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It had been an Extremely long, disturbingly inconvenient day for Midousuji Akira.
Skin burning with rage, he returned home on his De Rosa, the chilling wind serving the unavailing ability to cool down his nerves. He secured the road racer to the bike rack beside his home with movements more violent than necessary before he stormed inside, teeth clenched tight enough to splinter bone.
As he made his way inside, he was greeted by the shining face of his otaku boyfriend, who already seemed to have picked up on the thick atmosphere of Akira's temper.
He wasn't in the mood. He knew that Onoda wanted to talk about each other's days, and probably would cloy him with his blinding smile, while sliding some moe anime disk into the dvd player to "unwind" to. Now wasn't the time. He felt as if flames were lapping up across his frame, his body feeling temptingly capable of upending the nearest vulnerable object.
"Welcome home, Akira-kun." Onoda gently addressed.
All Akira could manage was a susurrous hiss that slipped between the spaces of his teeth. His brows furrowed as he averted eye contact from his lover. Tossing his messenger bag to the corner of the hallway, he closed the door from behind his back. He itched to avoid his partner's presence, didn't want to hear him bubble over with useless chatter. However, the silence spilled from Onoda and suspended in the thick air until Akira's ears throbbed.
He tried to seek closure in the bedroom in order to brood over his current feelings, but the small otaku tailed him close to his heels, and sat next to him in his chosen spot of attempted peace. "Have a bad day?" Onoda's demure voice finally broke cleanly through the pounding heavy silence, and Akira was sure he felt a vessel in his brain twitch.
"Leave me alone."
"Ah- ... O-Okay." Onoda stuttered. He closed his mouth, then opened it again, but apparently thought better of it because his lips pressed back together, and he quietly exited the room.
Akira scoured on the peace that now existed around him, savoring it's bitterness. He leaned back trying to piece together his thoughts, but the more he focused, the less sense his feelings made. Logic couldn't explain why he felt the way he did when a mere zaku from the university's cycling team mentioned his fairly adorable living companion, or the way his skin crawled when he questioned himself over his decisions regarding the climber who had somehow developed a relationship with him. Rumors had spread to quickly, and he was repulsed every time someone mentioned Onoda, or whispered aside in bits of unwanted gossip. Why did he agree to let Onoda so close to him? His past self would have doubled over laughing himself into tears without a second thought if he saw himself now. Had he really become this soft?
"Disgusting..." Akira cursed and bit down on the phrase, his fingers gripping at the ends of his pants until the protrusion of each digit turned white. This whole situation was putrid. A new wave of irritation brandished his milling mind. Revulsion rose in the back of his throat like bile and he wanted to gag.
A timid knock rapped at the door and Akira stared holes into it. After a moment, the knob turned, and Onoda stepped in, braving the unwelcome look he received. His expression was laced with apology, yet darkened with determination.
Frustrated, Akira turned and flung himself ungracefully onto the bed, pressing his face deep into a pillow in attempt to drown out the intruding presence. He could hear nothing but the soft footsteps coming and the weight of the mattress shifted as Onoda seated himself beside him. "I made some Eel." His voice yet again pierced the droning sound of empty air.
"I'm not hungry." Akira tried to say through the pillow, but it only came out as muffled whine. This was so gross, he began to hope the mattress would open up and envelop him out of existence. He could hear the sound of the sheets rustling as Onoda scooted closer, and after a moment, a soft hand placed itself on his shoulder blade. What is he doing? Why can't he just stay away?? Why can't-
Then Sakamichi whispered his name.
Akira stiffened as he felt the sensory nerves across his back pull an involuntary chord, and suddenly warmth was creeping up towards his neck. Tiny little waves of unwelcome pleasure reverberated through his spine and accumulated into the back of his brain. Before he could realize it, the flames and anger that he felt were being broken down and dissipated as if it were sound to white noise.
Sakamichi gently began to stroke the fabric of his shirt, his small fingers traced the protrusion of Akira's spine, counting each vertebrae. "I love you, Akira." He soothed, stretching the whisper into a low hum that almost seemed to purr.
At that sound, the intensity of Akira's felicity increased tenfold. Each little noise that Sakamichi made with his murmurous voice, or the light touches as he feathered his fingers absently over his clothes. This... He hated this feeling. It disarmed him, turned his brain into soft, useless matter, keeping him from constantly analyzing, calculating, thinking. He hated it.
Akira groaned and made an attempt to fight the sensory overload by heaving body upwards. He tried to glare at the climber, but his eyes lidded over, and his weight was much heavier than he remembered.
Sakamichi simply smiled and traced his finger over the shell of Akira's ear, and carded them through the ends of his raven hair. "I really do... It makes me sad to see you this upset." A wave of emotion flickered over his cobalt eyes, as he tried to hide it with a smile.
Akira could no longer find it in himself to keep away the feelings that threatened when he saw the semblance of this bright smiling creature hurting because of him. Before his incoherent mind could register his own actions, he was leaned over and touched his forehead to the climber's collar bone. He could hear the smile in Sakamichi's tiny sigh of relief. Warm arms draped themselves over Akira's shoulders, and smiling lips pressed themselves into the top of his head.
The contact sent new ripples of sensation, both hot and cold, down his spine. He felt reality sinking into his own self indulgence, as he savored this moment, devoid of anyone else's judgement. It made sense now. This is why he had lowered his defense and let this small man into his life. He loved Sakamichi.
This person made his senses well up with uncharted, new emotions. He couldn't explain, nor ignore them. The climber's patience, and apt ability to heal with support had been a priceless gift.
"Sssakamichii..." Akira slurred, struggling through his cognitive static. Onoda continued to play with his hair and smooth his fingers over his skin.
Vertigo kicked in, and he heavily slipped away from consciousness in the safety of Onoda's lap. His dreams consisted of nothing. Quiet, peaceful, tranquil. The next thing he could register was the morning light bleeding yellow over the bed sheets, and the soft, sleeping breaths of his lover curled against him.