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Takami Keigo was fourteen years old when his best friend passed away. They had only known each other for a year, but that year felt like a lifetime with the memories they created together. Keigo had never had someone so close to him before, and the two of them had an unbreakable bond. Unfortunately, that bond was cut short with the unexpected news of Touya's suicide.
Keigo had been expecting Touya back after he went home for a few days. It wasn't out of the ordinary for Touya to go home for a few days, in fact, it even happened often. His father was the number two hero after all. He and his family had gala's and charity events to attend as expected of them from the public eye. Sometimes, Touya came back with new burns, but Keigo knew better than to press about them. If something was wrong, Touya would have told Keigo. He always did.
Keigo was told that Touya had taken his own life on Sekoto Peak. He wasn't sure where that was, but he was told it was a mountainous area by the Todoroki family home. The thought made Keigo shiver.
Touya was the last person Keigo had expected to commit suicide. Why did he do it? Did their promises of escaping the Commission together mean nothing? Was it selfish of Keigo to think about himself in a situation like this? But no matter where Keigo's mind wandered, none of it would change Touya's death. Not when he was in attendance at the funeral of the most important person in his life.
Keigo had never met the Todoroki family before the funeral, but he had heard a lot about them from late nights where he and Touya stayed up talking about whatever came to mind. Keigo wasn't sure if they knew him, but the way Touya's mom and little brother's and sister gave him not-so-subtle glances proved otherwise. Endeavour stood beside his family, expression stoic as always and he didn't give Keigo a second glance.
When Keigo's eyes met the framed photo of Touya that sat beside his casket, his breath caught in his throat and he felt the strong urge to cry but he knew he couldn't. It wasn't seemly for a hero in training to cry, so he grit his teeth for the rest of the service. The most important person in his life was burnt to a crisp by his own power and was locked away, laying lifeless in a casket right before Keigo’s eyes. Keigo wondered how much of Touya's body remained in the closed casket, and the thought made him want to throw up.
Keigo didn’t let the tears fall until he was back in his and Touya’s room at the Commission's living quarters.
—
Hawks was twenty-two when he became Japan’s number-two hero, one of the youngest to ever reach that spot, second only to Endeavour who beat Hawks by two years and snagged the number-two spot for himself when he was just twenty. Being young and powerful was anyone's dream, and Hawks was not the type to bullshit and say this wasn’t what he wanted in life. He was strong, a household name in Japan, rich, and had great people around him. His life was seemingly perfect. Sure, the way it all came to be could’ve been different, but he was already up there now, right?
He enjoyed his power and had no problem celebrating his successes. In fact, he relished in celebrating his success because it was his own hard work and a fuckton of trauma that got him up into the top ten. He was going to enjoy every moment of it because—as corny as it sounded—he put his blood, sweat, and tears into getting where he was.
But unfortunately for Hawks, his ascension on the Hero Billboard Chart fell on the absolute worst day possible. November 22nd. Touya’s death anniversary.
The Hero Billboard Charts worked like the stock market, the placement of heroes being updated live by their civilian rescues and threat containment. Randomly, at just past noon that day, Hawks got the call that he had moved up. That call was followed by other calls from everyone he knew, congratulating him on the ascent.
“Come on!” Rumi screeched through the phone. “You’re the number-two hero! That deserves at least a little celebration.”
Hawks closed his eyes and leaned back into his seat, resting his head on the top of his curved-back couch. He mumbled back to his best friend, barely finding the energy to hold his phone, “I’m really not feeling it, Rumi. Maybe another time, just not today. Not this week.”
He hadn’t talked to Rumi about Touya. He couldn’t bring himself to. He didn’t want to talk about Touya with anyone.
It was difficult talking about your feelings as someone who was meant to be strong all the time. Sure, he had those fabricated mental health posts and whatnot the Commission would put out for him, but actually thinking about talking about his dead best friend slash boyfriend wasn't even in the realm of possibility for Hawks.
But being his best friend, Rumi had noticed Hawks getting easily irritated during this time of year, but Hawks played it off as 'bird mutation stuff,' not wanting to get into the real reason.
Rumi sighed in defeat, “Fine. Actually, I’m getting paged for patrol right now, so I’ll talk to you later.”
Hawks heard shuffling on the other side of the phone, and Rumi spoke again, more softly this time, “Congratulations on number-two Hawks. I’m proud of you.”
“Are we having a moment right now?” Hawks laughed, trying to keep the mood light for his best friend.
Yeah, Hawks was being a bit of an asshole to everyone right now, but he felt it was more than valid. But this was his best friend, and she was congratulating him on his newest accolade, so he tried his best not to be a dick.
Rumi sighed, “Yeah, but I refuse to end a conversation between us on a sappy note, so please shove my congratulations up your ass before I take it back.”
Hawks had always loved the banter between Rumi and him. “I’ll try to figure out a way to do that. Thanks Rumi.”
“Bye, Hawks.”
Hawks hummed in response, and when he heard the beeping that notified him of the call ending, he pushed off of the couch, opting to be productive for the rest of the day instead of hiding away in his apartment.
Yeah, it was Touya’s day, but Hawks couldn't just sit around and do nothing all day. He, unfortunately, lived in the real world, where his missions took priority, and as of current, his mission was to unfortunately infiltrate the League of Villains.
So, he did exactly that, and tried his best to remain diligent.
When he arrived at their hideout, Hawks was freezing and tired. Although November in Japan didn’t typically have any snow, the cold was still bone-chilling, and Hawks was not built for the cold. Like, at all. He probably should have been migrating or something.
“Hey, pretty bird,” a sultry voice called out as Hawks shut the rickety door of the hideout behind him.
Dabi was sitting on one of two bar stools, gripping a glass of whiskey on the rocks as it sat on the countertop.
“Where is everyone?” Hawks asked, surveying the empty room. Usually, Toga and Twice were lounging on the couch, and Atsuhiro was behind the bar, but the hideout seemed relatively empty today.
“They're out," Dabi said, moving his body to face Hawks. "Don’t know when they’ll be back. Today's my day off so,” he shrugged, bringing the glass up to his mouth and taking a long sip.
Hawks made his way to Dabi, fully anticipating a drink. He needed it with the shit show that today would be if he didn't get at least a little tipsy. “Make me one of those, neat,” he said before plopping onto the stool next to Dabi.
Their stools were close, and Hawks thought that maybe their knees would touch if Dabi hadn't got up to fulfill Hawks' request.
Dabi reached for a fresh glass and the whiskey, pouring it with practised precision, “Demanding now, are we?”
Hawks thought Dabi was pretty. The way he so gracefully handled the large decanter made him think of a different life where Dabi could've been the cute bartender and Hawks the patron that was hitting on him.
Hawks put his elbows on the bar, putting his face into his hands and rubbing his eyes, not uttering a word in response.
Dabi didn't push any further and instead, pushed the drink towards Hawks.
Hawks, being the mess he was, downed it in one go and slid the glass back toward Dabi just as he was about to put the liquor back.
Dabi looked Hawks in the eyes and Hawks didn't break the contact, as much as he wanted to. The former sighed, sliding the decanter over to Hawks, “Let’s be real, that dinky glass isn’t gonna do shit for you. Whatever you’re going through.”
Hawks hummed in agreeance, popping the lid off of the decanter and taking a swig. “Anything new I need to know about?”
Dabi stayed quiet for a moment, watching Hawks as he downed the liquor. “We’re looking into recruiting another person. Shigaraki found some—” Dabi continued and Hawks couldn't find it in himself to tune into the conversation that he started.
As much as Hawks knew he should have been trying his hardest to gather information, he couldn't seem to focus on Dabi’s words. They were going in one ear and out the other. He attempted to read Dabi's lips, but he was self aware enough that he didn't want to look like a weirdo so he dropped that just as quickly as he started.
“—And she’s pretty strong. Went to some public hero school but was told she had a villainous quirk by not only students but teachers as well. She can make people's pain intensify tenfold or something.”
Hawks got that part, and he figured it was the most important so that was good. Dabi continued and Hawks slowly brought the decanter to his lips.
“Her name’s Hasegawa Keigo. She—”
Hawks’ hand stopped moving, the decanter just an inch shy of his lips. He gaped at Dabi.
Dabi eyed him in return, confusion evident in his gaze.
Hawks placed the decanter down carefully onto the bar. “What was—what was the name again?”
For some reason, Hawks had the random urge to throw up and there was absolutely no way that it was the alcohol.
“Her name..." Dabi repeated slowly, eyebrows furrowing into one another. "Is Hasegawa Keigo. Why?” he said, still looking into Hawks' soul with his intense blue eyes.
Hawks' body felt cold, but impossibly warm at the same time. He felt heat in his stomach, but it was the uninviting kind—the kind one feels when they get horrible news. He broke contact with Dabi's gaze to shake the feeling his body was succumbing to.
The name Keigo on Dabi’s tongue catapulted Hawks back to his younger self when Touya would utter that same name with such delight. They sounded awfully familiar, despite the fact that Dabi was a grown man and Touya was just a teenager.
November 22nd was always wretched and miserable, and Hawks considered taking it off the following year. He didn’t even have it in him to make fun of this Hasegawa Keigo for having a masculine given name.
Dabi stared at him, incredulous. “What did you think I said?”
Hawks didn't expect Dabi to pry. He began to feel the slightest buzz from the whiskey, as well as the bad decisions coming with it. He looked up into Dabi’s eyes again, his own becoming lidded with the influence of the alcohol. He had always been such a lightweight. Even edibles hit him in five minutes instead of the usual thirty. “Nothing. You just sounded like someone I knew for a second.”
Dabi smirked, relaxing into the conversation once again, “Oh yeah?" He inched a little closer like he wanted Hawks to let him in on some big secret without anybody else's ears getting ahold of it. "Who did I sound like? You can tell me, pretty bird.”
The space between them suddenly felt coffin tight, and although Hawks wouldn't mind it on any other day, it was a bit too suffocating so Hawks leaned back just a smidge and placed his face into his palm while his arm rested on the bar. Dabi didn't seem to pay it any mind. As much as Dabi was someone to be feared, Hawks still had the weird desire to confide in him—almost like a magnetic force.
Hawks hesitated, considering if spilling his guts to the enemy was a wise decision. It wasn't but, you only live once, right? “Someone from a long time ago. My first boyfriend.”
Hawks' eyes crinkled at the distant but fond memories of him and Touya. Keigo and Touya had never made their relationship official, but if making out in their shared dorm room at the Commission's living quarters late at night wasn’t boyfriend-boyfriend behaviour, then Hawks had no idea what the hell that was. Plus it’s wasn't like Dabi was gonna fact check him.
Dabi smirked, showing more interest now that Hawks had actually divulged. “Your first boyfriend? How many have you had after him?”
They had clearly forgotten all about the conversation taking place prior and instead switched gears into whatever this was.
Hawks frowned a bit. He never considered it before, but Touya's death closed Hawks' mind off to dating in a way that he felt was irreversible. He didn't ever consider having one person by his side forever, unless that person was Touya.
Hawks looked up, suddenly entranced by Dabi’s eyes. Either it was the alcohol or Dabi’s hypnotic stare, but Hawks felt compelled to answer each and every one of Dabi’s questions.
Hawks hiccuped, “Correction: he was my first and only boyfriend.”
Dabi squinted, “So girlfriends then? How many have you had?”
Hawks leaned back into Dabi's space, a smile overtaking his lips, “I’m very gay, Dabs.”
Suddenly, Hawks felt a bit lighter. He wasn't sure what exactly it was, but he relished in it.
Dabi laughed, “Well you don’t strike me as virginal. I was just curious.”
“I’m not like celibate or whatever,” Hawks said right before he took another swig from the decanter. “If that’s what you’re asking.”
Dabi stared into Hawks’ eyes, somehow more intensely than before. His expression was unreadable—stoic even. “Good to know.”
Hawks felt a knot in his stomach. He also felt his implacably bad decisions slowly creeping their way up to the surface, and decided it was for the best if he headed out before Dabi got too much out of him. It wouldn’t be wise to funnel information, personal information about himself that nobody knew into Dabi’s ears.
“Well, I think it’s best if I go," Hawks said, cutting the conversation short. "I have something urgent I need to do and it can't really wait.”
Dabi’s nodded, making no fuss to object. “Suit yourself.”
—
Hawks sluggishly made his way to the Todoroki residence, which was well endowed and surrounded by trees. From an outsider's perspective, one would think that the people who occupied the property lived the most perfect lives, but Hawks was one of the few that knew that was far from true.
When he got to there, it was about two hours past mid day, so it wasn't like he had been day drinking per se but he still didn't want to run into any of the Todoroki's and have them smell it on him. He was the number two hero after all, second only to the Todoroki family head. Hawks had to look and act presentable at all times.
The property was grand enough that the Todoroki's expanded the residence to create a private wing as Touya's memorial spot. Hawks made a beeline for the large front gate, hoping and praying that he didn't walk into Touya's room and Endeavour, Fuyumi, Natsuo, or Shouto were already in there.
He passed by the peak that Touya had died on while making his way to the house. Hawks always told himself that the next time he came to visit Touya's altar he would stop by at Sekoto Peak, but he never did.
Endeavour had permitted Hawks to stop by at the house whenever there were any work related issues since they oftentimes worked closely together, so the security greeted him politely.
They scanned him with a machine that told them it was really Hawks who was present and not someone cloning themselves as him using a quirk, and then nodded him in.
Hawks walked right by the main entrance and followed the footpath that led to the wing that housed Touya's altar. The room was open to close friends and family, so Hawks knew nobody would have an issue with him being there, but he still didn't want to see anyone.
Endeavour probably didn't expect his dead teenage sons high school boyfriend to end up in the spot right behind him, but even still Endeavour never mentioned Touya to Hawks. Not even once, so it would be beyond awkward to run into him at the altar.
Hawks carefully treaded into the bright and spacious room and an exhale made its way out of from deep within his body at the sight of the room being unoccupied. He looked at the picture of Touya, his youthful face exactly how Hawks had remembered it, a serious expression on his face. It distinctly reminded Hawks of a passport photo—a photo in which one was told explicitly not to smile and keep a neutral expression. He felt himself sober up a little at the sight.
He wondered what Touya would look like now that he would be twenty two and all legs like Endeavour. He probably wouldn't have the same build though. Touya was always lanky, and it was his younger brother Natsuo who's build closely mirrored Endeavours—much to Natsuo's chagrin. Hawks would do a lot of things to have one chance to meet an older version of the Touya he once knew. He would surely be handsome, Hawks had no doubt.
The Touya in the picture looked back at Hawks and despite seeing it so many times throughout the years, it still managed to send a chill down every nerve in Hawks' wings. The boy's fiery red hair and turquoise blue eyes were ones that Hawks thought he could never forget but as more time passed, the more those eyes and that hair faded into a distant memory against his will.
There was an unimaginable gap in trying to conjure up an image of someone from memory versus it being right in front of you. It was strange. Hawks could sometimes barely remember Touya’s voice, but other days it was all he could hear. Grief worked in very strange ways.
Hawks took a seat on the floor in front of the altar, smiling at the flowers and letters surrounding Touya’s picture. He found humour in the fact that if Touya were here, he would call flowers a sappy way to tell someone you loved them.
“Hi, Touya!" Hawks said aloud, thinking that was a good starting point. It had been a while since he came back here.
"I’m sorry I haven’t come to see you in a while. I’ve just been really busy with work because—oh guess what! I’m the number two hero now!" Hawks said cheerfully.
He paused a little, considering how Touya would feel about that. Hawks and Touya were always on par with one another, so where would Touya be right now? Perhaps he would've dethroned Endeavour by now and been the number one.
Hawks continued, "I'm right behind your old man now."
Is that something that Touya would want to hear? That Endeavour was the number one now? Touya had died long before All Might had retired, which meant that Endeavour was still stuck in limbo at number two.
Hawks whispered, "I'll beat him you know. Maybe even one day soon."
It was kind of therapeutic talking to Touya. Even though Touya wasn't actually responding, Hawks could imagine his stupid quips like he really was there to reply.
"You better beat his ass, Kei."
"Hey," Hawks said, shuffling uncomfortably. "I don’t think I told you this, but I met someone that I like."
Hawks didn't have a real therapist, so he figured might as well utilize Touya if he could.
"But um—let's just say it won’t ever work out because he’s kinda sorta a villain." He paused, because admitting that out loud sounded absolutely manic. If anyone heard, they would think Hawks had lost his mind. "I know you would disapprove but I'm weirdly drawn to him?" Hawks said. He didn't even know what exactly to make of it himself. He hadn't confronted his feelings about Dabi yet.
Hawks was attracted to him and would probably let him hit if he were being honest but—a villain? And what exactly was it about Dabi that Hawks was so drawn to? Maybe all of those stapes had a certain magnetism... it wasn't completely out of the question since birds were attracted to shiny things.
Hawks paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts before proceeding. "You know what it is actually—he reminds me of you a bit... Like, you two have the same snarky personality."
Hawks was slapped in the face with the realization that it was probably a little weird to be drawn to a highly wanted villain because he saw his dead ex in him. Maybe he did need therapy. "Enough about Dabi. That's his name by the way," Hawks said, trailing off again on a dumb tangent about Dabi. "Cremation. It's kinda edgy, right? You'd definitely like it."
"Anyway, enough about him for real now," Hawks said. He paused briefly, collecting his thoughts.
"One day I'll see you again," Hawks said. "And when I do, I hope we can catch up for real. I don't know when it will be, but I'll be waiting for that day." He sat for a little while longer, soaking in the sunlight pouring into the room before he got up, dusted his pants off and wandered out of the building before a final glance at Touya's altar, surrounded by items of love.
Hawks felt lighter.
—
Alongside hero training, each of the Commission's prospects was also enrolled in day school to keep up with their educational needs and ensure that they were well-educated and bloomed into model adults. The only difference between the Commission's school and other public hero schools was that the students at the Commission would cram three years of high school into one. That way, they could complete their schooling during their first year, and focus entirely on enhancing their quirk and fighting styles in the second and third years.
Keigo sat at the edge of his bed, while Touya stood at his desk, putting his school things back into his backpack.
"How did I get such a bad grade," Keigo whined, rubbing his hands with his face.
Keigo hadn't been doing well in math, and he even managed to get an almost-failing grade on one of their really important math tests which was far from what was expected. The teacher had given Keigo a warning that if his performance didn't start to pick up in class, they would have to get the school's dean involved which wouldn't prove to be good for Keigo.
"It's okay," Touya said, still jam-packing his school bag with binders, textbooks, and whatnot. "You'll do better next time. We'll study harder."
"I just feel so dumb," Keigo said, staring at his feet with his forearms resting on his thighs.
Touya paused, then turned around to look at Keigo. He stopped what he was doing and approached Keigo, sighing while he did. "You're not dumb, Kei,” he said before crouching down in front of Keigo and looking up at him.
Keigo made no move to look back down at Touya or reply, so Touya grabbed Keigo's hands in his and kissed his knuckles. "I know I'm not good with my words," Touya said, "But I don't like it when you call yourself dumb, because you're not. And I'll tell you that forever."
“Forever is a long time, Touya.”
Even at their young ages, they were pretty wise. Their lives could take them in different directions altogether, and even if they wanted to explore life together as adults, it wasn't up to them. It was up to the Commission and what the Commission wanted for them.
“Forever,” Touya repeated.
In that moment, Keigo believed Touya’s words and let them engulf him like a warm blanket. It wasn’t until later that year when Keigo realized that the blanket's warm embrace had grown cold.
—
A few months had gone by since Hawks last visited Touya’s altar and since it was January 18th, Hawks had to go. He made a promise to himself that he would.
Hawks had missed Touya’s birthday the year of his debut because he got caught up in a villain pursuit, and ever since that day he decided that he would take that day off every year—no questions asked. The day brought back fond memories of the two during their youth, and Hawks liked when the memories would wash over him.
He didn’t expect this year to be any different. It was Touya’s birthday, and he was going to give him a red velvet cupcake like they did for each other when they were fourteen.
“Happy birthday, Touya!” Hawks said as he took a seat across Touya’s altar, placing the red velvet cupcake down in front of him. He sparked a lighter, hovering the flame above the candle. “Bet if you were here, you’d just use your flames but I wasn’t blessed with such a functional quirk. Also, I brought you a little something!”
Hawks smiled as he grabbed the flower from behind him. Touya would cackle in Hawks' face.
It was a single red rose and Hawks placed it down right in front of Touya’s picture, careful to be mindful of everyone else's letters and such. “Okay, hear me out. I know back then, you thought flowers were cheesy or whatever but it’s just one, not a whole bouquet so cope, okay? And it matches your hair!"
Hawks knew that Touya wasn't particularly fond of his hair colour since it made him look more like Endeavour, but Hawks really did think it was a beautiful colour.
He stayed quiet for a bit, not sure what else to say. His life had been pretty much the same since he last visited. He was still working on infiltrating the League, still flirting with Dabi, and still getting shit on by Rumi for his life choices. His life was pretty bleak for a top ranking hero.
He bid Touya a farewell before he blew out the open flame in front of him to avoid it leaking candle wax all over the cupcake. Hawks was about to leave before he turned back around and eyed the delicious looking cupcake on the ground.
"You know what," Hawks huffed. "I'm tired of this diet. I'm eating half. Hope that's cool T."
—
What Hawks wasn’t expecting at twelve in the morning was an intruder in his penthouse. Not just any intruder, but an asshole A-rank villain who couldn't seem to leave Hawks alone long enough for him to breathe.
“Birdie! I brought food!” Dabi yelled as he switched on the light to Hawks’ bedroom.
Hawks shielded his eyes from the imposing light after they’d adjusted to the dark, squirming under the duvet to get up from his laying position. His voice was hoarse and strained after hours of not speaking, “Dabi, what the hell?” Hawks said, rubbing his eyes in attempt to clear his bleary eyesight.
“My, my. What a pretty voice,” Dabi retorted, plopping the brown takeout bag in a corner at the foot of Hawks’ bed. He pulled the covers off of Hawks, who was comfortably sleeping half-naked.
“My god, put on some clothes would you?” Dabi said, looking at Hawks with a mocking expression. Of course if anyone had the audacity to tell someone what to do in their own home, it would be Dabi. “Or don’t, I don’t mind,” he added.
Hawks scoffed, rolling his eyes and slipping on some sweatpants, missing the leg holes a few times courtesy of his blurred vision. He opted to stay shirtless. Comfortably getting his wings into shirts was annoying and time consuming, so he would rather not if he didn’t have to. “You can’t just keep breaking into my apartment like, what if I’m with someone?”
Dabi cackled, “Come on Hawks, when was the last time you got laid?”
Hawks considered the other’s inquiry gingerly, and his lack of response proved Dabi’s point. Hawks couldn’t remember the last time he had slept with someone.
He walked by Dabi, picking up the takeout bag and walking it over to the kitchen, content with hearing Dabi’s footsteps behind him.
Hawks switched on all of the kitchen lights, and placed the takeout bag on the island, pulling the food out and placing it on the countertop. “So you got me food, huh? Is this like a date or something,” He said, eyeing Dabi in a teasing way.
Dabi smirked in response, "It's whatever you want it to be," he said, grabbing cutlery from Hawks’ drawer in favour of the plastic cutlery provided. He placed it next to the food and watched as Hawks opened both containers.
“Fuck yes,” Hawks muttered.
Dabi had gotten Hawks his favourite—Italian. His favourite pasta was a ravioli made from seven different cheeses, and that was exactly what Dabi had got him. Dabi smiled and Hawks caught him raking his eyes up and down Hawks' body.
Hawks broke Dabi out of his trance by sliding one of the containers to the other side of the island. He ordered Dabi to sit across from him, and Dabi complied without protest. Now that Dabi was loading up his fork with ravioli, it made Hawks think about how he had rarely ever seen Dabi eat, and it was interesting to just watch him. The other was so skinny, so Hawks figured that Dabi ate only one meal a day and that the one meal happened to be when Hawks wasn’t around.
The large light fixture above the island illuminated Dabi's hair in a way that Hawks had never seen before. He noticed garnet roots protruding from Dabi’s head. Huh. Hawks didn’t know that Dabi had red hair.
“Your roots are showing,” he said, gaining the attention of Dabi.
Dabi reached for his phone and used the camera app as a mirror to see his hair. “Shit,” he mumbled. “Just dyed it a month ago, roots shouldn’t be showing so soon.”
Hawks hummed, staring into Dabi’s eyes, “I thought your hair was natural.”
Hawks paused at the realization: Dabi’s hair was red. Touya’s hair was red. Dabi’s eyes were blue. Touya’s eyes were the same blue. Dabi’s fire was blue. Touya’s fire was blue.
What the hell? That was a weird coincidence, Hawks considered. But was it really a coincidence? It had to be. Hawks went to Touya’s funeral after all. Plus, a lot of people had mutant bird quirks, so a lot of people probably had fire quirks, like the Todoroki family. And doppelgängers existed right? Dabi didn’t look too much like Touya but quirk doppelgängers existed, right? There was probably some genetic quirk pool that determined your quirk or something else science-y that Hawks didn’t understand.
He concluded that it was just a silly coincidence.
“Birdie, you good,?” he heard Dabi say after he finished a bite of his food.
Hawks shook out of his thoughts and nodded in affirmation. He was absolutely, positively perfect. Nothing was wrong at all.
The conversation flowed easily from then on. They discussed villain things and whatnot, the occasional flirting taking over the conversation—nothing out of the ordinary. Still, Hawks continued to feel uneasy, and despite the fact that he had concluded that Dabi and Touya being so similar was just a coincidence, he couldn't help but go back to the idea that he had just uncovered something.
When the conversation got relatively dry, Dabi got up from his seat and walked around the kitchen island and started digging around in Hawks’ cabinets to fetch himself a glass.
Hawks smiled teasingly, “You might as well live here with the way you walk around like it’s your house.”
Dabi rolled his eyes, but a small smile overtook his face. “You want something to drink?”
Hawks hummed, “Sure. You pick for me though.”
Hawks took a few giant bites of his ravioli while Dabi turned around and pulled out another glass from the cabinet. He carried them both over in one hand to the centre island where Hawks stood and they clinked together as he sat them on the tabletop.
Hawks stared blatantly as Dabi's figure walked over to the alcohol. This was kind of domestic, no?
Dabi lifted a hand, hovering it over the many different bottles seemingly surprised by the variety. His back was still facing Hawks, but Hawks saw him bring a thoughtful hand to his chin, before speaking into the liquor. He hummed, "What does Keigo want to drink?"
Hawks froze. That name. Hawks could count the people who knew that name on one hand.
“What did you say?” Hawks managed to croak out. He looked at Dabi, but couldn't find the courage to look him in the eyes. Those eyes.
Dabi seemed to notice his fuck up and tried to play it off like Hawks was hearing things. But Hawks knew it was bullshit. His mind reeled.
He finally looked up at Dabi, who had an expression akin to regret on his face. His jaw was clenched, but the slight furrow in his brow and the softness in his eyes displayed complete and utter regret.
Hawks was stuck in his spot next to the island. He examined Dabi from afar, eyes flicking up to the red hair peeking through black box-dyed hair. Paired with the turquoise eyes, there was no mistaking it. It was undeniable and it was right in front of Hawks the entire fucking time. How long had it been since he was assigned to this mission?
His blue eyes, just like Endeavour's. His red hair, just like Endeavour's. His hatred for Endeavour, palpable in the way he grew hot whenever the number one hero's name was mentioned.
Hawks’ voice cracked and his tears hung just barely onto his eyelashes, “Touya?”
Dabi turned his body completely to face Hawks, reaching out a hand which made Hawks flinch. Dabi pulled it back without saying anything, sorrow filling his features. He stepped forward to test the waters, and Hawks inched back as far as he could without running into a wall. Of course it wasn’t a fucking coincidence. Only a dumbass would make an excuse like that.
Hawks spoke slow and controlled, emphasizing his anger, alcohol forgotten, “Get the fuck out.”
He made a beeline to his room, and Touya ran after him, grabbing him by the shoulders. Hawks’ feathers sharpened threateningly, and Touya let go, grabbing Hawks’ hand instead.
The softness and desperation he had only ever seen and heard from Touya, not Dabi overtook Touya's tone. Please Kei, let’s talk about this.”
“Don’t call me that. I meant what I said. Get the fuck out.”
Touya didn't let go, and he pulled Hawks toward him by the wrist, turning him and making it so that they were facing each other. Tears stained Hawks’ cheeks but he didn't pull away from Touya. His wings sagged to the floor as he succumbed to the lack of energy to fight.
Touya ran his fingers under Hawks’ eyes, clearing the tears away.
Wait a minute, why was Hawks letting Touya comfort him? It had been eight years and Touya couldn’t reach out? What happened to being there for each other forever? Maybe all of the promises they made as kids were bullshit. For eight years, Hawks had mourned someone who wasn’t even dead—someone that didn’t give a fuck about him.
Hawks pulled away from Touya, shoving him back. “You’re supposed to be dead!” He continued, still pushing Touya back, and Touya just took it. “I went to your fucking funeral,” he said, anger and rage seeping into his voice. "You were alive the whole time and didn't think to reach out?"
Touya made no move to talk, so Hawks continued until Touya's back was against a wall. He kept Touya pinned there. “And now what? You’re a villain? This is what you decided to do with your life?” Hawks exclaimed.
Touya cupped Hawks’ face, and Hawks flinched at the soft touch, “I wanted to protect you,” he whispered, blue eyes boring into yellow.
“You wanted to protect me?” Hawks scoffed. "I'm the number two hero. I don't need protection," Hawks said. He had never in his life gotten so cocky about his position and title, but what did Touya think? That this would all make it okay—the fact that he wanted to 'protect' Hawks? "Tell me Touya," Hawks said, creeping as much distaste into Touya's name as possible. "Why did you want to protect me?"
Touya paused. His hands were still resting softly against Hawks' cheeks, and he began to stroke Hawks' face softly. "Because I love you."
Hawks choked on his inhales, letting out a strangled sob, face contorting into one of sadness and hurt. Touya loved Hawks, all these years later. Hawks grabbed Touya's wrist, feeling for his pulse point. His pupils were blown wide, black taking over blue almost entirely. Hawks' anger dissipated almost immediately.
"You love me," Hawks choked out. He wasn't sure if he meant it as a question or statement, but Touya seemed to understand what he meant.
"I've loved you since we were kids," Touya said, once again wiping the tears from Hawks' eyes.
Hawks pulled away from Touya’s hands’ embrace, “I went to your funeral, how the fuck are you still here?”
Touya stared down at Hawks apologetically, “I’ll explain everything. Just—come sit with me?” Touya asked as he walked to Hawks’ living room.
Touya sat at one end of the curved couch, and Hawks sat at the other, keeping as much distance between himself and Touya.
He didn’t know how to feel, how to react, what to do. So he just let Touya explain.
Touya told him everything. How he did lose control of his quirk on Sekoto Peak but didn’t hurt himself bad enough to die. How he knew he would never make it through the Commission’s training because he couldn’t use his quirk without burning himself. How he created a plan to fake his own death and get away from it all for good. How his casket was empty because his body was never recovered. How he turned to villainy to get back at his father. How he missed his mom and siblings with all of his heart. How he missed how he and Hawks were when they were younger, and how his heart longed for all of that back every time he was around Hawks. How he knew Hawks was a double agent but didn’t say anything to the other members of the League because he knew they would likely hurt him.
Halfway through, Hawks decided that he did need that drink after all, so he went to grab some bourbon and those abandoned glasses and they talked until close to three-thirty in the morning. At some point, Hawks had a blanket around himself and he and Touya found themselves inching closer to one another.
When Touya finished explaining everything, Hawks understood. He still wasn't ready to forgive Touya for abandoning him and then keeping him in the dark for years, but this was still something. Closure.
“So now what?” Hawks said, taking another swig of his bourbon.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you know I’m a double agent. You gonna kick my ass or what?”
Touya laughed, and Hawks loved the sound. “If I wanted to kick your ass I would’ve done it by now."
Hawks smiled weakly back at him. “But seriously, where does this leave us?”
Touya embraced Hawks' hands in his. "I think we want the same thing," Touya said, eyes finding Hawks' who nodded in agreement.
"But it'll take time," Hawks added so Touya wouldn't have to.
Touya held Hawks' hands in his own tighter and maneuvered their conjoined hands together so that he could pepper his lips over Hawks' knuckles. Hawks smiled. He felt fourteen again in their dorm at the Commission.
Hawks wouldn't let Touya disappear again. Not if he could stop it.