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November 29s

Summary:

All of Sanemi's birthdays he celebrated during his time in the corps.

Notes:

Man, I waited for ages for Nov 29 to come but when the day finally did come, I was praying it wouldn't come at all because I'm swamped with schoolwork and deadlines hahaha! But please anyway, enjoy as always!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Warm hands tended to Sanemi's wounds, delicately interweaving strands of bandages all over his left arm, covering all his old and new wounds. He would never admit it but this is the only time he could actually let his guard down and relax. His colleague, the Flower Pillar, the one who was tending his injuries, started humming softly.

She finished his left arm, turning it from side to side to find any loose ends. When there was none, she gently let his arm go and gestured for his right. He gave it to her and briefly glanced at her face before turning his head again to stare at something else. This girl was always smiling and Sanemi could never find an appropriate reason for her to smile this much, all the time.

"Today is your birthday, isn't it?" Kanae asked softly.

Sanemi nearly missed that. Everything about her was just so light and delicate, as opposed to his character which is rugged and loud. He was used to people being loud and obnoxious around him, partly also because of him. He even finds it hard to realize that she was a pillar before him. Someone of her character as one of the highest-ranking demon slayers in the corps? Unbelievable.

He glanced at the calendar on the wall behind her. November 29th. It is today.

"Happy birthday, Shinazugawa-kun!" she greeted before he could confirm or rebut the question. Kanae happened to be grasping his right hand and she let out a huge smile.

He felt awkward. No one greeted him on his birthday anymore and there were times when he forgot to realize that he was already a year older. How old is he supposed to be anyway? Doing a quick calculation in his head, he found out that he was 15 this year. He returned his attention back to her and her blinding smile.

"Thanks," he responded, choking on the word. He was supposed to nod but somehow, his brain forced him to spit the word out. Never mind, she did a lot for him since the day he joined the corps, the least he could do was to respond and thank her once in a while.

Her smile turned brighter and she resumed her bandaging process. He was going to stare into space again when she continued the conversation.

"So? Do you have plans for your birthday?"

Sanemi scoffed. Plans for his birthday? In this demon-infested world? Trash and absolutely unnecessary. They, rather he, don't have the luxury to party and be happy. It's a waste of time and energy, completely useless. He could use the time to train and kill more demons instead.

Kanae giggled. He looked at her confusingly, wondering if he said his thoughts out loud.

"You don't have to be so angry about it, Shinazugawa-kun. Birthdays are special and they are meant to be celebrated," she explained, eyes shining. He hurriedly put his guard back up in case she decided to mess with him again. He replied nothing to that.

"You know, the three of us with Tomioka-kun are of the same age. What if we invite him to go and celebrate your birthday? I'm sure Oyakata-sama won't mind," Kanae said, glancing up at him through her eyelashes. She snorted, noticing Sanemi's even more enraged expression.

"No thanks," he managed to say civilly. "I don't need that guy to celebrate with me. And you don't need to come as well! I'm not celebrating my birthdays anymore so you don't need to plan one."

"Here, it's done!" Kanae let go of his arm, which he actually forgot that she was holding. "Try flexing your arms and tell me if the bandages are too tight."

Sanemi followed her instructions, flexing both his arms and hands. It did feel tighter than before, but he thinks it was a countermeasure that she devised for him each time he slashes it open. He can see it in her eyes that she was displeased whenever he comes back for treatment.

"It's okay." And as an additional thought for patching him up again, he added, "thanks."

"You're welcome!" she replied cheerfully. Sanemi stood up and moved towards her door. "Please don't cut open your arms again!"

><><><><><><><

"I'm going to shut this door in front of you."

Sanemi was training in his front yard when he heard someone knock on his gate. Without a thought in his head, he opened the gate, expecting it to be a kakushi bringing his laundered uniforms back or those neighboring kids who always think they're so funny. However, he found someone even more annoying.

"But I brought cakes!" Kanae exclaimed, holding up a basket covered with a flower-patterned cloth.

As if that was a justifiable reason for him.

"Why are you here?" he finally relented to ask, firmly standing over the doorway, not letting her pass or come in.

"To celebrate your birthday, of course! And just so you know, I didn't invite Tomioka-kun since you didn't want him to come."

Sanemi remembered he specifically told her not to come too.

He frustratingly rubbed his palm on his face. "I didn't– I don't want– Go awa–" How does he get this girl off his back? Most people would turn away when he so much as glared at them. This girl, however, was still smiling pleasantly as always. He thinks that he wouldn't hesitate to be rough with her if push comes to shove. He had clearly told her this morning that he was not doing it.

"Oh! Are you training, Shinazugawa-kun?" Kanae asked, peeking inside. She lithely slipped inside and pick up the wooden sword he dropped a while ago. "We can train first then eat the cakes afterward!"

"What makes you think I'll agree to that?" The words tumbled out before he could stop himself.

"Uhm," she stopped in her tracks on the way to put down her basket. Then she turned around and pointed the sword at him, a big grin on her face. "Because you've never defeated me!"

Wrong. He'd defeated her thrice in their eight matches. She was only pulling ahead by two points. An easy distance to catch up to her. But he hated losing. She must have noticed how much that irritated him. The more mature way to not get caught up in her plan is to decline the invitation and essentially throw her out of his house.

But he really hated losing, especially to someone like her.

Sanemi wordlessly closed the gate and went to pick up another wooden sword from the shed. He walked to the middle of the clearing where Kanae was already standing and assumed his stance.

><><><><><><><

"Now, we're even! Next time, I'll make sure to defeat you!"

They ended up playing two matches and he won both of them. Just as he said, an easy distance to catch up to.

"Yay, congratulations Shinazugawa-kun!" Kanae grinned and showed a peace sign. "But who's to say that I might have lost on purpose? It's your birthday, after all."

Sanemi leaped up from the ground, crumbs falling from his lap. "Rematch!" he shouted red-faced, pointing the sword at her stupid, smiling face. She never lost that smile throughout their training, it was getting on his nerves so fucking much. And to think that she might have lost on purpose when he gave his all, it's even worse.

"No~"

He stood his ground. They stared at each other. He watched her face transition from an elfish expression to that of concern and worry.

"I'm sorry, I was joking. I didn't lose on purpose," Kanae eventually revealed. She patted the ground next to her, implying to Sanemi that he should sit.

He lowered his sword but he didn't sit down. He doesn't know whether to believe her or not. Sanemi had since learned that she has two sides, the kind and gentle one that is her trademark character, and the teasing, insufferable one that often preyed on him. Unfortunately, she was showing more of that latter side today.

Her already small smile slowly disappeared. She stood up to look him in the eye, guilt filling up in her. "I'm sorry for lying," Kanae apologized. "Please don't get mad."

Sanemi turned his head away before remorse could fill him up. Looking at those eyes, it's never a good thing to stare in. He grudgingly sat down.

"Next time," he grumbled. "Fight fairly."

"Of course!" And just like that, her smile is back again.

He put down the sword and noticed that he was still holding a piece of cake in his other. She brought this in the basket with her, claiming that it was her birthday present to him. He sighed. She's just as annoying as Masachika was.

Deciding to finally eat it, he put it whole in his mouth. Kanae sat down and she slightly leaned towards him. Sanemi apprehended her with a look. Why is she suddenly staring intently at him?

"Sorry, it's just… how does it taste? Is it edible? Horrible? Too much sugar?" she asked quickly. She had one in her own hands but she didn't eat it.

Edible? Is she trying to poison him? Did she buy an expired cake? Can cakes expire? He slowed his chewing process and tried to detect an unknown or poison-tasting substance. But so far, it doesn't taste horrible.

"It's good," he said after swallowing. He doesn't remember if he had actually eaten a cake before so he can't really compare the tastes. And strictly speaking, it's been so long since he had a proper celebration on his birthday or on any other special day. "I—I don't know if it's too much sugar."

She nodded but didn't look too convinced. She shoved her cake into her mouth and chewed slowly. Sanemi watched her turn her head from side to side, gauging the taste of the cake on her own.

"Okay," she finally said. "Not too bad."

She pushed the basket to him. "Take some more. It's yours."

"I told you, you don't need to."

"But I want to. Take it, I promise I won't give you anything for Christmas."

Kanae's innocent eyes bore into his. She's always going out of her way to do something nice for other people. Whenever she does this, alarms and signals are wailing in his head. No one gives away something for free, there's always a price to pay. Does she not get tired of his cold shoulder toward her? He can perfectly reject her and her cakes any day, yet why does she have to insist that they celebrate his birthday? And why does he always feel bad every time he tries to reject her?

"Fine. Thanks." He picked up another one, just because his stomach was empty after the coincidentally suggested training session. He pushed the basket back to her. "You take some too."

Again, Sanemi feels awkward doing this. Basically, he just wanted to share the cakes with her because she might be hungry after the match too. Plus, he didn't want to look like a brat eating all of it on his own. But, he couldn't. The word 'share' just won't spit out of his mouth.

"Thank you~ I'll take one more then," she replied, delicately picking another one from the basket.

They munched on the cakes, each to their own thoughts. It was actually great that she brought food with her because he needn't buy or cook dinner for himself later, which means more time for demon hunting. As a present to himself, he decided that he was going to kill more demons than his daily quota.

Yeah, that sounds good.

"Oh, I might need to leave earlier than I thought," Kanae announced from his side. Sanemi followed her line of vision to a crow on the horizon. It carried a rolled-up note on its leg.

The crow landed on her outstretched arm and she untied the message from its legs. Sanemi kept his eyes on the ground as she read through the contents.

"I need to head west, to a town not too far from here. Still, I'll need to go early to do a proper investigation, especially when the sun is about to set" she shared, tucking the note in her haori.

"Go," he said the word that he's been itching to say and the opportunity finally came to him without sounding rude.

She stood up and dusted herself, combing her hair free and properly hiding her sword on her waist. Sanemi stood up too. "Are you resting after this?" she asked curiously.

"No," he replied, stooping to cover the basket to keep the cakes warm. "I'll make some rounds and then turn myself in."

"Okay, your arms Shinazugawa-kun, please don't destroy the bandages." She gestured to his arms pointedly, sounding awfully like his mother.

Sanemi rolled his eyes. "Just go."

They bid goodbye at his gate. He watched her run away, her crow guiding her through the sunlight-filtered trees.

"Kochou, wait!" he suddenly bellowed. Kanae stopped a few meters away from him and looked back. He cupped his hands around his mouth and hollered at the top of his lungs. "Don't tell anyone else my birthdate!"

He could just make out her confused features but her crow cawed and she only managed to nod before running away.

+×+×+×+×+×+×+×+×+×+×+

"Hey, Shinazugawa-kun," Sanemi turned to her, eyebrows raising. "Happy birthday," Kanae whispered cheerfully.

He looked at her exasperatedly. "Didn't you say that they both know too?" He gestured to Aoi and Kanao locked in a practice match together.

"Oh come on, I just want to make it fun!" Kanae laughed softly, trying not to distract the two girls in a practice match. "And don't worry, I told them not to tell anyone."

Sanemi sighed. He doesn't really mind if the blue girl and the quiet girl know. The last time he shouted that to her after she left was because he suddenly had a horrific vision of all the pillars celebrating his birthday. Safe to say that he panicked and hopefully killed whatever big plans she had thought for this year. Especially with that alcohol addict Sound Pillar and loud as fuck Flame Pillar, when those two are drunk together, he swears the whole town would come to complain.

"Ah, come come! Here's the dessert you asked for a few weeks ago!" Kanae decisively looped her arm through his and dragged him to the patio of his own house. She brought the basket again with the same offending flower-patterned cloth over it. She handed it over to him, excited expectation evident on her face.

Hesitantly, he received it. He knew what kind of dessert she was talking about because she pestered him for this months prior to November. He finally gave in some time ago just to stop her from flitting around him every time they crossed paths. If it wasn't clear to him before, she was dead serious about celebrating his birthday again.

He took one last look at her eager face and uncovered the basket. Palm-sized, round, colorful ohagi lay neatly placed inside it, filled to the brim. Despite himself, excitement coursed through him seeing this much of his favorite food.

"Go, take one, and tell me how it tastes!" Kanae urged him. Again despite himself, the corner of his lips lifted a bit.

He carefully took a reddish brown one from the side of the basket and ate it whole in his mouth. He chewed on it, thoughtfully assessing how it was made. It was definitely sweet but just the right amount that he liked, anymore sweeter than this was tolerable but not enjoyable. The stickiness of the rice was nice too, with not too much effort needed in moving his mouth. The maker of this ohagi probably isn't around his area for he already scouted all the bakeries and dessert-makers in his town. Therefore, it must be made by someone in her town.

Yeah, he was going to enjoy going through these for sure.

"How is it?" Kanae repeated her question earlier. He forgot that she was there waiting for his critique.

"It's okay," he declared after swallowing. Even though these ohagi meet all the criteria in his book, nothing will ever beat his mother's recipe. And just 'cause it's his favorite food, he went ahead and became stricter on the score. Enjoyable, nevertheless.

"Okay," she parroted and closed her eyes briefly. He nudged her with the basket, silently implying that she take one too.

Kanae smiled and took one gracefully, popping it into her mouth like he did. Sanemi noticed that she would have been an all-around ladylike figure, what with her looks and the way she talks and acts. But for some reason, she doesn't eat daintily like he's seen other women eat, instead, she shoves the whole piece into her mouth like men do. But where men looked like pigs, she looked like a squirrel. He finds it real amusing sometimes.

A cold wind blew across his lawn, and several brown and dried leaves flew all around them. He dropped another ohagi into his mouth as he watched the leaves swirl. He never bothered to rake those away, finding them an appropriate obstacle for real-life confrontations with demons. The two girls fighting also didn't stop to take a breather.

"Shinazugawa-kun, do you want anything different for next year?"

This again? They're still in the midst of his 16th birthday and she's already asking about the next. However, he shouldn't be surprised at all. This woman chased him around for half the year just to ask the same question. He now knows it'll be fruitless to ignore her.

Thinking about it again, there's still nothing special that he wanted. If she could grant Muzan's early death that would be great. But if she's asking for down-to-earth requests, he has nothing. He wanted nothing. He can think of a list of things not to do on his birthday, but something he wants?

Nothing at all.

"Just the same. Ohagi and don't tell anyone about my birthday," he finally answered. He's still not risking an all-out celebration with all the pillars. And from what he's seen from being dragged to evenings out with them, they're even worse now.

"Nothing else?" she dubiously asked.

He made eye contact with her and firmly shook his head. She started to smile and he immediately looked away.

"Alright. But am I really the only one who knows your birthday?"

"Assuming you didn't tell anyone else, yeah."

"Does that mean I'm special?"

"To hell with that!" he barked, neck flushing. "I don't even know how you knew!"

Kanae chuckled. "You wrote it in your medical records, remember? All new slayers are required to fill one."

"So you snooped."

"No, I didn't!" Sanemi noted her disbelief at him with satisfaction. "I just realized last year when I saw your records! I would never do that!"

"Who knows?"

Kanae jumped to her feet and faced him indignantly. Sanemi laughed at her red expression. It was a feat of achievement each time he turned the tables on her.

"Sit down Kochou," he grinned and waved her away. "Watch them fight. I was just messing with you."

Kanae huffed and sat down. "Maybe I'll give you rocks next year."

"You can give me that one right now," he pointed to a large rock on the ground. "I'll count it as next year's gift."

"Give me more credit, Shinazugawa-kun," she complained lightly, resting her chin on her hand. "Just wait till I give you the sun."

It wasn't until he gave her a weird look that she laughed and he followed suit. Kanae then apologized for dropping by with Aoi and Kanao, seeking to train them with him. She added that his birthday should be a relaxing one for him, not the other way around at the exact same time dead leaves flew to their faces as a result of the girls' match. And as a result of the additional people and training, his yard was made even messier than before.

But he waves it off again. "I like it better this way."

"Are you sure?" Kanae repeated, grasping her hands on her lap. He nodded and she went silent for a while.

"Then why don't we make it more fun? Let's bet to see who'll win between Aoi and Kanao. Whoever's fighter win will add another point to their score!"

Sanemi considered her idea. It wasn't bad. A better way to focus on those two and kill time actually. Right now, he and Kanae both have twenty-one points. A draw to be decided and broken by two other players.

"Let's reveal who we picked in a bit, okay?" He nodded to her proposition.

He leaned back and turned to the girls. Both of them were fighting with equal strength and skill despite different breathing forms. But the quiet girl had more talent to her than he realized. When he sparred with her a while ago, she was able to read each of his moves perfectly, but she still took a while to learn how to properly counter it. She has sharper eyesight than the average person yet she'll need more practice and experience with other fighters to maximize her potential. Surprisingly, the blue girl was keeping up with her despite her lack of special talent.

It was an obvious choice to make if Sanemi wants to win another point from the draw and widen the gap. He glanced at Kanae to gauge her expression. Since it's his birthday, she most probably would choose blue girl so she could give him a lead on purpose. He was sure she noticed the difference, she spent far more time with them anyway.

He frowned. There is no point in this game at all if the outcome is clear. So if there's no point, he'll just have to let her reveal her fighter first.

"Kochou," he started. She turned to him expectantly. "You go first."

"Obviously, I choose Kanao," Kanae answered matter-of-factly. "I personally coached her in some of the forms, it's only natural that I choose my own student. Plus, we use the same breathing form. Birds of a feather flock together, right?"

He stared at her, speechless.

Tch. And here I thought. Looks like she kept her word from last year after all.

"Then I bet on blue girl," he replied and crossed his arms. "She could still win if she moves faster."

In the end, the quiet girl won. Kanae subtly sent him a really smug grin after inviting them to rest on his (own) patio.

22-21. Even though he sabotaged himself, it was still annoying to lose. He's going to have to focus his coaching on the blue girl more later.

"Oi," he thrust the basket of ohagi to Aoi and Kanao who jumped. "Eat."

They both looked at Kanae first before hesitantly taking one from the basket. He offered again to Kanae but she smilingly declined the offer. He helped himself to another one and idly stared at the horizon. It was almost time for the sun to set.

And just like last year, he saw Kanae's crow soaring towards them with a note attached to its leg. It landed on her shoulder, ruffling its feathers while she read the note. She stared at it for a while, a worried expression surfacing.

"What?" Sanemi asked.

"Hm?" Kanae mumbled absentmindedly, then she snapped to attention. "Oh, there's another mission, but the location is in the opposite direction of the Butterfly Mansion. If I send Aoi and Kanao home right now, I might arrive too late for the mission…"

"You go on your mission, I'll bring them home," he replied, surprising even himself. She also looks surprised but it was quickly masked with worry.

"Are you sure?" Her eyebrows creased even more. "Maybe I'll ask Shinobu or a kakushi to—"

"Yeah, it's fine," Sanemi butted in, cutting her off. "The Butterfly Mansion is not that far."

"I'm sorry that you're on babysitting duty on your birthday," she apologized again at the gate. "I didn't want to take any more of your time."

He reassured her again that it was not a burden on him. "You've done a lot for me. This is something I could do for you once in a while."

"Once in a while only?" she repeated, smiling mischievously at him and instantly back to her old self.

There's that glint in her eye again. She jumps at any chance to mess with him yet, it doesn't feel that much annoying anymore. Before, that glint used to shine like a warning beacon, reminding him of some possible trouble he'll have to escape or avoid, now Sanemi guessed he is somewhat used to it. It's not bad, but it's technically and definitely still not a good thing either.

"Yeah, yeah, whenever I have the time, I'll help you out," he muttered, giving in.

"Woah!" Her eyes rounded to saucers, hardly daring to believe he agreed to that. "Then thank you very much!" she exclaimed and saluted him, having the most gleeful expression on her face. She waved toward the girls. "Bye Aoi, Kanao! Take care, you three!"

"See you," he said in an undertone after she sprinted away, long hair wildly flowing behind. He stared at her hair, wondering how in the hell does it not get in the way of things. Plus, it always looks beautifully smooth and well-kept, with not a tangle in sight.

Sanemi quickly shook his head, realizing he was already staring at a dot of her on the horizon. He turned to the girls behind him, who are thankfully also staring after Kanae. He cracked his knuckles, planning to cram more training in before he brings them home.

"There's some time left," he announced as he ushered them back in. "Let's get back to training."

They managed to train until some hours in the early evening. He underestimated their resolve when they asked for more practice with him, which he could not decline. True to his word, he focused more on his coaching with the blue girl as the quiet girl listened. He has a feeling that the quiet girl will turn out okay even if he wasn't teaching her that much. And now as they arrived at the Butterfly Mansion, both girls bowed their heads toward him in gratitude.

"Thank you for the training today Shinazugawa-sama, we are grateful for all the things you taught us," Aoi said. "And happy birthday, I wish you good health and safety in your missions."

He nodded, subtly surprised that she also bothered to wish him a good day. They turned towards Kanao who turned scarlet and started sweating nervously. Kanae told him that the quiet girl had problems expressing herself so he instinctively patted her head.

"Just go inside and take a proper rest you two."

They nodded mutely and entered the Butterfly Mansion. Sanemi listened to another door closing before going on his way. Walking alone in the night, he allowed himself to smile at the prospect of snacking on the gifted ohagi again once he got home.

Maybe it's not bad to look forward to something every once in a while.

+×+×+×+×+×+×+×+×+×+×+

"Oh! Your front yard is well kept today, Shinazugawa-kun," Kanae commented when she stepped inside his place.

Sanemi scratched his head, surveying his own place. Was it that messy last time that she immediately noticed the difference?

"It wasn't that messy before," he defended aggressively. "Besides, it was an ideal training condition for real-life fights!"

"Oh, really? I didn't notice." Her voice dripped with light laughter. She placed her basket (of ohagi, he's assuming) down on the patio and picked up a wooden sword he prepared beforehand. "Training?"

"If you want, I didn't know about your injury," he pointed to her right hand bandaged neatly. "We can skip it."

"Let's train! I can handle this one," she claimed, happily waving her right hand holding the sword. "I'll tell you when it hurts."

He looked at her skeptically. The wound is covered neatly and the bandage looks new. He also hasn't seen her in the past few days so he doesn't know how long the wound has been there. But he knows that she's an honest person so he can trust her to tell him when it hurts. Most of the time. Maybe.

"Tell me when it hurts and we'll stop," he repeated, grabbing his own sword. "But I still won't go easy on you."

"Got it, thank you~"

><><><><><><><

Kanae dropped her sword disdainfully. "As expected, I lost this one." She inspected her right hand, frowning at the gauzy red stains of her own blood.

Sanemi walked towards her, curious about her wound. Then feeling guilty, he apologized for going too hard.

"It's fine. I was the one who pushed for another one."

"You should replace the bandage." He grabbed her wooden sword from the ground and walked back to his house. "I'll grab one for it."

Sanemi returned to the front yard where Kanae retreated and sat down with her. He gave her the medical stuff she gave him some years back in case of emergencies. He watched her untie the bandage and clean the blood. A couple of clean bruises run across the palm of her hand rubbed raw from too much training and practice. The most common wound every hardworking demon slayer suffers from.

Kanae disinfects it with the stuff he brought and started to tie the bandage on her hand. She lifts one end of the bandage to him.

"Can you hold this over the other—?" she asked meekly, bringing both hands up.

He took hold of the end and followed her instructions, as properly as he could.

"No, wait— I'm sorry it's the other way… yeah and… wait, how many times have we wrapped this part already?" she fumbled over her words and actions, giggling slightly over herself.

"Give it. Let me do it," he eventually sighed and said. Kanae gave him the other end together with her right hand. She gazed at him wide-eyed.

"You know how to?"

"No, but I watched this so many times that I remember how it goes," he explained and started doing the process. It felt foreign to his hands, gently bandaging another comrade's hand, but his memory served as a guide, remembering how she did it all throughout the years. "And what kind of medic doesn't know how to bandage on their own?" he added pointedly.

"Hey! Don't judge me! You've got no grounds to complain on because I did yours all the time," she countered, justifying her defense. "I always find Shinobu to do mine. I never got the hang of doing it on my own."

"Done," he finished, tying it neatly. He glanced at her. "Is that right? Is it too tight?"

Kanae wiggled her fingers and flexed her hand. Her eyebrows rose, impressed at his handiwork.

"Woah, it's great… it's comfortable," she replied, ogling at her hand in awe. "Thank you, Shinazugawa-kun!"

A corner of his mouth lifted up haughtily. "Be careful with training next time," he told her.

She nodded. "The tables have turned," she joked as she helped him return the medical supplies.

They sat back on the patio again. Kanae grabbed her basket and gave it to him.

"Ohagi, as you requested," she smiled at him, a smile that could rival the sun yet. "Happy birthday, Shinazugawa-kun."

"Thanks."

Receiving the basket, he lifted the flower-patterned cloth. The smell of sweet mochi wafted to his nose. Colorful mounds of dessert topped each other, comfortably fitted inside. He wonders if it's from the same dessert maker or if she bought from a different one this time.

He swiftly popped one into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. Meanwhile, Kanae placed her chin on her good hand and waited for his comments. Somehow, these ohagi tasted sweeter than before, but he recognized that it was made by the same person. The maker probably practiced more to achieve what they wanted.

"I like it. It's better than before," he said, looking at her and grabbing another one.

"Yaaay," she celebrated softly, a bigger smile donned on her face. He turned away, feeling something tug at his heartstrings.

He pushed the basket to her and she grabbed one for herself. As usual, she ate it whole in her mouth. He watched with interest as her cheeks rounded and bulged, resembling a squirrel. He wanted to try poking her face for once.

Sanemi cleared his head. That sounded wrong.

"Can I borrow your hand, Shinazugawa-kun?" Kanae asked, squirrel cheeks gone.

He quirked an eyebrow. "What for?"

"I just want to try something," she replied. She held out her hand, waiting for his.

"Left or right?"

"Whichever, I guess."

Sanemi gave her his right hand since it was the closest to her. She held her right hand against his and seemed to be comparing their fingers. None of their fingers match at the same length. She asked for the other one and he gave it to her again. She did the same thing and none of their fingers matched again. Kanae held in a sigh and dropped her hand.

"What's it for?" he asked again. She glanced at him briefly.

"Uhm, there's this saying," she started. "They said that if a woman's ring finger matches the length of a man's pinky, uh… they'll get married."

Instead of reacting violently, he snorted and then laughed. Right, she would exactly be the type to believe in these things. These things are stupid and baseless, invented to be nothing but a nuisance.

"Stop laughing," Kanae whined, jutting her lower lip out. "I was just wondering if it's true."

"How are you going to prove that we're gonna marry in the future if our fingers did match?" he challenged her.

She shrugged and then grinned. "I don't know. Maybe expectations?"

"You should have just asked a married couple instead." He picked another ohagi and munched on it.

"It's kind of weird to walk to a random couple and ask to measure their finger length."

"You could ask Uzui and his wives," he mumbled around his ohagi. "He has three so maybe one of them would match."

"Oh, that's right!" she gasped. Sanemi side-eyed her. He couldn't believe that she forgot. "I'll ask them next time I see them."

Quiet settled around them again. He thought of what she said and quelled his panic inside. Them in the future? His future looks bleak with blood splashing and steel clanging. He imagined it was the same for her too. Where the hell does she hear all of this random shit anyway?

Despite his first comments about it, he found himself asking her the following question. "Do you really believe in those?"

"No. I don't. But, I'm grabbing at any evidence I can get," she replied, smiling at her bandaged hand.

He grimaced. He didn’t understand what evidence she meant and he didn't want to ask further. Her world is far more different for him to understand. It's a mystery that even the smartest or most diligent would never get. At least she's sensible enough to know that these sayings are bullshit.

"Give me your hand again," she suddenly spoke up. Her voice sounded pinched.

He obliged, giving his right hand palm up. Smirking, he mocked, "Another saying?"

Kanae shook her head. She glanced at him for a second then immediately clasped her hand with his, wiggling her fingers in between. He looked at their hands in the air, waiting for something to happen or for her to explain. A couple of seconds passed, even a minute, and he was still staring dumbly.

"What are you doing?" he finally asked her. His right arm was starting to get tired of carrying both their weight.

"My hand is cold," she uttered, facing the other way. He almost barely heard her.

"Let's go inside, I'll light a fire," he suggested, getting up to leave.

"No!" Kanae squeaked, accidentally tugging him down once. Sanemi was surprised to see her looking panicked. Clearing her throat, she repeated, "No thank you, I want to watch the sunset."

"Okay," he said and fixed his position again, finally lowering their hands. They gazed at the sky, waiting for the sun to set. He grabbed another ohagi and shoved it into his mouth.

This year's birthday was peaceful too. He was glad she didn't tell anyone else, glad that she understood he didn't want a big celebration. After joining the corps, he never expected to celebrate his birthday or any other special occasion again. The colors and joys of life are forever muted. He has long since known that happiness balances on a thin sheet of ice, that's why he doesn't find anything worthwhile in celebrating his birthday. It's as normal as any other day.

Nothing special.

But since the day she found out about his birthdate, he's been humoring her because she annoyingly doesn't stop pestering him. He still finds it hard to reject her stupid little projects, frustrating as it is. They pop up like small mosquitoes and then he'll find himself helping her plant flowers in his own front yard and learning how to brew relief concoctions. But if his birthdays stay like this, hopefully, they'll last longer in his worthless life.

Because, today didn't look as bad as his normal days.

For the third year in a row, Kanae's crow came flying from the horizon. It stopped at a nearby tree and cocked its head toward them. He turned to her to point it out because she might need to know its presence.

Kanae had her head bowed down, hair flowed forward concealing her face. Through the little gaps in her hair, Sanemi saw her face flushed red. He frowned. Is she that cold? His eyes wandered toward their hands. Did holding hands even help her warm up?

He blinked.

What?

Holding hands.

They're holding hands.

How did he not notice that they were holding hands?! How did she—?! And he allowed it so casually too! The Flower Pillar everyone in the corps adores flirted with him and he just received her advances just like that?

What is wrong with him? What is wrong with her?!

He discreetly looked back at Kanae's crow, expecting to receive backlash from it. But her crow's head was tucked under its wing. So much for a mission.

He looked back at her. Redness was still evident on her face but he couldn't glimpse her eyes without being obvious. And frankly, he didn't want to see it. He's not prepared. If there's ever a time to avoid her eyes, it's this moment. And that tug at his heartstrings was getting stronger. Heat was crawling up his own face.

Sanemi focused back on the sunset. He calmed himself down. They're holding hands and it's not that bad. Maybe she really is just cold. It's almost December. The wind gets stronger around this time. Women get cold easily.

And maybe, he does feel a little warmth coming from their hands.

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Sanemi arrived at the Butterfly Mansion, entering the estate on his own. No one received him. He stepped inside and marched towards the front door. Suddenly, the door rattled on its own and opened, revealing Kanae herself.

"Shinazugawa-kun! You came," she exclaimed as she stared at him wide-eyed. She looked uncharacteristically shocked. "Aoi mentioned that you might come."

He peered at her confusedly. He just arrived. No one noticed him enter the mansion, much less greeted him. Maybe blue girl saw him through one of the windows.

"Are you okay?" he asked instead.

On cue, Kanae coughed, covering her mouth. Smiling sadly at him, she said, "I'm sorry I couldn't make it to your house today."

"You're sick."

"Yes. I didn't expect to get sick on your birthday."

Sanemi thought that it was a shame. Of course, her health comes first above all else. She's an important person in the corps after all. They needed her. At least, it only seemed to be a common cold.

"Maybe you want to sit out here instead?" she sounded hopeful. "I can bring tea."

She didn't have to ask. He came because he wanted to spend his birthday with her again. Sanemi nodded. Her face lit up, her grin stretching to the sides of her cheek. He habitually looks away.

"I'm sorry that I didn't prepare ohagi this time," she said as she placed a tea tray beside her.

"You're sick. Your health comes first." He spots a small insect on one of the leaves in the garden in front of them. He wasn't too sure, but it looks like a beetle.

She nodded calmly, a melancholic smile on her face. "My health comes first," she repeated softly. "Thank you."

She served him tea and rotated her body to give it to him. He reached for it, careful not to touch her hands.

"Oh!" she jumped and he still managed to touch it. "That's right! Happy birthday, Shinazugawa-kun! You're 18 now, right?"

Slowly, a smile formed on his face. He took the tea that she offered. "You really just remembered now? I was waiting for you to say it."

Kanae laughed out loud. He liked that sound, it just took him longer to realize.

"Yes and no. I never forgot your birthday. I was focused on finding the right opportunity to greet you that I actually forgot to greet you."

"Just mention it like a normal person," he said, raising the cup to his mouth.

"But I wanted to make it special, especially since I didn't prepare a gift for you," she argued. Sanemi feels warm inside and it's not from the tea that he just drank. "Although that wasn't the greatest opportunity, no?"

"I don't care. It doesn't really matter to me when you say it," he responded. He wanted to add that he'll still acknowledge it even if she greeted him a day earlier or later.

Cat's got his tongue.

A round of silence ended their short conversation. He focused back on the small beetle and listened around him. He noticed that it was strangely quiet at the estate since he first stepped foot. There's always one to two people outside doing something. And, Kanae looks relaxed, too relaxed. At this point, someone should have rushed toward them and interrupted their conversation to speak to her. He guessed it was perhaps she herself was sick, so maybe she got a free day herself.

"I'm sorry for not telling anyone else about your birthday," Kanae suddenly confessed. He faced her, eyebrows scrunched together. "I think I became a little selfish with that information."

"What do you mean? I asked you not to tell anyone."

"Yes, but you feel lonely," she replied sadly.

What does she mean by that? Is she insulting him? That sounded like a personal attack. He's not like that brainless Water Pillar who drifts around showing his disgusting face. Maybe being sick is muddling her thought process.

"You're here."

A delicate, faint blush colored her cheeks. "Yes, but what I meant—"

Sanemi stretched his hand towards her. "Are you cold?"

He grinned as he saw the blush deepen in color.

Evidence.

"No, I—"

He grabbed her hand, wiggling his fingers in between hers. His heart was going to kill him for doing such a reckless, ambitious move. He heard her exhale a breath.

"You held my hand," she said breathlessly.

"You want me to let go?"

"No!" Kanae exclaimed, tightening her grip. "Don't let go! I want to hold hands with you forever!"

"Don't shout!" he hissed. "Someone might hear you."

She shook her head. "There's no one here, Shinazugawa-kun."

"Don't be stupid, there's always someone here," he replied. An injured slayer, one of the butterfly girls, or even a civilian. This is an infirmary, there's always someone who needs help. But despite his protest earlier, he didn't object when she scooted closer to him.

He arrived a little late today. The sun was starting to set in front of them. Soon, shadows would elongate and consume them in the dark. He wished he followed his gut feeling and visited the Butterfly Mansion earlier.

"Did you eat ohagi today?" she asked.

"No, I didn't have time." He had contemplated buying ohagi on the way here to share with her. "I thought you would come," he added.

The hand in his squeezed apologetically. "I'm sorry," she paused. "I tried to."

"Don't push yourself. You're sick, Kochou," he chastised firmly. "But, thank you for all the others you made in the past years. They were all good."

She froze, then chuckled happily. "Really? I didn't mention that each time I gave them. Who told you?"

"The quiet girl. Tsuyuri Kanao?"

Kanae whipped her head towards him, the other hand covering her mouth. He frowned at her. Why is she so surprised today?

"Kanao? She talks to you?"

"You're acting weird. She talks to anyone as long as you ask something to her. Although, she flips a coin before she answers. How could you not know that?"

She took a while to reply, staring at him still with a flabbergasted expression. Then she laughed offhandedly, a relieved smile surfacing on her face. She covers it up with a comment, but her voice sounded strained.

"I wish I could've heard her so I could stop her from telling you," she said, smiling at her lap. "It's a bit embarrassing now that you know I made those. But I'm so happy that my desserts didn't fail you."

"Please make more next year. I really like the ohagi you make," Sanemi blurted out before he could chicken away. He adamantly looked to the other side and fought to keep his face from reddening.

There was a slight pause before she agreed to his request. "It took you three years to openly ask for something," her voice sounded overridden with happiness and delight. "You don't ask for much… so I'll happily do that for you."

Momentarily, her hand squirmed to let go and she looped her arm through his. She intertwined their hands again and scooted closer to lay her head on his shoulder. All the time she was doing that, Sanemi kept still. Now, his heart is pounding so much louder that it actually hurts. She was so much closer, the smallest distance between them was eliminated. Someone will definitely see them and spread hateful rumors, mostly about him.

But to hell with the rumors, he wants to envelop her in his arms and maybe even kiss her forehead like he's seen couples do, if he's got enough balls. Then he wonders somewhere in his mind if she has ever done this with anyone before him because she was so fucking natural at this. How does she do it so smoothly?

He breathed in and he could detect her flowery, clean scent. He knew it was hers and not from her garden because he carried her on his back once. The idiot sprained her ankle after landing on a weak branch that broke. The torture he went through while she chattered and messed with him nonstop was thankfully not repeated again.

They didn't make any more small talk after the last. Usually, no matter how tired he was, he would continue training during his free time, hacking at dummies and repeating his forms again and again. He avoided dealing with his thoughts, no amount of thinking could kill demons anyway. So this silence with her presence, is the only one he found he could tolerate.

In the next few minutes, they watched the sun fully set and they are blanketed in the temporary calm of the twilight sky.

"Kochou, don't get sick next time. You worried me a lot today." Sanemi was amazed at how calmly and easily he spoke those words to her.

"I won't. I didn't mean to worry you." If it's even more possible, she scooted closer to him, entirely pressing her side to his. Her whole body was tense for whatever reason she didn't want to share. He tried rubbing comforting circles on her hand.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his crow land on the Butterfly Mansion's sakura tree. He could just make out a note tied to its leg.

He squeezed her hand gently. "I need to go."

Kanae's arms unlooped themselves from his arm. They both stood up and faced each other. He really didn't want to leave but his body was already preparing itself to hunt.

"Happy birthday, Shinazugawa-kun," she greeted again. Her face bloomed into a radiant but gentle smile, yet her eyes said otherwise. "Thank you for visiting me."

Sanemi woke up to his crow aggressively tapping his forearm. He waved it away and sat up on the base of a tree. Crickets chirped all around him and his eyes adjusted quickly to the dark. He could see rows of black, even, rectangular stone things erected from the ground in the distance. Some few leaves and dried-up flowers flowed past him.

For the first time since she died, he felt an immeasurable pang of longing and heartache. He sits there with a heavy feeling crushing his heart, knowing that he'd never be able to reach her again, just like the rest of the people he had dared to show his weak side to.

When her death was announced, he had been the angriest he'd been in a long while. He clutched his chest, wishing he could rip out his heart and continue without one.

She had convinced him to lower his walls, he led himself to believe that happiness could still be waiting for him. He had a foolish dream that they might just survive together. He'll court her, be together, get married, have children.

And until then, Sanemi would keep her close.

His crow cawed loudly overhead. He followed the direction it was flying, standing up from the ground just as quickly as Kanae had unlooped her arms.

But they were demon slayers first.

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Notes:

I apologize for posting an angst fic on Sanemi’s birthday, but it's mostly lighthearted and fluffy scenes, right? 🤕

Timeline is not canon. I tried to make sense of or pinpoint their estimated canon timeline prior to writing too, and I realized I don't have enough memory nor brains for it. XDD

Again, thank god Sanemi canonically only has a few years left to live due to his demon slayer mark curse, and then he'll be reunited with his family and Kanae. TMI again but I finished writing this right after I posted Taishou Secrets, so if there are similarities or connections that can be made, it wasn't intentional.

I've been waiting to post this since July, so glad I can now. Please leave your thoughts below! I love reading your comments! It always makes my day 🥰 And for the other comments I still haven’t replied to, I’m sorry I’ve been busy 💔:((((( I will reply to those, but prolly near Christmas already hehe

2nd chapter for the multi-chap au will be up by Christmas, I rlly rlly swear on it !!!

Happy birthday Sanemi! Cheers! :’’’’) 🤍

PS: I, too, am craving for more sanekana fics. Writers and potential reader-writers, don't be shy, post your work and let's support each other!! 😙

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