Chapter Text
Love, a leash, once whipped, leaves a blemished scar. Complicated, as fragile as glass, an impact can cause it all to come apart. Complex, just like the universal theories swarming in my head I could never answer.
I wonder if it was out of sympathy for the deals I keep, words I say, even though they feel flimsy and fickle, too little to mean anything. I blink at the boy before me, his faraway cerulean irises staring into the unseeable distance outside the academy windows.
“Well, Oyax?” He hums softly, turning to face me, the wind whipping back his pale pearl white bangs sharply, revealing the glint of pained pleading in his eyes. The silence lingered in the air, as a lump slowly formed in my throat. How do I answer such a presumptuous request? Was it really going to work if we were to handle it this way? Would it help him? The million questions left me speechless, staring dumbly back at the boy before me.
Catching sight of my reaction, his eyes lowered bashfully, before he broke out into a nervous laugh. I could tell he was trying his best to sound casual, to mask the intensity of such a request. His hands flapped weakly in the air, his lips curling to make smiles that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I know it’s a lot, and I may seem cowardly this way, for not being able to face it, or say it, or do anything, to even come up with such an incredulous plan, but…” I pursed my lips, my heart squeezing at how he was struggling to get the words out of his mouth.
“...Please help me.” The attempt to accept if he was rejected seemed to evaporate into thin air, now replaced with a fresh layer of desperation. His words were no longer beating at the bush, it was stabbing right through it, right through the roots and to the underground. A low pang seemed to ring in my ears as his words hacked at my hesitation, my resolve wavering.
I fluttered my eyes closed, releasing a small hiss of a sigh. There was no way to do this, was there? I couldn’t think of a better solution either, and it’s not like I didn’t have ties to his enemy, the main cause of why he was so desperate to do this, combined with another greater factor. Though it would be too much of a long story to talk about that now. I wanted to be a good friend as well, and I was the only one right now who could understand his thoughts clearly.
“I’ll do it, Ryo, don’t worry.” I said, fluttering my eyes open, just as the boy before me jumped with surprise, eyes widening. His smile quivered. Even with my reply, he was still facing such great doubt.
“Really?...” He sounded surprised. Of course he would, I had just agreed to such a risky operation. A small smile lingered on his lips. “...Thanks, bro. I hope I didn’t ask too much of you…but of course I did.” He laughed absentmindedly. His hands patted my shoulders lightly as he walked past, just stopping so our shoulders were slightly past one another’s.
“I’m really sorry. I owe you…so, so much.” His hands slipped from my shoulder to his side. “Guess we have to act like we like one another now, huh?” I nodded, shrugging as I reached to sip my stale banana milk on the table I was resting my hand on.
“I’ll study about gay relationships and do my part.” I promised nonchalantly, raising my head to look into his eyes.
“Great.” The bright smile remained on his face, though it contained many other impurities, the lingering shadow of doubt and worry from this forged relationship. “Hopefully this make her give up.” With a small wave, he swept out of the classroom, hands in his pockets.
The sweetness of the banana milk I was aggressively sipping over time from my packet turned largely sickening the more I drank. Ripping the straw out of my mouth, I tossed it into the nearest trash can, before pinching my nose to release a long sigh.
What did it matter, anyway, to participate into something that would most likely morph into another mistake? It wasn’t like…this was the first.