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Jonathan nervously twiddled his thumbs as he stood in the small kitchen of Speedwagon’s flat before taking a deep breath - "Robert, Erina and I were wondering if you’d like to come stay with us after everything?"
Speedwagon laughed slightly while turning his back to Jonathan - “Eh, no thanks there Master Joestar… can’t say I see myself as much of a butler type, ‘fraid I might get bored one day and nick the silver.”
Jonathan chuckled at the image - “No, no, Robert, we’re not asking you to work for us, we’re asking you to live with us!”
Speedwagon busied himself with something in the kitchen, trying his best to avoid Jonathan’s gaze - “Answers still no I’m afraid. I’ve accepted enough of your charity already. I couldn’t possibly ask for any more.”
Jonathan’s smile faltered at Speedwagon’s statement - “Dearest? It wouldn’t be charity. You’d be there as an equal.”
Speedwagon tried his best to stay firm, but his heart hurt at the now familiar term of endearment - “I’m sure it would be lovely Master Joestar, but I’d only get in the way of you and the misses.”
Jonathan was starting to get frustrated - “Now listen, Robert, please stop calling me that and please just listen to me! You wouldn’t be a guest or a burden and you certainly wouldn’t get in the way I- we want you to stay with us as a member of our family . …Understand?”
Speedwagon started fiddling with something else on the counter, his heart aching - “I’m sorry, it’s still a no.”
Jonathan was confused - “But why ?! Robert? Dearest? All those nights we had together before now, how we would talk about the future. We were always in those plans together! I still want that more than ever… Don’t you?”
Speedwagon felt his chest ache and his eyes began to prick with tears, but he knew what he had to do. Laughing softly - “Those were just silly dreams to keep us warm at night and once you and Erina get married, you won’t be needin’ a scoundrel like me warming your bed anymore.”
Jonathan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It certainly didn’t feel like silly dreams at the time, still he felt like he hadn’t gotten to the bottom of what was going on just yet. Pressing further - “Fine, but then what about all the times we made love? Hmm? Surely you can’t deny that!”
Speedwagon felt himself being torn apart inside. Of course all those nights meant something. They meant the world to him, but Speedwagon couldn’t admit it. Jonathan was moving on, he was getting married to a right proper lady and he refused to be a third wheel or a dirty little secret that could damage the noble standing of someone as wonderful as his Jonathan. But he wasn’t his Jonathan anymore and Speedwagon had to make sure Jonathan could never be hurt by being associated with a criminal like him. Taking a steadying breath, Speedwagon pushed down his emotions, feigning another laugh - “A few quick shags behind closed doors and suddenly it’s love? Please, there was never no such thing as ‘us’ making love. Don’t worry, you’ll learn the difference soon enough once you’ve had your misses.”
Jonathan was taken aback. He knew enough that what they had wasn’t how Speedwagon was painting it. Soft gentle kisses and whispered words of love and promise weren’t exactly the hallmark of a quick fling. Jonathan could tell that Speedwagon was purposefully trying to hurt him and of course it was working, but why was he trying to push Jonathan away so hard? Did he think Jonathan wouldn’t need him around simply because he was getting married to Erina? Jonathan himself couldn’t fully explain it and maybe it was solely out of pure selfishness, but he loved them both equally, but differently at the same time. He could neither choose one over the other and had confessed as much to Erina before he had proposed. She seemed to understand and was even the one to encourage him to talk to Robert about him living with them as another spouse to Jonathan. So why was Speedwagon being so difficult? Had he really misread the man so much? Jonathan had to be sure - “Fine… If all that we had meant absolutely nothing to you… then fine… but just- that is, if you would… Give me one last kiss before we say goodbye? One last moment that I could have to hold onto incase I never see you again?”
Speedwagon cringed at the sound of Jonathan’s broken voice. Was he being a fool? But what else could he do? Jonathan would have a much better life without him and the shame and scorn that being with him brought. Jonathan was a gentleman after all and he… well, Speedwagon didn’t know what he was anymore, but he’d figure that out eventually. Still he couldn’t deny Jonathan his one last request and if he did it right; kept the kiss chaste and detached, perhaps Jonathan would even believe that he actually didn’t care about him anymore. Steeling himself he turned to finally face the one person he loved most in the whole wide world. The pain on his handsome face was almost too much for Speedwagon to bear, but he had to go through with it. Nodding his head - “If you insist.”
Jonathan leaned down only to be met with a quick peck on his cheek before Speedwagon began to move away. Having enough of this farce, Jonathan reached out and grabbed Speedwagon by the arm and pulled him back towards him, his free hand gently cupping Speedwagon’s cheek - “No. Not like that… like this.”
With that Jonathan leaned down to kiss Speedwagon square on the lips. In the next second Speedwagon felt his mouth being invaded by Jonathan’s eager tongue, coaxing a delicious moan from the blond’s throat. Tears flowed freely down Speedwagon’s face as his hands sought purchase on Jonathan’s broad shoulders, desperate to keep from falling. They kissed like that until they were breathless and then they kissed some more until Speedwagon could no longer stand.
Jonathan set Speedwagon down on the kitchen table as he kissed along the blond man’s jaw towards his ear where he whispered - “Tell me. Tell me now that you don’t love me.”
Speedwagon panted while tipping his head to the side - “I… I don’t love you…”
Jonathan kissed down Speedwagon’s now exposed neck - “You’re a liar.”
Speedwagon tried to desperately keep from moaning - “Yes…I am.”
Their hands were everywhere as they struggled to become even closer.
Jonathan delighted in leaving several marks on the most sensitive parts of Speedwagon's exposed skin - “Then why, dearest? Why try to push me away?”
Speedwagon would confess to any crime in the world regardless if he had even committed it if Jonathan had asked him at that point, but to answer this question felt so terribly difficult. So instead he just pulled the man into another searing kiss, but it was only delaying the inevitable. Jonathan asked him again as he slid his strong hands further down Speedwagon’s body causing the blond to cry out - “Because… !”
Jonathan pressed his fingers into Speedwagon’s lower back - “Because, is not an answer.”
Speedwagon sobbed. This was like the most deliciously awful torture he’d ever experienced - “Because I am petty and cruel!”
Jonathan kissed him gently - “You’re still lying… Please, dearest, tell me honestly so that I may understand.”
Speedwagon keened out a sorrowful moan and fresh tears rolled down his cheeks until Jonathan was forced to pull him up into a tight embrace for fear that Speedwagon might not ever stop crying. The blond swallowed and tried his best to put all of his thoughts and feelings into words - “Jonathan… I-... There is no one in this whole world who I have ever loved more than I love you. And those days of playing house and lovers were some of the best times I’ve ever had… but I knew that you’d one day settle down with someone who-... who wasn’t me… and… well… Erina is such a wonderful woman who deserves every bit of you…(softer) It would be selfish of me to take that from her… and I… I just don’t think I could stand seeing that love being given to someone who wasn’t me.”
Jonathan’s heart pounded hard in his chest. It ached terribly for the man in his arms who, while strong and brash in his own right, now seemed so small and vulnerable. Slowly Jonathan kissed away his tears whispering soft ‘I’m sorry’s and ‘I love you’s as he did. Eventually he found the words to speak more fully of his feelings and intentions - “My dearest Robert… I’m so, so sorry that I made you feel this way. That you thought I would stop loving you and would give that over to Erina instead… and while I’m not entirely sure how to explain it, the truth is that I love you both, equally! I want Erina to be my wife, sure, but I- I also want you to be my husband. To have and to hold and to stay with me for the rest of my days.”
Speedwagon thought for sure that his heart had stopped. He had never heard of such a thing and yet, he knew beyond a shadow of any doubt that Jonathan was telling him the absolute truth. - “I suppose if there ever was a person capable of loving two people equally, at the same time, then by god it would have to be you Jonathan…(with a small laugh) You’re definitely big enough for it.”
Jonathan blinked at the cheeky remark before his face broke out into a wide bright grin - “Does that mean you’ll do it? You’ll come stay with us? You’ll be my…my husband?!”
Speedwagon couldn’t help but smile at Jonathan’s excitement and his words and while his heart was feeling much lighter than it had he also couldn’t help but tease Jonathan just a little bit further - “I mean, that wasn’t much of a proposal… but if that’s all I’m getting I suppose I’ll say yes.”
Jonathan laughed heartily seeing that his dearest was in better spirits now that all the confusion had been cleared away - “Oh, you’ll be getting much much more, I assure you! I would just hate to be the cause of this table breaking into splinters.”
Before Speedwagon could comprehend the full meaning of Jonathan’s words, he was scooped up into the larger man’s arms and swiftly carried off into Speedwagon’s bedroom where Jonathan made him say ‘yes’ many times over until they were both exhausted and fell into a blissfully deep sleep.
The End