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Asogi, with his mischievous smile.
Asogi, carefully unsheathing his sword.
Asogi, laughing, with a hand on Naruhodo’s shoulder.
The memories surfaced like petals on water, as another cold, bloody flower left his throat.
The sink was covered in white roses, stained a perfect red.
A beautiful match to the crimson of his best friend's hachimaki.
—------
His eyes were bleary as the soft morning light filtered through his window. His alarm had gone off a while ago. Although, that was not his most pressing concern at the moment.
“Naruhodo.”
Who was that calling him? And by the gods, could it not wait? It was too early to be awake! Frankly, it was too early to do anything.
“ Naruhodo. ”
There was a tug at the sheet, it uncovered some of Ryunosuke’s body, and he whined at the sudden chill against his skin, pulling it back in defiance and burying his face in his pillow with a contented hum. He could stay in his dorm if he damn well pleased! Maybe he could do some laundry! Or chores!
(Ryunosuke would not do either of these things.)
There was a moment of peace, as the student relaxed.
A foolish mistake on his part, really.
There was a shift on the bed, and Ryunosuke barely had enough time to prepare before a cool hand grabbed his ankle, dragging him out of the soft haven that was his blanket.
“AK!”
“I warned you, partner.”
Partner..?
Brown eyes flew open with a yelp as he adjusted to his surroundings, while this was happening, he finally fell off of the bed. Hard.
”OW!”
”Pfft..”
”Do you- seriously-“ He hissed, shaking his blanket off and looking up to glare at his friend, just to see that the traitor was laughing!
“Oh yeah,” The student drawled, “Real funny Asogi. ”
Said traitor was still enjoying his partner’s torment, but at least had the decency to pretend he was sorry. “Well, maybe someone should’ve gotten up, hm?” he snarked, while bending over to sit in front of Ryunosuke.
”Of course, I sleep in so you drag me out of bed like some barn animal.”
“Glad to see you’re catching on.” Kazuma snickered, making himself comfortable on the floor. He bumped their shoulders together as a soft smile came over his face, incidentally, causing Ryunosuke feel a wave of petals get stuck in his throat.
“Really Naruhodo, you must wake up on time!”
Slowly, Kazuma pushed some hair out of the poor student’s face, not seeming to notice how red he got. They were awfully close.. If Ryunosuke moved his head a bit then he could..
No, no. He could never do that, he’d rather choke on bittersweet flowers than choke out his feelings! The student could never force that on his dear friend, no matter how much his heart ached..
As he snapped out of his sad storm of thoughts, he playfully shoved Asogi off of him and went to change. Ignoring his partner’s complaints and grabbing some clothes from a threadbare wardrobe, he’d never liked that thing..
Entering the bathroom, the student opened his mouth and looked in the mirror, wincing at the sticky blood glazed over a myriad of petals and vines. The vines were new, yet another thing to worry about. He had had the hanahaki for a while, Ryunosuke hadn’t really been keeping track, but probably a bit more than a month, in his haste to hide the sickness from his partner, he had stopped really taking care of himself, Asogi didn’t refrain from commenting on the disheveled dorm, the bastard.
..ergo, the sleeping in and avoiding his friend.
Clothes littered the floor, and the wardrobe was looking a bit empty, but the bathroom was fine, he had to clean it rather often to stop the blood from staining.
“You should really tidy up..” Kazuma’s voice snipped through the door.
“ASOGI!”
—------
It was spring, and the cherry blossom trees bloomed all over the university. Kazuma noted how they had just begun to fall. Ryunosuke was growing sick at the sight of flowers. He was sick regardless- but it was simply a cruel reminder.
Being different majors and all, the duo did not have many classes together, so they opted to spend as much free time as they could with the other, Ryunosuke usually enjoyed that free time a great deal more than the shared classes, in classes it was much harder to dispose of the swirl of vines and petals that grew whenever Kazuma looked at him, harder to ignore the fluttery feelings he would get whenever their hands brushed, harder to hide what he felt.
Well, that, and..
“Asogi, please. ”
“Naruhodo, unhand me and let this fool know the wrath of my blade!”
“ASOGI.”
As students drifted by, they eyed the pair with exasperation, it wasn't uncommon that this would happen, a student disrespecting Ryunosuke only to be met with a very angry Samurai. They could strive to be a bit quieter about it though, most people had learned to steer clear of the two, Kazuma would nearly bite anyone who slighted Ryunosuke’s head off, and if anyone made a rude comment about Kazuma, Ryunosuke would make it very clear what happened to delinquents who spread rumors about the top student of Yumei University.
(these situations usually embarrassed him afterwards, cringing in horror as he’d remember the harsh things he said in defense of his partner, Kazuma would just laugh, patting him on the back sympathetically while wearing a look of unadulterated delight.)
A cherry blossom fell, landing delicately on the ground. Ryunosuke eyed it with disdain.
…losing focus on his very-not-happy partner.
Meanwhile, the perpetrator in question was trying pretty hard to book it before his face was sliced off. To Asogi’s great frustration. Now, it wasn't that Ryunosuke wasn’t flattered to see the man he loved defend him so fiercely, in fact, that was the problem, it was really attractive actually, but that didn’t mean he was going to let his partner get arrested! Ryunosuke drew the line at reprimanding classmates who were out of line, not aggravated assault!!
..Unfortunately that thought had not seemed to cross Kazuma’s mind as he prepared to duel in Ryunosuke’s “honor”.
Kazuma was a lot stronger than the student, clearly, but struggling too much with a sword in your hands was the best way to get anyone impaled, so he wasn’t really using all of his strength. That was hardly a problem though, the real issue was how close their bodies were. So close in fact, that Ryunosuke could feel the muscles under Asogi’s clothing, as he was pressed against him, every time they shifted he could feel the sturdiness of his friend’s figure, mind flickering to detached yet vivid thoughts of what that body would feel like against his… pressing him into a mattress.. what those hands would feel like on his cheek before-
“COME BACK HERE AND FIGHT!” Kazuma snarled, glaring at the fidgeting figure of his timid prey, thankfully he also sliced through the inane thoughts of his best friend.
The physical touch was.. distracting, to say the least.
The pair continued the back and forth, until said offender was able to escape Kazuma’s wrath, thankfully.
Kazuma did not appreciate Ryunosuke’s attempt to keep him from committing a murder. Grumbling about it as they headed to class, although his overall clinginess somewhat doused the flames of the “Asogi Fury” Ryunosuke was so used to.
”I really really dont consider my ‘honor’ more important than you NOT going to prison…”
”hmph, it’s unbecoming of a man to stand by while being challenged!”
”Asogi, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not the most traditional man you’ll meet.”
”Being born as a woman is no excuse!!”
“CAN YOU TWO QUIET DOWN OVER THERE?!?” Some irritated student yelled.
The partners whipped around -practically in sync- to shoot a ferocious glare at the interruption, Kazuma grabbing the hilt of his katana threateningly as Ryunosuke glowered.
..no one else spoke out after that.
The student turned back, happy that the conversation was over atleast.
…right??
“..I just don’t see how you can possibly be okay with that!” Kazuma growled, walking beside his steadfast companion.
“It’s alright Asogi..” The student sighed, trying to change the subject. He never liked conflict, especially when karuma was involved.
“Er.. uhm..” Ryunosuke started, scrambling for a good distraction. “By the way!! how has your tongue twister training been going?”
His friend groaned and leaned on the student’s shoulder.
Ryunosuke turned red as a tomato.
“Is that really so important??”
”Aka hachimaki, ao hachimaki-“
“Ok, ok, I’ll talk about something else, but can we please avoid that subject?” The Samurai said, grabbing his friend’s hand.
Ryunosuke would laugh, but if he did, an entire garden might come out.
He settled for a light chuckle, and obliged his dear friend’s request.
—------
It was a literature class, a boring one at that. Everyone was working together, well- everyone except Ryunosuke, sitting in the back and writing notes diligently. It didn’t bother him usually, his peers had always considered him.. Different.
Everyone except Kazuma.
The student shook his head, attempting to scatter his thoughts about the samurai, it wasn’t very effective. But it got Ryunosuke thinking..
Kazuma was his polar opposite, popular, surrounded by admirers, brave, talented…
What did he see in Ryunosuke? What worth did he have over the many students who adored Kazuma? His heart fluttered a bit thinking of his friend, some petals fluttered too, and Ryunosuke dug his nails into his skin, sighing and looking down at the wooden desk. This was not productive in the slightest!
But he just couldn’t help it, no matter what he tried.
..Sometimes, it was nice to imagine the impossible, for his mind to conjure a version of Kazuma that reciprocated, who took Ryunosuke’s hand and smiled, whispering sweet nothings as the two embraced each other. A Kazuma he could go on dates with, dance with, a Kazuma who would catch him staring and simply grin.
Ryunosuke put his head in his hands.
Kazuma, bright, brilliant Kazuma.
Why would he ever choose someone like him?
---------
The student looked up as the teacher dismissed everyone, and let out a big sigh. It wasn’t that Ryunosuke hated learning, he loved it, truly! However… the teacher did tend to drone on. A lot. About nothing.
This class had its pluses though, for one, it was a lot easier to deal with the lumps of flora in his lungs, especially considering that the sole cause of said flora was not in this class, everyone left him alone too, which was appreciated. Thankfully any time spent away from Kazuma was reprieve from the vines growing in his stomach.
Although that never stopped Ryunosuke from seeking him out, it would be funny if it wasn’t literally killing him. He pondered the irony of his situation as he headed towards the bathroom. Unfortunately for the student, the universe has conspired to make his life as difficult as possible.
“NARUHODO!”
Oh gods.
The sea of students parted as Kazuma burst through the crowd to catch up to his friend, they all glared at the samurai, no doubt hissing complaints about his attachment to the English student who’d made their lives hell. “A-Asogi?” Ryunosuke mumbled timidly, he felt vines crawl up his throat. Petals danced in his stomach, mocking him.
His dear friend was oblivious to this, of course, and beamed at the flushed student.
“Apologies, I simply wanted to walk with you to the next class.” Kazuma clarified, stepping closer and grabbing Ryunosuke’s hand casually. No hesitation, no worries of if it was proper..
Nothing of the sort .
Their fingers intertwined, and his heart leapt.
Ryunosuke was not a brave man, the intimacy of the gesture taunted him, and he let it. The flowers grew, tickling the inside of his neck and creeping up into his mouth.
The vines never felt like they were in his lungs, they wrapped around his heart and squeezed.
He wouldn’t ever have Kazuma the way he wanted, even if he was so close.
White flowers stained red.
So Ryunosuke smiled, and his mind wept.
“Then let’s head over.”
—------
It was a nice day, lovely weather. Even if Ryunosuke was feeling a bit under the weather.
The wordplay only soured his mood, his literature studies were a blight on him sometimes.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Kazuma whispered, eyeing him with concern and leaning closer.
The student gulped, nodding slightly.
“Positive.”
The metallic taste of blood was sickening.
He was used to it.
After classes, Kazuma sometimes insisted on spending the day together, having planned out their schedule, Ryunosuke didn’t mind, he loved being the center of so much careful consideration, though he’d never admit that- always reassuring the samurai if he worried that he was being too controlling. Normally they didn’t speak much, the comfort of being around each other was enough.
Ryunosuke hadn’t been able to rid his mouth of the wretched plants since.
It's a nice cafe, the atmosphere is light and airy, there were many plants… and based on how this day was going, there was soon to be more. Kazuma frowned at him, he was always able to see through Ryunosuke, eyes trailing down his chin, before glinting in surprise.
“You are bleeding from your mouth.” He stated, glaring at the student in suspicion.
What.
“WHAT?!!” Ryunosuke exclaims, covering his mouth immediately and springing to his feet. He knocks over a chair in the process. As his friend watches him with morbid curiosity.
‘Wow, how inconspicuous Ryunosuke, Kazuma will never suspect a thing!! Brilliant.’ His mind supplies helpfully.
Finally thinking with his brain instead of his heart, The student whirled around to find a bathroom or anything that didn't involve his unwilling murderer.
If only it were that easy.
“Wait!”
Kazuma shoots up and grasps the student’s arm as he heads for the door, it is simultaneously the best and worst thing he could’ve done.
“Partner, please don’t lie to me.”
Ryunosuke turns and looks at his beloved, guilt simmering in his stomach from the frenzied look in Kazuma’s eyes.
Under those eyes, He nearly folds.
Nearly.
With a practiced expression of feigned calm, Ryunosuke smiles, “It is nothing Asogi.” He sighs, trying to push down the swell of flora and thorns pricking at his throat.
Kazuma holds Ryunosuke’s hand to his chest, and walks forward.
The flowers push and bloom. It is like venom.
Slowly, Kazuma brushes a stray bit of hair out of his face, and squeezes his hand.
“You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?”
Ryunosuke chuckles, the irony of the statement lessens the pain of heartache, anything but the simple words that would save him.
“Anything, Asogi?”
“ Anything. ”
If only he knew, it’s pitiful, the sincerity of the request is unmistakable, he knows Kazuma Asougi.
But this time, he knows that sincerity would crumble to show disgust, if he truly honored the plea.
Ryunosuke tugs his hand back and sighs.
He assures Kazuma that he is fine, or.. he thinks he did. Kazuma tends to be clingy.
Regardless, The feeling of relief is overwhelming as he spits the blood covered roses out onto the pristine sink.
Red staining white.
—------
The blood is starting to stain.
The smell is thick and haunts him.
He turns off his phone as it buzzes.
---------
It is a weekend, so Ryunosuke is free to sleep in all he wants. Content to waste away in his messy dorm. The state of it had deteriorated over the weeks he’d been afflicted with his flowery fever, oftentimes the student was too busy working or coughing up roses to take care of himself, much less the place he lived.
It was fine! Ryunosuke was fine.
There’s a knock at the door.. a very precise pattern of knocks that are too absurd to be anyone else.. anddd the calm thoughts circling around him vaporize instantly.
…Well, nevermind-
“Naruhodo?”
For once Ryunosuke had put himself first and was avoiding Kazuma since their last outing. Hanahaki, while rare, was still well known. Kazuma would go off the rails if he found out Ryunosuke liked someone, especially him! He can already imagine the complete disaster that would be.
..so, the student was subtly trying to distance himself from his friend.
“Partner, I know you’ve been avoiding me.”
Ryunosuke hits his head against the pillow. His yelling is muffled as the samurai continues.
“If you want space that’s fine! You’re your own person, but I would like to know if that’s the case” Kazuma pleads through the door.
What Ryunosuke would give to tell him everything.
“I care for you Naruhodo, but if you would like for our relationship to change-“
‘I do want that, but not in the way you think.’ He bemoans, walking to the door and glaring at it.
“-Then I am amenable to that.” Kazuma finishes.
Ryunosuke, against his better judgment, opens the blasted thing. His hanahaki has worsened in the past weeks, and he can feel it. As has his energy.
‘Oh gods.’
The second he glimpses his beloved, a wave of petals and vines lodge themselves in his throat. And quite literally, he chokes.
“Aso- MPH!” He crumples to the ground in front of his bewildered friend, bloody flowers litter his mouth, he leans into the door frame, shaking.
He begins to cough with a hand over his mouth, still desperately trying to hide the truth from his beloved. Blood drips off of his hand and onto the floor.
Predictably, Kazuma flips out.
“NARUHODO!”
Ryunosuke barely registers being hoisted up until he’s already halfway down the hall, in Kazuma’s arms, torn between trying to escape and simply passing out exactly where he wants to be.
“It’s okay, It’s okay, you’ll be fine. ” His friend repeats, it's unclear if it’s to Ryunosuke or himself. Maybe both.
‘I’ll never be okay, silly.’ He thinks deliriously, his head is spinning.
Kazuma is leading him out of the building, presumably to a doctor.
no No NO NO!
“B-bathroom.” He chokes out weakly, elbowing Kazuma’s ribs, praying that his friend will just listen.
Kazuma holds him tighter, piercing Ryunosuke with his eyes alone.
The student has never felt more loved.
“You need a doctor, Ryunosuke.”
Nevermind, love is horrible.
The student didn’t notice the use of his first name and shook his head.
“N-no! I need the-“ he launches into another coughing fit, the thick smell of blood in his nose.
He grabs Kazuma’s hand and squeezes. Looking up at him with pleading eyes.
“Please. T-trust me.”
His friend mulls it over, looking more and more nervous by the second.
After a moment- “You’d better be right about this.” He growls.
Ryunosuke nearly collapses in relief.
—------
Kazuma practically breaks the door down, ushering the student in. In the back of his mind, Ryunosuke contemplates that Kazuma is about to find out that he has hanahaki.
‘There’s nothing I can really do about that.’ He accepts, staggering over to the counter.
leaning over the sink, he begins to cough violently, blood splatters the faucet and flowers with clumps of red fall out, slowly. The marble counter is covered in a sickening crimson. It looks like a fluttering hachimaki.
The pain is unbearable, overstimulating and uncomfortable, it feels like every time he moves the vines dig into his heart. But he can do nothing but watch as roses drip from his mouth.
After the last of them are gone, he sighs, panting.
He turns to Kazuma.
The devastation on his face ruins Ryunosuke. Who stumbles a bit from the feeling of heartbreak. As if the world has shattered and it lay at Kazuma’s feet.
How ironic.
“I'm.. I’m s-“ he starts, then falls backwards. Hitting the floor as his beloved screams his name.
—------
The pain is the first thing he feels. Ryunosuke’s eyes open, and he regrets it.
The back of his head is killing him. Well, that and the flowers.
Slowly, he uses his elbows to push himself up, looking around. He’s on a futon, surrounded by..
‘Oh for heaven's sake.’
Medical equipment,
Asogi took him to a hospital.
Ordinarily, this would be a good thing.
But Asogi absolutely knows now.
The student sighs and sits up, rubbing his head as footsteps grow louder. That was inevitable, as foreboding as a trainwreck, but he still wasn’t exactly pleased. He’d never exactly liked hospitals, the general aura from them was intimidating and cold, besides, he’d hadn’t been to one since his top surgery, and Ryunosuke wasn’t exactly keen on visiting for old times sake. He faces the door as it opens..
it isn’t Kazuma. Ryunosuke doesn’t know if he should be relieved or disappointed.
A woman in a white coat and with dark skin enters, holding a clipboard and a pen. She stares at him, unimpressed, Ryunosuke curls into himself.
After a moment of silence, she speaks.
“You really don't value your life, do you?” Her voice is sharp and cutting, not unkind, but not sympathetic.
He flinches at her scrutinizing gaze as she writes something on the clipboard, clicking her tongue. “3 months, you’ve had this for 3. Months.”
“Y-Yes I h-“
“And you didn’t tell ANYONE?!” She exclaimed, probably breaking some doctor-client code.
“I didn’t want to-“
“You didn’t want to confess.” She cuts in. ‘Burden them with your feelings.’ Correct?”
“I-I..”
The woman pinches the bridge of her nose, exasperated. The silence is unbearable, and he feels like a child who’s disappointed his mother. “I didn’t catch your name..” Ryunosuke mumbles. Looking at the wall.
“My name is Dr. Prah D. Gye. And I’ve seen a lot of cases before, like- A LOT.” She replied, pacing back and forth, crossing her arms.
“But you?? Are you out of your MIND?!?” Prah exclaims, glaring at him almost maniacally.
She presses the clipboard into his arms, it’s a chart covered with angry margins and confused scribbles.
Ryunosuke blinks, befuddled.
“W-well I-I’m very so-“
Prah laughs hysterically. “ YOU'RE SORRY?? I’D LIKE TO MEET THE ASSHOLE YOU’VE BEEN REFUSING TO CONFESS TO FOR THREE MONTHS!!” She grabs his shoulders and shakes him.
“YOU DIDN'T SEEK MEDICAL HELP AT ALL?? ”
“W-well I didn't want to bother-”
“BOTHER?! YOU COULD’VE DIED!I ”
Died?? please, the student had accepted that inevitability, he wasn’t six! Ryunosuke shrugs the hands off, leaning away from the nurse. “I don’t want surgery.” He stated, “I never want to stop loving him.”
“..”
Prah stops at that, looking down.
Her hands are shaking.
“You think you want that.” She whispers.
“I know I-”
“Really.” Prah interrupts, scowling. “You want the man you love to watch as the life drains from your eyes. You want him to live the rest of his life wondering what he could’ve done?” She has an iron grip on the pen. Her eyes are cold.
Kazuma, staring at his dead body.
Kazuma, standing at his grave.
Kazuma Asogi, without his partner.
He frowns, making eye contact with her.
“Someone you knew died.”
“How perceptive.”
“It’s different.”
“Hah! You're right.” She barks out, shaking her head. “If the one you're after is the kid that brought you in, it's so much worse.” Prah scoffs, writing something down. “He’s in love with you, and has to witness you die.”
Ryunosuke’s world stops.
In love with him?
He remembers what he felt the first time the petals showed.
despair.
He laughs, a cold, empty laugh.
“That's insane.” He grits out.
He remembers the tears, it mixed with the blood dripping from his face. He remembers Kazuma’s smile, bright and piercing.
Always out of reach.
Prah glares at him. “You're a stubborn thing, aren’t you.” she snaps, pushing her glasses up. “If you're so convinced that I'm crazy-”
“Jury’s out.”
“-Then tell him.”
“ What? ”
“You heard me.”
Prah sighs, putting the pen and paper on a desk. “Listen, Mr. 'I will stab you if you don’t heal Naruhodo’ is undeniably smitten with you. If you don’t want that-”
“Of course I want that-”
“Sure you do, I know how this goes, you don’t want to drag him down, disgrace him, that right?”
Red staining white.
He knew he would die, only a fool would prolong the inevitable.
He drowned in the sickly sweet flowers, holding on to a bright red headband.
“I love Asogi.”
“Of course you do, and you wish you loved anyone else.” She is relentless, and he hates it.
She walks towards him.
“But if you think that his life is worth more than yours, then tell him. See how he reacts.”
A hand reaches out to save him, and he can’t bring himself to take it.
The nurse takes a deep breath, stepping back.
“Your condition is stable, and there’s nothing I can do to convince you to confess, is there?”
“No.”
“Then you're free to go.” Prah gestures at the door, eyeing him with slight sympathy.
————————
He enters the waiting room, ready to fall over.
It's a cold room, with beige walls and a tiled floor, chairs neatly organized in a row.
Kazuma is in one, sleeping fitfully, beautiful, even while unconscious.
“Oh Asogi…” Ryunosuke sighs, walking up to him.
No one else is present.
He’s about to brush his hand through the Samurai’s hair, but thinks better of it.
The flowers will kill him, but confessing will kill Asogi.
He looks at his beloved.
“Of course you do. And you wished you loved anyone else.”
‘That’s absurd.’ he whispers, turning around.
The student paces around the room, muttering.
He wouldn’t trade Asogi for anyone! And he’d be delighted if his feelings were reciprocated!
He simply just doesn’t want to weigh.. him..
“Disgrace him.”
Ryunosuke groans, putting his head in his hands.
Kazuma stirs.
Ah.
Oh goodness.
Panicking a completely normal amount, he fidgets awkwardly as his friend slowly opens their eyes,
Those gorgeous, gorgeous eyes.
They land on him.
Kazuma stares.
It is dead silent.
He should apologize, explain what’s happening, let flowery words accompany the roses growing in his lungs as he tells the truth.
The student opens his mouth, voice trembling.
“Aso-“
But all of a sudden, Ryunosuke is engulfed in a tight embrace. His beloved holding him fiercely. Ryunosuke stands still for a moment, then reciprocates the gesture, clutching his friend’s back.
This is wrong, he doesn’t deserve this sympathy, he should tell Kazuma as much.
..But he is selfish, and revels in the warmth infront of him.
Kazuma is whispering his name, over and over. Ryunosuke pushes into him, yearning.
“Asogi..” He whispers softly, assuring his dear friend.
Kazuma leans back, holding the student’s face gently.
The flowers sing, grasping his heart.
Tears mixed with blood.
Ryunosuke puts a hand on Kazuma’s, smiling at him.
“Tell him!”
..
“Ryunosuke.” Kazuma says, more firmly, sliding his hands down the student’s face to press the other’s to his chest
“Mhm?”
They were pressed so closely together, Ryunosuke could make out every little freckle on the samurai’s face, the dampness of his cheeks, the flecks of brown in grey eyes. All of these details composing the forlorn expression directed towards him.
What if Kazuma was mad at-
“Let’s go back to the dorms.”
..what?
”E-Eh? Oh! O-Ok!”
‘That’s strange.. he knows about the hanahaki, and isn’t dwelling on it?’
..
Perhaps that’s for the best.
———————-
The door clicks as it is unlocked, they were silent the whole trip here, Ryunosuke eyes Kazuma’s back anxiously, he isn’t too keen on the samurai seeing his mess of a room.
..But…
he finds he has more..er- pressing matters.
As soon as he enters the room, he is pinned to the wall, roughly, though his head doesn’t hit the wall, having been shoved with enough force to be caged, but not uncomfortable, body pressing against..
A..Against..
“ASOGI!” Ryunosuke squeaks, turning red.
Kazuma’s eyes are dark, he’s holding Ryunosuke’s wrists, scowling.
“Who is it. ”
Ah. Ryunosuke should leave.
“I-I should le-“
“Ryu.” Kazuma snarls, looking unimpressed and tightening his grip ever so slightly.
Right, ok.
It’s quite literally a do or die scenario… Ryunosuke is content to perish.
It wouldn’t be the worst way to go. Although the flowers gathering in his mouth aren’t exactly pleasant, his room isn’t very tidy, and honestly he needed to change, if he had to die right n-
“I need an answer.” The voice cut through his grim thoughts like a blade.
Ryunosuke groans, rolling his eyes and deadpanning at his friend.
“Let me go then, or do you intend to leave marks on my wrists? Honestly Asogi you’re treating me like a barn animal.” He sniffs, turning away.
To his surprise, Kazuma relents, dropping his grip and backing up, some errant part of Ryunosuke mourns the loss of warmth from his partner.. the close proximity they’d-
‘Shut up brain.’
“Ok, tell me now. ” Kazuma insists, having created a.. not so distant distance between the two.
Ryunosuke groans, again, looking away from his friend to gaze at the messy dorm, it very accurately reflected the mental state of its tenant.
“..No.”
“For fuck’s sake Naruhodo!”
“It’s not your business Asogi.”
The samurai snorts, narrowing his eyes.
“You’re joking, surely.”
“I am not.”
He takes a step closer, the student tenses.
“You’ve been hiding this from me for three months. ”
Three months? It had gone by so fast.
Three months of pining, of forgotten laundry, of small glances that made Ryunosuke want.
“What of it.”
“I could’ve HELPED! ”
“I DO NOT WANT YOUR HELP!”
The two are an inch away from each other, panting.
“I’m running out of patience, partner . Who is it. ” Kazuma growls, his voice is scarily unstable, wavering at the end.
The student rolls his eyes, then crossed his arms. This was getting irritating.
“I fail to see how this pertains to you.”
“By the gods- IT'S YOUR LIFE!”
“Precisely! It’s my life! Not yours!”
“What?! ”
Ryunosuke scoffs, clicking his tongue impatiently. “Believe it or not, I’m not obligated to share everything with you Asogi.” He hisses.
drawing closer, His partner looks more and more agitated.
“Are you SERIOUS?! Naruhodo you aren’t going to HAVE a life if this keeps up!” Kazuma snaps, balling his fists.
“That is MY decision.”
“So you are content to die instead of confessing?!?”
“YES. Yes I am.” The student snarls, standing his ground.
Kazuma is glaring at him, Ryunosuke has been backed into a corner.
“Who is it.”
“I cannot tell you.”
“If you are too prideful to-“
Ryunosuke snaps, jerking backwards at the accusation, the rest of the sentence is hardly relevant, silenced by the roaring of blood in his ears.
…
”Ryunosu-“
“ PRIDEFUL?! ”
He steps forward, sneering. Lips bloody and accompanied by flowers pushing further and further with every breath.
Kazuma, bright and beautiful.
Always out of reach.
Pride? Ryunosuke has abandoned “pride.”
“I’m sure you would like to chalk it up to pride, because you are so positive you know EVERYTHING about me?!” He jabs a finger into the samurai’s chest.
“I hid it from you FOR A REASON. Kazuma. You ask if I would rather die than reveal my feelings? I would die a thousand times over if it meant I could keep him in my life.” Ryunosuke declares, his eyes grow teary with emotion.
“He is half of my soul, and I will never have him. I will rot away and I am content with that, the barest inch of companionship is a treasure. I am ordinary, mundane, yet he still treasures my smile as if it is made of gold. Pride would be to sap his sunlight from him, and make the one I love full with my inadequacy. Do not talk to me about pride, Kazuma Asogi.”
Tears drip down his face, he is weary of this.
Kazuma is still, he looks devastated.
Ryunosuke sighs, looking away, anger has melted into misery. Perhaps weariness, or just depression, either way, his partner does not deserve to be yelled at.
“Why do you care for me so?”
He is drowning, and Kazuma must watch.
“I-“
“No, forget that. Why are you so concerned about this?” The student continues. “You are very popular, my death is nothing to you.”
“what?!? How could I not?! You are my best friend-”
“You can make other friends, Asogi.”
“They are not you.”
“They are better than me-”
“Ryu-“
“I only drag you down-“
“ I CAN’T LOSE YOU!” Kazuma yells.
Ryunosuke stops dead in his tracks.
“..Asogi?” He whispers, feeling something akin to regret.
“Naruhodo.. gods above- how can you say something like that? I am popular, so? The moment they spite you I couldn’t care less about those followers, that’s not real. You are real.”
Kazuma grabs Ryunosuke’s shoulders, piercing through his heart.
“I cannot live in a world without you. Aren’t we partners? ”
‘You want the man you love to watch as the life drains from your eyes. You want him to live the rest of his life wondering what he could’ve done?’
“Naruhodo. Tell him.” Kazuma pleads, hanging his head, then, softly he whispers.
“Who wouldn’t say yes?”
Ryunosuke’s breath hitches a burst of something like hope in his chest.
“what?”
He eyes Kazuma with a newfound conviction.
..a newfound determination.
Straightening up, he cups his beloved’s face.
“Who would say yes? Would you?”
The samurai’s eyes widened, and he flushed a bit.
“I-I..”
“please, Kazuma.”
There is a small pause, and then he begins.
“It’s just.. you are so kind, and always helping everyone you meet! Ordinary is the last word to describe your lustre..”
“That is trivial.”
“Not to me.”
“..what else?” Ryunosuke whispered, he needed to know.
Kazuma continued.
“You are a brilliant student, and always willing to lend an ear to those who need it. What you call mundanity I call peaceful. You fumble through math and excel at tongue twisters”
“That just means I’m simple.”
”That means you are a human, a flawed, beautiful, human. My friend.”
Ryunosuke pulls away, he needs to hear this, he really does.
But he may cry if he keeps listening.
“When you are excited, your voice becomes stronger, and you are much more comfortable making eye contact with me.”
“You noticed? ”
He hated how vulnerable his voice was.
His friend smiled, just a bit.
“I cannot do anything but notice, partner.”
Oh.
Oh.
Ryunosuke Naruhodo is not a brave man.
He would spend the rest of his life with Kazuma. Pining from afar.
“Kazuma..” he utters.
He doesn’t have to, He never had to, isn’t that love? Platonic or Romantic or anything you want, to notice and keep noticing because the person shines so brilliantly that to look away would be to rid your eyes of something it loves? Because Kazuma loves him, and if it is simply how a friend loves a friend then Ryunosuke will take that love like a starving man.
‘I want to live.’ He thinks absently, if not just to see his partner everyday.
“Kazuma.” He repeats, more firmly.
Kazuma looks up at him.
Without a moment of hesitation, he grabs the man’s collar, and kisses him.
It’s awkward, and Ryunosuke has never kissed someone before.
It is perfect.
Kazuma quickly adjusts, humming slightly as he pushes against Ryu, running his hands through the student’s ebony hair, making a small sound of delight while pressing against delicate lips insistently, he is kissing him back because he loves Ryunosuke and oh his poor heart can’t take it- a tongue prods at his lips and he may die right here. In Kazuma’s arms and feeling alight with joy because he’s going to be ok.
They embrace, leaning into each other and swaying, neediness and love and everything that’s ever been pouring into a single touch.
The kiss ends eventually, scattered and fleeting as a result of them being unable to stop smiling against the other’s lips.
Ryunosuke giggles as Kazuma lands kiss after kiss on his face, chuckling.
“K-Kazuma! ” He says, grinning profusely.
“You can’t blame me, I’ve wanted to do this for ages.” Kazuma replies, beaming.
Ages.
Oh my gods.
Suddenly filled with clarity, Ryunosuke stumbles, falling into his beloved while snorting at the incredibly stupid mindset he’d had.
“Partner?”
“..This whole time?! ” He replies, shaking with laughter.
Kazuma grabs his chin, tilting his head up so their eyes meet, as sincere as the day they met.
“Always. ”
And forever, partner mine.
The flowers in his chest are replaced with butterflies, and for the first time, he can breathe.
“Kazuma..” he whispers, starstruck.
They stay like that for a moment, looking at each other.
..andddd Ryunosuke turns and retches into a nearby waste bin.
“RYUNOSUKE?”
”WE’RE FINE!! WE’RE FINE!! I JUST-“
Those damned flowers, as if spiteful, finally make their last push from the student’s body, gleaming with blood.. but..
They are red now, instead of white, having blended seamlessly with the offending substance.
It’s not perfect, of course not.
but it’s real.
Kazuma, who is very much out of the loop- holds Ryunosuke’s shoulder while he’s bent over the bin, heaving his guts out.
…The samurai only looks a litttleee terrified.
lifting his head, Ryuu clarifies.
”Sorry- Mph! s-sorry! After you said that the vines detached and there were a whole lot of roses rushing to leave my body..” He hastily explained, holding his hands up innocently while shooting those stupid plants a look of scorn. They had made his life hell for three months, little bastards.
Kazuma followed his gaze, eyes darkening as he took in the bloodied flora. Immediately holding (more like pushing really-) Ryunosuke to his chest. The ladder squeaked indignantly, looking up at his partner with an exasperated glare.
“Kazuma, they are flowers.”
”Flowers is being a bit generous, don’t you think? They’re more like weeds. Infectious and ugly.”
He could feel the rumbling of Kazuma’s voice from where he was, pressed so close against him, that slight growl was distracting him a lot-
After regaining some of his faculties, he sniffed stubbornly, turning his head away. ”I-I think I can manage to protect myself from them without your help, despite the past few months I can stand on my own…” The student mumbled, a heavy blush rising up his face at the continued closeness between the two.
Kazuma, ever observant, smiled wickedly, lips curling upwards in satisfaction.
somehow pressing himself closer- The samurai took this opportunity to kiss at Ryunosuke’s neck.
“I think you’d rather be ‘on’ me, aibou.”
…
Ryunosuke hit his arm.
“Ow!”
“That was unbearably cheesy.”
“That's cold, partner.”
“Hah! You shove me into a wall and I’m the unreasonable one?”
“I shoved you into a wall because you were going to die!”
“Hm?” Ryunosuke croons, leaning back and grinning at the man smugly. Arms circling Kazuma’s neck, “As far as I can tell, I am still alive.” He states, feigning ignorance.
“Because I kissed you!” Kazuma sputtered, pouting, yet still holding the small of Ryunosuke’s back and leaning into the touch.
“Correction, I kissed you.” Ryunosuke hummed, grinning mischievously as Kazuma groaned in frustration.
“After three months of avoiding the obvious!”
“The obvious !?”
“Partner, people thought we were dating since last year.”
”Kazuma Asogi, star student of Yumei University, entertaining rumors? How scandalous..”
”You can take that hand off your forehead partner, for I fear it’s not that cut and dry.”
”oh do tell, I’d love to hear your explanation.”
”well, correct me if I’m wrong, but I seem to have heard of a certain someone being very hesitant to dissuade such rumors..”
“!!”
“Lost for words?”
”K-KAZUMA!”
The faux argument dissolves quickly, for the pair is too delighted to debate. Bright laughter fills the air as Kazuma Asogi and Ryunosuke Naruhodo finally accept their feelings.