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The seats were way more comfortable than Hange had thought.
With fingers still a little sticky from chocolate, she turned her ticket over to check the seat number again. Seat 29, row 13 was far back, which is why Hange started rummaging for a cloth for her glasses (they were way too dirty for her to be able to see the stage).
Her current project at the lab was not going as smoothly as she had imagined, and she wanted to treat tonight as a little break from the current tense situation at work. By "break" she would normally have meant a trip to the botanical garden with Moblit or even a movie night with Nanaba, but the tickets were given to her by a colleague who spontaneously had to attend another appointment, which is why she was here in the first place—not that she would complain, of course.
The red seat cushion felt cold under her exposed legs, and she frowned slightly as she forced her freshly polished glasses back on the bridge of her nose. Now that she was here, she would take full advantage of it, even though Hange had to admit that she had not even read through the play description on the Internet, let alone the program booklet, meaning that she was completely uninformed on what this play was even about.
One thing she was sure about were the guys who had just sat down on the two still-vacant seats in front of her. She had seen them before, at the entrance, twenty minutes earlier. Blonde-Greek God-bushy-eyebrows guy and attractive grumpy-shortie.
She watched the two men who had already caught her eye before furtively, remembering something she witnessed about ten minutes ago.
While she had been waiting in front of the theater in front of the entrance, they stood about three meters in front of her in the queue and engaged in a forceful argument with a little girl and her hysterical mother—apparently, the girl had pet the dog of the black-haired man without permission and tried to play with him.
Seemingly not a big problem, sure, it was impolite, but she was a child after all.
It turned out to be a more severe issue than Hange initially thought. While the smaller of the two guys brought his dog closer to his body and looked at the ground with an unreadable expression (he seemed almost tense), his companion, a tall, well-built man in his early forties, explained that no one is allowed to touch a service dog (just if you get permission!), whether adult or child.
His voice sounded strained, although he was visibly trying to remain calm and civilized.
The woman's eyes widened, and she took her child by the hand, practically dragging her away from the dog and the men, and stammered out, "I'm sorry—really, I hadn't—I hadn't seen the vest."
Hange leaned slightly forward and had to shake her head. There it was neon yellow and easy to read: "Service dog—Do not pet." The writing generous and in block letters. From her previous point of view, she had been unable to catch a glimpse of the dog's vest, but now, seeing it clearly in front of her, she could not imagine how the woman could not have noticed this detail.
She had been curious about the both of them before, and her curiosity only grew stronger back in her theater seat as she watched them speaking to each other in a hushed tone of voice, the shorter one nudging his friend with his elbow and laughing.
How long had they known each other to become so familiar with each other?
Hange wondered what had been so funny and felt strangely jealous.
At the same time, she scolded herself for thinking that—she didn't even know the two of them—and felt like a creep who fantasized too much, or worse, like a crazy stalker.But maybe she was just glad and happy for them, that they hadn't let the little incident before spoil their evening.The light slowly went out and Hange slid around in her seat, trying to find the perfect position.
She was looking forward to a relaxed evening and started sipping her Coke.After about 20 minutes, Hange realized she wasn't going to be the next theatre fanatic, but she still had to laugh out loud a few times, which made the blonde in front of her turn around.
He smiled amusedly and openly at her, and Hange felt herself blush. She quickly looked away, of course not without letting her cola drip a little on herself - why did she have to be that clumsy?
She rolled her eyes and tried to focus again on the three actors on stage, one of whom was dying dramatically. She wasn't paying attention for ten seconds, and one of them died?! Damn it, Hange, you're missing the whole plot just because you're staring at those two guys too much.
They were talking to each other in hushed tones now. Suddenly, Hange thought, what if they're together? Together, as in together as a couple? - Well, if that's the case, there's trouble in paradise just now. They seemed to argue.
"Erwin, you have nothing left to drink, and if you want some, go out and get some; I'll be fine," the black-haired man said.
"It's okay, I'm not that thirsty, Levi, it was a big step to come here, you don't have to provok..- look, I'll stay with you and just get me something on the way home," the other replied.
He spoke softly; it was meant nicely, Hange realized, but unfortunately it was the wrong thing to say. There were shadows on the face of the short one, Levi, as he replied sharply, "I'm not completely useless, broken, or anything, Erwin, if that's what you think. I'm perfectly capable of sitting in this seat for 5 minutes without you as my great protector, thank you very much. I think I'm fine here.”
Hange grimaced; the conversation was now clearly going in the wrong direction, and it was clear that Erwin had been offended by the words, although he had not been particularly empathetic himself, Hange thought.
"You know very well that I didn't mean it that way. Are you sure? It's really okay with me." Erwin tried again, with a sideways glance at Levi, who apparently didn't feel addressed. He ignored him, and a short, uncomfortable silence fell.
Hange was startled to realize that she had been watching them for some time now and was no longer following the play at all. She would have to google a summary later to at least give the impression that she had been paying attention to the play.
In the meantime, Erwin pushed himself off the chair a little harder than necessary and gave Levi another uncertain look before leaving the room with a slight shrug.
The small beam of light that came from the outside for the brief moment, illuminated Levi’s face from the side and Hange could have sworn that she could see something like uncertainty in his eyes.
Hange watched him now. He seemed calm, not upset or anything. Hange shook herself now at the stupid thought; she behaved exactly as Levi did not want, as he had said before: He obviously owned a PTSD dog and had made some bad experiences in the past, but that didn’t mean he had to have someone by his side all the time, did it?
Although that would be nothing bad, Hange found. Needing help or support is not something that makes you a weak person.
That was something Levi needed to hear, she thought, and the next moment she wondered why she was so concerned about the lives of two guys she hadn’t even spoken to. On the other side, she felt strangely connected to them, Erwin and Levi.
And now that Erwin was gone, she felt somehow responsible for Levi's well-being.
He was stroking his dog's head when Hange looked at him again. The dog had been lying under Levi's chair the whole time, calm and very well-behaved. He had to be, Hange remembered, he was here to work, to support Levi.He seemed fine, though - why wouldn't he be, Hange? It's not like he was about to collapse on the floor or anything.
Like he said, he's handling it well.
The play dragged on forever. She didn't really have a good sense of time, but she guessed that Erwin had been gone for about four to five minutes. She was already starting to drift with her thoughts, thinking about the delicious pumpkin curry she had been meaning to cook for a while and -.
BOOM! She startled. An incredibly loud noise made her sit up in her seat. What the hell was that? She looked around frantically, only to smile at herself seconds later.
She had completely missed the rearrangement of the stage, which now featured elaborate wooden rain clouds and the lead actor sheltering under a newspaper from the sudden appearance of fake Rain.
Calming down, she sat down comfortably again. At least she was awake now. But the surprise storm didn't seem to have the same effect on everyone: While the women next to Hange were amused by her fright, her eyes fell on Levi in front of her.
Due to her distraction, she hadn't been able to look at him, however, she realized that he must have been very startled - even now, he didn't seem to be completely calm.
He was moving steadily in his seat, and Hange saw some people giving him looks.
His dog pranced around him, and he muttered something under his breath. Levi kneaded his hands and Hange could feel the tension radiating from him. Hange didn't know how to help. Obviously the loud noise had triggered him and now - should she go forward to him? Should she leave him alone? Hell, he didn't even know her-
But then she was spared all these thoughts as Levi suddenly jumped up and headed purposefully for the exit, the same one Erwin had left about six minutes ago.
His dog's leash tightened, the animal's body tight against his legs. He walked past her, she saw his face and just knew she had to follow him. He was so pale you could see it even under the dim lights in the theater.
Hange pushed herself out of her seat and followed him. The bright light outside blinded her eyes, and she had to stop briefly to rub her eyes. Levi was already literally running through the narrow aisles.He was fast, so fast that she lost sight of him. She stood in the carpeted hallway, out of breath and without a plan.Suddenly, she heard rapid breathing behind one of the two doors to the toilet. Sure, that's where he had to be- She was about to yank the door open, then stopped herself, her arm still outstretched.
What was she doing here anyway? Where was Erwin?
She had to find the other man, yes, exactly. She should get Erwin, surely, he would be able to help Levi. Not only that, but she felt bad for a moment as she walked past the door, from which came a slight dog yelp, but she didn't know how the man would react if she found him in such a situation. She herself would be uncomfortable, she thought.Although, she would like for someone to look after her.
Anyway, now all her thoughts were on Erwin and getting him back to Levi as quickly as possible. She hoped that the taller man wouldn't worry and blame himself later, after all, it hadn't been his fault. Just as it hadn't been Levi's.Her shoes sounded loudly in the deserted corridor, and she now headed purposefully for the small snack bar she had already passed on the way to the auditorium.
But when she arrived, there was no Erwin to be seen, only an old couple getting their grandson another cup of Sprite. They looked at her as if she was crazy, slightly sweaty and with a wild look in her eyes. Surely this couldn't be true! Her heart raced in her chest. Hange turned on the spot and ran back again.
Okay, she could do this! -She gathered all her courage and pushed down the handle of the men's room. The room was green and pleasantly warm. Apart from all the urinals, there was a single lockable cubicle further back in the room, diagonally next to the two sinks.
"Hey, I'm- I'm Hange," she said into the seemingly empty room. There was no reply. She heard the panting of his dog and she heard his despairing breaths. Was he seriously ignoring her? For fuck's sake, she could even make out his black shoes under the toilet door. She tried another way.
"What's your dog's name? He's cute, I've seen him before when we were queuing outside. It's an American Staffordshire Terrier, isn't it?" Hange listened for an answer, but all she could hear again was the sounds of the dog and of him.
She had no experience with PTSD dogs. She had a friend - well, acquaintance? At university, who had a diabetic alert dog, but it didn't really compare.
And above all, she had no experience with PTSD.
"M-Maria."
Surprised, Hange drew in her breath. Somehow she had not expected him to actually answer.
"Oh, so she's a girl. You're such a good girl!" she said now directed at Maria and the dog's tail wagged slightly when she heard the compliment.
Hange sat back and now leaned against the cool tile wall. She could still hear Levi's gasps for breath, but they didn't sound quite as bad now as they had at first. They were still faster than normal, but not so bad that Hange was worried he would soon pass out like she had before.
With the door between them, she couldn't see him, but maybe that was exactly what he wanted and needed. He came across as a rather reserved and proud person anyway, and maybe he was ashamed of his "breakdown" - Hange could understand that, but still she had the feeling to let him know that he had no reason for that.
"It's okay, you know? I heard what you said to your boyfriend or boyfriend earlier - I'm sitting behind you two - and there's no shame or anything. You haven't lost anything; you don't have to prove anything to anyone."
There was a moment so quiet you could have heard a pin drop, and then Levi coughed, though it was more like a sob.Hange's heart ached, and she wondered how much you could feel for someone you didn't really know.It was obvious that he felt bad and ashamed of what had happened, and Hange really wished she could help him.
She remembered a technique she had seen on the internet where you could stabilize the breathing rate of the other person.
"Okay, it's all right. Let's try something. Tell me five things you can see right now.His voice sounded raspy and slightly shaky as he replied, "My hands.Maria.The ceiling lamp, The tiles..."
He hesitated for a moment and then said dryly, "Toilet paper."
Hange had to laugh slightly in response. That worked really well, Levi's breathing seemed to stabilize.
"Levi? Levi? Are you in here?"
"Erwin?" croaked Levi, and suddenly his voice sounded tearful again.
Erwin opened the door and stared down at Hange, who was still sitting on the floor in front of the door.
She must have looked really strange. Hange patted her jeans and stood up straight: "I saw him run out, I tried to look for you, but you weren't at the snack bar and-sorry, I ramble too much. I'm Hange."
"It's okay, don't worry. Thanks, thanks, I- I should have been there." Erwin ran a hand through his hair. "Levi, can you come out? We can go home, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have planned this today." He wrung his hands and Hange saw that he was very worried about the other man.
The door burst open, and Hange and Erwin looked straight down at Levi, who was sitting on the floor in front of the toilet. Maria had both paws on his thighs, and he had one hand next to her ear.
The other hand was next to his mouth and Hange could see the torn nail skin, which was already starting to bleed. On several fingers. Only now could she notice that his hands were shaking.He must have been tearing at them, and Hange shook herself as she thought of the pain.
"Stop it already, Erwin. I'm the one who needs to apologise, not you."
Erwin was about to reply indignantly when Levi started talking again:
"It was all right, I swear, but- but there was this fucking noise -thunder- thunder, Erwin, and all of a sudden, all of a sudden... I didn't know where I was anymore, I thought, I thought..."
Erwin almost rushed into the narrow cubicle and sat down on the closed toilet to hug Levi from behind.Hange stared at the two of them and took in the familiar scene: "I'm sorry, Levi. That shouldn't have happened, you couldn't have known. You did so well."
Addressing her, Erwin said, "Thank you, Han-" He blinked at her again.
"Hange," she reminded him.
"Thank you so much, Hange. I got an important call earlier, and I stepped out for a moment, there is no reception here. " He said into the room and then to Hange, "I'm a lawyer, and sometimes I just have to answer the phone but Levi... that shouldn’t have happened, I’m really sorry that I wasn’t there.”
It’s okay, really." Levi smiled, and his red eyes seemed to sparkle again.
"Besides, I had Maria...and also Hange." He blushed and looked at the floor before he muttered, "Thank you for following me."
Hange handed him his hand and pulled him up from the ground. She was glad that he felt well again. Besides, Hange was proud that she had been able to help him.
She handed him his hand and pulled him up from the ground. She was glad that he felt well again. Besides, Hange was proud that she had been able to help him.
"Really, no problem, I’m really happy that it’s okay now."
That was the truth, and yet hundreds of questions shot through her head: How did Levi and Erwin know each other? Since when did Levi have his dog? And why thunder?
Hange wanted to know so much about them, and apparently, she was not the only one:
Levi and Erwin seemed to communicate only with their eyes. They shared themselves some intense glances, and Hange wondered what they meant until someone spoke up.
"Uhm- I think the play is over now, but I know this good sushi restaurant, just to the left," said Erwin. Hange thought she could hear a slightly nervous undertone.
Levi nodded and glanced at Hange: "Only if you want, of course. We - I- have taken a lot of time out of your day, and I understand if..."
"Of course!!" Hange replied, perhaps a little too quickly." I mean, yes, I found it a little boring anyway."
"Boring?" Erwin asked indignantly as the three headed towards the exit." This was a masterpiece, I - "
Levi rolled his eyes playfully and gave Hange a big grin.
"He’s always like that."
"Yes, and you love that about me" Erwin winked at him and Levi blushed.
Hange burst into loud laughter and the three of them stepped into the cold night air.
The next time Levi was forced by a thunder to relive his worst moments, he had double support.
Erwin protected him from the rain, and Hange brought him the sun.