Chapter Text
Prologue
Kinemi Miki and Ayano Aizawa have known each other since prep school, but were never super close due to Kinemi’s anxiety about her own art progress, and Ayano being focused on trying to pass the Gedai exam on the third attempt. Kinemi looked forward to seeing Ayano come in to class each morning, even if Ayano had a determined scowl most days from failing the first two exams. Ayano had been at Tamabi art school for the previous year, and she was tired of it. Same thing everyday, same critiques she had heard since high school, several individual classes. Ayano wanted more for herself, she wanted to get into Gedai- and she wouldn’t give up. Kinemi loved this about her, and it made Kinemi even more determined to do well throughout her time in prep school and get accepted into Gedai.
Both got accepted into Gedai at the same time, slowly get closer through their classes within the oil painting department. At the start of their summer break, Kinemi and Ayano learn about Gesai, a cultural contest put on by the school, and learns that before they get to enjoy summer break, they must work together to build a mikoshi for the parade competition. They work on the same team for the Mikoshi, aka a portable Shrine, contest, and Kinemi thoroughly overworks herself- They only have a month to build the shrine after all. Ayano is the only person that knows Kinemi well enough by now to tell that she is pushing herself too hard. Ayano checks on Kinemi in the tent, and Kinemi confesses to Ayano that she feels like a failure compared to her brother’s accomplishments in business, so she really needs to win this contest, for herself, her family, and for her team. If Kinemi can make it through volleyball conditioning each year, let alone as captain, she could make it through this competition. Kinemi made Ayano promise not to tell anyone about this fear.
Kinemi is found by Yatora the next day after having been in the tent all night from a heatstroke. She is rushed to the ER while a frightened Ayano is forced to take over for her captain for the day. She cannot let her emotions get the best of her. That is not Ayano Aizawa. Ayano is the person that fails and keeps going until she succeeds. In this very Ayano way, she perseveres and takes control of the work day, maybe even too much of control. She apologizes when she is called out by Tanashi for being so overbearing, and tries to be better, but she can’t stop thinking about Kinemi and what she would do if she was here.
The next morning, Ayano finds Kinemi walking to school. Ayano is shocked that Kinemi is back to school so soon, she obviously hasn’t had any time to rest. Kinemi explains to Ayano that her brother told her that a true leader doesn’t let anything come before their people, so Kinemi needed to go back to school as a soon as she felt able, as to not be a burden. After all, he lived by this rule in his own business, and it never led him astray. He always put his employees and peers first. Ayano was shocked, and almost yelled at Kinemi in disdain. Ayano tells her that her brother is wrong and that she needs to put her health first sometimes. Kinemi apologizes for worrying Ayano, and Ayano thanks Kinemi for coming back. Ayano then apologizes back to Kinemi for not doing her best while Kinemi was out sick due to being so worried. Kinemi is just proud that Ayano was able to help, it didn’t matter what actually got done without her there.
After working so hard on the mikoshi, the group decided to go grab some snacks and a little bit to drink. Everyone was drinking and laughing at tanashi’s apartment, trying to forget about their upcoming competition, but Kinemi wasn’t. Kinemi couldn’t let herself drink, she was overwhelmed about the upcoming parade. Her brother was right. She put herself above her team and this was going to make them lose. Kinemi started to cover Ayano up while she slept, as she had passed out from drinking too much of Tanashi’s Okinawa wine. Kinemi got up and saw that Yatora was taking the recycling out, so she offered to help due her impeccable strength. They talked on their walk to the recycling bin, and Yatora made her realize that her brother may be wrong… maybe she WAS putting too much energy onto other people, maybe she needed to focus herself. And maybe that was okay. It made Kinemi feel good to know that someone else related to her self-sacrificing tendencies, and that someone recognized she was trying hard to please everyone around her. She fell asleep on the floor next to Ayano, being sure that Ayano had the blanket and stayed warm. The next morning, the small team met back up at the mikoshi and got back to work. It was tiring, and everyone was nearing their breaking points, but everyone pulled together. It was going to happen.
After four days of grueling labor and crafts, the parade was finally here. They announced the winning team: the sculpting, traditional music and conducting department. Kinemi was crushed, she started crying immediately. This confirmed it- she would never live up her brother’s standards. To her surprise, the peers on Kinemi’s team circled around her, and thanked her for her work and dedication. They complimented her passion, and explained how their team was the real winner because they had her and Ayano as captains. Kinemi was starstruck. She had never been celebrated like this before, and she had a feeling Ayano and Yatora had something to do with it.
Two more days passed, and it was finally time to destroy the project. Kinemi decided that it was the right thing to do, with the support of Ayano- despite some professors’ meaningless objections. Before she could even think about destroying her work, Kinemi approached Yatora to thank him once again for the kind words he spoke to her at tanashi’s apartment before the competition. It made her feel seen, in a way that allowed her to really feel present for the first time in a while during the parade. Yatora rebuttled stating that it wasn’t him at all, in typical Yatora fashion, instead saying that they did so well because of Ayano and Kinemi themselves. Kinemi began to cry, realizing that her art school peers saw more of the real her than her oldest friend did- her brother. Kinemi decided to herself that with this new found sense of identity and confidence, she would allow herself to drink and have plenty of fun during the upcoming summer break. She was wrong.
Chapter One Begins - Getting the News
After the last day of the festival, the shrine was taken apart, and Kinemi was thrilled that it was finally time to have a two month break from the pressures and stress of art school. She decided that she was going to try and enjoy being young for once, and told herself that it wouldn’t be long until she achieved her goals of graduating and being a full time artist. She could do it, if she could command a team of artists in a huge competition, surely she could be successful working alone. She didn’t need anyone to tell her otherwise, if her friends believed in her, she could to. She picked up her tote filled with the art supplies she had brought for home, careful not to drop or leave anything behind. Her brother had helped her buy these tools with his business profit, that meant a lot to her. Her family in Osaka never had much money, so feeling financially supported by her brother at times was comforting, especially while at an expensive school like Gedai. Ayano ran behind Kinemi, hugging her from behind.
“I’m so proud of you!” She yelled, in her typical confident tone. Ayano was always confident in herself, even when she failed the entrance exam to Gedai twice, even when she was Vice President and had to fill in unexpectedly. Kinemi admired this quality greatly, starting to realize that she recognizes parts of her brother within Ayano. It felt natural to be around her. Kinemi felt supported for who she was.
“Thanks,” Kinemi answered meekly, staring at the ground the entire time. It was rare for Ayano to show public affection like that, let alone at a huge festival. Kinemi knew that Ayano was telling the truth- she WAS proud of Kinemi. Something that Kinemi rarely heard from her own family. She almost didn’t know how to reply at all. She stumbled in front of Ayano, trying to take in the hug. As soon as Ayano pulled back, Kinemi felt her phone vibrate on her bag. Setting the bag down, she fumbled around trying to find her phone. She was used to digging in her bag, she was never the most organized. Shortly, the phone stopped ringing. Kinemi eventually had to dump her tote out on the sidewalk beside Ayano in an attempt to find her phone. When she turned the phone over, she saw a missed call from her mom. Her mom called her all the time to check in, so of course she would call immediately after the festival ended. Heck, she would have BEEN at the festival to watch her daughter march in the parade as captain, but it was just too expensive to ride the almost 4 hour train from Osaka to Tokyo. Kinemi knew this, and never held her family’s financial struggles against them. Shoving the phone in her pocket now, Kinemi kept walking with Ayano. She packed her bag up for a second time, and thought to herself that she would call her mom back once she got settled.
Not four steps later, the phone rang again. Kinemi paused to answer it, being confused as to why her mom was calling back to back. Her mom rarely did this, especially on a day when she knew Kinemi had important school events. The last thing her mother wanted to do was get her in trouble or distract her by being on her phone.
“Hello?” Kinemi answered the phone, sounding confused. Her stomach felt tight for some reason. It didn’t feel like a normal phone call.
“Hi Kinemi.” Her mom was barely able to sound that out. She sniffled over the phone. Something wasn’t right. Before Kinemi could ask what was wrong, her mom blurted it out. “There isn’t any way I can say this that will sound okay… but your brother passed away this morning.”
Kinemi stopped in her tracks. Ayano looked at Kinemi, noticing the weird misconfigured expression on her face.
“He was driving for his business and was hit by a drunk driver. I’m so sorry, Kinemi. I know how close you both were.” Kinemi dropped to her knees. This couldn’t be happening, not to her older brother. Not to the one member of her family that left home and made something of himself. Not now. She was JUST with him after her heatstroke. “We are still processing everything… no funeral arrangements have been made yet. I understand if you need to stay in Tokyo to focus on your studies…” Kinemi cut her mother off.
“I’m coming home!” Kinemi belted out before breaking into tears. How could she not be with her family right now? It was going to be a long train ride to Osaka, but it didn’t matter. She needed her parents and they needed her.
“Oh, great. That’s good to hear. I will let you know as soon as anything is planned, I hope to see you soon. Your father will be grateful you came home. You know we don’t have much, but do you need help with the train ticket? I can give you what I can.” Her mom sounded truthful, although slightly hesitant. Kinemi knew her mom sometimes let her generosity get the best of her, especially towards her children.
“No, Mom. I got it. But….” Kinemi trailed off. She didn’t know how to word her request. “Can Ayano come with me? I don’t know if I can deal with the crowds on the train by myself while trying to process all of this.” Ayano looked at Kinemi, watching her cry. Ayano knew Kinemi cried often, but this was different. Where was Kinemi taking her to? Why?
“Ayano? The friend from prep school? Of course she can. Let me know when you plan to leave Tokyo, I can have a meal ready at the very least” her mom replied earnestly. She really did want to meet Ayano. Her daughter had spoken of Ayano almost every phone call check in, so she knew this was a good friend to her youngest.
“Thanks, Mom. I love you. I’ll text you when I get on the train, and again when I’m off.” Kinemi sniffled. Her tears had stifled themselves, probably because she realized she was still in public. Kinemi hung up the phone.
“What happened?!” Ayano asked urgently.
“My brother died. He was hit by a drunk driver early this morning. My family asked if I wanted to go home…” Kinemi trailed off again. The tears began to well in her eyes again. This time, the question was harder to ask. It was one thing to ask her mom if Ayano could come home for dinner and the funeral, it was another to ask Ayano herself if she would make the journey during her short summer break.
Before Kinemi could even ask the question, Ayano answered it.
“Can I go with you? I know it’s probably family only, so it’s completely okay if the answer is no. I just, I don’t want you to be completely alone. I know how much you relied on your brother. And besides, I’ve never seen Osaka in person. You know how much I love traveling. Maybe this time I won’t get lost like I did on the sketch outing.” Ayano half smirked, trying to distract Kinemi from the reason they were traveling in the first place.
Kinemi was shocked. Ayano had plans over summer break, she was going to practice her 3D art pieces, like her elephant out of straws. She was going to go shopping around all the new pop ups like the Shein store in Harajuku (mainly to judge and window shop. Ayano knew fast fashion was most definitely NOT art and she would be caught dead wearing it.) She was going to visit Tamabi, and all her ex peers at school to see how their final projects were going. This cut into those plans, the break was short enough, without an excursion to Osaka.
“I would be honored..” Kinemi choked out. “I just don’t know how I’m supposed to do this. Since when does a younger sister have to attend her older sibling’s funeral?” It didn’t seem fair. Now she was the only living descendant of her family name. This was an overwhelming amount of pressure already crushing down on her. Her brother was everything, to everyone. He was the social one, Kinemi was the distant one. Her brother was the successful businessman, Kinemi was the full time passionate artist. He was the one that was supposed to take care of their parents when they got older, at least financially. Now, what? She couldn’t do that on an artists’ salary. She began to cry again, this time seemingly alongside rapid breathing. She had panic attacks, but it had been a year or two since her last one. She had them under control, her brother had helped her. That was in the past now, too.
“It will be okay. Take some deep, slow breaths.” Ayano took hold of Kinemi’s hand. She brushed Kinemi’s bangs out of her, now very wet, eyes with her other hand. “Let’s go home and get our things together, okay? You can sit on your bed and tell me what you need to pack/where things are. I can get everything together and we can get to the train station by 8am tomorrow morning. Does that sound okay? I’ll sleep at your place, I’m sure you rather be around familiar things right now. Plus, you live closer to the train station anyways. Does that sound like a plan?” Ayano began to tug Kinemi towards the direction of their apartments. “We just have to run by my place first so I can grab the essentials. I don’t want to be in Osaka without enough clothes! It’s supposed to rain a lot there.”
“It does.” Kinemi replied quietly. The two began walking to Ayano’s apartment. They walked without words, Ayano realizing that Kinemi probably didn’t want to try to talk over her silent tears. Kinemi followed Ayano, grateful that Ayano still had her hand. It was hard for Kinemi to see over her tears without straying into the road on accident or getting lost. That’s the last thing she needed right now.
They got to Ayano’s building and wandered inside. There were so many stairs to get up to Ayano’s floor. Kinemi was out of breath from crying, but she followed Ayano’s gentle lead. Once they were finally at Ayano’s apartment, Ayano sat kinemi down on her bed.
“Do you want any hot tea while I pack? Or a blanket? I will be fast, I promise.” Ayano smiled patiently.
“No, no, I’m really okay. I don’t know if I could stomach anything to begin with right now. But.. if you have the blanket..” Kinemi’s eyes met Ayano’s. Without saying anything, Ayano turned and scurried to her living room. She came back, she had two blankets. One was smaller, and seemed hand-knit. The other blanket was larger and looked to be made of fleece. Kinemi studied them both for about 10 seconds, and carefully reached for the seemingly handmade option. Ayano giggled.
“Ya’ know, I made that blanket in middle school. Before I knew I wanted to do oil painting.” Ayano whispered. Kinemi felt the blanket in her lap, now with a completely different level of appreciation.
“You made this? You can knit? I’ve always wanted to learn more about hands on, textile art… I thought it would be useful to make my own clothes as a kid, hahah.” Kinemi let out a small laugh, the first one she had allowed to pass through her throat all day… since the phone call with her mother.
“Yes, though I don’t do it as often as I used to. You obviously understand, Gedai is tedious and time consuming. If you want, I could try to teach you while we spend time in Osaka over summer break. I’m sure we would have plenty of time after the funeral.” Ayano replied.
“I would love that. I think it would be a great way for me to distract myself while I’m there, too. Could I… Could I bring this with us to Osaka?” Kinemi lifted the blanket a little so Ayano would know what she meant. “If it’s sentimental, I can leave it of course.”
Ayano contemplating it for a few seconds, before letting out another small smile.
“Of course you can. Do you want to use it for a knitting reference or something? Ayano giggled again at herself. “It’s not like it’s the best starting point, hahah. I was 13 when I made it. I can already see certain loops on the blanket that look wrong or poorly knitted. I would hate for you to learn the wrong thing and ruin so much yarn of yours.”
“No, I want to sleep with it, I think.” Kinemi looked at the floor. “My brother was my best friend… he brought me so much comfort when I went through things I couldn’t control like this. I just.. I don’t know what to do without him here. The only other thing that can bring me any relief when I’m overwhelmed, like at school, has been you. I’m worried my parents won’t let us share a room at my house once we’re there, and I really don’t want to sleep alone. I’m afraid of the dreams I will have without my brother here anymore. I’m so scared to go home.” Kinemi started to sob again. Ayano approached kinemi and took her cheek in her hand.
“Of course you can sleep with it. If it brings you that much comfort, you can keep it indefinitely, honestly. It just gets thrown on the back of my couch everyday, anyways. I rather it go to someone who would actually love it.” Ayano lifted Kinemi’s face so that her eyes were no longer on the floor, but this time facing Ayano. “Let me hurry up and get this done, and we can get to your place by dinner, okay? If you want me to pick up any groceries on the way just let me know and we can stop. You know I can’t cook as well as you, but I AM a great su chef.” Ayano winked. “Besides, you need to eat something today. You can’t go without food while you’re grieving.” Kinemi knew this, but it felt nice to have someone ensure and acknowledge it. Ayano always picked up on and recognized small things like that. Kinemi nodded silently, as if she was giving Ayano permission to leave her side in an attempt to start packing up for the big trip.
For someone with so many clothes, it didn’t take Ayano long to pack. Her apartment was so organized… Kinemi had been here before, but not like this. Ayano had her closet separated by colors, and seasons. Summer clothes were presented in the front, and her winter clothes were carefully folded or hung towards the back. Red first, then orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black, gray, brown, whites. She didn’t have a lot of colorful clothes, but kept them separated just the same. Kinemi waiting on Ayano’s bed while she ran around the apartment throwing things into her big suitcase. It seemed to take less than 10 minutes in total.
“Done!” Ayano yelled again. She walked from her bathroom into the bedroom. “I just had make sure I had everything out of here too. Are you ready to head to your place? Did you decide on anything for dinner?” Ayano began to pull her suitcase towards the door. It was a struggle to watch. The suitcase shifted from side to side, as if packed unevenly, and it looked like it hit every little object in its path.
“Let me take that.” Kinemi suddenly said, grabbing the suitcase handle from Ayano. “I need something to focus on anyways, you’ve done so much for me today already.” Ayano let Kinemi take it. It did Kinemi well when she felt like she was helping people, like it takes the immediate tension off of her for a little bit. Ayano was glad to do anything that helped kinemi feel even the littlest bit better. “And no, I don’t think I’ll be able to eat anything for dinner after all. But if you want me to prepare something for you before our journey, please just let know your preference! I have teas at home, leftover curry, some sweets, plenty or rice-“ Ayano cut Kinemi off.
“Leftover curry is fine. I don’t want to bother you with any extra work today. I can make my own tea too, just show me where it is after we get there.” Ayano replied, watching Kinemi now carry her suitcase down the stairs that never seemed to end.
“Are you sure? I really don’t mind. You’re my guest after all.” Kinemi retaliated.
“I’m sure.” Ayano smiled again and tilted her head. She seemed to be gesturing to imply it’s no bother at all, but Kinemi is used to providing for others even when she is in distress.. so this is new territory for her. Kinemi wanted to provide for Ayano more than anything.. …because she was her best friend…..right? Why was this revelation causing her stomach to twist and churn so oddly? Why did it make Kinemi’s cheeks hot? She wasn’t crying again, at least yet that she noticed. It had been a very stressful day, though. It made sense that Kinemi would go through different feelings she wasn’t familiar with today.
They kept walking together, Kinemi ever so slightly trailing behind Ayano. Ayano knew where Kinemi’s apartment was, she had been there many times to share tea and work on art projects together. After a good 20 minutes or so of walking, (it felt like they would never get to Kinemi’s place), they finally arrived. It wasn’t near as big as Ayano’s apartment, and it didn’t have near as many stairs in the building. It was one big bedroom instead of walled off rooms, with a lofted bed that seemed to rest on top of the closets. There was a desk on one wall, a small dresser across from that, and a tiny bathroom with an open sliding door. The kitchen counter and sink were in the main room between the closets and small dresser, with very minimal cabinet space for storage. A mini fridge sat beside the small counter. This student apartment was built for maximum efficiency, definitely not for comfort or pleasure. There wasn’t even a couch, but rather one singular chair to rest. Ayano didn’t mind. This was Kinemi’s place after all. Ayano walked in first, with Kinemi holding her suitcase and the door. Ayano carefully sat her shoes near the front door as to respect Kinemi’s small space. Kinemi carried Ayano’s suitcase into the apartment behind her.
“Where would you like me to set your suitcase until we leave in the morning?” Kinemi asked, still holding Ayano’s bag in front of the door. Ayano shuffled around and looked around the tight space.
“You can just put it by the chair! I’m sure I’ll end up falling asleep in it sooner or later tonight. I brought extra blankets for myself too. It’s been a long day. Are you feeling okay? I understand if you want to go to sleep early tonight to prepare for tomorrow’s travel. I’m going to reheat some of the leftover curry and maybe have some tea before I get settled in. Would you like some curry or tea as well while I make mine before you head to bed?” Ayano asked, with a curious and eager expression. Kinemi didn’t know what to say. She had never been taken care of like this before, let alone by a friend. Her own brother encouraged her to return to school immediately following a heatstroke, just because he rather her do things for herself than be a caretaker any longer. “I brought some of my bath accessories as well, if you think a nice bubble bath may help? Like, for example, I have a couple oils, some bath fizzies…” her voice trailed off. Maybe she was being overly helpful and trying to insert herself into Kinemi’s grief. Ayano backed up briefly. “Anyways. Just whatever you want,” Ayano hesitantly smiled sweetly again and turned to the fridge and began to pull out the curry.
“I would actually love a bubble bath. My mom used to run them for me when I was a lot younger and was going through a hard time. If you really don’t mind, that would be amazing. Do you think you could sit in the floor while I soaked in the bath? I really don’t want to be alone. I know you’re barely one room over, but…” Kinemi looked at Ayano to try to read her reaction on her face. It looked confusing. “If that makes you uncomfortable obviously I can call you via my phone and we can just talk on the speaker from one room to another! That’s okay with me!” Kinemi was worried now that she messed everything up. She had weird feelings regarding Ayano all day that made her look pushy, it was already enough that she made Ayano come with her to Osaka to skip her summer break. Now she was asking Ayano to be in the room while she was NAKED? It was too much. “Actually, nev-“
Ayano interrupted her again. “Can I actually take a bath with you? I just realized I haven’t had the chance to shower today after breaking down the mikoshi, and I feel gross.” Ayano nervously smiled at Kinemi, her words having left Kinemi completely speechless. They just stared at each other for a good minute, making Kinemi start to tremble.
“Uh…yeah..sure..let me just go make sure it’s clean enough for you. One second.” Kinemi walked as fast as she could to the small bathroom without trying to raise any suspicions that she was too eager to take a bath with Ayano. She didn’t know why she was so happy that Ayano suggested this, she didn’t even know why she was walking so quickly, really. All Kinemi knew is that she wanted to take a bubble bath with Ayano by her side. In this moment, that’s all that mattered. It was a very welcomed distraction, indeed.
TBC