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Shane walked inside of the store, tired. He’d taken too many sick days and he needed to go to work.
“Cleanup on Aisle 5,” came through the speakers, and he sighed and headed towards the aisle. He walked down it, preparing to clean up whatever some rude customer had spilled, but instead he found…Pierre?
Pierre was pressed against the wall, and if Shane didn’t know better, he would’ve thought he was kissing it. Then Pierre pulled away and sighed, “I love you, Jojo.”
Ah. Well. This was a new level of what the fuck.
“PIERRE?!”
Pierre looked flustered and shocked, Again what the fuck, “Caroline I can explain!”
“Pierre, we are MARRIED!” she shrieked. “And – you said you were friends. I trusted you. I didn’t ask when you said you were working late, even though the store is in our home. I stayed up when you came inside tired from ‘going out with friends’. I gave you EVERYTHING. And this is how you repay me? By cheating on me with Jojo? With FUCKING JOJO?”
It was at that moment that the wizard came up behind Caroline and kissed her on the cheek. “Hey, Caroline,” he said.
“...Wizard?” she replied, her eyes going wide as she saw the man, “I thought you didn’t go into town on Wednesdays.”
“I, ah, just couldn’t resist seeing my favorite friend!” he tried with a smile.
“Really?” Pierre asked. “What about me? Am I no longer your favorite friend?”
“Um…”
“I—Pierre? With the wizard too?”
“You don’t get to talk!
Then suddenly with no warning the building began to speak, or more like the speakers.
The crackly automated voice said, “Pierre, Caroline please! Tell me you haven’t been seeing this purple cowboy behind my walls!”
“I’m sorry babe!” Pierre said. “I just…he’s so alluring. And he’s kind. And he always is so nice to me. But I love you and Caroline just as much. I can’t choose!”
“I feel the same way,” Caroline agreed wringing her hands before grabbing Pierre’s.
“So do I,” the wizard agreed, he then held Caroline’s hand.
Jojo was silent for a moment. “Are you proposing…”
“We break the bonds of tradition, and embrace love in its truest, freest form. With no boundaries against its beauty,” the wizard said, moving his hand along its bricks,
“So… you’re suggesting polyamory?”
“Yes. Yes he is,” Pierre said, and then the words rushed out of him, “And I agree wholeheartedly!” He stared at Jojo’s gorgeous tiled floors, sparkling in the sun from the windows.
“Babe…I’d love that,” Jojo said.
“So would I,” Caroline agreed.
“Then, shall all in favor please speak your minds and say ‘aye?’” the wizard queried.
Four resounding ‘aye’s sounded, echoing around the store.
Shane stared in incredulity at everything for a solid sixty seconds before taking off his nametag, throwing it on the ground, grabbing a beer from somewhere within the deep pits of his pockets, and walking out of the store.