Work Text:
Saanvi finds solace in a bottle.
Technically, many glasses she thinks might be shots. Not a heavy drinker prior, Saanvi isn’t very knowledgeable in the liquor world, but the burn feels better than the acute helplessness of her situation. No Eureka. No response from Vance. Her parents don’t understand. Ben is so deeply consumed by his grief that he abandoned the Lifeboat. Everything wrong in her life is beginning to stack up like the empty glasses in front of her.
To make things worse, of all the restaurants with a bar, Alex and her family walk into this one.
“Do you mind if I get the check like, right now?” Saanvi asks the bartender.
“You know what? It’s on me tonight. Looks like you could use the win.”
“You know what I could use? A big, dark cave I can just crawl into.”
The bartender chuckles. “Well, I’m fresh out of those, but I do have a bed you could crawl into.”
Saanvi scoffs, mostly in disbelief, but maybe a little flattered? She catches sight of Alex laughing with her husband and two children in the reflective surface again. And whether it’s a good decision or not, Saanvi decides.
“What time do you get off?” she asks.
After confirming later plans, rushing through it before she can chicken out, a whistle comes from Saanvi’s left as soon as the bartender goes to tend to another customer.
“Smooth.” Drea Mikami, Michaela’s former partner, tips her glass with a wink. It lacks judgement, but Saanvi still ducks in embarrassment.
“Not at all actually,” Saanvi mutters under her breath.
“Something tells me you don’t have to do too much.”
“I’m not sure I know what you’re implying, detective.”
“Oh, Dr. Saanvi Bahl does recognize me.”
“Detective Mikami, I never forget a name or face. I saw you were at Grace’s…” Saanvi fidgets with her hands and wishes she still had a drink.
“Please, just Drea. I could not be more off the clock than I am right now. I don’t know what you were drinking, but this place makes a damn good Old Fashioned. And I will steal your cherries if you don’t want them.”
It’s a small mercy that Drea motions for a different bartender stationed at her end of the bar to bring another round and one for her “friend.” They’re acquaintances at best.
“I was actually on my way out,” Saanvi says, but sits on the barstool next to Drea when the bartender sets down two glasses filled with a rich amber liquor garnished with cherries.
“This is a sipping cocktail.” Drea demonstrates.
Saanvi tries it. “Sweet yet somehow bitter and also spicy…?”
“Perfectly balanced, unlike anything else in my life right now so I can appreciate it.” Drea takes a sip that’s more like a gulp. “So, what has you alone at the bar other than free drinks from the cute bartender?” When Saanvi doesn’t answer, Drea continues, “I’ll go first. Ever since Mick quit the force and Jared got demoted, the precinct, it isn’t the same. I was just offered a transfer to a different unit, but I am uncertain…”
Saanvi plays with the skewer piercing through two very dark cherries. “Why did you become a detective in the first place?”
“Wow, it’s been a minute since anyone asked me that,” Drea laughs. “It always felt like the best use of my power of observation and I always wanted to help people.”
“Will this transfer give you the opportunity to do that?”
"Yes, but it’s not that simple.”
“Sounds simple to me.” Saanvi takes another long sip of her cocktail. She isn’t sure if she likes it, but the kick of alcohol makes her head feel like it might float off her shoulders and that’s nice.
“It really isn’t, but I’m not mad at the attitude.”
“My problem is I know what I want and I have the skill set to help people, but I don’t have the opportunity or means. Hence…” Saanvi indicates the drink in her hand, one of what the Old Saanvi would think is far too many. New Saanvi doesn’t really care. It’s not like Old Saanvi made the best decisions either.
“Is there any way I could help?” Drea asks.
Saanvi laughs, but there’s no humor in it or her life. “Thank you for offering, but unless you can get me a lab and reinstate my medical license…”
“Your medical license was revoked? Please tell me it was some mad scientist stuff and not purely a result of the passenger panic.”
Saanvi points at the other woman with the glass still in her hand. “Hey, your deductive reasoning skills are sound.”
“It’s such bullshit,” Drea says. “I’ve seen Michaela solve countless cases and save countless lives. You cured cancer! And this is the thanks you get? All of these directives coming straight from the Mayor’s Office, it’s fear-based and wrong…”
“And unstoppable,” Saanvi adds. “I might be grounded, but you aren’t. So if you think you can take advantage of this new opportunity then you should.”
Drea takes that in and nods.“Thanks. I think that’s exactly what I needed to hear tonight.” She laughs. “I did not expect this when I decided to stop for a drink.”
“Me neither.”
Saanvi gives her a small yet genuine smile. She hasn’t had much to smile about lately. For someone who dedicated their life to helping others, this small act, this conversation, it feels good.
Her smile drops off when she catches sight of Alex no longer at her table, but frozen in the walkway and staring right at them. Saanvi lets her long, dark hair spill across her face like a shield. She closes her fingers into a fist atop the bar. When Drea lays her hand over Saanvi’s, she turns and their eyes meet. They’re both sufficiently intoxicated and it shows yet there’s something so calming and reassuring about Drea’s gaze.
“Saanvi…?”
And, oh, Alex’s voice saying her name still makes Saanvi want to be closer and run away simultaneously.
Feeling Drea’s thumb drift across her knuckles, Saanvi relaxes her hand, assumes her toughest front and turns to Alex.
“Dr. Bates, hi,” Saanvi says, nearly cringing at the volume and forced cheerfulness of her own voice.
Alex opens her mouth, but words don’t come. Her eyes dart from Saanvi to Drea and back. “Dr. Bahl, it’s good to see you again.”
Saanvi knows she started it with the casualness in addressing each other, but hearing Alex speak of her with such distance, while necessary, still feels like a fresh cut each time. Drea gives her hand a squeeze.
“Hi,” Drea interjects with a smile, resting her arm along the back of Saanvi’s chair. “I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Drea.”
“Uh-huh,” Saanvi says when she’s fumbling to form words that are even remotely coherent.
After an unmistakably awkward stretch of silence, Alex smiles a shaky smile so forced it ceases to be a smile. “Well, I really should get back to the husband and kids. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
“Date,” Drea corrects.
Alex flinches. It’s so slight that you wouldn’t catch it if you weren’t watching her as closely as Saanvi is and always has. She feels a flash of white hot rage because how dare she? How dare she deign to be hurt when she was the one who said they couldn’t be together, said they had to end all communication, who left Saanvi on that plane to Jamaica alone? Saanvi can’t see Alex sitting with her family from this end of the bar and stops trying. The anger cools to sadness and she just wants to be numb.
“I can’t get you a lab or your medical license, but I make a pretty rad obnoxious fake date.” Drea lets go of Saanvi’s hand and slams back the rest of her drink. “Was that not okay?”
“No, yes, I don’t know,” Saanvi answers quickly. “I don’t care anymore.”
Drea chuckles, clearly doesn’t believe her at all. “If you say so.”
“I don’t want to care anymore.” Saanvi tilts her head and watches Drea fish out the cherry from her now empty glass, press the dark red fruit between her teeth and bite down. “Do you want to get out of here?”
“So smooth,” Drea laughs. “The cute bartender’s gonna be disappointed.”
When Saanvi simply shrugs, Drea cannot close out her tab fast enough. Maybe it’s not the best decision, but Saanvi did not set out to drink at a bar alone with the best of intentions either.
Drea’s kisses are relentless and often punctuated with a laugh, a sound Saanvi wants to drown in. She tried alcohol. She’s been trying alcohol a lot. And now she’s trying this—hungry kisses and getting Drea out of her designer coat and turning her constantly whirring brain off long enough to feel something other than stagnant.
***
It’s nonsensical, the way Drea’s heart drops when she silently catches Saanvi texting Alex on the other side of the bed. It shouldn’t be a surprise. Drea saw this Alex person—total smoke show—and Saanvi’s reaction—ow. She noticed the wedding ring and Alex outright referenced her nuclear family and still chose to go home with Saanvi because she wanted to. Simple as that.
Once she’s sure Saanvi is sound asleep, Drea gets dressed and steals one last look at her. So beautiful and so intelligent and so lost. Drea silently wishes the best for her, decides against leaving a note or her number and goes home.
The next day, Drea has brunch with Michaela and tells her about her decision to take the job at the new 828 Registry that has manifested out of nowhere nearly overnight. It means the passengers will have someone on the inside, but it also means this will be their last mimosa meetup for a while. In the bigger picture, loneliness is a small price to pay in exchange for being in a position to support the marginalized.
Maybe the loneliness is also why Drea starts sleeping with Jared. They’re just two lonely people, two non-828ers who understand what it’s like to have your life changed by them. Maybe knowing Jared will never be over Michaela going in is easier to stomach. That’s what Drea tells herself anyway. She never had a talent for making good decisions with her heart.
The next time Drea sees Saanvi Bahl, it’s a few months later at the Registry Office.
Drea sees her first, waiting in line on the other side of the cage in the segregated passenger seating area (disgusting), and her first instinct is to hide in her cubical. Before she can, Saanvi catches sight of her, a look of surprise on her face that is honestly too beautiful for words. Remembering herself, her place in this building, her duty to uphold the facade, Drea deliberately ignores her and goes about her workday.
Except she doesn’t. Drea tracks Saanvi as she moves about the space. Saanvi sits down with Morales for the rundown of the federally-issued “828 Health and Safety” questionnaire and mandatory fingerprinting. One wrong answer, one Calling while in the hot seat, can mean the difference between freedom (as much as they’re allowed anyway) and detainment.
Once Saanvi is free to leave, Drea slips out of the building through a side exit and catches her outside.
“Excuse me, miss!” Drea walks briskly to catch up to the walking daydream of a woman. “I think you dropped this.”
Saanvi waits for her and Drea will convince herself that her heart rate picks up because of the near-jog and not the tiniest polite gesture. Standing in a way that the CCTV camera on the corner will only see her back, Drea holds out her business card between two fingers. She flips it over to flash the handwritten number on the back.
“If anyone from the Registry gives you any trouble, text or call this number,” Drea whispers, “and I’ll see what I can do.”
Saanvi looks from the business card to Drea’s face, her mind so clearly working behind dark, inquisitive eyes. “So this is the new opportunity you mentioned?”
“I told you it wasn’t simple.”
“But you took the job.” It’s a simple statement of fact, no judgement, said with no particular emotion at all, but it still makes Drea feel…defensive.
She steps just a little closer and lowers her voice even more. “Look, Mick knows and I’m trying to do what I can for her and all of the passengers, including you, just from the inside.”
“That’s noble of you.”
“It’s the right thing to do.”
Saanvi takes the business card and if her fingers linger for a few more heartbeats than strictly necessary, it has to be Drea’s imagination.
“I guess an employee of the 828 Registry can’t be seen out in public at a bar with a passenger.”
“There’s a certain unwritten code of conduct, unfortunately,” Drea says, rocking on her heels. “This conversation has probably gone on longer than it should have already.”
“That’s a shame.” Saanvi looks like there’s more she wants to say, but lets it go. “Thank you. I guess I’ll see you around, or not.”
“Stay out of trouble, Dr. Bahl.”
Drea would be lying if she said she didn’t wonder about Saanvi Bahl since that time at the bar. Right now she has to settle for watching her walk away. She seems more put-together than the last time they met, but that isn’t saying much since they were both several drinks in. She wonders if Saanvi found what she had been looking for and hopes it doesn’t put her in the scope of Drea’s new master.
***
“I was thinking about your tattoo earlier today.”
Drea nearly falls out of bed, but luckily she doesn’t and doesn’t wake Jared either. Drea slips out of bed, slips into a robe and takes her phone out of the room, quietly closing the door behind her. “Hello…?”
“In the style of traditional Japanese art. The peacock feathers and cherry blossoms on your back.”
“Saanvi? Hey, hi, long time no—are you drunk?”
“Quite possibly. It’s…too quiet. Too much space for too many thoughts I guess.”
“So you want to talk about my tattoo to fill the silence?”
“Well, I was in the middle of reading about peafowl. Did you know they produce very low infrasonic sounds that typically can’t be heard by humans? The purpose isn’t clear yet, but communication seems like a fair bet, which led me to thinking about your tattoo.”
“Honestly, I go back and forth on whether the tattoo was a good decision or not every few years.” Drea sinks into a chair and stares out at the twinkling lights of the city. “I was young when I got it, but my grandma loved cherry blossom season. She wrote poetry about hanami, the cherry blossom viewings in Tokyo. Mortality, mindfulness, and renewal. As for the feathers, Buddhists consider peafowl guardians from disaster.”
“Did you know peafowl are native to India and Sri Lanka?”
“I did not. Have you ever been?”
They talk for a while longer. Drea can hear the way Saanvi’s words occasionally slur into one another, especially when she gets a little enthusiastic. She can also hear the clink of a glass bottle hitting a table and the swish of liquor. Drea hates feeling so far away.
“It’s late,” Saanvi says, sounding like she’s fighting sleep. “I should let you go.”
“Before you do that, can you do something for me?” Drea asks. “Call me again next time there’s too much space for your thoughts. I think I needed this too. It’s nice not talking about work for just a little bit.”
“Okay. I will.”
“If you even remember this conversation tomorrow.”
“I will,” Saanvi insists.
“Okay,” Drea laughs. “Night, Saanvi.”
“Goodnight, Drea.”
***
“Did you remember to grab lunch?”
Saanvi scans her desk, from the liquor bottle to the ash tray to the stack of research she’s going through and finally, a packet of mixed nuts. “Just grabbed it, actually.”
“That sounds suspiciously made-up on the spot, but I’m going to pretend I didn’t catch it.”
Saanvi tears through the packet with her teeth. For someone so laid-back and “chill” (a self-description), Drea is so attentive and detailed-oriented. It’s weirdly endearing. Saanvi made the mistake of admitting that Drea’s calls at lunchtime are the one hour out of the day where she isn’t thinking about the Lifeboat or the Death Date and so they have become more frequent. Sometimes it feels like their little talks are the best part of even her most eventful days.
“Guess who I spent my morning with,” Drea says.
“Considering you work in the jaws of hell…”
“Ben Stone.”
Saanvi feels her stomach sour and gives up on eating.
“Oh.”
“Whoa. I know winter’s a’comin’ but that was surprisingly cold.”
“Don’t over-analyze. I’m just…frustrated with Ben currently. I want to be understanding and respectful of his grieving, but he’s completely abandoned the Lifeboat and not to mention Cal and Olive. It’s just…hard to watch and be ignored and disregarded so I’ve been staying in my research lane. And you don’t want to hear all of this…”
“This is exactly how I want to spend my lunch break, actually.”
“I don’t know if that’s sarcasm or not, but I don’t have time to analyze. I need to get back to work.”
“Unfortunately, I do too.”
“Drea…” Saanvi pauses, pressing her lips together. “You know that you can rant to me about work or whatever you need too, right?”
Drea whistles and Saanvi feels a warmth in her chest at the knowledge that Drea learned to whistle from her dad as a child. She retains every bit of personal information Drea is willing to share. Even more than that, she hoards it.
“Wow, we’re graduating from drunk late night conversations to sober lunch break rants? This feels like a big step.”
“Okay, I really do need to get back to my experiments. So when you’re done deflecting, you know how to reach me.”
“You can’t see it, but I’m clutching my pearls right now,” Drea jokes. “But I appreciate it. Undercover work is…not easy or fun, but it’s nothing close to what you and Mick and the other passengers are going through.”
“Maybe not, but you’re helping us a lot. I appreciate you and I know Mick does too.”
“Um, cool. Thanks. Alright! Back to the hellmouth I go. Talk soon.”
Later, when she gets a text from Drea that she’s pulling another late night in her cubical, Saanvi is still in her makeshift lab, rarely out of arm’s length of the black box. She takes a long enough break to order a few dishes from her favorite Indian restaurant and have it delivered to Drea.
***
“Hey, business as usual on your end?”
“Just trying to contain myself as I wait for Vance to procure a very expensive laser that I am going to take apart and ruin in a matter of seconds.”
Drea can practically hear Saanvi buzzing with excitement over whatever lead she’s chasing and it eases some of the stress over this 828 serial killer situation that has the entire office in a frantic scramble. Just hearing Saanvi’s voice eases her when Mick’s calls only stress her out. Admittedly, Saanvi might have a bit of an unfair advantage in that regard.
“Things are…hectic here. Another 828er was killed within twenty-four hours of the first. I’m just calling to make sure you’re safe and staying vigilant.”
“I’m so deep in my research, don’t expect me to leave the Bird Nest within the next twenty-four hours.”
“Okay, why doesn’t that make me feel better?”
“Drea, I’m fine. You already have a lot to deal with. Worrying about me doesn’t have to be another thing on your already full plate.”
“Just a friendly reminder, burnout is a thing.”
“You sound just like Vance.”
“I’m pro-Vance these days so I’m going to take that as a compliment. Just promise me you’ll be careful until we find out who’s responsible and stop them. And maybe even after that.”
“I promise.”
Good enough for now, Drea thinks to herself. The distance between them is necessary no matter how hollow it leaves her feeling once the call ends.
In a twist of events that feels like the universe laughing at them, Cal is dragged to the Registry, suspected to be the killer they’re on the hunt for. Of course when all Drea can do is delete some files and stall for time, Dr. Alex Bates makes a passionate argument and has Cal released with no time to spare. It makes sense why Saanvi would be in love with this woman.
Just before Alex leaves, they make eye contact on opposite sides of the steel caging, recognition in her intelligent eyes. Drea’s gaze goes steely and she straightens her blazer, committing to the role she chose.
***
They had both known it was a risk when Michaela invited Drea to her wedding anniversary dinner. Drea had hesitated, asked if she was sure. Michaela had hesitated, made that classic fuck it face and told her to bring a bottle of wine. Drea had been so focused on being as stealthy as possible on the drive over that she didn’t even anticipate the possibility of Saanvi being there. Jared too. Saanvi and Jared and her all at Michaela’s home.
Awkward, awkward, awkward.
After initial hellos and brief updates followed by sworn blood oaths to not mention work again for the rest of the night, Drea casually sidles up to Saanvi. “Dr. Bahl.”
Saanvi looks adorably confused for a moment, then purses her lips. “Detective Mikami.”
And oh, that hits back harder than expected. Drea’s shoulders drop and her mask of cool nonchalance turns sour. “Okay, that feels bad.”
Saanvi throws up her hand not occupied by a wineglass in exasperation. “You started it.”
Seeing the impatience on Saanvi’s beautiful face, Drea slumps even further in the archway and can’t help but smile. “How've you been?”
“Oh, you know, wrapped up in my research, but I am surviving. For now.”
“You look good,” Drea says. “I mean, it’s good to see you, not just hear your voice.”
“There hasn’t been much of the latter as of late either.” Saanvi’s voice sounds almost accusing, like she knows there’s something there and she’s eager to uncover it, but at the same time her eyes are soft with concern. “Is everything okay on your end?”
“Nothing I care to talk about tonight.”
It’s not that she’s been avoiding Saanvi since seeing Alex come to the rescue, but their calls have been less frequent and Jared has been coming over a lot more. Saanvi doesn’t push for an explanation, just gives Drea’s forearm a comforting pat.
Dinner isn’t too bad. It’s easier with everyone else there to fill the silence, their spirits high and conversation flowing. Drea does not make eye contact with anyone, but wears an easy smile throughout. She feels like she’s in the clear by the time post-dinner toasts are being given.
“Uh, well, as someone who is still in search of their person, you two give me hope.” Saanvi regards Zeke and Michaela with so much love and open honesty. “So here’s to happiness and to hope.”
Shortly after Jared’s awkward speech that Drea is certainly going to bust his ass over (best man won? Best woman? What?), something strange happens. All of the passengers in the room check the fuck out. Not even thinking, just reacting, Drea goes to Saanvi’s side, prepared to catch her if she falls.
“What’s the standard operating procedure here?” Drea asks.
“They’re having a Calling,” Olive explains. “We just need to let them ride it out.”
Drea hates this. She hates being useless. She hates seeing Saanvi in what looks like pain.
When they finally come out of it, Saanvi’s about to fall backwards so Drea grabs her and slowly eases her down to the couch. Everyone starts sharing rapidly and springs to action, heading for the stairs.
“What do you need me to do?” Drea asks.
“Go home,” Michaela says.
Damn. Just like that? Okay.
“Seriously?” Drea asks.
“Seriously,” Mick reiterates. “It’s risky enough having you over for dinner, Drea. A detective of the 828 Registry can’t be seen running around with passengers. Go home and I will keep you updated.”
“Nice to see losing the badge didn’t make you any less bossy,” Drea mutters, but she gets it. She wishes she could do more, the more hands-on approach like when they were still partners at the precinct, but those days are long gone. “You better keep me updated!”
“I will,” Michaela assures her. “And thanks for coming over tonight.”
“I had a lovely time.” It’s said with a little sarcasm, but Michaela knows her well enough to not be offended or anything.
Drea watches Michaela pass a stationary Saanvi on the way. Saanvi looks at her in an entirely indecipherable way. Is it gratitude or something else neither are willing to speak of? Drea tells herself not to analyze too deeply even though she knows it’s all she’ll be able to think about for the rest of the night.
Finally, Saanvi decides on, “Drive safe.”
Drea nods. “Good luck with everything.”
It’s just her luck that after all of their late night conversations and lunchtime check-ins, this is all they can manage to say to each other in person. And with that, Drea leaves through the back without making eye contact with Jared who’s in the kitchen with Zeke. She already knows she isn’t going to hear the end of it the next time she sees him.
***
“When something’s precious, any chance to keep it going…”
Hearing herself speak, Saanvi inwardly cringes.
“Speaking of,” Alex says, “are you still seeing that woman from the bar?”
Saanvi laughs awkwardly. “What?”
“I don’t mean to pry! And maybe I’m completely out of line, but when I went down to the Registry Office…I saw her, the woman from the bar. She works there. Did you…? Are you…? Feel free to not answer that…”
Oh, the night at the bar.
Saanvi supposes she should feel bad about that, especially since Alex has been such a big help recently. When she looks back on that night, all Saanvi cares to remember is Drea’s smile before devouring the cherry garnish and the peaceful look on her face as she slept in Saanvi’s bed.
“Drea, yeah,” Saanvi says. “I know that she works there.”
When Saanvi does not elaborate, Alex nods. “Okay. I just wanted to make sure you know and she wasn’t…being deceptive or taking advantage…”
Saanvi tries to laugh, but only manages a flat sound that doesn’t resemble a laugh at all.
“No, Drea is a good person in a complicated position. If anything, I’m the one who…”
Saanvi stops herself. That’s absolutely the correct decision. Alex doesn’t need to hear that if anyone is taking advantage of anyone in that relationship, it’s Saanvi feeding on Drea’s kindness, her one point of human contact outside of the 828 Lifeboat and the Bird Nest.
“You know,” Alex says, “you can talk to me if you want. We used to do that a lot before.”
“Before,” Saanvi repeats. She can barely remember a time before the Callings, a time where she felt romantic love even if it came with conditions. “A lot has happened since then, Alex.”
“I know, Vi.” Her voice comes out very quiet before she clears her throat. “Maybe I’m not the one who needs to hear it from you anyway.”
Before Saanvi can reply, ashes begin to fall from the ceiling. When Alex continues to stare at her intently and does not acknowledge the swirls of gray filling the office, Saanvi knows this is a Calling, possibly a personal sign. Saanvi’s eyes land on the family photo behind Alex’s desk and stay there even as she thanks Alex once again and leaves.
***
“When did our lives become a soap opera?”
Standing beside Jared in the coffee shop a block away from the Registry, Drea counters, “You don’t get more of a X-Files vibe?”
“Never watched it and you’re avoiding the question.”
“There was a question?”
“You and Saanvi? Since when?”
Drea opens her mouth, but no words come out so she snaps it shut. “Nope.”
“Come on. The way you kept sneaking her glances all throughout dinner, but couldn’t stop staring when she talked about not finding her person yet.” Jared laughs, but it isn’t unkind, more amused, which is worse. “Then there’s the way she wouldn’t look at you at all. A suspicious amount of avoidance if you ask me. Not to mention the white knight act when they all had…y’know.”
“I fucking hate detectives, I swear.”
“When?” Jared presses.
“Before you and I started whatever this is.”
“Was it serious?”
Drea laughs, but it doesn’t chase the bitter taste from her tongue. “No. She’s still in love with her ex. Sound familiar? Sorry if you thought you were special, Vasquez.”
Jared doesn’t continue his very interrogation-like line of questioning. He just sort of looks at her with a slump in his posture and a softness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before the hostage situation at Vance’s home and the line of communication between Michaela and him becoming strained. He really has been working on himself and reconciled with the fact that some of his past behavior in the name of what he called love might not have been the most healthy or what Michaela would want at all.
“If you say so,” Jared says. “Per our agreement, if you ever think you could have something real with Saanvi or whoever else, you let me know. No hard feelings.”
She knows he doesn’t mean to imply this between them isn’t real, but still, ouch.
“Such a romantic, Vasquez,” Drea says sarcastically.
The walk back to the Registry is a quiet one. Jared is quiet, seemingly lost in in his own contemplation. Drea sips at her coffee even though she knows it’s still hot and burns her tongue just to keep the streak of bad decisions alive.
***
Can we meet up?
Saanvi drops her phone on her worktable after hitting send. She prepares for rejection. It isn’t safe. A detective with the Registry should not be having midnight rendezvous with a passenger. Drea could lose her job after all the times she helped them. Seeing her can’t be worth the risk.
And yet Drea sends her an address and very specific directions.
Drea answers the door wearing a very soft-looking sweater and simple lounge pants.
“You look cosy,” Saanvi says, once the door closes behind her. “I think I’ve only ever seen you in detective mode or dressed up for a special occasion.”
“Good. It means I served you my best first. Speaking of, want something to drink? My bar is probably the nicest and most expensive thing in my apartment.”
“Surprise me.”
As Drea goes over to the actual bar in the corner, Saanvi looks around. The apartment is minimalist with touches of Japanese-inspired decor. During one of their late night talks, Drea had mentioned her mom being into feng shui and how she had come home to her apartment completely rearranged to “create better chi flow” with zero warning. Drea has more framed photos of herself with a beautiful thoroughbred horse than people. Through the floor-to-ceiling glass window, the apartment affords a multi-million dollar view of the Brooklyn Bridge. Saanvi briefly wonders if, on lonely nights at the Bird Nest, when she stares at the iconic pathway of opportunity if Drea was staring at it too and just as lonely.
“Here you go.” Drea hands her a glass. “It’s a Nankai Gold Fashioned. A variation of the classic, but with shochu.”
“No cherries?”
“The recipe calls for orange peel…”
“And you’re letting that stop you?”
Drea takes that as a challenge, runs back to the bar and returns with skewers of cherries. They clink glasses and sip on their drinks in companionable silence. Cocktails with Drea are always a lot more complex than the straight hard liquor Saanvi usual drinks alone at her desk.
“Full disclosure,” Drea twists a cherry stem between her fingertips, “if you’re here because you want to hook up, I’m kind of sleeping with someone pretty regularly. It’s not serious, no strings, but if that’s a deal breaker for you, I completely understand…”
And, oh, that feels worse than Saanvi could have ever anticipated.
It’s not just the fact that Drea has someone else. That is not surprising. Drea is beautiful and funny and could live a delightfully normal life if she wanted. Of course someone braver would see that and pursue that. The frankness of it is certainly a shock, but still secondary to the assumption, but what else is Drea supposed to think after the way Saanvi has treated her?
“So you’re assuming I only came over because I want to have sex?” Saanvi asks.
“Assuming is a strong word…”
“Maybe this was a mistake.” Saanvi sets her glass down and starts to leave.
“Wait! I’m sorry. I was just trying to be upfront and responsible and maybe I went a little heavy on the shochu. Then why? Why did you text?”
Saanvi goes still, her back to Drea, feeling her too attentive gaze trying to read her.
“Maybe because I’ve been sleeping at my place of legally ambiguous work and ignoring calls from my parents and I haven’t spoken to another person who isn’t Vance in person all week and I haven’t slept in going on forty-nine hours now.”
“Saanvi.” Drea gently takes her arm and when she doesn’t jerk away, guides her back to the couch. She sits close enough that their thighs touch and does not hesitate to wrap an arm around her, initiating an embrace that Saanvi nearly melts into. “You need to take care of yourself.”
“There will be time for that if we succeed in beating the Death Date. Until then, what’s the point if I won’t be here much longer anyway?”
“I mean, if you really think about it, none of us are getting out of this alive, Death Date or Chaos of the Unknown. So please stop treating yourself like an after thought. If you’re so sure there’s no time, maybe you should be thinking about what you can do with the time you do have.”
“Like race over here and lure you into having sex? Again?”
“I’m not too proud to admit it doesn’t take much to lure me into sex. I was thinking more along the lines of—talking to your parents. Sometimes we just have to accept they aren’t going to understand, but they still love us regardless. Tell the person you’re in love with that you’re still in love with them.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Dr. Bates came to Cal’s rescue. Gave me a bit of a look, which is understandable. And telling. I know the circumstances aren’t simple or ideal, but if the feelings are still there…”
Saanvi slumps back. “It’s just like my life that you’d both try to pawn me off on each other.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I think I’m always going to love Alex and I’m grateful for her help, but I’m not the same person I was back then. I surely didn’t believe in a higher power or divine consciousness or anything other than scientific possibility. I’m not really sure I know who I am anymore and I’m terrified the Death Date will come before I have a chance to figure that out.”
“You should, Saanvi. I may not be a genius, but I know you should. And I know I want to help you get there. In the interim, I’d like it a lot more if you tried to get some actual sleep.”
“Did you know that when we’re in an unfamiliar environment, we sleep with only half of our brain at a time like dolphins, whales, some birds do and that’s why we wake up easier?”
“Okay, my guest room has to be more comfortable than the couch you sleep on in your secret lair. C’mon. Host’s orders.”
“Thank you, Drea. This was…illuminating.”
“You’re illuminating,” Drea says in that teasing way that could be misinterpreted as flirty, but Saanvi knows it’s mostly just her way of lightening the mood. “I probably need sleep too.”
When Drea shows her to the guest room, Saanvi lingers in the doorway and on impulse, squeezes Drea’s hand. She squeezes right back.
“Stay until I fall asleep?” Saanvi asks.
Drea settles on the other side of the bed. “Want me to tell you a bedtime story?”
“I want to know your thoughts on god…”
***
The day all of the passengers have a simultaneous Calling all around the world, prompting the order to detain every passenger on US soil, Saanvi’s phone goes straight to voicemail.
***
“You said to call this number if I’m ever in trouble, right?”
“Saanvi?” Drea jolts. “Finally! I’ve called you like a million times today!”
“I’ve been arrested and booked. This is my one phone call.”
“Shit.”
“Vance said he’s calling his lawyer, a Mr. Davis, who’s going to represent the both of us. He says he has a contingency plan if this ever were to happen.”
“Okay, um.” Drea fights for her thoughts to quit spiraling. “At this point you can’t be removed from the county of arrest and you should be allowed three phone calls. Sit tight. I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you.”
Before Drea can look into the lawyer, her phone rings again.
“Detective Mikami speaking.”
“Detective Mikami, it’s Davis, Saanvi Bahl’s lawyer. I hear you’re a big fish in the Registry. I’m on my way to the precinct now and when I get there I’m going to propose my client, Miss Bahl, be considered for a confidential informant. She will trade information about the criminal activity regarding other 828 passengers and in exchange, the charges against her will be dropped.”
“No, Saanvi is too loyal. She’ll never go for that.”
“She doesn’t have many options. It’s what Vance thinks is best. A whole lot of shit is about to drop on his head and between you and me, it’s not looking good. We spoke. He’s prepared to take what’s coming for him, but if Ms. Bahl can scrape by with some semblance of a life, he’ll take it as a win.”
That’s sort of…sweet.
“It would be nice to have you in the ear of your superiors and the prosecutor’s office, saying how useful she can be to the cause. Can you do that?”
“I’m not high enough on the food chain to pull strings to guarantee it.”
“But you’ll try?”
For Saanvi?
“I’ll make some calls.”
“That’s all I can ask. Good luck.”
“You too.”
So Drea makes calls, sure to sound like an eager detective that’s found the golden opportunity to get what the Registry wants. The Stones are in the wind and if she can convince someone that Saanvi is the key to bringing them to justice… It’s a raw deal, especially if it requires Saanvi to act on behalf of the Registry against the 828 community, her family and friends. If they do, Drea is going to make sure she runs point on every operation. Like hell she trusts anyone in that hell hole other than Vasquez.
Jared ducks into Drea’s cubical and whispers, “Saanvi won’t take the deal.”
Of course she won’t. What did they expect really?
“Let me get in there and talk to her,” Drea says.
Jared gives her a look, the be smart look. Under normal circumstances, Drea would probably roll her eyes and make a snide comment, but there isn’t much room for humor in their new normal. They aren’t even living in the ultra oppressive times of yesterday. It appears the government has declared an outright war against the passengers of 828.
“You’ve got five minutes,” Jared says on the short yet anxiety-filled walk to the interrogation room where Saanvi is being kept.
Drea glances up and down the empty hallway before stepping inside. The sight of Saanvi in prisoner garb and handcuffs nearly knocks the wind out of her and not in the usual way seeing Saanvi does.
“Of course.” Venom drips from Saanvi’s words. “You.”
Drea clocks the camera in the room from just the corner of her eye, straightens her emotionless detective mask and sits at the table. “What’s the holdup, Dr. Bahl?”
Saanvi laughs, maybe at the question or the necessary formal address. “The Registry expects me to provide information and assistance in finding the Stones, turning them and other passengers over and providing evidence to win cases against them. If that’s the price for the benefits of the bargain, I’d rather not accept.”
“It’d be a shame after your lawyer fought for the deal to be as balanced as possible so you don’t have to take too great of a risk for too little benefit,” Drea argues. “They’re willing to drop all of the charges against you. Do you know how rare that is?”
“Vance wasn’t offered the same.”
“Vance isn’t a passenger. What happens to him is out of the Registry’s jurisdiction. I can’t help him, but I can help you. If you’re asked to provide information or perform certain actions, I’ll be running point. I’ll be with you the whole way from here on out.”
“It doesn’t feel right.”
“Maybe not, but it’ll buy you time.”
“It’s hard to say what can buy me time anymore…”
“Maybe, but I can promise you’re more useful in the community than in a penitentiary.”
“It’s rude to use my flawed need to be useful against me.”
“But effective.” Drea flashes a smile and wonders if hers is the first friendly face Saanvi has seen in days. “So what do you say?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Don’t take too long,” Drea says, softening her voice just a little. “My superiors are impatient as is.”
Drea’s eyes drop to Saanvi’s hands chained to the table. She knows better. She fucking does. There’s a reason she was cold to Michaela when other people were around and they had to talk via coded messages on post-its and never linger for too long when there’s a security camera watching. As much as she wants to reach out and squeeze Saanvi’s hands, Drea settles for sliding her foot beneath the table until the toe of her boot bumps Saanvi’s. Saanvi gives her a toe-bump back.
***
“So, I’m guessing you aren’t coming over tonight,” Jared says, not asks. Leaning against the ugly hallway wall, Drea nods even though it isn’t totally necessary. He just gives her one of his tired smiles. “You know what, I’m kind of relieved I was your second choice too.”
“That’s not as comforting as you probably think it is.”
Jared laughs. “You know, I think there are actual laws against dating your CI.”
“Fuck you, Vasquez.”
“Been there, done that, Mikami.”
Drea had written off the Jared Vasquez footnote in her story as no strings attached from the very beginning, but he was a steadying presence in a really stressful and lonely chapter of her life. Now, in this chapter about to be written, she might even consider him a friend.
***
When all is said and done, Saanvi Bahl is an official CI of the Registry Office and free to go. Her parents are probably worried sick. Last she heard from her lawyer, Vance hadn’t made bail. On her way out, Saanvi overhears a pair of cops saying the entire Stone family hasn’t been seen or heard from. It’s like they vanished. To make things worse, Saanvi’s phone had died in Evidence.
“Need a ride?” Drea asks, falling in step beside her about a block away from the office. “You could probably use a real meal first. My treat.”
“I really don’t want to be out in public and I don’t want to go home either…”
“Takeout at my place?”
“Is this appropriate behavior, Detective Mikami?” Saanvi asks.
Despite her question, when Drea opens the passenger side door, Saanvi gets in without another word. They’re on the road before Drea confesses, “No, this is probably inappropriate behavior, but if you ask me, so is the order to detain every passenger on US soil and trying to use you to lure out even more. But you aren’t rotting away in a cell or awaiting a reality TV kangaroo court of a trial. I meant it when I told you you’re more of an asset in this position than that one and I genuinely believe that.”
“And what happens when I don’t?” Saanvi asks. “What happens when the Registry catches on that I’m more of a help to Ben and Michaela eluding them than landing them convictions? I know what I signed and what I agreed to, but I refuse.”
“I know. I’m not a fucking superhero, Saanvi. I can’t fix any of this for you. Believe me, I would if I could, but I am just one person. I’ve been barely treading water for the last two years. I’m sorry this is what your life is now, but this is the best I could do.”
“Hey.” Saanvi does not hesitate, reaching over and taking Drea’s hand. It’s the best she’s felt in days when Drea does not reject her touch, but entangles their fingers. It feels good to feel when Saanvi has been numb. “You’ve done more than enough for all of the passengers, especially me. I just…don’t know where to go from here and I don’t like not knowing. But you’re right, I shouldn’t take it out on you. For what it’s worth, and I’m sure it isn’t much, I’m sorry this has been your life. And thank you for helping me and having my back. I’m in this position because I was betrayed by yet another person I thought I could trust, but I know that’s not you.”
“You know,” Drea flexes one hand on the steering wheel, “not that I’m suggesting it, but if you asked me to drive and keep driving until we get to, I don’t know, Canada, I would be really tempted right now.”
“You would do that for me? Drop everything and become a fugitive?”
“I think I’ve made it pretty clear that there isn’t much I wouldn’t at the very least try for you, Saanvi. I let you blow out my taste buds with spice.”
“It wasn’t that spicy, you just enjoy being dramatic.” Saanvi smiles at her fondly. “That’s a scary amount of power to give a mad scientist.”
Drea chuckles. “The mad scientist and dirty cop drive off into the sunset. That’s the ending the people want.”
They don’t drive to Canada. They go back to Drea’s and Saanvi takes a shower while waiting for the food and her phone to charge. Saanvi curls up on the couch and Drea flops beside her, in casual clothing again and with news that the Stones are safe. Seeing Drea so relieved, so full of light despite wading through the darkness on a daily basis, Saanvi remembers her speech at Zeke and Michaela’s anniversary, about happiness and hope and finding her person.
To obtain one of three after all the bad decisions and consequences suffered, Saanvi could live the rest of what time she has left in contentment. To obtain all three feels like a fantasy and yet the possibility is right here. When she rests her head on Drea’s shoulder and Drea leans back into her, Saanvi doesn’t say it out loud, but a storm of ash and chaos is on the horizon and she takes solace in the fact that she found this one person to ride through it with her.