has been there. Singing quietly in the deepest depths of his soul. A sense longing so deeply rooted with no logical cause. No focus. He could never explain it. Didn’t understand. Outside of the yawning expanse within his chest, seeking, always seeking the unknown.
He felt it as a child, waiting for loved ones to return, despite them never having left.
He felt it when he encountered Ardbert, a kinship he couldn’t explain.
He felt it with each of the Ascians, his heart crying out for lost friends after each hard-fought battle. Guilt gnawing at his bones. Felt it in the teasing jabs he wanted to aim at Emet-Selch but kept locked away behind pursed lips.
Felt it when he wandered the streets of Amaurot, illusion though it was. Buildings he knew the purpose of before ever stepping foot inside. Felt it when speaking with his new old friend whose name slipped off his tongue mere seconds before the shade said it himself.
He understood it now, staring down at Azem’s crystal, before clutching it close to his chest. His soul remembered what he could not. Sought familiarity and called out to it like a lost child looking for their mother.
And for the first time he can recall, he felt the longing ease.