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It’s cruel that it starts with a sweet moment. That person, the same one Nightingale had come to this place with, yet also not the same one. A smile on her lips as she reaches out a hand towards Nightingale, beckoning her to come.
“Where have you been?” asks the person, her voice slightly playful as she takes her hand, leading her further and further into the garden in front of them.
Nightingale could not answer; how could she? After all, it’s not something she has the answer to. Hence, all Nightingale does is stare at the person next to her, her feet following every step the person makes.
She can’t deny it. Something about this feels odd. Her heart is beating fast, not only because she longs to hold the other woman’s hand as she does at the moment but also because something about it makes her feel dread. A voice inside her warns that she's being swayed into somewhere she should not be. However, it only puzzles her even more.
After all, this is where Nightingale should be: by her lover's side.
Still, it’s strange. Every step she takes feels too light, to the point where it feels like she’s floating. Every time she opens her mouth, a sudden force pushes deep inside, making it impossible for her to say anything. And this person next to her, her lover, Chief of MBCC, something about her feels wrong.
As if sensing her increasing fear, Chief stops and looks at her. The woman gently tucks some stray hair behind Nightingale’s right ear, fingers touching her earring just before she starts moving them along her jaw.
To her surprise, Chief does not ask her if there’s anything wrong. Instead, as if knowing exactly what’s on her mind, the woman sighs.
“My love, you worry too much.”
With the sentence comes the smile again. Something that Chief has not given her ever since the accident, just like the gentle and understanding tone.
That’s when Nightingale finds the answer to her question. One that causes her to take a couple of steps back from the woman as if a touch alone could send the most deadly poison to her skin.
She finds her voice back.
“You are not real,” Nightingale states, her voice cowering slightly at the end of her sentence.
“Yet, I am the one you have been looking for.” Chief answers. “Am I not?”
While the woman is not the same Chief as the one whom Nightingale fell in love with, it would be a lie to say that this is not the kind of person she has missed so much that it feels like there’s a gaping hole in her heart. Because deep inside, Nightingale wishes the love of her life was still the person. However, the illusion has been broken. The person might look at Nightingale like she hung the moon, but this Chief is not the person that Nightingale loves. Merely a flawless copy that somehow has every means to keep her away from the one she truly loves. Still, she could not find the courage to say that the person was wrong.
“I can not stay with you,” she says, stopping for a moment before saying the things that she never got to say before. The parting words that she always wished to say before everything became a forgotten past is what comes next from her mouth, “I wished I could be that person for you, one that you can truly count on to always be by your side. But I am not… I could not be that person for you.”
Then tears started to form at the corner of her eyes, and Nightingale found herself in the person’s embrace; between her sobs, Nightingale speaks once more, “I do not wish to part with you. But I have to. I… have to leave. I’m sorry…”
“It’s alright.” Every syllable of the person's voice mimics the one she needs to hear it from the most perfectly. She softly pats Nightingale on the back, letting Nightingale cry properly for the first time. “I understand.”
Nightingale does not know what to say to that. After all, this person is not the one she actually needs to hear it from. Yet, Chief repeats the word over and over again next to her ear. Enough to slightly mend the pain inside her heart.
The moment felt very quick the second it ended, and this started with Nightingale feeling herself getting pulled, forcing the two of them to break their tight hold on each other. When that happens, Chief does not try to keep her from going. It’s rather strange because a part of her wishes that the person would.
And when she finally reaches the ground outside the illusion grasp, a gloomy scenery of an abandoned carnival lies in front of her eyes instead of the garden. From the corner of her vision, she spots Chief quickly making her way through by slipping through the gaps between the team that has just rescued Nightingale. This one is the real Chief. Not the imitation that she has just met. This is the person that has completely forgotten everything about her- about them.
Yet, the woman’s face latches with worry as she kneels to meet Nightingale’s face, hands moving to drape the towel in her hands around Nightingale’s body.
“It’s alright.” That’s what Chief says as she uses her thumb to wipe away the excess tears on Nightingale’s face. Then suddenly, she pulls Nightingale into a hug, uncaring about the people around them that are probably watching, nor the fact that Nightingale has just taken a dip into a lake and still drenching with water.
“It’s alright now,” Chief says one more time, voice slightly quivering.
Nightingale nods, letting her head lean forward so she can rest her forehead on Chief’s shoulder. Chief is probably saying the word to comfort herself more than to comfort Nightingale. However, that alone is enough.
Even if that perfect life she dreams for them is tainted, it is not too late for them to start over.
After all, not all is lost when they still have each other.
- Fin -