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“Don’t go, brother Mo.” He Tian followed as Guan Shan crossed the apartment toward the front door. “You can’t leave.”
The feigned innocence in his voice and the clear sound of a smile on his lips only pissed Guan Shan off even further. Guan Shan was not fucking smiling. His shirt and pants were unwearable, soaking wet in his fist because He Tian wouldn’t lend him a bag. He’d have to wear this rich asshole’s stupidly fancy pajamas all the way home and he would never blend into a crowd dressed like this in public. He better not see anyone he knew. This whole night already sucked enough.
He shouldn’t have come to see He Tian. A stupid mistake he wouldn’t repeat.
“Hey.” He Tian’s hand closed around his arm, physically stopping him from reaching the door.
“Now what do you want?” Guan Shan snapped, dropping the clothes and turning on He Tian. Another mistake. He Tian was right there, too close for a strike, and he wasn’t smiling anymore. He trapped both Guan Shan’s wrists in a grip that was as hard to break as shackles. Now Guan Shan couldn’t turn away. “You…”
His next word caught in his throat as He Tian closed his eyes and pressed Guan Shan’s hands to his face, as if hiding behind them. “Last night, I had a dream…”
Guan Shan watched, baffled, as He Tian puppeteered his arms to make Guan Shan’s fingers drag over his skin and into his hair. “Crazy bastard.”
“The dream was about the puppy I lost when I was a kid,” he continued, as if he wasn’t nuzzling into Guan Shan’s palms like a cat. “And in it, the dog came back to find me…” He stopped and slid Guan Shan’s hands back to cup either side of his neck. He didn’t open his eyes, his head hung close enough that Guan Shan could feel his breath. “Now I realize that…I don’t like the feeling of being alone. Stay here with me.”
Guan Shan stared mutely up at the taller boy, who did not release his wrists.
“You like to sleep on a sofa, right? So sit down and watch a movie with me. I’ll pay you.”
“But you’re…”
He Tian’s eyes opened. They contained no trace of his earlier mirth or mocking innocence. They were dark as the night sky that framed him, a shadowed cityscape looming beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows at his back.
Guan Shan hesitated, feeling the need to choose his words carefully. “You’re popular. You know everyone loves you.” He thought of all the girls who were always lurking around He Tian outside of class, wanting to carry his books, walk him home, watch him play basketball, fetch him a drink. Even strangers—on the train, on the street, anywhere they went—looked at him like he was perfect. “If you don’t want to be alone, you can ask literally anyone to be with you.”
“Meaning?” He Tian’s voice had flattened too. He sounded like he was braced for news that was about to put him in a bad mood.
Guan Shan’s face felt hot. It was getting harder to maintain this unbroken eye contact. Their foreheads were almost touching and He Tian’s hold didn’t allow him to back away. He Tian’s gaze felt like a knife that could pierce skin. Guan Shan held it, and he tried to hold his voice steady too. “So why don’t you ask anyone else? Someone you don’t have to pay.”
He Tian studied him for another moment, then straightened, the movement pulling Guan Shan’s body closer to his. His expression softened into something more sly, as if he could see a few steps ahead and had solved whatever problem had been troubling him. He looked down his nose at Guan Shan.
“Why do you think I don’t ask anyone else?”
He sounded like he was ready to be amused by the answer, but Guan Shan was sure he didn’t know the right one. Why He Tian did the things he did was a black hole from which no light could escape. Guan Shan had thought about it before, plenty of times, and he was sure there was nothing he had done or that he could do that merited He Tian turning him into his personal charity project or punching bag or whatever it was that He Tian wanted him to be. There was nothing special about him (though he was not about to say so out loud to He Tian) and in fact, a lot about him that made him the very opposite of “special.” Everyone else could see it, plain as fucking day.
And yet, Guan Shan could not imagine He Tian laughing it off if anyone else had punched him in the face tonight. Or if anyone else had slapped him like a hundred times yesterday. First for posting that their afterschool meeting was a “date,” and then for suggesting Guan Shan play the maid in his stupid play that no one would ever want to see. The idiot had really typed up an entire script just to piss Guan Shan off.
The unbelievable fuckton of time He Tian wasted in chasing him around, trying to embarrass him, and telling him what to do surely left almost no time for anyone else. Which…even though it horrified Guan Shan now as it dawned upon him, meant that he was kind of glad that He Tian wasn’t asking anyone else to stay the night. He was shaping up to be a terrifyingly all-or-nothing game. Guan Shan didn’t want nothing.
“How would I know?” Guan Shan gave up on the staring contest and dropped his gaze. “I’d have to be insane to understand you.” He tried halfheartedly to wrench his wrists free for a last time and couldn’t. “You don’t have to be alone, okay?”
“It’s settled then.” He Tian beamed, his face melting into gentleness, albeit a gentleness that still had fangs when it smiled. He released Gaun Shan’s wrists but just as quickly snaked an arm around his waist and fell back onto the sofa, bringing Guan Shan down on his lap. “We can get cozy,” he purred into Guan Shan’s wet hair.
“Fuck!” Guan Shan pushed off He Tian and made it to the opposite end of the sofa. He leaned back against the arm without taking his eyes off He Tian, straightening his legs out between them to keep the evil fuck at a distance. “You still have to pay me.”
“Of course.” He Tian was still smiling, all benevolence. “Just name your price.”
Guan Shan threw out the first number that came to mind. Double what he made in a day at his current part time job. “Sixty yuan.”
“For the whole night? You shouldn’t sell yourself short like that.” He lifted his phone from the ottoman and typed. “I’m sending six hundred.”
“What? It’s not for the night! It’s one movie!”
“A sleepover movie.” He Tian maintained that radiantly white, toothy grin as he slid closer. He grabbed Guan Shan’s ankles and pulled.
“Hey!” Guan Shan kicked free and pushed both feet into He Tian’s thigh to slide him back. Then he hugged his legs close to his chest. “Psycho. Just keep your hands to yourself, okay?”
“Forgive my excitement, little Mo. It’s my first sleepover. A very special milestone in every boy’s life. You’re going to be so many of my firsts, aren’t you?” He Tian winked.
Guan Shan felt the blood rush to his face. He could tell He Tian was thinking of the time he’d stuck his tongue down Guan Shan’s throat, just because Guan Shan didn’t want to share a water bottle. He probably would have forgotten about it by now if the bastard didn’t continually refer to it as their first kiss. “Like hell I am. You’re not my first anything.”
“Oh, I see… Brother Mo’s quite experienced. You must have a lot of boys sleep over?”
“Of course I don’t!”
“So this is your first time too?”
“I don’t know,” he lied. He did not live alone in a massive luxury penthouse. There was no room for anyone to sleep over at his mom’s place. “It’s not important. Can we just start this movie?”
He Tian used his phone to browse the smart TV menu and start a film starring two detectives, a young man and woman. Guan Shan could tell from looking at them that they were going to fall in love by the end of the movie. Not his kind of story at all, but whatever.
He grabbed a pillow and tried to get comfortable, determined to suffer through his boredom for the money. Six hundred could pay off a monthly bill or two and make his mom happy.
He Tian passed a folded blanket to Guan Shan, which he welcomed until He Tian tried to get underneath it with him. “Quit it.” Guan Shan yanked it away from him. “I know you own more than one blanket, asshole.”
“Don’t be cruel.” He Tian’s large frame forced open and filled the space between Guan Shan and the sofa’s backrest. “Share with me. Please, I’m so cold.”
“Get away from me!” Guan Shan whipped the blanket onto the floor.
He Tian stared at it, suspended in silence. Guan Shan started to sweat. He Tian’s face had gone blank and unreadable, just as it had after Guan Shan had hit him earlier. When He Tian had lifted him off his feet and forced him into the bathtub, fully clothed.
“What?” Guan Shan demanded, baring his teeth though he physically shrunk away. “Are you going to strangle me with it?”
He Tian observed as Guan Shan widened the gap between them while trying not to look too intimidated. It could not have been a very convincing act. He kept picturing He Tian locking him in a closet.
Instead, He Tian lifted the blanket off the floor and draped it back over Guan Shan. He didn’t try to weasel his way under it this time, but leaned away against the backrest. The sofa was so large, wider than Guan Shan’s bed, that they could sit side-by-side without touching. The movie’s dialogue continued in the background, ignored.
“I shouldn’t have gotten you wet. Right?” He Tian reached out to ruffle his damp hair, gentler than usual. There was something fragile about his smile, like thin ice about to crack. “I forgot my dog is as sensitive as a cat.” His touch turned into a scratch as if he were petting an animal.
“I’m not sensitive.”
“Good, you accept my apology.” When Guan Shan lifted an arm to swat him away, He Tian’s hand closed on his. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to apologize. You didn’t know how much I wanted you to stay.” He leaned a little closer, his smile sharpening like a blade as his voice lowered. “And I know you’re not going to hit me like that again.”
“I’m not sorry,” Guan Shan mumbled. He turned to the TV just to avoid looking at He Tian. His attempts to be sincere could make Gaun Shan so much more uncomfortable than his trolling. Guan Shan couldn’t brush them off as a joke or an insult, just like he couldn’t object to He Tian’s loose grip on his fingers as a provocation or controlling. The hold was light enough to let him slip away if he wanted without a fight. Yet he found he couldn’t with the way He Tian was watching his every move, analyzing. Any move would mean something. So he did nothing, ignored the feeling that was tightening his chest, and tried to figure out what was happening on screen.
“Do you think she’s cute?”
“What?” Guan Shan turned to find He Tian still watching him rather than the movie.
“That actress. You’re watching her pretty closely.”
“Who…” Guan Shan checked the screen again to see which one he meant, though it didn’t really matter. He felt the same disinterest for everything about this story. When he turned back, He Tian was frowning as if he’d been neglected for hours.
“She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he deadpanned.
He Tian’s eyes narrowed, scrutinizing. “You’re flirting with me.”
Guan Shan yanked his hand free. “Don’t you understand sarcasm? Do you have dog shit for brains?”
“Hm. Maybe I do if I always have my dog on my mind.” He tried to scratch Guan Shan’s head again before he got slapped away.
“I’ll refund your money if you keeping touching—”
“Oh wow.” He Tian brought his fingers to his lips as if shocked. “A refund? Is this your confession that you truly want to be with me? Your time is free as long as I touch you? Little Mo wants me so bad—”
“I’ll refund it and leave.”
He Tian snorted. “Funny you think I’d let you walk out.” He plucked at Guan Shan’s shirt. “You’re not allowed to ride the train looking like this. What if you’re found by some old pervert who just can’t help himself—”
“I’ll kill him.” Guan Shan glared daggers at He Tian as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Then the police will have so many questions for you. And I can guess who you’re going to call to bail you out.”
“It’d be your fault for fucking up my clothes in the first place.”
“I’ll take the fall for you if that’s what you want. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect my little dog. You’ll never be without me by your side.”
“I’d rather rot in prison.”
“Than watch a movie with your best friend? So harsh…”
“You’re not my best friend.”
“Sure I’m not.”
He Tian regarded him with an annoyingly smug look, certain Guan Shan couldn’t argue this point and win. Before He Tian, Guan Shan’s friend pool had been…less friends and more connections who might know of illegal jobs he could do. He Tian was an entire economy unto himself. The give and take, favors owned and debts repaid, never seemed to net out at zero. He kept barging into Guan Shan’s business and making Guan Shan’s problems his own.
Guan Shan sidestepped. “We’re not even watching a movie, are we? Isn’t that what you’re paying me for?”
He Tian wrinkled his nose, looking at the TV like it contained a bucket of worms. “So sorry to keep you from your one true love.”
“Put something else on. I don’t care.”
He Tian scrolled for a few seconds, then chose a horror movie about a possession in a rural village. Equally not Guan Shan’s type of movie. Before hitting play, He Tian used an app to shut off every light in the apartment. The place was dark except for the TV screen.
He Tian reclined and added his head to Guan Shan’s pillow.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m afraid of the dark, remember?” He snuggled close to Guan Shan’s back.
“Then turn on a light…” Guan Shan grumbled.
“This is better,” He Tian whispered. “Doesn’t knowing I’m close make you feel safer than a light?”
Guan Shan didn’t answer. He just wanted He Tian to shut up and fall asleep. He tried harder to follow the plot of the movie this time, but not very far into the story, villagers began to turn on each other and every scene ended in an increasingly gruesome and sadistic death. The special effects were unfortunately realistic. After watching a grandmother get ripped apart and eaten, Guan Shan felt a little ill. When a mutilated victim suddenly shrieked back to life, he startled, involuntarily pressing back into He Tian.
He cursed under his breath and waited for He Tian’s insult. He must have chosen this gross movie just to get a chance to tease Guan Shan for being a coward. When he did, Guan Shan was going to throw an elbow.
But nothing came. He Tian only wrapped an arm across Guan Shan. He felt weirdly relieved to have some part of He Tian between him and the screen, and those towering black windows which suddenly looked so breakable. He Tian had very large hands and felt solid as a wall around him. If there were a demonic outbreak happening outside right now, Guan Shan would probably be fine, but only thanks to He Tian, who didn’t shy from a knife fight and could summon helicopters at will.
Guan Shan pushed the idea from his mind again to focus on the movie. But it was only getting worse.
“Shit. Not the school,” he whined. “What are they doing with that ax?” He Tian must have dug this nightmare up from the darkest, slimiest corner of the internet.
The screen exploded into red gore and Guan Shan turned away, eyes closed against He Tian’s shoulder. He Tian turned the volume way down, until Guan Shan could barely hear the tiny screams coming from the TV. The sound of He Tian’s slow, steady breath was louder, close as it was to his ear.
“Do you like this fucking movie?” Guan Shan demanded.
He Tian wasn’t watching it. He was watching Guan Shan through sleepy, half-lidded eyes. He smiled serenely as his arm tightened, just a little, around Guan Shan.
“It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”