Work Text:
"Blaine, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Kurt."
"Really, because you look--"
"I said I'm fine!"
"Calm down! Why are you so angry at me?"
"I'm sorry. I'm just really stressed today because of school and everything. I shouldn't have taken it out on you like that."
"Yeah, you really shouldn't have."
"So... was this enough of a fight to get make-up sex?"
"Hmm, I'm not sure... Don't give me that look!"
"Then stop teasing!"
"It's not enough for make-up sex, but how about make-up blowjobs?"
"That is an excellent idea."
--
"Kurt? We're out of soy milk and I want it to go with my biweekly cronut."
"Okay? Go buy some?"
"Weren't you supposed to do that yesterday?"
"We weren't out of it yesterday, and you're the only one who drinks it, so how was I supposed to know?"
"I don't know, maybe you could have asked me?"
"And you couldn't have just told me when you drank the last of it rather than getting all passive-aggressive about it now?"
"How was I passive-aggressive?"
"'Well, maybe you could have...' That's very passive-aggressive, Blaine."
"And you're just being aggressive-aggressive."
"Ugh, wait, are we seriously having an argument over soy milk?"
"Yes?"
"Let's talk about this later, okay? I'm still half asleep and starving."
"And when you say 'talk about it', do you mean actually talk, or..."
"You horndog! But honestly, I do mean make-up sex."
"Why don't we have breakfast in bed and then we can 'talk'?"
"Why are you winking? I hope you don't mean what I think you mean because you are not putting your cronut anywhere near my dick!"
--
"Did you knock over one of my robot figurines this morning?”
"Maybe? I was kind of in a hurry to leave..."
"I thought I've told you to be more careful around them, Kurt! They're vintage!"
"Did it break?"
"No, but that's beside the point!"
"If it didn't break, why are you so upset about it?"
"It could have broken!"
"But it didn't."
"But it could have!"
"Blaine, if you keep arguing like a five year old, I'm not going to want to have make-up sex with you."
"How should I argue instead?"
"Just get on the bed, honey."
--
"I know what you've been doing."
"It's not what you think, Kurt! It was supposed to be a surprise for our three-quarter-iversary!"
"What? I'm talking about how you've been making up stupid excuses to fight so we can have make-up sex. What are you talking about?"
"Uh, that. Which I'm not doing. God, you always get these crazy ideas about me in your head that have no basis in reality and I'm sick of it!"
"WHAT DID YOU JUST--"
"You heard me!"
"Oh. You little shit."
"Me? Never!"
"Fuck you. Figuratively and literally."
"Oh my god..."
"Bed. Now."
"Yes sir!"
"And Blaine? The doves carrying a bouquet of roses thing? I figured that out ages ago."