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Tsukasa Tenma's life was a never ending show.
It was a never ending show because Tsukasa Tenma himself was an eternal character. No matter what happened in the world, Tsukasa's character would remain. Not Tsukasa himself; just his persona.
Overtime, he's come to believe that he was always a character, but Tsukasa does suppose there was a point in time where he considered himself simply human.
But that human had no purpose. He couldn't cure Saki's illness, he couldn't give his parents money so they wouldn't have to spend all their time working, he couldn't even bring joy to himself. That Tsukasa wasn't cheerful or entertaining- he was bland, a white sheet of paper wrinkled with tear stains.
The old Tsukasa was useless. His existence benefitted nobody. So he was replaced.
Tsukasa created a new him, a Tsukasa that worked his hardest to make everyone happy and who never stopped smiling. Nothing like the old Tsukasa that whined and sobbed, wishing to shed his duty as the perfect son and fall asleep forever.
Sure, the first Tsukasa lingered on, sometimes breaching his newly made persona with pitiful cries of "please look at me," and "it hurts,", but new Tsukasa was able to stamp that out quickly. Soon enough, the original Tsukasa died, leaving the second Tsukasa to focus solely on his performance for humanity.
And everybody was so much happier with this new Tsukasa! Saki stopped worrying about him, his parents stopped worrying about his horrid mental state worsening Saki's health and just in general, teachers, classmates and everyone stopped concerning themselves with the sad little boy that had quietly disappeared.
Once he reached high-school though, Tsukasa began to worry. His character no longer seemed to charm strangers, instead deterring them. Even his junior, Toya's friend avoided him, saying he was weird!
Of course the insults and ostrichization didn't hurt him; all hurt had died with the first Tsukasa. But if he was failing to make his audience smile, then that meant this character was useless too.
Tsukasa started to consider scrapping this persona and making a new one when he spotted an opening for jobs at the local amusement park, Phoenix Wonderland. And not just any job- they were looking for actors.
This was perfect! It was just the chance the second Tsukasa needed to prove that he could still succeed.
And he did. Despite the official rejection, he had been recruited by Emu to join her team. Her team that consisted of only him and her.
But that was fine! It was better than fine! A good actor had to be able to work under any conditions. And once more, Tsukasa excelled. He gathered members for the troupe- well, one member and one robot, but they made it work.
And then it didn't work. Robo Nene failed them, but more importantly Tsukasa failed them.
As the robot fell onto him and pinned him to the stage the audience seemed to melt away, then the lights, then the robot until it was just Tsukasa trapping himself. Whether it was his first, useless self holding back his better self from stardom or his new, cutthroat self suffocating his original self until he withered and died, Tsukasa had ruined everything.
He was numb. And then he was angry. He had taken such care to get rid of that stupid, worthless version of himself and now it came back? At his most important moment? And now it had even infected him, turning his starry smile into hatred, destroying his always-happy persona in just a moment.
Tsukasa hated it. He hated himself.
And the hatred spread. He hated Nene, for bringing him down with her all because of her stage fright- He hated Rui, for putting an actor above the show- He hated Emu for raising his 'dreams', for convincing him that this character of his was anything more than just another reject to be killed off and replaced.
Tsukasa had beaten back his fear until he couldn't even feel it, couldn't feel anything at all. Tsukasa had always put the show before himself. Tsukasa recognized when something was doomed and was nothing more than a burden!
But, he remembered, the others weren't Tsukasa. They weren't even actors. They were just members of the infinite audience observing the never-ending show that was Tsukasa Tenma's life.
So he tweaked his character, making it more thoughtful and caring, less weak, less obsessed with stardom until he was satisfied. And just as he thought, this Tsukasa worked wonderfully at reuniting the troupe of Wonderlands x Showtime.
And they performed splendidly. They put on shows the likes of which had never been seen before, they revived the dying themepark and - as far as the rest of the troupe believed- helped each other overcome their own personal struggles.
Tsukasa couldn't have asked for a better show to star in.
He even allowed his character to become attached. After all, everyone loves a good romance story.
Rui, despite his outlandishness, was clever and competent, more confident than Nene and slightly more constrained than Emu. Tsukasa could appreciate his commitment to a show, he might even say he admired it. And as the troupe leader and director, they had to spend lots of time together to plan out every miniscule detail of every show. These planning sessions not only improved their shows, but raised the level of their relationship as well, scripting not only their fantasy stories but the story of them.
And Rui loved him too. The lasting stares when he thought Tsukasa wasn't paying attention, the fond sighs, the faint, nearly invisible blush he would get when Tsukasa hugged him after a particularly successful show. A good actor had to be able to read their audience's emotions after all.
But it couldn't work because this Tsukasa wasn't made to love or be loved in that deep, intimate way; he was made to be loved in a surface level, superficial manner- he was made to be a star.
This was meant to be nothing more than a fleeting crush, some fun to spice up the story, but Tsukasa already recognized that Rui's care was beginning to morph into worry- worry that went deeper than a troupe leader and his director- and if he dug too deep, Rui could see Tsukasa's life for what it really is: a show.
That concern would lead to Rui not wanting to be an audience member anymore, wanting to be alongside Tsukasa behind the curtains. But that could never happen.
Because the show of Tsukasa Tenma's life would never end.
