Work Text:
Everyday is the same
Wake up
School
Piano or violin
It sucks…
I’m 12 why the heck do I have to keep doing this
I’m treated like a possession rather than a son
I hate my dad…
“Do it again Toya”
“Father I have homework to do-“
He kept a yardstick and slapped my wrists with is
It hurts but at least it’s not my cheek and isn’t very visible
“Yes Father…”
“Good, now start from here”
This was an everyday thing I’m really surprised I wasn’t failing school by the little amount of sleep I get because I have to stay up doing work
I started not going home right after school
I’d say that I was practicing piano so I can get my work done
But on days I didn’t have any work, I’d have to practice at school
It was better
Much better
No one would slap my wrist if I messed anything up
No one would yell at me for messing up
But
I did that to myself
I would slam on keys either with my fists or my head if it was really bad
This was one of those days
I was in the choir room where there was always a piano in the middle of the room
I was just practicing a piece to hopefully learn it before Father wanted
That’s when I met him..
I messed up the piece and ended up slamming my head on the keys
“Hey, that sounded great”
I was obviously started by the sudden voice, but I relaxed again
“Is your head okay?”
We ended up talking for a bit and I kept playing, messing up, slamming my hands on the keys, but Akito would tell me it’s okay
So I kept going
He said it sounded great
For once in my life I truly felt loved by someone
He was my first real friend…
That day going home didn’t feel so much like a burden
————————————
“Father?”
“Toya… why have you been home late every singly day this week?”
“Oh umm… I just get so wrapped up in playing piano that I-“
“Then who is this person walking you home everyday?”
Crap…
Akito..
“Oh… he’s my friend, he watches me play piano and takes me home after”
“Hmm…”
He…
Slapped me?
I immediately moved my hands to my cheek and looked up at him
His face was stone cold
“Go to your room”
—————————-
“No no I-I’m sorry”
“So you’ve been lying to me?”
“I-I just wanted a frie-“
“Toya be quiet..”
I saw him pull out the yardstick that he normally uses to slap my wrist
This wasn’t a simple wrist slap….
Anywhere he could hit me without it being visible, I was hit
It hurt a lot
But showing any form of weakness around Father could almost prove deadly
So I sat through it
Hands over my mouth and tears pricking at my eyes
“Toya… stop crying”
“I-I’m not…”
“I see the tears, stop it”
One tear did end up slipping down my cheek which caused further rage in Father
But he let me go
I ran up to my room as soon as he said leave to prevent him from changing his mind
———————————
“Hey Aoyagi, are you still hanging around Shinonome?”
“Hm? Oh yes, Akito’s my friend”
“O-kay.. uh hey you’re smart right? Can you help me with this thing for a class?”
“Umm… sure”
“Great thanks!”
He pulled out a few pieces of paper, I’m assuming it’s math so not too bad
But
He pulled out a ruler… and the way he was holding it reminded me of Father
I flinched away from the ruler in my face
My hands were in front of my face in a defensive way
“Woah you okay?”
“Uhh.. s-sorry..”
‘shitshitshitshitshit’
“Dude why’d you flinch at a ruler like that?”
“Is nothing…”
“Woah what’s up with your wrist!?”
‘SHITSHITSHITSHIT’
“Uh…. I have to go..”
“What do you like get .. beat with a ruler or something?”
“…”
“Oh….”
“I’m sorry I’m leaving now..”
I got up and walked away before he could say anything else
He was in the middle of talking
‘Find Akito. Don’t cry. Find Akito. Don’t cry’
I almost started running away
‘Find Akito. Find…. Fuck’
Crowded room
Crowded….
Can’t… focus
“Toya?”
“Oh shit Toya!”
I don’t know what happened after running into An and Akito
I blinked once and I was in a classroom
“Toya? Oh thank god what happened?
“I-….. don’t really know”
“It’s alright… are you good to go to class?”
“Yeah I’ll be fine”
—————————————-
We went through that year
Not really okay
Akito was still getting crap from every guy in the school
I started getting crap from people because of what was known as
‘The ruler incident’
Most people didn’t think it was funny
Ena was having me and An make sure Akito was okay during school
It was lunch time
An had texted me saying she thought something was off with Akito
Then I got a text from Akito
𝘼𝙠𝙞🧡
𝘮𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮
2𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘳
𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦
Something was off
𝙏𝙤𝙪💙
𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯, 𝘐’𝘮 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘺
I put my phone in my pocket and started walking down a floor
I practically ran to the bathroom and I heard Akito sniffing
“Akito, where are you?”
One of the stall doors opened and I saw Akito standing there
There were tears pricking at his eyes
“R-right here”
I walked over to where he was and he immediately hugged me
“Hey hey shh.. it’s okay. I’m gonna close and lock the stall door okay?”
He gently nodded and I moved my hands to close the stall door, then lock it
“Here sit down, I’ll call your sister”
“Sit with me…. please?”
“Of course Aki”
We sat down closer to the corner and I pulled out my phone to call Ena
Akito eventually started sobbing into my chest
It broke my heart to hear him
After a few rings she picked up
“Hey Toya is everything alright?”
Ena sounded really panicked
“Ena, he broke down during lunch. He texted me to meet him in the bathroom and he’s been sobbing on the
floor for a while now.”
“Do you know what happened?”
“He hasn’t been able to say much. An told me that in one class he looked like he was going to break down, but that’s all I know.”
Akito grabbed onto my shirt tighter and pulled me closer
He started sobbing more violently than before
“”Hey shhh it’s okay I got you, I’m not going anywhere”
I moved one hand to his hair to try and calm him down by playing with it
“P-please… don’t… leave”
“I’m not gonna leave Aki.. I promise”
It’s hard seeing him like this
“Thank you for telling me Toya, I’m gonna hang up now so you can focus on Akito. Bye”
“Goodbye Ena”
I hung up the call and went back to Akito
“Can you tell me what happened? Only if your ready”
“Guys…. Rude…. Trans.. girl”
“Okay that’s good, it tells me enough. Do you wanna get your emotions out?”
“Mhm…”
We sat there for what felt like hours
He was just crying and I was comforting him
He doesn’t deserve this…
———————————-
I felt empty playing piano
The words from a friend from long ago finally caught up to me
I’m not happy doing this
“Father.. I wanna talk”
“What is it?”
“I don’t want to play piano or violin”
He looked me dead in the eyes with a sort of ‘are you joking?’ look
“Toya.. have you ever had a choice on playing piano?”
“No..”
“So what makes you think that you get it now?”
“Umm.. I uh..”
“Toya, look at me, you are an Aoyagi. What were you born to do?”
“Play classic music?”
“Correct. That’s what you will only ever do Toya. I don’t know what these friends of yours have been telling you, but the only choice you will ever have is classical..”
“But have you ever once thought about what I want?!”
“What?”
“I don't want to play classical music, Father! I want to make a choice for myself! There’s so many other genres of music that I want to explore and-“
He slapped me again
It hurt
“Toya…. I don’t want to see you until tomorrow,” he pointed to the door, “get out”
“Wha-“
“Get. Out.”
——————————————
I looked up from the book I was staring at
I couldn’t read the pages. I was too focused on Father..
“Oi Toya you good?”
“Oh yeah I was just just thinking about the first day my father kicked me out for the night”
“When you said you didn’t want to play classical music?”
“Yeah..”
“Hmm,” he put his arms around my neck and scooted closer to me.
“What are you doing?”
“Shh… don’t think about your old man, focus on either me or the book. Can you read it to me?”
“Ah…. Alright here let me summarize what happened. So this person is an investigator, well not yet they’re a really good at detective stuff, and they were put on the case of their father’s murder. There’s very little evidence and from what I’ve gathered, I think they murdered their father. I mean he has a history of abuse and killed his wife so… they have a reason. I’m not that far into the book though.”
“That sounds interesting, keep going”
I started reading out loud
I’ve rambled about books occasionally and I tell Akito to stop me
He never does
He mentioned once that he likes the sound of my voice
I kept reading and we’d comment on things occasionally
It ended up getting really late
“I knew it!”
“Good job Mr. Detective”
“Heh… oh wow it’s late we should go to bed”
“I would but I haven’t taken my binder off yet”
“Akito! Go do it right now”
“But I don’t wanna get up!”
“Aki no… go change please”
“Okay….”
Akito got up and went to grab one of the sweaters from his drawer
“I’ll be right back”
Akito left, probably to go to the bathroom and change
There was a sense of warmth that I miss when he’s gone
I really started to feel sleep overcome my body
I sat there for about a minute before Akito came back
“Alright we should go to sleep now..”
“Mm…” I held my arms out
“Okay okay I’m coming”
He climbed Into my arms
“God you really do get clingy when you’re tired, not complaining though”
I buried my head into his shoulder
He’s always so warm
“Good night Toya”
“Night.. love you”
“Love ya too”