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Chapter Text

The season begins with a shot of the Island as Chris recaps the previous special. "Last season on Total Drama Island." Trent and Kitty are shown at the beginning of the finale in their cow and chicken hat respectively. Chris blows the air horn and they start running. Then they are shown crossing the planks carrying eagle eggs. Then they are shown running to the finish with Kitty making it there first. The majority of the cast is shown cheering, then Kitty is shown being presented with a giant cardboard check as Chef holds the smaller one she just won. "Trent and Kitty battled it out for 100,000 dollars. In the end, Kitty the selfie loving free spirit won the supersized check." Kitty is shown taking a check from Chris, then Chef is shown ripping up the prize check. Then Chef is shown holding up the case with a 1,000,000 inside "And while we had to let her keep half, she gave up the other fifty thousand for the chance to win, one million big ones!"

Chris is shown bringing the case in, then the cast is shown running to go look for it, then Topher and Gwen are shown looking, then the case is shown in the river, followed by it nearly being eaten by an alligator, then it actually being eaten by a shark. Everyone is shown floating in the water as Chris exits his red helicopter. "With the million smackaroos stuffed into a briefcase, our twenty-two campers plus two interns set off, on the race for the case! Until the case nearly got eaten by an alligator, then was actually eaten by a shark." He chuckled. "Bet you they didn't see that one coming."

Several of the contestants are shown fighting over the case on top of the pool ladder, The case falls and it bounces off of the pool, over the dock and into the water. "Now the sixteen who were closest to winning, have been given the chance to win another million dollars!" Chris chuckles again. "Actually it's the same money."

The recap ends with Chris at an entirely new location. He walks past a trailer and there are several lights around, then he is shown walking around some warehouses. Then an orange screen is shown with a sun and crescent moon pattern at the top as a calender with a large red 42 is shown, as well as a stopwatch. Then an old film reel is shown cycling through the sixteen contestants before ending on a chest of 'riches' the film reel burns and Chris is shown standing in between a couple of trailers with two small wooden benches to either side of him. "They've been instructed to report to an old film lot for a whole new set of challenges. Forty-two days, sixteen castmates, one heck of a lot cash. Welcome to… Total! Drama! Action!

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

A sewer grate with visible smell lines is shown before the focus shifts back to show a wall with a fancy but clearly old sign above a gate. A beaten up bus skids to a stop in front of the gate. We focus on the door of the bus as it opens to reveal Duncan taking a huge whiff of the air. "Man, I missed the smell of the city." He steps off followed by Gwen, then Trent, Ellody and Harold.

Amy and Sammy reach the door at the same time Amy glares at her sister. "Move it Samey I got here first!"

"Actually I'm pretty sure I got here first." Sammy replied nervously, despite this she doesn't back down and the two try to force the other to move aside. They clearly take too long as someone else on the bus pushes them off. Sammy runs smack into Harold, who is messing with a puzzle cube. It breaks from the impact and Harold slams into Ellody knocking her over.

"Sorry Ellody." Harold says, helping her up.

"I appear to be uninjured. A shame about your Rubick's cube though." Ellody noted gesturing to the pieces littering the ground.

Apparently while this was happening everyone else exited the bus as it drove away leaving nothing but the contestants and their luggage behind. Trent is helping Sammy to her feet. "Uh. Where are the crew?" The sweet twin asks

"Perhaps we got off at the wrong stop?" Ellody suggested.

"That rust bucket only had one stop." Noah pointed out.

"Well I'm not sticking around!"Amy scoffed.

"You're really gonna give up a million dollars?" Gwen asked.

"Guess Sammy will have to win for you." Duncan snarked.

Amy groaned. "No way. If either of us is gonna win it'll be me."

"The money is the reason we're all here." Alejandro said.

"Not me! I'm here to compete on Total Drama with the best host ever!" Topher smiled.

"Is he serious?" Scott scoffed.

"Unfortunately." Noah muttered.

"A washed up actor turned reality T.V. Host desperately clinging to fame? Real idol material." Amber remarked.

"You just don't have taste." Topher brushed them off.

"Doesn't take taste to know acting like your idol is beyond desperate." Scott jabbed.

"I'm not taking advice from a villain who didn't even make the merge." Topher retorted.

Alejandro intervened. "Gentleman must we fight?"

"Don't give us that Al. Everyone knows what you're like." Scott told him.

Before Alejandro could retort a honk rang through the air as Chris arrived on a cart with a large trailer attached to it. "Dude it's about time." Duncan said.

"Hop on everyone." Chris told them. Everyone began to pick up their luggage and board the cart.. Of course this was not fast enough for Chris. "Come on people, sheesh. We haven't got all day. This cart is rented by the hour!" Chris began to drive everyone into the film lot.

Noah looked from Crimson to Gwen. "So what's Gwen's label? Crimson is already the goth."

Topher rolled his eyes. "Our labels are already on the official website. I'm the Chris fan, and Gwen's the loner."

"Ah. The loner, that's so different." Noah said sarcastically. Crimson struggled not to smile.

"Shut up!" Chris snapped back at them. He regained his hostly smile quickly enough. "Welcome to the set of Total Drama Action!" A flash transitions takes us to later when the cart is passing in front of all the warehouses. "This season's hottest reality show will be shot here on an abandoned film lot."

"Oh I've always wanted to be in a princess movie!" Ella exclaimed.

"You're not gonna be in the movies. You're gonna be on T.V." Chris told her, adjusting the mirror. "And don't interrupt me, ever!" He flicked the princess Wannabe's nose.

"Sorry, Chris." Ella apologized.

Another flash transition shows that the cart is now driving by a western inspired set. The standard street scene. Complete with bank, saloon, and cacti. "You'll be spending the next six weeks here. Competing in challenges and for rewards. All for the chance to win some monster cash!" Chris continued.

"Whoo! I'm totally hyped!" KItty cheered, taking a selfie of her in front of the western set.

"Shush!" Chris warned. Kitty nodded quietly. "Like last season, one team will win and the other team will watch one of their own make their way down the dreaded walk of shame, to the lame-o-zine." The host rolled up his window. The contestants quickly discovered why as they passed a red carpet leading to a broken down old limo that was backing up badly. Exhaust went straight into the contestants faces making them cough.

"Couldn't you have sprung for a better ride?" Trent asked.

Chris lowered his window. "No. Now since we don't have the outhouse to dump your deepest darkest secrets in," The cart pulled up to a trailer. "You'll dish the dirt in our new makeup confessional!"

(Confessional)

The confessional is a makeup table, with several costumes and hats in the background, Pink curtains are on both sides.

Sammy: This is a lot better than an outhouse. (A hand from off screen offered her a tube of lipstick.) Thanks!

Static

The cart stops at a large tent with a brown striped roof, and a nearby picnic table. "To your left is the crafts and service tent, catered by Chef." Chris explained. The cook ran out of the tent with a cleaver chasing after a racoon. Kitty goes to take a selfie with the scene and Chris guns it, sending the selfie lover back. "If you survive Chef you'll have to make it through our dramatic award ceremony." Chris gestured to a grand amphitheater with two sets of wooden bleachers to either side. Flanking the stage are two gigantic gold statues of Chris. "Where all but one loser will receive a gilded Chris."

(Confessional)

Gwen: The gilded Chris? What a narcissist. Don't get me wrong I still want one.

Static

"You done now dude?" Geoff asked.

"I have an eject button and I will use it." Chris warned.

"Please continue." The party dude said.

Chris continued to drive, this time past a space set, on the moon with a black sky background and blue sphere likely to represent earth. Harold looked at it in amazement. "Is this a dream?" He asked.

Ellody pinched herself. "No. I can experience pain."

"Ellody is right, it's not a dream, but you may soon wish it was." Chris told them. The host continued to drive the cart forward, this time into a huge city set with life sized buildings. "A few months ago, this lot was home to a high budget monster movie. Until the star began experiencing some, umm, technical difficulties?"

"Did they have a mental breakdown of some kind?" Crimson asked, seeming almost excited.

"Actually the star wasn't an actor. It was an animatronic monster!" Chris declared. Several buildings are shown as dramatic stings play in the background. They all have huge bites taken out of them. A fake tree also has a huge bite in it.

"What happened to it?" Gwen asked.

(Confessional)

Gwen: In retrospect I probably shouldn't have asked that question.

Static

A roar loud enough to shake the scenery resounded. Duncan, Kitty, and Geoff can be seen plugging their ears, but it is likely all of the castmates are doing the same. "Come one dudes. He's yanking our chain!" Duncan told his friends. The cart continued forward as loud stomping sounds shook the ground. Out of nowhere a giant green lizard like tail with orange spikes hit into a tower. Chris slammed on the brakes.

"Whoa!" Trent said.

"Dude!" Geoff agreed.

"What is that!?" Amy cried out.

All the contestants are shown looking to either side of the tower that just fell. "Since we're on a film lot." The contestants move back into the cart as Chris continues, the city set shown in all its glory. "This season's challenges will be based on movie genres. The monster movie!" Chris chuckled and made a stupid face. "Duh."

The animatronic monster walked through the shot revealing more of its giant lizard body, specifically part of its hands, stomach, and tail. It was very godzilla like. The contestants gasped. "For your first challenge," Chris continued. "Everyone must get from here to the cast trailers while our state-of-the-art monster prevents your every move." He pointed off screen. "Cher has kindly offered to control the beast."

Cher is shown in a tent with three screens in front of him. He is wearing a mocap suit as he stomps with his hands raised. Back with Chris he continues. "And action!" No one moved as a cricket sound effect played in the background. "Uhh, that means go." Chris told them.

Instantly everyone began to push and fight against each other in an attempt to exit the cart first. Trent threw Amy out of the way, then Harold hit him with a karate chop, knocking him over. He paid for it when Duncan picked him up and threw him behind. "Move it or lose it!" The punk said.

Harold flew past Chris several feet behind the cart. "This is gonna be a long season." The host complained as Harold ran past him to catch up with the others.

/

The film lot is shown from a distance as the focus shifts inward. A flash transition later reveals that the contestants are running over a beach set with a sunset backdrop, sand, sandcastle, and a few umbrellas. We watch as the monster stomps forward, crushing the sandcastle and leaving behind a giant footprint.

Ella and Amy are shown running across the beach. Ella looks back at the monster. "Should we try to talk to it?" She asked.

"Ella, it's not an animal! It's a machine being controlled by Chef! I don't think talking to it will help!" Amy snapped. They continued to run forward only for the monster's giant clawed hand to loom over them.

"Can we try talking now?" Ella gulped. The monster grabbed the two girls before they could do anything.

"Let go of us you dumb monster!" Amy demanded, pounding at the hand clutching them.

"I don't think that's going to help either." Ella sighed. The monster walked them over an orange bouncy castle and dropped them into it. They bounced up a few times. Ella laughed as Amy folded her arms, watching with an unamused stare.

(Confessional)

Amy: Ugh. First challenge and first people out. Bet Trent's laughing it up with Samey right now! At least I've got Ella. I can't imagine how awful competing on this show without her would be.

Static

/

Trent and Sammy are shown running down the beach, as the monster crawls around the dunes, its back and tail the only things visible. The focus shifts back to the couple as they skid to a stop. "How do we find the trailers?" Sammy asked.

Alejandro ran past. "I know not, but might I suggest you continue to run?"

Amber was right behind him, with Topher following. "Yeah, staying put is probably a bad idea!"

Sammy and Trent nodded and ran after them. Behind them Duncan and Gwen are also running. "Hey pasty, you seen Geoff or Kit Kat?"

"No, maybe they already got captured?" Gwen suggested.

(confessional)

Kitty: We probably should have let Duncan know our plan to hide in the confessional so the monster doesn't find us.

Geoff: Yeah, but we were working on adrenaline babe. It's not like we meant to leave without saying anything. We just didn't think to.

Kitty: Besides Duncan's a tough guy. He can handle it. Probably.

Static

/

A two story life sized brown building with a red and white striped awning is in view. The focus shifted down to show Gwen, and Duncan running past. Gwen smirked. "This challenge isn't so bad. What? No explosions, no burning buildings, no bears? I thought this show was supposed to be a challenge."

"Maybe Chris spent the season's budget on hair gel." Duncan snarked back.

In a moment so perfectly timed the staff must have been waiting for it, a large white manor exploded, a simple brown house was burnt to cinder, and the bear inside it roared at them. The bear began to chase after the two, who ran away screaming.

In the tent with the screens Chris turned to Chef, who is still in the mocap suit. "I thought the bear was tranquizled and returned to it's handler?"

"Had one more day left on its contract." Chef replied.

"Nice." The host commented.

/

Inside the confessional Geoff and Kitty are interrupted by a giant clawed monster hand reaching in and grabbing them. The rest of its arm is shown as it begins to walk off with them.

"I guess the confessional wasn't the best hiding spot." Kitty admitted.

"At least we're together babe." Geoff replied as dramatic music mounted in the background. The monster let go and they fell through the air. "I love you!"

"Me too!" Kitty replied, snapping a selfie of the two of them falling quickly. They landed in the bouncy castle and bounced up a couple times.

Ellody runs past the castle on to the beach set, where she runs into Harold hiding very obviously in a green and white striped beach umbrella.

She grabs him out. "Harold, if we want to avoid capture we must move quickly!" She told him as the two began to run.

"If I wanted to, I could run as fast as a prong horned antelope." Harold bragged. "It's-"

"The fastest land mammal other than the cheetah! It's rare I meet another teenager with that kind of knowledge!" Ellody replied excitedly.

"I didn't think you'd know that." Harold smiled. A loud roar knocked the two nerds back, sending them into the sand deeply enough to make holes shaped like them. The monster's giant clawed hand picked them up off the sand. Once again the entire arm is shown as it moves to drop them.

"How much do you think this monster cost? It seems sophisticated enough to be well out of budget." Ellody asked.

Before Harold could answer, the two of them were dropped into the bouncy castle.

/

Back on the beach set, Amber, Alejandro and Topher come to a stop as they stare ahead in shock. They barely manage to dodge the monster's giant tail as it swung around. Noah and Crimson are shown running down the beach past the trio running in the opposite direction. Noah's eyes widened in surprise, but this was not enough as the monster's hand grabbed the couple. It lifted them up as dramatic music played, before the monster held it in front of it's red eye. It widened as the music shifted to a creepier theme. Crimson stared into the eye as if daring the monster to attack her.

In the tent Chef looks taken aback "That girl ain't right."

(Confessional)

Noah: Crimson is the only person I know who can get captured by an animatronic monster and have basically no reaction other than locking eyes to assert dominance. It's really attractive actually.

Static

The monster dropped the two deadpan teens into the bouncy castle. Crimson landed first and caught Noah before he could hit the floor. "Thanks." He smirked.

"I guess we know who takes charge in this relationship." Amy heckled.

"And I'm okay with that." Noah said looking at Crimson with the barest hint of a smile,

/

Sammy and Trent are running through the warehouse section of the lot when a monster roar sends their hair flying back. They try to run away but the monster picks them up. "Well at least I beat Amy." Sammy smiled.

"And at least we got caught together." Trent smiled back.

The monster hand dropped the two of them into the bouncy castle. Amy smirked. "I knew you'd get caught, Samey!:

"Says the first person caught." Sammy smirked. Amy had no retort.

/

Alejandro, Amber, Topher, and Scott are all running through the city set again as the monster stomps after them. It corners them in between a barbershop and a two story brown building. Alejandro glances to the brown building on his left. "Come, we are not caught yet!"

(Confessional)

Amber: And that's one of the many reasons I like Alejandro. Even when cornered he always has some plan to get out of it.

Static

Alejandro grabs Amber's hand and leads the four of them through the door. Unsurprisingly this merely leads them behind the set. Alejandro looks around for any kind of escape, only to find none. "I was hoping this part of the set would lead to a warehouse." He swears in Spanish.

(Confessional)

Amber: Of course those plans aren't infallible.

Static

The monster roared as it's claw reached over the set and grabbed the four of them at once. The now expected sight of the monster's clawed hand as it took them back to the bouncy castle.

"Nice going Al." Scott snarked.

"Oh like you had a better idea." Amber defended.

The monster let them go and all four are shown falling through the air. Alejandro grabs Amber's arm and braces for impact. A nearby Topher narrows his eyes at this. They land in the bouncy castle and bounce back up.

Back at the behind set area the four had just been caught at Gwen and Duncan pop up from behind a fake red car. "Losers." Duncan laughed.

"Good thing we thought quickly." Gwen smiled.

A large green finger poked Duncan in the back. His eyes widened in horror as the monster's face is finally shown., leering over the two of them. It had a giant mouth of razor sharp yellow teeth, two huge red eyes, and three orange fins, one on top of the monster's head, and the other two to either side. Contrasted to the rest of the body, the head was less lizard in appearance and more reminiscent of a sea monster.

It roared at them, and reached out. "Duncan!" Gwen exclaimed pushing him out of the way, thus resulting in only her being taken. Duncan stared after her in shock. Then his eyes narrowed in determination. "Don't worry Pasty, I'll find those trailers." He ran back out onto the set of the city street and began to head down the 'road.' It wasn't long before Chef returned. The shadow of the monster loomed over him. Unlike the first time, he stared the monster down.

"Oh Yeah?! You wanna go?! Then let's rumble!" Duncan said.

Inside the tent with Chef in the mocap suit the cook rolled his eyes. "Kid needs to learn when he's beaten."

The giant monster claw reached down and grabbed Duncan, but the punk pulled out his pocket knife. "No monster is gonna take me down!" With those words he used all his strength and body weight to stab the monster in the arm. it broke though, causing the arm to short out. Duncan retrieved his knife and jumped down to the ground.

(Confessional)

Duncan: This is why I always carry a knife on me. You never know when you'll need one, cutting rope, carving skulls into things, taking down giant animatronic monsters…

Static

In the tent we can see Chef struggling to make the claw pick up Duncan again, but the suit shorts out, and we return to Duncan being picked up the the claw as it shorted out over there as well. Duncan looked smug.

"Nice try, but it's gonna take more than that to bring me down!" Duncan laughed. "Not so tough now are you?!"

"Great work Duncan." Chris said as he arrived. "But you know, you still gotta find those cast trailers."

"No problem."

/

It is still daylight when Chef is shown passing the bouncy castle in his mocap suit. Duncan arrives shortly afterwards. "It's about time!" Amy complained.

"It could be worse, Noah could have been the last one standing, then we'd have spent the night in here while he walked three city blocks." Scott chuckled.

"It's funny you think I care." Noah rolled his eyes.

Duncan cut a hole in the bottom of the bouncy castle and it deflated allowing the rest of the cast to crawl out from under it. Alejandro, remembering Scott's earlier comment, turned to him with a smirk. "You carry a knife for whittling. Why didn't you think of that?"

"Shut up Al." Scott huffed, unable to counter.

The ground started to shake as the contestants stood there. Gwen turned to Duncan. "I thought you took the monster out of commission?"

"Must have fixed it." Duncan shrugged. At that moment the giant foot of the monster crushed the small white trailer to their right, with a maroon striped awning.

"Shouldn't Chef get in trouble for that?" Sammy asked.

"Since when has Chris cared about property damage?" Noah pointed out.

Chris exited the small white trailer to their left with an orange striped awning. ""Woah." He said in surprised as the flattened trailer was shown. "Am I ever glad I chose to wait in that trailer."

"You were only in there for about twenty minutes, don't act like you waited that long." Amber rolled her eyes.

"It looks like you all made it." Chris continued ignoring Amber completely. "Guess I lose the bet. That was just a warm up. Good news is, your next challenge is a reward." Almost everyone cheered, the exception being Crimson, who remained deadpan. "It will be the boys against the girls with the winner getting the first pick of the trailers where you'll be living for the next forty-two days. You will have your choice of trailer A," Chris said gesturing to the left trailer with the orange awning. "Or trailer…yeesh." He cringed as the flattened trailer was shown again. "Off to the crafts and service tent!"

(Confessional)

Noah: Another season of the slop Chef calls cooking. Yippie.

Static

Amy: You know at this rate eating will be more of a challenge than the actual challenges.

Static

Gwen: Can't be worse then what I was given as an intern.

Static

/

An angelic chord played as the crafts and service tent is shown. Inside the focus moves over a table of perfect food. Triangular sandwiches, salad, rolls, rib eye steaks, freshly cut pineapple, an assortment of cheeses, watermelon, a delicious looking cake, and several pies. "Wow what a spread!" Kitty cheered.

"Dude this chow looks like something out of a commercial." Geoff added.

"Careful, last time Chris presented us with a feast it was a trick." Noah pointed out.

"Not surprising you think it's commercial levels of good to look at, because it's all fake." Chris explained.

"Makes sense, actual food rarely looks this appetizing." Ellody noted.

"It's all props made from foam core, silicone, sawdust and wax." Chris said gesturing towards Chef holding a container of glue with a brush inside and a saw. "Your challenge? To find a key within this faux buffet by looking in the food. Boys will take the left side of the table, girls you take the right."

The boys lined up on one side of the table, while the girls lined up on the opposite side. Chris held up a finger. "And action!"

A rock tune played as the focus moved over the boys, each searching a different prop. Duncan was tearing apart several steaks, Trent ripped into one of the pies, Harold was looking through the pineapple, Geoff was pouring out a pitcher of water, Noah was ripping up rolls one by one, Alejandro and Topher were ripping up cheese, and Scott was, actually eating one of the small oranges?

Meanwhile on the girl's side Amy was throwing salad out of a bowl, Sammy was ripping up potatoes, Kitty was looking in the watermelon, Amber was tearing up the cake, Gwen was tearing into a turkey, Ella was pulling apart cinnamon buns, Ellody was systematically taking apart the sandwiches, and Crimson was sticking her hand into one of the pies.

"So how long do you think it'll take them to find the key?" Chris asked.

"At this rate, any moment now." Chef shrugged. As though on cue Crimson deadpanned. "I found something." She pulled the key out of the key she was looking in.

The girls cheered.

(Confessional)

Kitty: Alright Crimson! Way to win it!

Static

Sammy: You know, Crimson scares me, but maybe she's actually nice? It's hard to tell.

Static

Amy: Any one of us could do that you know. Crimson just got lucky.

Static

Crimson: (Slowly blinks)

Static

Noah: I can't even be mad. Crimson has her own ways of doing things and it seems to work out for her most of the time.

Static

"Congratulations Crimson, sine you're the winner, you get first pick of the trailers." Chris declared.

"Have fun sleeping in the pancake boys." Amy smirked.

/

Everyone except Chef stood before the two trailers. Crimson looked them over. "I'll take trailer A." The girls cheered. "As much as I want to sleep in what is basically a metal coffin, I want to be alone when I do it."

The girls stopped cheering when the monster's foot crushed the other one. Chris and Chef are shown in the tent, where Chef is controlling the mocap suit again. Chris laughs.

(Confessional)

Topher: Classic Chris, bring everyone's hopes up before crushing them. (He laughs)

Static

Chef is shown briefly on one of the trailers hammering the last piece in. The focus moves outward to show both trailers are now fixed, and Chris is driving past everyone in a golf cart. "Ok everyone get a good night's sleep, because you've got a seriously early wake up call. Call time is six A.M." The host laughed. "Sleep quickly."

/

In the boys cabin people are choosing bunks. "I'll take a bottom," Geoff said. "Duncan?"

"I'll take the top." The delinquent agreed.

"Why don't we bunk together Alejandro? I'll take the bottom. You can have the top." Topher offered.

"Sounds fine to me amigo." Alejandro said.

Harold looked towards Noah hopefully, he lifted a finger. Noah ran over to Trent. "I'll take whatever bunk you want, just save me from bunking with Harold."

Trent chuckled. "Well I slept on the bottom last time. So why don't you take the top again."

Harold put his finger down with a sigh. Scott's hand came down on his shoulder. "Looks like it's you and me nerd." Harold gulped.

/

In the girl's trailer things weren't going quite as smoothly. "I want the bed closest to the door." Amy demanded.

"And why should you get first pick?" Gwen asked.

"I know you're new around here, I'm pretty much the one in charge." Amy bragged.

"I've seen season one. No one listens to you but Ella." Gwen smirked.

"Girls, must we fight?" Ella asked.

"Chris did say we must wake at six A.M. If we argue we will not have the proper amount of sleep." Ellody pointed out.

Amy climbed onto the top bunk of the bed she wanted. "Ella you take the bottom. I mean if you want."

"Of course." Ella smiled taking the bottom bunk.

Sammy sighed. "We can bunk together." Amber suggested. Breaking the sweet twin from her negative thoughts. "You can have whatever bunk you want. I literally don't care. Just to be clear I mean literally, literally not figuratively." She sighed. "The fact that english language has reached the point where I have to specify that is sad."

Sammy smiled. "I'll take the top then."

Gwen turned to Crimson. "So you want top or bottom bunk?" The stoic goth didn't answer. "I guess you don't care. I'll take the top then." Crimson nodded her agreement and they climbed in bed.

"I guess that leaves us Ellody. You mind if I take the top bunk?" Kitty asked.

"I don't mind. Both bunks have dangers attached to them." Ellody said.

"Okay?" With that the last two girls claimed their beds.

/

Outside the trailers Chris poked his head out. "Shh." He said with a finger to his lips. "They're sleeping." A cruel grin too his face as he pulled out his usual red megaphone, a little feedback indicating he had turned it on. "This is your five A.M. wake up call!" Both trailers are shown as the contestants groaned loudly. "I'm only kidding. You can sleep. For now." He waited a few seconds before pointing the megaphone in the direction of the boys' trailer and setting off the air horn attached to the megaphone. More complaining could be heard.

Chris turned to the audience. "That's a wrap for day one. Will Amy drive everyone crazy? Can Harold get a break from anyone that isn't Ellody? Who knows what drama faces our cast?" The host chuckled. "Well I do, but I ain't telling. See you next time on another thrilling episode, of Total. Drama. Action."

Chapter Text

The recap begins with a distance shot of the film lot. "Last time on Total Drama Action." A clapboard transitions us to the contestants standing outside the film lot as Chris pulls up in the cart he'd given the tour in. Chris is shown driving the cart in close up, then the giant gilded Chris is shown. This is followed by Chris showing the warehouse sections of the film lot, then the reel with a chest of gold on it is shown. "Sixteen teenagers, one engaging host, one dilapidated film lot, and a whole lotta coin. Ka-ching!"

The contestants are shown running across the beach set, then the animatronic monster's tail is shown knocking down a building, followed by Chef being shown controlling it. "Oh and did I mention? A remote controlled monster. I love this show!" Scott, Amber, Topher, and Alejandro are shown running away from the monster, Then Gwen is shown pushing Duncan out of the monster's way, followed by Duncan getting the monster to short circuit. "Some fared better than others, but after Gwen sacrificed herself for him, Duncan emerged victorious."

The banquet of fake food props is shown, followed by Crimson finding the key in a pie. The animatronic monster is shown stepping on one of the trails and crushing it flat. The unflattened one is shown, then as the girls cheered the monster is shown smashing it too. Then the girls are shown getting into their bunks. "But it wasn't long until Crimson found the key in a banquet of fake food giving the girls the reward: First pick of the cast trailers! Like any normal person Crimson chose the unsmashed trailer, but the girls hopes were crushed along with their new digs."

Chris is shown standing on the film lot as he closes out the recap. "Who will be one step closer to one million bucks? Find out on another thrilling episode of Total! Drama! Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The episode proper begins with a focus on the crafts and service tent before shifting inside where Chef gives Amy a scoop of eggs, followed by Harold. Elodie is shown in line next, followed by Crimson and Noah. The focus is placed on Amber, Topher, and Alejandro. "I am famished. I forgot how much of a toll these challenges are on my body." The Spaniard said as he accepted his eggs from Chef.

"I know right, it takes work to look this good." Topher said. Chef put some eggs on his plate. "This looks great Chef. Can I have a little more?" The cook growled at him. Topher shrugged.

"I don't know about great but the food looks surprisingly edible this time around." Amber noted as she stepped up to get her eggs. "No offense."

"None taken." Chef told her before dropping the eggs he was going to give her on the floor.

"Nice one Chef!" Topher called.

Amber glared at him. "Don't encourage him."

"You can have some of the eggs on my plate chica." Alejandro offered. Amber turned bright red at the thought of eating off Alejandro's plate. The Spaniard chuckled.

"Don't you need all your energy for the challenge? Besides, why should you help her? In this game we're all enemies." Topher pointed out.

"True, but one person is an island. You push everyone away and you'll have no one to save you from getting voted off. It's all about balancing self interest with teamwork." Amber told him.

"She is right amigo." Alejandro told Topher. The three of them continued forward with Topher glaring at Amber's head.

Kitty, Geoff, Duncan, and Gwen were all shown with a stack of pancakes on each of their plates. "Chef's food isn't so bad sometimes." Kitty smiled.

"Well it's better than what they give the interns. I'll give it that much." Gwen admitted.

"What kind of food did they give you?" Geoff asked.

"Mostly this thick greasy gruel. The texture was so bad." Gwen shuddered.

"Sounds like the food they give you in juvie." Duncan smirked.

"Anyway Geoff and I are gonna go eat." Kitty said, grabbing her boyfriend's hand and dragging him with her. Geoff just went along with it.

(confessional)

Gwen: Weird. I would have expected them to eat with Duncan.

Static

Kitty: My love radar is going crazy around those two. We should give them some alone time.

Static

Everyone is sitting at the tables eating with Chris arrives wearing a red barrett and matching ascot as well as a pair of sunglasses. He has a green backpack in his hand. "Welcome to day two of," He held up a clapboard and set it off. "Total! Drama! Action!"

"Are you gonna do that every time?" Duncan asked.

"Yes. Yes I will." Chris smirked.

"Alright then." Duncan shrugged.

"Today's movie genre: Aliens." Chris said, Duncan is shown looking excited. Crimson looks excited in her own way, and Noah is raising an eyebrow. "Our unpaid interns have been hard at work figuring out what makes an alien movie successful. Chef?"

The cook is shown behind the counter stirring a pot full of sickly green goop. "You got three basic groups. Aliens want to take over the world and start making baby aliens. People start fight back, then the military is called." Chef takes the spoon out of the pot a glob of goops sticks to it until he shakes it sending it right into an unamused Noah's face.

"You Chris, where's my paycheck at?" Chef asked, looking angry.

Chris looked shocked, but he quickly recovered. "It's in the mail." He said unconvincingly. Chef glared.

Chris held up a map and unfolded it, revealing a plain blue paper with two green circles labeled one and two, a dotted black line between them leading to a giant red X. "Today's challenge: Find an Alien egg and return to home base before Mama Alien finds you." He throws the paper over his shoulder. "The two fastest get to pick the teams this season."

At the table Duncan smirked. "Sorry losers but no one knows alien movies the way I do. The more obscure the better."

Gwen pointed her fingers like guns and said. "I'm gonna blend up those no-good aliens and have'em for breakfast!"

"Dude Alien chunks is my favorite alien movie of all time." Duncan said.

"Me two! I've seen it twenty-seven times." Gwen said.

Duncan looked proud. "Fifty-three."

"Seventy-one." Crimson deadpanned. Duncan and Gwen looked at her with a smirk.

"You two will be tough to beat." Gwen. said. "But I have my lucky charm."

(confessional)

Gwen: I love the scene in Alien Chunks where they turn the aliens into fruity blended drinks. (She pulls out a necklace with a blender on the end.) I even have the necklace.

Static

"Obscure movie knowledge is fine, but considering Chris this will be pretty mainstream." Noah said. "Crimson and I have this."

"Wanna put your money where your mouth is?" Duncan asked.

"I'm listening." Noah replied.

"Gwen and I versus Crimson and you. The two who make it the farthest get ten bucks." Duncan smirked.

"Fine." Noah smirked back.

"So what? Do you have some laser shooting monster playing Mama alien?" Trent asked.

"Not quite." Chris said. Chef arrived behind the counter in a green alien costume with a head similar to Xenomorph. "You call that slime? Make up more slime over here!" Thick green slime is poured on Chef's head.

The cook looks furious. "I hate my life."

Chris pulls out a GPS. "Here are your GPS devices, complete with maps of the film lot." He tossed one to Duncan, then Noah, then Trent. "Find the alien eggs, but be careful. Cuz today you're all on Chef's menu!"

The cook cackled.

/

The scene shows that the contestants are on a very space station like set. With ramps leading up and down, wires, a gangplank, and a couple hallways. The GPS is shown with two strong bronze hands on either side of the screen. Alejandro is shown looking around. Then Amber is shown doing the same, followed by Topher, then Harold and Ellody.

"Fear not mi amigos. I shall lead us to victory," Alejandro told the group.

"Although we are not friends, I have no doubt you are right. Your leadership skills are outstanding. Of course the moment we see eggs you will no doubt betray us." Ellody told him.

"You two are just jealous he merged and you didn't." Topher smirked back at them.

Amber paused at a door looking at it. "Chills. I wonder if this is where Chef is hiding? Feels like something with no soul is behind here." The focus pulled back from the screens showing Chris in a room full of cameras.

"Thanks." He chuckled. Then he pressed a button on the control panel in front of him. "Now take this!"

Out in the hall a gust of air sprayed out of the ceiling. Amber backed into Alejandro's arms. The two smiled at each other. Topher rolled his eyes.

(confessional)

Topher: Amber thinks she's so great just because she's dating way out of her league. Ugh. I hate seeing them flirt with each other. (His eyes widened) Because it makes Alejandro seem less villainous!"

Static

Amber: I'm actually kinda happy Chris announced a season two. Getting to work with Alejandro is so much better than working against him. I'm glad I get to experience it. Of course Topher's been following us around… little awkward.

Static

The GPS screen is shown again, then Alejandro is shown walking him are Amber, Topher, Harold, Ellody, Trent, Sammy, Ella, Amy, and finally Scott. Who is holding another GPS. He's glaring at it. "Why are we the only dots?!"

"It'd be just like Chris to give us fake GPS'." Amy scoffed.

Trent turned around. "When did you two join us? One of you is a saboteur and the other's Amy."

"There's only way to go loser." Amy rolled her eyes.

(Confessional)

Amy: Trent is such a jerk. I can't believe I ever liked him. I want to fight, but I'm trying to cut back on my insults for Ella.

Static

Gwen and Duncan are shown when loud banging noises came from further up the hallway. The focus shifted over the first few contestants. Revealing Gwen, Duncan Noah, and Crimson were all ahead of Alejandro, Amber, and Topher. Gwen shushed the group behind her. Noah is shown looking bored as the sounds continued. "Who's making those sounds?" The cynic wondered. the focus shifted to Sammy quickly.

"It wasn't me I swear!" The nice twin protested.

Amber smiled at her gently. "Relax, no one would believe Amy if she tried to pin it on you anyway."

"Maybe it's Chris?" Topher said excitedly.

Chris is shown in the room with the screens again. "Not this time Topher."

Out in the hallway Duncan smirked. "It must be Chef! You wanna run, or do you want to kick some Alien butt!"

"Let's kick some alien butt!"Gwen cheered.

"Don't let me stop you." Noah shrugged.

"So who wants to go first?" Harold asked.

"How about Amber?" Topher challenged.

"Why not you? You're the fan of the show, you'd probably know Chef best." Amber told him looking nervous.

"Well someone has to go." Trent frowned.

Sammy gained a determined look as she started to walk past those ahead of her. "I haven't started to work on my confidence just to give up over a cook in a cheap alien costume!" As she passed Amber the bookworm grinned at her.

"That's right!" Amber encouraged.

"Watch out Chef! Here comes Sammy!" The sweet twin turned the corner and smiled. The focus pulled back to show Kitty and Geoff were pounding on the walls of the set. "It's just KItty and Geoff." She called back.

Duncan, Gwen, Crimson, and Noah all gather behind Sammy. "So what's with the noises?"

"Oh we decided to scout ahead and see if we could find a secret passageway!" Kitty explained.

"There aren't any hollow walls here." Geoff sighed.

"It'd probably have led you to certain doom even if you found one." Duncan pointed out.

(confessional)

Gwen: I wasn't worried about Chef. alien costume or not. I know alien movies, this challenge is mine.

Static

The GPS is shown in close up again, this time with Gwen's hand holding it. The dot on screen turned green and began beeping. All the contestants are shown. "Good thing we're all lined up in a row huh?" Gwen sighed.

"Nice strategy alien hunter." Noah snarked.

"I'll remember that when you're one of the first picked off." Gwen smirked back.

Both Noah and Gwen's GPS started to go off. "Danger, Danger, Danger." The focus shifted back to Scott and Amy. For a moment everyone stood in silence. Then some began to panic.

"We've gotta get out of here?!" Scott said.

"Where do we go?" Ella asked.

"Just pick a direction!" Amy ordered. So Amy, Scott, and Ella all went down the nearest ramp.

The focus is on Gwen as she looks at her GPS. "The map says the boiler room is this way."

"Alien eggs are always in the boiler room." Duncan smirked.

"You mind if we tag along? You seem to know what you're doing." Trent asked.

"Sure we could use the bait." Duncan smirked. The four of them moved on ahead. Noah nods at Crimson and the two head off. We follow them up a ramp to the gangway.

"What's the plan?" Crimson asked.

"Eggs are in boiler room. Which heats the "Spaceship" and if I know my movie cliches…" Noah looked up the wall. A fair bit higher than they were was a vent cover. The cynic turned to Crimson and smirked. "Boost me up." Crimson picked him up and he got the cover off. He climbed in, the reached down to pull her up too.

We hear Crimson's deadpan voice drone. "Boiler room here we come."

(confessional)

Crimson: I never would have considered the vents. (Her lip quirks upwards as though she's struggling not to smirk.) And Noah went first, so I have quite a view.

Static

/

A gust of air exits a pipe as the focus shifts down to show Chef, now arms with a paintball gun, running down a hall. Despite his earlier anger he's smirking, clearly eager to hunt some teens down. He drops down and runs forward, before turning to run the other way.

/

Somewhere on the ship Alejandro, Amber, Topher, Harold and Ellody walking along. Ellody looks a bit nervous. "This corridor is so linear. If Chef drops in on us it will be difficult to get away."

Harold got into a fighting stance.. "Don't worry I can take Chef." Harold told her.

"As long as we work together we can overpower Chef." Amber said.

"Sure but there's only one winner. Wouldn't it be better to ditch everyone when he shows up? Buy time?" Topher suggested.

"It's risky. You don't know how long it'll take Chef to beat the others. If you fail you have no backup." Alejandro explained.

"Exactly." Amber smiled.

"I could beat Chef on my own, but you could help a little." Harold admitted. Chef hung down from the ceiling behind him, but lost his grip and fell to the floor. Harold took his fighting stance again. "Did anyone else hear that?"

(confessional)

Harold: I may not be the best looking guy, or the best dressed, or the most buff, But I get my butt kicked a lot. So my senses are totally heightened. I can sense when something's coming, Nothing gets by me.

Static

The remaining four contestants pupils contracted as they stared behind Harold. Chef tapped Harold's shoulder, causing the nerd's pupils to contract as well. Then he turned and faced Chef, who had the paintball gun in his hand. "Say hello to eternity." The cook said before shooting Harold point blank. Before Ellody could run she was shot as well.

"Sorry Ellody." Harold groaned.

"It's not your fault. Chef snuck up on you." The genius said.

"You still think we can take him on?" Topher challenged Amber.

(Confessional)

Amber: Okay what is up with Topher? As far as I know I didn't do anything to him. So why is he so hostile? I'm doing my best to help.

Static

Chef stepped closer to the three a manic grin on his face. Topher pushed Amber forward. "Every person for themselves!" Amber stumbled in her shock causing Chef to miss her completely.

"What is wrong with you?!" Amber snapped back at a fleeing Topher.

"Looks like I need a better gun." Chef chuckled, jumping into the air and revealing a much bigger paintball gun with a rotating bullet clip.

Alejandro gripped Amber's hand. "We'd best retreat for now." Amber nodded and they started to run. They turned the corner to find Topher had completely vanished.

"I can't believe he pushed me at Chef!" Amber snapped.

"Perhaps he was merely acting on instinct and you got caught in the crossfire?" The Spaniard suggested.

"I guess?" The bookworm frowned. Chef could be heard roaring towards them. "We can focus on that later!"

They continued to run when Amber tripped. Alejandro looked back at her. "Keep running!" Amber told him. Alejandro nodded and continued to sprint as Chef shot Amber. He didn't get far before Chef shot him too.

In the room with the monitors Chris chuckled. "Oh that was brutal! I should get involved, make things even better!" Chris took off the beret and ascot replacing them with a camo cap. "I really should wear camo more often."

/

Noah and Crimson are shown crawling through the vents. "According to the GPS, we should be above the boiler room soon." Noah explained. Crimson nodded.

/

The GPS is once again shown in close up with Gwen's pale hands on either side of the screen. The focus shifts out to show Gwen, Duncan, Sammy, Trent, Geoff, and Kitty have all reached a door with a large wheel on it. The focus moves inside as a row of lights goes off and the door opens. The six contestants look through to see a large boiler steam, a giant pit of alien eggs below it.

/

A dripping pipe is shown before the focus moves out. Topher is walking underneath it. Looking around for Chef. He moves forward only to run into the cook in his alien costume. He screams and runs away.

"We can work something out right Chef?" Topher called back.

"Okay, you run and I shoot you." The cook chuckled doing exactly that. That slime hit into Topher's hair.

"Why the hair?!" The Chris fan complained.

(Confessional)

Topher: (He still has slime in his hair that he's trying to remove.) Chef man, not cool! How am I supposed to look good for my fans if I can't get this gunk out of my hair? (A hand holds out a bottle.) Normally I wouldn't try a new shampoo but I'm desperate.

Static

Scott, Amy, and Ella are all shown entering a room with a series of wires on the wall as well as what looks like a traffic light in the wall. "Oh dear, does anyone know how we got here?" Ella asked.

"Well you got us lost, nice job brainiac." Scott glared at Amy.

"We didn't ask you to come with us!" The blonde snapped back at him.

""Friends please! We need not argue." Ella said.

The door to the room started to lower. "Okay, 'friend' I think you led us into a trap." Scott scowled.

/

Chef is seen plugging a large hose into a pipe in the wall. "We gotta hire an effects crew." The cook deadpanned to the camera. He turned the spigot and something flowed through the hose into the pipe. The sprinklers above the room holding Amy, Ella, and Scott are shown having slime pour out of them. The contestants scream and when next see them they are covered in slime.

Amy and Ella are both clearly grossed out but Scott decided to rub some in. "Wow this feels way better than dirt." He noted.

(Confessional)

Scott: You work on a dirt farm long enough and anything softer feels like silk. (He runs his fingers over his arm.) My skin is smoother than a pig's belly.

Static

Amy: I knew he was gross,but this is like next level gross. It makes me sick just watching. (She smirks) Oh wait, that's just because its Scott.

Static

The pit of alien eggs is shown as the group of six teens approach. "Wow, they look so real." Trent noted.

Duncan looked around with a smirk. "No sign of Noah or Crimson, probably got slimed."

"You wish." A deadpan voice said as a vent opened in the ceiling. Crimson dropped down without flinching and caught Noah.

"The vents huh? Smart, the coward's way, but smart." Duncan acknowledged.

The GPS went off and Gwen looked hurried. "Quick lower me down!" Gwen told Duncan. A flash transition later shows Gwen hanging over the pit of eggs. She grabs one and it bursts. "Ever heard of plastic props?" She complained, but she managed to get the second one. Another flash transition shows all eight contestants now had an egg each.

At that moment the light near the door went from green to red and Chef looked in through the door. Before they could move Chef shot Noah and Crimson. The remaining six contestants ran out of the room with Chef in pursuit.

/

Duncan, Gwen, Trent, Sammy, Geoff, and Kitty are all shown running out into the western set. They all skid to a stop. The focus shifts to Chris in his red helicopter speaking through his megaphone. "Attention civilians, the military is here to protect you now. Unfortunately we can't allow you to leave with any alien eggs."

The six turned as Kitty cried out to see Chef had caught up to them with his paintball gun. The cook smirked and went to shoot the rest of them, only to frown as nothing came out. "Outta ammo." He moved to retrieve another from somewhere off screen.

"But we're supposed to take the alien eggs!" Trent called to Chris. "That's what you said!"

In the Helicopter a pair of large slime filled bombs lowered. "Right I did." The host laughed as he set the bombs off. Chef landed on the ground with a new paint ball gun just as he did so.

"Oh crud." Chef said. The explosion is not shown save for Chris' helicopter getting hit by the splash back.

Chris chuckled as he lowered the window of the helicopter. "Glad I don't have to clean it up." The contestants are shown revealing Gwen and Geoff have also gotten splashed with slime.

"Does this mean I'm out?" Gwen asked.

Duncan revealed himself to be hiding behind a water trough, while Sammy and Trent were revealed to have been behind a couple barrels. Duncan smirked at Gwen. "Sorry about it pasty. More money for me I guess." He teased.

Gwen clutched at her chest as though wounded. "Oof that was rough."

(confessional)

Gwen: I like how Duncan gets my sense of humor. Insulting each other through snarky banter is just fun. It's nice to be able to do it with someone. A lot of people take it the wrong way.

Static.

Sammy gasped. "We lost our alien eggs!" Duncan, Sammy and Trent began to look for them. Duncan's eyes widened as he spotted one first. A single egg balanced on the end of a board Chef was under. Duncan ran for it.

Gwen gasped as she reached for her neck.. "My necklace!" She looked around and saw it about to fall into a nearby drain. Determined she slid for it just managing to grab it before it fell in. Duncan meanwhile stepped on to the board and the egg hit him in the face splattering him with slime.

"What? No!" The punk stomped his foot. This caused the board to move up a bit before slamming back down on Chef's head, knocking him unconscious.

(confessional)

Duncan: Whatever, at least we won the bet. Plus did you see that board hit Chef? Totally worth it.

Static

Gwen put her necklace back on, then the focus shifted to Chris parachuting towards them. "The six of you gave it a valiant effort, but you're still losers!" He landed on the ground and began to laugh. Trent glared at him, then smiled as the focus shifted to show what he had spotted: two alien eggs under the board Chef had just moved out from under.

"Not so fast Chris." The guitarist declared as he ran to grab the eggs. Everyone looked shocked. "Sammy meet you at home base!" Chef went grab him but missed.

"I'll get you next time!" Chef growled.

Chris approached him. "Can't you do anything right?"

"Where's my money? Hm? Give me my money!" The cook snapped back at him.

/

Harold, Ellody, Amber, Alejandro, Topher, Amy, Ella, Scott, Noah, and Crimson were all shown sitting on the benches outside the trailers. Trent and Sammy run on to the scene, holding an egg each. They were out of breath.

Chris came on to the scene, with a slime covered Kitty, Geoff, Duncan, and Gwen behind him. "We have our two winners! Our only two winners! The rest of you really stink." Sammy and Trent smiled at each other as the others glared at Chris. "As our two winners, Sammy and Trent will now be able to pick out their teams, which means: They'll be competing against each other this season!" Sammy's eyes contracted in fear as Trent looked shocked.

"Aww dude no!" Trent protested.

Chris laughed. "Bet you didn't see that one coming. After we vote off two members in the most thrilling gilded Chris ceremony yet-"

"Considering we haven't had one, that's a low bar to clear." Noah snarked.

Chris glared but otherwise ignored him. "Yes you heard me. I said two. I'm like twos today. Must be Tuesday." Everyone rolled their eyes as the sound of crickets played. Chris didn't look amused either. "Yeah I don't get payed to write this show." He shrugged.

After he left Duncan turned to Noah."I think you owe me ten dollars." Noah rolled his eyes and handed him the money. "Sweet. I'm gonna shower." He said, walking off.

Gwen, Kitty, Geoff, Topher, Amber, Harold, Ellody and Amy all decided to hit the showers as well. Alejandro moved to join them but Noah grabbed his arm. Alejandro frowned. "Is there something you want?"

"Two contestants. Kitty and Geoff are a power couple, and they work well with Gwen and Duncan. They all end up on the same team, they could easily rule the game. Plus they're both likable so the longer we wait, the less people will be willing to vote them off." Noah pointed out.

Alejandro nodded. "You make a fair point. I can get Amber and Topher in."

"I know a couple contestants who don't have many allies. We should be able to scrape the votes together." Noah nodded.

"Just so we're clear, we're working together for this vote only." Alejandro told him.

"Of course," Noah smirked.

/

The stage with the two giant Chris statues is shown as spotlights wave in front of it. A series of clips featuring Chris from last season ,several of them just him talking, roll over the screen in two parallel lines, a vertical line of clips include one where Chris is dress as a pirate rolls down between them, as two more clips, one of Chris in a helicopter and one of him with a clapboard, move out to either side, the focus zooms out to show a giant gilded Chris as fireworks go for in the background. The screen flashes to the actual amphitheater as Chris steps on stage wearing a powder blue suit as he steps up to the podium. Everyone is sitting in the bleachers. "It's time to cast your votes, under your seats you'll find your voting devices." Chef held up a small machine with a list of contestants on it. "Just press the button of the person you want voted off. Oh, and no peeking or it's goodbye."

Chef began walking on stage in the glittery pink dress from the opening. The votes have been cast. " Everyone began to laugh at Chef who wasn't amused by their laughter. He's holding a ton of gilded Chris' in his hands. "If you get a gilded Chris it means you're safe. For now."

Each contestant is shown as Chef throws them a gilded Chris. "Sammy, Trent, Harold, Duncan, and Gwen." They all smile as they received their immunity. "Amber, Topher, and Alejandro are also safe." Alejandro and Topher caught their gilded Chris' Amber was reading and ended up with it hitting her face. Topher laughed and she glared at him.

"So is Noah and Crimson." The two caught their gilded Chris' with little emotion. "Next is Ella, Ellody, surprisingly Scott. And last but not least-" Amy is shown looking confident in the stands while Kitty and Geoff look worried. They grip each other's hands. "Amy!" The mean twin caught her statue with a smirk.

"I thought everyone liked us." KItty frowned.

"Exactly." Scott smirked.

(Confessional)

Amy: Hey if Noah wants to offer me an easy chance to avoid leaving why not take it?

Static

Scott: I don't exactly have a lot of options this season.

Static

Amber: I mean Kitty won last season. Getting rid of her now is just logical.

Static.

"Any final words?" Chris asked the two of them.

"Yeah, Duncan kick their butts for us!" Kitty cheered.

"We're rooting for you dude." Geoff agreed.

"Psh. Whatever." Duncan replied, hiding a small smile. Hand in hand Geoff and Kitty walked down the red carpet to the lame-o-sine Where Chef held the door open until they got in.

Chris begins to wrap up the episode from his podium. "Who will Sammy and Trent pick for their teams? Will Amy make it past the next elimination? Will Noah ever stop being snarky?"

"No." The cynic said from off screen.

"Tune in next time for another exciting episode of Total! Drama! Action!"

Bonus clip:

Geoff and Kitty are shown sitting in the back of Lame-o-sine. Kitty sighed. "From first place to last."

"Yeah, but don't beat yourself up about it. They just saw how awesome we are as a couple and knew we were a threat." Geoff smiled.

"At least I only lost my half of the hundred thousand, Emma can still get her law degree." Kitty smiled back.

"Some cash would be nice, but I have everything I could want right here." Geoff said.

"That was so cheesy." Kitty replied. "I love it." The two kissed happily.

Chapter Text

The recap begins with the usual shot of the film lot. A door is shown slamming shut then Chris is shown dropping a slime bomb on to the western set. "Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris began. Amy, Ella, and Scott are shown running down a ramp, Noah and Crimson are shown sneaking into the vent, while Gwen, Duncan, Kitty, Geoff, Sammy, and Trent are shown opening the door to the boiler room. The pit of eggs is shown as well."Sixteen teenagers, one spooky film lot, and a whole bunch of alien eggs."

Amy, Ella, and Scott are shown being trapped in the room with the sprinklers, Alejandro, Amber, Topher, Ellody, and Harold are shown looking on as Chef drops to the floor. Sammy is then shown going to face the strange noise, then Noah and Crimson are shown getting shot in the boiler room. "In a world where an army Chef wore an alien costume, only the strong could survive."

Trent is shown grabbing two eggs and handing one to Sammy, then the two of them are shown looking shocked as it is revealed they will be playing against each other. "Finally two lovers shared a victory, but now they'll be forced to endure a tragic separation." Noah is shown talking to Alejandro about voting out Kitty and Geoff. Then the two are shown at elimination, then walking down the red carpet of shame. "And so it was that another pair of lovers were the subject of a vote off for the ages. What can I say? They were recognized as a threat."

Chris is shown standing in the warehouse part of the film lot as he finishes the recap. "This week we're gonna bring the pain! Well if I have anything to say about it and I do by the way. So brace yourselves for some deliciously painful, Total! Drama! Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The episode proper begins by showing the trailers for sleeping at night. The focus cuts inside the boy's trailer, where it moves over several of the boys in different states of Alejandro and Topher, the first being shirtless, the latter with his mouth open. Then Duncan who is making a rock symbol in his sleep. Harold is picking nose, and Noah has his arms wrapped around his pillow as usual.

A flash transition takes us to the girl's trailer where an over all shot of all the girls sleeping is shown the focus shifted to show Ella sleep singing, then Crimson sleeping with her eyes open, before landing on Gwen who screams as she is rudely awoken by an air horn going off. Chris is shown outside with his red megaphone. He winks as the camera. "ALL CREW ON SET! CALL TIME IS FOUR A.M.!" He kissed the megaphone. "I love this thing."

(Confessional)

Ellody: In my half conscious state I mistakenly thought he was talking to the show's production crew, rather than the contestants. One would think I'd know what to expect from Chris after observing his behavior last season. It would seem that he remains unpredictable.

Static

The girl's trailer is shown opening and Gwen comes out looking like a zombie, followed by an equally tired looking Amy, Ella, Ellody, Sammy, and Amber. Amy groaned. "Another season of this." Crimson exited last looking as awake as usual.

Now the boy's trailer is shown opening and Alejandro, Topher, and Scott all shuffle out tiredly. This is followed by Duncan. Then Harold who complains. "This continuing sadistic wake up call is messing with the natural rhythms of my body clock. My mojo will be destroyed."

Noah shoved past him with an annoyed. "As if you ever had mojo."

(Confessional)

Noah: I am not a morning person.

Static

/

The sun has now risen in the sky as the contestants stand in a line waiting for Chris to speak. From left to right they are Ellody, Ella, Gwen, Amber, Crimson, Amy, and Sammy. Then Trent, Harold, Duncan, Scott, Topher, Alejandro, and Noah.

"You're on a film set now," Chris said as he walked past them, "and you're gonna learn that showbiz is not all red carpets and pool parties," The host claimed, pointing into an unamused Noah's face. He and Alejandro shared a look of irritation at the host. "Today you're gonna get schooled on how tough on-set production life can be!" He walked between Gwen and Amber.

The loner rolled her eyes. "Whatever, I can deal. I once had a summer job at a petting zoo. It's so adorable, everybody feeding the adorable goats they're adorable cabbages,but somebody, i.e. me had to shovel up the less adorable end of the digestive system."

Chris turned to Sammy. "Speaking of number two, it's time to pick your teammates, the try to stick to the team your boyfriend chooses."

Sammy swallowed and turned to Trent. "I don't know if I can lead. Let alone against you!"

Trent pat her on the shoulder. "Don't worry. I know you have it in you somewhere."

/

All the contestants are now facing each other with Trent standing next to the girls , still in the order from before, and Sammy at the end of the boys, also in the same order. "Okay," Chris said between them, "let's get this bloodbath started! We're gonna choose schoolyard style: girl, boy, girl, boy," as he alternated between the two he pointed at the respective groups. "Ladies first, since there are no ladies, Samey."

"It's Sammy." Both Trent and Sammy snapped.

"Whatever." Chris rolled his eyes.

Sammy bit her lip and examined all the boys holding her right arm nervously. "Okay, um…Harold?" Everyone looked surprised save Trent who gave her an encouraging thumbs up.

(Confessional)

Sammy: Duncan and Noah are both intimidating, Scott and Alejandro are both untrustworthy, and I don't know what to make of Topher yet. Harold seemed like the safe option.

Static

The geek smugly joined Sammy. "Wise choice, I went to film camp and I'm fully trained in junior cinematography and lighting filters."

Trent looked over the girls. "Gwen." The loner looked surprised as she joined him. He glanced at Sammy who smiled back at him.

(Confessional)

Trent: Gwen seems cool, and she's made it really far in both challenges so far. So I figured I'd give her a shot.

Static

Sammy seemed much more confident in her next choice. "I choose Amber." The bookworm smiled and held up her hand for a high five as she joined Sammy.

"You're doing well." Amber told her.

"I'm glad someone thinks so." Sammy muttered nervously.

Trent looked over at the boys. "Noah." The cynic smirked as he joined Trent. "Glad you're here man. I'm really struggling with the idea of going against Sammy."

"Just think of it like one of those cheesy romance movies about 'forbidden love'." Noah said.

"What's with the air quotes?" the guitarist asked. Noah didn't bother to answer.

Amber turned to Sammy as she was about to choose her next team member. "I know he's not the most trustworthy guy, but can you please pick Alejandro? I really want to work with him this time, since we were always at odds last season. Besides, he's good on a team, it's when you're against him that's the problem."

Sammy nodded. "Okay. Alejandro."

Trent sighed. "Amy."

Everyone was shocked. "What?!" The mean twin exclaimed.

(Confessional.)

Trent: I hate Amy more than anyone else, but I'm not going to risk her ending up on the same team as Sammy again.

Static

"Ellody." Sammy decided, the genius smiled as she moved to stand next to Harold.

"Duncan, at least I know what to expect from him." Trent said. The punk high fived Gwen as he joined the team.

Sammy shrugged. "Topher I guess." The blonde moved to stand to Alejandro's right. Amber glared at him from her place to his left.

"I guess that means I'm stuck with Scott." Trent sighed. The ginger joined them.

Sammy looked at the last two girls.

(Confessional)

Sammy: Ella's really nice, but… she's Amy's friend. I can't risk Amy using her to mess with my team.

Static

"Crimson." Sammy said. The goth silently joined her team.

Trent shrugged. "I guess that leaves Ella on my team."

The princess wannabe happily skipped over to stand next to Amy. "We're on the same team again! Isn't it great?!"

Amy smiled back. "Yeah."

"Samey." Chris said from in front of the twin and her newly picked team. " "I christen your team the Screaming Gaffers!" A triumphant rock chord played as the team's logo appeared in the upper left corner. It was a light green circle with a darker green light bulb and crossbones on it.

Chris ran over to Trent and his newly made team. "Trent, you're the Killer Grips!" Another rock chord heralded the second team logo as it appeared in the upper right corner. It was a red fist on a white background with a red outline."

"Grip?" Ella worried. "That sounds a little violent."

"Um," Sammy asked nervously., "What's a Gaffer?" A sudden crash from offscreen is accompanied by a few dramatic stings. Sammy and all the other Gaffers start, the focus shifted to a pair of men. A broken light showed the source of the noise. The first male was black and chubby, wearing jeans, a white jacket with red accents, and a red hat. The second was a muscular white man wearing green jeans, a white shirt with green accents and an orange beanie. The second of the two men looked furious. ""I'm sick and tired of gettin' no respect around here!" He barked before storming off. The first man pushed a nearby TV off it's stand before leaving as well.

"Okay," Chris said, glancing at his watch. "since we're running late now and don't seem to have any more," He frowned uncertainly, ""uhmm...whatever those...two...crew...dudes...did? We better get going!" He walked over to two sets of film equipment nearby. Each set included a standing light, set of overhead lights, a cart of props, a camera and tripod ,and a large trailer. "Your challenge," he said as the team logos appeared in their respective corners at the top of the screen. "for each team to set up a film set!"

"Doesn't sound too hard." Duncan smirked.

"You think so huh?" Chris smirked back, an evil look in his eyes. "As Location Manager, I want your sets to go...," he moved his finger about for dramatic tension before pointing at the top of the hill set. "There!"

Gwen glared. 'You just love doing this to us."

"Yes, Yes I do." The host agreed, pulling out a walkie talkie and speaking into it. "Chef, All cleared for traffic up there?"

At the top of the cliff the cook looked around then shrugged. The focus cut down to the bottom of the cliff, where Chris is once again using his megaphone. "Lights," Trent swiftly grabbed the standing light for his team. "Camera, action!"

Everyone is shown grabbing what they can. The footage flashed ahead to show Ella and Amy pushing the prop cart up, while Scott was carrying the overhead lights. On the Gaffers, Harold was somehow carrying the overhead lights, while Ellody struggled with the standing light.

Trent is shown moving up with the standing light for his team while Sammy runs past him attempting to carry the camera for her team. The weight becomes a bit too much for her and she nearly falls only for Alejandro to catch her. "Oh, thanks?" Sammy said uncertainly.

"You'd better not try anything Alejandro." Trent warned.

"Relax amigo, I'm merely helping a teammate." The Spaniard replied. "I understand your suspicion though. I have a reputation."

Trent nodded and continued to climb up the hill. Amber ran right into Alejandro and Sammy, dropping the prop cart which rolled down the hill. "There must be a better way of doing this." The bookworm groaned.

Topher smirked as he passed nearby. "Sammy's the leader. What does she think we should do?"

"M-me? I don't know? Maybe we could, um-" Sammy stammered.

"Excuse me Sammy." Ellody said from her spot nearby, having set down her light for a break, Harold too the overhead lights down. "I have a suggestion. What if we passed the equipment to one another in a relay system? Weaker people at the beginning, stronger people at the end?"

"Ellody, that's a great idea! Can you organize it?" Sammy asked.

"Of course." The genius agreed.

/

Back with the other team Trent is struggling to make it to the top. "Come on, I can't let my team down." The guitarist gasped.

"You're not letting anyone down." Gwen told him from nearby. "You're nearly at the top already, which is more than Noah can say."

The focus moved to the bottom of the hill where Noah as desperately trying to move yet another standing light. Duncan laughed nearby. "This is pathetic."

"Oh yeah?" Noah gasped. "Show me how it's done then." Duncan rolled his eyes and easily picked up the light heading up the hill. The cynic smirked. "Sucker."

"If we waited for you to get it up there the day would be over." Duncan retorted.

/

Trent places his standing light at the top of the hill where Chef is. At this point both teams have all their equipment up except for the trailer. "It's neck and neck people! Now for the heavy stuff!"

All of the contestants are standing at the bottom of the hill next to the trailers. "How the heck are we going to get those trailers all the way up the hill?" Trent asked.

"Maybe the strongest members of our team could pull it up?" Noah suggested.

"I have an idea." Duncan smirked.

(Confessional)

Duncan: I may be a punk, but I do have some brains, and Elvis can use all the help he can get.

Static

"If we have the strongest pulling it upfront and the weaker people pushing behind we should get it up there." Duncan smirked.

"Okay, Duncan, Scott, and Gwen will pull, while Ella, Amy, Noah, and myself will push." Trent decided. He turned to Duncan. "You think you two can keep Scott in line?"

Duncan slammed a hand down on the farmer's shoulder. "Oh, don't worry. Farmboy tries anything and he'll regret it."

"Alright everyone get in position." Trent said. The three designated to pull ran to the front. Duncan gripped the trailer hitch, Gwen gripped Duncan's hand, and Scott gripped hers. The others braced themselves against the back of the trailer and pushed. As the trailer slowly but surely started up the hill Trent called back. "See you soon!"

All of the Gaffers turned to Sammy. "Okay, what's the plan leader?" Topher asked.

The nice twin swallowed. " I'm open to suggestions?" She smiled nervously.

"We could try the other team's strategy." Ellody suggested. "Though we may not have the physical strength to do it. The relay helped us overcome that."

"I'm sorry. I should have chosen more strong members." Sammy apologized.

"We don't need raw strength! We have each other, we have the will, and the teamwork! We are the screaming gaffers, and we will prevail!" Alejandro encouraged.

"Yeah! With my mad skills anything is possible!" Harold said.

"I'll pull from the front," Alejandro declared as he moved to the front of the trailer and took off his shirt, pulling it through the hitch. "You guys focus on pushing!"

Harold, Ellody, and Sammy rushed to follow instructions only to find Amber and Topher were staring at Alejandro, distracted by his shirtlessness. "Please try to overcome your hormones long enough to get the trailer up the hill." Ellody requested.

Amber, and Topher all shook themselves out of it. "Right! Sorry!" Amber exclaimed as they joined the others at the back.

/

The Grips are shown part way up the hill, the focus moved out to show the Gaffers not far behind. "Despite a head start the Gaffers are catching up the grips thanks to some." The host chuckled "Difficulties." The focus zoomed in on Amy, who was staring at Alejandro as he pulled up the other trailer.

The focus shifted to a close up of Chris as he continued. "It's anyone's game! Will the Grips stay in the lead? Or will Alejandro's distracting muscles slow them down? Find out after the break.

/

The hill set is shown in full as the focus moved down it to show the two teams were about three fourths of the way up. Up at the top of the set Chris is shown lounging in a deck chair with a fruity drink in his hand. "Welcome back to Total Drama Action! We're in the middle of some pretty wild action right now."

The two sets of teams struggling to get their trailers up the hill were shown. The focus is on the Grips as Trent glares at Amy. "Stop staring at Alejandro and push!"

"Hey I'm still more help than Noah!" Amy replied. The Cynic was briefly shown. He was gasping for breath, and sweating so much his hair was wet. He looked ready to drop at any moment.

"At least Noah's doing his best." Trent retorted.

Meanwhile the Gaffers were having their own troubles. Harold and Ellody both looked almost as exhausted as Noah, Amber was not much better. "We've got, to be, there soon." Amber gasped.

"Alejandro, can you see the top?!" Sammy called.

Alejandro's face brightened. "Si, Senorita! Hold on a bit longer!"

It was a close call, but eventually the Grips won out. The moment the contestants made it to the top of the set several collapsed. Noah, Harold, Ellody, Amber, and Ella. "We won!" Gwen cheered.

"Nice work pasty." Duncan agreed.

"Well, not exactly." Chris smirked.

"What do you mean?" Ella asked.

"That was only the first part of the challenge. "Chris explained. "Did I neglect to mention that?"

"Are you, kidding me?" Noah managed to gasp out.

/

"It's time to make a movie." Chris said as the focus showed the grips as their logo slid on screen. The team was in front of a living room set. Several paintings were painted on the walls, along with a grandfather clock, a burgundy sitting chair, lavender couch with lighter purple throw pillows, and yellow curtains. A purple rug in the center tied it all together.

"What we've got here is the set for a tearjerker starring an elderly lady considering her long life." Chris said.

"Boring." Trent remarked with an eye roll from his spot next to the sitting chair.

With the Gaffers Harold was complaining. "We were almost at the top. Seconds away even, but Chris won't let us use the trailer because it wasn't up here in time."

Topher chuckled. "Classic Chris."

"Glad you find this so amusing." Amber said with a frown.

The Gaffer's set was shown in full. It was a room with a large window at the back, with red curtains to either side. Beneath that window is a solid desk and a green chair pushed up to it. A tall floor lamp stood in the corner, with a brown couch to it's right. A large painting of mountains was above it. On the floor was a very large red rug that matched the curtains.

"You'll be making a feature about a thug, who tries to go straight, but can't resist the lure of the street." Chris told them.

"It has been done." Alejandro said with a flat look.

"What about lunch?" Sammy frowned.

" Indeed, we've been working for eight hours non stop. Union rules require you to give us a break. " Alejandro backed her up.

"Oh yeah? Who here is in the union?" Chris asked, holding up his hand. None of the contestants were able to. "Yeah, I thought so."

(Confessional)

Alejandro: How exactly does Chris get away with all this? ( A hand holds out a stack of papers from offscreen.) Ah Yes. The contracts we signed.

Static

"And now, it's time to choose an actor to perform a scene," Chris said, standing in between the two sets. "Chef!" the host said, turning to Chef with a grin. The cook is holding two manilla envelopes. "Give the teams their scenes!"

Chef shoved one of the envelopes into Trent's arms. He opened it. " Alright We need an old lady."

"There's no way I'm going on stage as a wrinkly old lady." Amy said.

"I don't think I could pull it off. A nice old lady? Hard pass." Gwen said.

"I guess that leaves Ella unless we want to make Amy do it." Trent said.

"Or we could put Noah in a dress." Duncan smirked.

"Just remember I know where you sleep." Noah replied, not amused.

"No my friends! I adore acting, and the plot sounds really sweet! If you want me to be the lead, then I am more than happy." Ella said.

"Great, can we get going?" Scott scowled.

/

"Um so, the lead character is called, 'Big Lucky Parmigiano'" Sammy read off her paper, Topher, and Amber stood nearby.

"I volunteer to play the lead!" Topher declared.

"Yeah no. The lead is supposed to be a tough guy. Your hair alone ruins any toughness you might have." Amber said.

"My hair looks fantastic!" The blonde replied.

"Um, could you please," Sammy began.

"So what, you think Harold should play the lead?!" Topher said.

"No, Alejandro should. He's clearly the toughest guy on our team." Amber pointed out.

Topher nodded. "I can't argue with that."

"Very well then, I shall take the role." Alejandro agreed.

"Alright," Chris announced through his megaphone, "set up the shot! Whoever can get Chef," The cook in question sat in one of two white directors chairs facing a screen with a live feed to the camera, as a military drumline played. "mister ex-Army Corporal, to show any emotion wins the challenge."

Chef put a pair of headphones on and as soon as the host finished talking he bared his teeth and growled at the camera.

/

Gwen is shown standing above the set adjusting the lighting. The focus moves down to show Scott with the boom mike, before stopping on Ella having makeup applied to her by Amy. "Okay, obviously your makeup is perfect, since I did it." The mean twin bragged. "But we need to make you look older somehow." Amy frowned then pushed Ella down so she was crouching. "Better."

"This feels uncomfortable." Ella admitted.

"I know, but it'll make your acting more convincing." Amy told her.

"Try not to move, this light temperamental." Gwen warned.

"Lay off gothie!" Amy snapped.

"Can I get that line again?" Duncan asked from the sound booth.

Amy grabbed the boom mike and yelled into it. "LAY OFF!"

Duncan winced and took the headphones off.

/

On the other set Alejandro is frowning at his script. "These lines do not appear to fit the character description. Perhaps there was a mix up?"

"Even if there was, Chris wouldn't let us change it. He's too much of a sadist." Amber huffed.

"Which is why he's an amazing host!" Topher said.

"Sure if you have low standards." The bookworm retorted.

"You'll never be able to understand his genius." The blonde bragged.

"His 'genius' can only be appreciated by the shallow and brainless." Amber said.

Chris was looking on to the set from the corner. He did not look amused. "At least someone appreciates me."

Sammy looked nervous. "Um, guys." She whispered. Amber and Topher didn't hear her. A loud whistle pierced the air. Everyone turned to Alejandro. He gestured to Sammy. "Thank you. Amber, Topher, can you go set things up?"

Amber looked ashamed. "Sorry, I'll get right on that." Topher just rolled his eyes.

/

Noah is attempting to mark the set with tape. "Trent, where do you want Ella to stand?" He looked up as he didn't get an answer. "Trent?" The focus moved to show the guitarist looking over at the other team worriedly. Noah sighed and joined him. "Hey casanova, where am I marking?"

Trent blinked as though just barely hearing him, and turned. "Oh, wherever I trust your judgment."

Noah rolled his eyes. "Let me guess, you're worried about Sammy."

"She's got some major confidence issues, and now she has to lead? I feel like she needs me." The guitarist said.

"You're the leader Trent. You need to get your priorities straight." Noah told him. He walked off leaving Trent to think on his words.

/

Ellody is looking around at the mess backstage. "Not to be rude, but there must be some way of organizing things better." She noted just as she stepped into a loop of wiring, which knocked one of the hanging lights down causing her foot to be caught in the loop and her body to hang upside down from the wire. "Who was in charge of lighting?" The genius huffed. "I require assistance! Please!"

Harold arrived and took notice of her plight. "I'll help you down M'lady." With that he used the metal tool he was holding to push the light back up, lowering Ellody to the ground.

The genius stepped out of the wiring. "Thank you my friend. I was in a most unpleasant position."

"Anything for M'lady." Harold said with a small bow.

(confessional)

Harold: I've been working on my courting skills. Yep, I've mastered girl whispering.

Static

Ellody: Harold seems to be under the impression that he needs to act more gentlemanly to earn my esteem. Which is not the case, I already respect him. Though I will admit, the etiquette is nice.

Static

"And now," Chris said through his megaphone as both teams are shown on their respective sets. "time for the final hair and make-up!"

The focus moved to Sammy who was approaching Alejandro with a make up bag. Topher stepped in front of her. "I'm a master of make up. Let me handle this."

Sammy looked nervous but stood her ground. "No, I'd like to do the make up."

"Sure if you think you can do it without proper lighting." The blonde smirked.

Alejandro shook his head. "No need. We can just go where the lighting is better. If you'll follow me Sammy?" With that Alejandro stepped towards the judging area and Sammy followed.

Chef is sitting in his chair with his headphones on as Sammy begins to work on Alejandro's makeup. "Um, Alejandro? You've been helping me a lot today."

Alejandro smiled charmingly. "Si, you see I'm willing to help you lead so long as you don't vote me out."

Sammy frowned. "Well…I could use the help. Okay, but don't expect me to cheat for you."

"Of course not." Alejandro grinned.

(Confessional)

Alejandro: I'll admit, strategy isn't the only reason I want to help Sammy. Her situation is similar to one of my own. Of course I had to develop my skills without help.

Static

Back with the grips Amy is shown to have tied a dark purple bonnet around Ella's head, the focus moved out to show she was also wearing a matching skirt, and a gray wig. "There. Between my amazing make-up skill, and your acting we should win this easily." The older twin said.

:"I don't know. These lines don't seem right." Ella frowned.

"Quit complaining and just do it." Scott snapped.

Back on the Gaffers stage, Topher dropped a fedora on Alejandro's head while Crimson shoved a paintball gun into his arms.

A drumroll started as the focus shifted to Chris, who was holding a clapboard in preparation. "And thaaatt's...action!"

The screen changed to a letterbox format as a noir tune played. "When I was young schoolgirl in Poland," Alejandro began in a gruffer voice than his usual "frolicking through the fields with my pet goat in the summer sun," The focus moved to Chris and Chef watching a monitor is disbelief. "Those," Alejandro paused. "were my happiest days."

Chris and Chef looked at each other. "Did you check the envelopes before you labeled them?" Chris asked

"I thought you checked 'em!" Chef answered, looking concerned for a brief moment before both of the hosts began to chuckle.

/

A somber tune played as the Grips scene is shown on the monitor. "Now you listen and you listen good!" Ella said, pretending to hobble like an old lady. The footage switched to letterbox for the remainder of her dialogue. "If your fighter doesn't go down in the first round, you'll be sleeping with the fishes!" the princess wannabe said cheerily. "Which sounds absolutely delightful! I don't understand all the phrases in the rest of the script, but it must be good if fish are involved!"

Everyone turned to look at Scott suspiciously. "Quit complaining and just do it?" Trent frowned.

"What? I had nothing to do with this!" Scott retorted.

/

The focus moved back to Chef watching the next part of the Gaffer's footage on the monitor. The footage switched to letterbox as Alejandro continued his scene. "I've lived a good, long life," Alejandro said mournfully as he shut a folder on the desk. "I've loved, I've laughed," He sighed as he brought his arms around himself. "but what I miss most of all...is my sweet little goat. Shopa!" Alejandro lifted his hand to the sky dramatically as soulful music played. "Ohhh, baaa, baaa!" He cried as tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Baa, Baa." Chef repeated, sounding choked up. He burst into tears at Alejandro's performance Topher, Amber, and Sammy were all shown crying with Sammy holding a box of tissues. Chef joined them and blew his nose into one of the tissues.

"C-c-cut!" Chris said, trying to avoid becoming emotional on camera. "Okay! Enough! It's too much for Chef to take! Alejandro clearly wins for best performance!" The focus shifted back to the Spaniard who gave a bow. "The Screaming Gaffers win it!"

Sammy beamed. "I-I did it! I led my team to victory!" She smiled at Alejandro. "With a little help."

"My pleasure." Alejandro said. He walked over to Amber who was looking at him questioningly. "Meet me outside crafts and services later.." He whispered.

/

The focus is on the contestants' trailers. Trent stood under a tree as Sammy happily skipped out of the girl's trailer. Trent smiled as she reached him. "Congratulations on winning the challenge."

"I still can't believe it!" Sammy beamed. "Of course I had a lot of help from Alejandro." She admitted.

Trent nodded. "Speaking of that, he hasn't-"

Sammy shook her head. "No! If he had, I'd have told you.. Besides, Amber's anger would alert the whole film lot."

"Good. Just be careful, I might be friends with the guy, but make no mistake he's shifty." Trent said.

"I will." Sammy smiled, then for the first time she instigated a kiss.

/

The focus is on crafts and services as Amber arrives to see Alejandro and Topher already there. "So what's up with you and Sammy?" She asked.

"I'm helping her lead the team, and her confidence is brimming." Alejandro smirked.

Amber nodded. "Fine, but you'd better not use an underhanded tactics on her or we'll be having words."

"So why did you invite me?" Topher asked.

"Simple, I purpose the three of us form an alliance. Between the three of us we could control the votes easily." Alejandro explained.

"Why Topher?" Amber frowned.

"He has intimate knowledge of the show, as well as it's host and co host. We should have him on our side." The Spaniard said.

Amber sighed. "It is a good strategy. Fine." They all shook on it.

"Bueno." Alejandro smiled, before departing.

Amber scowled at Topher. "Just so you know I don't trust you as far as I can throw you." With that she two departed. Topher smirked after her.

/

The stage with the two giant Chris statues is shown as spotlights wave in front of it. A series of clips featuring Chris from last season ,several of them just him talking, roll over the screen in two parallel lines, a vertical line of clips include one where Chris is dress as a pirate rolls down between them, as two more clips, one of Chris in a helicopter and one of him with a clapboard, move out to either side, the focus zooms out to show a giant gilded Chris as fireworks go for in the background.

A jazzy tune played as the actual amphitheater is shown Chris walks out on stage waving while the grips look on, unimpressed. Trent, Noah, Duncan, and Gwen on the top row, Amy Ella, and Scott on the bottom row. Chef is shown to be playing a set of purple drums ending his routine with a gesture towards Chris. "And now it's time to cast your votes and determine who will stroll down the Walk of Shame!" The host announced to the contestants as he gestured to the red carpet of shame with the lame-o-sine at the end. Ella and Trent gasped, but the rest of the Grips just looked bored. "Under your seats you'll find voting devices," Chris continued as Trent reached down to grab his. "Just press the button of the person you want voted off!" The screen of the device was shown, a list featuring all the remaining grips with a blank square next to each.

"It's easy," Chris told them, "sooo, cast your votes! Who will it be?" A nervous Ella is shown as he continued. "Who will be cast off the set?" Each of the Grips is shown deciding. Scott, Duncan, Gwen, Amy, and finally Noah. Chef began another drumroll as an old computer next to him printed off the results. "And it looks like all the votes have been cast," Chris announced. "Chef?" The cook handed him the paper with the results. "

"Remember if you get a gilded Chris, you get to stay, as rather suitably, the Gilded Chris represents the luster of fame, and, immortal greatness!" A door under the stage opened and a column with six gilded Chris' on it came out of it. "Aaand Gilded Chris's go to… Trent, Gwen, and Duncan." The guitarist caught his with a smile as Duncan and Gwen high fived. "Also safe is Noah." The cynic smirked as he caught his. "Only three nominees left," Chris said as a split screen showed Scott, Amy, and Ella. The first two looked annoyed while Ella looked nervous. "And, the loser is...!" The host paused as Chef started another drumroll. "Scott!" Ella looked relieved while Amy smirked at him as the two caught their Gilded Chris'. "Time to go!" Chris announced, pointing towards the Walk of Shame.

"What did I even do?!" Scott scowled.

"The scripts got messed up somehow." Trent pointed out.

"I had nothing to do with that!" The ginger protested.

"Sorry Scott," Amy said, not sounding sorry at all. "After all your sabotage last season you can't blame us for being suspicious

"And remember," Chris told him as he stomped towards the lame-o-sine. "you can never come back, ev-er!"

"Whatever Chris! I don't need your stupid show anyway!" Scott snapped as he entered the lame-o-sine. The vehicle is shown driving away as Scott popped his head out of the skylight. "As for the rest of you, take your million dollar prize and choke on it!"

Bonus clip:

Scott is sitting in the lame-o-sine and scowling with his arms folded. "You sabotage your own team a few times last season and the moment something gets messed up everyone blames you for it! I bet Chris and Chef switched the scripts on purpose! I didn't even do anything this challenge! Ella's the one who messed up acting, and Trent was too busy worrying about Sammy to give proper instructions. So how is it fair that I got voted off?!" He huffed. "Well at least I can go shoot rats at home now." Scott's eyes widen as he heard someone say something off screen. "What do you mean there's an aftermath show?!"

Chapter Text

The recap starts with a shot of a starry night sky, slowly it moves back to reveal three large red letters TDA in the center. "Last time on Total Drama Action." A shooting star transitions the scene to Chris, who is shown standing in the Warehouse section of the film lot. A picture of Trent slid to the left of him followed by a picture of Sammy on the right. "He was a boy, she was a girl, and last week on Total Drama Action a shocking team redistribution pitted them against each other." Sammy is shown trying to decide who to pick for her team. Trent is shown giving her two thumbs up. "Though nervous Sammy did manage to choose her team, with Trent supporting her on the way." Trent is shown distracted during the set up for the scenes part of the challenge as well as Noah speaking with him. "It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, as Trent's obvious distraction was caught by one of his teammates."

Alejandro and Sammy are shown talking, followed by Alejandro getting Topher and Amber into an alliance. "Meanwhile our resident charmer made a deal to help Sammy lead, and then got Amber and Topher to agree to an alliance with him." Chef and Chris are shown laughing about the scripts getting mixed up. Then Alejandro's triumphant acting and Ella's feeble attempt are both shown, as well as Chef bursting into tears."With the scripts getting mixed up Alejandro was able to roll with the change in character while Ella struggled, It was all too much Chef's tender heart." Scott is shown getting eliminated as well as his angry outburst and trip to the Lame-o-sine. "The script mix up was blamed on Scott, who's scheming ways from last season made him look suspicious. Scott did not take it well, which considering he didn't actually do anything wrong was justified.

Alejandro is shown, followed by Trent and Sammy talking at the end of the episode. "Is Alejandro really helping Sammy without an underhanded motive? Is Trent's concern necessary?" Chris is shown now in front of the trailers. "Will my non-fat vanilla soy latte ever get here? All the answers, answered right now in another tear jerking episode of Total Drama Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The episode proper began with Chef mixing something in a pot. When he removed the spoon a clumpy brown glop was on it. Amy stared at her plate in horror as it was plopped on to it. "Eww! I guess today will be a good day for my diet!" She gagged.

Ella looked at it from her spot in line behind her. "It doesn't look too bad Amy."

Amy smirked. "Then I guess you can just come sit with me, because you can have it."

"Truly?" Ella gasped. "That is most generous of you! I'm so proud of how much nicer you've been this season!"

Amy looked at the floor. "Whatever." But it was clear she appreciated it. The two girls sat down at one of the tables.

The focus shifted to the other table where Amber and Topher were eating with Alejandro sitting between them. Amber was glaring across her boyfriend at Topher, who was just finishing his bite. "Oh sorry Amber, did you need something?" He asked with a smirk.

Amber looked away. "It's nothing. Whatever."

"Okay?" Topher said. He turned to Alejandro. "Between you and me I'm not sure Amber likes me."

"You have rubbed her the wrong way several times this season. I'm sure you can change her mind. That is if you wish to." Alejandro smirked at him.

"What do you mean by that?" Topher asked.

"Oh you know amigo." The Spaniard told him.

(confessional)

Alejandro: I am a master manipulator. Naturally I can tell when someone is trying to manipulate me. It's clear Topher wishes to undermine Amber's relationship with me, though I don't know the reason.

Static

Trent and Sammy are shown eating together, a pile of scrambled eggs on each of their plates. Sammy reaches for the salt and goes to put it on her eggs, but the top comes off spilling salt all over them. From the other table Duncan laughs. "Sorry for the morning a-salt!"

Trent opened his mouth to defend Sammy, but the blonde stared Duncan down. "Very funny Duncan, picking on someone weaker than you must make you feel so strong."

Duncan looked to be about to retort but Gwen hit him in the back of the head. "Third grade called and you're due back in class."

"Tch, whatever." Duncan scoffed.

Sammy beamed. "It worked!"

"What worked?" Trent asked.

"Alejandro's advice, he said the best way to get to a bully is to undermine their confidence." Sammy replied, eating some of the eggs that weren't salty.

The guitarist frowned. "Isn't that kind of like bullying them back?"

"No, it's just standing up for yourself." Sammy told him.

"I'm not so-" Trent began but he was interrupted by a piercing whistle. A beach tune played as Chris entered the tent in a pair of sunglasses, and holding said whistle. "Hang on to your coconuts, players," The host began as the focus moved back to show he was holding a red and yellow surfboard. "We're goin' back to the beach!"

"Wonderful!" Ella cheered.

"Ever seen one of those 1950s surfer movies where the kids get up to neato fun before the bonfire twist-a-thon, and the bully kicks the sand castle in the nerdy guy's face?" Chris asked. The focus shifted to different camper's as they gave their reactions. Topher shrugged, Noah raised an eyebrow, Harold nodded sagely, Amy gave Chris an unimpressed look, and Sammy and Trent looked confused.

Duncan scoffed. "Uh no grandpa we haven't."

"Well then, get ready to recreate one! Two challenges," he said, "followed by a tiebreaker, if necessary. So, grab your swimsuits!" He turned and left with Duncan, Gwen, Sammy.

Trent moved to leave and Noah put a hand on his shoulder. "Remember, focus on the game." Trent sighed.

/

Hanging lights are shown as visible gust of cold air blow past them. Icicles are hanging from the lights. The focus moves down to show more lights, all with icicles on them. Below them are the contestants in their swimsuits, freezing. "This is awfully cold for a beach." Ellody remarked.

"As some of you can see," Chris said, dressed in thick white parka and snow goggles, "we're actually in the shooting studio." The focus moved back to show an icicle rimmed pool with a surfboard set above it surrounded by yet more filming equipment, including a set of two large fans. Across from where the contestants stood Chef was at what seemed to be a control panel in a green scarf and hat.

"And the AC's cranked because?" Duncan questioned.

"All the cameras and lights get so hot,they could melt Chef's heart." Chris explained. He pointed at his co host, and the cook gave a very disturbing 'cheerful' grin and wave. "And the network told my agent sweaty wasn't a good look for me,"

"Your first challenge," the host continued, motioning up to the surfboard, "hang ten this deck into the big blue without swallowing tail in the soup."

"Speak English!" Amy snapped.

"He means whoever stays on the surfboard longest wins." Trent explained.

"Exactamundo, groovy cats!" Chris told them. "So? Who's goin' first?"

Ellody and Harold glanced at each other, Gwen, Amy, and Ella are shown freezing, Sammy looked anywhere but at Chris, and then a cricket was shown chirping. A gust of freezing air froze it solid and its hind legs broke off.

"The team that wins will get a half-hour head start on the next challenge," the host explained, "aaand given tonight's reward, you should be fighting harder than Alejandro's abs over who gets first shot."

"Speaking of rock hard abs, have you ever seen my ten pack?" Harold asked Elodie. Behind him Noah gave him an annoyed look and pushed him to the front. "Gosh!" The nerd said. "What was that for?"

"Just testing your 'rock hard ten pack'." Noah deadpanned.

"We have a volunteer!" Chris said Harold groaned and hit the side of his head.

/

Harold was shown walking confidently. "Mad surfing skills activate!" He declared as the focus shifted back to reveal that he was now on the surfboard. The gaffers logo was shown in the upper left corner as a sunset appeared on the screen behind him.

"And, please welcome the return of some season one fan-favorites," Chris announced from behind the pool, "the sharks!"

Immediately one of the show's usual sharks popped out of the tank. Harold moved back with a yelp as Chris cringed.

(confessional)

Harold: I'm very protective of my buttocks. They provide me with the low center of gravity that is the key to my many mad skills. You could say they're my hugest asset. Check it! (Harold turned to show his butt to the camera, in his left pocket is a set of purple cards. He shifts his butt and the cards move through the air from his left pocket to his right, and then back again.) I can juggle my magical Steve's magical trading cards!

Static

The confessional cuts to show Harold is now gripping onto the icy wooden beam directly over the pool. The shark leaps up after him, just missing him by mere inches. "My booty and I are out." The nerd said.

The contestants are shown on the ground looking up. Ellody raises an eyebrow. "Harold, I sincerely doubt your posterior has the consciousness to form an opinion."

"I'm not sure Harold does either." Noah snarked.

"I'll have you know this is a selfless act. My lady fans couldn't handle the loss of this perfect behind!" Harold called down.

"As a member of the fan base I can honestly say you don't have many!" Topher called up.

"Hey sharks, remember her?!" Harold called down, pointing. The focus shifted down to show he was pointing at Crimson. The sharks immediately noticed her and retreated into the water. While they were distracted Harold allowed himself to let go of the beam slamming into the wooden diving board in front of Chris.

"Ooh, way to stick the dismount bro." Chris winced.

In the crowd nearby Duncan and Noah laughed at Harold's expense as Duncan gave Gwen an fist bump. Sammy looked at them from her team and frowned, looking self-conscious. Trent placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hey you'll make up for it."

Alejandro nodded from nearby. "Indeed, Harold is hardly our best player."

Sammy smiled at the two of them. "Thanks guys."

Trent smiled back, but balked as he turned to his team to see Amy and Duncan glaring at him, while Noah gave him a flat look. "Dude giving the enemy team a pep talk? Not cool." The punk said.

"I guess we know where his loyalty is" Amy glared.

"Seriously dude, really not helping yourself." Noah pointed out.

/

The surf tune from earlier played as Ella jumped on to the board. The grips symbol appeared in the upper left corner. She began to sing, making the sharks leave her alone as she attempted to balance on the board. Chris smirked and pressed a button on the control panel, changing the backdrop to that of a farm being struck by a tornado. Chef plugged in the two fans nearby and a furious gust of wind started. It wasn't long before Ella slammed back against the screen with a loud smack.

/

Sammy went next and the Gaffer's symbol appeared. She struggled to stay on the rocking board. She ended up falling in quickly, and jumped out of the water just as quickly, running away to hide behind Alejandro. Trent sighed.

/

Noah was next, and he struggled to keep his balance, but any chance of him succeeding was ruined when a shark jumped out of the water taking Noah's swim shorts off. His eyes shot open as he covered his pixelated groin. Duncan, Amy, and Gwen were all shown laughing, while Crimson was struggling to keep a straight face. Topher smirked. "Well you don't see that everyday."

As Noah ran off. Duncan called. "Oh come on dude, It's not like you have much to cover up anyway!"

/

Amber stepped on to the board, and as she did a shark jumped up to eat her. She screamed as it bit the board she was on in half, sending her into the water. She surfaced with yet another scream and shot out of the pool, straight into Alejandro's arms. Topher rolled his eyes. "You're not even going to try and fight the sharks?"

"Okay, when you face up against a carnivore without any way of protecting yourself, then you can talk!" Amber snapped back.

Chris blew his whistle. "Break time!" he announced. "Union rules!"

"It's about time." Alejandro said.

"I don't mean you, sharkbait!" Chris told him.

/

A classy tune played at the focus moved back to show the sharks sitting in chair with a pink towel on each of their heads. They were sipping tea as Chef served them fish.

The focus shifted to the pool to show Gwen already in place on the surfboard. She looked confident. "No sharks equals no problem." Gwen said as she easily balanced on the board.

The focus moved up a gatling gun until the barrel was shown. Chris installed a cartridge full of seagulls on top. Then loaded one in. "I love this game!" The host declared as he shot several. One of them hit the goth in the face and she freaked.

"Ah! Sky rat! Get it out! Get it out!" She screamed, flailing her arms as she fell in.

/

The Grips logo slid into the upper left corner as Alejandro prepared to get on the surfboard. The focus shifted to Amber and Topher standing next to the pool. "Good luck." Amber said.

"Alejandro doesn't need luck! I thought you'd know that." Topher smirked.

Amber turned to him, with a glare but it quickly became a smirk. "I'm sorry I was just supporting my boyfriend." She said, a subtlety mocking tone to her voice.

Topher couldn't think of a reply. Alejandro chuckled as he stepped on to the surfboard.

(Confessional)

Alejandro: I should really try to stop them, but I love seeing Amber like this.

Static

Alejandro was having no trouble standing on the surfboard, and the sharks weren't even attacking him. Chris smirked as he loaded another cartridge of seagulls. "He's good, but not good enough."

Topher gasped as he watched the scene, a fanatic grin on his face.

(Confessional)

Topher: Two of my idol's facing each other pretty much one on one?! It was amazing! Of course I kept a cool head on the outside.

Static.

"This is the best!" Topher cried as Chris unleashed a torrent of seagulls on Alejandro. The Spanish managed to dodge many of them, but eventually it was too much for even him and he fell into the tank.

Amber rushed to the pool. "Alejandro?" The Spaniard dove out of the water, flipped through the air and landed right next to her. He flashed her a gleaming smile. Amber blushed wildly. "I knew you'd be okay."

"You only think he's okay? Harsh." Topher replied with a smirk. Amber rolled her eyes at him.

/

Duncan is standing on the surfboard now, "Finally we have Duncan." Chris announced."Try not to get your piercings wet." The host said as he was shown loading the gun with another cartridge of seagulls. Duncan rolled his eyes.

Chris shot off the cartridge of gulls as Duncan dodged them all. Now out of ammo Chris turned to the chair behind him. Duncan was shown on the board again as the chair flew towards him. This was followed by a standing light. Chris is shown again, looking around for something else to throw. Amy was passing by and Chris' face lit up.

"You gotta be kidding me." Duncan said, his eyes shooting wide open as Amy was thrown at him with a loud cry. Duncan dodged, sending the mean twin into the screen behind him.

"And with that," Chris Said "Duncan secures victory for the Killer Grips."

"Gnarly." The punk remarked with a finger gun as he walked away from the pool. Most of the Killer Grips cheered as Duncan approached. Gwen gave him a fist bump, then they high fived, fist bumped again and hugged.

Trent looked over at Sammy who was clearly a little sad about losing. Trent moved to comfort her, but a tan hand slammed down on Trent's shoulder. "You want to get voted out? Let her own team support her."

Alejandro clapped Sammy on the back. "Every leader loses a few battles. It's the end result that matters."

Sammy smiled at him. "Yeah, we could still turn this around!"

"See? She'll be fine." Noah told him.

"I don't know. Alejandro's not the best example." Trent frowned.

"That isn't your problem. You need to stop being so self sacrificing." The cynic said.

"If you at home like sacrifices," Chris leaned into focus, as beganto segway to commercials."you'll love what's up next!"

"What are we going to throw someone to the sharks?" Noah scoffed.

"Not this challenge. Thanks for the idea though." Chris smirked.

/

The episode returns by showing the faded broken sign at the abandoned film lot. The focus shifted outwards to show Chris and the contestants under the sign, most back in their normal clothing, with Topher being the sole exception. Welcome back to Total Drama Action!" Chris announced. "Where against all advice to the contrary, most of the players have changed out of their bathing suits. Hope you like swimmin' in your jeans," Chris huffed.

"Like we're actually going to a beach this time." Amy scoffed. " Next you'll say the bus is stuck in traffic."

At that moment a yellow school bus pulled up in front of them. "You were saying?" Chris asked.

(confessional)

Topher: Classic Chris. Tell us to come in our swimsuits the first time then lead us to a frozen set. Then make sure to empathize that we should stay in our swimsuits so that everyone changes out of them, assuming he's lying like the first time. See? It's all calculated.

Static

The contestants are shown to be in line to enter the bus. Sammy goes to move forward but Amy pushes her over. "Move it Samey, you don't deserve to get on before me."

Alejandro helped her up. "You need to fight back against her."

"How?" Sammy asked.

"You know her better than anyone else. What scares her, what makes her upset, you just need to use it." Alejandro said.

"I don't know." Sammy frowned.

The Spaniard placed a hand on her shoulder. "I understand. It's not the nice thing to do, but really how far has being nice gotten you with her?" Alejandro stepped past Sammy, who followed, biting her lower lip in thought.

/

Chris' legs are shown as he steps onto a sandy beach. The focus moves up to his face music from last season plays as he speaks. "Yes campers, we're actually back at your old stomping grounds Total! Drama! Island!" The focus moved back as it usually did when the name of the show was mentioned. Revealing the two teams standing in front of cordoned off squares of beach. Chris and Chef stood between them.

"If you need to take a moment and reminisce about the great times you had here," The host said. The contestants laughed, save Crimson, who remained deadpan, and Ella, who seemed to actually be reminiscing.

"Fine," Chris said with a flat look. "we'll skip the good memories montage. Killer Grips you've got a thirty-minute head start on," The focus shifted to pails and buckets in the cordoned off squares as several dramatic stings played. "the Sand Castle Building Contest! To be judged by our resident King o' the Dunes!" Chris gestured to Chef, who placed a crown that looked like the tower on a sandcastle in his head. "Make like prop masters, guys, and give me something awesome. I really don't want the tiebreaker to have to go down."

A trio of logs tied in a pyramid formation. "I don't think legal's quite approved it yet." The focus moved down to show the rope had a boulder tied on to the end and beneath it was a crash test dummy. The boulder dropped on to the dummy crushing it. The focus pulled back as the entire structure collapsed, then an orange car with a white one painted on its top drove off the cliff above as a tune played, crashing atop the pile.

/

The Grips are shown at their sandpit sans Duncan and Gwen.. "All right we need a plan and I have one." Trent said.

"Why should we listen to you?" Amy huffed.

"Because I'm team Captain?" The guitarist said.

"Some 'captain,' you've spent more time worrying about Samey than leading us." Amy pointed out.

"Her name is Sammy." Trent snapped.

"Whatever, I think someone else should lead." Amy said

"We can argue about that later, for now we need to focus." Noah said. "Unless you want Sammy's team to get the reward?" Amy huffed but didn't argue. "Good." the cynic looked around. "Anyone seen the gruesome twosome?"

/

Duncan and Gwen are shown to be standing in front of the bus they'd used to get there, the hood is up and Gwen chuckled as she threw a spark plug into a waiting bucket held by Duncan. "There if we're stuck at the beach we can sleep in the cabins. They look a lot nicer than the trailers."

"I've always been more of a dismantler than a builder anyway." Duncan said, approaching the hood himself.

"Not necessarily. You did help build a hot tub last season. I think you just like to stir up the-" Gwen began. Duncan pulled out a piece of the bus and the horn went off. "Stuff I was gonna say stuff!"

The two are shown in front of the hood. "We should disconnect the horn too." Duncan said as he slammed it into place.

/

Chris is shown looking at his watch. "Three, two," He counted down as he lowered the fingers on his free hand. Instead of saying one, Chef blew a trumpet. "Thank you Chef!" Chris said, the focus moved out to show that at this point the Grips have only managed to push together some sand into a cube. " Killer Grips, your thirty-minute lead is over, so," Chris walked to the gaffers. "Gaffers dudes, get castlin'."

Harold immediately got into action. "We need wet sand packed firmly!"

"Shouldn't we do some calculations first?" Ellody asked.

"No time!" The nerd said.

(confessional)

Ellody: I'll admit, I'm not good at just doing things. I like to plan things out, and making this castle without any calculations was really nerve wracking for me.

Static

Harold is shown working on the castle, which was mostly off screen at the moment. Crimson approached. "Crimson wetter sand in that bucket!" The goth walked off. Topher approached next. "Topher pack it firmer!"

"Who put you in charge?" Topher said.

"I'm a bit of a Gary buff." Harold explained. Topher just stared at him. "Frank Gary? Greatest architect of our time?"

"And I care why?" The blonde asked. Harold gestured to the castle he was building which was shaping up to look like the Taj Mahal.

"Harold seems to know what he's doing," Sammy said. "I think we should listen to him."

/

The Grips castle now had a few towers on it but it was clearly slow going. Amy glared over at the Gaffers castle, which at this point was looking nearly complete. She smirked as she noticed a shell nearby. "This could be great for our castle," She cheered 'accidently' throwing the shell over her shoulder in her excitement.

"My Butteresses!" Harold cried as the focus shifted to the Gaffers. A dent was now in the center of the castle and the rest of the sand was starting to cave around it. "Quick, before it collapses!" The ginger said as he moved to save his creation. Amber, Topher, and Ellody all moved to help.

"This is why you make calculations first!" Ellody said.

Sammy glared at Amy. The mean twin smirked back. "Oops, sorry!" Trent slapped the back of her head. "Ow! What was that for?!"

The focus is on the Gaffers as their castle collapsed. "Dang they busted by butteresses." Harold complained.

"Well what do we do now leader?" Topher smirked at Sammy.

"Um," The nice twin frowned.

"What if we made it out of something other than sand?" Crimson droned.

"It's a sandcastle contest." Amber pointed out.

"No, it's a prop sand castle contest!" Alejandro said.

"Crimson what did you have in mind?" Sammy asked.

The footage flashed forward to show the Gaffers as they put the finishing touches on their new castle. They had collected a large number of light tan smooth stones and put them together using wet sand as mortar. Together they had rebuilt the Taj Maharold though there were obviously less details.

The Grips meanwhile had built something that vaguely resembled a sandcastle but was nothing near as good as the Gaffers. Amy groaned. "Where are those badly dressed freaks?!"

Duncan and Gwen arrived at that moment. They looked at their team's castle. "Well that's just sad." Duncan said.

"You weren't here. You don't get to make that call." Trent said. The castle collapsed.

"No he's right. It's sad." Noah agreed.

"Worry not friends! We can still make it, with teamwork!" Ella declared, beginning on a new sandcastle as she sang. Noah, Duncan, and Gwen all rolled their eyes but decided to help.

The focus moved to Sammy and Alejandro watching the Grips from nearby. "I feel bad for Trent, but-" Sammy smirked. "Is it bad I'm enjoying Amy's misery?"

"Not at all. She enjoys yours, so why shouldn't enjoy hers?" Alejandro smirked back.

"I kind of agree. Amy's a nasty piece of work." Amber added.

/

Both Teams' castles are shown from a distance. The Grips had half a castle built that looked much better than the previous. Unfortunately Chef decided to call judgment then and gave the Grips a glare as he pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

"We have a winner!" Chris announced "Harold and the Gaffers' clever prop The Taj Mastone!"

The winning team cheered and Trent took a moment to blow a kiss to Sammy. The nice twin blushed back.

"Which means," Chris said pushing Sammy aside so he was in focus. "we need a new tiebreaker!" The host continued with a scowl. "And I was hoping for the evening off. Instead," He regained his hostly smile. "gather ye some wood, campers, for a fire of the bon variety."

/

Trent is shown walking through the woods, carrying a bundle of sticks. He comes across a large tree and in front Sammy is picking up some wood of her own. "Hey, I know we've been doing challenges, but it feels like forever since we had any quality time together." Trent said.

Sammy nodded. "I know what you mean. It sucks having to compete against you. I'm just glad you're so supportive Trent."

"Of course." Trent smiled.

"But some of your teammates seemed mad." Sammy admitted.

"It's fine." The guitarist said.

"What if they vote you off?" The nice twin asked.

"Let me worry about that." he said.

"Well..okay." Sammy said. "I'd better get these back to the beach."

"I'll see you!" As the sweet twin walked off Trent sighed happily.

"Well isn't that sweet?" A droll voice remarked. Trent turned to see Noah coming out from behind a nearby tree.

"You don't need to be sarcastic about it." The guitarist frowned.

"She's right to be worried." The cynic confronted.

"I'm sure the team understands." Trent protested.

"Really? What happens if you're wrong Trent? If you get voted out, you'll be of no help to Sammy." Noah said, moving to stand in front of Trent. " So I suggest you rethink your actions Trent. Or you'll see just how 'understanding' the team is."

/

The sky is dark, and a full moon rises to show a passage of time as occurred. Chris claps his hands and several tiki torches, with an actual fire in the center, light up immediately. "Why did you have us gather firewood?!" Amy snapped at the host, giving in a glare.

"I needed some alone time," Chris deadpanned. "You think these hands manicure themselves?" He asked holding his hand out to the mean twin. "Which brings us to the tiebreaking challenge!" The surf tune began again as Chris began to show a sample of old timey dance moves. "A watusi-twist-mashed potato dorky old school dance contest!" he announced "Teams! Choose your best boogier for battle!"

Topher and Alejandro stepped forward at the same time, with the former quickly backing down. "I'm sure you're better at dancing than me." The blonde responded to his questioning look.

With the Grips Amy smirked. "Trent should go."

"I heard you have come cool moves." Gwen agreed.

"Unless Trent doesn't think he can go against his girlfriend's team?" Duncan challenged.

Trent swallowed. "Okay. I'll do it."

/

The boombox is shown as Chris pressing a button starting the funky surf music again as Trent and Alejandro squared off. "I hope you're prepared to lose." The Spaniard said.

"Bring it." Trent replied.

The two mean backed away from each other and it became clear that both were very talented. Trent's shoulder movements matched the music perfectly and his feet shuffled smoothly. Alejandro meanwhile, had the grace and poise of someone who is well acquainted with dance, and his hip movements were amazing, as was befitting of his Spanish heritage. Both teams were clearly impressed.

(Confessional)

Topher: Definitely made the right call. I'm an amazing dancer, but Alejandro's in a league of his own.

Static

Gwen: Wow I knew Trent was good, but not this good.

Static

Amber: (blushing heavily.) Oh, the song is right. Hips don't lie.

Static

Noah: It was fine. (A hand from off screen gives him a thumbs down.) What? That is a compliment from me.

Static

Trent is focused on as he continues to dance. He glances at Sammy, who smiles brightly at him. He looks over at Amy and Duncan who are watching him carefully, as well as Noah who gave him a nod.

(confessional)

Trent: I didn't want to be responsible for Sammy's team losing, but if I don't try my hardest Duncan and Amy will notice. As much as I hate to admit it, Noah's right. If I get voted out, I can't help Sammy at all. So…I have to win.

Static

Two men continued to dance and they seemed evenly matched. The camera showed Chris and Chef, who were frowning. "This could take a while to decide…unless."Chris smirked.

The focus shifted back to the two men dancing when out of nowhere a seashell nearly hit Trent. "What the heck?!" The focus briefly shifted to show Chef was holding an armload of seashells and Chris was throwing them. Trent did his best to continue dancing. Dodging the shells as best he could. Alejandro meanwhile was doing equally good job, just as it seemed the contest would never end, a seashell nearly hit Alejandro's face.

"Watch where you're throwing those!" The Spaniard protested, but it was no use as the next shell actually did hit his face. Alejandro fell to the ground clutching his face.

Meanwhile Trent moonwalked across the sand just as the song was coming to an end. "And we have a winner! Trent and the Killer Grips! Your reward? The greatest beach party ever pitched!" As the Killer Grips cheered Chris screamed as his face was hit by sand. "Ow! My eyes!"

The focus shifted to show Amber helping Alejandro off the ground. His right eye is already swelling a bit.. "That's for hitting my boyfriend!"

(Confessional)

Alejandro: (Sighs happily) Amber's so beautiful when she's taking revenge.

Static

Sammy caught Trent's eye and pointed. The guitarist smiled and followed.

/

Sammy and Trent are now in the woods like earlier. "I'm sorry I made your team lose."

Sammy shook her head. "Trent, that was amazing! I could never be mad at you for trying your hardest. As long as you're still nice to me I'll be okay."

"You sure?" Trent asked.

"Definitely. I have Alejandro to help remember?" Sammy told him.

Trent sighed. "Just be careful, he doesn't always give the best advice." Sammy smiled at him reassuringly and the two kissed.

/

The starry night sky is shown before the focus shifts down to the Killer Grips enjoying their party. Two large buffet tables full of food have been moved into the space where the dance contest was and everyone is enjoying themselves. The focus shifts left to show that by contrast the grips look downtrodden and jealous. Alejandro his holding an ice pack to his eye. "If the losing team could just follow me to the bus?" Chris said pointing over his shoulder. Chef arrived covered in oil and whispered into the host's ears Chris scowled. "Which is broken." The host regained his smile. "Which means the losers have to stay and watch their rivals gorge on victory, and poi."

/

At the party Ella is dancing with twirls and waves. "You must teach me those dance moves Trent. They were so interesting."

"Please, I dance better." Amy scoffed. She began to dance herself, her moves having a lot of stomps and clapping.

"You're reminding me of those awful pep rallies at school." Noah deadpanned.

Gwen shuddered. "I hate pep rallies."

"Whatever." Amy huffed.

The focus shifted left to show the Grips on another part of the beach, Crimson is sitting by the lake, Sammy on a rock, the rest were all standing. Alejandro sits down on the rock next to Sammy. The nice twin sighed. "I'm glad Trent gets to party, but It still sucks to lose. Amy's gonna rub it in my face."

"Like I said before you should stand against her. Show her that no matter what she thinks you can be as good as her! Then you rub it in his-" Alejandro paused his eyes wide. "her face!"

Sammy smiled a bit. "You know that sounds nice."

(confessional)

Alejandro: I'll admit. I may be projecting on to Sammy, but I meant every word. This season is my redemption after I placed fifth last season. I am going to win and I will make as many allies as possible to do so. With Topher and Amber in an alliance with me, and Sammy's leadership role I will be unstoppable. Helping Sammy is just a bonus.

A pause symbol appears on screen and Chris is shown watching the confessional in the recording room. "Wow, Alejandro's still as crafty as he is good looking. Maybe we're related? Hah he wishes."

"No I do not Chris. I do not." Alejandro said on the screen. Chris turned the screen off quickly. "Poor delusional guy could never even swim in my gene pool," he told the camera. "More importantly, tune in next time to watch more me!" He laughed again. "Aaand a few minutes of Alejandro...," he stood up. "on Total! Drama! Action!" The host walked off saying, "Which one of you geniuses left the two-way mic on?"

Chapter Text

The recap began with a shot of the sun cresting over the water, followed by a shot of the sandy shore, A lone seagull with one of the plastic drink rings of a six pack around its neck rested peacefully on a buoy. "People have always been drawn to the beauty of the sea," Chris' voice overlay. This peace was quickly disturbed by a shark fin passing it. The startled Seagull flew off as the shark was revealed to be Chris with a prop fin on his head. "But that's not where we were last time!"

Ella is shown trying to ride the fake surfboard but the scene shifted to that of a tornado struck farm as Chef was shown turning on the giant fans which blew the princess wannabe off. "Ella's surfing adventure turned trailer park when a twister ruined her fun." Noah was shown trying to ride the board and losing his swim trunks. "And Noah was stripped bare." The host chucked as Noah covered his shame and ran off. "Nice pecs dude." Duncan is shown doing his run and dodging the seagulls. Followed by the Grips cheering and Sammy looking disappointed. "Thanks to Duncan's gnarly moves the Grips won the first challenge, Much to Sammy's disappointment."

Trent is shown comforting Sammy, followed by Duncan and Amy glaring at him, Noah stopping him from doing it a second time, and Noah confronting Trent in the woods. "Trent's team wasn't too happy with him supporting the leader of the other team. Even if she is his girlfriend." Amy is shown throwing a shell, which made the Taj Ma Harold collapse on itself, then it is shown rebuilt out of rocks as the Gaffer's cheered at their victory. "Amy tried to sabotage the grips by knocking down the Taj Ma Harold, but thanks to Crimson they rebuilt it better than ever and the Gaffers won the second challenge with their newly dubbed Taj Mastone."

Alejandro and Trent are shown in a dance off, followed by Chris getting bored and beginning to throw shells at the two dancers, then Alejandro collapsing to the ground when one hit is face, and finishing with Trent moonwalking. "Trent finally got his head in the dance as he and Alejandro got down. It was too close for my tastes so I spiced things up with a few seashells, and while Alejandro faltered, Trent completed his dance, Scoring the Grips a Hawaiian style luau."

Chris is shown standing on the beach set from last episode to end the recap. ":With only thirteen left, can the Grips continue their winning streak? Find out next, on Total Drama Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The episode proper begins with a shot of the sun high in the sky, the focus shifted to show Ella and Amy huddled desperately under a white and purple umbrella, clearly suffering under the heat. The focus shifted over to Sammy, Trent and Ellody in a similar situation under the yellow awning to the girl's trailer. It proceeded over the to boy's trailer where Harold slowly pulled himself into the window. "Too hot to do anything!" He complained, collapsing quickly.

(confessional)

Harold: My mad skills are leaching out of me, I can feel it, my mojo isn't sweatproof!

Static

Alejandro, Amber and Topher are in lounge chairs under the magenta awning of the boy's trailer. Alejandro and Amber are both on the same lounge chair, with the bookworm on Alejandro's lap. "It's too hot Chica." The Spaniard sighed.

"At least I get to see you dripping with sweat.." Amber smirked. Alejandro smirked back. Topher huffed and looked away.

The focus moved out to show Duncan soaking his feet in a bucket of water under a wooden bench while Gwen sat in an inflatable pool nearby. Finally Crimson and Noah are shown sitting under a tree."When people say they want the world to end in fire, they usually think that means it'll be quick, but if it's anything like this I'll pass." Noah sighed.

"I wouldn't mind." Crimson deadpanned. Noah fell over, his head landing on the goth's lap.

"It's over. Just let the heat death of the universe take me." the cynic moaned, closing his eyes. Crimson covered her mouth. Noah sneakily opened an eye and smirked.

(Confessional)

Noah: When Crimson covers her mouth it usually means she's smiling or laughing and doesn't want anyone to see. I love breaking through her carefully calculated aloofness.

Static

Crimson: You can't prove anything.

Static

The focus is on Chris' face, the brim of a cowboy hat is visible, and he has a toothpick in his mouth as he gives a thousand yard stare. He cocks a gun and shoots it off, causing the focus to shift quickly between several members of the cast as each of their reactions to the noise are shown. Gwen starts in the inflatable pool, Harold jolts upwards hitting his head on the top of the window he'd be lurking in, Sammy screams and grabs on to Trent shaking. "Chris!"

"My cranium." Harold groaned, rubbing his head.

"Take it easy," Chris told them, a revolver in each hand, "guns are loaded with blanks." He blew the smoke from the gun he'd shot into Harold's face, the holstered the revolvers with a twirl. " Least I'm pretty sure one of 'em is." He chuckled.

The host began to talk in a horrible western accent as he moved to the center of the area. "Since there's no beatin' the heat, we're goin' west this week! There's a town meetin' at high noon! Be there, or I'll drive ya deadbeats outta town!"

"If it weren't for the million I'd take you up on that." Noah said.

(Confessional)

Crimson: (The makeup people desperately try to reapply the goth's makeup, but it's of no use, the makeup starts to melt down her face.) If only my foundation didn't weigh so much.

Static.

The focus is on a silver pocketwatch in Chris' hand, it hits noon and Chris lowers it, revealing the western set from the first episode. A lonely tumbleweed rolls across the street, before lighting on fire and burning to ash.

A flash transition later and we see Amy, Ella, Sammy, and Trent. Crimson walks past and Amy gasps as Ella screams and both Trent and Sammy's eyes widen.

"How do you look like a bigger horror show than usual?" Amy remarked.

"I think the dripping effect is kinda cool." Gwen said.

"Listen up, pardners!" Chris said, as he closed the pocket watch and pocketed it. "In any good Western there are heroes, outlaws, horses, and pretty dames." As he spoke the focus moved out to show everyone is lined up under what looks like the bottom of a water tower. Chris walked along the contestants as he continued. "The hero defeats the outlaw, then rides off into the sunset on the horse."

"And the pretty dame?" Ella asked.

"None of your beeswax!" the host snapped harshly causing Ella to back up. Then he chuckled and pat her on the head. "Just messin' with ya! They usually hang out in the saloon during the bar brawl."

"Bar brawl! Cool!" Harold said, doing some really bad punches in the air and weaving his feet oddly. He passed Ellody who watched on, then Duncan who stuck his foot out and tripped the geek, causing him to land in the water trough.

"Awesome reenactment Harold. Most brawls do end with the loser in the water trough." Duncan remarked.

(confessional)

Ellody: It is a shame Duncan's self conscious nature makes him act out. That is no excuse for his behavior though. I will have to keep an eye on Harold, in case he should become injured.

Static

Harold sat up and shook his head to remove the water, it hit Noah in the face. "I'd say you were acting like a dog, but that would insult my golden lab."

"Enough with the sarcasm! All eyes on me!" Chris said as he shot off his revolvers into the air. "Time for your first challenge! No cowboy worth spittin' at would go one day without saddle practice," He continued as he twirled his guns and holstered them again. "Time to saddle up!"

The focus shifted to a brown horse with lighter brown spots, a darker brown mane, and white 'socks'. It was old, gaunt, and fly-ridden. As it drank from a bucket it front of it, it farted a nauseous green cloud.

"That's the best steed we could afford?!" Chris asked irately as the focus shifted to show Chef in a nearby shed working an adding machine. He wore a green visor.

"You want a five-star hotel, and champagne, and caviar for breakfast, hmm?" The cook said. "I gotta cut somewhere!"

Chris grinned. "It's perfect! Don't change a thing!"

(Confessional)

Ella: I love horses! They're such noble steeds! If Dawn was here she'd love this.

Static

Harold: I spent three summers at medieval Steve's medieval camp. We learned to joust, ride horses, and how to look manly in tights. It's harder than it looks.

Static

Trent: Who says a western has to end with the guy and his horse? That lone ranger stuff is overrated. Why not take the girl with you when you ride off into the sunset?

Static

"You call this a challenge?" Duncan scoffed, moving to mount the horse, which was now on a target.

"Not so fast," Chris said, as the focus shifted out to show everyone. "You cowboys and cowbabes are gonna have to mount the steed from up there," The focus shifted out to show the railing of the water tower. "Not there," Chris corrected. The focus zoomed out much further to show yet another ladder leading to a diving board far above the water tower. "waaaaaay up there!"

"Since the Grips won last week they go first," Chris continued as Noah and Trent gave each other nervous looks. "our unpaid interns have assured us it's safe." He gave a nod to his right and a ripple effect takes us back to Chef at the top of the board stomping down on an offscreen intern's fingers despite his protests.

"No! No! Ahhhhhh!" The intern screamed as Chef finally succeeded. He fell to the ground with a smack.

Chef smirked "Looks safe to me," He chuckled.

Back in the present Gwen is protesting. "We won last week. Why do we have to go first?"

"Because I said so!" the host snapped. "And I'm your host, Chris McLean."

"Looks like you're up Trent." Amy smirked.

"Actually I don't recall Chris saying the leader needed to go first." Noah smirked.

Gwen chuckled. "That's true, as leader Trent can decide who goes first." The goth said, indicating her head towards Amy.

Trent smirked. "All in favor of Amy?" Everyone but Ella and Amy raised their hands.

(confessional)

Amy: What is with everyone ganging up on me?!

Static

Sammy: Is it bad I'm enjoying this?

Static

A view of the diving board from below is shown briefly before cutting back to Amy. "This is insane!"

"Hey if someone has to die." Duncan shrugged.

"You know I bet Sammy would do it." Noah smirked.

Amy's gaze hardened. "Fine I'm going."

A view of the diving board from below is shown as the ladder sways, a flash transition later and Amy has finally reached the board. She looks over it and swallows.

From down below Sammy called. "What's the matter Amy? Scared?"

(confessional)

Amy; Where does Samey think she gets off talking to me like that?!

Static

Sammy: There's nothing wrong with taunting a member of the other team…right?

Static

Amy got a determined look on her face. "I'll show her." She ran to the edge of the board and jumped off. The view was below her as she plummeted.

(confessional)

Harold: (Writing in a notebook) Acceleration equals mass times the gravitational constant occasional equational. (He looks up from it) Not good people. Not good.

Static

The view is from above the target as Amy falls screaming loudly. A smack is heard as the horse whinnies from the impact. Amy groans. "Take that Samey." She manages to say before falling off the horse.

Sammy glances at Alejandro. "Um, do you think the taunt from earlier was too much?"

"Not at all. Like I said, you're just taking a stand." Alejandro reassured her.

Chris can be heard laughing from out of sight. "That was awesome, Amy!" The view shifted back to show everyone as the Grip symbol appeared in the upper left corner. "Grips: 1; Gaffers, you're up!"

Sammy took a deep breath. "If Amy can do it, so can I!"

A flash transition later Sammy is screaming as she jumps off of the board, she closes her eyes. A smack is heard off screen and it's revealed that Sammy has landed directly next to the horse. She groans. "Or not."

Amy laughs and Trent pushes her out of the way. "Hey what was that for?"

"I need to make my attempt." Trent told her.

/

The guitarist is shown jumping off of the board from below, then above as he falls it becomes clear he's going to miss the target. He screams and a crash is heard off screen. It's revealed Trent has landed on one of the fence posts right on his nuts. He falls over.

Chris winces at the sight. "Yeesh, glad it wasn't me! Grips: 1; Gaffers: Zip! Alejandro, you're next."

/

Alejandro is shown at the top of the platform with a confident smile. He jumps off the board in and elegant dive, flipping over the land on the horse with ease. He winks at Amber and she blushes. "And the Gaffers tie it up! Noah, let's go."

/

Noah is immediately shown jumping off the board and screaming he lands on the horse and heaves a sigh of relief before quickly jumping off the horse just as Duncan lands on it. "Nice. You know we're on the same team?" He groaned standing up.

"Exactly, I fall on you and you pad my landing. See? Teamwork." Duncan chuckled. Noah gave him an unamused look.

"Grips: 3; Gaffers: 1. Crimson your turn." Chris said.

A flash transition later and Crimson is jumping off the board with no expression. The horse looked up and whinnied in fear rising on its hind legs. Despite this Crimson managed to land in the saddle.

"Grips: 3; Gaffers: 2." Chris announced. As the goth walked back to her team Noah smiled at her. Crimson nodded back. Nearby Alejandro's eyes narrowed.

/

Ella is shown flying through the air during her attempt, her dress acting like a parachute, a strong wind picked up and blew her off screen where she screamed. From the ground Trent gasped. "She's headed for the electrical wires!" The sound of Ella being electrocuted is heard along with some flashes of light.

Amy turned to Chris. "You're gonna send someone to help her!" She ordered.

Chris began to laugh, only for the footage to pause as the focus zoomed out to show Chris in the security room holding a paper and very clearly reading his lines off it as he talks in a stilted voice. "We here at Total Drama Action care about the health and welfare of our competitors. Furthermore no animals were hurt in the making of this show."

/

The horse is shown drinking out of it's bucket was the focus moves up the ladder to show Ellody and Harold standing at the top. "With our knowledge of physics we should be able to accomplish this task." Ellody said.

"I agree, with my mad skills this will be easy." Harold said.

"We need only hope our impact isn't too hazardous." The genius said. The two jumped and landed on the horse. Harold grinned. "Wicked."

"Grips: 3; Gaffers: 4." Chris said. "Gwen?"

/

The goth is shown up at the top of the board she swallows. We hear Duncan call up. "You've got this pasty!"

Gwen smiled. "Let's do this!" She jumped off the board and landed on the horse. "Yes!"

"All right!" Chris declared. "The Grips and Gaffers are tied at four points each' The host walked to Topher and Amber. "It's up to you two to break the tie. Who wants to take one for the Gaffers?"

"Why don't you go Amber?" Topher said, pushing the bookworm. Amber grabbed his hand and pushed him forward as well.

"No, I insist, you must want to impress your idol." The brunette said. Both were right next to the ladder now. Glaring at each other they both grabbed it.

A flash transition later and both are shown climbing up the ladder on ether side. "I wouldn't be caught wearing a turtleneck on TV." Topher was saying.

"At least my hair isn't reminiscent of a greaser from the fifties." Amber retorted.

They kept climbing and Topher is shown climbing onto the board. "Well I'm not dating out of my league."

"Of course not, you're too busy fanboying over sadistic reality TV hosts, who haven't been relevant for decades." The bookworm smirked.

"Take that back!" Topher snapped as he pushed Amber off the board, Amber grabbed his hand, dragging him down with her. The two are shown falling from below, then the horse is shown drinking out of its bucket peacefully.

Sammy looked confused. "Where are they?"

"Not there." Chris said, pointing to the horse. "Way up there!" The focus shifted out to shoe Topher and Amber hanging from the weathervane at the top of the barn. Topher's pants had caught, as had the bottom of Amber's turtleneck.

The focus shifted to them as Amber;s shirt tore. "Oh no!" the fabric broke and Amber fell with a scream, only to be caught bridal style by Alejandro. She gasped. "Gracias mi Amarilis."

Alejandro smiled. "Is that a pet name?"

"It took a while to decide on one but yes." Amber told him.

"I love it,chica." the Spainard said.

"Okay enough with the mushy stuff!" Chris interrupted. "Looks like the teams are still tied at four a piece, on to the next challenge for the tiebreaker Cowpokes!" Everyone followed him as he walked off screen.

The focus shifted up to the weathervane where Topher is chuckling nervously. "You are going to get me down right Chris? Right?"

/

The contestants are shown lined up as Chris's legs move into a bow-legged position . The focus shifted out to show the host in front of the contestants. "The hallmark of any good Western is the quick draw cowboy showdown. Captains will pick their strongest cowpoke in what will likely be a fight to the death!" The host chuckled. His phone rang and he answered. "Yello? Uh huh? Fine." He hung up. "Our lawyers have informed me that you may shoot until someone is mildly injured or cries like a little baby, but a fight to the death is strictly prohibited. Time to pick your cowboys."

Trent turned to his team. "Listen, I know he said the strongest, but this is a shootout so what we really need is someone who's hard to hit. Noah you're up."

"What!" The cynic protested.

"Cool, Gaffers?" Chris asked.

"I volunteer my mad skills!" Harold said.

"Okay." Sammy agreed

/

Noah and Harold are shown standing in the road with their guns. The focus is on Chris as he says. "3,2,1, Draw!" An over the shoulder shot is shown as Noah dodges three shots from Harold, left, right, left. The same over the shoulder shot is shown as Harold bends so far backwards three of Noah's shots miss.

The focus returns to a wide view from the side. Both boys are completely dry.

Chris looked annoyed. "Seriously. Neither of you could hit each other?"

"Well don't look at me. I ain't lugging anymore water in this heat." Chef told Chris.

Chris huffed. "Okay new challenge!"

/

The focus shifts down from a mountain to Chris standing before the contestants with a fence behind him. The Grips stand to the left, and the Gaffers stand to the right. "Since Noah and Harold couldn't hit each other, your final challenge of the day will be calf roping." Chris said.

"How grand!" Ella clapped. "But where are the baby cows?"

"There aren't any." The host continued. "Gaffers are the cowboys, Grips are the cattle. The cowboys rope the cattle they win. The cattle dodge the cowboys they win."

"Well how do we know who's who?" Trent asked.

"Gaffers get to wear these stylin cowboy hats." Chris explained holding up a brown one. "Grips get to wear udders!" He continued holding up a hat that looked like an udder.

"You had to ask." Amy snapped at Trent.

"Well I think Trent can make the hat look handsome. He'll be udderly gorgeous." Sammy giggled.

(Confessional)

Sammy: Udderly gorgeous? What was I thinking!

Static

Noah: (wearing udder hat) Not. A. Word.

Static

Duncan: (Also wearing Udder hat) Stupid million bucks.

Static

Chris has one foot planted on a bale of hay. "Would the cattle care for some hay?"

"Would the host care for an udder sandwich?" Duncan retorted.

"I'm good." Chris said, not seeming intimidated at all. "Chef will now judge the competition. Yo Chef!"

The cook stepped on screen wearing a pink bonnet and matching shoulderless ball gown made out of a material see through enough to show his legs and underwear. He opened a pink fan.

"Love the dress Cheffette." Chris laughed and Chef growled. A flash transition later and Chris is being tied to a fence post by the cook.

"Maybe when I change, I'll come back and untie you." The co host glared, taking up his skirt and walking away.

"I can't feel my arms." Chris whined. He sighed. "Let the calf roping begin!"

/

The Grips began to run away and the Gaffers started to chase after.

Ella is shown first running away from Alejandro, who is wearing a black cowboy hat,. He throws his lasso and easily catches her. "So this is how the baby cow feels." The princess wannabe says.

Harold and Ellody ,both wearing brown hats, are shown running after Duncan. Harold throws his rope but Duncan dodges, before Harold can retrieve his lasso Duncan grabs the other end and pulls causing the rope to wrap around Harold. "Get out of that nerd!" The punk laughed. Ellody crouched down and began to attempt to untie Harold.

Sammy, wearing a white hat, is chasing after Amy. The mean twin comes to a halt and Sammy throws her lasso only for Amy to move aside, causing Sammy to lasso a stake instead. The mean twin laughed. "Next time aim for me Samey!" She ran and Sammy quickly got the lasso back so she could continue the chase.

/

Noah and Crimson, also wearing a black hat, back into each other. They jump back and Noah immediately runs the other direction. Crimson twirls her lasso around a few times and throws it catching Noah before he gets out of range. The goth tugged on the rope drawing Noah straight to her side. "Caught you." She whispered. Noah's face turned bright red and he fell over.

(Confessional)

Noah: (Still stunned) So that's what it's like to feel amorous.

Static

Crimson: And here people were saying my boyfriend wouldn't enjoy being hunted down like a prey animal.

Static

Sammy is shown chasing Amy once again. The mean twin smirked. "Just give it up, Samey!"

"Not until I rope you." Sammy replied.

In another section of the area Amber, wearing another brown hat, was chasing after Duncan, across from them Topher, in a dark blue hat, was chasing Gwen. Duncan looked at Gwen with a smirk. Gwen nodded and the two continued to run towards each other. As they reached each other Amber threw her lasso, as did Topher. With matching smirks the two ran down at the last second, causing Amber to lasso Topher, and Topher to lasso Amber. Both fell over.

"This is your fault!" Topher snapped.

"My fault? Your aim was just as lousy!" Amber retorted.

/

Alejandro, Crimson, Harold, Ellody and Sammy are all shown chasing after Duncan, Gwen, Amy, and Trent. The latter group comes across the ropes that had previously tied up Chris. They smirk and grab the lassos. Ellody and Harold ran with Duncan in hot pursuit. He threw his lasso and caught both in the loop.

Next Amy turned around and threw her lasso at Sammy, not deterred from her mission Sammy threw her own lasso and they both got caught. Gwen and Trent corner Crimson and manage to lasso her. Finally Duncan, Gwen, and Trent all threw lassos at Alejandro. Even he couldn't dodge all of them. Amber and Topher were still stuck in their own lassos and Trent grabbed the ends. Together the four uncaptured Grips brought the seven captured Gaffers to Chris.

"Well what do we have here? The cattle roped the cowboys. A bit unexpected but what the heck, the Grips win!"

The Grips cheered about their win. Noah smirked. "We won!"

Duncan smirked. "No thanks to you."

"I distracted Crimson." the cynic deadpanned.

"Right, 'Distracted'." The delinquent chuckled

Chris stood next to a fire with a poker in it. "You Gaffers are losers, And you know what happens to losers." With that he pulled something out of the fire, revealing it was not a poker but rather a branding iron with an L on the end. "Which Gaffer wants to take the heat?"

The Gaffers all gasped, save Crimson who walked forward, her face still deadpan. "Why not?" She shrugged.

(confessional)

Crimson: I've never felt heated iron on my skin. I imagine it's agonizing. (Despite her words she seems excited.)

Static

Chris put out the branding iron in a small trough of water next to him. "Legal says branding's out. Looks like I have to settle for booting one of you in the most exciting Gilded Chris ceremony evah!" He said "Now, go get a shower. You all stink."

/

Harold is shown sudsing his hair in the shower. A line of campers is behind him all in their towels, from left to right stand Duncan,Ellody, Amy, Ella, Amber, Topher, and Sammy.

"Harold, could you hurry?" The nice twin asked.

"Yeah, save some time for the people who need it." Topher added.

"I guess you would need extra time to get all the gel out of your hair." Amber snarked.

"My hair is all natural!" the blonde protested.

Duncan, having had enough, shook the barrel. "But I haven't finished sudsing my hair!" Harold complained.

"Right, sorry." Duncan smirked, dunking Harold under the water. He came up gasping for breath. "Took care of it. Now get out of the barrel."

(confessional)

Harold: Gosh there was no need to be rude!

Static

Duncan: What? Everyone else wanted him out too.

Static

Noah exits the showers in a teal towel. Crimson is waiting outside, her makeup no longer dripping down her face. "You didn't want to wait for Harold either?"

"I'm surprised anyone is." Noah deadpanned.

"I needed to redo my makeup after it started to drip off my face earlier." Crimson agreed.

"About that, if you wear less layers it won't be as bad." The cynic advised.

"I know, but then I don't look like the grave." The goth told him.

"Anyway, so your team's first elimination. Any idea who's on the chopping block?" Noah asked.

"Not sure, but it isn't Amber, Alejandro, or Topher. They're in an alliance." Crimson told him.

"Huh. Not too surprised. It was likely Alejandro's idea, and with Sammy as his patsy he has over half the team under his thumb already." The cynic nodded.

The focus shifted left to show Alejandro in the shadows listening in.

/

Topher and Amber are standing outside the craft tent when Alejandro arrives. "So our first alliance meeting. Who do we vote off?" Amber asked.

"I say we get rid of Harold, Ellody is enough brains for the team so he's basically useless." Topher suggested.

"You're just mad he took so long in the barrel." Amber said.

"So what? It's not like anyone has screwed up majorly today." Topher shrugged.

"Actually I have someone else in mind. You see, I found out today that our team has an information leak." Alejandro told them.

Topher's eyes widened. "Who?"

"Crimson." Alejandro said.

"Of course! She's probably strategizing with Noah!" Topher gasped.

"Yes, and now he knows about our alliance." Alejandro continued.

"We have to get rid of her." Topher agreed.

"What say you chica?" The Spaniard asked.

Amber nodded. "If you think its for the best mi amarilis."

"Then we're agreed." Alejandro smirked.

"Seriously though, is that the best pet name you could come up with? A flower?" The blonde asked Amber.

"Amigo, in floriology, Amarilis is representative of beauty, pride, and inner worth. I'm honored she chose to associate it with me." Alejandro explained.

Amber smiled at him. "I knew you'd get it."

(confessional)

Topher: How is Alejandro supposed to be the amazing villain I know he is if he's distracted by romance?

Static

The stage with the two giant Chris statues is shown as spotlights wave in front of it. A series of clips featuring Chris from last season ,several of them just him talking, roll over the screen in two parallel lines, a vertical line of clips include one where Chris is dress as a pirate rolls down between them, as two more clips, one of Chris in a helicopter and one of him with a clapboard, move out to either side, the focus zooms out to show a giant gilded Chris as fireworks go for in the background.

The Gaffers are all shown sitting on the wooden bleachers and voting on their devices. Crimson, Sammy, Ellody, and Harold on the bottom row, and Amber, Topher and Alejandro on the top row. The focus shifted to Chris standing in front of his podium in his tux. "The votes have been cast. If you get a gilded Chris, it means you're safe. For now."

Chef walked on stage in his normal cook's uniform save for a black tailcoat and purple bow tie. Chris looks surprised. "What happened to your dress?" Chef two of his fingers from his eyes to Chris.

"And the gilded Chris goes to Sammy and Elodie." Chris announced. Sammy beamed as she caught her chocolate while Elodie smiled smugly. "Alejandro, Amber, and Topher." The three all caught their chocolate. Tense music played as the focus shifted to Harold and Crimson. The nerd looks nervous but the goth remains as aloof as ever. "And last but not least…Harold."

The nerd caught his chocolate happily. "Yes! I knew you'd all appreciate my mad skills!"

"Crimson, it's time to go." Chris smirked. Crimson didn't even look upset or shocked. "Hello? This is the part where you get upset?" The goth remained deadpan. "Fine just go already!"

Crimson walked down the red carpet of shame, as she reached the lame-o-sine she was about to get in when a droll voice remarked. "Leaving without saying goodbye? How heartless of you."

Crimson turned to Noah. "I wasn't sure you'd show up."

"You think I'm as heartless as you are?" Noah scoffed.

Crimson sighed. "Being around all the other contestants without you will be draining."

"Yeah, but hey you can always read to escape from the mundane nature of reality." The cynic smirked, he handed her a book.

"The shadow over innsmouth?" Crimson read.

"You've probably already read it, but I figured it'd give you something to do." Noah said. Crimson remained silent. Noah leaned forward and kissed her.

Chef pushed the two apart. "It's a half hour show!"

Crimson got into the lame-o-sine as Noah called. "I'll miss you!"

(Confessional)

Noah: That makes the second time Alejandro's gotten my girlfriend eliminated. I relied on her a lot last season. She was basically my strength. Which means if I want to get far, I need allies. (He sighs) And I was hoping to avoid socializing.

The focus shifts out from the confessional to the monitor room where Chris is. "Looks like Noah's gonna have to up his game." He turns to the audience. "See all you groovy cats next time on Total! Drama! Action!

(bonus clip)

Crimson is sitting in the lame-o-sine reading the book Noah just gave her. She glances up at the camera. "Am I supposed to say something? I guess I'll miss Noah, but I don't really care otherwise. I'm probably going to lock myself away from everyone else and get lost in Eldritch horror." Someone says something off screen. Crimson sighs. "An aftermath? People only watch that kind of thing to forget about their pathetic little lives." With that the goth returns to reading.

Chapter Text

The episode begins with a series of purple rings moving up a black background, a series of small blue rings appear in their center and in the center of those rings the letters, T D and A fall through. Then they align on screen., big red and bold, as smaller letters of the same color spelled out aftermath underneath them. The D moved forward to transition to clips from the show.

Inside the confessional Geoff and Kitty are interrupted by a giant clawed monster hand reaching in and grabbing them. The rest of its arm is shown as it begins to walk off with them.

"I guess the confessional wasn't the best hiding spot." Kitty admitted.

"At least we're together babe." Geoff replied as dramatic music mounted in the background. The monster let go and they fell through the air. "I love you!"

"Me too!" Kitty replied,

The D flashed again.

What did I even do?!" Scott scowled.

"The scripts got messed up somehow." Trent pointed out.

"I had nothing to do with that!" The ginger protested.

"Sorry Scott," Amy said, not sounding sorry at all. "After all your sabotage last season you can't blame us for being suspicious

"And remember," Chris told him as he stomped towards the lame-o-sine. "you can never come back, ev-er!"

"Whatever Chris! I don't need your stupid show anyway!" Scott snapped as he entered the lame-o-sine. The vehicle is shown driving away as Scott popped his head out of the skylight. "As for the rest of you, take your million dollar prize and choke on it!"

Another flash of the D.

Crimson and Noah are shown sitting under a tree."When people say they want the world to end in fire, they usually think that means it'll be quick, but if it's anything like this I'll pass." Noah sighed.

"I wouldn't mind." Crimson deadpanned. Noah fell over, his head landing on the goth's lap.

"It's over. Just let the heat death of the universe take me." the cynic moaned, closing his eyes. Crimson covered her mouth. Noah sneakily opened an eye and smirked.

One last flash of the D.

Crimson sighs. "An aftermath? People only watch that kind of thing to forget about their pathetic little lives." With that the goth returns to reading.

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The opening graphic repeated itself. When it faded it was two show a set with a clear low table in the center and behind that table is a maroon couch with sofa pillows, above that couch is a set of hanging lamps in varied styles and colors. To both the left and the right of the main couch are two couches in various shades of blue and purple. Geoff and Kitty are sitting on the main couch. A live studio audience cheered as the show began.

"What's going on everyone?" Geoff began with a wave to the audience. "Welcome to the brand new, totally off the hook, Total Drama Action Aftermath show!" The audience cheered again.

"We're coming to you live to discuss all of the juicy details of Total Drama Action!" Kitty said.

"This is where the real action is!" Geoff cheered. "I'm Geoff,"

"And I'm Kitty!" The selfie lover chimed in.

"You may remember us from such series as Total Drama Island and it's even more thrilling sequel Total Drama Action!" Geoff continued.

"Which we were voted off first for being too much of a threat." Kitty sighed.

"I still can't believe they did that." The party dude frowned. "Even if it was strategic."

"But now we have our own show!" The bluenette cheered.

"And that's way more fun!" Geoff decided. The audience cheered.

"Now we can just hang with the fans and dish gossip on the new season! So what do you guys think of the film lot and movie motif? Pretty killer huh?" Kitty asked.

"We are so psyched to be here!" the party dude said.

"Speak for yourself blondie! Some of us were robbed!" The focus moved out to show all of the non competing contestants sitting on the couches to the right. Anne Maria is the speaker.

"I was speaking for myself, but glad you reminded us you're here. Anne Maria everyone!" Geoff introduced. The audience cheered and Anne Maria started working the camera immediately.

"We've brought along all our peeps from season one!" Geoff explained.

"They might have lost a chance at the million, but we still think they're cool right Geoff?" Kitty said.

"That's nice of you to say Kitty." Dawn smiled.

"Alright, We've got Cameron." Geoff began. The bubble boy was shown as he waved to the crowd, next to him a clip of him struggling to lift his head after a butterfly landed on it is shown.

"And Lightning!" Kitty added. The athlete was shown as he flexed his muscle, next to him a clip of him in a barrel of leeches is shown.

"Max!" The 'evil' man is shown glaring at the screen, next to him a clip of him being threatened by Jo is shown.

"Anne Maria," The Jersey reject is shown blowing kisses at the camera, next to her a clip of her spraying her hair is shown.

"Dawn and bunny!" The moonchild is shown with bunny on her lap, next to her a clip of her feeding bunny is shown.

"Xena!" The blonde just nods at the camera, next to her is the clip of her breaking her ankle is shown.

Jo is shown talking on a cell phone. "Shout outs to Jo!"

"I don't care about excuses, give me results!" The jockette barked into the phone.

"Oops." Geoff said, nervous. "And Tyler!" The clip of tyler water skiing when he first arrived on the island is shown.

"We've also got texts and emails from the fandom!" Kitty cheered.

"Plus we'll have a couple of you on webcam, which is super cool!" the party dude added.

"Scott will be here as well as Crimson!" The selfie lover explained. The audience cheered in response. Once the cheering died down Kitty continued. "It's weird, but I feel kinda bad for Scott, I mean he got voted out for a mistake Chef made!"

"Yeah but the dude was throwing challenges for his team last season, you can't blame everyone for jumping to that conclusion." Geoff pointed out.

"I feel no sympathy for him, given his past misdeeds, removing him was the most logical course of action." Xena deadpanned.

"It was still kinda harsh." Kitty noted.

"It's almost time to welcome our first guest, but first, take a look." Geoff said.

The focus shifted up to a large screen, static clears to show Scott being captured by the monster in episode one, followed by him eating one of the small prop oranges. "Scott's time on Total Drama Action was short, but still memorable, after all he began the season eating a fake orange." Kitty circled the orange Scott was eating.

Scott is now shown being soaked with slime, along with Amy and Ella, and rubbing it into his skin like lotion. "Later during the alien challenge got soaked in slime but he didn't seem to mind." the party dude said.

Kitty chucked and circled Amy's face in the background. "Amy looks like she might be sick."

"Serves her right after all the stunts she's pulled." Geoff added.

Chef handing the envelopes to the team leaders, and then Alejandro's heartfelt performance is shown. "Thanks to a mix up in script, Alejandro won the day with his adaptive acting," Scott is shown being eliminated. "And because Scott sabotaged his team so much last season he got blamed for it." Kitty finished.

The focus shifted back to the couch where Kitty and Geoff sat. "Our first guest grew up on a dirt farm, and sabotaged his own team multiple times, introducing Scott!" The selfie lover said she gestured left but Scott didn't appear. The focus shifted back up to the screen where Scott is shown in the green room eating horderves.

"This fancy people food ain't bad, it's no dirt clod though." The ginger stretched and stood up. "Well time to meet my fans!"

He walked through the door to a chorus of boos and cheers. Despite this, Scott seemed happy with the reception. He walked to the couch and sat down.

"Hey Scott." Geoff and Kitty greeted.

"Hey losers, can't believe they made you the hosts of this thing." Scott smirked.

"And to think Kitty feels sorry for you!" Geoff scoffed.

"He's just jealous he doesn't have a show." Kitty chuckled.

"True, and at least you were actually on the show unlike those losers in the gallery." the ginger goaded.

"Lightning ain't no loser! It's not his fault Noa lost the suitcase before he could steal it back!" The athlete argued.

"Sure blame the nerd, you jocks are good at that." Scott smirked.

"Oh that is it! It's on now!" Lightning tried to attack Scott but quickly found himself being held back by Anne Maria.

"Ey this is a classy show! An' if I can't be in the actual show I'm gonna make this worth my while! So sit down before you ruin everythin'!" The jersey reject snapped. Lightning sat down and crossed his arms angrily.

Geoff coughed to clear the air in the room. "So Scott, how did it feel to be the first one voted off the show?"

"I don't know Geoff, you tell me." Scott retorted.

Kitty Smiled. "Actually Geoff we were the first voted out."

"I bet it was humiliating." The ginger said.

"Well yeah, I mean it's like you just can't believe that everyone would vote you out and Hey-" Geoff paused. "I'm supposed to be asking the questions!"

"You're as bad at this interview thing as you are at winning." Scott smirked.

"In case you forgot Scott, you haven't won anything either." Kitty defended.

"I never said I had, this is about your failures not mine." The deviant replied.

"You were pretty mad at everyone for voting you out." The selfie lover said.

"Because I didn't even do anything! It's one thing to get voted off because people can't handle all the scheming you've done and another to get voted off for someone else's mistake!" Scott ranted.

"Would you say you regret scheming last season?" Geoff asked.

"Nope! I have no shame." Scott smirked.

"I think it's time to back up that claim! Let's play a little game called: Truth or Hammer!" Kitty cheered.

A gold statue of a woman with her hair in a bun is shown. She is wearing a blindfold and a toga dress, in her left hand she holds an old fashioned scale, in her right a sword, a giant wooden hammer crushes her.

"Works like this," Geoff chuckled. "We ask you a question and if you give the wrong answer a huge hammer will swing down and knock you clear out of your chair! Cool?"

"Like I'm scared of a hammer." Scott scoffed.

"Should we give it a test run?" The party dude asked. The hammer swung down and knocked Scott off his feet. The ginger got back in his seat.

"First question, you started off in a horrible position this season, so what was your strategy to make it through?" Kitty asked.

"I just figured I'd turn my teammates against each other, and if that didn't work I'd try to make an alliance with one of the interns." Scott said.

There was no hammer. Geoff's eyes widened. "Wow, you really haven't learned anything from last season. You actually tried to make an alliance with one of the interns?" The party dude paused as he listened to his ear piece. "I think we have a never before seen clip, awesome!"

The focus shifted to the screen above to show Scott by the production trailer talking to an intern with sandy blonde hair, and black oval shaped eyes. He's wearing a tank top and green jean shorts.

"Here's the deal, you help me win the game and I won't tell Chef I saw you sneaking food from his kitchen." Scott was telling him.

The intern's eyes widened as we hear Chef's voice bark. "That was you?!" The intern ran away with Chef chasing him. "Those potato chips were limited edition!" The hulking man yelled, shaking a first.

"Ooh, tough luck for the intern. That was some blackmail Scott! Look at the intern's face when Chef starts yelling," Geoff circled the intern's terrified face. The scene continued with the intern running away, the footage paused and Geoff circled Chef's fists. "Chef looks so mad! You think the intern got away?"

"I don't know, but if he did he'll wish he hadn't after I get to him." Scott said. He pointed at his eyes then somewhere off screen, the focus shifted to show that very same intern off to the side of the aftermath set. He looks terrified at Scott's implication.

"So everyone was right to vote you out!" Geoff claimed.

"Hey, I didn't succeed at making the deal, and I barely messed with anyone on my team!" Scott huffed.

"But you were going to." the party dude pointed out.

"He was still voted out of something he didn't do Geoff." Kitty said.

"Who cares! After what he did last season he deserved it!" Lightning added.

"For once I agree! That sucker sabotaged me, and worse he ruined a perfectly good can of hairspray!" Anne Maria said.

"I wasn't on his team, but sabotaging your own team is against everything I stand for!" Tyler said.

"Funny, considering the dodgeball challenge." Scott smirked.

"Hey! I was doing my best!" Tyler retorted.

"Everyone please! There's no need to fight!" Dawn tried to mediate.

"Excuse me? You were on our team too!" Anne Maria snapped.

"Okay, Okay!" Kitty said to get everyone to quiet down. "Why don't we show a little montage of all the things Scott did last season?" The crowd cheered.

34

The focus shifted to the screen above. The first clip shown is Scott refusing to jump off the cliff. "Scott started out the season by refusing to jump off the 1,000 foot cliff." Geoff began.

" It was pretty dangerous." Kitty said.

"True that." Geoff nodded.

The next clip shown was Scott hiding Lightning's protein powder. "Then he stole Lightning's protein powder and hid it under his bunk to make him look bad." The party dude continued.

"Not that Lightning helped his situation." Kitty noted. '

The next clip was of Scott getting Ellody to the sound system, then him turning the sound up, and then him telling a few members of the Bass about it. "In episode five he told Ellody something was wrong with the sound system, sabotaged Harold's act, then pinned it on Ellody."

The next clip was of Scott breaking the valve on Anne Maria's hairspray and throwing it at the campfire, burning his teams next to cinder. "Then he set his own team's tent on fire using Anne Maria's hairspray."

The next clips were of Scott taking the tiki idol cutting holes into one of his team's canoes and planting it in Geoff's stuff. "He stole the cursed idol from Boney island and planted it in my stuff!" Geoff complained.

"Not to mention cutting holes in one of his team's canoes in an attempt to frame Duncan." Kitty added.

The next clips were of Scott antagonizing Alejandro and deliberately being rough with the pastry crust. "He fought with Alejandro in the cooking episode, and intentionally overworked his dough."

Scott is shown attempting to make a deal with Duncan, then a clip from later that challenge shows him trying to trip the punk. "In the finale, he tried to convince Duncan to help him sabotage Trent, and when he wouldn't agree to it, he tried to trip Duncan."

The focus shifted back down to Geoff and Kitty. "You gotta admit Kitty, it's a long list." The party dude said.

"And you didn't even show the time he betrayed me when we were all trying to get the million dollar case! As proud as I am that my sidekick is capable of such evil, it was still bad." Max added.

"I still feel a little bad, but what do the viewers think? To answer this question I set up a poll to see how the fans felt about it. The results are surprising. A seventy-thirty split in favor of Scott deserving it." Kitty said.

"Wow, that many people feel bad for the guy?" Geoff frowned. "Guess it's less personal when you're just watching."

"Now on to some fan questions! Gluepunks350 asks: If you had gotten farther in the game who would you have targeted?" Kitty asked.

"Probably Trent, the guy was a mess to begin with. I could probably get him to not try as hard for Sammy's sake or something. Maybe even get him to sabotage the team for me." Scott smirked.

"Why would Trent do that?" Geoff argued.

"I don't know, people do crazy things for love, and Trent is just the kind of guy to do them." the ginger shrugged.

"Next question, T0talDramaLuvr34 asks: Now that you're out of the game, who do you hope wins?" The selfie lover asked.

"Duncan, the rest are too soft for me. Especially Al." Scott said.

"Well you heard it here first folks! Next we'll take a break and when we come back we'll have Crimson on!" Kitty said. The audience cheered.

"We'll be right back." Geoff agreed.

The aftermath logo is shown and the D transitioned to a pile of ground mystery meat on a plate, flies swarmed around it. The focus zoomed out to show Chef standing behind a cream and brown striped tablecloth spread over a small circular table with two chairs at it, behind him is a fireplace. In his left hand he holds a plate with a large hunk of meat on it. Said meat has a skunk's tail on its end. "This episode of TDA: Aftermath, was brought to you by: Chef's Roadkill Cafe, where Sundays are, bring your own meat, you hit it, we spit it."

The aftermath logo is shown and the D transitioned back to Geoff and Kitty on the aftermath set. "Welcome back to the Total Drama Action: Aftermath!" Geoff introduced.

"We just finished out interview with Scott, so now it's on to Crimson!" Kitty Said.

The focus shifted up to the screen static clears to show Crimson. First a clip of her staring down Chef in the giant monster suit, then of her finding the key in the food buffet. "Crimson started off strong, staring down an animatronic monster, and finding the key to the trailers for the girls." Geoff began

Next Crimson is shown sneaking into the vents with Noah in the alien episode, then the Taj Mastone is shown. "She teamed up with Noah in the alien episode, and helped win the castle making challenge in the beach episode!" Kitty continued.

Crimson talking to Noah is shown, followed by Alejandro talking to Amber and Topher, then finally her goodbye kiss with Noah. "Things took a turn for the worse last episode, when Alejandro found out Crimson was telling Noah about her team! With such an information leak Crimson was eliminated, but not before saying goodbye to her boyfriend." Geoff said.

The Focus returned to the couch as Kitty introduced Crimson. "She's a hardcore goth, and a bit of a masochist, Crimson!" Kitty gestured to the left as Crimson stopped just off set. She takes a deep breath, then walks on with her usual deadpan stare. The audience cheered wildly. Crimson sat down without a word.

"Welcome to the show Crimson." Geoff said. Crimson didn't respond. The party dude looked at Kitty nervously. Kitty shrugged. Geoff cleared his throat. "So, you mind if we ask you a few questions?"

"It doesn't really matter if I do. You'll ask anyway. That's how these shows work." Crimson deadpanned.

Kitty decided to take over. "After making it so far last time it's gotta suck to be eliminated so early."

"Not really." Crimson replied.

"Seriously? You missed out on a million bucks." Geoff pointed out.

"Money's fine, but the chances of me winning it were low to begin with." The goth said.

"So, do you miss anything about being on the show?" Kitty asked.

"Careful how you answer this, there's a giant hammer that could knock you for a loop!" Geoff chuckled.

"Yeah. I miss Noah." Crimson admitted. No hammer came down. The audience awwed.

"Seriously?" Jo said incredulously from the peanut gallery. "You actually miss scrawny?"

"I like being around him." the goth said.

"Why?!" Anne Maria asked. "I mean, he's not good lookin', an' he's a twerp. Not ta mention he don't seem to be affectionate."

"That's actually something I noticed too. I mean, you've only kissed twice, and Noah only started one of them." Geoff pointed out.

"He shows it in other ways," Crimson told him.

"Yeah did you forget all the sweet moments they had in season one?" Kitty asked. The focus shifted up to the screen, which cleared to show Noah and Crimson on the porch of the cabin in the talent show episode. "Remember when they quoted that poem together?" The next clip was of Crimson without her wig and make up during the phobia episode. "Or the time Noah said he didn't care what Crimson looked like she was still the same person?" Kitty showing the poems she'd found to Crimson, and her finally getting one back are shown. "Crimson sent him all those little poems, and he gave her one back." Noah is shown leaving a book outside the girl's cabin for Crimson. "He gave her a collection of Poe's stories, knowing how much she likes horror." Noah talking to Crimson after she helped him catch his frog is shown. "And he told her she was the only one he trusted during the animal challenge."

The focus moved back down to Kitty and Geoff. The party dude was nodding. "Yeah, I guess he's just not as open about it."

"Public Displays of Affection are lame anyway." Crimson deadpanned.

"It must have sucked to end up on opposite teams." Kitty said.

"It did, but we still hung out." the goth said.

Geoff listened to his earpiece again. "I think we have another never before seen clip showing exactly that."

The focus shifted up to the screen again. Static clears to show Noah and Crimson hanging out on one of the benches just outside the trailers. It is night and they are alone. "So how you holding up?" Noah asked.

"Alright. I'm really tired of Amber and Topher fighting, Harold keeps trying to impress Ellody and it's pathetic, and Alejandro's plotting. I just try to ignore it." Crimson admitted.

"Sounds like you have it worse. I mean Trent and Amy fight, but what else is new." Noah shrugged. "Teen Drama is so stupid."

"Sometimes I just want to lock myself away from everyone and never come out." the goth whispered.

"Me too." the cynic agreed. Crimson wrapped her arms around him. "What's this for?"

"Listening, you'd be surprised how few people do that." Crimson said. Noah smiled.

The focus shifted back down to Kitty and Geoff. "That's so sweet." The selfie lover said.

Crimson was looking at the floor. "You weren't supposed to see that."

"Moving on, we have some questions from the fans!" Kitty said. "Pixiecorpse asks: If you had won the money what would you do with it?"

"I'd take a trip to Transylvania. I've always wanted to go. Maybe go on a castle tour and go to the London torture museum" Crimson answered.

"Interesting. Marilyn1313 asks: What's your best friend Ennui like?" The selfie lover asked.

"He's a lot like me. We're both pretty deadpan people. We both hate sunlight, socializing, and peppy people." The goth said.

Kitty smiled. "Do you miss him?"

"Of course, but I know he's been watching the show to support me." Crimson deadpanned.

Geoff smirked. "What if I told you we have Ennui on webcam right now?"

"I'd like to talk with him." the goth said.

The focus shifted to the screen again, static clears to reveal a pale goth with black and a red fringe, yellow eyes with black circles painted under them, black lipstick and a red goatee with a piercing on either side of it. "Hey." He deadpanned.

"Hey." Crimson replied.

"How have you been since you got eliminated? I know how much you hate talking to people." Ennui said.

"It's been awful, but I've managed." She replied.

"I notice you've been more emotional lately." The male goth said.

"Yeah, I know it goes against what we strive for, but I can't help it. He just makes me feel, you know?" Crimson said.

"If he is able to provoke such feelings from you, then you clearly care about him." Ennui nodded.

"Yeah, I hope you get to meet him one day." the goth told him.

"I will await that day with anticipation." He said.

There was silence for a moment as they stared at each other, like they were having a conversation only they understood. "Bye.' Ennui said.

"You too." Crimson nodded.

The focus shifted back down to Kitty and Geoff on the couch. "Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you were similar." Kitty said.

"That was oddly sweet." Geoff admitted. "So who's ready to talk to some fans on the webcam?" The audience cheered. "We've got ginger from Sudsbury! What's up Ginger?

A girl with ginger hair in pigtails held by light purple ponytails, round glasses, dot eyes and a matching purple top appeared on screen. "Oh my gosh Crimson! You're so cool! When you scared away those sharks in episode one I screamed!"

"Well it looks like someone has a fan." Kitty said. Crimson had no reaction. "Thanks Ginger, we've also got Steve the… Yeti? From Vancouver!"

The focus moved back up to the screen where static clears to show the sasquwawanakwa. "How's it going, dude?" Geoff asked.

The yeti spoke in a low growly voice. "Chris McLean-" The voice immediately became recognizable as Chris' "is the best host ever! How'd you get your own show?! You stink!"

Chef's voice came from off screen. Yo, Chris! If I wanted to take a hot tub by myself, I–" The 'yeti' was looking at the camera sheepishly. "Ooh, you on the webcam?"

"Chris?!" Geoff and Kitty gasped. The audience laughed.

A teal flip phone is shown going off on the table. "Ah! And we've got a call!" Geoff answered. "Hello?"

"Forget those losers on the show! Lightning's the real deal!" A voice on the phone said.

"You're a Lightning fan? Why?" Kitty asked.

"Because he carries his team to victory! Sha Bam!" The voice said. Kitty gave the phone an unamused look and turned to face the peanut gallery, where Lightning is holding a phone. He closes it. The audience laughs again.

"You think that's funny, get ready to laugh your guts out! It's time for That's Gonna Leave a Mark!" Geoff said.

A montage of clips featuring the cast getting injured in hilarious ways move across the screen. Jo getting hit by a coconut, Tyler wiping out on his waterskis, Geoff falling out of a tree and hitting every branch on the way down, and Duncan with the turtle puckshots are a few.

Kitty smirked from her spot on the couch. "Who doesn't love a little slapstick?"

"Dudes, here's what you didn't get to see on the show." Geoff said.

The focus shifted up to the screen again. Static clears to show Alejandro walking behind set during the movie making challenge when a hanging light falls down to hit him. Geoff circles the light. "Looks like it's lights out for Alejandro" Kitty giggled.

Duncan is on the city set staring up in fear. Geoff draws a clown nose and wig on him. "I'll say, and here's Duncan about to get his head caved in by a monster!" The giant foot of the animatronic monster stomps down on Duncan.

On the beach Amy is attempting to build the Grips castle when her hand is pinched by a crab, Geoff circles it. "Ouch."

"Looks like Amy's getting karma for the way she treats her sister." Kitty chuckled.

In the western episode Noah is trying to undo the ropes around him when he slams his head on a fence post. "Oh man! At least it was above the belt!"

In the alien challenge Chef slips on some green goo and slams into the metal grate floor. "Now that's gonna leave a mark!"

The focus shifted back down to Geoff who was wiping a fake tear from his eye. "Oh, that was brutal."

"Totally, but that's TV for you. Your pain is other people's entertainment!" Kitty said.

"People only find pain funny because it distracts them from the problems in their own life." Crimson deadpanned.

"Well if we can make a few people forget about their issues for even a few minutes then I'd say all the pain is worth it." The selfie lover said.

"How sweet. I'll be sure to remind you that the next time you get injured." Scott remarked sarcastically.

"We still have a giant hammer to hit you with." Geoff reminded him.

"Well I think it's time to wrap this thing up!" Kitty said. "We'll see you next time."

"We got a huge season coming up." The party dude continued.

"And we'll be covering it all on the aftermath!" the selfie lover cheered.

"So stay tuned! Don't forget to join Chris next time for the most dramatically filling episode of Total. Drama. Action." Geoff concluded.

Chapter Text

The recap begins with focus on the sun high in the sky, the focus shifts down to show the western town set, and then a tumble weed rolls through and catches alight burning to ash. Then Chris' legs stepped into view in a bowlegged stance, The horse from the previous episode is shown farting, then Amber is shown climbing up the ladder, followed by a pov shot underneath the ladder, then a distance shot showing the entire set up, with the horse fall down below. "Last week the dry desert heat baked our favorite partners like roadkill on the blacktop. But crispy bottoms or not, they still had to mount their ancient steed, From a hundred foot platform!" He chuckled.

The Gaffers are shown chasing after the Grips with lassos. Alejandro ropes Ella, Amy chases after Sammy, and Harold tries to get Duncan but ends up failing. Then Noah is shown getting caught by Crimson, followed by the two talking outside the showers, Alejandro being revealed watching, Alejandro talking to Amber and Topher and Crimson's goodbye with Noah. "But that wasn't all, the calf roping contest had the teams lasso each other. When Crimson caught Noah, sparks flew, but not for long, as Alejandro overheard her revealing his alliance to Noah. He then used said alliance to eliminate her, but not before a far too lengthy goodbye with Noah."

The gaffers are all shown captured by the grips, followed by Chris hand holding a silver pocket watch as it struck noon, and finally Chris in front of the two trailers to close out the recap. "Killer Grips won the west and only twelve remain. Can the Grips keep up their winning streak? See for yourself, next on Total Drama Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The episode proper begins with a shot of the sun rising in the sky, the focus shifts down to the boy's trailer, then goes inside. Where all four boys are shown sleeping. An air horn goes off, causing Duncan to shoot awake and bump his head on the ceiling. He groaned as Harold was shown wiping drool from his lips, Topher is shown stretching, and Noah is shown groaning. Duncan jumped off his bunk first. "Whiz dibs, I called it" He exclaimed. His hand is shown pulling on the door handle but it doesn't move. He keeps pulling. He turns to the others. "A little help?"

"I say we use Harold as a battering ram." Noah smirked.

"I'm game." Duncan smirked back.

:"Hey!" Harold scowled.

(confessional)

Harold: I don't know why Noah dislikes me so much. I mean we're both nerds! We should be sticking together!

Static

Noah: Harold is obnoxious, and he thinks we're friends. Dude can't take a hint

Static

Alejandro stepped in. "Gentleman please, there must be a better way to get out than causing one of us grievous bodily harm?"

"I'm not sure Gentleman is the right way to describe some of us." Topher smirked, looking at Duncan, Harold, and Noah.

"With my mad skills we'll be out in no time!" Harold declared. Noah is shown rolling his eyes while Duncan shook his head, then the focus shifted outside of the trailers, over to the girl's trailer and inside where Ella is desperately trying to open the door. The focus moves over to a very anxious Gwen. "They've gotta open the door, right?! I have claustrophobia."

"Whatever gothie, think about the real injustice here. How am I supposed to brush my hair and apply my makeup if we're stuck in here?!" Amy snapped.

"Not that you have much hair to brush anymore." Amber smirked.

Amy looked like she was about to snap at Amber when Ellody intervened. "We must put aside our personal feelings towards each other and work together to accomplish our goal. Which is currently getting out of here."

Gwen looked up at the ceiling to the trailer and the focus shifted up to show a panel at the top that could be opened for fresh air. "Up there! Maybe one of us can squeeze through!"

"Okay, Samey you do it!" Amy ordered. There was no response to the order. Everyone looked around to see the younger twin was absent.

"Huh? Where is Sammy?" Ella wondered.

(confessional)

Amy: This is just like Samey! Never there when you need her, always there when you just want her to leave you alone!

Static

"it doesn't matter where Sammy is. We need to figure out who to hoist up there." Ellody said.

"Amy's a cheerleader right? So she's flexible and used to balancing on top of other people." Amber said. Everyone turned to Amy.

The older twin huffed. "Fine, if you're all too pathetic." Then she muttered. "Stupid Samey, where is she?"

/

The focus is on the crafts and service tent. It cuts inside to show Sammy is in the kitchen with Chef. She looks incredibly nervous."So uh, what did you want to talk about Chef?"

"Look kid, that Alejandro is playing you like a fiddle. He's just gonna use you til he don't need you anymore and get you voted out. I meanwhile would be willing to help you win if you agree to split the prize money fifty-fifty." Chef said.

Sammy's eyes widened in horror. "Wait, are you suggesting I make an illegal alliance with you?!"

Chef got in her face. "I'm not suggesting it. You are making an illegal alliance with me. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Your choice."

Sammy swallowed. "Can I think about it?"

"Fine, but don't make me wait too long." The cook growled.

/

Meanwhile back in the guy's trailer it seems they had the same idea as the girls. Alejandro is at the bottom of the stack, followed by Duncan, Topher, and Harold. Noah was working to climb to the top. He was on Topher's shoulders and was working his way up Harold. He stepped on his shoulder and was currently trying to get the other foot on the second. He hit Harold's face instead.

"Ow! Watch the face, the ladies would never forgive you for marring my visage!" The nerd complained.

"Actually I think they'd thank me." Noah remarked

"Noah I've been trying to befriend you all season, you'd think you'd be nicer!" Harold said.

"That's the problem Harold, you assume I want to be friends with you!." Noah snapped, finally getting his foot on Harold's shoulder and moving to stand.

"You don't?" The nerd frowned.

"As much as I'm enjoying the drama, can we hurry it up here?!" Topher asked.

"Indeed, I fear Duncan will not support your weight much longer." Alejandro said.

"Hey, I'm fine." Duncan snapped.

Noah reached the panel, only for Topher to lose balance and send the whole pile crashing to the floor. Topher ended up on top of Alejandro , Harold ended up with his butt in the air, and Noah ended up with his face on Duncan's chest, which was bare due to him being in his boxers. Sunlight spread over the scene indicating a door had been opened. A chuckle can be heard before Chris' familiar voice said. "Hope you all enjoyed your first taste of the gulag."

The boys quickly moved to right themselves. Topher chuckled nervously, a blush on his face as he got off Alejandro. "Sorry." He muttered, helping the Spaniard to his feet. Noah shot up as quickly as possible as did Duncan.

"We will never speak of this again." Noah said.

"Agreed." The punk nodded.

The focus shifted outside of the trailer as all the boys joined the girls, and Chris in the main area. The host himself was dress in a full police uniform, hat, boots, shirt, pants, badge, and name tag. He also wore a pair of sunglasses.

"Your day's about to get a whole lot worse, Because today… is prison flick day!" The host announced cheerfully, as a prison set is shown, complete with barbed wire brick fence and stand-in prisoners.

Ella, Amy, Harold, Amber, and Topher are all shown groaning. The focus shifted to Noah and Duncan. "Fantastic." The nerd deadpanned. He turned to Duncan. "At least you'll be good at this challenge."

"It was only juvie so don't get too reliant on me." The punk replied.

Chris launched into his speech, more excited than usual. "Ah, prison. The confinement. The claustrophobia. The vile, nasty food. And you're always looking over your shoulder 'cause Mr. Killer Dude wants to cut ya for taking the last tater tot! And no matter how hard you try, digging out spoonfuls of dirt, year after year, there's no escape! " He calmed down. "Unless you get voted off, of course."

(confessional)

Harold: Talk about overkill. This place is plenty prison-like already. Not that I'm complaining. I mean, I should probably be locked up for the ladies' sake anyways.

Static

Chris is shown standing between two hanging cages, to his direct right is a cloth covered cart. Behind him is a backdrop of several barred cells. The teams both stood before a long table each, covered in cooking materials.

"Lock down, people! Let's get this challenge started! Teams, take a prisoner from the competition!" Chris said. Chef arrived next to him in his military uniform. "And Chef — I mean… warden, lock 'em up."

The focus shifted to the Grips. "We should lock up Samey!" Amy decided.

"No! We don't know what the challenge is but I'm not locking my girlfriend up." Trent snapped.

"Actually I think we can figure out the challenge." Noah said.

"How do you mean?" Gwen asked.

"Look at the tables. They're covered in plates, bowls, measuring cups, pots and pans. So the challenge is cooking related and if there's one thing I know about prison flicks it's that the food is always nasty." The cynic explained.

"So we need someone who'll puke easily!" Duncan smirked. "I think we know the guy."

The focus shifted over to the Gaffers.

"Who do we send in?" Amber asked.

"From observation of the table behind us, I deduce the challenge will relate to cooking." Ellody said.

"Good eye, and we know someone on the other team with a weak stomach, don't we?" Alejandro smirked.

"Yes we do," Topher smirked back.

"Choices? Gaffers?" Chris asked.

"Trent." Harold said. Sammy looked at the floor guilty.

"Grips?" The host said.

Noah smirked. "Alejandro." The Spainard's eyes widened in horror.

Chris made his way to the cart. "You know I was hoping for a big reveal, but you clearly figured it out already." The host smirked. "Today's first game is…" He pulled the cloth off of the cart revealing it to be filled with disgusting food. Green rotted chicken, half eaten cakes, orange mush, rats, and roaches. "Each team of prison chefs whips up the foulest, nastiest, most barf inducing slop this side of Alcatraz. "

As the host spoke Noah was shown high fiving Duncan, and Alejandro was shown looking sick already.,

"Alejandro and Trent, have to stomach as much as they can. Last one to power-hurl, wins! The host concluded.

As Chef moved to put Trent in his cell the guitarist protested. "Dude I can't go to prison I'll break!"

"That's what they all say." Chris smirked.

(Confessional)

Alejandro: Truly I was hoping the other team hadn't realized the nature of this challenge. Anything else and they wouldn't have chosen me. My body is going to hate me for this, but I can't look weak to my team.

Static

The focus moved down one of the tables to reveal all of the dishes now have some kind of gross food in them. From Chef's paste, to maggots, weird red mush with what looked like hair growing out of it, and at the end of the table a large bowl. The focus shifted to Trent. "I'm fine." He covered his mouth and swallowed. "Totally fine."

"This reward had better be worth the damage done to my body." Alejandro said from his cage, also looking ill already."

"Have I ever let you down?" The host asked. "Wait, scratch that. Anyway, the winning team gets this!" He held up a golden shovel.

"Why would we ever need a shovel?" Ella asked.

(confessional)

Harold: Everybody knows more wars have been won with a shovel than a sword. Give a man a" hole, and what does he have? Nothing. But give a man a shovel, and he can dig a hole to contain the nothing.

Static

"Prisoners ready?" Chris asked holding up both his arms. "And… colonate!" He finished moving his arms down in a signal to begin.

Topher grabbed the roaches off the plate next to the bowl and threw them in, followed by Harold throwing in some weird pink goop, then he threw in some horse lips. Ellody threw in some rat tails, and Amber spat in it. All the while Chris commentated. "Topher goes right for the roaches! Harold tops it off with some slimy anchovy paste, and oh! Here come the horse lips, with a few rat tails and spit for garnish!"

Meanwhile at the Grips table Duncan had thrown in a whole bunch of maggots, Gwen added some of the red mush, Noah was crushing it all in the bowl. "A whole lot of maggots are going into the Grips concoction." Chris noted.

"Why aren't you helping?" Noah looked at Ella who was doing nothing.

"My friends, I won't stop you from pursuing victory, but I cannot bring myself to do this." Ella told him.

"It's Alejandro, he deserves it." Gwen told her.

"Hey, lay off her!" Amy glared as she came to the table with a hairbrush. "This has all of Samey's hair in it!"

As Amy began to take the hair out and sprinkle it on top of the rest of the sludge Chris began to commentate again. "And what's this?" He began to sing. "On top of some maggots, all covered in hair, and Al has to eat it, cause life just ain't fair."

"Time's up!" Chris announced. " And jailbirds, hope your appetites are primed!"

Noah brought the Grips concoction to Alejandro, smirking as he looked at his horrified face. "Hope you're hungry Al."

Harold was presenting the Gaffer's concoction to Trent. "We have the braised horse lips with the goat brains fricassee and the fish gut reduction, topped off of course with the toenail clippings. Bon appétit."

Trent swallowed. "Oh is that all? That's nothing."

"Are you maggots ready?! One minute to down that chow! And… dig in!" Chris ordered.

Both boys stared at their dishes in disgust, but eventually they both moved the spoons towards their lips. Alejandro's enter first and he gulped it down. A gagging sound indicated that his body was trying to reject it.

(Confessional)

Alejandro: It took more willpower than I can tell you to keep that disgusting slop down. Let alone swallowing the barf that almost immediately filled my mouth. But I forced myself to. I just kept imagining Jose taunting me, and my spite was enough to keep me going, for a time.

Static

Trent's entered his mouth and he immediately gagged. From his spot in the Gaffers Topher smirked. "Wow Trent, you're doing great. I was sure those live roaches would have tickled your gag reflex by now."

Trent swallowed. "Oh yeah, well," He gagged. "Extra protein never hurts."

Alejandro managed to take another bite and swallow his barf. He shuddered. That was when Trent coughed, a small bit of digested sludge came out, along with one of the live roaches Topher had just mentioned.

Alejandro had just taken another bite and was in the process of swallowing his barf for a third time, but the sight of the roach wiggling around in filth was enough to make him hesitate for a moment. A moment too long as he threw up on the floor next to Chris.

"Trent keeps it down for the Killer Grips and wins the reward!" Chris announced. The Grips all cheered, with Duncan holding the golden shovel. Trent threw up immediately after.

Alejandro got out of his cage looking upset. "Oh don't worry Alejandro, I'm sure your team won't blame you for their second loss in a row." Chris smirked.

Sammy approached Alejandro. "Hey for the record, I don't blame you. You did your best."

Alejandro smiled. "Thank you Senorita, that means a lot from you."

Sammy looked nervous. "Alejandro I-" Her eyes widened as the focus shifted to show Chef watching her from the shadows expectantly. "I- need to go for a walk. To clear my head. Yeah."

Alejandro watched her with suspicion as she walked away. The focus followed her to the shadows. "What do you want, Chef?"

"See that right there is what I'm talking about." The cook said.

"What?": Sammy frowned.

"He failed the team, failed you and you aren't even gonna give him a talking to? Girl you're being way too soft! A leader needs to be strong." Chef barked. "And I can teach you that, if you agree to my terms."

"Alejandro's already teaching me to lead." the nice twin argued.

"Teaching you to lead or leading for you?" The cook asked.

"He's helping." Sammy whispered.

"Helping himself!. Think of all the things he did last season. You really think you can trust him?" Chef snapped.

"Well he hasn't done anything bad since we started to work together." She told him.

"That you know of! Guy like that, it's only a matter of time. After all he can't win unless you lose. I'm just saying, you'd know where you stand with me." With that Chef walked away as Sammy looked at the floor anxiously.

(Confessional)

Sammy: Sure Alejandro did some bad things last season, but he really seems to want to help me. Not only that but Chef's alliance is illegal! I want no part of it, but I'm not sure I can find it in me to tell Chef that.

Static

/

The two teams are now standing before a laundry cart each, with a fake prison behind them. Chris stands before him and begins his explanation. "Elimination challenge! Here we go! No get-out-of-jail-free cards here, people. This is Escape from Total Drama Pen."

The focus shifted to one of the laundry carts, it then showed a bunch of fighting dummies in police hats swinging batons, then a line of swinging sacks with fake heads on them, water to either side of a small catwalk, then the dummy prisoners from earlier, each with sharp blade embedded in their wooden hands, "Each team must hop in their laundry carts while one member pushes through the obstacle course to you reach the wall, get digging." The focus briefly moved to a finish line with two fake boxcars behind it. "First team to reach the boxcar to freedom wins immunity. "

"Convicts, select a pusher." Chris instructed.

"Obviously Duncan. There's no doubt in my mind Alejandro will push for the Gaffers. They'd have to be stupid to choose anyone else." Noah said.

"Plus he probably weighs the most." Gwen taunted.

Duncan smirked back. "You saying I'm heavy?"

"Duh, everyone knows muscle weighs more than fat." the goth winked.

"Ugh will you two stop flirting?" Amy groaned as she climbed into the laundry cart.

"I think it's really cute." Ella smiled as she joined her. Trent climbed in next.

Gwen's eyes widened. "What no! You totally read that wrong. Duncan's just a friend!" She protested.

"Methinks the girl protests too much." Noah chuckled as he headed towards the cart.

Gwen smirked and pushed him in before following herself.

Meanwhile with the Gaffers.

"I mean it's obvious Alejandro should push." Amber said with a blush.

"Making your boyfriend do manual labor now?" Topher smirked.

"Nonsense amigo, I would be honored to push the team." Alejandro smirked back.

"If you're sure." Sammy said.

"Of course, I must make up for losing the first part of the challenge." The Spaniard replied.

Harold climbed into the cart and offered a hand to Ellody. "M'lady."

"That's most gracious of you Harold." The genius smiled, accepting his hand.

/

At this point everyone but each team's respective pusher was in the laundry carts. Chris stood before them. "This is it, teams. On your marks, get set, Escape!"

The two boys took off immediately. Alejandro was just starting to pull ahead as they entered the fake prisoners. Duncan smirked and rammed his cart into Alejandro's sending the Spainard into one of the dummies briefly. Duncan laughed.

"Duncan, I wouldn't have expected you to stoop so low." He called.

"What can I say? I'm a delinquent." The punk called back.

Alejandro had gotten back on track now as was catching up with Duncan just as he was about to enter the swinging bag portion of the course. "Indeed I suppose I should consider it an honor you consider me such a threat." He smirked.

Duncan's eyes narrowed. "Please, you? I just like to fight dirty."

"Very well then, allow me to return the favor." Alejandro said as he rammed right into Duncan's laundry cart, which was now on the catwalk with the swinging bags, this distracted Duncan long enough that a bag swung into the Gaffer's cart, sending it into one of the water pools to either side. As Alejandro continued to drive his cart through, he called back "Good luck amigo! You'll need it!"

Duncan started to push the cart through the water to get out. Ella frowned. "You know Duncan, perhaps if you'd been nicer to Alejandro he wouldn't have done that."

"Are you serious right now!" The punk snapped.

"Kindness costs nothing." Ella whispered.

"It's Alejandro, he'd have done it anyway!" Gwen argued.

"Maybe, but must we stoop down to his level?" The princess wannabe asked.

"I've got news for you princess, you might live in a world full of magic and unicorns, but the rest of us live in the real world. " Noah said.

"And In the real world that kind of kindness gets taken advantage of." Duncan told her, as he finally got the cart back on track. He started to run at Alejandro, who was halfway through the police dummies.

"But-" Ella began.

"Seriously, princess now's not the time for your idealist nonsense." Noah cut her off.

"Leave her alone!" Amy snapped.

"Oh that's rich coming from you! Did you ever listen when people told you to leave Sammy alone?!" Trent asked.

At this point Duncan was running full tilt, not even looking where he was going. "Hey Al, thought you'd lost me?!" He caught up with Alejandro and began ramming his cart into the Grips again.

"You are persistent amigo. Like a fly that won't stop buzzing in my ear." Alejandro smirked, pushing his cart back.

"Yeah, well you're as hard to keep down as a roach!" Duncan smirked.

"If you're done flirting with your boyfriend," Noah snarked.

"Don't even start." Duncan cut him off.

"We're about to hit the wall." The cynic finished. Duncan and Alejandro both looked to see the wall was practically in front of them. Both worked to skid to a stop, just barely avoiding crashing into it.

"Everyone get digging!" Sammy told her team as they climbed out of the cart with a spoon in each of their hands.

"She's right, vamos!" Alejandro added.

With the Grips Duncan had grabbed hold of the shovel and started to dig. Ella was frowning from a spot next to Noah. "I still think all that fighting was mean."

"Just stay out of the way." The cynic deadpanned.

/

Chris and Chef are shown waiting at the finish line, with Chef leaning against the brown boxcar and Chris sitting on the rim of the inside. "So, you ever seen that prison flick? The one with the guy in it?" He host asked, nudging his co-host with an elbow. "You know, the guy with the face?" Chef shook his head. Chris swung his legs back and forth a moment, " So, you doing anything after work? We could always rent a…" Chef pursed his lips and looked away. Chris trialed his hand along the edge of his seat nervously. "or not. I was…. busy… anyway… " He muttered, rubbing his hand on his chest then scratching the back of his head. "Very busy, just throwing it out there."

/

With the Gaffers they are digging a tunnel with spoons. Sammy groaned. "I can hear them digging way ahead of us!"

"We'll just have to dig faster!" Harold said.

"Trying to find looser dirt, it'll make digging through it easier." Ellody suggested.

Topher dug a little more and hit his spoon against one of his nails, it broke. "A hangnail!"

"Forget about your vanity for five seconds and help!" Amber snapped.

Alejandro gently placed his hand on the bookworm's shoulder. "Calm yourself chica." He turned to Topher. "I feel your pain amigo, but you are handsome enough that one hangnail shouldn't ruin your confidence."

Topher swallowed. "If you say so." He chuckled, moving to dig again.

Alejandro smirked at Amber. "Flattery will get you everywhere." He explained. Amber sighed and nodded looking put out.

/

With the Grips they were having a much easier time. "With Duncan's strength and that shovel we'll be to the finish line in no time." Trent smiled.

"Don't get too confident we haven't won yet." Noah said.

"Yeah, but all Samey's team has are spoons. We've basically won already." Amy smirked.

Gwen sighed. "And there's karma's cue."

As Duncan went to shovel another bit of dirt, the shovel got stuck on something. Duncan pushed down on the handle with all his strength, and the shovel broke in half.

"Should have known Chris would give us a faulty shovel." Trent sighed.

"Worry not friends! Together we can dig our way out! Even with our bare hands, and if we sing, it won't even feel like we're working!" Ella cheered, She began to dig in the dirt ahead of them.

"Just singing while we work," Ella hummed. "And cheerfully together we can dig our way out,"

Gwen sighed, Noah groaned, and Duncan rolled his eyes.

(Confessional)

Noah:Okay, between not participating in part one of the challenge, trying to be all pacifist during the obstacle course and the singing I don't know how much more I can take of Ella. At least last season she had Jo keeping her focused.

Static

/

The Grips are shown in their tunnel again. Sammy's eyes widened. "Hey, I don't hear them digging anymore!"

"I wonder what happened?" Ellody pondered.

"Who cares! Now's our chance to catch up!" Harold said.

/

Back with the Gaffer's Amy is digging in front with Ella. They pause as they see a small hole ahead of them. "Why's there a hole already here?" Amy asked.

"Might have been dug by some animal." Noah suggested.

The mean twin leaned closer to the hole. A small creature with orange brown fur, a white belly and face, small red nose, whiskers and rodent teeth poked its head out. Amy screamed and hid behind Ella. "It's a giant rat!"

Ella chuckled. "Actually I think it's a prairie dog." She began to listen to the creature as it spoke.

"Ella, we don't have time for this." Gwen complained.

Ella turned to the rest of the team and beamed. "Good news everyone! This prairie dog knows a shortcut! Follow me!" With that the princess followed the rodent into its hole. "There's a big tunnel through here!"

The rest of the Grips shrugged and began to make the entrance to the tunnel larger.

(confessional)

Duncan: Well what else were we gonna do? Dig with our hands? It was our best shot.

Static

The Grips are all traveling through a wide tunnel that had already been dug with Ella in the lead. . "Any clue how much longer this shortcut is?" Trent asked.

"Not much further! The prairie dog say the exit is right there!" The Princess wannabe exclaimed point to the smooth bottom of a rock.

"Thank goodness! Get me out of here!" Gwen said. The focus moved outside where we see Gwen's pale arms move the boulder over. When her head pokes out of the hole she gasps. "They beat us here?" The focus shifted over to the Gaffers at the finish line cheering.

"So we lost?" Trent frowned as he stepped out of the hole.

Ella came next looking anxious, this grew on her face when Noah poked his head out next to hers. "Nice shortcut." He deadpanned.

/

Inside the crafts and service tent the focus is placed on the Gaffer table. Harold is talking to Ellody. "It was like so cool how you figured out what the eating challenge would be before we even saw the food."

"Thank you Harold, but I'm certain you could have figured it out if you tried to." The Genius smiled.

"I mean obviously, but I don't really expect people to have the same observation skills I do." Harold smirked.

"I'm pleased you have exceeded your expectations then." Ellody nodded.

The focus shifted to Topher, Amber, Alejandro, and Sammy. Topher is filing the nail he broke earlier desperately. "You think that looks okay?" Topher asked the Spaniard.

"It looks just fine amigo. Why if I didn't know any better I'd say you never broke it in the first place." Alejandro smirked. Topher smirked back and returned to his nails, Alejandro looked over at Amber and winked. The bookworm smiled back weakly.

Alejandro turned to Sammy and frowned. The focus shifted to show the twin was moving to sneak into the kitchen. As she's about to open the door she screams and turns around. The focus moved out to show Alejandro had tapped her on the shoulder. "Why are you trying to sneak into the kitchen?"

Sammy gulped, then looked around nervously. "I was uh, just thinking about getting seconds, but I changed my mind!" She blurted out. "I have to go now!" Alejandro's eyes narrowed as she watched her walk away.

On the Grips table, things were much more tense. "I can't wait to vote you off." Trent told Amy.

"If anyone is leaving its you!" Amy scoffed.

"Please, everyone hates you, you're as good as voted out." The guitarist glared. Ella looked on in concern.

The focus shifted down to Noah and Duncan as the former whispered to the latter. "I think we should vote off Ella."

"Why not Amy?" Duncan replied.

"The reasons are threefold. If we keep Amy she's a perfect hate shield. So long as she's here Trent probably won't vote for anyone else. Two, her rivalry with Sammy is easy to take advantage of. Three, you saw how she was today. If she can't stomach this, who knows what else she'll have trouble with." Noah explained.

Duncan nodded. "You have a point. I'll consider it."

Noah smirked. "That's all I ask."

/

The stage with the two giant Chris statues is shown as spotlights wave in front of it. A series of clips featuring Chris from last season ,several of them just him talking, roll over the screen in two parallel lines, a vertical line of clips include one where Chris is dress as a pirate rolls down between them, as two more clips, one of Chris in a helicopter and one of him with a clapboard, move out to either side, the focus zooms out to show a giant gilded Chris as fireworks go for in the background.

The Grips are shown in the bleachers, Noah, Trent, and Duncan on top. Gwen, Ella, and Amy on bottom. They are all holding voting devices and the noise indicates they've just voted. The focus shifted to the stage, where Chris standing behind the podium in his powder blue tux. "Time's up! I'll tally the votes!" Chris lifted up his device and read off names. "Duncan, Noah, Gwen, and…Trent." The four contestants mentioned are shown catching their awards. "Another award and another day to compete. "

The host held the final chocolate statuette in his hand. "Tonight's… final Gilded Chris and another chance at the million goes to…" Amy was shown looking at Ella anxiously, clearly torn. Ella meanwhile smiled back at Amy. Both faces were shown closely.

…

…

…

…"Amy."

The blonde didn't even catch her award as it was thrown to her.

(Confessional)

Amy: What?! Why is Ella going home?! How could they?

Static

Trent: How did this happen? Amy should be going home. Did she rig the votes against Ella?

Static

Duncan: I thought about it, and Noah made some pretty good points. Besides if she gets too annoying, voting her out should be easy. On top that, I don't have to hear her complain about trying to win.

Static

Noah: Actually my reasons for getting rid of Amy were fourfold. The fourth reason? Without her only ally, Amy's gonna be pretty desperate. Maybe even desperate enough to work with me. Not that Duncan needs to know that.

Static

Handcuffs are slapped on Ella's wrists. "Dead girl walking!" Chef barked as he began to lead her down the red carpet of shame. Amy stepped in front of him. "No wait. Take me! I should be leaving!"

"Sure, whatever." Chef shrugged, about to clap the handcuffs on Amy instead. Ella grabbed them back and put them on her wrist.

"No Amy, I was voted out fair and square. Try to make a friend while I'm gone." Ella smiled, hugging a crying Amy.

(Confessional)

Ella: I overheard Noah talking to Duncan earlier. It was clear to me that the only way I could possibly save Amy from elimination, was to vote for myself. I'll miss competing with her, but I want to give her a chance to change without me.

Static

Chris is shown back at his podium to wrap up the episode. "Folks are getting feisty. Voting yourself off may be selfless, but it definitely loses you a million bucks. Check. You. Later."

(Bonus clip)

Ella is humming happily as she sits in the limo. "You know, I might wish to have lasted longer, but I'm glad Amy got to stay. If she can just learn to be a bit nicer, I know she can become a better person. Besides, I'll get to see Dawn at some point. I've missed her." Ella's eyes light up as someone says something off screen. "An aftermath show?! That sounds positively delightful! I can't wait to see my friends!"

Chapter Text

An overview of the prison set is shown as Chris begins the recap. "Last time on Total Drama Action!" The clips of Chris telling the teams they were to select a prisoner from the other team is shown, Followed by Chef leading Trent to one of the cages, then both Trent and Alejandro in said cages. This is followed by the cart of gross food, Topher dropping cockroaches into the Gaffer's concoction, then both Trent and Alejandro trying to eat their disgusting meals. "Imprisoned in a world they didn't create, forced to ingest deadly foods, and even taste them twice."

The teams are both shown digging through the ground, Ella is shown following the prairie dog into its hole, then the Grips are shown coming up from under a rock, only to see the Gaffers already there. Noah is shown talking to Duncan, followed by Amy and Trent's shocked faces at elimination, and Ella walking the red carpet of shame. "Nonetheless the two courageous teams clawed their way to freedom, but an ill advised shortcut from Ella caused the Grips defeat. Leading Noah to convince Duncan to vote for Ella much to the surprise of Amy and Trent. So it was the princess who walked the red carpet of shame."

Chef is shown talking to Sammy in the kitchen, followed by Alejandro flirting with Topher and winking at Amber who smiled back weakly. Then Sammy is shown trying to sneak away and Alejandro is shown looking suspicious. "Meanwhile Chef made a move to try and sway Sammy's allegiance from Alejandro, and there seems to be trouble in paradise for Amber."

Chris is shown in the security room. "Will Alejandro's flirtatious ways catch up to him? Will he figure out what Chef is trying to do? And now that Ella's gone, what chance does Amy have in the game?" Chris shrugged. "Find out now, on Total Drama Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The episode begins with a shot of an owl perched in a tree at night, It's circuits fry, revealing it to be a robot as its head springs off. The focus shifted to show all of the contestants, save for Sammy, walking into the trailer area, clearly headed for bed.

"I can't believe you guys would vote out Ella!" Amy snapped at her team.

"How do we know you didn't rig the votes against her?" Trent glared.

"She's my best friend, I would never do that to her. Never!" The twin snapped in his face.

"Guys can't we just chill?" Gwen tried to mediate.

"Besides, princess would have only held us back." Duncan added.

Amy turned to yell at him too, when Topher chuckled. The focus shifted to him. "Man you guys are a mess. The ratings are gonna be wild.":

"Seriously Topher, does schadenfreude completely override empathy in your mind?" Amber scoffed.

"He is a fan of this show, which makes entertainment out of others misery, so It's not that surprising." Ellody replied.

Topher yawned. "Anyway Alejandro and I need our beauty sleep." He tried to open the boys trailer only to find it locked. The focus shifted to Gwen trying to open the girls trailer with the same results.

"Chris, if this is some kind of sadistic challenge can it wait til morning?!" Gwen called out.

A siren went off, and an ambulance drove through the area, dropped off a covered gurney and departed. Everyone approached the gurney. "Do we want to know what's under there?" Noah deadpanned.

"Maybe it's a zombie." Gwen smirked.

The cover shifted as Chris rose up from the gurney books underneath him. "Boo!" He said towards the gaffers, causing Harold to jump to Ellody and wrap his arms around her in fear.

"Calm yourself, no one's dead yet." Chris told them. "I'm here to prep you fluffy ducks for our most awesome challenge yet." He lifted up one of the books on the gurney. "These textbooks hold the sum total of eight years of med school, and each one of you gets one," He said throwing one to Duncan." Cause tomorrow we're gonna play doctor." Duncan rolled his eyes.

(Confessional)

Duncan: I hate doctors, they get off telling people stuff they don't want to hear, like don't pick at that scab. Or if you eat nothing but pickled eggs you'll die. Hey don't tell me what I can't eat. Now playing doctor, playing doctor I can handle.

Static

Harold: I could be a doctor if I wanted to. I have plenty of hands on experience because I've contracted more than 300 known diseases, and I've been cured of nearly all of them.

Static

Amber: There is no way that textbook contains eight years of med school. It's way too short.

Static

Everyone is holding a textbook as Chris continues to explain the challenge. "To win this challenge, you're gonna want to memorize the entire contents of these textbooks. By morning."

"An excuse to study all night? Yes please!" Ellody said happily.

"But it's so late!" Amy snapped.

"You got that right." Chris said as Chef drove a golf cart with a slice of pizza on top of it, in to the area. "What med school all nighter would be complete without pizza?" Chef handed a stack of boxes to Trent. .

"Dude that smells good." The guitarist said.

"Es Imposible!" Alejandro gasped.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Chris?" Gwen asked.

"Think of it as method acting, Med school interns consume eight hundred and fifty percent more pizza than the average human." Chris continued.

"That is a statistical impossibility." Ellody noted.

"So dig in, cause there's plenty more where that came from." The host concluded, ignoring Ellody as he hopped on Chef's golf cart and it drove away. .

The focus shifted to show Duncan was holding one of the slices of pizza. "It looks okay. It smells okay, Tastes." He took a bite. "Pretty good." He gasped.

"So Chef can cook good food, and is just choosing not to?" Topher smirked. "Awesome!"

Alejandro frowned as he looked around. "Has anyone seen Sammy?"

/

Chef is spinning dough as Sammy walked in. She took a deep breath. "Chef, I'm here to tell you-"

"Good you're here! I've been working my butt off to make and deliver these pizzas!" The cook pushed Sammy to a counter at which two pizzas are cooling. There is a canister of what appears to be cheese next to them. "Sprinkle some of that cheese on each one!"

"But-" Sammy tried to protest.

"I don't have time for buts girl! Sprinkle the cheese!" Chef barked, turning back to his pizzas. Sammy sighed and began to do as she was told.

/

The Gaffers are shown inside the crafts and service tent studying.

"I'm gonna regret eating this pizza, but I have to try some of Chef's best cooking!" Topher said eating a slice.

"I'm not gonna waste the chance to eat real food." Amber agreed, taking one for herself. She glanced at Alejandro. "Aren't you having any?"

"I prefer to eat healthy, but go ahead and partake, chica. I'm still wondering where Sammy went." The Spaniard admitted.

Sammy stepped into the room at that moment. "I was just, going to the bathroom."

Alejandro's eyes narrowed as she sat down.

The focus shifted to Harold and Ellody across the table.

"So how much medical knowledge do you have, Ellody?" Harold asked as he took another bite of Pizza.

"I know a lot of stuff, but a refresher wouldn't hurt." Ellody smiled. She looked at the ground nervously. "You know studying in groups has proven helpful in retaining information. So I'd like to propose we team up for this endeavor. You know, if you want to."

"Sure, we can like, take turns reading and stuff." Harold agreed.

(Confessional)

Ellody: Aside from my best friend Mary, no one ever wants to study with me! Harold's so sweet to agree to it. In fact, lately I've been experiencing sweaty palms, an increased heart rate, and mild nausea. All of which are physical manifestations of heightened emotion.

Static

Harold: No one ever asks me to study with them, unless it's to make me do all the work. And Ellody asked me! (He fist pumped.) Yes!

Static

Meanwhile the Grips are studying outside the trailers. "This pie is rad! Who knew Chef could rock the sauce?"

"Aren't you gonna have some Noah?" Gwen asked. Noah sighed.

(confessional)

Noah: As much as I would love to, I don't know what's in that pizza. I have life threatening allergies so it's not worth risking it.

Static

"Well no pizza for Noah means more for the rest of us." Duncan smirked.

Noah flipped through the book quickly and closed it. "Done."

"There's no way you finished that quick!" Amy protested.

"It's called skimming. Trust me there isn't anything in this I don't already know. Besides, tomorrows a reward challenge." Noah said, standing with a stretch.

"Nerd's got a point." Duncan agreed standing up from his chair. "You gonna hit the hay pasty?"

Gwen opened her mouth to answer when Trent grabbed her hand. "Please don't leave me alone with her." He whispered, inclining his head towards Amy.

The goth sighed. "Maybe later."

(Confessional)

Gwen: Trent's a nice guy. He doesn't deserve to be left alone with Amy. (She rolls her eyes.) The things I do for friendship.

Static

Inside the boys trailer Duncan turned to Noah. "You know, I was thinking what if we formed an alliance."

"What would the terms be?" Noah asked.

"Let's keep it simple. We vote together and we don't vote for each other."

Noah shrugged. "Fine, but don't expect to intimidate me into voting with you."

/

The focus is on the warehouses as we cut inside one. Everyone is tired with the notable exception of Noah and Duncan. Alejandro seemed less tired than others however.

"So tired." Harold groaned.

"The energy crash after the thrill of a night studying is potent." Ellody agreed.

Duncan sighed happily as he looked at everyone. "Nothing like a good night's sleep, am I right?"

Gwen smirked tiredly and drew a finger across her throat as she looked back at him. Duncan smirked back.

The door opened as Chris came out of the room in front of them. "Morning competitors! Or should I say doctors!" WIth that the host pulled out a handcannon and began to shoot the old light reflectors doctors once wore at the heads of the contestants until they all had one. "Ready for today's new challenge?"

"Well some of us are." Amy glared at Noah.

"I regret nothing." He smirked back.

"Ooh, tension. My favorite." Chris chuckled. He pointed over his shoulder into the room behind him. "Let's take it inside."

/

A large overhead light is shown before the focus quickly moves out to show the two teams standing on either side of Chris. Gaffers on the left, Grips on the right. On each side is a large vat of green fluid, a ladder leading up to a bungee cord, and two large slabs with outlines of a certain host on them. "Today's reward challenge is called 'visiting hours'.'" Chris began. "And only one member of the winning team will get to enjoy the reward."

"If only one of us gets the prize, why even bother trying to win?" Duncan asked.

"Because I stayed up all night studying." Gwen yawned. "A win would ease the pain."

"But if we win, how do we determine who gets the prize?" Noah asked.

"Whoever does the most obviously!" Amy smirked.

(Confessional)

Amy: Which will be me of course.

Static

"Chris, you haven't told us what the reward is yet." Harold pointed out from the Gaffer's side.

"You're very perceptive Harold, let's see if that'll help you and your team assemble: a cadaver!" Chris announced.

"Like a dead body?!" Sammy gasped.

"No," Chris responded. "Like a giant dead body! These tanks," The host pointed to them as he continued, the focus shifted from the tanks up to the bungee platform, then down to the slab. "Contain the dismembered parts of two identical cadavers. Each player will climb their respective team ladder, strap on the bungee cord, and jump into the tank with hopes of retrieving a body part. Any body parts you find will be snapped in place on the platforms." The focus shifted up the chain to two large electrodes which sparked electricity between them. " Use those chains to raise them all the way to the roof. Where they'll be reanimated by a blast of lightning.

"First team to bring a Frankenchris to life wins." Chris concluded. "First crack goes to who can tell me how it treat someone with a bean up their nose."

"Administer two cc's of pain meds, and probe the affected area with a sterile swab." Ellody answered quickly.

"Correctamundo!" Chris said.

A flash transition takes us to Ellody strapping on the bungee cord and jumping into the Gaffers tank. When she comes out she is being shocked by an eel. She grabs onto the diving board before she can fall back in. "Chris you forgot to informs us of the electric eels." She noted breathlessly.

"Less forgot to, more like deliberately didn't mention." Chris replied. "Three zaps and you're out."

Ellody jumps back in, coming up with a leg. "Catch it!" She called. It headed straight towards Topher.

"Not the hair!" The blonde cried, ducking. Amber rolled her eyes and caught it placing it on the slab.

"Okay next question." Chris continued. "Your patient has an itchy red inflammation on their butt. Diagnosis?"

"Diaper rash, apply salve repeatedly to achieve humectant dispersion." Gwen replied.

"Yes." The host confirmed.

A flash transition later and Gwen his jumping into her team's tanks. She comes up being shocked by eels. "Oww! Stupid eels!" She went back in this time pulling out a foot. "Got it!" The goth said as she threw it to Duncan.

"Nice work pasty." He called as he placed the foot on the slab.

"Next question," Chris began again. "Your patients got a white tongue, red eyes and their oozing gooey crud ?

"Conjunctivitis. Usually, an anti-inflammatory takes care of it." Noah smirked.

"Nope." Chris smirked back. "Gaffers?"

"Pinkaicus Eyeaicus. Treat with two rounds of floppity gibbets!" Topher replied.

"Absolutely correct!" Chris replied, his eyes shifted to the audience, and he cupped his mouth. "I messed around with some of the terms in the textbook."

A flash transition later Topher is looking at the tank nervously. He took a deep breath. "I hope this washes out of my hair." He jumped off the platform and came out with an arm. "Get it away from me!" He called as he threw the arm to Harold who put it on the slab.

Chris approached the Grips. "Smells like earwax?" He asked.

"Pinappleitits!" Amy replied.

A flash transition shows her jumping into the pool and getting shocked by three eels.

/

Another flash transitioned to Chris asking another question. "Fur between the toes?"

"Stick two horse feathers up the whizzbang!" Sammy replied.

A flash transitioned to Sammy jumping into her team's tank and pulling out a torso. Then a series of flash transitions showed Trent putting another foot on to his team's slab. Alejandro placing the hips on the Gaffers slab. Gwen placing a leg on the Grips slab. Harold saying "Wakka wakka 2x4." Amber using a stethoscope on Chris and saying. "Sissypants Megee!" Duncan bungee jumping and hitting an eel with a bat, then finally Trent jumping in to pull out a head. Noah placed it.

"The Grips are ahead by a head!" Chris proclaimed as the Grips slab was shown to have all but a leg and a hand on it, while Gaffer's table was shown with all parts but a leg, hand and a head.

Amy was shown jumping into the tank again and being shocked by eels twice before she finally got the hand which she tossed to Trent. "That's all but the leg. No thanks to you." The guitarist said with a look towards Noah.

"Fine, I'm helping. I'll go check on Amy." Noah rolled his eyes. He approached the tank as Amy got out. "So how's it going?"

"How do you think? My only friend is gone, I've been shocked by eels multiple times today, and I'm covered in gross green sludge." Amy snapped.

"Sounds like you need help. I was thinking, what if we team up?" Noah suggested.

Amy scoffed. "With you? Please. My standards aren't that low."

"Fine, I can wait." Noah replied.

(Confessional)

Amy: Wait for what? Pigs to fly? Because that's the only way I'd ever team up with a loser like him.

Static

Duncan is shown jumping in the Grips tank and pulling out the leg. "Last Piece!" He called, as Noah caught and placed it.

"The Grips have their cadaver! Time to start yanking some chain, and be quick about it cause the Gaffers are right behind you!" Chris told them. The Grips began to pull on their slabs chain to raise it.

Meanwhile Amber threw the Gaffer's last piece, the head , Alejandro who quickly placed it. "Everyone pull!" Sammy ordered as they Gaffers began to hoist their own slab.

"The Gaffers are still in this." Chris said. "Who's cadaver will hit the roof first? Make sure you come back for all the Total Drama Action!"

/

Returning from the commercial break we see the Grips are getting close to bringing their cadaver to life, when Gwen burped. "Eww!" Amy complained. "And why does it smell like lemons?"

"Wait, that's not normal." Trent noted, placing a hand on Gwen's forehead. "You're burning up, and is that a sore on your arm?" He asked, examining it.

"Wait, red sores, fever, lemony burps? Weren't those symptoms of one of the diseases in the book?!" Amy gasped.

"Page seven hundred and fifty three. Mordistical crumples disease and its fatal!" Topher gasped.

Everyone dropped what they were doing in shock. "Mordistical crumples disease isn't just fatal, it's highly contagious!" Amber panicked.

"Okay," Chris said, backing away with his hand in front of him. "Looks like its quarantine time. See ya, wouldn't want to be ya!" With that Chris ran out the doors to the room and the sounds of him boarding the place up can be heard as everyone watched on in shock. The focus shifted outside to show Chris nailing up a red sign with a yellow skull and crossbones on it, The eyes of the skull are X's. The host turns to the audience. "There's more to this disease than either team knows." He chuckled.

/

Back in the warehouse the teams are shown facing each other. Alejandro looks confused. "What are the chances of Gwen contracting a fatal disease? "

"I know. It's seriously weird." Duncan agreed. "How you holding up pasty?"

"Oh you know, I just found out I'm going to die. No big deal." Gwen deadpanned sarcastically.

"Quarantine Gwen stat!" Harold said.

Amber blew up a pastic bubble with a quarantine sign on it. "Get inside before it spreads!" She ordered. Duncan gently placed Gwen inside the bubble.

"There's another sore on Samey!" Amy accused pointing to her sister. For once she wasn't lying, Sammy did have a sore on her arm.

"What? No! No this isn't happening!" Sammy panicked.

Amber began blowing up another bubble as Gwen huddled on the floor of her bubble, beginning to hyperventilate. "I know it had to be done, but I'm claustrophobic! Oh, is there enough air in here?"

As Harold and Amy shoved Sammy into another bubble, Amber replied. "Yeah, there should be. These bubbles are meant to contain people for an extended period of time."

"We need to confirm no one else is infected." Harold told everyone. "Symptoms of Mordistical Crumples disease include explosive diarrhea."

Amber ran into a porta potty. "Oh no!" She groaned.

"Itchy lips," Harold continued.

"My lips! My lips are on fire!" Topher screamed as his lips swelled up.

"Sudden Hot flashes."

Ellody began to pant and sweat, her face red.

"Sea sickness,"

Amy's face turned green and she threw up.

"Speaking in tongues."

Trent began to speak gibberish.

"And temporary blindness. Anyone?" Harold asked. No one responded. "Well that's a relief." He turned and walked right into Ellody. His pupils contracted. "I'm blind!"

(confessional)

Noah: The disease came from that textbook, which I know Chris messed with. Something's up.

Static

Alejandro: During the slasher challenge Chris was immediately concerned when it looked like Amber might actually die. So I know he wouldn't leave us to die. Probably.

Chris is shown in the security room. "You'd think we wouldn't but imagine the ratings!"

/

The focus moves from right to left over all the sick members of the cast now on gurneys all groaning. The focus is placed on Amber on her gurney. Alejandro approaches her with a glass of water. "Here you need to stay hydrated." He said tilting her head up and helping her drink it.

Next to her Topher speaks up. "My lips. I can't have them so swollen on TV!"

Alejandro turns to him. "Worry not my friend, your beauty transcends such flaws." Amber groaned loudly

The focus shifted to Duncan and Gwen. The goth is in the fetal position. "I'm gonna die. If the disease doesn't get me the lack of oxygen will."

Duncan nodded sympathetically. "Relax pasty, I'll figure this out."

"Hey Duncan," Duncan turned and walked over to Noah. "This is more fishy than a salmon glazed in fish oil, marinated in tuna water."

"Have you noticed that aside from Alejandro we're the only ones who didn't study all night and we're the only ones not sick?" Duncan pointed out.

"I didn't study all night." Alejandro interjected. "I'm used to studying for long hours, so I paced myself. I took a five minute break for every hour of study."

"So none of us studied all night, and on top of that I've never heard of Mordistical Crumples disease." Noah said.

"Nor have I, I only made it about two thirds through the book, so it must be in the third I didn't read." Alejandro noted.

"And with the nonsense those guys were spouting the textbooks were definitely messed with, we need to get our hands on one." Noah said.

'

"Good Idea except Chris sealed off the only exit." Duncan pointed out.

"Not the only exit." Alejandro and Noah both replied, giving each other an annoyed look as they pointed to a hole in the ceiling with a chain connecting a slab that previously held a cadaver.

"I'm not a fan of heights." Duncan said.

"Fine, you can stay here and keep an eye on everyone." Alejandro told him.

"No way are you taking my numbers advantage, Duncan get over here!" Noah ordered. Reluctantly, Duncan joined them and between he and Alejandro they got out of the room.

"Okay, let's go get those textbooks." Duncan said, as Alejandro sneaked off in the other direction.

Noah nodded. "You go ahead, I'm following Alejandro." .

(confessional)

Alejandro: Chris only ever gives us good food if its some trick.

Static

Noah: If someone who's normally sadistic is suddenly nice, there's a reason for it. Usually a bad one.

Static

/

Back in room Gwen is still panicking in her bubble. In the other bubble Sammy sighs. "Of all the ways I thought I'd die, this never crossed my mind."

The focus shifted to Ellody and Harold on their gurney's. "To think I would die of a rare fatal disease. I hope Chris donates my body to science as I requested."

"Ellody, I just want to say, you mean a lot to me. I need you to know that before I die." Harold groaned.

"And you to me Harold, aside from my best friend I've never felt closer to another person." Ellody smiled.

In the corner Amy is writing something on a paper. "I leave all my belongings to Ella. I have one final request," Amy puked into a bucket next to her. "Make sure I get a bigger tombstone than Samey.

The focus shifted to the doors of the room as Duncan, Noah, and Alejandro burst in. Duncan holding a textbook, and Alejandro both holding a canister of cheese. The rest of the room is shown before the focus shifts to Amber on her Gurney. "Alejandro? Is that you?"

"Relax everyone," Duncan told them. "As someone who had extensive experience with forgery Trust me, this textbook and everything in it is a total crock," He removed the cover of the book. "The book covers are really just old cereal boxes." His stomach gurgled. "Uh oh!" He gasped running to the porta potty.

"It can't be a crock, no one's pretending to be sick." Harold said.

"Not intentionally no, and some symptoms are legit." Noah explained "I suspected something was up with the pizza so I went to investigate." He scowled "unfortunately Alejandro got to it first."

"Indeed." Alejandro smirked. "I found this in the kitchen." He said holding up a canister of cheese.

Sammy looked nervous from her bubble. "What's in that canister I've never seen in my life?"

Alejandro gave her a suspicious look as he peeled the cheese label off to reveal another label with one arms about to itch another. "Itching powder and laxatives!"

"Probably some with a delayed effect so it'd happen during the challenge." Noah noted.

Duncan came out of the porta potty with fumes leaking out of it. "That explains the diarrhea and itchy lips."

"And I'm unaffected since I never ate any pizza." Alejandro smirked. "I assume Noah didn't either." Noah nodded.

"What about the sores on Gwen and Sammy?" Ellody asked.

Noah walked over to Gwen's bubble and popped it with a needle before peeling the 'sore' off. "It's a piece of pepperoni "

"Air! Sweet air!" Gwen gasped breathing in as much as possible. "I'll never take you for granted again!"

Sammy peeled her sore off and ate it. "It really is!" She gasped.

Alejandro popped Sammy's bubble. "I'm so happy to be out of there!" The twin said.

"What about the other symptoms?" Amber asked.

"Well you're all sleep deprived and spent the night reading about diseases. It wouldn't surprise me if it caused a placebo effect." Noah replied.

"So it's in our heads." Trent said.

Harold's pupils dilated to normal. "I can see! I can see!"

Chris began to lower himself into the room.. "Congratulations Killer Grips! You just won the challenge!"

Alejandro looked shocked. "But I found out what was causing the actual symptoms!"

"True, but since the Grips had two members figure out something was up, and opposed to just one they win." Chris smirked as Alejandro's face grew infuriated. "And for their reward-" Chris paused. "I knew I forgot something." Chris went back up.

Alejandro turned to Sammy. "I don't want to think you would deliberately sabotage your fellow competitors, but I saw you exit the kitchen last night."

Sammy swallowed. "I swear I didn't know what was in that canister. Chef kinda forced me into doing it,"

"And why were you in the kitchen in the first place?" Alejandro asked.

Sammy sighed. "Chef wants me to form an alliance with him. I was trying to tell him no but he won't listen."

"Thank you for bringing this to my attention." Alejandro told her.

(Confessional)

Alejandro: So Chef is trying to force Sammy into an alliance. If he thinks I'll let him do as he wants he's deluded. There is the chance Sammy's lying, but I don't think it's in her nature.

Static

Chris came back down with a covered tray. "As I was saying, for your reward." He removed the cover to reval five framed pictures.

The first was of a tall pale girl with a sharp chin and dark indigo purple hair. Wearing a sleeveless black corset shirt. Then a boy with long brown hair that had bangs that covered his eyes. Wearing a band shirt. Then a blonde woman with blue eyes wearing a red dress, Then a man with spiky brown hair, narrow blue eyes and a very defined chin wearing a light business shit with a slightly darker blue tie. Finally a girl with a very large forehead, long brown hair in a low ponytail, half lidded brown eyes and a familiar smirk. She wore a bright red cardigan.

"That's my friend Pixie Corpse!" Gwen gasped.

"And my jam mate Lucas!" Trent cheered.

"My favorite sibling?!" Noah asked in confusion.

"Yep, one of you gets a whole spa night away from this cruddy studio with your best friend." Chris said. "So who's the lucky stiff?"

Amy began to argue with Duncan and Noah.

"Well obviously it should be Duncan or Noah. They won the challenge for us." GWen said.

"I agree." Trent nodded.

Duncan and Noah turned to each other. "How do we decide?" Noah asked.

Duncan dug a coin from his pocket. "You call it," He flipped the coin.

"Tails!" Noah said.

Duncan caught it and checked. He smirked. "Well have a good time you lucky SOB."

"Don't insult my mother that way." Noah smirked back. Two interns dressed like nurses pushed him out the door. One with blonde hair and one with black hair.

The focus shifted to the red carpet of shame as Noah walked to the limo, rather than entering the door flew open and he was dragged in. The focus shifted to the interior where the tan woman with brown hair and eyes was giving Noah a noogie. "I haven't seen you in ages! We have so much to catch up on! Starting with that girlfriend! Who knew Noa Boa would snag a hot goth chick!"

"Esther, I told you not to call me that." Noah groaned.

"And as your older sister I ignored you." Esther smirked.

"Hey, being serious, there's something I want to talk with you about." Noah admitted. The scene froze and Chris was shown watching from the security room.

"I wonder what he's gonna talk about?" Chris chuckled. "Will we ever find out? Can Alejandro help Sammy? What will Amy complain about next? Find out the answer to some of these questions next time, On Total, Drama, Action!"

Chapter Text

The recap begins with clips of the ambulance dropping off the gurney outside the trailers, Topher grabbing part of a Frakenchris from the green slime, and Gwen burping. "Last time on Total Drama Action!"

Clips of Noah, Duncan, and Alejandro discussing the disease and Noah popping Gwen's are shown, "Some boys, some boys with vision, vision that took them past everyday thinking, but when the chips were down," A clip of Amy puking was shown," and even when the chips came back up again," clips of the three guys bursting in though the double doors to where everyone lay sick, Duncan rushing to the toilet and all the sick contestants questioning how this had happened. "they were the only ones who could rescue the others. Searching for a cure, for the disease that was afflicting their dearest friends."

Alejandro is shown peeling off the label on the 'cheese,' then Noah and Duncan flipping for the prize, then Alejandro confronting Sammy about her involvement and Sammy telling him about Chef. "A cure was found, a challenge won, and a secret revealed, but can Alejandro even help her?"

The very last sentence is garbled as we return to the present where Chris is sitting on the amphitheater bleachers eating popcorn. "Hey, what can I say? Gross disease movies make me crave a little corn." Chris threw the bag over his shoulder, wiggling his fingers in a spooky manner, and returned to outside the trailers to finish the recap. "but it's time to put the snacks away, kiddies because after this totally terrifying episode, there won't be a stomach left unturned. Hold on to your buckets, it's time for some Total. Drama. Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

Duncan, Gwen, and Trent are in front of the boys trailer kicking a soccer ball back and forth while Ellody watches them, occasionally making a note in her notebook. The focus shifted to Noah, Amy, Amber, Topher, Sammy, and Harold all sitting at a picnic table playing cards. Noah smirked. "Harold, do you have any twos?"

"Yes," The nerd sighed, handing over his last card.

"And once again Harold's the first out of cards." Amy smirked.

(confessional)

Harold: Noah must think he's so great just because he's won the last three rounds. But did he spend three whole entire summers at magic steves magic camp? Allow me to demonstrate mad magic skills by producing the ace of spades! (Harold shows the camera a picture of himself nude, covering his shame with a pillow. He chuckled nervously.) "Hey, how did that get in there?

Static

"Not that it matters." Topher smirked, "It's not like being good at go fish will help in the actual game."

"In case you didn't notice Einstein, I got your man crush out of the game last season." The cynic deadpanned.

Topher cleared his throat nervously. "I don't know what you're talking about ,besides you didn't beat Alejandro by much."

"Yeah, you got voted out right after." Amber reminded him.

"My point stands." Noah replied.

"Speaking of which, has anyone seen Alejandro?" Harold asked.

Sammy hid her face in her cards. "I'm sure he's around."

/

The focus is on the crafts and servaes tent, it flash cuts inside the kitchen where Chef is working. The swinging door behind him opens and Alejandro steps through. "This is my kitchen! Get out!"

"Not until we have a little discussion about Sammy." The Spaniard said lowly.

"What about her?" Chef scoffed.

"Don't be coy with me. She told me all about your attempts to intimidate her into making an illegal alliance with you." Alejandro hissed warningly. "And she wants no part of it."

Chef smirked. "Oh really? Well if she's so against it, then why isn't she telling me herself?"

"She's scared of you so I told her I'd do it." The charmer explained.

The cook turned to him. "Listen kid, might be that you're telling the truth, but you could be lying through your teeth. You do that as easily as breathing. So unless Sammy herself tells me, face to face she doesn't want an alliance, I'm not stopping. Now get out of my kitchen."

Alejandro clenched his fist in rage. "Very well then.

/

Back at the trailers the group playing go fish are tallying up their matches. Noah smirks. "And that's four in a row."

"Seriously?! How are you so good at this?!" Amy huffed.

"Maybe karma's just paying me back for all the misery." The cynic said.

(confessional)

Noah: Actually it's because their poker faces suck. Seriously Amy tucks her hair behind her ear when she's feeling confident, Harold adjusts his glasses, Topher's mouth twitches up, and Amber rubs her arm. The only person I don't have a tell for is Sammy.

Static

The loudspeaker is shown as Chris speaks. "Attention all Total Drama victims, please meet me in the northeast corner of the studio palooza. Bring lozenges, the screaming's gonna hurt."

/

All the contestants are shown by some scaffolding, a small cliff is above them in the background, with a set of hanging lights above it.

"Ugh, Chris is the one making us come here and he's late?" Amy huffed.

Alejandro is shown leaning against a standing light. "Perhaps he got caught up in something?"

Amy and Alejandro's eyes widen as Chris' scream rings through the air. He's shown falling backwards through the air and a red fluid flies up from off screen. When the focus shifted it shows Chris has been impaled on the standing light Alejandro was just leaning against.

Everyone screamed in shock as they all ended up splashed by 'blood'.

Noah walked over to Chris' corpse. "Well I guess the show's canceled now. Think we can find where he left the million?"

"You're not getting it unless you win." Chris replied as he sat up.

"Aw man, I was just gonna call dibs on your boat." Duncan complained.

"It's the magic of cinema boys and girls, I'm absolutely, perfectly, Chrisly fine." The host said and he removed the top of the standing light. "Wanna see how it's done?"

"No!" The contestants said.

Blood drips down the screen to transition to Chris' explanation. "Our crackerjack effects team seals fake blood into a thin membrane of plastic." Chris' fingers are shown holding up a small packet full of fake blood. " called a squib." Chris is shown falling from the cliff onto the fake standing light and blood spattering as the packet hits the prop. "This little baby bursts on impact." Chris is shown hitting the cushion while another platform raises with Chris on the fake standing light. "And old fashioned optical illusion helps sell that I've been impaled. "

Back in the present Duncan complains. "Can we just get on with this?"

The focus shifted to Sammy and Alejandro. "I tried to talk to with Chef."

"And?" Sammy said hopefully.

"He won't listen to me. He said unless you tell him face to face you don't want an alliance, he's not gonna stop." The Spaniard whispered.

"Wait? You're saying I have to stand up to Chef?! I don't know if I can." Sammy swallowed. "I'm barely able to stand up to Amy."

The focus shifted to Trent, whose eyes narrowed at Sammy's scared face as the two talked.

"You think Alejandro's up to something?" He asked Noah.

"I'd like to know when he isn't." The cynic replied.

"Time for today's totally terrifying blood curdling horror movie challenge." Chris announced. " To figure out which team gets which challenge: A Scream off! Think of every great horror movie you've ever seen."

"Like the one where the protagonist sees ghosts with that amazing ending twist?" Amber asked.

"All horror movies have one thing in common: Fantastic screaming from actors. And the killers who snuff them. Each team picks a serial killer. The rest of you will be the screamers. If your serial killer can make you scream the loudest your team wins!" Chris explained, the screen was once again covered in blood as a way of transitioning to the next scene.

/

The Gaffers are shown discussing who should be the killer. "Well it can't be Harold or Ellody. " Topher said

Harold raised a finger to argue but was cut off by Amber. "It can't be you either. The only thing scary about you is your hair."

"Seriously? Lay off the hair! Besides, you're not scary either." The blonde said.

"I guess that leaves Alejandro and Sammy?" Ellody said.

"Alejandro did well in the acting challenge." Sammy said, holding out the hockey mask and fake blood.

"I'm flattered, amiga, but I think you should be the killer." Alejandro told her, handing the items back.

"What?! Me?!" Sammy gasped.

(confessional)

Alejandro: Sammy needs a confidence boost if she's going to stand up to Chef. What better way than to have her play the killer?

Static

Alejandro placed a hand on Sammy's shoulder. "You are our leader after all. I have full confidence you can do this."

"Well...I guess if you think I can..." Sammy trailed.

"I'm not sure about this, but I also don't care enough to argue." Amber shrugged.

Meanwhile with the Grips things were a lot more straightforward. "Duncan's our killer." Trent said.

"He certainly comes across as sociopathic enough." Noah agreed.

"Plus he's a total freak!" Amy smirked.

"True, even if I'd like to be the killer, Duncan would probably do a better job." Gwen admitted. "I remember in season one he scared most of his team during the camping challenge."

"Thanks pasty, it's kinda cool you remembered." Duncan smiled.

"Of course I remembered. It was like the best part of that entire episode. The moment you pulled that hook prop out at the end," the goth laughed. "Classic."

"I know my horror classics. Like Bloodbath 2: Summer camp Reign of Terror!" Duncan said in an announcer voice.

"No way! That's my favorite movie! I love when the killer jams that guy's hand into the lawnmower!" Gwen said.

"Ha! Or when he pushes the chick off the dock and then she lands on a propeller blade that slices her in half?" The punk replied.

" Or when he shoves that big dude's head inside the wood chipper!" They said at the same time, laughing.

The focus shifted back to the other Grips. "Right, so this should be no problem for Duncan." Trent blinked.

/

It is 'night' on the forest set as a cricket chirps in the background. Trent can be seen in the foreground. "Well they've got the spooky atmosphere down." The guitarist remarked.

Amber sighed as she approached him. "Let's hope its enough to make me scream."

"Trent and Amber, prepare yourselves for your killer to enter." Chris announced as the two contestants moved to their respective sets. "and then I want huge massive ginormous screams!" The host continued as he was shown in the directors chair. "We'll be measuring the volume on our scream O' meter. A canned scream went off as a meter was shown over Chris' head. It is a speaker symbol with a large soundwave that got bigger as it moved right. It started out green before transitioning to yellow and ending on red.

"Lights," Chris announced as a light lowered. "Camera." A video camera started to roll. "Action!" A clapboard came down over the scream transitioning to Amber in her forest scene. Sammy is seen sneaking up to the bushes in her mask.

She jumped out with a loud growl. Amber attempted to scream but the meter just barely moved, not even going past the green waves. "I'm sorry Sammy. I'm just not scared of you, and I'm really bad at pretending to scream."

Sammy sighed and the focus shifted to show Chef and Alejandro watching. Alejandro looks annoyed while Chef face palms. "How is she gonna win like this?" The cook complained.

"I don't know Chef, you seem to think you can encourage her better than I. Figure it out." The Spaniard goaded. Chef growled.

Meanwhile Trent is out in the forest when Duncan jumps out of a fake tree wearing the hockey mask. "When I'm done with you, they'll have to scoop up the pieces!" Duncan said with a guttural roar. Trent screamed loudly. The meter filled all the way up.

With a solid fifty on the scream o' meter, let's notch one up for Duncan, Trent, and the killer grips!" Chris declared.

/

A blue porta potty is shown as the focus zooms in before cutting inside. Gwen is sitting on the toilet. "I'll be honest, I'm not sure how well this'll go. I love horror movies, but I get more of an adrenaline rush from them than actually being scared. So I might have to phone it in."

/

A flash transition shows Topher is sitting on the another toilet. "Sammy might not be scary but I can sell that she is. Just watch Fanphers. You think that's a good name for my fans? I've been working on-"

Sammy burst through the door and growled loudly. Topher screamed loudly, sending the meter flying up.

/

Another flash transition takes us to the other potty. Duncan jumps in brandishing a hook prop. "Prepare to meet your demise!" He growled in a low guttural voice.

Gwen let out a very unconvincing scream that barely went three or four waves up. She sighed.

/

Back in the other potty Topher is still screaming as the meter reaches the end of the screen. Sammy lifts her mask. "Wow, am I really that scary?"

(Confessional)

Topher: No, not really, I'm just a great actor.

Static

Topher stopped screaming. "So how much longer is this scene? I can't risk straining my voice by screaming much longer. "

/

Back with Duncan and Gwen the goth frowns. "Sorry Duncan, as a horror aficionado it takes a lot more than a simple jump scare to get me."

"Honestly, I probably wouldn't do much better." Duncan admitted.

The focus transitioned outside as Chris announced, "That's round two to Topher, Samey and the Screaming Gaffers with an impressive 85 on the scream O' meter."

The focus shifted to Alejandro and Chef watching. "Seriously? If it wasn't for that Topher kid being such a good actor Sammy would have already lost the challenge for her team." Chef complained.

"Hmm, then perhaps you should help her? You certainly haven't done much so far." Alejandro smirked. Chef looked thoughtful.

/

The focus is on a set of a cabin room with ragged curtains on the window, a potbelly stove with a kettle on top, and a blue couch in front of said stove. Ellody and Harold are sitting on the couch with Chris standing in front of them. "Alright guys, this is the tiebreaker scene, you're gonna have to act your faces off."

Harold's eyes widened as he looked at the script. Ellody's face flushed as she did the same. "Oh my." She whispered.

"Yeah!" Harold said excitedly.

"So, I suppose we must engage in the act of kissing. I'll be honest it has crossed my mind." Ellody admitted.

"Really?" Harold gasped.

"Yes, I really like you Harold, but I'm a little nervous. I've never…" The genius trailed.

"Wow. I get to give you your first kiss?" The geek said. "In that case I'll make sure it's memorable."

/

The Grips are on an identical set of a cabin room, save for the fact the couch is red. Amy and Noah are on said couch and immediately protest. "Eww! You want to kiss a nerd?!"

"Well I'm not exactly thrilled to kiss you either." The cynic blanched.

Chris peeked out from behind the couch before popping into full view. "Don't forget kiddies! It's a million bucks!" The host reminded them before ducking back behind the couch.

They both shuddered. "For the million." Noah groaned.

"Only for the million." Amy agreed. The two of them leaned forward, their lips barely touched before they pulled away gagging.

"That was the worst experience of my life!" The blonde screamed.

"Does anyone have mouthwash, so I can wash the taste of vapid narcissist out of my mouth?" Noah deadpanned.

"Here." A guttural voice said from behind the couch, handing Noah a bottle of mouthwash which he used immediately. He tossed to Amy who proceeded to gargle as well. They spit onto the floor of the set.

"That was oddly nice of Chris." Noah frowned.

"Wasn't me." The host replied from off screen.

Noah and Amy's eyes widened in realization. "Then that means-" Duncan jumped out from behind the couch and growled loudly brandishing the knife. Amy and Noah both screamed, sending the meter flying to the end of the screen in an instant.

/

Back with the Gaffers Harold cupped Ellody's face and began to kiss her gently. Samey appeared from behind the couch with a knife. "I'm gonna chop you to bits!" The two nerds had no reaction, too lost in their kiss.

That was when a familiar shadow settled over the three of them the focus shifted to the doorway as Chef revved a chainsaw, causing the two nerds to scream loudly. Sammy literally fainted.

Chris entered the scene. "Well it looks like you lost Gaffers."

"What?!" Ellody and Harold protested. Chef looked mad too.

"Sorry but the challenge was for Samey to scare you two not Chef. So The Grips win!" Chris smirked, looking pointedly at Chef. He turned to face the screen. "Join us after the break to see if Samey's still alive. Samey, Come in Samey."

/

All of the remain contestants are shown in a circle looking down."Sammy?! Sammy are you okay?!" Trent cried.

"I think she's saying something." Alejandro noted. The focus shifted to Sammy lying on the couch and a ripple effect took the screen. Sammy is a dark void. "Where am I?"

A low red glow appears ahead of Sammy to her left. Chef steps into the light. "Sammy, I can help you find your way out."

A low blue glow appears ahead of Sammy to her right. Alejandro steps into it. "Sammy, he's just trying to use you."

"Says the most manipulative player in the game!" Chef barked. "Sammy come here!"

"No, come here instead." Alejandro said gently.

Sammy looked back and forth between the two as they continued to call her name. "Sammy!"

"Sammy,"

"Sammy,"

"Sammy"

The ripple effect takes us back to the present where Trent is shaking her gently. "Sammy, Sammy wake up!"

The blonde opened her eyes. "Trent? What happened to Chef?"

"Chef's in a meeting with the producers." Chris said. "A disciplinary meeting. He's in trouble. He's not allowed to mess with the challenges."

"You don't say." Alejandro smirked.

Trent's eyes narrowed at the Spaniard.

"Moving right along." Chris continued. "It's time to pack up those overnight bags loser Gaffers. You and your sleeping bags are spending the night in the dining hall. Grip Winners, back to the comfort of the trailers for a little R & R. I'll see you there in half an hour."

/

The dining hall is shown before we cut inside to see Harold bragging. "This won't be so bad. I learned to sleep in much worse conditions in the Possum scouts.

"Great Harold, we were just wondering how we'd make it through the night. Whatever would we do without you." Amber deadpanned.

"Be as sarcastic as you will Amber. I will prove my mad skills!" Harold declared.

"Guys, you mind joining us here?" Chris asked as the focus shifted to show all the other Gaffers sitting around a dull teal chair. Amber and Harold sat down too. "I'm about to tell you… why this film lot was abandoned and closed."

"Because of rampant OSHA violations?" Ellody asked.

"Hush, my child." Chris told her. "This film lot is perfectly safe on this plane. But on the other dimension…" The host trailed, pulling out a flashlight and using it to light his face up in a spooky manner.. Amber is shown rolling her eyes as the host continues. "Ronnie the Rent-a-cop, a designated security guard who worked here for twenty-five loyal years until her mysterious death right here… " Chris raised his voice and pointed at the floor as the focus moved out to show the Grips. "on this very spot!" Of the Grips only Harold,Topher, and Sammy seemed scared. The other three remained unmoved.

The focus zoomed in on Chris talking to an enraptured Topher. "Now, her desperate and uneasy spirit walks the lot." Chris shines his flashlight along the outer wall of the tent, revealing the silhouette of a skeletal tree. "No one has ever managed to spend a whole night in this craft service tent."

"Because it was liable to cave in on them?" Ellody said.

Chris got in the genius' face as he shined the flashlight on his own. "'Cause… of the haunting!" The group is shown in full as Chris turns off his flashlight. "Your task? Spend the whole night here without leaving this tent." The host walked to the right as he continued to explain stopping before one of the tables which had several clunky devices on them. "If you manage to do so, your team gets invincibility and nobody goes home."

The focus moves in on the three devices one looks a lot like a calculator with five buttons on it and a meter where the screen would be. Another looks like a speed gun with a green light on top. The third looks like a walkie talkie, with a screen that had two bars on it as several small buttons beneath it. "Track any psychic phenomenon using these ghost meters. And just in case…"

Amber reached for the flashlight Chris was holding and the host whipped it away, holding out a small keychain flashlight instead. Amber too. "Thanks for the concern." The bookworm remarked sarcastically.

/

The focus is on the trailers as the Grips are gathered around a fire outside it. Chris joins them. "The Screaming Gaffers are sitting in the craft services tent like sitting ducks. Your task is to make like special effects gurus, and frighten the pants off them." The focus panned over the Grips showing them all to be Smirking. The host chuckled. " Or at least scare them enough to get them out of the tent before dawn."

"Any requirements on how we scare them?" Noah asked.

"Nope! It's your call. But if you get them out, your team wins invincibility and nobody goes home. Oh, just so you know, I told them some cockamamie story about a security guard who died on set. " Chris chuckles once more and walks off.

"Okay, does anyone have any ideas?" Trent asked.

"Please Samey will be easy to scare. I've done it all the time." Amy bragged.

"Sure but we also have to scare Alejandro and Ellody. No way will that be easy." Noah pointed out.

"Ooh! Chainsaws! I love a good chainsaw!" Duncan said.

"I think we should take advantage of the tent's fabric walls to use silhouettes." Gwen said.

/

The Grips are all shown outside the tent now. Gwen smirked as she draped a sheet over Duncan.. "All I need you to do is strike your scariest pose while standing right outside the front wall. They have the lights on, so you won't show up quite as well as I'd like, but I'm sure you can make up for it." The goth turned to the other Grips. "As for the rest of you I need you to make the most haunting wails you can manage, and I'll speak for the ghost."

The scene cut inside where the Gaffers are doing their own things. Topher is combing his hair, Alejandro is studying the devices Chris left for them. Amber is reading, and Ellody and Harold are attempting to build a card house.

"Steady. Steady," Harold gently placed a card on the third level of the house. It falls apart. Topher laughs. "I'd like to see you do better! Gosh!"

Topher's eyes widened as he looked out. "Look!"

The Gaffers turn to face the front wall where a ghost like silhouette stands menacingly. Horrorifc wails fill the air as the ghost speaks. "You who have trespassed on my territory! You will pay for your transgressions. Begone from this place!"

Topher, Sammy, and Harold are all heading for the door. Amber has her arms wrapped around Alejandro in fear. The Spaniard remarks. "The ghost meter isn't going off."

"And thus far we have no proof that this is an actual spirit." Ellody reminded them. She turned to face the silhouette on the wall. "If you are truly a ghost then show yourself before us!"

There was silence followed by the 'ghost' replying. "You dare to doubt my existence?! Fine, I'll rest on my laurels for now, but I will return!" With that the silhouette retreated.

Ellody smirked. "Clearly this 'ghost' is nothing but an illusion meant to frighten us out of the tent."

Harold joined her. "You're so brave. Of course I totally knew it wasn't real."

(Confessional)

Ellody: It's simply logical. Even if such a spirit were to exist it would surely do more than vaguely threaten us from outside the tent. Fear is only in the mind. Simply apply logic and you will be unaffected.

Static

Outside the tent Duncan no longer has a sheet on him. Amy scoffed. "Nice job scaring them gothie."

"I don't see you offering any ideas." Gwen huffed.

"Zip it you two." Duncan interrupted, "I'm taking charge now."

/

The Grips are in the kitchen. Bottles of Corn Syrup and Ketchup as shown before the focus moves left to show Duncan mixing a bowl of red fluid. He dips his finger in and tastes it. "Hm, needs more corn syrup. It's not quite scabby enough."

"I'll look for some." Trent told him as he walked off.

Gwen smirked as she looked at the bowl. "Gotta hand it to you, it really looks like blood."

"Devil's night, my brothers and I used to wait outside kindergarten with this goop dripping off us. Ha, one year, I gave a dozen five-year-olds seizures." Duncan chuckled.

"Because scaring children is really hard." Noah rolled his eyes.

"Seriously? That is so gross." Amy told him.

Trent returned with the corn syrup and handed it to Duncan. "Sorry it took a bit to find it. This kitchen's a mess."

/

Amy was holding the bowl of fake blood with a smirk on her face. She glanced at Duncan who peered through the fabric at the Gaffer. The focus moves inside where the Gaffers are once more doing their own thing. Harold and Ellody are still attempting to build a house of card. "Careful Harold, the slightest bit of extra force will throw the house's equilibrium off."

"I know what I'm doing." Harold replied. Sammy screamed and pushed her hands against the table, knocking the entire house over. "My house!"

The wooden panel blocking the kitchen pick up area was dripping with what looked like blood.

"The walls are bleeding!" Sammy shrieked. She, Topher, and Harold all headed for the door. Alejandro raises an eyebrow. "The meter still isn't going off."

"Not only that, but using my Olfactory sensors, I have deduced that this is not blood. Allow me to confirm with my taste buds." Ellody said. She walked over to the dripping blood and swiped some on to her finger before tasting it. "As I suspected, this is merely a concoction of ketchup and corn syrup."

Topher walked over to the blood and tasted it as well. "She's right."

The focus moved back to Duncan looking through the curtains with a frown as he closed them.

/

Amy is still balancing on the other side of the board with the bowl of fake blood as she complains. "Great. Any other brilliant ideas people?!"

"It's not like you've come up with anything Amy." Trent glared.

"Fine, I'll do it myself!" The twin declared.

A montage began of the Grips trying to scare the Gaffers. First they are all shown outside the tent banging pots and pans. Harold, Sammy, and Topher run for the exit when Alejandro shows them the ghost meter. They calm down.

Next Amy and Noah are shown on a rafter above the dining area. Amy has a bucket full of some green jelly. Noah counts down with his finger and Amy pours it over the rafter where it lands on Sammy. The blonde screams and runs for the door but Ellody takes the slime off of Sammy and eats it. She smiles and hands it to Sammy who smiles and she realizes what it actually is.

The third and final clip shown starts with Harold accidentally making his tower fall he points at the far wall where light keeps flickering on and off outside. Ellody rolls her eyes and walks over to the wall, lifting the fabric up to reveal Trent's feet. The guitarist runs off quickly.

/

"Ugh! It's only thirty minutes until sunrise! We need a plan!" Amy snapped.

"I have one." Noah smirked.

"Well let's hear it then brainiac." Amy huffed.

"The problem is that we're doing scares in isolation.." The cynic told them. "Good horror is about building an atmosphere. We wanna scare them, we gotta prime them for it."

/

The Gaffers are once again doing their own thing. Amber's reading, Topher's primping, Alejandro looking at the meters, and Harold and Ellody are still trying to build the card house. As everyone is distracted a masculine arm with a long cream colored sleeve reaches up from under the table and steals a pile of cards from next to Ellody.

"I think we're ready to add the next cards." Harold said." Hand me some?"

"Certainly Harold," Ellody moved to hand Harold the cards but they are not there. "Strange? I know they were there."

Topher briefly puts his nail file down. The same arm from before snatches this too. Topher reaches for it. "Hey! Who took my file!"

"Maybe you just dropped it?" Amber noted.

"I know I didn't! It just vanished!" Topher snapped. That was when the lights went out.

"A power outage? Now?!" Sammy gasped.

The focus showed Trent at the breaker. Back inside the tent Ellody turned on the keychain flashlight they were given. "It's fine. We only have a bit until daybreak. The flashlight should last that long."

The sound of footsteps makes Harold lean closer to Ellody and Sammy jump. "Where are those coming from?"

Ellody shines the flashlight around but sees nothing. "I don't know, the light doesn't cast far enough."

The focus shows Gwen in the kitchen, carefully stepping down in her clunky boots to make her footsteps sound.

Next the long scratching sound can be heard. At this point Amber has grabbed onto Alejandro anxiously. "An animal?" She asked.

The focus shifted to show Noah on the beam holding up the tent running his fingernails along the beam. He nodded to his left where Amy stood. With a smirk the blonde let out a high pitched, bloodcurdling scream.

Down with the Gaffers, Harold and Topher start heading for the exit Amber and Ellody both look highly concerned. Sammy on the other hand calms down immediately. "This is just the Grips trying to scare us!" She smirked. "I'd recognize that scream anywhere! It's Amy!"

As if Sammy's realization brought it on, the sun peeked over the horizon. The Grips were out of time.

Chris stepped into the tent. "Congratulations Gaffers! You made it!" The Gaffers cheered. "Which means our loser grips can come out." Gwen stepped out from the kitchen. Duncan got out from under the table. Trent entered the front door, and both Noah and Amy climbed down from the beam. " I'll see you all at elimination." The host smirked.

(Confessional)

Amy: Great! Just great. We lost again, and just know Trent's gonna try to get me out. (From outside Noah's voice comes)

Noah: You're right about that. Trent's Already asked both Gwen and I.

Amy: Are you listening in you freak?!

Noah: Look, I can try to convince Duncan to help us vote out Trent. You know, if you wanted to take me up on that alliance offer?

Amy: (Grits her teeth and sighs.) Fine.

Static

Trent is confronting Sammy in the crafts and service tent. "Look, I've been watching you all day. What's Alejandro doing to you?"

"Nothing! He's trying to help actually!" Sammy told him.

"Then why have you looked so scared around him lately?" Trent asked.

"Well…" Sammy looks to see Chef glaring at her from the kitchen down. She blanches. "You know how sometimes it feels like everyone wants to tell you what to do, and you don't know who to trust?"

"Yeah? Is that what's happening?" Trent asked.

"I'm just caught between some people right now. I'm not sure how to solve it." Sammy sighed.

/

The stage with the two giant Chris statues is shown as spotlights wave in front of it. A series of clips featuring Chris from last season ,several of them just him talking, roll over the screen in two parallel lines, a vertical line of clips include one where Chris is dress as a pirate rolls down between them, as two more clips, one of Chris in a helicopter and one of him with a clapboard, move out to either side, the focus zooms out to show a giant gilded Chris as fireworks go for in the background.

The Grips are shown in the bleachers, Noah, Trent, and Duncan on top. Gwen, and Amy on bottom.

"And now failure Grips, it's time to announce who will not win a gilded Chris this evening." Chris said as he stepped to the podium in his blue tux. " Who deserves to go home brutally disappointed, tears in their eyes?"

Chef walks on stage in his hot pink dress with the Gilded Chris' in his arms, an irate look on his face. He handed Chris the envelope. "And the Gilded Chris' go to… Noah, Gwen, and Duncan." The three teens are shown as they catch their trophies. "Still on the chopping block, Trent and Amy."

The two rivals are shown glaring at each other as Chris continues. "And the final gilded Chris goes to…

…

…

…

…

Amy." The twin caught her Chris with a smirk. Trent's wide eyes narrow. "So that's it huh? I hope you like having someone so untrustworthy on your team."

Trent is shown walking down the red carpet of shame when Sammy runs to him and hugs him. "You can't be leaving!"

"Hey, it's okay-" Trent began.

"No it isn't." Sammy whispered. "I wanted to tell you earlier but Chef was listening. Chef's been trying to make an alliance with me. The only way he'll back off is if I directly tell him I don't want one, and now when I need you most, you're leaving." The blonde said, tears in her eyes.

Trent cupped her face. "Is that what you were talking with Alejandro about?" She nodded. "Hey, I know you have it in you somewhere. You'll find the courage to do it."

"But without you I-" Sammy began.

"You can." Trent cut her off. He leaned forward and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him tightly. Shortly afterward Chris pushed the two of them apart.

"Trent the Lame-o-sine awaits." Chris gestured. Sammy followed as the guitarist climbed into the vehicle and it drove off. The blonde looked devastated. The host turned to the audience. "Well folks, looks like Samey's boyfriend has just hightailed it out of here. Now that she's survived this week's fright fest," The host draped an arm over the twin's shoulders. " She'll have to do the most horrific stomach churning challenge yet. Standing up to Chef." Chris chuckled. "I love this game."

Bonus clip.

Trent is in the lame-o-sine. He sighed. "I can't believe my team voted me out over Amy, and I can't believe Sammy's going through such a struggle and I'm not there for her. I mean I guess it could be a good thing. I won't always be there for her, but man I wish I could be. Still, I know she can do it, and I'll be cheering for her from home." Trent's eyes widen as someone speaks from off screen. "Wait? There's an aftermath show now?"

Chapter Text

The recap begins with clips of Sammy screaming at the 'bleeding' wall. Sammy jumping out of the bushes in her hockey mask, and Chris impaled on the standing light. "Last time on Total Drama Action!" Alejandro confronting Chef is shown, followed by Noah and Amy brushing lips, then Ellody and Harold being scared and Sammy fainting. "Alejandro confronted Chef about his intimidation of Samey. Noah and Amy received the scare of their lives, while Chef tried and failed to help Samey with her challenge."

Duncan scaring Amy and Noah is shown, followed by several attempts to scare the Gaffers with each one being foiled by Ellody's logic. Then Sammy is shown recognizing Amy's scream as the sun rises. "Victory seemed within reach as Duncan one the scream off, but the Gaffers proved harder to scare than expected. With Samey recognizing Amy's scream the Grips lost yet another challenge."

Amy and Noah talking is shown, followed by Trent being eliminated, his tearful goodbye with Sammy, and him entering the lame-o-sine. "Noah convinced Amy to join him by offering to eliminate Trent, who wasn't happy with that turn of events. Sammy confronted Trent before he left, telling him all about her Chef problems. Unfortunately Trent had no choice but to leave her behind."

Sammy is shown looking nervous, then the screen splits to show Chef smirking, then splits again to show Alejandro scowling. "With her boyfriend out of the game can Samey stand up to Chef? What will Chef do to try and stop her? And is Alejandro going to be able to help in any way?"

Chris is shown entering the trailer area to finish out the recap. "Discover all that and more in another thrilling, and filling, episode of Total. Drama. Action."

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The crafts and services tent is shown briefly before the focus cuts inside to reveal the Grips eating their paste. Gwen doesn't look happy. "I can't believe you would vote out Trent over Amy! He didn't do anything wrong, and I know all three of you voted for him because there was no tie breaker."

Duncan slung an arm over the goth's shoulders. "Relax Pasty. Next time we lose Amy's gone."

Gwen removed his arm from her shoulders. "That's not the point!"

The focus shifted over to the Gaffers. Topher is smirking. "Nine challenges in and we've only lost one member! I knew siding with Alejandro was the right choice!"

Alejandro smirked back. "Don't sell yourself short, you've done your part well." He praised, placing a hand on Topher's in a meaningful way.

"That means a lot coming from you." The blonde replied, smirking directly at Amber.

Sammy tapped on Alejandro's shoulder. "Can I speak with you?"

"Of course amiga." The Spaniard replied. The moment he and Sammy had left, Amber turned to Topher.

"You know he doesn't care about you. He's just using you." She pointed out.

Topher's smirk widened. "And I'm okay with that."

The focus moved to where Alejandro and Sammy were talking near the kitchen door. "I have no idea how I'm gonna stand up to Chef!"

"You can do it, you simply must fine the strength within." Alejandro told her.

"But what if he does something terrible if I tell him no?" Sammy whispered.

"You must remember that Chef is just a guy. He's also merely a co host. What can he really do?" Alejandro scoffed.

The focus shifted into the kitchen where Chef is listening in. "Yeah, but he's scary, and Co hosts still have a lot of power."

"It's Chris who calls the shots though." the Spaniard replied.

Chef's eyes narrowed. "We'll see about that."

The focus shifted back to Sammy and Alejandro. "On top of it all Trent's gone. I just can't believe Amy's managed to stay in the game longer than him." The twin sniffled. "I just-"

Alejandro cupped her cheek and looked her in the eye. "You don't need him to stand up for yourself. You are a strong, powerful woman, and I know you can do this."

The focus shifted back to Topher and Amber who are watching this. Topher smirks. "Looks like Alejandro's working his charm on Sammy too."

Amber huffed. "He's just helping her."

"I'm sure he is, but I can't help but notice he's been having a lot of private conversations with her lately." The blonde smirked. "Just saying."

(Confessional)

Amber: Topher's not as subtle as he thinks. I know Alejandro's not the most loyal person, but I also know Sammy wouldn't do that to me. If Alejandro was making moves on her she'd tell me. Although, I do wonder what exactly they're talking about…

Static

Harold picked a straw out of the container in front of him. "Bendy straws! These are just like the ones they had at the hospital where I had my kidneys switched."

Ellody looked intrigued. "Tell me more."

"I was born with a rare kidney condition. My left kidney was where the right one should be." The nerd explained.

"Fascinating, such an unusual condition." the Genius remarked.

"Yep, I'm a rare case." Harold smirked proudly. "I'm gonna load up." The geek said.

"That's a good idea Harold. We may need them later." Ellody said.

"Well if you want them, you can have them." Harold said, handing her the cup's worth.

"Are you sure?" Ellody asked.

"Absolutely." Harold replied as Ellody put the straws into her skirt pocket.

"Good morning folks. Hope you've had your fill, because you won't be holding on to your lunch much longer." Chris said as he entered the tent.

"And exactly what torture have you concocted for us today?" Duncan asked, arching his unibrow.

"Oh nothing." The host replied in an overly innocent tone. "Just that your day will be a total disaster. Get it? It's a disaster movie theme! You know? Like in disaster flicks?" Chef is shown running on a blank light gray background. "People running for their lives from volcanos," A volcano fell behind Chef with a crack following him as he ran. "Earthquakes," The crack split open as Chef continued running. "Asteroids," And asteroid nearly hits Chef. "Tidal waves." A giant wave flowed over Chef, when it cleared Amber and Sammy were shown staring with their mouths agape. "The more disastrous the better."

(Confessional)

Amy: This entire show is a disaster already, and now Chris is actually trying to make it one? Static

Noah: Well then, we're more doomed than a snowball on a sunny day in the middle of Ecuador during a heat wave.

Static

Chris is now standing next to a panel of controls as he begins his explanation. "Your first challenge is: The earthquake of inevitable pain." As he introduced the challenge the focus shifted to show a steep slope with two obstacle courses set up. Each one began with a tire walk, before moving on to some traffic cones, monkey bars over a pool of water, a tunnel to crawl through, a rolling log, and ended with a wooden wall. "Each team has to run the course challenging your dexterity," The tires were shown in close up. "Maneuverability." The screen spilt horizontally showing the traffic cones. "And other mad monkey skills." The screen split again to show the monkey is shown at the end of the course standing atop a ladder with an evil smirk on his face as he tossed a small concrete brick in one hand.

"First team to the top wins. Best out of two earns today's reward. " Chris concluded.

"Great, another physical challenge. My favorite." Noah groaned.

"Just don't drag the rest of us down." Duncan smirked back.

"Enough with the chitty chat!" Chris interrupted. "Take your marks."

Static

The teams are shown at the beginning of the obstacle course. The focus is on the Gaffers where Alejandro is stretching. "This will be a piece of pie."

The focus shifted right to the Grips. Noah is looking at the course with clear trepidation. "Life, why do you hate me so?"

"And…Action!" Chris declared, setting off an airhorn.

The Gaffers are shown heading through the tire part of the obstacle course with Alejandro in the lead followed by Topher and Sammy. It shifts to show the Grips doing the same with Duncan in the lead followed by Gwen and Amy. The focus is on Gwen's feet as she runs through the tires before cutting back up to her smiling. " And here I was expecting a challenging course!"

"Are you ready to rock!" Chris asked, laughing as he pulled a lever on the control panel in front of him. Instantly the slope began to move up and down, simulating an earthquake. Gwen falls back on to Amy from the sudden movement.

"Watch it gothie!" Amy snapped.

The focus shifted back to the Gaffers where Alejandro and Topher are struggling to stand amongst the traffic cones. Topher grabs onto the Spaniard, causing both to fall briefly, when they stand back up Alejandro has a pair of traffic cones on his chest and an unamused expression.

Further along the Gaffer's course Sammy is attempting to cross the monkey bars. The focus shifted to Chef on his ladder. "Time to put a little fear into her, and get rid of some old junk at the same time." He reached into the bag next to him and pulled out a frayed American football which he threw directly at Sammy sending her back into Alejandro, who had just begun the bars himself.

The focus moves back to Chef as he begins to throw various items including a bathroom sink, bowling ball, hammer, an off red rotary phone, and a rubber ducky which he squeaked before throwing.

The focus shifted to Duncan, who was now crossing the monkey bars, the duck hit him and he rolled his eyes. "Seriously?"

Down with Chris, the host pulled the lever again. Up on the course Noah heaved a sigh of relief. "Finally."

"Aftershock!" Chris called cheerily as he pulled the lever again.

Noah immediately fell back down the tire section of the course. He landed roughly at the bottom. " Why my coccyx?" He groaned.

"And now it's lava time!" Chris declared as he hit a button on the panel, at the top of the course and slot moves to unleash a red liquid onto the the overwrought contestants below.

Chef stuck a finger into it and tasted it. "Tomato soup?!" The focus shifted to a giant can of tomato soup being sucked up through a pipe. "That was supposed to be supper."

The soup has reached the monkey bars and Sammy, Alejandro and Topher grab on to the bars to avoid it. The focus shifts to show Duncan and Gwen are doing the same on the gaffer's set of bars.

"Phew, is it getting hot in here?" Chris asked with a wave. "How bout a cool refreshing hailstorm!" As the host finished this sentence the focus moved out to show him sitting on a golf ball shooter hitched to a cart Chef was driving. The cook honked the horn. Chris sat in the seat of the shooter and began to aim. "Golf ball sized hail is bad, but hail sized golf balls are even worse!" He laughed as she began to shoot.

Back up near the tunnel part of the obstacle course Gwen attempted to dodge, but was hit back into the tunnel by several of them. Chris laughed as he pointed. "I got one!"

"Don't get cocky kid." The chef said from the cart.

Chris is shown shooting golf balls yet again as the sounds of contestants being hit is hear from off screen. The focus shifted to Topher hanging on the monkey balls. "No! Not my face! Or my my hair, but especially not the face!" The golf balls hit Topher in the face.

(confessional)

Topher: (looking in a mirror. One of his eyes has a bright purple shiner.) Chris man! You know how important beauty is! How are my fans going to react?!

Static

Chris finishes up shooting golf balls and pulls out a lever with a button on it. "After After shock!" He said as he hit the button.

Back up on the course, the ground began to crack below the Gaffers. With a scream Topher fell in, with Alejandro just barely catching him. "I've got you!" The Spaniard said.

Amber ended up falling on top of him, leaving the bookworm desperately spread across the growing gap while Alejandro had one arm wrapped around her torso and the other hanging on to Topher.

"Way to kill us!" Topher snapped.

"You try keeping your balance while the ground cracks underneath you!" Amber screamed.

"Hold still guys, we'll get you out!" Sammy said as she grabbed Amber's legs, Harold grabbed on to her and Ellody on to him. They began to pull.

"Hopefully soon, the Grips are ahead of us." Harold noted.

/

Duncan and Gwen are on the rolling bar at the end of the course as they carefully sidle across. Amy begins to cross next as Chris shoots golf balls at her. She screamed and fell in the pit beneath her.

Meanwhile the Gaffers have all managed to reach the tunnel part of the course with everyone but Amber inside. The golf balls begin to pelt her as she complained. "If you're gonna shoot golf balls at me the least you could do is yell fore!"

"Fore!" Chris shouted with a laugh. He went to shoot more golf balls but it was empty.

Back on the course Amber beams. "He's out of ammo!" She cheered as she began to follow after her teammates.

"Chef! Do something!" The host complained at his partner. Chef backed up and we hear a crash off screen before the focus cuts to Chris slumped over the now crashed cart as Chef climbs the ladder yet again.

Once more Chef began to throw objects at the hapless contestants below the first being a potted plant. Duncan made it to the end of the course, with Gwen behind him. Amy is dragging Noah across the beam.

With theGaffers have also nearly finished the course as Amber sidles across the log and a blender hits her. "When does it stop?! She asked as she finally made it to the wall. Alejandro was helping Topher over it, then Amber climbs over it herself, leaving Harold and Ellody behind.

"Ladies first." The geek said as he hoisted her up.

Chef throws a torpedo, then pulls out an absolutely gigantic hard cover book with a green cover. "Ah my unpublished manifesto."

Ellody is shown dropping over the wall while Harold hoisted himself up. The focus shifted back to Chef as he moved to throw the book. "I've lived a lot of years! " He said as he threw it. Harold had just managed to get his head and upper body on the wall. The manifesto hit him right in the shoulder and the scene slowed as Harold fell back against the log below.

"My scapula!" Harold gasped as he passed out.

Ellody's eyes widened as she turned around. "HAROLD!" She rushed to his side. "Harold, have you sustained grievous bodily harm?!"

Back with Chef he smirked. "My editor was right. My life really is dangerous."

(Confessional)

Ellody: In life I have always been certain. I understand the world, having studied it thoroughly. Yet nothing could have prepared me for the emotional devastation of this moment. (She gasped.) Harold…

Static

Harold groaned as a cameraman wearing an orange beanie, white shirt with green collar and cuffs, matching green pants and sandals got up close to record it. The focus shifted to Chris as he climbed to the stop of Chef's ladder making a box with his fingers. "Chris! Aren't you going to get someone to help him?!" Gwen snapped.

"Yeah, yeah as soon as we're done getting every shot." The host remarked as another camera man, this one a large black man wearing a red hat and red and white jacket, passed him. "The good news is it looks like Harold won the challenge for the Screaming Gaffers." Alejandro and Topher were shown cheering, though the rest of the Gaffers were too concerned about Harold.

"What?!" Duncan snapped. "But we got everyone up here!"

"I had to drag Noah up half of the course!" Amy glared.

"You didn't have to." Noah deadpanned.

"At the rate you were climbing? Yes I did." The blonde retorted.

"Serious injury trumps all." Chris shrugged.

"You just make up the rules as you feel like it!" Amy hissed.

Chris turned to the camera. "I love my job."

/

A red flashing siren is shown in close up. Harold is shown being wheeled into an ambulance on a gurney. "The wounded Harold." As the truck drove off the Gaffers are shown, with Ellody gripping on to Sammy's shoulder tightly in worry. "What will become of him?" Chris popped up on screen. "Stay tuned to find out!"

/

After the commercial the scene fades in to show a close up of a water tower before shifting out to show the contestants standing on the end of a dock on the waterfront area of the film lot. A large yellow crane had lowered a submarine with a transparent wall revealing two rooms with hatches and compartments. Just off side was two large orange life rafts.

"What's Harold's current condition?" Ellody asked worriedly.

"Oh Harold's fine. A little broken shoulder but its been set. Shouldn't take more than six to eight weeks to heal." Chris reassured her.

"Harold's gonna be injured for that long?!" Sammy gasped.

"I mean, he's doing fine." Chris swallowed nervously.

(Confessional)

Chris: That's what release forms are for, correctamundo?

Static

"Alright, now its time for the second disaster themed challenge. " Chris told them as the focus moved out to show the teams were now on separate life rafts. "Who's excited?" Cricket chirped as the focus moved over the contestants none of whom seemed thrilled. Not even Topher.

"Because of Harold's win, the Gaffers have the advantage of getting this Handy Dandy Piece of paper. For the second disaster challenge." The host said as he folded the paper into a plane and sent it flying to the Gaffers, where Topher caught it.

He looked at the paper. "A secret code of some kind?"

"It's roman numerals you nitwit." Amber rolled her eyes. "Probably a code to a safe or something."

"Okay, time to get inside." Chris told them.

"Are you kidding me?! I'm claustrophobic!" Gwen screamed.

"Would you do it for a million bucks?" Chris smirked.

The goth sighed. "Money really is the root of all evil."

"And most stupidity." Noah added.

/

The focus is on the left most room of the submarine where the Grips stood. Two large red valves were connected to either side of the room, in the floor is a hatch with a dial on it, a set of pipes lead up to a water meter in the upper right corner, a loudspeaker is attached to the left of this. The focus moved over to the other room where the Gaffers are. Another water meter is in the lower left corner of the room, a large red valve was to the right of this, an identical hatch with a dial on it is on the floor. An elbow pipe is in the upper right corner.

"I don't like this." Gwen gasped. "It's so enclosed here."

As though in response a red light began to flash, shading the entire scene as everyone's eyes widened. Switching from the shocked looks of the Grips to the shocked looks of the gaffers. Amber gasped. "What's going on?!"

"I'm not sure." Topher swallowed.

Alejandro wrapped an arm around each of them. "Worry not, I'll keep you safe." He said, flashing a smile at both of them. Amber sighed.

"For this challenge you've got to get out before its too late." Chris's voice said from the speaker. The focus moved to the security room where the screens showed several of the contestants in close up.

"Too late? Too late for what?!" Amy asked.

"Oh you'll find out." Chris said as the rest of the room was shown, revealing Chef and Chris sitting at a table playing cards. Chris sat the microphone he was speaking into on the table.

"Pick up two." Chef said as he placed at card down.

"You mind cranking that lever?" Chris asked. The cook's hand was shown in close up as he pulled the lever.

Inside the rooms the pipes began to leak water.

"Wait, we're not only in a small room, we're in a small room filling with water?!" Gwen said nervously. "Chris is nuts!"

"Will you stop carrying on gothie? Literally no one cares." Amy rolled her eyes.

"Hey lay off!" Duncan glared.

"Oh, and why should you care what she does? You kept her in the game over Trent." The goth pointed out.

"I hate to break up this lovely conversation but we're currently in a death trap." Noah deadpanned.

/

With the Gaffers, Sammy is wincing as the water rises. "This water is freezing."

Alejandro is looking around the room when he finds a cardboard box. He pulls out several flashlights. "Pass these out." He instructed Sammy who nodded and began to do so. "Let's get to work."

/

Back with the Grips Amy is complaining. "It's too dark in here!"

Duncan easily peers through the gloom.. "No problem, I've got great night vision. A lot of the stuff I get up to happens when the sun goes down." He found the cardboard box and pulled out the flashlight. "This should help." He said as he tossed a flashlight to each of the others.

Gwen shines her light on the hatch in the ceiling. "I think I see a way out!"

"Or maybe it's the hatch with the dial lock?" Noah remarked dryly.

"Oh great. Didn't the Gaffers get a piece of paper?" Gwen sighed.

"Yeah, it probably has the code to this on it." the cynic said.

/

Amber is shining a flashlight on the hatch with the dial on it. "Topher! You have that paper from before?"

"Of course I do." Topher bragged.

"Hand it to me." The bookworm ordered.

"Like I'm gonna let you take the spotlight from me." the blonde scoffed.

"You said you couldn't read it earlier!" Amber snapped.

"Fine." Topher relented, tossing the paper to Amber. The bookworm scrambled to catch it but it fell in the water. "Way to go butterfingers."

Amber pulled the paper out of the water. "It's not that wet," she opened it to see the roman numerals were already smearing. "Great."

/

Duncan has a stethoscope on the hatch and is listening to the tumblers. "Come on. Come on."

"Duncan, you're a small time criminal, surely you know how to pick a combo lock?" Noah told him.

"Of course I know, but it takes time! And I need quiet." Duncan said pointedly.

"Yeah, shut it for once!" Amy told Noah.

"Says the girl who always has to tell everyone her opinion." Gwen scoffed.

"Like anyone cares what you think gothie!" the blonde smirked.

"Shut it!" Duncan yelled.

/

Back with the Gaffers, Ellody has her own stethoscope on the hatch as she turns it. At this point the water is well over the hatch. Ellody floats to the top with a gasp. "I'm sure I can figure out the combination on this lock, given enough time."

"In case you hadn't noticed we don't have time!" Amber panicked.

(Confessional)

Amber: I'm not good in high pressure situations. That's part of the reason I dropped the code in the water! Still, I tried to keep my head.

Static

Amber is hyperventilating.

Sammy shines a light on the hatch in the ceiling. "Maybe we can boost each other up?"

"Brilliant idea." Alejandro said, lifting her onto his shoulders. Topher climbed on top of the Spaniard and reached for the valve.

"It's a little far-" The blonde said before losing his balance, causing all three of them to fall in the water.

"Oh we're gonna die! We're gonna die!" Amber panicked.

"Relax, chica. If we wait until the water reaches the top of the room we should be able to open it easily." Alejandro explained.

"Right, right. Don't panic." The bookworm gasped, taking a deep breath.

/

Back with the Grips the water is nearing the top of their room. "Well the floor hatch is out." Noah deadpanned.

"Maybe we'd be out of here if someone wasn't so argumentative." Amy glared at Gwen.

"Okay you know what?! I have no idea how anyone could keep you over Trent!" Gwen glared.

"In case the two of you hadn't noticed we're going to drown." Noah complained as he tried to turn the valve on the ceiling hatch. "Someone help me get this open."

Duncan came over. "Fine, I'll help noodle arms." He easily turned the valve, opening the hatch and a shark came out. Noah slammed the hatch shut.

"Okay, we need a new plan!" Noah gasped.

/

Sammy opened the hatch in the Gaffers' room and fire shot out. She screamed and grabbed on to Alejandro. The focus shifted to the security room where Chef and Chris are playing cards. The host looks nervous. "Fire huh? Don't you think that's a bit much?"

The cook shrugged.

(confesional)

Chef: Seriously I'm not in the mood. Don't I deserve a little me time?! Besides, a little pressure could be good for those kids.

Static

The focus shows the four screens: Noah on the far left screen, Alejandro on the next screen, Amy on the third, and Sammy on the fourth. as the water continued to rise. "The water's getting pretty high, and those kids are terrible swimmers." Chris pointed out anxiously.

"Focus!" The cook snapped at him. "I want my chips back, I'm starving." He said, throwing a potato chip in his mouth.

"This is getting serious! Turn off the water!" Chris ordered.

Chef rolled his eyes and pulled the lever. It broke in half.

The host gasped. "We gotta get the cast out of there! Simple formula: No more contestants equals no more episodes equals no paycheck, and the end of my luxurious lifestyle!"

Chef shuffled the cards. "Texas hold'em?" He asked.

"You're not hearing me!" Chris panicked.

"What? Gin rummy?" The cook asked as he showed a hand.

/

The Grips are shown treading water. Duncan pulls Gwen close. "Look Pasty, voting out Trent was just a strategic move. It wasn't personal."

Gwen sighed. "I know, it's just he was my friend. I'm a little upset that one of my friends voted out the other."

"I understand." Duncan smiled, hugging her.

"Aw, isn't this heartwarming," Noah said in a saccharine tone , then he yelled. "Now can we focus on the fact we're going to die?!"

/

The Gaffers are all treading water too. Both Amber and Topher have their arms wrapped around Alejandro. "Chris wouldn't let us die! We're too important!" The blonde cried out.

"In case you hadn't noticed he's not saving us, so much for your idol!" Amber snapped , tears in her eyes. "Oh, I'm gonna die on a reality TV show!" She gasped holding Alejandro closer.

"That's a bright side, at least my death will be recorded for posterity." Topher noted.

The focus switched to Ellody. "I wish Harold was here! He's remarkably good in a high pressure situation." Her eyes widened in realization. "The bendy straws!" She gasped as she pulled them out of her skirt pocket. "Quick Sammy!" She turned to the blonde who blinked in response. "Help me build an impromptu water breathing apparatus!" She placed a straw in her mouth and began to sink into the water below.

"Okay?" Sammy replied, attaching another straw to the first one, and then another to that one and so on.

/

In the security room Chris relaxes a bit. "Brilliant! Ellody's gonna save the day, once she opens the hatch the water will drain from both of the rooms!" Chef is shown looking at his card briefly before scowling as Chris hugged him. "And I'll still have a paycheck!"

/

Ellody is shown under the water working at the combination lock as she listens to the tumblers. The screen splits horizontally to transition to Chris watching in nervous anticipation. The Grips are briefly shown treading water, before a flash transitioned to Chris peeking through his eyes anxiously. He gasped and covered his eyes before peeking through again. Straws are shown being attached to each other one after another by Sammy.

"Hurry Ellody! We're running out of time!" Alejandro called down. The water rose further, covering his mouth.

Ellody was turning the dial in the water. Then Chris is shown biting his nails as Chef plays solitaire. Back in the water Ellody stopped turning the dial and dropped the stethoscope pushing the hatch open. She waved up to the others and swam out of the hatch, with Alejandro, Sammy, Amber and Topher following her.

In the security room Chris cheers. He dances as he laughs in relief while Chef listens in annoyance and eats his chips.

In the Grips room Gwen gasps in relief. "Thank goodness the other team found a way out."

"We lost!" Amy snapped.

"We're alive. I'd call that winning." Noah retorted.

/

The focus is on a fire before moving out to show all of the contestants sitting on two wooden benches across from one another. All of them are in robes with most also having a matching towel on their head. On the Grips Duncan is in a red robe, Gwen in a black one, Amy in a red robe of a darker hue, and Noah in a teal robe all but Duncan have a towel on their head. On the Gaffer's Alejandro is in a maroon robe, Topher in a blue one, Sammy in a red one, Amber in a burgundy one, and Ellody in an orange one. All of them have a towel on their head. They all look cold.

Chris stepped into the fire light. "Well that was a pretty exciting day huh? Looks like Gaffers won the reward this time. Finally, you were due one, but I wasn't holding my breath." The host laughed as everyone glared at him. "And now let's see what the Gaffers have won." He continued, looking at a small piece of paper. "Oh,"

Chef Hatchet is shown in his hot pink dress ensemble with a red curtain behind him. The curtain parts to show a beautiful city background. "An all expenses paid trip to beautiful British columbia." A small cabin is shown on the lip of a volcano. "That's right, you'll be staying at the luxurious inn on the Volcano! A charming lodge teetering on the edge of a little known active volcano on Vancouver Island." As he wrapped this up the Gaffers were shown in close up to be either glaring or looking shocked.

"To get you there-" The host continued. Chef was shown in lederhosen and matching hate clutching a pickaxe as they walked up a mountain. "You'll be enjoying an exhilarating eight day hike up the craggy treacherous-"

"No way!" Topher snapped.

(Confessional)

Topher: Look Chris I'm all for drama, but we nearly died. How am I supposed to make a career for myself if I'm dead? Think of my fans!

Static

Ellody: I am simply glad I was able to think of a plan in such a high pressure situation. (She looks surprised.) Oh I believe I have made an accidental play on words. How amusing.

Static

"I think we'd all rather have chips and pop. Right?" Sammy asked. Everyone nodded.

"Suit yourselves," Chris smirked as he placed the paper in his pocket. "More money for my end of the year bonus."

(Confessional)

Alejandro: If Chris truly thinks we want to go on a disaster themed vacation after the harrowing experience we've all had today, then he is truly loco. (He twirls a finger around his head.)

Static

The four Gaffers are shown sitting at a table. Alejandro and Topher clink soda bottles together. The focus moves left to show Chris guiding Harold towards the table. "Listen, if you promise not to sue I'll make sure you get compensated."

"Got it." Harold nodded, walking to the table to join the rest of the Gaffers. Ellody smiled at him.

The focus shifted to Sammy and Alejandro specifically. "I can't help but wonder if Chef's the reason we nearly drowned today, he might have been trying to push me into agreeing to his alliance."

"It's a good theory, but you mustn't cave. If you agree he'll keep pushing any time you doubt him." Alejandro told her.

"That sounded kind of personal?" Sammy frowned.

Alejandro sighed. "I know from experience. Let's just leave it at that."

Chris is shown to have been listening in from where he's standing. "And that interesting conversation brings us to the end of another awesome episode. What disaster lies in store for our teams next time? I'm your host, Chris McLean, asking you to tune in , turn on, and find out.

Right here. On Total, Drama. Action!"

Chapter Text

The recap begins with shots of Sammy, Alejandro, Topher, Gwen and Duncan all hanging from the monkey bars in their respective obstacle course. "Last week on Total Drama Action." Chris is shown shooting the golf ball turret at Topher, Noah is shown falling down the course as it shakes and landing on his coccyx. Then Gwen is shown falling backwards on to an irate Amy. "Our competitors took it on the chin as they faced an all you can eat buffet or deadly natural disasters."

Harold is shown climbing over the wall when he gets hit in the shoulder by Chef's manifesto. Then Harold is shown being wheeled into an ambulance, before being shown with his arm in a sling. "But it was Harold's own feet that tripped him up. Ouch. Harold' broken shoulder means he's probably not gonna be able to much in the challenges." Gwen is shown fighting with Amy and snapping at Duncan. "Meanwhile on the Grips Trent's departure caused a few fights to break out. Especially between Amy and Gwen."

Alejandro is shown talking to Sammy about Chef. Then Chef is shown throwing a worn American football at Sammy. Then the teams are all shown in the submarines. "And Chef turned up the heat on Sammy as he began to target her, and was not as careful as he should be." The submarine is shown filling up with water as the four Grips are shown nearly drowning, followed by the Gaffers in the same position with Ellody surfacing with a gasp, then all of the water being drained out of the Grips submarine chamber. "Luckily we had a submarine tech simulator full of water to cool things down in a waterlogged event that had all our competitors gasping for air."

The contestants are shown around the campfire in their towels. "Sound tough? Get used to it!" Chris is shown with a pointer standing before a chart with a tank and two planes on it a small bunker is behind him, with a lookout tower to the left and a back drop of palm trees. "because this week is all out war! It's a desperate battle for survival, on Total. Drama. Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The episode begins in the co ed bathrooms where Sammy and Alejandro are meeting. "Okay. After last challenge you have to tell Chef no. Not doing so could be dangerous, not only to you but to the other competitors."

"I know, it's just I'm scared." Sammy sighed. "You know when I stood up to Amy last season it helped that there were a lot of people there who I knew supported me. But Trent isn't here, and no offense Alejandro but leaning on only you seems like a bad idea."

Alejandro nodded. " None taken. Then perhaps we should tell the team about your situation."

Sammy gasped. "But, what if they think I've been cheating? Or that Chef's been giving us an unfair advantage? I'm also the leader, so how would it look to have gotten into this mess?"

Alejandro pursed his lips. "That is a tough one. Fine then perhaps instead of the whole team, one other member you trust wholeheartedly?"

Sammy paused. "Amber. She's probably my best friend on the team. Maybe even the whole show at this point. If both she and you stood by for support while I talked to Chef, I think I could do it." 6 14

"Then we need to find a way to get Amber alone with you." The Spaniard said.

"How are we going to do that?" Sammy asked.

Before Alejandro could even start to answer, Harold, Ellody, Amy, and Gwen entered the bathroom. "Alejandro? Sammy? What are you doing in here together?" Ellody asked.

"I might ask you the same question." Alejandro deflected.

"Harold might need a little help on the toilet, so just in case I decided to remain just outside in case he needed me to get help." Ellody said.

"I appreciate it, but I'm fine." Harold told her.

"Good luck carrying that sad sack through the challenge." Amy chuckled.

"Amy there's this thing called compassion. You might want to try it sometime." Gwen deadpanned.

"Oh who cares Gothie, compassion isn't gonna get me far in the game." The twin said as she walked into a stall. Gwen rolled her eyes and did the same.

"Well, we will leave you all to your business." Alejandro said as he and Sammy took the opportunity to walk out.

Harold looked around and lowered his voice so only Ellody would hear. "Something is going on with those two. Have you seen how many times they've gone off to the side to talk to each other?"

"More than is coincidental I'll admit." Ellody whispered back.

"Exactly, they're keeping a secret from us." The geek said.

"You don't suppose its an alliance?" The genius asked.

"I don't know what it is, but if they're keeping a secret in this game, odds are it'll bite us big time if we don't find out what it is." Harold said.

"Then I'll have to keep an eye on them." Ellody decided.

"You mean we'll have to." Harold replied.

"Harold."

"I know you're worried, but I have to help."

The genius sighed. "Fine, if you insist."

/

The teams fell into line as Chris walked along them with a green military helmet on and his hands behind his back. "Today we're all about war movies. So look lively you,"

Chef finished the host's sentience dressed in a green army hat, tank top, camo pants, and army boots. "Buckets of horse doo doo!" He barked in Sammy's face.

"So get ready for your first death defying challenge you," Chris continued.

"Disgusting slimy crustaceans!" Chef barked.

"Move it privates! Fall in!" Chris ordered. A chorus of sir, yes sirs followed.

(confessional)

Duncan: I've always wanted to be a marine. They're rough, tough, they wear rad boots, and they say hoohah! No clue what that means but it just sounds so cool. Hoohah!

Static

The Grips are shown. "Great if the last military challenge is any indication I can expect to end up in confinement again." Noah huffed.

"It's a war challenge, not a boot camp." Duncan rolled his eyes. "You wanna win? Sit back and let me get my marine on! I'm the main course, the rest of you are gravy, as in on the side."

"Less work for me." Noah shrugged.

"And if we lose we can just blame Duncan." Amy smirked.

"Seriously you two? Just because Duncan says he can handle the whole challenge doesn't mean you two get to slack off." Gwen told them.

"Relax Gothie, We'll do what we have to. We just might not have to do a lot." Amy chuckled.

"I'm perfectly fine being on the side." The cynic agreed.

Gwen rolled her eyes.

/

The warehouse section of the film lot is shown as the camera panned up to the sky, a flash transition takes us to a split screen. The Gaffers on top, Grips on the bottom all of them sitting on benches blindfolded. "Okay people remove your blindfolds." Chris ordered. The contestants all did so as Chris entered what looked like the inside of a military plane. "When it comes to making war movies," The host began as the view shifted from over the host's shoulder to in front of him, revealing him to be standing next to a large box with a parachute on it. "Jumping out of an airplane is the most dangerous stunt there is." He finished, opening the box to reveal several parachutes.

"So naturally its our first challenge!" He declared, opening the sliding door to his right. Everyone gasped and the focus shifted to Amber and Sammy.

"Amber, I have to tell you something." The twin whispered.

"Does it have to do with all the time you've been alone with Alejandro?" Amber asked.

Sammy swallowed. "Yes, but I promise it's not anything romantic."

"I figured as much. Topher tried to convince me but I knew you'd never betray me like that. I trust you." Amber told her.

"Good, because I trust you too. Enough that I need your help." Sammy took a deep breath. "Amber-"

"Hey, what are you two ladies talking about?" Topher asked, sitting right between the two of them.

"Nothing!" Sammy gasped.

"Really? Because it certainly sounded like something." Topher pressed.

"Amigo." Alejandro said as he sat beside the blonde. "Sometimes ladies like to have their privacy."

"I'm not doing anything wrong sitting here." the blonde smirked. Alejandro sighed.

"I'll tell you later." Sammy whispered.

"Drop zone approaching." Chris announced from his spot near the door. "Form a line, it's time to partah! Stunt people undergo weeks of training before they parachute." the host explained as all the contestants stood up. Luckily we're gonna skip all that and get to the good ." Chris smirked.

"Are you sure? I feel the need to point out Harold has already sustained injury." Ellody said.

"What's the worst that could happen?" Chris asked.

"Off the top of my head. We could break a limb, end up in traction, rupture an organ, which would lead into internal bleeding, die on contact with the ground, die from the momentum of falling through the air, sustain bad enough brain injury to fall into a coma, and end up paralyzed for life." Amber listed off on her fingers. Everyone looked at her in shocked horror. "What?"

"Wow. And I already thought you were high strung." Gwen deadpanned.

"Parachuting requires training!" Amber retorted.

"It's okay, I just spoke to our research department." Chris said as he closed his flip phone. "There were no parachutes in world war one."

"Then what are we supposed to do for the challenge?" Amy asked.

"Simple." Chris remarked, kicking the chest of parachutes off the plane. Everyone looked horrified. "Who's jumping first?"

Gwen stood up and stretched. "Might as well get it over with." She jumped out of the plane. Duncan followed quickly enough, followed by Alejandro,Topher and Noah.

"If you need to land on my body to avoid further injury please do so." Ellody told Harold. She jumped out next, followed shortly by Harold.

Amber and Sammy stood at the door. Amber swallowed. "Oh I don't think I can do this."

"It is a far jump." Sammy said, shaking.

"I forgot you're afraid of heights." Amber replied. "Let's jump on three."

"Okay." Sammy gulped. "One,two," The two girls were pushed out of the plane.

"Three!" Cackled Amy. She walked to the door. "Break my fall Samey!" She called as she jumped.

The focus shifted out of the plane and when the dust from everyone landing cleared it was to reveal they were all on a mattress, the plane was merely a set, and two large fans had been simulating wind. "Hey, we're alive!" Amber cheered. Everyone else looked in various states of shock and annoyance. Well except Topher who seemed excited.

"Let's roll solders, because the next challenge is gonna blow your minds, and everything else within a fifty foot radius." Chris explained.

/

Chef's arms pull a tarp off of a pile of explosives. The focus moved out to show Chef and Chris were standing to the right of it and the contestants to the left. "You're letting minors handle explosives!" Amber gasped.

"Relax, they're just paint bombs." Chris reassured her. "We've devided the camp into two halves. Most creative and controlled splatter wins."

The Grips are shown as Duncan runs up to the pile of paint bombs. "Talk about a challenge custom made for me! I'm all over this!"

Noah nudged Amy. "Hey if there's one thing we know, it's that Duncan is an expert in vandalism. Destruction of property is his forte. There's no chance of us losing this."

"He's still gonna need help setting up the explosives." Gwen pointed out.

"Whatever, as long as he shows us where to put them it'll be a cinch." Noah smirked.

"As long as you can pick one up." Amy smirked.

"Just don't give me anything heavier than the grenades and I'll be fine." The cynic replied.

/

The Gaffers meanwhile are in another state. "I've got this! I'm a chem expert! What is an explosion other than the chemical reaction of trinitrotoluene decomposing at c 7h 5n 306 3n 2 plus 5 h2o plus 7co? " Harold said.

"Comprensible." Topher smirked.

"Okay Harold. Draw up a plan for us." Ellody told him.

A flash transition later and Harold is handing a piece of paper to Ellody. "Most industrious Harold. I suggest we break into two groups to handle this. "

"I'll go with Amber and Sammy then." Alejandro said.

"But-" Harold protested.

"We don't have time to argue." Alejandro said running off with the two girls mentioned.

"Harold, you aren't in any condition to lift explosives. You've done your part. Topher with me." Ellody told the blonde.

Now by himself, Harold walks off.

A flash transition takes us to Alejandro, Amber and Sammy. They are setting up explosives. As they do Sammy speaks up. "Amber, Chef's been trying to get me in an illegal alliance."

"What?!" Amber gasped.

"And he won't back down until Sammy tells him no." Alejandro explained.

"I can't do it alone, but if you and Alejandro were watching in support I think I could manage it." Sammy said.

"Okay, as soon as we get a break we're doing this." Amber told her.

The focus shifted to Harold who was listening quite a ways off with an ear trumpet. He gasped.

/

Harold returned to where Ellody and Topher were. "Excellent, we've just finished our half. I should check on the others' progress."

"Before you do I have to tell you something." Harold said. "I'm not sure what's going on, but I listened to Sammy, Alejandro, and Amber's conversation. I didn't get much of it even with the ear trumpet but I did hear the words Chef, and illegal alliance."

"You know what this means! Sammy's in an illegal alliance with Chef!" Topher gasped.

"That seems like a stretch." Harold said.

"What other explanation is there?" Topher frowned.

"Hey guys we finished our half." Sammy said as the other three Gaffers returned. All three Gaffers immediately tried to look nonchalant. "What were you talking about?"

The other three Gaffers are saved from having to answer by the arrival of Chris. "Time's up!"

/

Chris stands before the Grips with the plunger. "Grips, are we ready?"

"Time for a little punk rock." Duncan said as he pushed down the plunger. Various explosions of green paint go off in a perfectly controlled manner when the explosion cleared a gigantic skull shaped paint splatter was seen.

"And who says vandalism doesn't pay?" Chris asked Duncan.

"Nice, let's see if the Gaffers can match it." Noah said.

Duncan scoffed. "I saw Harold drawing up the plans for it. No way that nerd can beat me."

/

Chris is back with the Gaffers, Ellody is holding the plunger and Harold has his hand on it. " Are we ready to blow it up?"

"You do the honors Harold." Ellody said. Harold did so. Several explosion of green paint go off in a perfectly controlled manner and once the explosion cleared a gigantic paint splatter that looked like a neutron was shown.

"Wow, both pretty controlled explosion and pretty creative too. In the end though I have to give the win...to the Grips!" The grips were shown cheering.

"Why?" Harold asked.

"Big scary skull beats nerdy science thing any day." Chris said cheekily.

Chris walked to the Grips. "It is my honor to present to your prize: The big trunk of mind blowing secrets." He said as Chef wheeled a red trun with pink and yellow flowers, as well as a large golden handle, to them.

"You'll be defending it with your very lives when we return to more Total Drama Action!" Chris announced.

/

We return from commercial with a shot of Chef standing under two palm trees in a large pot. The focus shifted right to where Sammy, Amber, and Alejandro stand. "This is it Sammy. You have to tell him." Alejandro said.

The twin swallowed. "Okay. You're gonna watch right?"

"Of course. I know you can do this." Amber said.

Sammy took a deep breath and began to walk towards Chef. "I can do this." She muttered repeatedly under her breath.

"About time. I've been waiting for you to get back to me about my offer. Well?" Chef asked.

Sammy glanced back at Amber and Alejandro for strength. Amber gave her a thumbs up. She turned back to Chef. "Chef." Sammy began. "I've decided," She paused, steeling herself. "I don't want to be in an alliance with you."

Silence for a moment. Then Chef began to stomp towards her. "You're turning me down? After all I've done to get you to my side?" Sammy began to quiver as the cook came closer. "I have to say…" He stopped and Sammy looked faint. "I didn't think you had it in ya."

Sammy looked at Chef's smile. "What?"

"Remember what I said at the beginning? I was gonna teach you how to be a true leader. The hardest part about being a leader is standing up for what you believe in, no matter how scared you are. And you just did that." Chef said.

"So, you're not mad?" Sammy asked.

"Furious actually, but I'm also so dang proud of you. I told Alejandro if you said no I'd back down, and I will." The cook began to walk away. "But don't let pretty boy take advantage of you, you hear?"

Sammy's eyes were wide as she turned back to Amber and Alejandro. "I did it." She gasped. "I did it!" She ran to the two and Amber hugged her.

/

Chris stood next to the big trunk of mind blowing secrets, which now had a couple of poles through it. "Contestants, get ready to begin your next war challenge. It's a giant game of capture the flag, except in this case the flag is the big trunk of mind blowing secrets!" Chris said gesturing to the trunk in question.

"There's only one way to learn what's in the trunk and that's to win the challenge. As your reward we'll give you immunity from tonight's vote, and a peek inside but be ready, the secrets inside will blow your brains to bits." Chris told them.

"Being on this show already does that." Noah smirked.

"We'll also throw in a roll of duct tape so you can tape the gray matter back together." The host jokingly replied, pulling out said tape.

/

"Grips this your base camp." Chris said, gesturing to a small structure covered by a white sheet bearing the Grip's logo. "Our set decoration team, wanted to build you guys a towering castle full of defensive possibilities." The host continued as Duncan and Gwen joined the other two Grips holding the trunk up by the poles. "But they went to see a movie instead. So we're gonna give you this."

Chef pulled the sheet off with a flourish revealing a ramshackle shed barely held together. "I think it's a tool shed." Chris said. At that moment the shed broke apart leaving the Grips with nothing but debris, a couple of rakes, a shovel, and a garden hose. "Was a tool shed. Good luck." Chris said before leaving.

Noah turned to Duncan. "Okay mister Marine any ideas how we're gonna defend the 'big trunk of mind blowing secrets?'"

"You do whatever you want. I'm gonna set some booby traps." Duncan told them, walking off.

Noah turned to Amy. "We should probably find a way to protect the trunk."

"Or we could just let Duncan take care of it. He said we were on the side anyway." Amy smirked.

Noah looked like he was considering it when Gwen shoved a shovel into his hands, and another into Amy's. "Don't even think about it. We're gonna dig a pit and cover it with leaves so we have somewhere to lie in wait."

"Who died and made you boss Gothie?" Amy scoffed.

Gwen got right in Amy's face. "If we lose this challenge I will make sure you go home. Now shut up and dig." The blonde glared but began to dig. Gwen turned to see Duncan had set up a net to catch the enemy in. In less good news Noah was attempting to shovel his first bit of dirt but was going at an incredibly slow pace and clearly straining. The goth face palmed.

(confessional)

Gwen: I've had it up to here with Amy and her attitude. How did she make it to the final three last season! And what's up with Noah getting all friendly with her?

Static

Amy : Let's make this clear I' m not-

Static

Noah: her friend. I just need -

Static

Amy: him to get futher in the game-

Static

Noah: After all Duncan and Gwen are close-

Static

Amy: too close, I gotta keep an eye on that

Static

Gwen, Noah, and Amy are digging their hole in the POV of what is clearly a set of binoculars. The focus shifts to show Sammy looking through them. "I'm not sure where Duncan went but the others are digging a hole."

"They likely mean to hide in it." Alejandro said. Topher cleared his throat. "Is there something you need amigo?"

"Yes, Harold overheard some of your conversation earlier. We know about Sammy's alliance with Chef!" Topher confronted.

"What! I'm not in an alliance with Chef!" Sammy argued.

"Then why were you talking about Chef and an illegal alliance?" Harold asked.

"Okay." Sammy took a breath. "Chef did offer me an alliance, but I turned it down. It took a lot of time to work up the courage. That's what we were talking about."

"That would explain what Harold overheard." Ellody nodded.

"Are you kidding me? That's exactly the kind of thing she'd say if she was in an illegal alliance with Chef and we called her out!" Topher protested.

"He has a point." Harold agreed.

"No really. I don't have an alliance with Chef." Sammy repeated.

"Past behavior indicates that Sammy is unlikely to lie about something like this." Ellody defended.

"It's always the ones that seem nice." Topher retorted.

"Moreover she's looking us directly in the eyes which indicates truth." the genius continued.

"Unless she's a really good liar."

"Topher lay off her, she said she didn't take the alliance!" Amber glared.

"Of course you're defending her, you're in on it." Topher said smugly.

"We can discuss this later." Alejandro said. "Right now we need to focus on taking out the Grips. I say we attack before they can finish their defenses."

"I agree." Sammy said. "Charge!"

Alejandro, Amber, Sammy, Ellody, and Harold all ran off. Topher sputtered. "So we're just gonna leave this unresolved?!" Then he ran after the rest. "Wait for me!"

/

The focus is on Noah, Amy, and Gwen's eyes all peeking out of a hole covered in leaves. The Gaffers arrive and pause. "Where are they?" Sammy asked.

"They must have finished their hole." Alejandro said. "We should be able to find it."

"Everyone spread out." Sammy said.

"Look for any sign of discoloration in the ground or leaves where there shouldn't be" Ellody added.

Inside the pit Noah was handing rocks to Gwen and Amy. "I found these while I was digging. Remember Duncan's trap?"

Gwen smirked. "I see where you're going with this."

"I'm just glad I get an excuse to throw rocks at Samey." Amy said.

Outside the hole rocks began flying at Sammy and Amber. "Guys we need reinforcements!" The bookworm cried.

"They're attacking us with rocks!" Sammy called.

Ellody, Topher, Alejandro, and Harold quickly returned. They moved towards the hole. Harold was hit with a pebble prompting Ellody to jump in front of him. Alejandro and Topher nearly got hit in the face causing them to back off as well. The barrage of stones made all six Gaffers step back right into Duncan's trap which immediately went off trapping them in a net. With a cry the Punk swung in on microphone cord and cut the line holding the net up sending them all flying through the air.

When they landed they were back where they started. Everyone groaned. "Well that didn't work." Amber sighed.

"Why doesn't Sammy ask Chef for advice?" Topher said.

"Amigo, we have more important things to think about." Alejandro told him.

"You know Alejandro you're in on Sammy's little alliance too and it's almost like you're trying to distract us from it." The blonde pointed out.

"Nonsense. I merely think we should focus on the challenge. Besides, as Sammy said she didn't take the alliance." Alejandro said.

"Sure she didn't." Topher smirked.

"Amigo, I don't understand why you insist on pushing the point. You're normally far more reasonable than this. It's one of your more attractive qualities." Alejandro said as he took Topher's hand into his own.

"I appreciate the gesture, but you can't distract me." Topher said, taking his hand back. Alejandro frowned.

(confessional)

Alejandro: Topher has been such an ally to me all season. What exactly is driving him against me?

Static

Topher: Look I like Alejandro, and I still plan to help him become the villain I know he can be but this is too good a chance for drama to pass up.

Static

Ellody turned to Harold. "Harold, I don't think you should go to the next attack."

"Ellody," Harold tried to protest.

"If one of those rocks hits your scapula it could render any progress in its healing moot." Ellody said.

"But I can't just watch from the side. I have to be a part of the team. If I don't I'm nothing but dead weight! And I vow to be useful to my team no matter what! Or my name isn't Harold Norbert Cheever Doris Magrady V !" Harold declared.

Ellody sighed. "You seem pretty stubborn about this. What I don't understand is why? Logically you should know how dangerous this is."

"Some things are more important than logic." Harold said.

/

Back in the Grip's hole Duncan has joined them. "Nice job getting them in my trap." The punk smirked.

"It was Noah's idea. Though it took some pushing to get him to actually try." Gwen said.

"Typical." Duncan said.

"Hey you said we were on the side." Noah shrugged.

"Well Pasty nice work getting these two losers to pull their weight." Duncan complimented.

"If the two of you are done flirting, we need to move. The Gaffers will be back soon." Amy said.

"Uh no. We don't have time to make another hole. I say we defend this one." Gwen said.

"Yeah and they know right where it is!" The blonde said.

"So what, we should go out into plain sight where we have nothing to defend ourselves with?" The goth retorted.

"Better than staying here just waiting to get picked off!" Amy retorted.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Amy has a point. We used most of the rocks we had on their last attack. At the very least one of us should gather more." Noah said.

"Fine. I'll do it." The blonde said. "You guys just make sure they don't get the trunk in the meantime."

/

The Gaffers are moving in on the Grip's hole. "They're still there." Sammy said. "We just need to get the trunk from them."

"Easier said than done. Those rocks could cause serious damage to my face." Topher said.

"If only I had use of both my arms." Harold sighed, pulling out two yo-yo tied together. "I bet I could knock the rocks away from us. I'm usually a whiz with these numyos."

That was when Amy climbed out of the hole. She took one look at the Gaffers and jumped back in. The focus shifted back inside. "They're here! So what's the defense plan Gothie?"

"Duncan, did you set any other traps?" Noah asked.

"There's a pit trap I made just to the left of here." Duncan said.

"Then I think I know what to do." Noah smirked. He jumped out of the pit and moved in front of the area Duncan had mentioned. "You want to get to the trunk? You'll have to go through me."

"Easy!" Topher declared. Filled with adrenaline, he, Sammy, Harold, and Amber all dove for him landing on the pit trap and falling inside.

"Harold!" Ellody moved towards the pit but Alejandro stopped her.

"We don't have time. We must get the trunk ourselves!" Alejandro said.

But before either of them could make a move Chris popped in. "Time's up! The Grips have defended the chest! Putting them in the winner's circle. That means the Gaffer's will be sending one of their own home tonight." The host said, pointing to Alejandro and Ellody with a smirk.

"And now it's time to reveal to the winners, the mind blowing secrets in this trunk!" Chris declared as a spotlight fell on the chest. "Here's what you were fighting for team." He opened the trunk and both Gwen and Duncan looked inside.

"Wait all this time this is what was in here?!" Gwen snapped.

"All the effort we put forth," Duncan said.

"All the pain we caused the enemy team, and for what?!" the goth asked.

"An empty trunk." The punk said.

"So this is the madness of war." Gwen said.

"Why!" Duncan cried.

/

Chris stood at his podium. "This one's a nail biter. I'd say a lot of you are on the chopping block. Sammy, half your team suspects you of being in an illegal alliance."

"I turned him down." Sammy protested.

" Topher you've been pretty confrontational today." Chris continued.

"And you love it." Topher winked.

"You know it." Chris agreed, shooting him a finger gun. "And Harold you're injured, really just dragging your team down."

"I did my best." The ginger nerd said.

"All right then votes have been tabulated." Chris said as the results were parachuted to him. "So it's time to present the awards. Tonight the gilded Chris goes to Ellody, Amber, Alejandro, and Topher. And now only two nominees left."

Harold and Sammy were shown in spilt screen with spotlights on them. "The final award goes to...

...

...

...

…Sammy." The twin caught her gilded Chris happily.

(Confessional)

Topher: Alejandro wanted to vote out Harold, but I voted for Sammy instead. I gotta make Sammy sweat. What is Total Drama without drama? I gotta take every opportunity to cause it. You think being nice makes you famous on this show?

Static

"I guess I don't blame you guys." Harold sighed. Ellody followed him down the carpet of shame. "Sorry I'm leaving you alone, Ellody."

"No, I'm sorry. The truth is Harold...I voted for you." Ellody admitted. "I'm sorry, but I fear if you continue pushing yourself in these challenges you will be even more injured. I feel bad, but I did what I thought was right."

Harold smiled at her understandingly. "Hey, I'd probably do the same if you were injured." The two kissed and the Lame-o-sine left with Harold.

"And so the injured Harold's journey ends here. But your journey doesn't have to. Catch you next time on Total Drama Action!"

Bonus Clip:

Harold is sitting in the car. "You know I thought I'd make it farther this season. If only I hadn't gotten injured last challenge. At least I got a girlfriend out of it. And here my friends said I'd never get one. Shows what you guys know! I can't wait to go home and rub it in their faces." Harold blinks. "There's an aftermath? Cool! Maybe I can show off my mad skills.

Chapter Text

The episode begins with a series of purple rings moving up a black background, a series of small blue rings appear in their center and in the center of those rings the letters, T D and A fall through. Then they align on screen., big red and bold, as smaller letters of the same color spelled out aftermath underneath them. The D moved forward to transition to clips from the show.

Handcuffs are slapped on Ella's wrists. "Dead girl walking!" Chef barked as he began to lead her down the red carpet of shame. Amy stepped in front of him. "No wait. Take me! I should be leaving!"

"Sure, whatever." Chef shrugged, about to clap the handcuffs on Amy instead. Ella grabbed them back and put them on her wrist.

"No Amy, I was voted out fair and square. Try to make a friend while I'm gone." Ella smiled, hugging a crying Amy.

The D flashed again.

Trent is shown walking down the red carpet of shame when Sammy runs to him and hugs him. "You can't be leaving!"

"Hey, it's okay-" Trent began.

"No it isn't." Sammy whispered. "I wanted to tell you earlier but Chef was listening. Chef's been trying to make an alliance with me. The only way he'll back off is if I directly tell him I don't want one, and now when I need you most, you're leaving." The blonde said, tears in her eyes.

Trent cupped her face. "Is that what you were talking with Alejandro about?" She nodded. "Hey, I know you have it in you somewhere. You'll find the courage to do it."

"But without you I-" Sammy began.

"You can." Trent cut her off. He leaned forward and kissed her.

Another flash of the D.

Harold had just managed to get his head and upper body on the wall. The manifesto hit him right in the shoulder and the scene slowed as Harold fell back against the log below.

"My scapula!" Harold gasped as he passed out.

Ellody's eyes widened as she turned around. "HAROLD!" She rushed to his side. "Harold, have you sustained grievous bodily harm?!"

One last flash of the D

I guess I don't blame you guys." Harold sighed. Ellody followed him down the carpet of shame. "Sorry I'm leaving you alone, Ellody."

"No, I'm sorry. The truth is Harold...I voted for you." Ellody admitted. "I'm sorry, but I fear if you continue pushing yourself in these challenges you will be even more injured. I feel bad, but I did what I thought was right."

Harold smiled at her understandingly. "Hey, I'd probably do the same if you were injured."

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The opening graphic repeated itself. When it faded it was two show a set with a clear low table in the center and behind that table is a maroon couch with sofa pillows, above that couch is a set of hanging lamps in varied styles and colors. To both the left and the right of the main couch are two couches in various shades of blue and purple. Geoff and Kitty are sitting on the main couch. A live studio audience cheered as the show began.

"Yo Everyone! I'm Geoff." The party dude began.

"And I'm Kitty!" The selfie lover added. "And it's great to have you all back for another juicy aftermath episode! Where we'll be dishing the dirt on Total Drama Action!" The audience cheered.

"Wow you guys are super hype for this next episode huh?" Kitty said.

"No doubt!" Geoff agreed.

"Well get ready to get even more hype because we got guests!" The selfie lover cheered.

"Full of familiar faces." The party dude began as the large screen overhead showed a picture of Ella. "Cause we've got Ella." The crowd cheered as the screen shifted to a picture of the next guest. "Trent," The crowd cheered again as the screen shifted to the final guest. "And Harold!"

"We've also got everyone from the first season joining us in the peanut gallery! Hey to," The focus shifted to the peanut gallery showing various previous contestants faces as Kitty listed them. "Dawn and Bunny! Camron, Max, Lightning, Anne Maria, Jo, Xena, and Tyler!"

"And from our last show we have Scott and Crimson as well!" Geoff added, the crowd cheering as the two in question were shown.

"So there have been three shocking eliminations since we last saw you! I can't believe Ella left so early!" Kitty said.

"I can." Jo said from her spot in the peanut gallery. "Without me keeping her focused Princess was way too nice to get ahead in the game."

"Not to mention Trent." Geoff said. "Dude made the final three last time. Can you believe Noah kept Amy over her?"

"Considering Amy far more prone to emotional manipulation, yes." Xena deadpanned.

"There's been some pretty crazy things on the show!" Kitty said, crossing her eyes and twirling her fingers around. "The prison movie, hospital drama, haunted sets?"

"Not to mention the diaster movie and war flick!" Geoff added. The audience began to cheer at this.

"Wow you're all super into pain and destruction! Guess I shouldn't be surprised considering the show you're fans of." Kitty giggled.

"Almost makes you glad we were voted out." Geoff said.

"Please, I could handle any of those lame challenges without breaking a sweat." Jo scoffed.

"Speaking of things breaking, Harold got wrecked big time." Kitty said.

"True that, but we've got loads more wicked bad moments of pain coming up! Rad hits like you've never seen! Time for: That's gonna leave a mark!"

A montage of clips featuring the cast getting injured in hilarious ways move across the screen. Jo getting hit by a coconut, Tyler wiping out on his waterskis, Geoff falling out of a tree and hitting every branch on the way down, and Duncan with the turtle puckshots are a few.

The first clip is from the previous episode. Amy is digging the hole for the Grips to hide in and not really paying attention. A cartoonish thunk is heard as the focus moves out to show Amy has hit Noah in the head. He groans and falls over immediately. Amy looks briefly concerned before shrugging and continuing her work.

In the disaster episode Harold is loaded into the ambience but as it takes off the gurney rolls out and into the sewer.

Also from the disaster episode Noah makes it to the tunnel of the obstacle course. He looks relived, then the set shakes and the focus follows him as he tumbles head over heels to the bottom of the course.

In the prison episode Sammy tosses a spoon towards Amber, it hits the bookworm on the head and she collapses as a lump grows.

Back on the couch Geoff is listening into his earpiece. "Uh huh. Yeah. I got it." He swallows and turns to Kitty. "The producers say we need to kick it up a notch. Not enough drama for the audience."

"They want us to manufacture drama? I guess we can do that." Kitty frowned.

Geoff notices the camera and quickly swaps his worried face for his normal chill one. "So that was one montage of pain huh? Did you see Harold go down like a sack of honey glazed ham? Check it!"

On the screen the scene of Harold being hit in the shoulder is shown. A red circle is drawn around his shoulder. "That shoulder looks bad!" Kitty said.

Harold falling on to the board below is shown. Harold's leg is circled. "That doesn't look like an angle any body part should be at." Geoff commented. The screen shifted to Sammy fainting in the Horror episode, her face is circled. "But here's my favorite, check out Sammey fainting! Now that's what panic looks like people."

The screen shifts to static as Kitty continues. "How about we check on our guests? See how they're holding up."

The screen shows Ella, Trent, and Harold in the green room. Trent is playing on his guitar and singing while Ella sang backup.

"I'm sorry I can't be there for you!" The guitarist sang (Be there for you!) Ella echoed.

"You understand that's something I'd never want to do." (Never want to do.)

"But you'll be okay," (You'll be okay)

"And when I see you I'll say." (I'll say.)

They sang the last line together. "I knew you could do it all along!"

"I think that's a sweet song for Sammy. I hope she gets to see it." Ella said.

"You were a really good back up." Trent complimented.

"It was okay I guess. Not really my kind of song." Harold shrugged. "I'm more of a rapper myself." Trent laughed. "I'm serious! You've heard me beatbox man!"

"Rap is a lot different from beatboxing." Trent said. "You need rhythm and flow."

"I have rhythm and flow! You're not the only one who can sing!" The nerd said.

"Chill, I never said I was." Trent said, holding up his hands defensively.

Harold sighed. "Yeah, I guess I'm just over defensive right now cause I'm injured.I'm worried they're gonna play it up like I'm helpless you know?"

"You really think Geoff and Kitty would do that?" Ella asked.

"Who knows? Show biz changes people." Harold said.

"You know they're watching right now right?" Trent said.

"Really?" Ella got right up to the camera. "Greetings to my aura reading princess! And her animal companion of course."

The screen stopped there.

"But before we introduce our first guest let's take a look a Ella's journey on the show." Kitty said as the focus shifted up to the screen again.

The screen showed Ella being taken by the monster in episode one, then failing to act in episode three, dancing with Trent in episode four, floating towards power lines in episode five and Amy yelling at Chris."Ella's season had quite the rocky start when she was caught by the monster first. Then the scripts got mixed up leading Ella to fumble her acting role. Still Ella made the best of things, being friends with Trent despite being Amy's friend as well." Ella is shown refusing to put anything into the prison food, arguing with Duncan and Noah, and leading them down the wrong tunnel. " But eventually Ella's refusal to do what the game asked of her caught up to her when Duncan and Noah both got on her back about it. Between that and leading them into a long tunnel they had every reason to vote her out."

Ella's confessional is shown. "Surprisingly this turned out to be a sacrifice on Ella's part so Amy could stay in the game."

The focus shifted back down to Geoff and Kitty on the couch. "Our first guest has a heart of gold, a way with animals, and managed to make a loyal friend out of Amy, welcome Ella!" Geoff announced gesturing off screen at her. The Princess wannabe happily skipped on stage, before taking her seat on the couch.

Ella turned to the audience and began to wave at them. "Hello everyone it's nice to see you!"

"Nice to see you as well." Kitty said. "So how are you doing?"

"Wonderfully. Everyone has been so nice, and I get to see my princess again!" Ella beamed.

Geoff cleared his throat and tugged on his collar nervously. "But uh, aren't you upset about missing out on the million dollars?"

"Why would I be? I have my friends, my princess and my health." Ella smiled. The audience cheered.

Geoff was listening to his earpiece. "Well if you're really happy you won't mind if we test your truthfulness."

"Of course not." Ella said.

"Then get ready for our next segment!" An anvil swung across the screen to hang above Ella's head. "It's time for truth or anvil!" Geoff said.

A gold statue of a woman with her hair in a bun is shown. She is wearing a blindfold and a toga dress, in her left hand she holds an old fashioned scale, in her right a sword, an anvil crushes her.

"Wasn't it truth or hammer before?" Kitty asked, her eyes wide. "Why's it an anvil now?!"

"The producers thought an anvil would add more Drama. More Total Drama!" The audience cheered.

"So that anvil will fall on me if I lie?" Ella said.

"That's right." Geoff said.

"Geoff we can't really do this. Right?" Kitty said.

"We don't have much choice." Geoff whispered back.

"Worry not Kitty. I will simply tell the truth." Ella said.

"Okay so first question. After seeing how Amy's been doing in the past few episodes, do you regret sacrificing your place in the game?" Geoff asked.

"Not at all. In fact I think she's made progress." the princess wannabe said. The anvil remained in place.

"Really?" Kitty asked. "How? She seems just as mean."

"But she's kind of made friends with Noah." Ella said.

"Hold up. Just because the two of them were on the same wavelength last episode doesn't mean they're friends." Geoff argued.

"Amy would never have considered aligning with Noah before. That's a kind of friendship." Ella said.

Geoff was listening to his earpiece again. "A terrible friendship. And I've got the footage to prove it."

The screen changed to show Amy and Noah talking. "I can't wait to take out Gothie."

"We have to convince Duncan first." Noah said.

"That's your job isn't it?" The twin said.

"Yes, but I have to be subtle about it. If Duncan finds out we're working together he'll cling to Gwen as an ally." The cynic replied.

Amy huffed. "Fine, but you'd better prove your worth to me."

"I got Trent out. I owe you nothing." Noah said.

The static cleared and the focus moved down to Kitty and Geoff. "Seriously, is this worth it?" Kitty asked. "Someone could get seriously hurt."

"I know but-" At that moment Geoff noticed the camera on him. "We'll discuss this later." He turned back to Ella. "Still think this is an improvement?"

"Well, she's still working with someone. So yes." Ella admitted. The anvil remained where it was.

"So, uh we have a webcam question for Ella!" Kitty cheered. "Let's go to Sugar."

An overweight blonde with her hair piled high, wearing a light pink tube top and tight blue jeans appeared on screen. "Hey Ella." She said with a Country accent. "I wanna know how you manage to make people fall for that fake nice act!" She snapped. "I can see right through you!" Sugar got right up to the screen! I know girls like you, and they're nothin' but trouble!" The screen cut to static.

"Whoa, there's an Ella hater?" Kitty gasped.

Geoff was listening to his earpiece again. "So what do you have to say to these accusations Ella! Are you secretly a horrible person?" He pressed.

"Well no of course not." Ella frowned.

Geoff is listening to his earpiece again ."Really, because Sugar seemed pretty sure."

"Geoff what are you doing?" Kitty whispered. "She answered the question."

Dawn ran over to Geoff. "Geoff, your aura is turning black. I think you need a break."

"What does black mean?" Ella asked.

"He's really stressed out." Dawn replied, sitting next to her.

"I missed you so much." The princess wannabe said, hugging her girlfriend.

"I missed you as well." Dawn smiled, and the two kissed.

"That seems like a good time to wrap up Ella's interview. We'll be back soon." Kitty smiled.

The aftermath logo is shown and the D flashed.

/

The aftermath logo is shown and the D transitioned back to Geoff and Kitty on the aftermath set. Geoff and Kitty are talking. "Geoff why are we caving in to the producers."

"If we don't they'll fire us. They made it really clear we're replaceable." Geoff replied.

"So we're gonna torment are friends just to keep our jobs?" The selfie lover frowned.

"Look, they're talking about replacing us with Scott and Anne Maria. We know those two will do whatever heinous thing they ask. At least we care what happens to our guests." The party dude said.

Ella cleared her throat. "Guys the camera is on."

Both hosts quickly but their smiles back on. "Welcome back to the Total Drama Action: Aftermath!" Geoff introduced.

"We just finished out interview with Scott, so now it's on to our next guest Trent." Kitty added.

The screen changed to show Trent helping Sammy up off the ground in episode one, giving her the alien egg in episode two, and then the two's reaction to Chris revealing they would be on separate teams. "Trent started off the season on a high note, helping Sammy out and being the supportive guy he is." Kitty started.

"But a huge drama bomb was put on him when Chris revealed they'd be leading different teams." Geoff said.

Trent is shown reassuring Sammy, Amy and Duncan glaring at him, then having to let Alejandro do it for him. his confrontation with Noah, and then him winning the dance off.

"Trent tried to keep supporting her, much to the annoyance of his team. Which led to Trent having to watch Alejandro become Sammy's new support. Eventually Noah gave him the ultimatum. Stop helping Sammy or he would get voted out, and so he started to support his team." Kitty said.

Trent is shown talking to Sammy about Alejandro, then being worried about Sammy. After that Noah is shown making his deal with Amy before Trent gets voted out. "Trent had no choice but to watch as Sammy got herself entangled in a deadly web between Chef and Alejandro. Then to top it all off, Noah made a deal with Amy to get him voted out."

The focus returned to Kitty and Geoff as the party Dude continued. Our next guest is a loving boyfriend, a loyal friend, and once asked to be force fed grasshopper pizza. It's Trent!"

The Guitarist stepped on stage to uproarious cheering. He smiled nervously at the audience as he sat down. "Hey Geoff, Kitty, nice to see you."

"Not as nice as it is to see you man. Tough break on the show." Geoff said.

"I know, I still can't believe Amy beat me." The guitarist sighed.

Geoff was listening to his earpiece. "So, Trent." He began. "How guilty do you feel about leaving Sammy behind to deal with both Alejandro and Chef?" He asked. "Careful how you answer, man." Geoff idly gestured above the guitarist's head.

Trent looked up and his eyes widened. "Is that gonna go off on me?"

"Only if you lie." Kitty swallowed.

"Wow, okay. Well I feel really bad about leaving Sammy there. I wish I could have helped her more, but I had to lead my team." Trent said.

Geoff was listening to his earpiece. "Would you say you betrayed Sammy by competing against her?"

"A little, but it wasn't personal." Trent replied.

Geoff was starting to look anxious as he listened to his earpiece. "So, Trent, were you ever concerned that Sammy might fall for Alejandro?"

Everyone gasped and Kitty looked regretful. "Geoff, what kind of question is that?"

"I'm sure we're all curious." Geoff said. "Right?" The audience cheered.

"N-no, of course not." The anvil shook and Trent dived out of the way as it fell, tearing the couch in half. "Okay maybe I was!"

The audience gasped. "So you didn't trust your own girlfriend?" Geoff pressed, looking stressed.

"I never said that! It's Alejandro I was worried about!" Trent snapped.

"But if you really trusted her you wouldn't have worried at all." The party dude said. His voice sounded a little stilted.

"Dude! Stop twisting my words!" the guitarist said.

"Geoff, why don't we show a clip?" Kitty suggested.

"Uh Yeah, here's a never before seen clip of Sammy and Alejandro interacting!" Geoff said, looking nervous.

The screen cut to Alejandro and Sammy on a bridge alone. The twin is talking. "And that's it really. My parents don't really notice how Amy treats me. Well, Dad doesn't, mom just doesn't care. You know I overheard her saying she's encouraging the two of us to fight as motivation to be better. Like rivalry breeds excellence or something." Sammy sighed.

"That sounds terrible, And relatable." Alejandro replied. The last two words were whispered under his breath.

"What was that last part?" Sammy asked.

Alejandro looked nervous. "Nothing."

Sammy gave him a hug. "You know I don't know why, but I feel like I can really talk about Amy with you. It's like you understand on a deeper level than anyone else."

Alejandro tugged on his collar. "Yes, it is a mystery."

"Alejandro? What's your home life like?" The twin asked. Alejandro remained silent. Sammy looked nervous. "Is that too personal a question?"

Alejandro sighed. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Okay, sorry." The twin whispered.

"Don't be, it's nice to have someone ask." Alejandro admitted.

The screen turned to static and the crew is shown to be replacing the couchTrent returned to his seat. Both Kitty and Geoff looked shocked. "Dude! I didn't think they were that close!"

"Sammy really seems to trust him." Trent frowned. "I mean, I'm friends with Alejandro but even I acknowledge he's not the most trustworthy."

"It's kinda concerning." Kitty said.

Geoff cleared his throat nervously. "So Trent, how does it feel to know Sammy shares more about her home life with Alejandro than you?"

Tense silence filled the room Trent sighed. "I feel a little hurt, but there must be some reason she's connecting to Alejandro like this. I'm sure of it."

"You know, I think you might be right." Kitty said, rewinding the footage to Alejandro pulling on his collar. "Look at his face." She circled it. "It's like he knows why Sammy feels she can tell him this stuff, and is trying to avoid showing it. Especially here." She fast forwarded it to Sammy asking about Alejandro's home life. " Maybe he's got similar problems."

Geoff's eyes widened. "No way. You're telling me Alejandro, you know the guy who's so perfect and put together, might have a troubled home life?"

"It wouldn't be too surprising, he's always had a lot of stress in his aura." Dawn said.

"So what? Are we supposed to feel bad for him?" Scott scoffed.

"Not necessarily. I'm just saying there's something to all this." Kitty noted.

"Well, we'd better wrap this interview up." Geoff said. "We've got another viewer on webcam, Kelsey from Kamloops has a few words for Trent.a'

The screen turned to static revealing a pale girl with short brown hair, freckles, braces, and glasses. She's wearing a black collar and a blue shirt with a unicorn on it. "Hey everybody! This is my boyfriend Trent!" She pulled out a large rag doll that looked exactly like Trent and hugged it. Everyone in the audience looked horrified and weirded out.

"Is that a doll of Trent?" Kitty gasped.

"So uh, what do you have to say to Kelsey from Kamloops Trent. It uh, looks like she really likes you?" Geoff said anxiously.

Trent looked horrified as Kelsey kissed the doll. "I know you're supposed to be with Sammy, but a lot of reality TV is scripted, and I just know your relationship is one of those things! Right?" Kelsey giggled.

Trent wisely did not answer.

"Okay, thanks for sharing Kelsey!" Kitty said nervously.

"Wait!" Kelsey protested. "We wrote something for the real Trent." She said, pulling out a note. "Your hair is black, my heart is blue, I'll stuff you with rags and sew you up too!"

The screen cut to static. Geoff coughed. "Oh seems we've lost Kelsey and right when her poem was getting good too."

"Well, that's all the time we have for Trent. Which means it's time for our final guest." Kitty said. "Let's look at his Journey through the season."

Harold is shown hiding in a beach umbrella from the monster, then he's shown being picked first for teams. After that Harold is shown telling Ellody about his supposed ten pack, showing Topher the Taj Maharold, and dodging all of Noah's water pistol shots. "Harold started off the season pretty well, being chosen first for teams, and showing off many mad skills that prove it was a good choice on Sammy's part.

Harold is shown studying with Ellody for the medical drama challenge, kissing Ellody during the horror challenge, then getting injured and placed in the ambulance. Then he's shown being voted off, with a kiss goodbye from Ellody. "He even caught the attention of Ellody and began to form a relationship with her. But disaster struck when Harold injured his shoulder, and in her concern Ellody voted him out."

Geoff continued as the focus shifted to him and Bridgette. "He's a man of many mad skills, he nearly had his butt eaten by a shark, and he thinks he's a hit with the ladies. Harold!"

The nerd walked on stage, his arm still in a sling and sat down. "So Harold, how's the arm?" Kitty asked.

"It's healing up well. I should be fine in just a few weeks." Harold said.

"So Harold, we'd like to ask you a few questions in our new game, " Geoff's eyes widened in horror. "Truth or Piranha?!"

A dunking tank is shown with a wooden sign of a piranha over it. Several piranha jump out of the tank. The focus shifted back to Geoff. "Okay, this is going way too far!" The party dude argued with his ear piece. "There's no way I'm putting anyone through that!"

"Harold could get eaten alive!" Kitty added.

"I bet you didn't even clear this with legal." Geoff said. A pause as he listened to the earpiece. "I knew it. Well if legal hasn't cleared it I'm under no contractual obligation to do it." Geoff hung up.

"Good job Geoff. Our jobs aren't worth it." Kitty said.

"Hey, they haven't fired us, we're on thin ice though." Geoff said.

"We'll worry about that next show." the selfie lover said.

"We'd still like to ask you some questions Harold." The party dude said.

"Let me have them." Harold said.

"Firstly, do you feel betrayed that Ellody voted you out?" Geoff asked.

"And be careful what you say, because the anvil is back up." Kitty added.

Harold looked above his head. "How'd you rig it to fall when I lie?"

"I don't know man's we're just the hosts. You'd have to ask the set crew about that." Geoff replied.

"Anyway. I do feel a little betrayed, but I understand she was just concerned about me. Admittedly my many mad skills are limited with only one arm." Harold sighed.

"What are your thoughts on the game?" Kitty asked.

"Well its pretty obvious Alejandro's in an alliance with Topher and Amber, but Topher seems to be acting out. That could bite him in the butt later. Also Sammy's gotten pretty close to Alejandro. So he'll almost certainly merge. As for the other team, it could go either way. I doubt Duncan would be willing to vote out Gwen, and I'm sure Noah would be willing to sell Amy out if it saved his own skin. Then again if Duncan finds out about Noah's alliance with Amy it could make him a target. Who knows though. Chris could mess with the teams." Harold explained.

"Wow. You've really thought this out." Kitty said.

"Not really, most of these are just basic observations." Harold said.

In the peanut gallery Jo is shown to be writing something in a notebook. The focus moves back to Harold, Geoff, and Kitty.

"We'd also like to know the status of your relationship with Ellody. She did kiss you before you left, and you both seem to like each other." Geoff asked,

"Well it's not official, but I think we're together now. I mean who could resist this specimen of manhood?" Harold bragged, flexing his practically nonexistent muscles.

"Anyway, do you have any mad skills to show us?" Kitty asked.

"Well, I'm limited in what I can do, but I'd like to show off my num yo skills." Harold said. He stood up and pulled his numbyo's out of his pocket. He swirled them around in the air and made them do several tricks. The audience began to cheer. In his enthusiasm Harold almost hit several members of the peanut gallery. Scott, Anne Maria, Dawn, and Camron. When he stopped the audience began to clap, there were even some wolf whistles.

"Well Harold I think you've shown your skill." Kitty said.

"Seriously dude that was awesome!" Geoff agreed.

"Yeah totally, it's not like you nearly killed us or anything." Scott scoffed.

The anvil fell and Trent had to dive to get both him and Harold out of the way as yet another couch was torn apart. Scott looked shocked. "That thing considers Sarcasm a lie?!"

"And that's all for today!" Kitty chuckled. "Join Chris and the cast next time for the most dramatically thrilling episode of Total Drama Action ever!" As the show moved to wrap up Kitty sighed and leaned against Geoff. "Who knew producers were such a pain?"

Chapter Text

The recap begins by showing the Gaffers setting up their explosives, followed by Duncan setting his off. "Last time on Total Drama Action!" Everyone is shown holding their heads as the explosions go off, followed by Amy pushing Sammy and Amber out of the plane. Then Sammy is shown confronting Chef and Topher is shown trying to stir up the drama. "We learned war movies are brutal! At first our contestants were flying high, but despite Sammy finally telling Chef to take a hike, Topher took the opportunity to convince some of his team Sammy had actually been in a secret alliance this entire time."

All Gaffers but Ellody and Alejandro are shown falling into a pit, followed by Noah and Amy somewhat bonding, and Gwen and Amy arguing. "And while the Grips won that battle, you have to wonder if they lost the war as Gwen and Amy's arguing reached an all time high." Harold is shown being eliminated, followed by Ellody confessing she'd voted for him and their kiss. "In the end Harold was eliminated due to his injuries, but not before getting a parting gift from Ellody."

The recap ends with Chris sitting in a red convertible looking smug. "You keep coming back for the explosive drama, I keep coming back for the perks." He patted the side of the convertible. "Car chase this week! And with only nine contestants left, the engines are on and the stereo is set to thump to the catchy opening theme song. It's time for more, Total. Drama. Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The focus is placed on the Grips at their table. Duncan has his knife out is and currently carving it into the table. Amy scoffs. "What?" Duncan glared.

"Nothing, just thinking about how you can't go ten seconds without breaking something." Amy smirked.

"Hey, lay off him!" Gwen glared.

"Defending your boyfriend? Typical." The blonde retorted.

"He's not my boyfriend." Gwen protested. "We're just friends."

"Yeah right, you've been hot under the collar for him since you got here." Amy said smugly.

"She has a point, my golden lab drools less over rib eye steak." Noah added.

"Seriously Noah! I don't get it! You seem like a decent person and we've totally vibed before! I don't see how someone like that could remotely stand Amy!" Gwen complained.

"Hey, Complamy might be a sociopathic narcissist with an inferiority Complex," Noah began.

"Hey!" Amy snapped.

"But she can still be right about some things, it's a rare occurrence sure, but it still happens." He finished.

"What kind of back handed compliment is that?!" Amy asked.

"It's the only kind of compliment I ever give." Noah shrugged.

"Ugh! I can't stand it anymore! I'm going back to the trailer!" Gwen snapped stomping towards the exit. The focus followed her as she exited the tent. She huffed. "Seriously, what is up with them?" She asked, just as a black bag was thrown over her head and she was dragged off screen.

/

The Gaffers are in disarray as well. Ellody is silently picking at her breakfast while the others…

"Can you pass me the salt Sammy? You know if I can trust you to do that." Topher smirked.

"I said no!" Sammy replied.

"Which is exactly what you would say if you had said yes!" The blonde pointed out.

"Hey lay off, she's more trustworthy than you are anyway!" Amber snapped.

"Of course you're defending her, you're her best friend." Topher pointed out.

"Everyone please calm down. We'll never win if we don't work together." Alejandro said.

You're right Alejandro." Amber and Topher both said in unison. They glared at each other. "Stop that!"

Alejandro's stomach rumbled. "I believe breakfast is upsetting my delicate stomach. I'm going to ask Chef what he put in it."

The focus followed him into the kitchen. "Chef?" He noticed the cook was nowhere to be seen. He walked over to the stove where he saw the 'cheese' from the hospital challenge. "There were small white flecks in my eggs." He noted. He looked around the kitchen again. "Where is that incompetent-" At that moment the back door to the tent kitchen opened and a bag was thrown over Alejandro's head as arms dragged him out of the room.

/

A knife pierced the ceiling of the tent cutting a square hole which Chris lowered himself through on a rope. "Great entrance Chris, of course that's only befitting one of your status." Topher complimented.

"Consider it a hint as to this week's movie genre!" Chris said.

"Is it lame-o, rock climbing, wannabe host movies?" Duncan deadpanned.

"No. This week, we're paying tribute to the action packed, bank heist, gangster caper film!" Chris announced.

"But Chris, Alejandro isn't here!" Amber and Topher both said. They huffed and turned from each other.

"Gwen's gone too. Not that I care." Amy scoffed.

"Gwen and Alejandro are gone people. Because rescuing them is the first part of your challenge." Chris declared.

The focus shifted first Sammy gasping, then Ellody, then Topher and Amber, then Duncan, ending on Noah and Amy, the first of which was deadpan as usual, the latter of which pretended to yawn. .

"They've both been locked in state of the art safes, along with all the tools each team will need to commit a movie perfect bank robbery." Chris explained, rubbing his hands together. Your job is to crack the safes, rescue your teammates, grab the equipment, and try to be the first ones to rob the first national bank of Chris. Let's kick it gangstas." With that Chris was pulled up through the ceiling.

/

The two safes are shown with a focus placed on the right one. "Guys? This isn't funny." we hear Gwen's voice say as the focus shifted inside to show the goth still had the black bag over her head. She pulled it off and instantly her eyes widened in fear. "I'm trapped in an enclosed space?! Again?!" Gwen rushed to the door and began to bang on it with both fists. "Chris! Let me out! Let me out!"

/

In the other vault Alejandro is having a much nicer time. He's lounging on a small gray bench. "As much as I'm upset they had the audacity to manhandle my perfect body in such a way, I admit this is a nice reprieve from my bickering teammates. Honestly ever since Harold eavesdropped on Sammy Topher has been very confrontational with her. As useful of an ally as he is it is getting tiresome."

/

Outside the Gaffer vault Amber is attempting to crack the safe. "This is taking forever!" Topher said.

"You think I don't know that! Alejandro's trapped in there, I want him out as quickly as possible too!" Amber snapped.

"Then let me have a go! I know all about Chris, so if anyone can open this safe it's me!" Topher said.

"Really? You think your knowledge of Chris is going to help you here?" Amber huffed.

(confessional)

Sammy: I wanted to speak up but I'm not sure they'd listen anyway.

Static

With the Grips loud pounding can be heard from inside the safe. Duncan raps on it. "Pasty you in there?"

"Duncan? Oh thank god! You have to get me out of here!" Gwen said from inside the safe.

"Don't worry pasty I will. Its gonna take some time and I need to hear the tumblers. So you need to stop pounding." Duncan said.

"Okay. It won't be easy but I'll try." Gwen said.

Duncan pressed his hand against the safe. "I know you can do it."

Amy and Noah are shown. "Gag." The blonde said.

"I know right?" The cynic smirked.

/

Ellody is trying to crack the safe while both Amber and Topher pace anxiously. Ellody sighed. "I know you're both worried but I can't concentrate with the sound of your footsteps."

"Oh excuse me, if it was Harold you'd be just as worried." Topher retorted.

"Yes, I suppose being romantically disposed towards a person does inhibit reasoning." Ellody remarked.

"What does that have to do with me?" Topher asked, seeming genuinely confused.

/

Duncan is working to crack the safe with a cup to the door. "Come on, come on," He muttered to himself.

"You'd think the delinquent would be better and cracking safes." Noah remarked.

"Yeah, what kind of punk are you?" Amy taunted.

"One who needs silence to pick this lock! It's hard enough to concentrate when I know my best friend is in there alone and scared!" Duncan snapped.

"Right best friend." Noah said with air quotes around best friend.

/

Ellody sighed. "This lock is far more complicated than the one on the submarine."

"I guess we need to think like Chris." Amber sighed. "What does he like?"

"Himself." Sammy nodded.

"What about his birthday?" Topher tried that, the safe remained closed. "Hmm, his measurements?" He tried that as well, no dice. "The barcode number on his favorite hair gel?" Topher tried that as well. It didn't work.

"I don't know whether to be impressed or disturbed you know that last one." Amber remarked.

/

Duncan is still working on cracking the safe. "You made any progress?" Noah asked.

"I've got the first three numbers but who knows how many of them there are." Duncan said.

"It's Chris, I can't imagine it's longer than five. " the cynic said.

"I'm gonna try plugging in zero through nine in the fourth spot. If it doesn't crack we know its longer." The punk decided.

/

"Chris wouldn't give us this lock without giving us a clue to open it. He wants us to get in at some point. Otherwise the episode would be boring." Topher said.

"Okay, but I haven't seen any kind of clue out here." Amber frowned.

"What if the clue isn't out here?" Sammy suggested. "You know those movies where they get the safe open, only to find all that's inside is the code for the safe?"

"Of course! This show thrives on drama. Making it so the person inside the safe has to work together with the rest of the team outside is brilliant!" Topher said.

Ellody knocked on the door to the vault. "Alejandro, are you in a state to communicate?"

"Indeed. I've received no damage from my capture. In fact I was wondering why you hadn't contacted me sooner." Alejandro replied from inside the safe.

"Topher and Amber were panicking, I was attempting to crack the safe, and I think it just didn't occur to Sammy until now." Ellody explained.

"Fair enough. There's a lot of safes in here so I've been looking through them." Alejandro said.

"Have you found anything?" Sammy asked.

"I did find something." Alejandro pushed a piece of paper out through a nearby vent. Amber and Topher both went for it but ended up tripping over each other's feet. Sammy picked up the paper instead.

"This doesn't make any sense. It's just letters!" Sammy said.

"Allow me to look at it." Ellody offered. Sammy handed the paper over. "There's a few things it could be, but knowing Chris the simplest answer is the correct one." She walked to the safe and put in a series of numbers. The vault opened to reveal Alejandro behind the door. "As I suspected, a simple A1 cipher."

"Alejandro, I was so worried about you!" Topher and Amber said. They both groaned and continued. "Seriously this is getting ridiculous!"

Alejandro wrapped an arm around each of them. "It's nice to know you were concerned, chica, amigo." Both Amber and Topher blushed.

(confessional)

Topher: Seriously though, what was Ellody saying about my feelings for Alejandro? Sure I think he's amazing, and handsome. Sure I love it when he compliments me, but that's just because I admire him. Right?

Static

The Gaffers passed the Grips with their bag of tools. "I do need to use the facilities before we continue with the challenge. Those eggs really didn't sit well." Alejandro remarked.

Just as they were off screen Duncan finally got the safe open. "Huh, I guess the fourth number was nine." The punk said.

"Duncan!" Gwen jumped out of the safe and wrapped her arms around him in a big hug. She was crying, mascara turning her tears black. "I was so sacred in there. I thought I was going to run out of air and suffocate. I couldn't breathe." Gwen sighed happily. "I'm just so glad you got me out of there!"

Taken aback Duncan slowly wrapped his arms around the goth and a small smile took his face. "It's okay, Pasty. You're safe now."

Noah cleared his throat. The two continued hugging. He cleared it again. No response. He continued to clear his throat. Amy groaned. "Do you have a cough or something?"

Noah rolled his eyes. "Hey, Romeo and Juliet, we have a challenge going on!"

Duncan and Gwen pulled apart. "Right, right, the challenge." Gwen chuckled nervously. "Totally focused on the challenge."

(confessional)

Noah: This isn't good. With Duncan going all goo goo eyed over Gwen there's no way he'll agree to vote her out, and If I get rid of Amy the two of them will definitely vote me out next. Which means I have to actually try until the merge comes. (he sighs)

Static

Alejandro's boots are shown, followed by Amber's flats, Topher's sneakers, Sammy's heels, and Ellody's heels. Then Alejandro's hand is shown withdrawing a squirt gun. Then all of the Gaffers are shown with ski masks on as they approach the bank. Ellody has a bag for the cash.

Alejandro knocks on the 'front desk' of the bank. "Excuse me, but we have come to abscond with your valuables!"

"That's the politest way of saying we're here to rob you I've ever heard." Sammy chuckled.

The focus shifted out to show the 'bank' in full. Two burgundy velvet ropes are to either side of the front desk which has a fancy frame and a register at it. A large poster with a gold dollar sign in on the wall behind it, and an armless green couch is just to the left of the desk.

Chris pops up from behind the front desk. "Welcome Gaffers! You've beaten the Grips to the scene so you'll get first crack at the teller!"

"As was expected after we cracked our safe first." Ellody smirked.

/

Duncan is running towards the bank with his mask on. Gwen is right next to him with Amy not far behind. All three skid to a stop and turned. The focus shifted to Noah who was huffing and falling behind. "Hey nerd! For someone who wants us to hurry you sure are going slow!" Duncan barked.

"I'm going as fast as I can." Noah gasped falling to the ground.

"I say we leave him here." Amy said.

"I'd agree but we might need his brain later. Also that would mean agreeing with you." Gwen said.

Duncan rolled his eyes. "Nothing for it then." He ran over and slung Noah over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "Now let's go!" All of the Grips start running again. Naturally this makes Noah's head slam against Duncan's back multiple times.

"I don't mind being carried but can't you be more careful about it?" Noah complained.

"Noah shut up for once in your life." The punk retorted.

/

The focus shifted up a set of legs clothed in gray sweatpants to a back mostly obscured by long blonde hair. The focus shifted out to show Alejandro at the front desk. "Good afternoon Senorita. What lovely hair you have. I was wondering if you'd mind shoving cash into this bag for me? I'd hate to get violent."

"Anything else I can do for you today?" The woman said as she turned around revealing a familiar masculine face. "Al?" She finished throwing the wig away to reveal the short strawberry blonde hair of Jo.

Alejandro's eyes widened in shock. Just then the doors to the 'bank' burst open and Duncan arrives with Noah still over his shoulder and Gwen and Amy to either side of him. "This is a robbery! Put your hands where I can see them!" Duncan declared. The focus shifted back to Jo, who waved at the Grips with a smug smile on her face. "What the heck!"

The focus moved out to show Chris, who turned to address the audience. "Looks like our contestants have gone from as cool as cucumber to in a pickle. They can run but they can't hide because Total Drama Action will be right back."

/

The warehouse is shown before the focus shifts inside. Jo is smirking smugly as Chris reads off a piece of paper. "Teams, it is my honor to announce Jo will be returning for the duration of the game, and we are all extremely happy about it."

"What! She lost the race for the suitcase!" Duncan complained.

"Sorry, Duncan but my lawyers don't see it that way. I filed a lawsuit against the show and won." Jo smirked.

(confessional)

Chris: Yeah, Jo didn't actually win that case, but they way we figure it this is an opportunity to plant a mole in the cast. Jo's job is to stir things up. The best part, by saying Jo won the case, we can give her perks and advantages and just claim it was part of the lawsuit!

Static

"Jo since you were the bank teller for the challenge, you get to decide which team wins first prize." Chris held up a bag of cash. "Your bag of loot!"

"As much as it pains me to say it, Al's team deserves the win. They got here first." Jo said. Handing the money to Alejandro.

"Do not call me that." The Spaniard glared.

"I'll call you whatever I want." Jo replied.

Sammy looked between the two, a look of sympathy on her face.

"And that means Grips you get second prize." Chris said.

"What is second prize?" Gwen asked.

"Jo!" Chris said, the jockette in question's eyes widened in response. "For the rest of the game! Or until the merge at least."

(Confessional)

Jo: Excuse me? I'm never in second place! You hear me Chris! Never!

Static

"So Grips, Gaffers, your getaway cars are waiting." Chris said. "Better get a move on before the cops arrive." Everyone gave Chris an odd look. "That means go!"

/

The contestants are shown running out of the warehouse, notably Noah is still slung over Duncan's shoulder. "Getaway cars? Cool, I've always wanted to drive one!" Jo said.

"Who said you're driving!" Duncan protested.

"I did, cause I'm leader." The jockette said.

"No, we did not decide that!" Amy said.

A flash transition shows the hill set from episode three, then the Gaffers running up said set, then the Grips running up the set. Finally they arrive at the top where two piles of parts lay. Everyone groaned.

"We should have known Chris wouldn't make it that easy." Noah deadpanned from his position on Duncan's shoulder.

Chris arrived in the red convertible from earlier. "These are your get away cars, just waiting to be assembled."

"You just love to torment us." Gwen glared.

"If the vehicles were ready to go it wouldn't be much of a challenge would it?" Chris asked. Everyone groaned and Chris peeled off sending dirt flying. A crash is heard off screen and a lone wheel rolls its way back in view.

/

Both teams are in the process of building their cars. Both are pretty far along. With the Gaffers Ellody and Alejandro are assembling the vehicle. "I'm most grateful for your assistance Alejandro. I know how to build a car from engineering books, but actually moving some of the heavier parts is beyond my physical capacity."

"It's nothing amiga. I have been an adept builder for many years." Alejandro replied.

Ellody turned to Sammy. "Can you hand me that Lugnut?"

"Lugnut? Sure." Sammy began to look around.

"It's right there." Ellody said pointing to the part in question.

"Right, sorry I don't know much about this." Sammy smiled sheepishly.

The focus moved to Amber and Topher. "I can't believe Ellody still trusts Sammy enough to let her help." Topher remarked.

"Seriously Topher, drop it." Amber glared.

"You know the way you defend her, you'd almost think you were the ones dating." Topher chuckled.

"Oh you'd just love that wouldn't you? Then nothing would be in the way of you making moves on my boyfriend." the bookworm retorted.

"Seriously I don't know what you guys are talking about?" Topher frowned.

"Deny all you want Topher, you'll have to face it eventually." Amber said.

/

Meanwhile Gwen and Duncan were working on the Grips' car. "Wow, you're surprisingly good at building things considering how destructive you are." Gwen smirked.

"In order to dismantle something you have to know how to build it. It's like stripping a car, only in reverse." Duncan replied.

The focus shifted to Jo and Noah. "Have to say, really enjoying the way you're playing the game this season." Jo complimented. "I especially like the part where you made alliances with both Tweedle Dee and Stuncan."

Noah's eyes widened. "You know about that?"

"Of course." Jo smirked. "but don't worry I won't rat you out. As long as you do what I say. Got it?"

Noah sighed. "Got it."

Amy arrived just as Jo moved to help Duncan and Gwen. "What were you two talking about?"

"Just Jo bragging about herself again. You know how egocentric she is." Noah replied. Amy's eyes narrowed. Noah swallowed. "I'm gonna help build the getaway car." He decided, walking away quickly.

/

At this point both teams have assembled everything but the wheels. The focus is on the Grip. "Some getaway car. It's just a lousy go cart." Amy huffed.

"It's better than nothing." Gwen snapped. "It's not like you've been any help this whole time."

"Excuse me? Who was trapped in the safe for the entire first half of the challenge, and didn't do anything but cry and mop about it?" Amy glared.

"Hey! Pasty has a severe fear of enclosed spaces. You'd have been in the same position if you were locked in the vault with a bunch of balloons!" Duncan defended.

"Whatever. I'm still more useful than Noah has been. Not only did he not help open the safe but he slowed us down! Duncan had to carry him here!" Amy pointed out.

"And yet I'd still rather he stay here than you. At least he's got a halfway decent personality." Gwen replied.

"Like personality will help me win the game." Amy scoffed.

The arguing was interrupted by the sound of an engine. All three Grips look over to find the Gaffers have gotten their wheels on and have entered their go cart with Alejandro in the driver's seat. As they move to drive off Alejandro stops the cart and turns to face Jo. "Adios Jo, I'd say it was pleasure to see you, but that's a lie even I'd struggle to maintain." He smirked, before peeling off.

"Quick, we gotta get those wheels on!" Jo ordered.

/

The focus followed the Gaffers as they raced down the hill set. Everyone's eyes widened, and the view changed to show they were about to run into a costume rack. They all screamed as they drove directly through it.

After they were through it was revealed Alejandro had a pink baby bonnet on, Topher was in a purple and lighter purple striped bra, Amber was in a red clown nose and rainbow clown wig, Ellody had a pair of swirly glasses over her actual glasses, and Sammy had a pink feather boa wrapped around her neck and a huge pink sunhat covered in yet more feathers.

Amber began to laugh at Topher's bra. He huffed.

(confessional)

Topher: Please, Amber wishes she could pull that look off. (He sighs), at least Alejandro's mature enough to not laugh.

Static

Alejandro: (Snickers but quickly devolves into outright laughter.)

Static

The Gaffers finally reach the bottom of the hill set as Alejandro, Ellody, and Topher remove their costumes. They screamed again as the view shifted to show a semi truck of logs on a road . The view shifted to show it was merely a backdrop as the go cart shot through it. Yet again they screamed as the focus moved to show a construction blockade leading straight off a broken bridge. Like last time this was quickly revealed to be another backdrop. This continued with them crashing through a city scene with three police cars, and a space backdrop featuring Saturn. An old man in a yellow raincoat with a hook hand was right ahead of them. When the view shifted this time it was to reveal the guy was actually real as they ran him over.

/

The Grips go kart now has wheels. "Finally, we're done." Jo complained. "Outta my way, I'm driving."

"No I'm the one with criminal experience, so I should drive." Duncan complained.

"I'm the leader so I drive!" The jockette got in his face.

"We never decided you were the leader!" The punk glared. A loud honk interrupted their arguing. Amy is in the driver's seat with Noah and Gwen next to her.

"Hey Morons! Shut up and get in the car!" The blonde ordered.

Jo and Duncan jumped in and Amy gunned it, sending Noah back into Duncan's lap. He sighed. "Why is it always me?"

/

Chris and Chef are shown to be waiting at the finish line. Chef has a checkered flag, while Chris looks through a pair of binoculars. "Looks like the Gaffers are about to make a clean getaway and win the challenge." Chris said as the focus shifted to the Gaffers go cart. "No wait!" The Grips go cart was speeding directly towards them. "The Grips are closing in!" Amy smashed the Grips cart into the Gaffers cart. Both carts end up smoking wrecks.

"Nice going Tweedle Dee! This isn't over, pick it up!" Jo ordered, the grips began to do so. The Gaffer's cart was still a bit ahead and they were pushing it towards the finish line. In the end the front of th grips car crossed the line first, but immediately afterwards the back half of the cart, which was being carried by Noah and Amy, slammed into the ground. The Gaffers pushed their entire cart over the line.

"First off, I'd like to congratulate both teams for choosing to go green, but in the end the Gaffer's win!" Chris announced. The Gaffers cheered.

"Wait! We crossed the line first!" Jo protested.

"Technically, only half your cart crossed the finish line." Chris smirked. "Which means I'll be seeing the Grips at tonight's gilded Chris ceremony. And Gaffers even though you committed anything but the perfect crime, you get to enjoy victory, and your bag of loot."

/

At a picnic table out side the trailers Alejandro empty out the bag. Sammy gasps. "Wow, that's a lot of money!"

"Actually," Ellody said as she picked up one of the bills. "If you examine these closely you'll find they're fake."

Amber picked up one of the bills. "Non-negotiable Chris Cash. Accepted only in the Total Drama Action crafts and service tent towards the purchase of water from the tap." She deadpanned. "Big surprise."

Topher chuckled. "Classic Chris."

Alejandro picked up one of the bills, in close up we see it has Chris' face on it. "That man's vanity knows no bounds."

"As you would know." Ellody smirked.

/

Instead of the usual opening, a flash transition takes us directly to Chris at the Gilded Chris ceremony. "The time has come! Like always Killer Grips, one member of your team will not be receiving a coveted Gilded Chris made of the finest Belgian chocolate. However, votes against Jo will not count tonight. Wouldn't want to lose our new contestant so quickly. "

The Grips are shown making their votes. Once they were all done, Chef lowered himself down on a rope to hand Chris the letter. " The Gilded Chris' go to Jo, Noah. and Duncan." The three caught their gilded Chris'. The music swelled as Gwen and Amy were both shown in split screen. "And the final award goes to…"

...

...

...

"...Gwen."

Amy's eyes widened as the Goth caught her award and stuck her tongue out at Amy. "Noah! I thought you were going to convince Jo to vote out Gwen with us!"

"I tried, but she insisted you were a bigger threat since you got to the final three last time." Noah said.

"Wait, you voted for my best friend? Not cool man!" Duncan glared.

"Hey, you know your closeness is a threat to me. Not like you'd do anything different." Noah huffed.

"We could have taken out Amy this week and then Jo the next time we lost!" Duncan retorted.

"Wait, why would Noah vote me out?! We're in an alliance!" Amy snapped.

Duncan's eyes widened. "Dude, you were two timing on me?"

"I'm sure that clip isn't going to be used out of context." Noah muttered.

"You can forget our alliance!" Duncan said. In the stands Jo smirked.

(Confessional)

Jo: Yeah, I figured Tweedle Dee would spill the beans on their little alliance once she was eliminated. Now Scrawny's right where I want him. I'm going to win this time.

Static

Chris: I knew bringing Jo back was a good idea.

Static

Amy is walking down the walk of shame, as she reaches the Lame-o-sine, someone called out to her. She turned to see Noah.

"Hey, I'm gonna miss trash talking our teammates with you." Noah admitted.

Amy smirked. "Is that your way of saying we're friends?"

"Don't push it." Noah smirked.

"Well good luck. Since Ella's not in the competition I might as well root for you." Amy scoffed. "Don't take it the wrong way, you're just not as big a loser as everyone else."

"I'll keep that in mind." The Cynic said as Amy got into the Lame-o-sine. He sighed.

(Confessional)

Noah: I should have known two alliances would blow up in my face. This isn't over though. Jo thinks she can use me? Fine, I'll let her use me, then when she least expects it, I'll take her out.

Static

Chris is in the security room. "Whoa, Jo's really mixed things up for the Gaffers hasn't she?" He turned to the audience. "How else will Jo cause drama? Are Noah's days numbered? And when will Topher realize he's crushing on Alejandro? All this and more, next time on Total. Drama. Action!"

Chapter Text

The recap begins with a distance shot of the entire film lot. "Last time on Total Drama Action!" Alejandro is shown holding his rumbling stomach, then he is shown being kidnapped from the kitchen, then Gwen is shown also being kidnapped. Sammy is shown getting the hint for the combination from the vent, followed by Ellody opening the safe. After this, Gwen is shown jumping into Duncan's arms and hugging him. "Thanks to a few laxatives, Alejandro's delicate stomach led to him getting kidnapped, with Gwen joining him as they were both locked in separate safes. Alejandro found the cipher for the Code which Ellody expertly solved. Meanwhile Duncan and Gwen shared a moment."

The Gaffers are shown reaching the bank first, followed by Jo revealing herself, then both the Grips and Gaffers working to move their go karts over the finish line. The Grips' go kart falling on the line leading to the Gaffers winning. Elimination is shown, with Amy spilling the beans about Noah's double alliance. Then Amy taking the Lame-o-sine. "Everyone was shocked with the return of Jo, a mole we've sneaked back into the competition under the pretense of a lawsuit. The Grips lost, and Amy was given the boot, but not before revealing Noah was two timing his alliance with Duncan."

The remaining nine contestants are shown in separate squares. Chris popped up in front of this with a finger held high, then the recap closed out with Chris in front of the trailers. "With only nine contestants left, maybe one of them will stand a chance. On another awe inspiring episode of Total. Drama. Action."

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

A flock of birds flies by in the sunrise sky as the focus is on the girls trailer. It quickly cuts inside. "I can't believe Jo's back!" Sammy was saying.

" Indeed, she was rightfully dismissed from being on the show." Ellody agreed.

"What kind of lawyers did she hire? And where can I find them? If they can find enough loopholes in that contract to bring Jo back, then they should have no problem filing an endangerment lawsuit." Amber said.

"I'm more hung up on the fact Noah turned out to be in an alliance with Amy and Duncan! Amy's awful, but more importantly Duncan never told me about his alliance with Noah. I thought we trusted each other." Gwen sighed.

"Hey, maybe he just didn't want you mixed up in it." Sammy said.

:"I guess that's possible." the goth noted. "I just can't believe my best friend wouldn't tell me." Everyone stared at Gwen in disbelief. "What?"

"While you current relationship status is best friends it's clear your feelings go beyond that." Ellody pointed out.

"Yeah, you're clearly into him." Amber agreed.

"Are you planning to make a move?" Sammy asked.

(Confessional)

Gwen: What is with everyone thinking I'm into Duncan?!

Static

"We're just friends." Gwen huffed. "I mean, sure he was my favorite contestant when I watched the first season, and we get along well. We have similar interests, and I feel like he gets me..." All the girls nodded along with this, knowing smiles on their faces. "That doesn't prove anything!"

"They say the first stage of love is denial." Amber smirked.

"Perhaps you are unwilling to face your feelings out of fear he may not reciprocate?" Ellody suggested.

"Okay, I don't go around asking about your relationships. So stay out of mine!" Gwen protested.

(confessional)

Amber: She's going to have to face it eventually.

Static

Sammy: I kinda get where she's coming from. I mean, I was so scared Trent didn't like me at first.

Static

Ellody: In the long run, the emotional build up from her denying her true feelings will result in stress.

Static

Inside the boy's trailer both Alejandro and Topher are working on their hair in the mirror. "It's nice to have another guy understand how important looks are." Topher said.

"Indeed, the number of times people have attempted to insult my masculinity because I take care of myself. It is beyond pathetic." Alejandro smirked.

"With your hair, eyes, cheekbones, and muscular build, who wouldn't take care of themselves?" Topher sighed. He quickly backpedaled. "Not that I noticed those features."

Alejandro chuckled. "Are you sure? Because I must admit, I'm flattered one as beautiful as you would think so highly of my looks."

The focus shifted to Duncan and Noah. "Topher looks like he's ready to melt into a puddle." Noah chuckled. Duncan ignored him. "Oh come on, you're not still mad at me?"

"Of course I am!" Duncan snapped.

"There was no rule saying we couldn't have another alliance." Noah pointed out.

"I know, and honestly I kinda respect that." Duncan said

"Then why-" Noah began.

"Because you tried to vote out Pasty! You know how much she means to me!" the punk retorted.

"And you know that makes the two of you a threat to me. You would have done the same thing." Noah huffed.

"Whatever." Duncan glared.

/

Back in the girls trailer Jo stomps in. "Hey, pathetic losers, miss me?" She smirked.

"No. I appreciated the distinct lack of egocentric jock in my life." Amber glared.

"You're just mad my team's gonna win until the merge." Jo said.

"We'll see about that." The bookworm said.

"Yeah, we've got better teamwork!" Sammy agreed.

Before Jo could retort, a loud horn sounded through the air. "What is making that noise?" Ellody asked.

A flash transition takes us to Chris who is blowing through a large prop horn made to look like bone. He is wearing a loincloth in yellow with one strap over his right shoulder. He chuckles.

/

The contestants are now lined up in front of Chris, who is still next to the horn. "Chris, leopard print died in the eighties." Noah quipped.

"Nice loincloth Chris, really shows off your broad shoulders." Topher complimented.

"Glad you like it." Chris smirked.

Duncan began to point and laughed. "Oh Oh. that outfit's so bad it hurts."

Chris glared. "You think that hurts? Wait til you get to today's challenges. We'll get started as soon as I take care of a few formalities. Thanks to Jo's lawsuit, she'll be playing by a different set of rules.

"You said there are no rules," Duncan argued.

"There are when you win a court case." Jo smirked.

"Let's get this over with." Chris sighed. Chef handed him a book. He cleared his throat and began to read from it. "Rule one: Notwithstanding that contestants are not permitted contact with the outside world, the contestants hereafter referred to as Jo may retain a personal digital assistant. AKA a PDA."

"Seriously? Those lawyers must be cutthroat. " Amber glared.

"Of course, they were. I wouldn't hire lame lawyers." Jo said.

"Rule two: Whereas contestants shall continue to receive allocated meals provided by Chef Hatchet, Jo shall be entitled to a gourmet dining experience with parties consisting of Producers and myself as applicable. Hope you like lobster." Chris continued

Everyone began to glare at Jo and argue. Jo's smirk only widened. "Let's see you weasel your way out of this Jo." Chris smirked.

"I don't need to, not my fault these losers have a problem with it." The jockette gloated.

"Oh and did I mention she also gets to sleep with a pure goose down pillow, a lofty comforter, and seven hundred thread count sheets?" Chris said.

Everyone was arguing about this, but Jo just remained smug.

(confessional)

Chris: Like the legalese at the beginning of my explanation? We got our lawyers to write it, so it seems like Jo actually won a lawsuit. We might be going overboard giving her all this special treatment, but that's to rile the contestants up more.

Static

Jo: I don't need a frou-frou pillow, comforter and sheets, but if it makes the others mad I'll go along with it. Plus, being able to get on the internet anytime I want with the PDA and not having to eat Chef's crappy food? Those are the perks that make being a mole worthwhile. That and a chance at the million.

Static

"I cannot believe you're going along with this Jo. You don't think you can win fairly?" Alejandro smirked.

"You know none of the advantages my lawyers gave me will help me in actual challenges, that's all me. Besides we all know you're just jealous I get to be treated the way you probably do at home." Jo smirked.

Alejandro's voice became low and dangerous. "Do not presume to know anything about my home life."

"Whatever Al. Maybe if you beg me, I'll let you borrow my pillow." The jockette gloated.

"Never call me that!" The Spaniard snapped. At this point Jo and Alejandro were in each other's faces.

Chris passed by with a chuckle. "While I'm loving this show of hostility, I think today's challenges will help bring out your more primal instincts. Today's genre: The period piece.

"We aren't gonna have to dress in those obnoxiously huge dresses, are we?" Gwen asked.

"I don't think you need to worry. Chris' terrible outfit already revealed what period we're talking about." Noah deadpanned.

"I concur, we are clearly doing a Paleolithic period piece. Or an approximation of one, considering how poorly documented that moment of human evolution was." Ellody agreed.

"Correctamundo. I thought the rest of you dum dums might have guessed from my loincloth." Chris gestured to himself.

"Um, sorry if this is dumb, but they're talking about the stone age right?" Sammy asked Amber.

"Yeah, looks like we're playing cavepeople today." Amber replied.

"No talking! Cave people grunt and look confused, so for once you're all perfectly cast." Chris chuckled.

"Says the guy in the loincloth." Gwen smirked.

"Okay," Chris began, ignoring the goth's comment. "Cave people in prehistoric flicks do two things: Make fire, and use tools made of bones. technically you also have to know how to bring down a mammoth down with a stick, but we didn't have the budget. So no mammoth, no challenge. Chris walked to a rack of cave person costumes. "Here are your costumes. Get into character people."

"You've got to be kidding." Duncan said.

"I never kid." Chris chuckled. "Actually I do, but never about something this funny."

"Perfect, Jo will look like the neanderthal she is." Alejandro smirked, walking off screen.

/

A backdrop of a sunset scene with craggy rocks and various purple trees is briefly shown before Chris walks on screen. "Hello cast, nice to see you all decked out for the competition." The focus moved to show the contestants now lined up in front of Chris. Each wearing a different cave person outfit. On the far right was Alejandro in a red tinged loincloth that left very little to the imagination. Then Sammy in a red fur bikini, Amber in purple fur bikini, Topher in a blue loin cloth with a shoulder strap, Ellody in an orange cave dress, Gwen in a teal fur bikini, Noah in a tan loincloth like Alejandro's, Jo in a gray cave dress, and Duncan in a golden loincloth with a strap. All were leopard print. "Might I say you all look prehysterical!"

"I'm not comfortable showing this much skin." Noah muttered.

"Why not? You can pull it off." Topher smiled. Noah gave him an odd look.

"Chef, the tools for the first stone age challenge please?" Chris announced.

Chef walked down the line of contestants handing out rocks. "Here's your rocks,"

"Rocks? Aren't we taking this stone age thing a little too literally?" Duncan scoffed.

"Actually Duncan, rocks can be used in a variety of ways." Ellody interjected. "They were the first tools of humankind."

"Yeah, which just tells me they're outdated." The punk said.

/

A distance shot of the entire film lot is shown before quickly cutting to Chris explaining the challenge. "First team to collect a hidden firewood and use the Flint stones to make fire earns something to help them with the second challenge. Ready? And Action!" The contestants scatter.

/

Jo is shown pulling a stack of firewood out from behind a bush, while Noah casually walks past in search of his own. Duncan walks into the scene with a confident look on his face when Chef lifts him up and looks under his loincloth, which is covered by pixels. "Hey, hey easy there! Not a lot of fabric here."

"Hand it over." Chef demanded. Duncan dumped out a knife, a stick of dynamite, a blow pipe, and a flamethrower. He turned to Chef with a smile. "All of it prehistoric pond scum." He ordered. Duncan was about to throw down something else, when a high pitched scream drew both parties' attention. Duncan used the opportunity to palm whatever he was about to throw down.

Noah came screaming out of the area off screen. "I thought we left these things on Bony Island." Noah yelled as what looked like one of the wooly beavers from Bony island ran after him.

Chris walked into the scene next to Chef and Duncan. "Looks like Noah found the wooden beaver dam on the set of 'Rodents who kill!" Noah ran past the three in the background.

"And rodents who kill: part two." Chef chuckled as Noah ran back from the other direction with two beavers after him now.

"Those killer beavers are animatronic right?" Duncan asked.

"Animatronic? Of course." Chris said with a wink to the camera.

Noah ran past the three yet another time. "Serves you right!" Duncan called.

(Confessional)

Noah: (his face has a few small bandages on it and an arm is wrapping a bandage around his own arm.) Please, like this is some kind of karmic punishment for my supposed misdeeds. In my experience the universe is a cruel mistress who seems to take pleasure in my misery. Whether I've done bad things or not.

Static

Noah is now running around Gwen, who has her own stack of wood. "Come on! I know I voted for you last time but is that any reason to let me get mauled by beavers?!"

Gwen sighed. "Fine." She stuck a foot out and tripped the beaver, before setting her wood down and taking a single log to whack over the creature's head.

On the ground Noah groaned as Gwen picked up her pile of wood. "Thank you."

"Whatever." The goth said, walking off.

The focus shifted to the Gaffers at their fire. They had a bit setup with rocks surrounding a stack of wood in a cone shape. Several stumps surrounded it.

"Okay, does anyone know the proper technique to use rocks to set a fire? I've read a lot of wilderness survival guides, but they usually recommend you bring something else to start a fire, or barring that, using the stick method." Amber sighed.

"Have some faith in your boyfriend Amber, if anyone can start a fire with rocks it's Alejandro." Topher smirked.

"I'm glad to hear it amigo, but I believe Ellody would be more suited to this task." Alejandro said.

Ellody began to consider her rocks as a scoff was heard from off screen, the focus shifted to show Jo and the rest of the grips were at an identical fire site, where Jo is pounding rocks together. "Can't even do your own dirty work Al?"

"Delegation is a tool any true leader knows how to utilize." Alejandro said.

"Whatever, all I hear is excuses Al." Jo smirked.

Alejandro gritted his teeth and looked about to snap back when he felt a hand on his shoulder. The focus moved back to reveal it was Sammy. "Remember what you taught me. Don't let her get to you. That's what she wants."

(confessional)

Alejandro: Sammy is correct. I must not show weakness, especially when I know he is watching, just waiting until I get home to mock me for every little mistake I make.

Static

Sammy: The look on Alejandro's face when someone calls him Al. It's like when I get called Samey. The question is, why does he have that reaction?

Static

Jo: Al acts like he's better than everyone else, so taking him down a peg is so satisfying.

Static

"Things are finally heating up!' Chris said. The focus shifted to the Grips at their fire.

"Come on, work you stupid rocks!" Jo said as she continued to hit the rocks together.

The Gaffers are shown as Ellody continues to calculate something in her head. "Ellody? Shouldn't you start?" Amber asked.

"Patience. I must strike the rocks just right to successfully utilize them." Ellody said.

"I love it when sparks fly." Chris said as the focus was briefly on him, before shifted between the two teams. Jo striking her rocks, then Ellody muttering calculations under her breath. Then it shifted back to the Grips where Duncan snuck the thing he'd palmed earlier, a lighter, out of his loincloth, and while Jo was pounding her rocks used it to set the fire alight.

All of the Grips cheered as their fire roared. Jo smirked. "See, it's not even hard."

Ellody finally smacked her rocks together and instantly set the Gaffers fire alight. " All it required were some calculations."

"You spent so much time calculating that the Grips won the first challenge!" Chris announced as he walked past them.

"So much for your delegation Al!" Jo mocked. Alejandro bristled.

/

A distance shot of the film lot is shown once again as a loud sound is heard through the area. The focus shifted to Chris with the prop horn from earlier. He chuckled. "Yep, still loving this crazy thing."

/

The contestants stood in line before a pit of black ooze as Chris began to introduce the second challenge to them. "Time for our second caveman movie challenge. but first, Chef will pass out your rewards from this morning. Chef? Weapons please?"

Chef removed a sheet to reveal a pile of bones. "Wait a minute, we get bones as a reward?" Gwen asked incredulously.

"Hey for cave people, bones were cutting edge technology" Chris said. "And they're not your reward." Chef began to hand out small bones to the Grips. Duncan's eyes widened as the focus moved to show Chef was handing larger bones to the Gaffers.

"Hey what gives! I won the challenge, I made fire first!" Jo protested.

"Actually, you didn't. We reviewed the footage caught on camera, and it turns out Duncan started your fire with a lighter. Which is not a stone age tool, which means Ellody made fire first. The Gaffer win!" Chris explained.

"What was that you said about my delegation?" Alejandro smirked.

"This isn't on me! Stuncan is the one who got caught cheating!" Jo retorted.

"Ah, ah, ah." Alejandro began with a finger wag. "First rule of leadership: Everything is your fault."

Chris cleared his throat loudly, bringing attention back to him. "The props department for cave man movies are bare bones." Chris held up a bone. "Which means these are all actors have to fight their on-screen enemies with."

"And who exactly are these enemies?" Noah asked.

"Each other of course. Grip Tribe versus Gaffer Tribe." Chris explained.

"Cool, we have to fight each other with bones?" Duncan smirked. A bone hit the back of his head. He glared at the culprit. Topher.

"Oops, sorry, my finger slipped." The blonde smirked.

"I like the enthusiasm you two. Only you'll be fighting up there." Chris pointed upwards and focus shifted to show two fake rock pillars over a bubbling tar pit. "Each player that knocks his or opponent off the column into that fake bubbling tar pit scores a point for their team."

" The Gaffers have an extra player!" Duncan pointed out.

"Which is why one Gaffer will be sitting out. Ellody, since you're the one who started the fire, we'll make it you." Chris explained.

"It is likely for the best as I am the most physically weak of my team." Ellody nodded.

"And with that out of the way, to the tar pits!" Chris announced.

/

The first team was Sammy vs Gwen. "So, when do we start?" Sammy asked nervously.

"Oh don't worry, you'll know." Chris cackled. Then he took a big breath and blew the horn.

Startled, both girls lost balance with Sammy dropping her large bone into the tar pit below. They both recovered. "Oh no." The cheerleader gulped.

"Well, this will be easy." Gwen chuckled, hitting her bone into Sammy's stomach. The blonde clutched it in pain as she fell into the tar pit below. "No hard feelings!" The goth called,

"That's one point for the Grips." Chris announced.

The focus moved to show Amber looking into the pool of tar worriedly. "Sammy are you okay?"

Sammy surfaced. "Yeah, the liquid's actually pretty cool. It feels really good on my skin.":

"I wonder what this fake tar is made of, perhaps it's good for your skin?" Ellody thought.

"I'll bet Sammy lost that on purpose." Topher huffed.

"Topher, just drop it already. No one is buying what you're selling!" Amber snapped.

"Next up: Amber and Duncan." Chris chuckled.

The cry of a creature rang through the air as the prehistoric geese, also from boney island, flew into the area. "Looks like Sammy's bloodcurdling screams have attracted a swarm of prehistoric pterodactyls. This should be interesting." Chris noted.

"Nice effects Chris, really looks like they're there." Topher said.

"Oh, totally special effects." Chris said as he backed away nervously.

/

The geese are shown flying in the background as Duncan was shown from the front view on his column. "Why don't you just make things easy on yourself and jump in the pit for me nerd." Duncan smirked.

Amber is shown on her column shaking as she held her bone up defensively. "I-I can't, my team's counting on me."

The pterodactyl cried out as it swooped by, Amber managed to use her bone to block, but the creature grabbed it. Duncan's eyes widened as the bone formerally held by Amber was slammed into his gut, sending him off the platform.

(Confessional)

Amber: Well that was lucky. No way I could beat Duncan normally.

Static

"And it's even at one all.." Chris announced "Next up Topher vs Noah!"

/

The two guys are now on their respective pillars. Topher poses for the camera with a smirk. "I kinda wish Chris had given me a loincloth like yours. I'd love to show the fans my physique."

"Oh yeah, you're a real catch." Noah rolled his eyes.

"Although I can't complain about this either. The strapped loin cloth would look bad on your body type." Topher said.

"Because I care about your opinion." Noah scoffed.

(confessional)

Topher: What I don't get is why Noah doesn't want to show himself off. I mean he's a good looking guy, fans would go crazy over him. Not as much as Alejandro or me but still.

Static

Noah: During the short break between seasons, I found out I have a sizable fanbase. And they are not shy about how attractive they find me. Imagine all those people watching me while I wear practically nothing. (He shudders) Word of advice, if you become famous never look yourself up on the internet.

Static

Topher swung his bone at Noah, who ducked, as he did he gasped. "The beavers are back." The focus moved down to show the beavers were jumping into the fake tar pit, swimming to the column.

Topher swung his bone at Noah again, Noah dodged, and then the column began to wiggle. He looked down. "Oh come on, this pillar's made of plaster!" He complained as the focus moved to show the beavers were now gnawing through the column he was standing on. The column fell forward, and Noah let out a scream as he jumped to the column Topher was standing on. He rammed right into Topher, who lost his balance and both contestants fell into the tar pit below.

(confessional)

Topher: (Covered in fake tar) Hey Ellody was right; this is good for the skin.

Static

Chris chuckled. "That was awesome! Would have preferred to see some beaver carnage, but you can't have everything. Anyway, with the teams still tied,that leaves us with a grudge match between Alejandro and Jo, on the same column! You just can't write this stuff!"

"Don't get too excited, I'll knock Al off his high horse in no time." Jo bragged.

/

Both Jo and Alejandro were now crammed on to the same pillar. Alejandro swung his large bone at Jo, but she just caught it in her hand. "Is that the best you've got Al?" Alejandro swung the bone again. Jo didn't move. "Because this is pathetic." Alejandro grit his teeth and swung the bone again.

"Don't let her get to you!" Sammy called from the ground below.

"Take that cretin down!" Amber cheered.

"You've got this!" Topher added.

Alejandro swung his bone again. Jo caught it and pretended to yawn. She lifted her smaller bone ready to send Alejandro into the tar below. "Face it Al, you'll never beat me."

Alejandro's eyes narrowed as he lifted his bone again. "My name is not Al!" He snapped, hitting Jo square on the head. Dizzy, she fell off the column. The focus followed her descent into the tar pit.

Chris laughed in a voice over. "I gotta check that out again!" The footage rewound a bit and showed Alejandro hitting Jo over the head and her falling into the tar pit again. Chris laughed a second time. "Awesome."

Chris was shown declaring the challenge result while Jo crawled out of the tar pit behind him. "Well, I'd say the Grips had a better chance at the million B.C.! B.C." He repeated. "Before Concussions. As for the Gaffers, they win today's reward." Chef is shown a cart into the area. A large set of flintstone-like ribs were tied to the top. "A mammoth sized prehistoric barbeque!"

The Gaffers cheered as Chef stopped the cart by them. He shrugged. "Eh. It's a living.":

"Don't worry, the Gaffers may have won today's reward, but" The host pulled out a large egg. "We're not gonna let the Gaffers go hungry." He threw the egg to Gwen. "A pterodactyl egg?"

"Should be enough for the four of you, you do have a fire." The host said, as the fire from earlier was shown. It went out immediately. "Maybe if you're lucky the Gaffers will throw you a bone when they're done."

Alejandro, Topher, Amber, Ellody and Sammy all approach the cart with their meal. Chef got out of the cart, which caused it to slide backwards. Alejandro quickly steadied it. "I will not lose our prize so easily."

"Aww come on! I was hoping you'd end up having to hunt with your bones." The host complained.

"Not a chance." Sammy said.

"So does anyone know how to hard boil an egg over a fire?" Gwen asked. A loud cry rang through the air.

"Uh, Gwen? I think the pterodactyl wants its egg back." Chris said.

The goth gasped as the creature dove for her. She tossed the egg to Duncan. "Sorry!"

The punk let the egg fall to the ground and lifted up the small bone he still had. "You ready for a rematch bird brain!"

The sounds of fighting can be heard off screen. A flash transition later and Duncan is dragging the corpse of the pterodactyl past Chris, Chef and Jo. "Probably tastes like chicken." Chris said. "Speaking of chicken, tonight's surf and turf! Shall we?"

"Let's jet." Chef said. Chris, Chef and Jo all walk past the rest of the Grips who have made a spit roast for the Pterodactyl Duncan was now dragging to them.

"How long do you think it takes spit roasted pterodactyl to cook?" Gwen asked.

"At least three hours." Noah quipped. All of the Grips glared at Jo as she passed by.

(confessional)

Jo: (Holding a plate with a lobster on it.) Did you see the looks on their faces?! I mean avoiding Chef's food was good enough, but seeing how mad it made everyone else? (She laughed.) Priceless. You know being a mole is really fun.

Static

Chris: Jo's doing her job well, totally worth paying for a PDA, extra meals, and luxury bedding. (He takes a sip from a coconut and picks his teeth with a toothpick.) See you next time Kiddies. Same Chris Time. (He throws the coconut away) Same Chris channel. (the sound of glass shattering can be heard off screen.) Uh. Wasn't me! (The host quickly exits to the right)

Chapter Text

The recap begins with a distance shot of the film lot. "Last time on Total Drama Action!" The contestants were all shown, with an emphasis on Alejandro and Sammy. Chris is shown in his own loincloth. Jo is shown smirking while all the other contestants complain, then Jo fighting with Alejandro, followed by the Spaniard hitting her over the head and Jo landing in the tar pit. " Our caveman challenge made some people look good, and others look better! Jo relished in everyone's anger at her getting special treatment, especially Alejandro. But she might have taken it too far because Alejandro knocked her for a loop."

Chef is shown driving the cart with the rack of ribs on it, then the Gaffers are shown approaching, and Alejandro is shown steading the cart before it can fall into the tar pit. Then Duncan is shown letting the pterodactyl egg fall to the ground while he readied himself to fight the creature. "As their reward the Gaffers won a mammoth rack of mastodon ribs which they barely saved from the tar pits. Meanwhile the Grips were forced to fend for themselves."

The monitors from the security room as shown as two of them flashed up Jo and Alejandro. "What will become of Jo and Alejandro's rivalry?" The screen cut to static before flashing up Noah and an irate Duncan. "Will Noah survive the ire of his teammate?" Duncan remained on screen while Gwen appeared on the other. "And will Duncan and Gwen ever get together?!"

The screens cut to static again as the focus shifted to show Chris in the security room. The quickly flashed to Chris in front of the trailers. "Find out, on Total. Drama. Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The sun is shown high in the sky as a red bird flies by. The focus shifted down to the boy's trailer before cutting inside. Noah is shown sleeping with his arms around his pillow as normal. A trumpet sounds and Noah shoots up. He gasps then looks at the pillow in his arms. "I thought I was holding Crimson." He sighed.

"What is with Chris waking us at such an hour?!" Alejandro huffed as the focus shifted to his and Topher's bed.

"I need my beauty sleep." Topher complained.

"You're gonna need a lot more than sleep." Duncan scoffed.

"This from the guy who doesn't pluck his unibrow." The blonde rolled his eyes.

Outside the trailers Amber exited with a groan. "I'm going to kill Chris."

"Wait in line with the rest of us." Gwen said, exiting behind her with a yawn.

"A consistent sleep schedule is required for my brain to function." Ellody complained.

"I haven't even had time to get dressed;" Sammy agreed.

Jo stepped out last with a smug look on her face. "Doesn't matter how tired I am, I'm still gonna win."

The tip of a trombone is shown, then the focus moves out to show Chris with a blue marching band hat on, and on this back a self playing drum with a pair of cymbals on top. "Morning sports fans. Who's ready to put up a good offense?"

Chef arrived wearing a food worker hat and holding the kind of box food vendor's use with a pot and several spaghetti balls with tomato sauce on top. "Ghetti here. Get your piping hot spaghetti here." Chef picked up one of the spaghetti balls, and began to throw them at the contestants.

First the girls, Jo caught hers easily, Gwen managed to catch hers, Sammy's slammed into her chest, Ellody fumbled hers, and Amber's hit her in the face. Then the boys, Alejandro and Duncan both caught their balls, Topher's slammed into his pajama clad chest and Noah fell down, when he came back up two spaghetti balls were stuck to his chest. Noah gave the camera an unamused look as he took them off.

"Chris! My pajamas are ruined!" Topher complained.

"That was uncalled for." Alejandro agreed.

"That was breakfast." Chris explained.

"We're eating spaghetti for breakfast?" Sammy questioned.

"It's called carbo loading. Today you're all going to give two hundred percent-" The host began.

"That's a mathematical impossibility." Ellody noted.

"In our exciting sports movie challenge." Chris finished, ignoring her.

Noah fell to his knees. "Nooooooooo!"

Chris cackled. "Yes! Suck that ghetti back you loveable underdogs destined to come back from failure!" Chris announced as he walked off. "We've got a training run!"

(confessional)

Noah: I knew it was coming, I just didn't think it'd be here so soon.

Static

/

A couple pairs of shoes are shown, first Jo's sneakers, then Alejandro's boots. The focus moved out to show Jo and Alejandro barely breaking a sweat, with Duncan, Gwen and Sammy closest behind. Then Topher, Amber, Ellody and in the rear, looking ready to collapse any minute, Noah.

"That all you got sports fans? Man up! It's time for more action." Chris called.

"I just want to curl up and die." Noah gasped.

"Geez you're pathetic." Duncan scoffed.

"Good thing I can pick up the slack." Jo bragged.

"Sorry, I was just acquainted with the astroturf." Noah managed to groan.

"The grass is fake?" Sammy asked.

"Hello, it's a set." Chris mocked the focus pulled out to show the bleachers behind them were merely a backdrop.

"Football fields are usually astroturf anyway as the actual ground is uneven and thus impractical for sports." Ellody elaborated.

"Today's competition is gonna require sweat, guts, heart, and sweat." Chris said.

"You said sweat twice." Gwen pointed out.

"That's cause it's not just your sweat you'll be dealing with. There's Chef's sweat too." Chris gestured over to Chef who was wearing a helmet and white sweatshirt with a blue stripe across the center and doing jumping jacks. "Because, you'll be pushing him the length of the field, and he just ate a huge jar of jalapeno peppers, so he's spraying like a gym class shower. Chef walked over to a tackling dummy that had been set up near Chris.

"Eww! You mean we've got to push Chef's Jalapeno sweating body down the field like he's a football dummy?" Topher complained.

"Don't call me a dummy." Chef said

"What? You aren't a big enough Total Drama fan to enjoy that?" Amber mocked.

"Honestly chica who would be?" Alejandro said.

"We have no other recourse. We must push Chef in lieu of a football dummy. " Ellody said.

"What'd I say about the Dummy thing?" Chef complained.

"Do I have to? Sweat covered isn't a good look for me." Topher sighed.

"Yes you do. We all have to pitch in, as a team!" Sammy declared.

(Confessional)

Sammy: I can't let Topher walk all over me. Ever since I got Chef off my back Topher's been on it instead.

Static

Chris stood on the bleachers with a stopwatch and whistle. He blows the whistle, and the focus moves out to show the Gaffers desperately trying to push Chef. They are not succeeding. "Is that all you've got? I've pushed better than that on my day off." Chef taunted.

"I will not be insulted!" Alejandro said, pushing Chef down the field, so he fell over. "And that's what happens to people who cross me." The Spaniard hissed. The focus moved to Topher and Amber who have opposite expressions on their faces. Amber looks concerned while Topher seems excited.

/

A set of eight tires is shown, the focus moves left to show Jo is running towards them, followed by Duncan, Gwen, and trailing at the back Noah. They all complained and halted one at a time, the focus moving back to reveal each of the Grips now has a pair of tires stuck to their feet. "There's no way these are normal tires." Gwen complained.

"We'll keep walking with them on if we need to!" Jo snapped.

"Really? Sorry to put you through that." Chris chuckled and whispered to the audience. "Wait til they get a load of the mouse traps." The Grips hop from foot to foot as the mouse traps go off. "Snap to it losers!" Chris told them.

/

Jo is shown crawling through the mud under barbed wire, followed by Alejandro, then Amber, and Gwen "I've never had to do this in gym class." Gwen said.

"You're right but we had some mud and barbed wire left over from the war movie challenge and it seemed like fun to me. Is it?" Chris asked.

Everyone groaned, even Jo.

/

"That truly bit." Duncan complained.

"So who won?" Ellody asked.

"Let's see," Chris said as he looked over a clipboard. "Three, carry the five, nobody!"

"What?!" Everyone said.

"It was just to establish who's playing who for the real contest to follow." Chris gestured to a screen split into four, the upper left segment is yellow and features a stick figure punching. The upper right was blue and had two stick figures holding rackets. The lower left was red and had two stick figures fighting, and the final box was green with a figure throwing a ball. "We're running four sporto contests with competitors seeded according to these results." The screen transfers to show Alejandro and Jo on top. Then Sammy and Duncan second, Amber and Topher in one box, and Noah and Gwen in the other third, and Ellody and Noah on bottom.

"Why am I on the screen twice?!" Noah asked incredulously.

"Because in order to include all five Gaffers we had to make the second contest a doubles match. Since the second and third weakest Gaffers are there, and the Grips only have four members,I figured it should be the weakest and second weakest Grips to keep things even." Chris chuckled.

Noah looked ready to kill Chris.

(confessional)

Noah: I hate sports. Physical activity with a side of teamwork? Not my forte to say the least. .

Static

A hanging Mic is shown in close up, Chris grips the mic and the focus moves out to show he's wearing a light blue button up and black bow tie over a long sleeved white shirt. "In the right corner-ner-ner-ner," he announced dramatically, "from the Killers Grips-ips-ips-ips! The king of quips, the cynical contender, a belligerent bibliophile, Noah!" An unseen crowd went wild as Noah was shown sitting on a chair looking bored, the remaining three Grips just outside the ring.

"And in the left corner-ner-ner-ner," Chris announced, "from the Screaming Gaffers-ers-ers-ers! The knockout know it all, the astute astrophysicist, the brainiac brawler,"

"I'm pretty sure he's talking about you." Sammy told Ellody.

"Ellody!" Chris said. The unseen crowd cheered again.

"I assume it's because I did the poorest in the football drills." Ellody said.

"That's right! it's loser vs loser!' Chris said, the focus moved to show Noah looking back at the host with a, tell me something I don't know, look on his face. "We're going to build to the top two players."

"Very well then, if this is to be a proper boxing match, I require gloves." Ellody noted. Chris put two large white cylinder gloves on her hands "Chris, I believe these are made of a confection that historically was partially derived from the extract that coats the roots of the Althaea officinalis."

"What?" Chris asked.

"They're giant marshmallows." Noah deadpanned.

"Props, so you don't hurt those pretty actor places. and in true boxing movie tradition you'll be fighting in," The Host dramatically slowed his movements and pronunciation. "Slow motion."

Ellody stepped into the ring and an orange bell rang. Chris was removed from the boxing ring by the hanging mic. The two nerds circled each other both looking for weaknesses. Noah slowly moved to punch Ellody, but Ellody slowly ducked under it. Then she moved up and slowly moved to make her own punch, which Noah in turn slowly ducked under.

"Come on! Ellody you can do better than that!" Topher called.

Noah stepped backwards towards his side of the ring. Jo was shouting. "Scrawny come on! Fight dirty if you have to!"

Jo's PDA landed on the floor next to her. Duncan smirked and picked it up. "Time to see what I've been missing during the show." Duncan pressed a button and his eyes widened. "What's this?" The focus moved to show Duncan looking at the PDA in shock. Then he glared at Noah.

Unbeknownst to Duncan, Jo smirked.

(confessional)

Jo: I knew Duncan couldn't resist taking my PDA when it was so unguarded. I had the page for the Total Drama website all set up for him to find. Sure, Chris said not to let anyone get their hands on it, but like Duncan's gonna break the passwords protecting what he's worried about people seeing.

Static

/

The orange bell was shown ringing once again as Chris was lowered into the arena by the hanging mic. "Round Two-oo-oo-oo!"

Chef walks across the ring in a purple string bikini with pink make up on. "Ew, Ew, Ew is more like it." Duncan gagged as he snuck Jo's PDA back into her pocket.

"Y'all are just jealous." Chef said.

Noah approached, Ellody and the two began to slowly exchange blows again, once more they were both easily ducking under each other's punches. The focus moved to show Sammy was now cheering. "One, two, three, four, Ellody I know you can score! Five, six, seven, eight, Ellody you are truly great!"

Ellody smiled. "Thanks Sammy."

Unfortunately, Noah took this chance to hit Ellody in the face, sending her glasses to the floor. "My glasses, I can't see without them!" Ellody moved down to the floor to look for them.

Noah smirked triumphantly, and slowly hit Ellody over the head, She lay there dizzy. The host quickly came to her side. ""One!" he called out, holding up a single finger. "Two! Three!"

"Ellody? Ellody you have to get up!" Alejandro declared.

""Fourfivesixseveneightnine and ten!" the host counted off quickly . "and the winner is-is-is-is," he announced, Noah and the Killer Grips!" He held the cynic's gloved hand up.

"Honestly, if you hadn't knocked her glasses off she might have won. You both did well with the slow motion, but after Ellody lost her glasses she forgot to keep moving slowly. And you did knock her down. Chris explained.

Noah looked shocked. "I did it? I won at sports?"

"Just don't get a big head about it." Jo chuckled. Noah gave her a flat look in response.

/

Topher is holding a racket with an oval net and a long handle. The net on the court is much higher than one normally sees it. The blonde smiles widely. "A badminton court?! Yes! Is this in reference to your Badminton movie?" He asked Chris.

"There was a badminton movie?" Sammy asked.

"And it starred Chris?" Amber added.

"That explains why no one's heard of it." Gwen smirked, prompting chuckles from multiple people.

"Nice." Noah told her.

"Well you all missed out on a great movie!" Chris huffed.

"Can you do the scene? You know the speech?!" Topher asked.

"Thanks for asking, I'd love to recreate my finest scene!" Chris smirked. Topher's eyes lit up like he'd already won the million dollar prize.

/

"I just want you to know," Chris began dramatically, swinging the racquet around, "you guys are the best darn badminton players I've had the pleasure of coaching!" The focus moved over the contestants all of whom looked bored and uninterested save Topher, who looked moments away from squeeing like the fanboy he was.

"You're beacons of freedom!" the host continued as Chef walked up behind him with a sad look on his face. "Go show the Olympic Committee we deserve a shot! Show them, it's not badminton, it's goodminton! Heck, it's greatminton! Now get out there, and win one for the Flipper!"

The focus moved to Chef as a tear came to his eye and his lips trembled.

(confessional)

Chef: Why couldn't the Olympic Committee just give the Flipper a break? It was his big dream! ( He bursts into tears)

Static

Chris is now wearing a red baseball cap and sitting on the tall chair the referee uses in such matches. "Battling it out for supremacy in our second round, Amber and Topher, Vs Noah and Gwen!"

"Wait?! I have to work with her/him?" Topher and Amber both said. Then they groaned.

"Yes you do. Just remember if you fail, your team might send you home." Chris taunted. The focus moved out to show Topher and Amber reluctantly getting into position on the right side of the court.

The host lifted up what looked like a real bird. "Watch the birdie!" He tossed it to Amber,

"You aren't actually making us hit a real bird right?" Amber asked.

"It's stuffed with a squeaker. That okay, Mother Teresa?" Chris asked.

"Fine," Amber tossed the birdie into the air and hit it over the net. Gwen hit it back easily.

"I've got it!" Amber and Topher said, running right into each other.

"Wow you guys are really bad at this." Gwen said

"Maybe we'll actually win this." Noah added, the two looked at each other and began to chuckle. In the bleachers Duncan frowned.

The focus shifted to the Gaffers. "You can do it guys!" Sammy called.

"Focus on your half of the court!" Ellody added.

"I have faith in you!" Alejandro called.

"Serve to Gwen." Chris announced.

/

Gwen threw the birdie up in the air and hit it flew towards Amber. Amber managed to hit the birdie back, then Gwen hit it to Topher, and Topher hit it to Noah, who dove for it, accidentally knocking Gwen over. "Sorry." Noah groaned.

"No big deal." Gwen smiled,

The focus briefly moved to the bleachers to show Duncan's frown becoming more pronounced.

Topher served next, and Gwen sent the birdie back. in the bleachers Alejandro called. "Win it for me, you two!"

Determination flashed in both Gaffers eyes. A montage of them hitting the birdie is shown, first Amber, then Topher, then Amber, then Topher, and ending on Amber. The last one resulted in Gwen diving for it, missing and ending up on top of Noah.

Chris blew the whistle. "We have a winner!" He gestured to Amber and Topher, both of whom quickly looked at Alejandro. The charmer winked at them. The focus shifted to Duncan who at this point was storming down the bleachers. He picked up Noah. "You and I are gonna have a little chat." He dragged the cynic off. Gwen looked confused.

The focus shifted to show Topher talking to Ellody. "Look, even if Sammy didn't make a deal with Chef, she should have said no sooner."

The genius nodded. "True, she did let her emotions prolong that."

"And you know, we're probably next on the chopping block if we lose?" Topher said.

"True, Alejandro and Amber are close to Sammy, so that does leave us in a predicament." Ellody frowned.

"What do you say we work together to vote her out in the next elimination?" the blonde suggested.

Chris popped on screen in front of the two, and turned to the audience to address them. "What will become of this little team conspiracy? Don't go away, there's more sports team backstabbing fun to come, on Total Drama Action!"

/

Duncan and Noah are now behind the badminton set backdrop. "Duncan? What's this about?" Noah asked.

"Oh don't give me that! I took Jo's PDA while she wasn't looking, and I know what I heard!" The punk said.

"You took Jo's PDA?" the cynic repeated.

"It's on the Total Drama website Noah! Everything you talked about on your ride to the spa." Duncan said.

Noah looked confused, but shocked. "Everything?"

Duncan turned to Noah. "I thought you voting for pasty behind my back was bad enough, but you voted for her even though you were harboring secret feelings?! And don't you already have a girlfriend?"

"That conversation was about Crimson, and she's only kinda my girlfriend?" Noah said.

"But you were talking about a goth girl, and about wanting to take things to the next level and show her how you feel? Doesn't Crimson already know that?" Duncan frowned.

"Look Duncan, Crimson and I have referred to each other as Boyfriend and Girlfriend, but we haven't talked about what that means yet. I was trying to figure out how to tell her I'd like pursue a relationship beyond what we currently have." Noah explained.

"Oh, so you aren't crushing on pasty?" Duncan asked.

"No. Honestly I'm glad you had the decency to take me aside. You could have gotten Jo to show the video I'm sure." Noah said

"Nah, I get it. I guess we'd better head back to our team before they miss us." Duncan smirked. "After you."

/

All nine of the contestants are now sat on wooden bleachers. Duncan sat down next to Gwen. "So what did you need to talk to Noah about?" She asked.

"A misunderstanding, it's been cleared up." Duncan explained. In the background, Jo has her arms crossed and an annoyed look on her face.

(Confessional)

Jo: Chris chewed me out for letting Duncan get hold of my PDA. So from now on I have to be "more careful" (She rolled her eyes.)

Static

The focus moved to show Topher as he whispered to Ellody. "Have you thought about my offer?"

"I'm still considering it. When making a decision like this one must take everything into account." Ellody replied.

Topher opened his mouth, but was interrupted by a loud voice declaring, "SILENCE!" This drew the attention of all contestants to Chris, who was arriving on a one person chariot pulled by Chef, who wore a gold helmet with a red crest. The host himself was wearing a white toga and a golden laurel wreath on his head. "The score is one to one! And now, second-seat Sammy will attempt to break the tie by competing in Greco Roman Wrestling with" The host gestured to his left and the focus moved out to show they were standing outside the boxing ring from the first challenge. "Duncan!"

The focus moved to show the punk smirking. "Oh this'll be easy."

(confessional)

Duncan: Seriously, have you seen that girl? I'll have her crying before the match has even started.

Static

Sammy: Duncan. Of all people it had to be Duncan! I mean, he's kinda scary, but I can't let my team down! Not only are people counting on me, I just know Topher will comment on it if I lose.

Static

Sammy is at one end of the ring in her red bikini stretching. The focus moves to show Duncan in his dark blue swim shorts with a confident smirk on his face. The focus moves further right to show Chris smirking and pulling a rope hanging from somewhere off screen. A large glass box fell into the arena filled with multicolored balls. Those in the stands looked shocked.

The focus was placed on the pit as Duncan surfaced. "Wait. I have to wrestle her in a kiddie ball pit?"

Sammy surfaced across from him. "Uh, Chris, when was the last time these balls were washed?"

"Never, we got them from a local carnival. A really cheap skeevy one." Chris said as he bent down, he came back up with a brass horn. "Now play ball!" He blew a few notes into the horn.

The focus moved back to the pit as Duncan jumped for Sammy, the blonde shrieked and ducks into the balls. Duncan landed on nothing. He began to look around. "Now where are you?" He noticed several balls moving in a corner nearby. He smirked and launched himself towards them, diving in. Sammy leaped out and retreated to another part of the ball pit.

"Quit hiding!" Duncan said, he looked around and smirked as he spotted a dirty diaper. He threw in it the direction Sammy had jumped in. With a scream Sammy popped up in the center of the ball pit.

"Eww! Get it off me!" Sammy threw the diaper away. Her eyes widened as Duncan attacked, wrapping his arms around her stomach and throwing her across the arena. Before Sammy could recover Duncan leapt on her and held her down.

He chuckled. "You know, I bet this would be harder if I was fighting Amy, you're too nice for this."

Sammy's eyes narrowed and she threw Duncan off her. "Being nice doesn't make me weaker than Amy!" She yelled.

Duncan surfaced from the ball pit. "Okay, that's it, no more mister-"

"Mama?" Duncan looked at his hand to find a small child with curly black hair and glasses, dressed in a white shirt, red tie and slacks was in his hand. His eyes widened in shock, and Chef was lowered on the rope harness, where he picked up the child and was lifted out swifty.

Thrown off, Sammy launched herself across the pit at Duncan. When they both surfaced Sammy had her hands around his spike collar, causing him to choke. "Surrender!" She snapped,

Chris was lowered into the area on a rope harness. He listened to Duncan. The Punk managed to choke out. "Uncle."

"We have a winner!" Chris declared, and the Gaffers went wild.

Sammy helped Duncan to his feet. "So, still think Amy would be harder to fight?" She smirked.

(confessional)

Duncan: What? The kid called me mama and it threw me off my A game. Honestly all I learned from this is that both twins are crazy.

Static

Chris is walking across what is clearly the football set from earlier as he prepares to announce the next challenge. "So, as we head to the fourth and final leg of the Total Drama sports tourney, the Gaffers are ahead two to one." The five Gaffers are shown looking satisfied with themselves.

"The final face-off?" The host continued as he pulled out a basketball and the focus moved out to show they were on a fake basketball court. With a net, and a slanted trampoline. "A slam dunk competition, with points going to the most creative dunk. Let's play it for the camera! It's..." Chris tossed the ball to Alejandro who easily caught it and spun it on his finger giving Jo a cocky look. "Alejandro and Jo!"

/

All of Alejandro's team is cheering for him. The focus moved over to the Grips where Jo was scoffing at them. "Seriously, their team is mostly nerds and Topher. The fact that only Scrawny won his match is so pathetic! Lucky for you, I'm gonna tie this."

(confessional)

Jo: Okay, so my ploy to make Duncan and Noah fight didn't work out. Whatever. Once I beat Al I'll think of another way to cause drama.

Static

Alejandro smirked at everyone as he introduced his dunk. "I call this, the hoop of humiliation"

He began to walk across the court, passing the ball back and forth between his hands, dribbling the ball between his legs, then he threw the ball, it hit off the backboard, then off the bleachers where it hit, bounced off of Jo's ball into the hoop, where it bounced off the trampoline back into his hands. The Gaffers cheered as Alejandro rejoined them.

Jo scoffed. "That's nothing."

/

Jo was dribbling the ball with a smirk on her face. "I call this Al's astounding defeat." She threw the ball, where it hit off the backboard and smacked into Alejandro's chest, sending him to the ground near the hoop. Then she caught the ball and threw it at the trampoline, where it bounced up through the net, off of Topher's hair and straight towards Alejandro's face. The Spaniard let out a yelp of surprise and just managed to move out of the way.

Chris started to laugh. "Okay did you see the look on his face when the ball almost hit it?! That's totally a point to Jo and the Grips!"

Alejandro glared at Chris.

"Prepare for the Ultimate Extreme Sports Tiebreaker!" Chris announced dramatically

/

Chris is on the large screen that previously held the contestant list, a light blue background with an even lighter blue starburst overlay is behind him. "Get ready for the battle of battles," the host began. "the grudge match the world has been waiting for! A competition so intense so grueling, so..."

"So what is it already?!" Jo snapped.

Chris drove on top of the fake field with a cart pull of pink fluffy balls. He shook one. "Pom poms?!" Gwen groaned. "I was hoping to avoid this."

"Hey Sammy, cheerleading. As a cheerleader you're an expert right?" Topher smirked.

Sammy looked nervous. "S-sure."

"The tiebreaker is a cheer off between the Gaffers and Grips. Each team's gotta dig deep, and create a cheer for someone they think deserves cheering."

/

The Grips are huddled in a circle talking. The focus moves to the Gaffers in a similar position. "We should cheer for Chris!" Topher suggested. "He'll love it!"

"Hmm, a suck up attempt? It could work, but it could also backfire." Ellody pondered.

"Look I don't care if it will net us the win. I am not cheering for Chris." Amber huffed.

"Not even for me Chica?" Alejandro asked.

Amber pursed her lips. "Maybe for you…"

"Honestly we don't have to go with my idea. We could see what Sammy can come up with?" Topher smirked.

"W-well…" Sammy began.

"Time!" Chris called, holding a pom pom in each hand. "Gaffers up!"

Sammy took a deep breath and flipped across the field, she landed on her feet and began. "A-L-E, J-A-N, D-R-O, what does that spell?"

"Alejandro!" Amber called.

"Alejandro, he's our man, he always does the best he can!" Sammy cheered. "A-M-B-E-R. what does that spell?"

"Amber!" Ellody answered.

"Amber, she can really read, makes me feel like I succeed!" The blonde said with another back handspring. "E-L-L-O-D-Y! What does that spell?"

"Ellody!" Alejandro said.

"Ellody she's really smart, not only that but she's got heart!" Sammy continued with a kick. "T-O-P-H-E-R! What does that spell?"

"Topher!" Topher cheered.

"Topher he can come off mean, but he really makes a scene!" Sammy did a cartwheel. "S-A-M-M-Y! What does that spell?"

"Sammy!" The Gaffers all said.

"Together we make quite a team, as crazy as that may seem!" Sammy finished by flipping into the splits. She began to breathe heavily from exertion.

"That was great Sammy! I'd like to see the Grips beat that! Amber cheered.

The Grips began their cheer. "Go Chris. Go Chris. Go Chris. Go. He's the best we told you ."

None of the Grips had any enthusiasm in their voice. All of them were droning like they were dead inside. And Yet…

"I love it! The way you all sang in perfect unison! Like I drained you of all hope until you were lifeless zombies! It's a performance like no other! We have our winners!" Chris declared."The droning voices were a nice touch."

"Oh, yeah that was totally intentional." Duncan smirked.

"Losers, I'll see you in the theater!" Chris told the Gaffers.

"I knew we should have cheered for Chris." Topher said, looking pointedly at Sammy. The blonde gulped.

/

The stage with the two giant Chris statues is shown as spotlights wave in front of it. A series of clips featuring Chris from last season ,several of them just him talking, roll over the screen in two parallel lines, a vertical line of clips include one where Chris is dress as a pirate rolls down between them, as two more clips, one of Chris in a helicopter and one of him with a clapboard, move out to either side, the focus zooms out to show a giant gilded Chris as fireworks go for in the screen flashes to the actual amphitheater where the Gaffers are sitting on the wooden bleachers.

"So the Gaffer's have lost yet again." Chris said as the focus shifted to the stage where Chris was wearing a powder blue tux, and Chef in his hot pink dress. "Must be tough, especially when you're all so close." The focus is on Amber glaring at Topher, and Topher smirking at Sammy. Showing the opposite to be true. "Ellody, you lost to Noah of all people!"

"Given we are around the same in physical prowess it was likely." Ellody replied.

"Alejandro nearly got his face dented in." Chris laughed.

"You wouldn't be laughing if it was your face." Alejandro huffed.

"Topher, you've been trying to stir up trouble." The host continued.

"That's what the show is all about." Topher smirked.

"And Sammy, some people, Topher, still have problems with your supposed alliance." Chris finished. "I'd say most of you could go home, but the gilded Chris awards go to Amber," The bookworm caught her prize. "Alejandro, and Topher." The other two caught their prizes.

The two girls were shown in split screen, both nervous. The moment of truth was held out for several seconds. "And the final Gilded Chris goes to…

…

…

…

"...Sammy." The twin caught her award in shock.

(confessional)

Sammy: I voted for Ellody, but I didn't think she'd go home.

Static

Alejandro: The choice was obvious. Ellody lost her challenge and she's the one who's loyalty I can't pinpoint.

Static

Amber: Alejandro wanted her to go… I feel like scum.

Static

Topher: I voted for Sammy. Too bad it didn't work.

Static

Ellody walked down the walk of shame but before she entered the car both Sammy and Amber ran to her side and hugged her. "I'm gonna miss you! Sorry I voted you out!" Amber said.

"I just didn't want to go home!" Sammy explained.

"Worry not, I completely understand. The odds of me winning were low to begin with. At least got some good friends out of it." Ellody said.

All three girls hugged again and Ellody moved to get in the limo. "Tell Harold hi for me." Amber said.

"I will relay your greetings." The genius smiled, closing the door behind her.

/

Chris is in the boxing ring wearing gloves. Chef standing next to him in the purple bikini from earlier with pink gloves on his hands. "And so Topher votes against his alliance a second time! How's that for a sucker punch of an ending?!" Chris began punching towards Chef. "Will Alejandro find out? Are Duncan and Gwen gonna kiss? Am I gonna knock big ol' Chef out with my killer uppercut?" The cook hit Chris over the head and knocked him over easily. As he walked off, Chris closed out the episode. "Find out next time, on Total Drama Action!"

(Bonus clip)

Ellody is sitting in the lame-o-sine. "Honestly, I kind of saw it coming. I was the odd one out of my team. Besides, there are other ways to make money. I can write a novel about reality TV and the effects that fame can have on a person."

" Perhaps I could ask the other contestants for their experiences. If I can get a hold of them." Someone talks off screen. "An Aftermath? Excellent, I'll be able to interview a wide array of people. I may even be able to write an extra few chapters on the aftermath itself.

Chapter Text

The recap begins with a distance view of the film lot. "Last time on Total Drama Action! The contestants are shown running across the football field set, then they are shown pushing Chef, Noah and Ellody fighting in the boxing ring, then Sammy and Duncan fighting in the ballpit. "It was a festival of guts, determination, and sweat, as yours truly put our contestants through their sports movie paces!"

Duncan is shown picking up Jo's PDA Noah and Duncan are shown talking, then Topher is shown talking to Ellody. Ellody's elimination was shown with Topher's confessional, then Amber and Sammy hugging Ellody goodbye is shown. "Jo attempted to make Duncan and Noah fight but the two talked it out instead. Boring. What wasn't boring was Topher's attempt to use Ellody to get rid of Sammy, and the fact that he voted against his own alliance again. Ellody was sent packing, but not before having a moment with her friends."

Chris is shown in the security room. "But Topher's betrayal won't be the only subterfuge today." He hits a button and the screen displays a black background winding to a white circle. "We're gonna make the best spy movie ever!" Chris is shown in the white circle of the background wearing his powder blue tux. "And we might have a few sneaky surprises along the way," The host threw a tomato at the screen and when the juice cleared Chris was in front of the trailers as per usual. " Right here, on Total! Drama! Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The focus is on a fly ridden sandwich before moving out to show Duncan as the one holding it, and everyone else is sitting on the benches between the trailers. He sits down next to Noah. The cynic raises a brow. "You aren't gonna eat that are you?"

"Why not? Chef's made worse food." Duncan said, taking a bite. "Hey, I've been thinking I made a mistake assuming things last challenge, and you made a mistake making two alliances. I'd say that makes us even."

"I still don't consider what I did a mistake, but sure." Noah said.

Jo's eyes narrowed.

(Confessional)

Jo: And now my sabotage attempt made them make up? Being a mole is harder than I thought.

Static

On the bench with the Gaffers, Amber is giving Topher a suspicious look. "What?" The blonde said.

"Strange that Ellody would vote for Sammy of all people, considering their friendship." Amber pointed out.

"Maybe she just decided it was the most logical choice." Topher replied without breaking a sweat. "Besides, we should be happy. The merge has got to be soon."

Amber sighed and the focus moved to Sammy trying to get into the girl's trailer. "Come on! I left something in there!" She groaned. "This is giving me flashbacks to all the times Amy locked me out of my room."

A small camera like device lowered itself from the trailer's awning and Scanned the twin's face."Intruder alert! Entry denied!" Before Sammy could react the steps leading to the trailer turned into a slide and Sammy fell into a pit that opened in the ground.

Alejandro rushed to the pit. "Sammy?" He was hit in the neck with a tranquilizer dart.

"Alejandro!" Both Amber and Topher gasped, running to the pit. A black bowler hat flew into the two knocking both into the pit.

All the Grips gasped. "Run!" Duncan said. They all ran for the boy's trailer across the area. Noah lagged behind a bit and ended up locked out.

Inside the trailer Gwen was breathing hard. "Are the producers insane?!"

"You've seen enough of this show to know the answer." Duncan replied.

(Confessional)

Noah: Well, looks like Chris finally lost it. I knew his masochistic tendencies would killer me eventually. (A hand from off screen clubs Noah over the head, knocking him out.)

Static

"Where's Noah?" Gwen asked.

"Probably been knocked out like the others." Duncan said nonchalantly.

"The producers wouldn't kill us right? I mean it'd be really bad press for the show if all the contestants died." Gwen said.

Duncan cupped her cheek. "I promise pasty, I won't let that happen." The two stood there and began to move in for a kiss.

The focus moved to Jo who scoffed. "You're making your love nest now?"

A smoke bomb flew threw the window filling the trailer with knockout gas. Before Duncan and Gwen could actually kiss they passed out. The gas finally reached Jo, who managed to flip the camera off before she went.

/

The warehouses are briefly shown before the focus moves skyward, when it comes back down we see hanging lights followed by the cast all knocked out in a cave set. Sammy, Alejandro, Amber and Topher have all ended up in a tangled heap. Noah and Jo are by themselves and Gwen has landed on top of Duncan. When she came to, she gasped.

"Morning Pasty." Duncan said with a smirk. Gwen quickly pushed herself to her feet.

"Uh, so that was." She rubbed the back of her head. "I mean." She blushed.

"You don't have to explain yourself. I know I'm magnetic." Duncan bragged.

Gwen ribbed him playfully. "Don't oversell yourself."

"I'm not." The punk said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"This whole will they/won't they thing has gotten trite don't you think?" A droll voice remarked, the focus moved left to show it was Noah.

"That's one way of putting it." Jo scoffed, picking up her PDA from the ground quickly. Noah gave her a suspicious look.

The focus moved further left to the pile of four and Amber were on top. "Topher, get off me!" Amber complained.

"Will you both get off me?" Alejandro said as the focus moved down the pile.

"That would be nice." Sammy said from the bottom.

The four untangled themselves.

A projector in the wall of the cave turned on showing Chris in the security room, sporting an eyepatch and petting a white cat. He laughed evilly. "Welcome, to the cloak and dagger, world of Spy Movies, man and woman!" He said in a butchered accent.

"Dude, what's with the bad Jamaican accent?" Duncan asked.

"Duncan, it's clearly a Scottish accent." Gwen chuckled.

"No, French!" Jo argued.

"Latvian." Noah said. Everyone looked at him strangely. "What? It's a country."

"Guys, It's a Russian accent." Topher said confidently.

"Thank you Topher, it's nice to see someone knows I'm an actor." Chris smirked.

"Whatever." Amber rolled her eyes.

"Any good spy in any good spy movie must have three essential skills," The upper left corner of the screen was covered with a dynamite bomb and a pair of wire cutters over an orange and gold streaked background. "One, the ability to deactivate a bomb." The lower right corner of the screen was covered with an exploding skyscraper that the silhouette of a person was jumping from, with a yellow and green starburst background. The host ducked into the bottom left corner. "And three, the ability to fake an accent that makes people believe you actually speak the language," Chris moved his head to the upper right corner of the screen as lower left was replaced by a standard picture of him. "Like my fab Russian accent, mon!" He said in the terrible accent from earlier.

An unimpressed Noah, Duncan, Gwen, and Jo are briefly shown, then Sammy, Amber, Alejandro, and Topher are shown. Also unimpressed save Topher. As the host continued. Without his accent. "You'll need to two of the three skills to get through today's reward challenges,"

The focus shifted back to Chris. "Can you guess which two? Let me give you a hint!" He switched back to his terrible russian accent. "Not the third one man!" Chris began to laugh evilly again.

"Um, do any of you know about bombs?" Sammy asked the rest of the Gaffers.

"Only what I've read in fiction novels, and I sincerely doubt it's as easy as cutting the green wire." Amber replied.

"With your shaky fingers I wouldn't want to leave you in charge of that anyway." Topher said.

Behind them Alejandro rolls his eyes.

(Confessional)

Alejandro: What none of my teammates seems to have realized is we don't have to know how to disarm a real bomb. Just how you disarm one using spy movie logic.

Static

"Keep Jo away from the bombs, with her impatience she'd get us all killed." Noah told his teammates.

"Bombs have time limits Scrawny! By the time you made a decision we'd be dead." Jo retorted.

"Oh," Chris interrupted as the focus shifted back to the projection of him. "one last thing! Since I'm really ho-hum bored of the teams, I'm bustin' 'em up! From now on, it's every dude and dude-ette for themselves! I'll see you back on solid ground. Let the double-oh-sevening...begin!" Just before the projection went out the white cat Chris had been petting attacked him.

Immediately, Alejandro turned to his teammates. "I see no reason why we should not continue to work together. I do hope you will stick by me."

"Of course I will." Amber smiled.

"Yeah, you're the best player in the game. Obviously I want to be on your side." Topher said.

"Well, if you'll have me." Sammy whispered.

The focus shifted to Noah and Jo. "Listen I'm not saying we need to be in an alliance or anything, but with the Brady Bunch over there and ' painfully obvious romantic tension', I think we need to consider working together."

"Fine by me." Jo shrugged.

(Confessional)

Topher: I think I've already made it clear I'm willing to vote against my alliance should an opportunity arise, but they don't need to know that.

Static

Noah: Jo was really protective when she saw her PDA was where someone could get to it. Something is up with that. The best way to find out what it is, is to team up with her. And if it helps me get further in the game so much the better.

Static

Jo: I don't really need Scrawny to get further, but I don't want to come off as too strong.

Static

"So, how do we get out of here anyway?" Gwen asked.

"There's probably a hidden door somewhere." Duncan said. "Listen for anything hollow."

The contestants spread out and began to knock on things. Bored, Noah leaned up against a rock and an elevator opened in the wall. "Found it." He said

"Hey Scrawny, your laziness came in handy for once." Jo chuckled as she and the others made their way inside the elevator. Noah entered last and the elevator doors shut.

/

The focus moved from the base to the top of a water tower. The ding associated with elevators went off as the focus moved inside to show a wide circular room with pillars spaced out evenly around the circumference, in its center lay a bag of something or other placed under a glass bell jar.

"Cool." Duncan remarked.

"Killer." Gwen added.

"This is like one of those fancy museums." Amber gasped.

The wall projected Chris once again, now sans eyepatch, this time the scene was tinted a light blue. "Don't I look awesome in blue?" He said rhetorically "Now, for the first part of the spy movie challenge. See that case in the middle of the room?" He pointed to the glass bell jar as the focus was placed on it. "You have to get whatever's inside, 'cause you're gonna need it for part two of the challenge!"

"No problemo easy smash and grab." Duncan said confidently. As he pass one of the pillars a laser shot out of it bouncing off of several mirror place throughout the room, one nearly hit the punk.

Chris cleared his throat. "I need to finish! You gotta get whatever's inside without setting off the alarm. But be careful, those lasers will cut you clear in half!"

"What? But I'm already a twin, I don't wanna be a triplet!" Sammy gasped.

"Worry not Sammy. We can do this if we work together." Alejandro said.

"Right, we'll figure it out. Even if I have to work with Topher." Amber swallowed.

/

Amber and Topher were now caught between a number of lasers looking like they were in a game of twister. "This is all your fault!" Topher snapped.

"My fault?! You're the one who said we should duck under the previous laser!" Amber protested.

"Well you had us step over that laser two steps ago I think that's the one that got us in this mess." The blonde huffed. Alejandro was still at the edge of the laser grid.

Sammy meanwhile had yet to step in the lasers, looking at them nervously. "Alejandro, how can I help you guys?"

"Perhaps the lasers will turn off once someone gets to the prize." The Spaniard suggested, as he said this another laser shot out burning off a piece of hair. Alejandro swore in Spanish.

Sammy moved back and took a deep breath. Then she began to flip through some of the lasers.

Noah was slowly maneuvering through the lasers. "Wow Scrawny, your skinny body's actually useful in this challenge. Jo said as she ducked under a laser.

Gwen had bent down on the floor and was inching along in a way that accentuated her butt. Behind her Duncan was struggling to focus as he kept staring. "Nice assets." He smirked with an emphasis on the front half.

"Duncan! We need to focus!" Gwen protested, her face turning red.

"Oh, I'm focused alright." The punk chuckled. Gwen not so accidently kicked him in the face. Duncan sighed happily. "I like a girl with moxie."

Back with Noah and Jo the two are about halfway to the bell jar. "This is kinda fun." Jo laughed.

"For you maybe, I'm still waiting for this to backfire." Noah said as he crawled under a few lasers."

"Why are you so pessimistic all the time?" The jockette asked.

"When the sociopath known as Chris is in charge of your life, it's not pessimism. It's Realism." The cynic explained.

"Whatever." Jo looked ahead. "Huh, Tweedle Dumb's got moves."

The focus briefly shifted to Sammy rolling under a laser, before moving back to Noah and Jo. "She is a cheerleader. That requires a lot of athleticism. Especially if you lift other cheerleaders up."

"Please, cheerleading? Requires athleticism?" Jo scoffed.

The focus moved to Sammy as she dove between two lasers and flipped over a third to land on her feet. Back with Jo her mouth was hanging open.

"You were saying?" Noah retorted.

"Okay?" The focus moved to Sammy once again as she had reached the center. "So how do I open it?"

"Grab whatever's around and smash it open." Duncan commented from where he was. "Case probably isn't armed since the lasers are protecting it."

"I wouldn't count on that." Amber said from where she and Topher were still stuck.
"It's Chris we're talking about."

"Sure, but he also wants us to get there in good time. Remember this show is here to entertain people." Topher said.

The focus shifted back to Sammy. "That doesn't help much."

"If you won't break it open I'll do it myself!" Jo said, the focus shifting out to show she had reached the middle as well. She punched the glass and it shattered,causing all the lasers in the room to disappear.

(Confessional)

Sammy: I was too indecisive! Amy says that's one of my worst qualities. Actually, Amy says all my qualities are my worst but…

Static

Jo was rummaging around in the bag as all the other contestants gathered around. She pulled out a gun with a hook and wire cutters. "What am I supposed to do with these?

"That's a grappling gun." Noah noted. "Didn't Chris say something about escaping an exploding building?

The wall projected Chris into the room in red light. "The room blows in ten," In the lower right corner of the projection a countdown began. "Seven, six, five-"

Topher and Amber wrapped their arms around Alejandro immediately. "At least we're together." The bookworm said.

"I'm gonna miss you!" The blonde said.

Out of fear, Sammy huddled against Noah. "I guess Amy will be happy she lived longer than me." The cynic looked unsure how to react but patted her shoulder lightly.

Gwen hugged Duncan. "I love you."

"I know." The punk replied.

Jo was shown looking for an exit.

"Three, two,one." The projection now showed a skull and crossbones before the light changed to blue and Chris was shown on screen laughing. "Suckers! You shoulda seen the looks on your faces!"

The eight contestants gave him a flat look, but the focus was on Gwen and Duncan. "Oh come on!" Duncan protested.

Gwen was now blushing as she slowly moved away.

(confessional)

Gwen: I love you? Of all the corny things to say! I mean I thought I was dying okay? Give me a break!

Static

Duncan: At this point even I am getting tired of the Romantic tension between Pasty and I. I gotta make my move. You know after the challenge is over.

Static

Chris is still being projected from the wall as he explains. "You'll need the zipwire gun and the wire cutters for the next spy challenge." The focus moved to Jo as she looked at the tools she'd gotten from the bag. " Whether or not our smash and grab jockette wants to share her tools with the tool is totally up to her." Jo smirked and the focus moved back to Chris.

"And by the way! The first countdown was just a test! The real countdown begins, now!" The light from the projector turned red once more as a counter in the bottom right corner begins to count down from thirty. "Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight-"

"No way! Chris is gonna let us die?!" Sammy gasped.

"He wouldn't! We're too important!" Topher protested.

"Seriously? He just faked us out. What makes you think he actually intends to blow us up this time?" Alejandro asked.

The focus moves outside and down to the base of the water tower where an assortment of explosives lie.

"Well I don't feel like finding out!" Gwen said.

"The zipline gun can get us out of here." Noah said. "But it needs something to hook on to."

Amber was pushing around the wall of the tower, and managed to open a small door in the wall. She looked out. "Would that work?" Everyone gathered around the door as the focus moved out to show a nearby warehouse.

"So long as Jo aims the gun right." The cynic deadpanned.

"What are you waiting for then? Shoot the gun" Duncan ordered.

"Whoa, I don't take orders." Jo scoffed. "And besides Chris said I didn't have to share my zipline."

"Are you crazy?!" Amber snapped.

"Maybe. Maybe not. You wanna find out?" Jo smirked.

"What do you want? You clearly have something in mind." Alejandro said.

The jockette's smirk widened. "Oh, nothing big. Just half the prize money if you win."

"What?!" Every other contestant screamed.

A paused symbol appeared on screen and Chris stepped in front of it. "This is why Jo is the perfect kind of mole. She's nasty. I love nasty." The host said, rubbing his hands together. He stepped away and the show footage resumed.

"Okay! If you save us!" Sammy cried.

"...Fine." Amber muttered.

Duncan nodded and Topher agreed.

Gwen was not convinced. "I'm not gonna let you blackmail us into giving up anything!" Gwen said.

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?" Jo asked. " I'm stronger, faster and smarter than all of you. The only way to get out is with this gun and I have it, so-"

At that moment Alejandro, who was now behind Jo, pushed her to the floor and took the grapple gun. Gwen smirked. "Trick the villain into a monologue while your ally sneaks up behind them. Classic spy movie trope."

"Nice work Pasty." Duncan complimented.

Alejandro shot the gun out the door and the focus followed it as it bounced across the building, over the side, then back up to hook one a small overhang. Back in the water tower Alejandro is tying the wire to a pillar.

"How are we all gonna escape with one zipline?" Noah asked.

"No problem." Alejandro unbuckled his belt to use in place of a T-bar. "Grab on! Andele!"

"I love it when you speak Spanish." Amber sighed.

"Don't mind if I do!" Topher cheered, leaping onto Alejandro.

/

The beeping sound of the counter counting down can be heard as the focus shifted outside to show Alejandro hanging from his belt as the rest of the contestant clung on for dear life. Naturally it was not a smooth landing, with Gwen landing on top of Duncan for the second time that day, Noah's face slamming into the building, Amber being flung across to nearly fall off. Topher, Alejandro and Sammy landing next to each other, and Jo's back hitting against the building.

Sammy plugged her ears. "It's gonna blow!"

The focus shifted to the bottom of the water tower where all the explosives lay. The fuse reached its end…and snuffed out in a puff of smoke.

"He was faking us out again?!" Gwen yelled, the focus moving out to show all the contestants had righted themselves.

"Isn't psychological torture fun?" Noah deadpanned.

"As if we have the budget to blow up an entire building!" Chris explained as the focus moved right to show him leaning against something covered in a green tarp. "I was just playing with ya! Again. Because I can,"

"I'm going to develop ulcers with this kind of stress!" Amber snapped.

"You mean you haven't already?" Topher smirked.

"Okay, kiddies!" Chris said. "Time for the next super-sleuth challenge!" He removed the green tarp he'd been leaning against to reveal eight identical oil drums with wires and an LCD timer. "In front of you, you will see eight bombs. You will have to deactivate the bombs with only the tools you got from the last challenge – the wire cutters. Oh, wait!" Chris gasped as though just remembering. "Wasn't Jo the only one who got the wire cutters?"

The jockette smugly clipped the wire cutters as everyone glared at her.

Chris chuckled. " Well, I guess everybody else will just have to find their own way of cuttin' the wires. Sucks to be you! Any questions?"

"Do we have any instructions?" Amber asked.

"Why should we believe you actually gave us a way to defuse these bombs?" Alejandro asked.

"We're not actually in danger of dying right?" Sammy asked nervously.

"Are you mental?" Noah smirked.

"Cool, if there are no questions, then what are we waiting for?" The host said as he moved several feet away. "Oh yeah! A one more thing! Those barrels are filled with the most stinky, the most noxious substances known to human kind! Yeah, that's right, we're talking major stinkbombs."

"Can't stink more than your acting." Duncan smirked.

"Yo chef!" Chris called, ignoring Duncan's comment as the cook arrived on a lift, he had a red and white sweatband and tennis shirt and shorts. He was holding a red racket. He looked annoyed as he joined the Host on the roof.

"Why can't you handle this?" The cook grumped, flipping a switch on one of the bombs to set them all off. He joined Chris on the lift. As they descended from the building the host continued. ""Good luck, 'cause this time, you're really gonna need it."

The eight contestants were now each behind one of the bombs. The Focus began with the far right where Gwen is standing. "Okay, we have three wires. Red, yellow and blue." She turned to Duncan. "Any idea how to defuse this thing? I assume you have experience with stink bombs?"

"Sure the small kind, besides I set them off, I don't defuse them." Duncan said.

Then the focus moved to Topher, Amber, and Alejandro. "I have to defuse this thing. Who knows what that stink could do to my hair?"

"Nothing you haven't done to it yourself." The bookworm smirked.

"We need to focus." Alejandro told them before Topher could retort.

"But what wire do we cut? Or what if it's a combination of wires?" Sammy asked, from beside Alejandro.

Finally the focus was on Noah and Jo. "Scrawny, you got any ideas on how to defuse this thing?"

"Maybe, but I won't share them with you. You tried to extort money from me!" Noah snapped.

"I'll share my wire cutters." Jo offered.

"Deal." Noah said.

The focus moved back to Gwen. "Okay usually in movies cutting the red wire sets the bomb off, since this is Chris, maybe it defuses it instead. As some kind of attempt at irony?"

"Better than any idea I have." Duncan nodded, handing her his knife. Gwen cut the red wire and her timer stopped.

"Yes!" The goth cheered, hugging Duncan close.

"Pasty not that I mind, but I need to defuse mine now." The punk pointed out.

"Right," she said, handing him back his knife which Duncan used to cut his wire.

The Focus moved left to Amber, Topher, Sammy, and Alejandro. "Okay so we cut the red wire?" Sammy asked.

"I don't know, it seems too easy." Amber frowned.

"Besides, if I know Chris, he's not gonna give us all the same solution." Topher said.

"Perhaps we should try it and see if our bombs stop counting down? " Alejandro suggested.

"What if that sets them off?" Topher asked.

"Amigo, they are going off in less than a minute anyway." The Spaniard pointed out.

"Okay, but how do we cut them?" Sammy frowned.

"I have my library card in my pocket." Amber said pulling it out. "Maybe with enough pressure the edge will cut it." The bookworm tried it and the wire broke. She handed her card to Sammy who did the same. Alejandro tore his wire in half, and Topher pulled out a pair of nail clippers and cut it with them. All four looked at their bombs. They were still counting down.

"No dice! And we have thirty seconds left!" Sammy cried.

"We may as well try randomly then." Topher decided.

The focus returned to Jo and Noah. "Okay I'm pretty sure I've got it."

"Great, you try it first." Jo said handing the wire cutters to him. Noah snipped all three of his wires. His bomb stopped. "Sweet! Now let me!" Jo cut all three of her wires and her bomb stopped too.

The focus shifted back to Gwen and Duncan. "We did it! Take that Chris!" Duncan Cheered.

Gwen's eyes widened. "Duncan your bomb's still counting down!"

Duncan's eyes shot open. "Crud."

The focus moved to a hill somewhere else on the film lot. In the background a huge gaseous orange cloud rose over it prompting coughing. The focus moved left over a set of standing lights to show Chris was sitting in his director chair and sipping his tea. "What?Obviously we're not gonna wire each bomb exactly the same way, That would be way too easy for our production crew! And no fun for me!" The host laughed.

/

A squirrel is sitting on the branch of a tree holding an acorn with a noxious smell line reaches it. It falls off the branch over the trailer roof and into a pool of tomato soup where we can see Duncan, Gwen, and Sammy standing. The goth chuckled. "This sucks, but at least we're in this together."

"Speaking of together, I've been thinking it over and we make a great team. So I was wondering if you'd be my girl?" Duncan asked.

"Yes! A thousand times yes!" The goth cheered, kissing the punk happily in spite of the stink.

"It's about time." The focus moved out to show all eight contestants in the tomato soup bath. The speaker is Topher. "Seriously much longer and the audience would have gotten bored."

"I smell so bad." Sammy sighed.

"Look on the right side Amiga, tomatoes are good for the complexion." Alejandro said.

As Chef passed he said. "Glad you like it, cause it's also dinner." He tossed several straws into the soup. Amber, Jo, and Noah picked them up.

"So Scrawny, how'd you figure out what we needed to do to defuse our bombs?" Jo asked.

"Simple, knowing the production crew is overworked, I figured they'd take any shortcuts the could. Like not setting any of the wires to explode the bomb upon breaking. So we could cut all three wires without fear of consequence, guaranteeing we'd disable them." Noah explained.

"I'm not gonna pretend to understand that, just glad it worked." The jockette said.

"Everybody having fun yet?" Chris asked as he arrived, wearing a gas mask. "Jo and Gwen as the winners of our first and second challenge-"

"I defused my bomb too!" Noah protested.

"Gwen did it first, no prize for second place Noah." Chris taunted. The cynic folded his arms.

"Anyway, " The host continued. "Gwen and Jo you get the reward. An all-expense paid trip to..."

"Mexico, America, Iceland?" Jo asked randomly.

"The London torture museum?" Gwen asked. Everyone gave her an odd look "What?"

"Nice try but no." Chris said. "It's an all-expense paid trip to...a local cheese factory!

Gwen rolled her eyes but Jo seemed fine with it. "While on tour," the host continued "You'll get to sample all the cheeses of the world! From blue cheese, to green cheese, to head cheese, which isn't technically a cheese, but reeks just the same!"

"Hey Pasty you gotta bring me back some jalapeno cheddar." Duncan asked.

"Sure." Gwen said.

"So how long do we have to stay in this bath?" Noah asked.

"Oh I'd say twelve hours will do." Chris said as he walked off.

/

Chris is taking off his gas mask as he begins to wrap up the episode. "Teams are no more. Let's see how these stinkers do on their own,next time, on Total! Drama! Action!" Just before the episode ended, the white cat from earlier attacked Chris' face yet again.

Chapter Text

A distance shot of the entire film is shown as the recap begins. "Last time on Total Drama Action!" The projection of Chris with the eyepatch and cat, as well as everyone's reaction to it was shown. Then Alejandro making his alliance with Amber, Sammy, and Topher, after this, Sammy flipping through lasers is shown, followed by Jo breaking the bell jar, and Gwen hugging Duncan as the fake countdown went on. "It was every dude and dudette for themselves, as the teams were busted up. But that didn't stop Alejandro from making an alliance from the four Gaffers. Sammy surprised everyone with her athleticism, but since Jo was the one to break the glass she won the challenge. Meanwhile Duncan and Gwen confessed their feelings for each other."

Alejandro is shown sliding down the zip line to escape the building. Then Chris sipping tea as an explosion went off in the distance is shown, Then everyone is shown in the tomato soup bath. "The cast made it out of a fake exploding building,but failed to defuse some serious stink bombs. Forcing them to de-stink in tomato juice baths!" The host let out a happy sigh. "I love my job!" Jo and Gwen are shown in the Lame-O-sine, both were glaring at each other. "In the end Jo and Gwen won the fabulous reward,a trip to the local stinky cheese factory!"

The four Gaffers are shown on screen, each in a separate segment. Alejandro in the upper left corner against a blue background, Sammy to his right against a gold background, Amber below Alejandro on a tan background, and Topher on a purple background. Then it shifted to Noah and Jo against a gray background on the left, with Gwen and Duncan against a green one on the right. And ending with Chris at the trailers to close out the usual segment."Will the Gaffer alliance hold together? What about our two duos? All this on today's episode of,Total. Drama. Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The episode opened with the remaining four guys exiting the crafts and service tent. Duncan is chomping down on cheese, the crumbs of which are spraying towards Noah who's face remains neutral. "Enjoying the gift you got from your girlfriend?" He deadpanned.

"Oh Hell yes. This jalapeno cheddar is great." Duncan said, not bothering to stop eating.

"Will you at least chew with your mouth closed?" Alejandro tried not to gag.

"Yeah, I don't need your dribble all over me." Topher agreed.

"Lighten up you two." Duncan scoffed.

"Yeah, you can't expect a slovenly deadbeat to be polite." Noah added.

"I don't know what that means but I know it's an insult." The punk glared.

"Oh, so you do have a brain." The cynic smirked.

"You need some street smarts to survive in juvie. Which means you wouldn't last a day." Duncan retorted.

"Will you two cease this passive aggressive bickering?" Alejandro asked.

"Topher's more likely to stop being your fanboy before that happens." Noah chuckled.

"Yeah, that's not happening any time soon." Duncan agreed.

/

The girl's trailer is briefly shown before it cuts inside. Jo is happily eating a block of Pepper jack. The focus shifted to Amber as she groans. "I forgot Jo has all the manners of a pig."

"You're just jealous I got to go to a cheese factory." The jockette scoffed.

"I kinda am. I mean I was so close to the case! I thought that'd count for something." Sammy sighed.

"Personally I think it does, so I brought you guys some gouda." The goth said, taking a block of cheese from her pocket.

./

The boys are now in the bathroom brushing their teeth. "Seriously though, I'm surprised Topher hasn't burst into flames from how hot you make him." Duncan chuckled.

"There's nothing wrong with thinking another man is attractive!" Topher protested, then he gasped. "In a completely platonic way!"

Noah rolled his eyes. "We're not making fun of you liking men, we're making fun of your taste in men."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Alejandro glared.

"I think you know full well how I mean it." Noah smirked.

/

The girls are now all sat at a table inside their trailer snacking. "Thanks for sharing your prize Gwen." Sammy said.

"No problem, I was bringing back cheese for Duncan anyway." The goth shrugged.

"Speaking of which, how does it feel to finally be past all the awkwardness?" Amber smirked.

Gwen sighed happily. "Amazing."

/

All of the boys are now in their beds. "So what? You think Duncan has better taste?"

"Gwen's got a decent personality." Noah replied.

"Implying that I do not?" Alejandro frowned

"Dude, with your ego I'm surprised you even care what Noah thinks." Duncan yawned.

/

The focus moved outside of the trailers and up to the full moon, the sky transitions to day time indicating a passage of time. A high pitched scream rang through the air, and a flash transition revealed it to be Chef hanging from a cord and wearing a pink dress with a floral collar and hem, as well as some pink flats. The focus moves out to show all eight contestants are there, still in their pajamas, with a half asleep Noah being dragged by Duncan.

"Umm, five more minutes…" The cynic moaned with a yawn.

"Where are we?" Sammy yawned as the focus moved out to show they were on a city set.

"And who thought that was a good look for Chef?" Gwen deadpanned.

The focus shifted up to a spotlight, silhouetting a figure with batlike ears atop a building. The figured jumped off and new lighting revealed it was Chris wearing a batman esque mask and a matching cape. He swung to catch Chef, but the newly added weight of the cook caused the cord he was attached to to snap, sending both to the ground.

Chris stood up his normally perfectly kept hair a mess as he complained. "I knew that bungee wouldn't hold! That's what happens when production cheaps out! And now my hair is all mussed up!" He pointed at his head as Chef dazedly stood up next to him.

"Are you planning to tell us why you've gathered us here with that pathetic display?" Alejandro scoffed.

"When I feel like it!" Chris snapped as he fixed his hair. Once it was back in place he resumed his host smile. "And now I feel like it. Today's challenges are inspired by the superhero flick!"

"What do you mean today's challenges? I haven't even had time to shower." Sammy complained.

"Or brush my hair." Topher added.

"I'm going back to bed. Well I will if Noah lets go of my arm." The punk glared, as the focus moved out to reveal Noah had grabbed Duncan's arm in an attempt to remain upright. The punk shook him off and Noah fell to the ground, still pretty much asleep.

"Evil never sleeps," Chris retorted. "and neither will you! Besides, superheroes don't do the things of mere mortals! They have screaming ladies to rescue!" Chef is briefly shown fanning himself in mock excitement.

"Actually several heroes and villains are no more than mere mortals. You were just dressed as BatPerson. What's his superpower being rich?" Gwen scoffed.

"That does give you an advantage in life." Amber pointed out.

"You make a point.": Gwen nodded.

"Yeah? Well how would like to be on the receiving end of BatPerson's tech?" Chris asked. Gwen backed off. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Now shut it!"

"There are three things intrinsic to all good superhero movies," The host began. "One: superheroes have super powers. Two: superheroes save people. And my personal favorite, three: superheroes wear tights." Jo, Duncan, Sammy, Topher, and a just barely standing up Noah are shown. Which means, you will all be wearing teensy-tiny tights!" Sammy seemed okay with this while Jo, Duncan, and Topher protested. Noah just yawned.

"Why are you all in your PJs?" Chris scowled. "Get dressed and meet me back

on set at superhero speed. Which means, you should already be back here! And make sure to wear something that goes with brightly-hued spandex!"

/

The boys are shown walking back to the trailer, Noah's barely putting one foot in front of the other. "Okay, I know you're not a morning person, but why are you so tired?": Duncan asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Noah groaned.

(confessional)

Noah:So Chef made us burritos last night, and I made the mistake of eating one. Do you know how hard it is to sleep through bloating? Beans never sit well with me.
Static

/

The girls are shown walking towards their trailer as well. "So what's Jo's superpower, being obnoxious?" Amber scoffed.

"Better than yours which is being lame." Jo retorted.

"I wonder how Duncan's doing?" Gwen thought.

(Confessional)

Jo: Okay, so Stuncan is a good player, So's Gwen, a power couple could really be a problem. I need to talk with Scrawny about this.

Static

A distance shot of the film lot is briefly shown before the focus moved to the city portion and a flash transition takes us back to the city set. Chris stands before the contestants, who are now standing by eight sewing machines in a row. Several trash cans of fabric stand to Chris' right.

"For your first challenge," the host began, "each of you will create your own superhero identity."

"Nice." Gwen smirked.

"You'll make your own superhero costume using nothing but your fertile imagination," Chris continued "and tons of spandex!" The cans full of spandex are briefly shown before a beeping sound prompts the focus to out, revealing Chef has arrived with a dump truck, which dumped a pile of junk on to the ground. " And some other junk! You'll be judged on originality and style of costume,how rocking your superpower is, and how cool your superhero name is! Top score wins an advantage in the next round. Chef will, of course, play the supervillain. which let's face it, won't be much of a stretch."

A green circular insignia with a radioactive yellow ring around the edge and an snake head in the same color transitioned to show Chef in a green costume with the same insignia on the chest with darker green boots and a viperous hood in the same shade. To his left is an orange cat with a green mask on. "Meet, Pythonicus!" the host declared. "And his sidekick kitty, Dander Boy! They will sabotage you at every turn."

"Any questions?" Chris asked Everyone raised a hand. ""No? Perfect! Aaaannnd, action!"

"I want that black one!" Gwen called.

"No way! I wanna use black!" Jo argued grabbing the same roll.

(Confessional)

Gwen: Sometimes I swear Jo just wants to cause trouble.

Static

The Jockette stomped on Gwen's foot and ran off with the roll of spandex. "Later loser!" She called back.

/

The insignia of Pythonicus transitions to Sammy working on a pair of white leggings, The focus shifted left to where Pythocius is holding Dander Boy by the scruff of the neck. He throws the cat and the focus follows it to Sammy's leggings, whereupon the feline began to scratch the leggings apart.

The insignia of Pythonicus flashed on screen again. Gwen is at the pile of junk holding a faux fur boa made to look like a black cat. , green clad arm of the super villain reached down and grabbed it from her hands, the sounds of something being torn up can be heard.

The insignia of Pythonicus flashed on screen. Amber is working with green spandex on the sewing machine. The focus pulled back to shown Pythonicus dropping a scrap of red fabric on to it. It went through the sewing machine and Amber immediately noticed, frowning at the super villain.

The insignia of Pythonicus flashed on screen and Topher is shown affixing a large golden microphone pin on to his suit. He turns and Pythonicus takes the pin and replaces it with a gold pin shaped like a dollar sign instead. Topher looks at the pin and shrugs.

The insignia of Pythonicus flashed on screen. Duncan is leaning against the table with the sewing machines doing nothing but rubbing two fingers together. Pythonicus looked back and forth and walked away seeing nothing to do.

The insignia of Pythonicus flashed on screen. Noah is drawing some kind of plans. He turns and Pythonicus scribbled all over them in red crayon. When Noah turns back he rolls his eyes and flips the paper over.

The insignia of Pythonicus flashed on screen. Alejandro is feeding something made of red fabric through his sewing machine. Pythonicus ducked under it and pressed a wire against the plug sending electricity through the wire to electrocute the Spaniard.

The insignia of Pythonicus flashed on screen one final time and Pythonicus and Dander boy are shown in the same poses from earlier to end the montage.

/

A runway with a set of pink curtains leading backstage is shown. To it's direct right is a panel of Judges. Chris, Pythonicus and Dander boy. Various standing lights are about the area. "Now wearing a superhero costume of her own design," Chris dramatically introduced as the focus was on the pink curtains leading backstage, and a pair of stage lights turned on. " our first super-model!"

Amber stepped out from behind the curtain. She was dressed in a green spandex dress with green leggings that had a leaf design on them and green boots. Her braids had a green ribbon interwoven with them, and she held a long green rope made of fabric.

Chris sighed. "State your name and superpower,"

" I am Plantara, I have phytokinesis!" Amber declared.

"Phyto what now?" Chris asked.

"Phytokinesis." Amber repeated, Chris gave her a flat look. "I can control plants?"

"That's dumb power." Chris said. Amber threw the green rope she was holding out to wrap the host in it.

"I have captured you in my vine!" She declared.

"Yeah." Chris deadpanned. "Still not feeling it, that's worth a whole three points."

Amber stomped off. "Why does everyone diss phytokinesis?!"

Sammy walked to the end of the runway and posed. She was wearing her usual cheerleading outfit with white spandex leggings and matching go go boots. She was holding two red pom poms and her hair was in pigtails.

"Okay? What do you do?" Chris asked.

"I am Cheergirl! I can give people the ability to do anything with the power of cheering! I also have exploding Pom Poms!" Sammy explained, throwing the pom pom at Chris. Dander boy hissed and started to attack them.

"Lame powers, decent costume. Four points next." Chris decided writing it down.

/

Topher stopped in from of the judges panel wearing what looked like a normal business dark blue suit save for the fact it was made of spandex. He had a blue tie with the gold dollar pin on it. "Dude you look like a businessman not a superhero." Chris said.

"I am Hostpher! I have the ability to look sharp in any situation, make anyone my fan, and blind people with my smile." Topher declared. He finished by smiling, his teeth were so shiny Chef fell over. "I was inspired by you."

"Impressive, six points." Chris said.

/

Duncan stood on stage looking exactly the same, save for a large eye he placed in the center of his forehead. "Dude where are your tights?"

"I don't do spandex. I'm the all seeing eye and I've got physic powers. I can see into the future." Duncan said.

"Yeah right." Noah scoffed as he exited backstage. He had removed his red sweater vest and blue button up so only his white undershirt was on. A large pulsing brain insignia was taped to it at the center of his chest, and he was wearing gray spandex pants.

Duncan put his hand to his head. "Noah is about to experience a painful fall." As Noah reached the end of the runway Duncan tripped him.

"Even I saw that one coming. Two points. Chris scoffed. "Noah?"

The cynic had righted himself at this point he yawned, clearly still tired. "I'm brainiac and I have both telekinesis and telepathy." He deadpanned.

"Then what am I thinking right now?" Chris asked.

"You're thinking my costume is incredibly stupid." He smirked.

Chris looked like he wanted to protest but couldn't. "Fine, six points."

/

Jo was wearing a gray spandex suit, black gloves with spikes on the knuckles and black boots. She wore black jacket as well. "I'm Bruiser,!"

"Nice costume and what's your power?" Chris asked.

"I deal in vigilante justice. I can make anyone beg for mercy by threatening them." Jo smirked.

"Interesting, care to demonstrate?" Chris asked.

"I was hoping you'd ask." Jo picked up Chris by the back of his collar and pulled back her fist. "Hope you've got a good plastic surgeon, your face will need it."

"You wouldn't?" Chris gasped.

"Try me." The jockette said. Silence for a few moments. Just as it looked like she was about to punch…

"Stop! Just leave my face alone!" Chris screamed. Jo put him back down. "That's a pretty effective superpower. Eight points."

/

Gwen was wearing a black spandex one piece, her normal boots, a short black cape, and a headband with the ears from the fake cat boa she'd been seen with in the montage glued to it. "I'm Jynx, and I cause bad luck."

"Seriously?" Chris went to mark something on his clipboard and Gwen stomped her foot, startling Chris and causing the tip of his pencil to break.

"Oops, bad luck." Gwen smirked.

"Fair enough. Seven points." The host decided.

/

Alejandro was dressed in a red spandex suit with a jacket, top hat and cape. A large swirl covered his chest. "I am HypJuilo!"

"And your powers?" Chris asked.

"Hypnosis. Allow me to demonstrate." He snapped his fingers and Topher flew to his side. "Topher? Dazzle them,"

Topher began to tap dance and sing in falsetto. "On the good ship lollipop! It's a sweet trip to a candy shop!"

Chris was laughing. "Okay you can stop."

"And you're back." Alejandro said, snapping his fingers again.

Topher blinked. "Alejandro? How'd I get here? What was I doing? "

"You were just helping me win the challenge." The Spaniard explained.

"Oh, good, why's Chris laughing?" Topher asked.

"That was hilarious. Ten points for sure." Chris said, ignoring Topher's question.

"What? Doesn't Hypnosis seem like a villain power?" Jo protested.

"And threatening to punch people isn't?" Alejandro asked pointedly. Jo looked like she wanted to protest, but kept her mouth shut. "I didn't think so."

"Alejandro wins the first challenge, which means he gets an advantage in the next one!" Chris declared.

(Confessional)

Alejandro: My uncle Juilo is a hypnotist, I drew inspiration from him. It's fortunate Topher was so willing to be hypnotized. I must admit, part of the reason I humiliated him is to make up for his confrontations with Sammy lately.

Static

Topher: Honestly, being hypnotized felt really nice. I wouldn't mind letting him do it again.

Static

/

The scene faded back in to show several set pieces on the far left was a cut out of a burning house, then mattress in front of a backdrop of a forest at dusk. Then a large skyscraper building with a clock on it and on the far right a target trampoline in front of yet another dusk lit backdrop. The focus shifted right to show the host and contestants right next to a ladder with a diving board above the trampoline.

"For your second challenge, we will be testing your super prowess." Chris explained.

(Confessional)

Gwen: Chris doesn't actually expect us to use our powers right? I mean I'm pretty sure the only one who actually has their power is Alejandro. Speaking of how freaky is it that he can hypnotize people?

Static

"You'll have to leap over a building in a single bound," Chris explained."using this trampoline from the set of the movie 'Trampoline Thunder 2'! Awesome flick, You'll be judged on how far and how high you jump," The focus shifted up to the diving board. "And please, properly time your landing as we wouldn't want you to land anywhere other than on this soft, cushy mattress." The focus moved left to the mattress from earlier where Dander Boy is licking himself. The cat let out a startled meow as several springs popped out of it. Then to the contestants some of which were nervous.

"Our first and foremost priority at Total Drama Action is you safety and well-being," Chris said, before bursting into laughter. "Next, you'll have to save a woman falling from a building," The focus shifted over to the left where the cutout of the burning building stood. Pythonicous poked out of the cut out's window holding a sack of potatoes in a pink dress. "The woman will be played by a sack of potatoes in a dress. Which will be a real catch for you guys," The host quipped. Duncan and Noah exchanged flat looks.

(confessional)

Noah: (yawn) Please, Chris is getting less play than any of us

Static

Duncan: Like Chris is one to talk, he probably had dinner with that thing last night.

Static

A small table with a red cloth sits between two chairs, the left one holding Chris, and the right one holding the sack of potatoes in a dress. Upon it was a candle and a wine glass which Chris poured red wine into.

/

"And finally, you'll walk across a power line during a meteor shower!" Chris declared as the focus moved right past the burning building cut out to a series out power lines over several mattresses. The focus shifted in on Pythonicus tossing a bowling ball up and down, he threw it through a water tower which began to burst. "The person to finish the course with the best time wins invincibility!" Chris finished as the contestants turned their incredulous faces towards him. "Alejandro, you're up first. Ten seconds will be shaved off your time for winning the first round." Alejandro walked by Jo with a smug smirk on his face. She rolled her eyes.

(Confessional)

Jo: Al might have won the first part of the challenge, but in the end I will win the million. I mean sure he has more allies, but when you're as awesome as me you don't need allies.

Static

Chris is now holding a stopwatch. "And Action!"

Alejandro leapt from the diving board in a perfect dive, easily jumped over the building and rolled to his feet on the mattress. He ran towards the cut out of the burning building and caught the sack of potatoes in his hands, then tossed it aside. As the sack hit the ground Chris chuckled. "Looks like we're having real mashed potatoes tonight huh Chef? None of that powdered stuff."

"Oh yeah, letting the damsel hit the ground is real heroic." Jo scoffed.

He ran to the power lines and swiftly climbed to the top. He quickly dodged a bowling ball headed for him, and the focus briefly shifted to pythonicus throwing a second bowling ball. Up on the wires Alejandro flipped, ducked, and sidled across the powerlines until he reached the end then jumped to the ground and landed easily on his feet.

"And time!. Nice job HypJuilo with your ten second deduction that's twenty-eight seconds." Chris said.

Alejandro smugly walked past Jo. "I'd like to see you top that."

"I will, easily!" Jo retorted.

/

"Noah you're up." Chris said.

Noah was yawning yet again. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

A flash transition shows Noah at the top of the diving board. He jumped off and landed in the center of the trampoline. Noah's light weight caused him to shoot up higher than expected. Noah let out a high pitched scream as he flew over the cut out of a tall building completely over the mattress and directly towards the cut out of the burning building. Pythonicus poked his head out ot drop the bag of potatoes but ducked back in as Noah slammed through the window.

We hear him groan and then Pythonicus picks him up by the collar of his shirt and drops him out of the building. Noah landed on the ground, and before he could get up the bag of potatoes in a dress landed directly on him. Noah groaned yet again.

"Ooh. Now that's gotta hurt." Chris chuckled.

Noah slowly got up and walked over to the power lines where he dragged himself to the top. He attempted to walk across the powerline when a bowling ball flew towards him. Noah gave the camera a resigned look as it slammed into him, sending him on to one of the mattresses below. Despite how clearly uncomfortable, dirty, and springy the mattress was he instantly fell asleep.

"Looks like you didn't make it." Chris said from off screen.

(confessional)

Noah: (Is scratching his head.) I knew those disgusting mattresses were infested with roaches. (He pulls the insect out of his hair and crushes it.) I need a long shower.

Static

A montage of the final six contestants doing the course is shown. Duncan is shown climbing up the diving board. Then Sammy is shown crawling onto it. Gwen is shown Jumping, followed by Jo, and Amber hitting the trampoline. She bounced up and hit into the back of the cut out tall building.

Sammy flew over the building her foot catching on the roof of the cut out causing her to fall. Jo easily soared over it, as did Topher. Duncan lands on the mattress and ran to the cut out of the burning building. Pythonicus dropped the bag of potatoes out the window, where Gwen easily caught the sack of potatoes in a dress. Sbe threw it aside and Sammy nearly ran into it, just managing to flip over it at the last second.

Jo is easily rolling across the powerlines. Pythonicus is shown throwing a bowling ball, then the focus shifted back to Duncan who was hit by the bowling ball, but as he fell he managed to catch the power line with his hand and pull himself back up to ran across the lines again. Then Gwen manages to dodge a few bowling balls. Pythonicus is shown throwing yet another bowling ball, up on the powerline the ball hit Amber, who fell off the lines and on to the mattresses below. Topher was shocked as he ran across the powerlines and ended up falling on top of Amber.

The montage ended with Chris stopping the stopwatch. "Now this is unexpected. Bruiser got twenty eight seconds, and as you know HypJulio got twenty eight seconds thanks to his advantage from the first challenge. So I guess that means you both get immunity, which means you can't vote each other out!" The host laughed. "I love this show! Now, you guys may be superheroes but you also smell super gross. Time to hit the showers, and decide who's gonna get kicked to the curb."

/

Gwen and Duncan are on one of the benches between the two trailers. The goth has her head on his shoulder and sighs happily. "So who should we vote out? I mean we can't vote for Jo or Alejandro, so…"

"I say we vote for Topher. That guy's one of Al's biggest allies. It'd hurt him." Duncan said.

"True. but the two of us won't be enough." The goth pointed out.

"I'll talk to Noah, you talk to Jo." Duncan said, kissing Gwen.

The goth smirked. "This is nice. Being with you is nice…"

"You getting sentimental on me Pasty?" The punk smirked.

"Maybe a little, but you can't tell me you hate it." Gwen smiled, pressing her lips to Duncan.

Unbeknownst to the two, someone is watching in the shadows.

/

In the bathroom Sammy and Amber are in front of the mirrors wearing towels as they talk. "So who should we vote out?" Sammy asked.

"Well since Jo is out of the question and Topher is in our alliance that leaves Noah, Gwen, and Duncan." Amber said.

"I say we vote out Gwen or Stuncan." Jo said, exiting the bathroom stall. "Scrawny's smart but he's pretty weak."

Amber pursed her lips. "Duncan and Gwen are both good players…"

Sammy gasped. "But Duncan and Gwen just barely got together!"

"Exactly, which makes them a threat!" Jo pointed out.

Sammy and Amber exchanged looks. "I might be willing to vote out Duncan." Amber said.

"But it seems so mean." Sammy frowned.

"Mean Schean, you wanna make it far you gotta make sacrifices." Jo said.

Sammy swallowed. "Okay, I'll consider it."

/

Jo is exiting the bathroom and comes across Gwen. "Hey, so I was thinking. Alejandro's got a pretty big alliance. We need to spilt them up. Duncan and I are thinking of voting out Topher."

"Why him? Tweedle Dumb's more psychically intimidating." Jo said.

"Sure, but Topher's a host's pet. Who knows what advantages he could get?" Gwen pointed out.

"True… I'll think about it." The jockette said.

/

Jo is outside the boy's trailer. "Hey, Scrawny?" Noah groaned as he came to the window.

"The film lot had better be on fire." He yawned.

"So I'm thinking we vote out Stuncan. He and Gwen are tight, and that's dangerous." Jo said.

"True, but so's Alejandro's alliance." Noah said.

"Yeah, but come on Braids and Slowpher are constantly fighting. That alliance is a ticking bomb." Jo replied.

"You make a point." The cynic said. "If I say yes will you let me sleep?"

"Absolutely." The jockette smirked.

"Then fine." Noah said.

"Pleasure working with you." Jo said.

(Confessional)

Jo: I'd say I'm doing pretty good at shaking things up.

Static

Noah turned around and the focus shifted inside to show him moving towards his bed. The trailer door slammed open. "Noah?" Duncan asked.

"Why can't anyone let me sleep?!" Noah moaned.

"You can sleep in a minute. Pasty and I are voting for Topher, you in?" Duncan asked.

Noah nodded sleepily. Duncan smirked and exited. Topher and Alejandro came in. "Noah would you consider-" The Spaniard began.

"The next person to keep me awake will find crushed up roaches in their facial cream, and after today I know where to find them!" the cynic snapped, before rolling over to try and sleep.

"Touchy." Topher scoffed.

/

The stage with the two giant Chris statues is shown as spotlights wave in front of it. A series of clips featuring Chris from last season ,several of them just him talking, roll over the screen in two parallel lines, a vertical line of clips include one where Chris is dress as a pirate rolls down between them, as two more clips, one of Chris in a helicopter and one of him with a clapboard, move out to either side, the focus zooms out to show a giant gilded Chris as fireworks go for in the background.

The amphitheater is shown, with the contestants sitting on their wooden benches with the voting devices in hand. Chris walked to the podium clad in his usual blue tux for the ceremony. "And now we vote." The contestants are shown putting in their votes. Then the focus shifted back to Chris. "And the gilded Chris goes to..." Pythonicus lowered himself upside down from the ceiling to give Chris the results. "And the gilded Chris goes to, Alejandro, and Jo." The two rivals glared at each other as they caught their awards. The focus shifted to each contestant as Chris listed them off. "Sammy," The twin looked relieved. "Noah," The cynic had fallen asleep against Topher this time. The blonde didn't seem to mind. "And Amber." The bookworm smirked. "It's down to the final three." Chris said. "Gwen."

The goth looked concerned as she wrapped her arms around Duncan. The Punk looked nervous. "And finally..." The focus shifted from a confident Topher, to a glaring Duncan, to Gwen biting her lip in nervousness. "...

...

...

...

...

Topher." Chris tossed the final award.

Gwen gasped, then her eyes narrowed and she turned towards the others. "Okay, I can see Jo, Alejandro and Topher voting for Duncan. Who else?"

Sammy stared at her feet as she raised a hand. Amber folded her arms. "Well we couldn't vote out Jo, and we're not voting against our own alliance. Since you and Duncan are together it was the most strategic choice."

"I thought we were friends!" Gwen glared. "At least Sammy feels bad." Amber said nothing.

Duncan took the goth's award and threw it at Noah's face. "What?" He yawned.

"Who'd you vote for?" The punk asked.

"I don't know, I was too asleep to pay attention." The cynic admitted.

Gwen turned to Duncan and hugged him tight. "I'm gonna miss you!"

The punk looked taken aback again but hugged her back with one arm. He used the other to cup her cheek and lift her head to look at him. "Hey, you're a strong girl Pasty. You take anything this game throws at you. " The two moved to kiss, and Chris popped up between them with an irate look on his face.

"Okay, okay enough with all the warmth and affection! Time for the walk of shame."

/

As Duncan moved to walk down the red carpet Gwen kissed him. "Chris isn't gonna stop me from getting one last kiss."

"And that's what I mean. You can handle yourself even without me alright? I'll be rooting for you the whole time." Duncan told her.

Duncan began to make his walk. "Duncan?" A tired voice asked. The punk looked back at Noah.

"I decided the best way to show Crimson how I feel is; to show her how I feel. If you run into her could you show her-" Noah asked.

Duncan smirked. "No problem." He turned and continued his walk.

The focus shifted to Chris as he smirked at the camera. "It's goodbye to Duncan, who despite his name couldn't 'duck' elimination!" He began to laugh and then yelped in pain. The focus moved out to show Gwen had kicked him in the shin. "I guess I should have seen that coming." A snore was followed by Noah falling to Chris' feet. "And that."

The focus moved in on Chris as he began his outro. "and you should see what's coming next time on Total Drama Action!" The focus moved out to show Noah is now snuggling Chris' leg. "Chef? A little help here?!"

(Bonus Clip)

Duncan is sitting in the Lame-O-Sine with his arms crossed. "I guess I should have figured they'd vote out one of us once both Alejandro and Jo got immunity. I'm kinda glad it's me and not Pasty. Besides this show sucks. Nice to be done with it all. Done with Chef's crappy food, and the lame challenges, and Chris' ego. I'm planning to watch the show when I get home just to support Pasty, but that's it. I'm done." Someone says something and Duncan's brow furrowed as he glared. "Aftermath? Fuck that!"

Chapter Text

The episode begins with a series of purple rings moving up a black background, a series of small blue rings appear in their center and in the center of those rings the letters, T D and A fall through. Then they align on screen., big red and bold, as smaller letters of the same color spelled out aftermath underneath them. The D moved forward to transition to clips from the show.

"Hey, I'm gonna miss trash talking our teammates with you." Noah admitted.

Amy smirked. "Is that your way of saying we're friends?"

"Don't push it." Noah smirked.

"Well good luck. Since Ella's not in the competition I might as well root for you." Amy scoffed.

The D flashed again.

Ellody walked down the walk of shame but before she entered the car both Sammy and Amber ran to her side and hugged her. "I'm gonna miss you! Sorry I voted you out!" Amber said.

"I just didn't want to go home!" Sammy explained.

"Worry not, I completely understand. The odds of me winning were low to begin with. At least got some good friends out of it." Ellody said.

Another flash of the D.

Gwen has landed on top of Duncan. When she came to, she gasped.

"Morning Pasty." Duncan said with a smirk. Gwen quickly pushed herself to her feet.

"Uh, so that was." She rubbed the back of her head. "I mean." She blushed.

"You don't have to explain yourself. I know I'm magnetic." Duncan bragged.

Gwen ribbed him playfully. "Don't oversell yourself."

"I'm not." The punk said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

One last flash of the D

" I'm planning to watch the show when I get home just to support Pasty, but that's it. I'm done." Someone says something and Duncan's brow furrowed as he glared. "Aftermath? Fuck that!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The opening graphic repeated itself. When it faded it was two show a set with a clear low table in the center and behind that table is a maroon couch with sofa pillows, above that couch is a set of hanging lamps in varied styles and colors. To both the left and the right of the main couch are two couches in various shades of blue and purple. Geoff and Kitty are sitting on the main couch. A live studio audience cheered as the show began.

"Yo everyone! We're back for a totally off the hook Total Drama Action Aftermath show!" Geoff began. "I'm Geoff,"

"And I'm Kitty. So much has happened since the last aftermath! TDA has lost some serious Heavyweights. "Amy," The twin was shown on screen to chorus of boos and cheers evenly mixed. "As well as Ellody and Duncan. Who will be on soon." A split screen of the two contestants was shown with a healthy amount of cheering.

"We've also got our bunch from season one and losers from season two in the peanut gallery." Geoff explained as the focus shifted to show the peanut gallery.

"Not for long!" Anne Maria taunted from where she sat. "I heard the producers talkin' to you. One more slip up and I get ta host the show!" Nearby Scott coughed. Anne Maria sighed. "With Scott." She reluctantly admitted. " Which let's face it, I should be doin' right now. The producers obviously want someone with more class, more flair, more beauty." She said,

"The only reason the producers are considering you is because you have less morals!" Kitty snapped.

"Well duh. I mean what do ya think this is, some touchy feely talk show where everyone gets ta talk about their problems? Like the audience wants ta see that." Anne Maria said.

"There are plenty of people who'd want to see that!" Kitty protested.

"That's not what the ratings say." Scott chuckled, taking the selfie lover's phone and using it to show the ratings for the aftermath. "The show's ratings have just been getting higher as the show gets more violent."

"Hey, get your grubby mitts off my girl's phone!" Geoff said, taking the phone back. "Here you go."

Kitty took her phone and gave him a peck on the lips. "Thanks honey." The crowd began to cheer. She smirked at Scott. "See, the audience does want to see sweet moments."

"Whatever, doesn't change the fact that the producers are ready to move on to a better lookin' host. I mean face it, you look like a hot mess, not that the terrible lightin' is helpin' with that." Anne Maria scoffed.

The focus moved up to show the two crew members that have been seen before. The big black man with the red hat and tracksuit, and the white brunette with he orange hat and white shirt with green collar and trim. They glared at Anne Maria.

"just tellin' like it is." The Jersey reject told them.

"Well I personally think Kitty looks like a million bucks. Way better than you anyway, especially her hair!" Geoff defended.

Anne Maria got in his face. "Ey' no one insults the poof!"

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?" the party dude replied.

In the background the audience let out their biggest cheers yet. Anne Maria smirked. "See? If anythin' this proves my point 'bout what the audience likes!"

"Maybe the audience likes Geoff standing up for me? You ever think of that?" Kitty retorted.

"Whatever. " Scott smirked. "It doesn't matter either way, what matters is what the producers want."

"And what they want is me!" Anne Maria smirked. Scott cleared his throat. "and Scott."

"Well at the moment we're the hosts, so get back in the peanut gallery where you belong!" Kitty said. Anne Maria sniffed and returned to her seat, with Scott smirking and returning to his own.

"We have not one, not two, but three sweet guests tonight!" Geoff announced, listening to his earpiece. "And our Producers have come up with something extra for them." He exchanged a nervous glance with Kitty. "But before we find out what's in store for them, let's talk about Amy's journey through the show."

The focus shifted to the screen above which now had Amy on it. "Amy started the season in a rough spot, with all her teammates hating her except Ella." Geoff said.

Ella's elimination is shown, then Noah offering her an alliance, Trent being eliminated, and Amy having a friendly goodbye with Noah. "Things took a turn for the worse when Ella wasn't eliminated, leading her to make an alliance with Noah." Kitty added.

"Together they voted out Trent, but it wasn't long before Amy followed, having formed a sort of friendship with Noah." Geoff concluded.

The focus shifted back down to the two on the couch. "Our first guest has emotionally abused her younger sister, had half her hair shaved off by Chef, formed an extreme rivalry with Gwen, and kissed Noah for a challenge, it's Amy!" Kitty introduced gesturing to the right.

The focus moved right as a chorus of both cheers and boos sounded. Amy was supposed to be coming on set, but the cheerleader was nowhere to be seen. The focus moved back to Geoff and Kitty who looked confused.

"Amy everyone!" Geoff said, the focus shifted left as yet another chorus of Boos and cheers was heard. Amy still didn't come out. The peanut gallery was shown looking confused. Then a flash transition takes us back to the green room, with the blonde intern poking his head in.

"You're on." He said.

"Give me a second here!" Amy snapped. She breathed in through her nose and out her mouth. "You can do this, remember Amy, confidence." She plastered a smile on her face and moved out.

For the third time the left part of the stage was shown as a chorus of boos and cheers accompanied the twin as she strutted confidently on stage. She walked to the couch and sat down. Amy waved to the audience. "Hey everyone! Glad to be here!"

"Not glad to see you." Trent said as the focus shifted to the peanut gallery.

"No one cares." Amy huffed.

"So Amy, how's it feel to be off the show before your sister?" Kitty asked.

"Terrible. Samey is the worst. I mean the only reason she's still on the show is because her team pities her. Or you know they have terrible taste." Amy scoffed.

"Her name is Sammy, and she's way better than you are. Her team just sees the value in her!" Trent argued.

"Well I guess one person's trash is another one's treasure." Amy smiled. Then she laughed. "Can you imagine viewing Samey as treasure?"

"Stop talking about her like that!" Trent said, Lightning held his hands behind his back. "What are you doing?"

"Just stopping you from doing anything Sha-crazy!" The athlete said.

"Wow. I'm surprised you didn't get booted earlier." Kitty said.

"Amy always seems to make it farther than you'd think." Geoff said.

"So is that really what you think of Sammy?" The selfie lover asked.

"Of course it is!" Amy snapped.

"Care to prove it?" Geoff asked, he listened to his ear piece "in our newest game truth or Electrocution?!"

A gold statue of a woman with her hair in a bun is shown. She is wearing a blindfold and a toga dress, in her left hand she holds an old fashioned scale, in her right a sword, a bolt of lightning destroys the statue.

Amy glanced to her left, the focus shifted to show an electric chair attached to a pumpkin in a hazmat suit. The pumpkin is shocked, splatting into pieces. Amy gasped. "You're gonna put me in there?!"

"I think the producers have lost it." Kitty whispered.

"Yeah, but if we don't do it, Anne Maria gets to take over. Besides, it's Amy, and its low voltage." Geoff whispered back. The focus shifted to Anne Maria looking at them tauntingly.

"I say you do it! Maybe it'll shock some sense into her!" Scott smirked.

"Surely this is going too far!" Ella protested.

"So long as she tells the truth she will be fine." Xena deadpanned.

Max had tears in his eyes. Tyler looked at him oddly. "Are you okay?"

"It's just, such evil! It's so beautiful!" Max sobbed.

"Lightning thinks you should go for it! Unless you're a chicken?" The athlete flapped his arms like wings.

Amy stood up. "Fine! I have nothing to hide anyway!" She marched over to the electric chair and let herself be strapped in.

The aftermath logo is shown and the D flashed.

/

Amy is in the electric chair as Geoff approaches her. "So Amy? Do you really think your sister is worthless?"

"Of course!" Amy was immediately shocked. "She's nothing but an inferior version of me!" Another shock.

"Looks like someone is lying. So you do care about your sister?" Kitty asked.

"No I don't!" She was shocked again. The audience gasped at this revelation.

"Amy? Why do you have such problems with your sister?" Geoff asked.

"Because it's her fault I'm not seen as my own person! It's her fault everyone immediately compares me to her! If she wasn't born the same day as me I wouldn't have to work so hard just to stand apart from her! It's hard, you know? Even my own mom is constantly comparing us! '' Amy snapped. There was no shock. Everyone was silent.

"But Sammy hasn't done anything wrong." Kitty pointed out.

"I know that." Amy whispered. "Deep down, I know it's a much bigger issue than Samey, but it's easier to just blame her."

"You're still a terrible person for treating her like that." Trent said.

"Tell me something I don't know!" Amy snapped. "Can we just drop it now?"

Geoff and Kitty looked at each other and nodded. "Yeah, let's move on to the game. So, how did you feel about Noah's having two alliances? Betrayed? Furious?" Geoff asked.

"Not really betrayed. I mean I was beyond mad about it obviously, but I also kind of respect him for it." Amy was not shocked.

"Really? Why?" Kitty asked.

"I mean it's genius really. If Duncan and Gothie hadn't fallen for each other he'd have been able to vote out gothie and then tell us to vote for each other, leaving the swing vote to him." Amy explained. "Shame it didn't work out."

"One more question before we wrap things up." Geoff said.

"Whatever I can take it." Amy scoffed.

Kitty smirked. "Did you enjoy kissing Noah?"

Amy's eyes widened. "No!" She was shocked. "Okay it wasn't the worst thing but I didn't enjoy it either. It felt like kissing a wall, except softer."

"Good to know you're not into my boyfriend." Crimson deadpanned.

"Well that's enough from Amy. Let's move on to our second guest." Geoff said.

The focus shifted up to the screen. Ellody was shown running from the electronic monster with Harold. Then she's shown studying with him in the medical Drama episode "Ellody started the season befriending Harold, but that friendship quickly turned into something more." Kitty began

Ellody is running to Harold's side in the disaster episode and saying goodbye in the war episode. "When Harold got injured Ellody was devastated and concerned, leading her to vote him out." Geoff continued.

Ellody's shown revealing multiple fake scares in the Horror movie episode, opening the safe in the heist episode, and starting a fire in the caveman episode. "Ellody's smarts proved to be quite boon to her team as she helped them solve problems." Kitty said.

Topher is shown talking to Ellody then Ellody is shown being eliminated. "But despite Topher offering to help her vote out Sammy Ellody was the last one eliminated from her team." Geoff concluded.

The focus shifted back down to the couch where Kitty and Geoff are. "Our next guest has an interest in astrophysics, can name over ten digits of pi, and once saved the entire cast of Total Drama Action from drowning in a fake submarine, it's Ellody!"

The focus shifted left as Ellody walked on stage to a chorus of cheers. Ellody sat down on the couch. "Greetings Geoff and Kitty. It's most delightful to see you." The focus shifted to the peanut gallery particularly Harold who no longer had his arm in a sling. "Harold, I'm pleased to see your scapula has made a full recovery."

The geek stood up and took out his num yos. "Yep, my mad skills are back!" Harold proclaimed, swinging around the num yos. They nearly hit Scott, Cameron, and Dawn before being stopped by Anne Maria's hair.

"Hey, hands off the poof!" The jersey reject said, pushing Harold over.

"So Ellody, are you mad at your team for voting you out?" Kitty asked.

"Not really, I was almost expecting it. It's clear Sammy feels a connection to Alejandro and Amber is her best friend, so the three were unlikely to vote for each other." The genius said.

Geoff was listening to his ear piece. "Kitty, they want us to put her in the chair."

"I figured as much, but how can we? I mean Amy's one thing but Ellody-" Kitty whispered.

"Excuse me Kitty, Geoff, but are you referring to the very conspicuous electric chair to my direct left?" Ellody said, gesturing to the chair.

"Yeah, it's a 'game' the producers call: Truth or Electrocution." Kitty replied, making quotation marks around the word game.

"I assume it's set to electrocute me should I lie?" Ellody asked. Kitty nodded. "And the producers are forcing you to use it in order to obtain information?"

Geoff nodded. "And we'll get replaced if we don't listen."

"I see, very well then you may strap me to the device." Ellody walked to the chair.

"You don't have to." Kitty said.

"So long as I do not lie I will remain unscathed." The genius was strapped inside the chair. "You may ask your questions when ready."

Geoff exchanged a nervous glance with Kitty, but walked to the chair. "Ellody, how did you feel when Harold was injured?"

"I was in more emotional pain then I'd ever experienced at that point. I am a logical person, and generally no amount of emotional distress will make me lose sight of that. Harold's injury was one of the few times emotion overwhelmed logic. It was at that moment I knew Harold and I had a deep connection." The crowd cheered.

"Were you upset when Noah used the fact that you lost your glasses to overcome you in the ring?" The party dude continued.

"Not particularly. We were about the same in physical ability, so my poor eyesight was the only thing he could use to his advantage." Ellody explained.

"In a few of your confessionals you mentioned someone named Mary?" Kitty asked from the couch.

"Indeed. Mary is my best friend. We first met at an Engineering Student Potluck dinner where we both brought "pie chart" pies." Ellody giggled. "It was quite whimsical. Anyway the two of us fully intend to become astrophysicists. "

"What would you say if we told you we have Mary on webcam?" Geoff said.

"I would greatly like to speak with her." Ellody said.

The focus shifted up to the screen where static cleared to reveal a tall woman with glasses, a long nose and prominent chin with a small cleft in it. Her ashen brown hair reached mid back and she was wearing an ombre sweater that started with brown then orange and yellow. "Salutations my good friend."

"Salutations indeed! It has been so long since we last engaged in conversation." Ellody agreed.

"Far too long. I have tried to engage with our peers but they are not interested in my conversation topics." Mary admitted.

"Did you try talking to them about the week's meteorological predictions?" The genius asked.

"They didn't even want to discuss that." Mary said. "Anyway I've been watching the show, and someone's been amorous lately."

"Mary! Must you derive such joviality from poking fun at my recently developed feelings?" Ellody asked.

"As your best friend I have the benefit of being allowed to do precisely that. Unless of course you truly take umbrage with it?" Mary asked.

"No, in fact I must admit it is somewhat pleasurable to have such a rapport with someone. " Ellody said. The two girls chuckled. "Well it was most enjoyable to speak with you again."

"Indeed. By the way, are you hooked to an electric chair?" Mary said

"Yes, but worry not it was of my own volition." Ellody explained.

"I'm not sure that does prevent worry." Mary deadpanned as the webcam turned off.

The focus shifted over to Geoff and Kitty who were both looking horrified. "What do you mean we didn't ask hard enough questions? You got the dirt!" Geoff said into his earpiece. "You think the audience wants to watch the guests get electrocuted?"

"You can't fire us, we'll just stay here out of protest!" Kitty yelled towards Geoff.

Chef came out from backstage and grabbed the two of them by the collars of their shirts, escorting them to the peanut gallery.

Instantly Anne Maria took a spot in the center of the couch. "Now that's more like it. We'll take a small break while I get things sorted."

"You mean while we get things sorted?" Scott said from his spot on the far left of the couch.

"Whatever. We'll be right back!" Anne Maria said.

/

A montage of clips featuring the cast getting injured in hilarious ways move across the screen. Jo getting hit by a coconut, Tyler wiping out on his waterskis, Geoff falling out of a tree and hitting every branch on the way down, and Duncan with the turtle puckshots are a few. "And now it's time for That's gonna leave a mark!" Anne Maria's voice overlay.

The segment begins with Jo throwing Amber out of the girl's trailer by the braid. Then Gwen kicking the door to the safe in the heist episode and hopping up and down in pain. Chris shoots a basketball off during the Sport episode and it hits Alejandro's nuts.

Noah slips on Topher's hairspray in the trailer. Then Amy is shown stomping her foot in anger while the other Grips build the Go cart in the heist episode. This sends a few bolts loose which hit Amy in the face. A boom mic hits right into Topher's nuts, then the birdie from the Badminton game hits into Duncan's nuts.

Jo is in the boy's trailer as it is gassed in the spy episode. She falls over and her chin hits against the table. The Gaffer and Grips symbols slide on screen and the Grip symbol lands Gwen. While Sammy is in the confessional the Gaffer symbol slams into her.

Noah is mauled by beavers in the Caveman episode. Then Ellody gets hit in the head by a spaghetti ball in the Sport episode. Noah is shown in the superhero Episode falling asleep and hitting his head on the sewing machine. In the caveman Episode Chef is driving the cart with the barbecue ribs tied to the top. He drives straight into another cart being driven by sasqutchwawa. Who stepped out, hit Chef's cart repeated with a golf club and then flips him off.

/

The focus moved back down to Anne Maria on the couch. "Welcome back! I'm your utterly gorgeous, stunning, and tanned Host Anne Maria!" While there were some cheers the vast majority of the audience booed. "Huh they must have noticed you were here." She smirked as the focus moved out to show Scott on the far left part of the couch.

"I'm a host too!" The ginger protested.

"Whateva, we all know who the real star here is right everybody?" Anne Maria asked. Once again a chorus of mostly boos greeted her. "Ya'll are just jealous. 'Sides doesn' matta what you think. I'm the host now!"

"We, we are the hosts now." Scott said pointedly.

"Unfortunately." The jersey reject hissed. "Anyway it's time for the third guest of the day!"

The focus moved up to show Duncan stabbing the giant animatronic monster. Then Duncan gets an alien egg, and takes down the seagulls on the surfboard. "Duncan started the season off well." Anne Maria said

Duncan talking to Noah, and Amy revealing Noah's double alliance. "He formed an alliance with Noah and was pretty upset ta find out he was two timin'!" The jersey reject continued

Duncan is shown comforting Gwen while she was in the bubble, fighting with Gwen in fake submarine, and holding her in both the heist episode and the spy episode is shown. "Ova' the season Duncan befriended and lata' developed feelin's for Gwen. Guess there's no accountin' for taste. " Anne Maria scoffed.

Duncan being eliminated is shown. "In the end Duncan's relationship with Gwen is why he was voted out." Scott managed to squeeze in.

The focus moved down to Anne Maria who was giving Scott a put out pout. "Our next guest is a gross punk wit' no sense of taste an' a bad attitude-"

"It's Duncan," Scott interrupted.

The focus shifted left as the punk stepped on stage with an extremely loud chorus of cheers accompanying him. He sat down. "What moron hired you two to host a show?" He asked.

"For your information we earned this position!" Anne Maria snapped. A bunch of boos came from the audience.

"Yeah the producers kicked your little friends to the curb." Scott smirked as the focus moved to show Kitty and Geoff in the peanut gallery.

"The producers made a mistake, and it seems like the audience agrees with me!" Duncan said. "Right?" The audience cheered in agreement.

"Whatever, we're in charge not them." Scott smirked.

"If you think you're gonna get a single answer outta me, you got another thing coming." Duncan scoffed.

"Oh I think you'll play along, or you'll get electrocuted." The ginger continued.

"Now get in the chair. Unless you're scared?" Anne Maria goaded.

"Psh. You mean that thing?" Duncan scoffed. "Fine, I ain't scared." He said as he headed for the chair.

"Just tell the truth and you'll be fine!" Geoff said.

"Yeah, you can take anything they throw at you Duncan!" Kitty encouraged.

The punk was now strapped into the electric chair. Scott approached. "So Duncan, how mad were you when you thought Noah was into Gwen?"

"I was mad, but I was more angry because he'd tried to vote her out in spite of his 'crush." Duncan said. There was no shock.

"Ugh! Ya can't ask a question like that! Let me do it!" Anne Maria said, pushing Scott out of the way. "Duncan, what is it about that pale freak you like?"

"First of all, don't call pasty a pale freak. Second, I like her attitude. She's chill and fun to be around. Total Prank master too. One time we stole everyone's underwear and ran it up the flagpole. She's also totally kickass! Did you see the way she stood up to Jo when she tried to blackmail us? Awesome!" No shock still.

"Yeah, yeah whateva." Anne Maria brushed off. "I heard a rumor you speak baby talk to your pet tarantula, is that true?"

"Pssh, no!" For the first time Duncan was shocked. Scott and Anne Maria laughed.

"Hey Duncan, is it true you think baby animals are cute?" Scott added.

"No!" Once again Duncan was shocked.

"Were you ever jealous of Gwen's close friendship with Trent?" Anne Maria asked.

"Pssh, why would I be threatened by that?" Duncan is shocked a third time.

"Oh really? We've got some never before seen footage that says otherwise." Scott smirked.

The focus shifted up to the screen, where Gwen and Trent are shown talking at breakfast.

"I just can't believe Amy's here instead of Ella." Trent sighed.

"Yeah I can see that. I mean, I hate Ella's singing but Amy is way worse." Gwen admitted.

Trent sighed. "You know with Noah being so aloof and Duncan not really vibing with me, I think you're the biggest reason I haven't gone insane from being around her."

"Oh, well I think you're really nice Trent. I'm proud to be friends with you. " Gwen smiled.

In the background Duncan grit his teeth and blew some air out. He sat down in between the two. "So how you doing without your girlfriend?" Duncan asked Trent.

"I really miss Sammy, but Gwen's friendship helps." The guitarist said. Duncan draped an arm over the goth's shoulders.

The focus shifted back down to the two hosts on the couch. "So, ya wanna answer that question again?"

"Okay, maybe I was a little jealous, but I know Elvis is a loyal guy and he had a girlfriend. So it wasn't much." Duncan admitted.

The peanut gallery was shown. Trent smiled. "Thanks Duncan, You know maybe the four of us can go on a double date some time after the show."

"Whatever." Duncan huffed.

"Okay enough mush. What did you see in Noah's Spa tape?" Scott asked.

"Why don't you show it? It's on the total Drama Website anyway." Duncan said.

"Fine, then we will!" Anne Maria said.

The focus shifted back up to the screen.

The screen showed Noah and Esther in the limo on the way to the spa. "So, what did you want to talk about?" Esther asked.

"I need some advice. See I'm trying to figure out how to tell her I want to take things to the next level." Noah said.

"And you need advice because you've never done anything like this?" Esther teased.

Noah sighed. "Yeah, you know she's goth so I don't know how she'll react if come on too strongly. I don't want to drive her away."

Esther draped an arm over his shoulders. "You're really bad at this relationship stuff huh? I guess that's not surprising considerings she's like one of the only people you've ever liked, period. Romantically or otherwise."

"You done making fun of terrible social skills?" Noah deadpanned.

"I'm never done, but I'll hold off." Esther smirked.

"So, do you have any ideas? How do I show her I want to date? You know once the game's over?" Noah asked.

"Well the biggest thing is: don't overthink it. I know you Noa Boa, and you get in your own head too much. I think you should just tell her what you're told me." Esther said.

Noah sighed. "I'll think about it."

The focus moved back down to the couch with Anne Maria and Scott on it. Neither look impressed. "That's it?" Anne Maria said.

"What were you expecting?" Duncan scoffed.

"Definitely not this." Scott said.

"So, Crimson, what do you think of this?" Anne Maria asked.

"Noah's getting a little emotional. Still I have to say I appreciate he's thinking of me." Crimson admitted.

"We done now?" Duncan said as the blonde intern from before took him out of the chair.

"I guess." The Jersey reject said.

"Good." Duncan walked over to Anne Maria, pushed her into the chair and strapped her in.

"What are ya doin?!" Anne Maria protested.

"Just giving you a taste of your own medicine. So Anne Maria, do you really think you earned the right to be host?" Duncan asked.

"Of course!" Anne Maria was shocked.

"Do you really think you're a better host than Kitty or Geoff?" The punk asked.

"Yes!" Anne Maria was shocked again.

"Do you think the audience would prefer to have them back?" Duncan said.

"No!" Anne Maria was shocked again. "Stop, stop, you're damaging my poof!" she cried.

They took her out of the chair. Scott was listening to an earpiece. "What? What do you mean this isn't working out?!" He listened some more. "Fine."

Scott handed the earpiece to Geoff. "Yes?" He listened. "You want us back huh? Why?" He listened and smirked. "There's a hashtag blowing up on Tweeter about us getting to host the show again? Well we'll consider it, if you promise to stop making us do horrible things to our guests." He listened some more. "Fine, we'll draw up a new contract after the show's over."

The focus moved out from the peanut gallery to show Chef has pushed both Scott and Anne Maria, who is desperately spraying her hair, into the gallery.

Geoff and Kitty made their way back to the couch. The party dude heaved a happy sigh. "It's good to be back." The audience cheered loudly.

"It sure is Geoff, and now the producers know they can't just replace us." Kitty smirked.

"The fans have spoken, #JusticeforGeoff&Kitty Rocks!" Geoff said.

"You're the best fans in the world!" Kitty said. The audience cheered.

"That's all the time we have for today. Join Chris and cast next time for another totally awesome episode of Total. Drama. Action!" Geoff declared. As the audience cheered, the two hosts kissed happily.

A/N And thus the aftermath arc draws to a close. Writing Anne Maria as temporary host was fun. I especially like the resentment for sharing the spotlight with Scott. And now that Tw

Chapter Text

The recap begins with the usual distance shot of the film lot. "Last time on Total Drama Action." The silhouette of Chris in the BatPerson costume swung out of the shadows and rescued Chef in his dress, just before the bungee snapped, the scene shifted. Jo and Gwen are shown fighting over a bolt of spandex, then Alejandro being electrocuted by the sewing machine, Pythonicus dropping a red piece of fabric on to Amber's costume, and Gwen's cat fur boa being shredded. This is followed by Jo posing in her costume, an assortment of spandex bolts in various colors, a dump truck dumping junk nearby, and Noah sleepily showing off his costume. "Just when the cast thought they were safe, I swung in to surprise, I mean antagonize them. The cast were forced to use their creative sides, while showing off their backsides. As they made superhero costumes out of Spandex, and some other junk." The hist laughed. " Nice tights!"

Pythonicus and Dander boy are shown against a green streaked background. Then Alejandro dodging the bowling balls on the powerlines, Noah flying right through the window of the fake burning building, Sammy's foot catching as she tried to jump over the building cutout, and both Amber and Topher falling off the wires. "Of course they were foiled at every turn by the diabolical Pythonicus, super evil alter ego of the villainous Chef. In a fight against evil the cast proved they could be heroes, and losers!" Jo is shown talking to Amber and Sammy, then talking to an irate Noah. Duncan and Gwen's tearful goodbye is shown. "In the end the most diabolical of them all was Jo, who conspired to separate a newly dating Duncan and Gwen."

Chris is shown in the security room. He pressed a button and Jo popped up on the screen, Then a flash transition took the host to the trailers to close out the recap. "What will Gwen do without her biggest ally? What will Jo's next move be? Maybe you'll find out right now, maybe you won't on another totally dramatic episode of Total. Drama. Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The episode proper begins with everyone in the mess hall. The focus is placed on Gwen and Sammy first. The goth is still upset. "Sorry Gwen, but my alliance was voting for Duncan." Sammy said.

The goth glared. "Yeah, and you're in an alliance with Alejandro! You should know that's a bad idea!"

"Alejandro's been nothing but helpful to me." the twin said.

"For now! Once he doesn't need you any more he'll drop you!" Gwen said. "You really think he's gonna keep you over Amber and Topher? As soon as everyone else is out of the way your alliance will have no choice but to vote out one of their own."

Sammy frowned. "But at that point we'd be in the final four so..."

"Ugh, why am I even talking to you! You clearly won't listen to reason!" Gwen huffed. moving to the other end of the table.

Sammy sighed and glanced towards Alejandro, who was currently flirting with Amber. "I don't care what Chris said, that spandex highlighted your form perfectly."

"Really? You're not just saying that?" Amber asked.

"You should know by now that I mean every compliment, I give you." The Spaniard said.

"It's a little hard when you flatter people so much. I suppose you've meant every compliment you've given Topher?" Amber huffed.

Alejandro glanced over at Topher who was nearby. He lowered his voice. "Chica, you know I'm just using him. I'm doing this to help us get further in the game."

"Sure, but that doesn't make me feel better about it." The bookworm said.

Alejandro kissed her. "Chica I assure you; you are the only person I truly care about. I promise I will do all in my power to show you that."

Amber sighed. "We'll see."

The focus moved to Topher as he frowned and stood up. Then it shifted over to the other table where Jo is sitting looking at her PDA. She sets it down and calls out. "Hey Topher, you wanna come over here?"

The blonde walked over to sit across from Jo. "What do you want?"

"Listen, I've been watching you, and you deserve better." The jockette said.

"Tell me something I don't know.": Topher said.

"I'm serious Topher. I don't know what connection Tweedle Dumb has with Al, but between that and his relationship with Amber, its only a matter of time until Al votes you out." Jo warned.

"I know that, but what am I supposed to do about it? Amber's got her hooks so deep into Alejandro nothing I've tried has loosened them." Topher sighed.

"True, but what if I helped you get rid of her?" Jo asked. "Then you'd have Al to yourself, and you might stand a chance."

"Are you suggesting I betray Alejandro's trust? And what do you mean a chance?!" Topher said.

"You know exactly what chance I'm talking about. Besides I know you've voted against your alliance before," Jo accused.

Topher's eyes widened and he whispered. "First off, no I don't, Secondly Not so loud. I'll think about it okay?"

The focus moved to the other end of the table where Noah is sitting.

(Confessional)

Noah: Okay, so Jo's going after Alejandro's alliance. Makes sense, but I can't help but notice she didn't reach out to Topher until after her PDA went off.

Static

Chef stepped into the mess all in a purple, maroon, and black bard outfit, complete with tights and a feathered cap. He blew into a long trumpet with a maroon banner hanging from it. In the center of the banner was a shield in purple and black split diagonally down the middle. "Hear ye and rise for Sir Chris!"

"Sir? Like Chris' ego needs encouragement." Noah deadpanned.

Chris rode in on the horse from the western episode wearing a knight's helmet with a red crest. Chef set down a small red carpet which Chris leaped upon, holding a glass boot in his hands.

Gwen groaned. "Oh no, today's challenge is a fairy tale movie." Amber and Jo also groaned at this.

"Gwen dude you steal my intro again I'll have to personally boot you off the show." Chris said.

"it's not that I mind fairy tales it's that we're going to be doing the watered down versions of them." Amber sighed.

"Trust me, I'd love to put you through an old style fairy tale, but even my lawyers couldn't get permission to do some of the things in those." Chris said. "Anyway the glass boot will determine the princess for today's fairy tale movie challenge." The contestants are all shown, none of them looking too excited save Alejandro and Sammy. "The rest of you compete for the honor of rescuing the fair princess."

"I'd be more than willing to rescue any of you fair ladies." Alejandro said with a sparkling smile.

"Yep, and all four of the girls will get to try." Chris said.

(Confessional)

Jo: If McLame thinks he can put me in a dress he has another thing coming.

Static

Jo scoffed. "I'll pass. I don't think that thing will fit me anyway."

"Fair point. Gwen?" Chris said offering the shoe.

"Can I pass too?" Gwen asked.

"No," Chris said.

Gwen took her long combat boot off. "Fine, it's not like my foot will fit anyway. It looks like it could be in the kid's section."

"What can I say? Princesses are supposed to have dainty feet. " The host explained. The focus shifted to the other contestants wincing as Chris tried to jam the boot on Gwen's foot.

"I don't think she's trying that hard." Sammy said.

"I wouldn't either." Amber scoffed.

"Well it doesn't seem to fit Gwen. Amber?" Chris asked.

"Can't Sammy try first?" Amber asked.

"We're going by where you placed the last challenge. Since you and Sammy both lost, we're going in alphabetical order. " The host smirked.

Reluctantly Amber sat down and took off her flats. Chris moved to place the boot on but it wasn't going. "Oh, guess it doesn't fit." Amber smiled. Chris pointed at her foot which is shown to be stiffened at an angle that wouldn't allow the boot to slide on. "Oh." Amber sighed, loosening her foot. The boot slid on easily. "Curse my small feet!"

"I think we found our princess. Oh Chef? " Chris called.

Chef arrived wearing a blue tutu with matching slippers, a pair of wings on his back, and a wand in hand. "I dub thee princess Amber." The cook said hitting her with the wands and making the air fill with dust, making everyone cough.

"I kind of wanted to be the Princess." Sammy sighed.

"Trust me, if Chris would let me you could have it. " Amber said.

Alejandro smirked. "Are you certain? After all, I will be fighting for your hand."

Amber blushed heavily. Topher frowned.

(Confessional)

Topher: Great, like Alejandro needs more excuses to flirt with Amber. Of course, it will mean they're apart for a lot of the challenge... Maybe I can win him over!

Static

Chris' face and a thick red book are shown over a yellow background. "It's story time with Uncle Chris." Chris is now holding the book in his hands and sitting in a tall purple armchair. The focus moved out to show Chris was on a moving set which included a fake stone fireplace, a round side table, and a red rug. "Once upon a time, six brave knights went on a quest to rescue a princess from her ivory tower. but it wasn't gonna be easy. "

Chris gestured to his left and the focus moved to show Chef had now donned a gray green wig and beard along with some worn gray pants and a worn blue vest. As Chris continued, Chef used a makeup marker to finish coloring his teeth in. The focus moved out again to show he was guarding a rickety old bridge across a fake waterfall. "First the knights had to get past my good friend, the terrible toothless troll and his bridge of bad breaks!"

"To get past the terrible toothless troll the knights had to wear disguises." As the host continued he threw an accessory at each of the 'knights. "There was the frog prince." Alejandro caught a heavy helmet that looked like a frog's head. "The ugly stepsister," A curly red wig was thrown Sammy's way. "Sleeping beauty," A pink sleep mask was thrown at Topher, "One of her seven dwarves." A large wizard's hat was thrown to Noah. "Goldilocks." Chris laughed as he threw a long blonde wig at Gwen, and little red riding hood." He threw a red hood to Jo.

"Really? I have to wear this cape?" Jo complained.

:"Yes, that's what it says in the script." Chris said as a hand placed a plate of chocolate chip cookies and milk on the side table. "Good work kid." The host said as an aside. "And so, the ugly stepsister approached the terrible troll."

"But I can't see!" Sammy said, she was now wearing the curly wig, which covered her eyes.

"Oh yeah, for this challenge, each knight is blindfolded." Chris said. Everyone began to argue but Chris cut them off. "Nowhere in the script does it say the cowardly knights complained! So get it together stepy and get crossing."

/

Sammy is now on the edge of the bridge. She begins to sidle along it. "Okay. I can do this, just put one foot in front of the other." A red apple hit Sammy in the face followed by two more. "Ow! what hit me?"

"Wicked witches apples so they're poisonous and rotten, you might want to watch it." Chris warned.

Sadly being unable to see Sammy slipped on the apples and fell from the bridge.

(Confessional)

Sammy: (Her head is bandaged.) Oh it's not so bad. Amy's tripped me down the stairs tons of times. You just have to ride it out.

Static

The rest of the 'knights' are lined up to cross the bridge. "Next was sleeping beauty, who grabbed a fistful of courage and crossed the bridge." Chris said.

Topher is now wearing the sleep mask and began to run towards Chef. "This is for my fans!" Chef ran to grab Topher only for him to duck under the cook's arm and run right past him.

/

Alejandro put on his helmet and began to run.

(Confessional)

Alejandro: Chef is a strong opponent so I did what I always do when faced with strength greater than or equal to my own. I used my head.

Static.

Alejandro lowered his head and used the helmet to headbutt Chef out of his way. Making it to the other side of the Bridge.

/

Gwen is on the bridge wearing her blonde wig which had long bangs that covered her eyes. She started across when the focus shifted to Chef, who was holding a fake goose with a blue bonnet on it. He squeezed and a golden egg shot out of it, just missing the goth. "Ah! What are you shooting at me?!"

Gwen continued forward with Chef continuing to shoot multiple golden eggs at her. She managed to dodge some, but not all of them. Eventually she got hit and stomped the bridge in anger. Her eyes widened and she heard the boards crack. "Uh oh." The bridge broke out from underneath her "I shouldn't have done that!" A crash is heard off screen.

Chris laughed. "Awesome! You're up dwarfy."

Noah sighed and put his hat on. The he stepped on to the bridge. "Hey Troll, is that the scent of rotten fruit or is that just you?"

Chef looked upset but said nothing, moving instead to tackle Noah. At the last second Noah took one step to his right and Chef slammed into one of the poles keeping the bridge up. Noah quietly walked across why Chef was dazed.

(Confessional)

Noah: Sometimes Brain really is better than brawn.

static

"The final knight attempting to enter fairy tale land is little red riding hood." Chris said, the focus moved up to show Jo with her back facing the bridge tying a blindfold around his head. "Ahm, we're over here!"

Jo turned around and a close up of her face showed that one of her eyes wasn't completely covered. "Nice I can see. Seeing Chef wearing a blonde wig with braids is even better." The focus showed that Chef was putting the mentioned wig on over the rest of his troll costume.

"Rapunzel let down your hair dude!" Chris called. Up on the bridge Chef began to twirl one of the long braids like a rope. He swung it at Jo who ducked. The focus moved down to Noah walking down the stairs he looked up and the focus zoomed in on Jo's face showing the lopsidedly tied blindfold that left one of her eyes uncovered.

"Jo can see?!" Noah gasped.

"How?" Chris asked as the focus shifted down to him. 'With her X-Ray vision? That'd be cool."

Chef was once again swinging one of the braids, he launched it towards Jo, Who used it to swing right into Chef's face, sending the cook to the bridge. He groaned as Jo ran past him.

/

Chris is shown reading the book. "And so the terrible toothless troll knocked down two losers." The focus moved out to show Gwen and Sammy. Gwen's right arm is bandaged, and Sammy's head is bandaged, but they seem okay. "But four semi brave knights made it to the other side and continued on their noble quest. " The focus shifted right to show Noah, Topher, Alejandro, and Jo.

"Whereupon I," Chris continued, placing a hand to his chest as the focus shifted back to him. "Inspired them with a vision of Princess Amber."

The focus moved out to show everyone was now gathered around a stage with a purple tinted forest backdrop. Music began to play as Amber, now with her hair out of the braids revealing it went to the bottom of her back, wearing a tiara, a red princess gown and matching elbow length gloves, was lowered to the stage by two wires. The bookworm sighed annoyedly then began. "When I was a little girl, I'd dream of my first kiss, it would come from my perfect prince!" Two bunnies, a squirrel, surrounded her, and a couple birds landed on her outstretched hands. "And in my dream, it went just like this."

The focus moved to Alejandro and Topher. The former is looking at the stage with a smile on his face, his eyes wide, the latter looks put out. "Wow, I had no idea Amber could sing."

"It's probably not even her, lip syncing is a thing you know." Topher huffed.

"I do not believe that is the case." Alejandro said.

"It's not even that good. I mean it's not projecting at all, and the quality of her voice is average at best." Topher protested.

"I mean true." Noah said. "But average is pretty good for Reality TV standards."

"I find her voice enchanting." Alejandro sighed.

Topher looked affronted. "I could sing too, you know."

"And I'm sure it would be lovely." The Spaniard replied.

Jo, who was right beside Topher, whispered. "Remember my offer from earlier?"

Topher's eyes narrowed. "Yes I do."

Chris popped up between them. "Ooh, sounds like things are getting interesting! Will Jo succeed? Will Topher's jealousy get the better of him? Find out when we come back."

/

A distance shot of Amber singing on stage is shown before the focus moves in on Amber as she continues singing. "My prince will be tall and handsome," The focus moved out to show the four knights watching. Alejandro straightens proudly at this claim. Next to him Topher was pouting. "My prince will be tough as nails," Alejandro cracks a walnut with his biceps, waving his eyebrows suggestively at Amber.

"My prince will have lots of money," The focus moved in on Amber as she flung a bunch of 'money' out her hands. Her voice is a little unsteady and her face is red. "My prince will tame wild whales," The focus moves back to Alejandro who has somehow gotten hold of a small baleen whale and is patting it on the head fondly causing said whale to blush.

The focus shifted to Gwen and Sammy watching the performance. "Amber's so lucky, she gets to wear such a pretty dress." The twin sighed.

"Alejandro's laying it on a little thick, don't you think? Also I had no idea whales could blush." Gwen said.

The focus shifted to a frog with a little crown on it sitting on a rock. Two red gloved hands pick up the frog and the focus moves out to show a close up of Amber. "When we kiss, my prince will be you!" Looking reluctant, Amber kissed the frog, then threw it across the stage.

"Chris, I swear if I get lip warts I will destroy you." Amber glared.

"And I will take great pleasure in watching you do so." Alejandro smirked.

The focus shifted to Chris on his moving set as he said. "Wasn't that song brilliant? It was so brilliant I know everyone wishes they could hear it over and over again, and now they can." Chris snapped his fingers and a cd case featuring princess Amber on a red background as placed in his hand.

"Relive the magic of Amber for only 12.99 call 555-SELL OUT to get your authentic princess Amber CD before everyone else downloads it illegally." Chris said.

"I'll take it." Amber said, and Chris threw it to her. "I have plans for this."

(confessional)

Amber: (Holding the CD) As soon as I can get my hands on a lighter I will burn this CD. Literally. That song is awful, have you ever heard such generic drivel? Though I don't know what I expected from the writers of this show.

Static

Alejandro is kneeling before the stage with Amber's outstretched hand in his own. "It will be my honor to serve you Mi princesa. I would do anything to see your beautiful face." He kissed her hand.

"Alejandro," Amber blushed, then she glanced at Topher who remained huffy. She smirked. "Why thank you sir Alejandro, it's nice to have such an esteemed knight at my service."

"If you ask me, he's the one who should be served." The blonde said.

"Aw, what sweet moment." Noah said in a saccharine tone, "It makes me want to vomit."

"You're not the only one." Jo agreed.

The focus shifted to show Chef, still in the troll costume riding in on the horse from earlier, then to Gwen and Sammy on the moving set. "I feel really bad for that horse." Sammy said.

"Yeah having to carry Chef must be painful, not to mention having to deal with Chris." Gwen said.

The focus shifted to show Amber was now on the horse with Chef. "So do we rescue her yet?" Jo asked.

"No, it's a classic princess abduction." Chris explained. "As the villain makes a whirlwind getaway on a swift steed."

Chef kicked the horse twice. It remained where it was. "Guess old betsy here didn't read the script. "

"Kick harder!" Chris ordered. Chef did so and the horse kicked it's hind legs, right into Noah's balls. The cynic fell over with a high pitched groan. The focus shifted back to Chris who was wincing. :You hate to see it." He began to read the book again. "So that's how the four knight dudes lost the princess. But fate aka me wasn't finished with them. He gestured to the four remaining contestants as Chef and Amber rode past in the background. "They followed the troll to a fight to the death, because that's how I like my princesses saved."

The focus shifted to Chef and Amber on the horse. "Fare Thee Well Sir Alejandro, know that my heart is always with you!" Amber called.

"For someone who didn't want to be the Princess she's sure getting into her role." Jo scoffed.

"Part of its because Alejandro is a knight," Noah began as he got to his feet. .

"Never fear mi princesa, I shall not rest until you are safe in my arms once more!" Alejandro vowed.

"The other part is to get Topher's goat." The cynic finished. The focus shifted to the blonde in question, who was gritting his teeth.

(confessional)

Topher:Okay, its bad enough when they flirt normally, but with the encouragement of roleplay? Ugh, I don't even know why I'm so upset about it. (A hand gives Topher a note. He reads it.) Topher, just admit it already? (He turns towards where the hand was previously.) Who wrote this?

Static

The horse is shown chewing grass before the focus moved out and to the right to reveal a White wooden cut out of a castle entrance as all four remaining contestants approached with Chris and the two failures on the moving set behind them. "Sir Alejandro, Sir Topher, Sir Jo, and Sir Noah reached the ivory tower in which the troll had stuck the princess." Chris read. The focus moved up to show several more cutouts in the style of a castle roof leading to the water tower which had been painted white, with the roof now red.

"But there was only one way to rescue her." Chris continued as the focus shifted to him. " One of the knights would have to slay the dragon!"

The focus moved to Sammy and Gwen. "A dragon?! How did you get a dragon?" Sammy asked.

"It's probably just chef with wings strapped to his back." Gwen quipped.

"Actually, we're reusing the alien monster guy." Chris said. The focus moved out to show Chef, now in a mocap suit, controlling the monster from episode one, now with slightly darker clawed feet, and a green hood with horns on top and two purple wings to either side of his head.

Chris, now with four wooden swords in his hands, proclaimed, "Let the dragon slaying begin!" He threw the swords to the four knights. Alejandro,and Jo caught theirs, Topher fumbled his but did get a grip, and Noah's hit him in the forehead.

"I wish you good fortune brave knights! Especially you Sir Alejandro." Amber said, blowing the Spaniard a kiss.

Alejandro caught the kiss and smirked. "You're in good hands mi princesa, I shall rescue you!"

"Yeah right, I might not care about braids but immunity is riding on this." Jo said.

"I would never allow uncouth cur to lay hands on her!" Alejandro glared.

"You're getting way too into this Al!" Jo smirked, swinging her sword towards him. Alejandro blocked the blow and a shadow fell over them. They both dove out of the way, Jo to the right, Alejandro to the left.

Jo landed next to Noah. "Hey scrawny, you got any ideas on how to take this thing down?"

"Why would I tell you?" Noah asked.

"Because we both know you're not gonna be able to slay it and if I don't win Al probably will?" Jo pointed out.

"Fine, remember how Duncan stabbed it in the arm? Knowing Chris, they probably cheaped out on the repairs. If you can hit that spot," Noah pointed to a part on the monster's arm with a bad patch job and a few wires sticking out of it. "it should take the dragon out of commission long enough to hit it's center of operation." Noah explained.

"Which is?" Jo asked.

"The red bit just below it's head." The cynic said.

"Got it." Jo jumped out in front of the dragon, which Alejandro was fighting with little luck. "Hey Scaley, bet you can't get me!"

The Dragon's claw headed straight for Jo, who dodged out of the way and jumped on it's arm before stabbing through the poor patch job on it. The dragon began to short out and fell to the ground, knocking Alejandro to the ground.. "And now to end this!" Jo declared running straight for the red spot Noah had pointed out. Before she could plunge her sword in, Topher jumped on her back. "Hey, what's the big idea?!" She complained trying to get him off.

"Alejandro, I've got her distracted, kill the dragon!" Topher called.

Alejandro got to his feet and ran up the dragon's back, plunging his sword into the dragon's center of operations. The dragon shut down and Alejandro called up. "Amber, your prince will be there shortly!"

"Yeah, get immunity Alejandro!" Topher called.

Chris arrived on the moving set. "Wanna rescue princess Amber too? Now you can for only 79.95!" The host pulled out a red box with a single wide diagonal yellow stripe across it. Inside was a rag doll that looked vaguely like Amber. "Order your very own Princess Amber limited edition glass boot doll! Playing with the Princess doll is more fun and less boring than playing with the real Amber, guaranteed." Chris flashed a smile at the camera.

The focus moved up to Amber at the top of the tower as Alejandro finally finished climbing up to her. "Mi princesa." Alejandro said, Amber smiled and the two leaned in for a kiss.

"Wait, wait there's no kissing." Chris said with a finger wag.

"Excuse me?" Alejandro said, raising an unamused brow.

"It says here that Princess Amber and Prince Alejandro must sword fight to determine the true winner." Chris said.

"So whoever wins the swordfight gets immunity?" Amber asked.

"You catch on quick." The host said.

"But don't most princess stories end with a kiss?" Sammy asked.

"Well Sammy this is a modern tale. Gal's have to fight for themselves." Chris replied.

"Perfect! Alejandro, all you have to do is strike Amber down and you'll win!" Topher called up. Alejandro frowned. "Come on! Forget her, she's only holding you back!" The blonde continued.

The Spaniard glanced at the sword, then at Amber and smiled. He lay the blade across the palms of his hands and presented the sword to Amber. "What are you doing?" Amber asked.

"I betrayed you last season, and that is something I've always regretted. So this time I refuse, you may strike me down and claim immunity as your own." Alejandro explained.

"What?! Alejandro are you serious?! I didn't help you win so you could give away your immunity!" Topher protested.

Amber sighed. "Alejandro, if you don't take immunity Jo will almost certainly target you."

Alejandro nodded. "And that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

"If that's what it takes." Amber picked up the sword, raised it above her head, plunged it down…and right past Alejandro to rest in her armpit. She coughed.

"Amber, what are you?!" Alejandro asked.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't let you do it." The bookworm pretended to gasp out, before falling backward as though about to plummet from the tower.

"Mi princesa?! No!" Alejandro managed to catch her hand before she fell.

The focus moved down to Chris who smirked. "And so the fair princess sacrificed herself for her true love. Alejandro gets immunity!"

"What? But Amber hasn't lost yet?!" Alejandro protested.

"I'd say martyring yourself counts as losing." Chris decided.

The focus moved to the left where Topher was seething.

/

Jo, Noah, and Gwen were all gathered outside the trailers. "Why are we here?" The goth asked.

"Simple, Alejandro's got a four person alliance. We can't let that go, so I'm here to ask you to vote for braids." Jo said.

"Amber's my friend." Gwen protested.

"And she voted your boyfriend out remember?" The jockette pointed out.

"But why Amber?" the goth asked.

"Because that will hurt Alejandro the most." Noah nodded.

Gwen sighed. "Okay, but even if we all vote for Amber that's not enough to beat Alejandro's four."

Jo smirked. "Don't worry about that. I've got the fourth vote taken care of."

/

The stage with the two giant Chris statues is shown as spotlights wave in front of it. A series of clips featuring Chris from last season ,several of them just him talking, roll over the screen in two parallel lines, a vertical line of clips include one where Chris is dress as a pirate rolls down between them, as two more clips, one of Chris in a helicopter and one of him with a clapboard, move out to either side, the focus zooms out to show a giant gilded Chris as fireworks go for in the background.

The amphitheater is shown, with the contestants sitting on their wooden benches with the voting devices in hand. Chris stood at the podium clad in his usual blue tux for the ceremony. "So with immunity, Alejandro is the first to win a golden Chris." The Spaniard caught his prize, next to him is the princess Amber doll still in the box. "Topher, you also get a gilded Chris, you live another week." Topher caught his own gilded Chris. "Also still in the competition, Noah, Gwen, and Sammy." The cynic, goth, and cheerleader caught their prizes. The focus shifted to Alejandro who's eyes widen as he realizes who's left.

Two spotlight land on Amber and Jo both of whom are glaring at each other. "Who will live happily ever after, and who will die penniless? The last gilded Chris, goes to…" The focus shifted between the two girls as they stared each other down. "...

…

…

…

…Jo." Chris threw the final Chris to the smug jockette.

"We should have had the numbers advantage." Alejandro frowned. Then his eyes widened. "Topher! You voted for Amber!"

The blonde looked shocked. "What, me? How do you know it wasn't Sammy?"

"I know Sammy, Amber is her best friend. She would never betray her." Alejandro glared.

"You have no proof." Topher huffed.

(confessional)

Alejandro: I need no proof. Topher has made his jealousy of Amber apparent. I had thought he'd be smart enough to set that aside for the sake of an alliance that would take him to the end game. Apparently I was mistaken.

Static

Amber stood up. "I'll miss you," Sammy said, giving her a hug. She started down the bleachers.

"Amber?" The bookworm turned to Gwen. "Sorry about voting for you. It was my best choice strategically."

"I know, and I don't blame you." Amber said. As she reached the bottom of the bleachers she turned and hugged Alejandro. "I'm gonna miss you."

"And I you chica." Alejandro whispered. The held each other for a bit.

"Alright wrap it up, this is a half hour show!" Chris said.

Alejandro and Amber parted and gave each other a chaste kiss. As Amber moved to begin her walk of shame she called back. "Sammy, I need to talk to you."

The twin followed her to the Lame-o-sine. Amber turned to her with a sigh. "Listen, I want you to try and keep Alejandro from going full villain."

"Me? Why me?" Sammy asked.

"Because I won't be here, and you have some kind of connection with him. I'm not sure what that connection is, but it might be enough to help." Amber said.

"Well, I'll try." The twin said as Amber entered the lame-o-sine.

(Confessional)

Sammy: Amber's counting on me. (She swallowed) No pressure.

Static

Alejandro:( Holding a now unboxed princess Amber doll and stroking its hair, a menacing look in his eyes.) Don't worry Amber, I will avenge you.

Static

Chris is now in the security room holding two princess Amber dolls. "Marketing says our target audience is too old for dolls. They're just not selling."

The focus shifted right to show Chef had an army of Amber dolls all dressed in old army uniforms. "Princesses attack!" The cook pulled the string on a little cannon between the dolls shooting the other half off.

"Hey target audience," Chris began. "Can Sammy stop Alejandro from going evil? How much trouble is Topher in? And what's Jo's plans? Find out on the next kiss filled episode of Total Drama Action!" The host made the two princess Amber dolls kiss. "Now you see Chef? That's how you play with dolls."

Chapter Text

The recap begins the with usual distance shot of the film lot. "Once upon a time on Total Drama Action." The focus moves up to the water tower decorated to look like a princess tower. Then Amber blowing a kiss to Alejandro. The remaining contestants in their 'disguises' are shown arguing about having to be blindfolded. The Sammy is shown slipping on rotten apples, and Gwen is shown having golden eggs shot at her. "There was a princess trapped in a tower. Well okay, Amber got stashed in some tower set for a couple of hours. But still A bunch of knight went to rescue her and along the way some were lost.

Jo and Alejandro are shown sword fighting then jumping out of the way as the animatronics foot crushed where they just were. Alejandro and Amber are shown about to kiss, then Alejandro is shown offering up the sword, and Amber is shown pretending to stab herself. "Dreams were crushed, and a prince prevailed but it was no fairy tale ending for Amber and Alejandro after Amber sacrificed herself to give Alejandro immunity.

Amber is shown being eliminated and talking to Sammy. Then the remaining six contestants are shown waving on the bleachers. "And so it was princess Amber who was eliminated while the rest of the contestants lived happily ever after."

This is revealed to be a picture in Chris' hands as he tore it right in half and threw it to the ground "Not! Come on, this is Total Drama Action forget happily we've got fights, danger, maiming, and this time their might even be murder! So keep your eyeballs glued, right here, on another homicidal episodes of Total. Drama. Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The mess hall is shown before cutting inside to find all of the remaining contestants are sitting at the same table eating what appears to be scrambled eggs in a taco shell."Breakfast tacos? Right, because eggs in a taco shell totally isn't an insult to Mexican based breakfast food" Gwen complained, taking a bite. It crunched loudly.

"I don't think eggs are supposed to sound like that." Noah remarked.

"Must have left some egg shells in." Gwen sighed, taking another bite. She paused and spat out a black usb. "What the?"

"Chef's really hit rock bottom, he's not even using actual food now." Jo smirked.

"Guys this is totally a clue to like the challenge or something." Topher said. "Right Alejandro?"

The Spaniard merely glared at him. "I suppose."

"There's only one way to find out!" Sammy said.

"Right, give me the usb." Jo said.

"Why can't you just give her the PDA?" Noah asked.

"Because it's my legal right so keep your hands off." The jockette glared.

Noah raised an eyebrow. Gwen rolled her eyes and handed the USB to Jo, who placed it inside the PDA's USB port. A video played on the screen, showing Chris in the security room. "I hope you had a filling breakfast, it was so delish. I was on cloud nine. I could have had a dozen of them, but enough about breakfast, it's time to 86 this combination, er conversation."

"Well, it looks like McLame has lost it." Jo deadpanned.

"I'm going to relax in a nice safe and secure place and get ready for today's challenge." Chris continued. "You're probably wondering what the challenge is," Sammy and Gwen nodded. "It will remain a mystery until you find me. Hopefully you'll clue in and track me down, but in the meantime I'm gonna crack open a soda and relax. See ya."

The video stopped. "Well unless the reward is super good I'm not bothering to track down Chris." Gwen said.

"I agree with her, let McLame wait for us." Jo said.

"But what if finding Chris gives you some kind of advantage in the challenge?" Topher said. "He was clearly trying to give us clues to his location. I bet Alejandro could figure it out."

"He's not talking to you, in case you hadn't noticed." Sammy said.

"Whatever, I can figure it out on my own. Let's see, he said he was on cloud nine. Has anyone seen a sky background somewhere on the lot?" Topher asked.

"Oh a sky background, that really narrows it down considering there are several of those for different times of the day. Is Space considered a sky background, because that makes it even more vague." Gwen pointed out.

"Yeah, I think if McLame is giving us clues he'd be more specific." Jo nodded.

(Confessional)

Topher: Alejandro's so mad at me. I'm kinda happy about it actually. Maybe Amber's elimination will unlock his villainous potential.

Static

"Come on, it's obvious what he meant. He said he'd be somewhere safe and secure." Noah said.

"Indeed, the solution is elementary." . Alejandro smirked, clearly happy to focus on something besides Topher.

"Are you two planning to elaborate?" Gwen asked.

"Do we need to? Fine, he mentioned cracking open a soda, you crack a safe." the cynic added

"So we need to find a safe." Gwen frowned, her eyes widened. "Wait! I have to go back there?!"

"Back where exactly?" Sammy asked.

"The safe from the heist challenge. Obviously." Noah deadpanned.

"Nice one Scrawny." Jo decided, everyone stood up to leave.

(confessional)

Topher: Okay I'm the expert on Total Drama though. Don't forget that.

Static

Everyone is gathered near the safe. "So what now?" Jo asked.

"Chris gave us the combination." Alejandro said.

"He's right." Noah remarked as he walked to the safe and put his hand on the dial. "He said he was on cloud nine, that he could eat a dozen breakfast tacos, then said we were gonna eighty-six the conversation, but he slipped up and said combination instead." The cynic finished putting in the combination and moved to open the safe. He groaned as the wheel slowly turned.

Impatient, Jo pushed him out of the way. "Scrawny, if we wait for you to get it open we'll be here all day." She complained, turning the wheel the rest of the way. As she opened the safe bright light spread over the contestants clearing to reveal the host in question wearing a deerstalker hat, a pipe and black bag. "So where's my prize?" Jo asked.

"Hey I put in the combination," Noah complained.

"But I actually let him out." Jo smirked.

"I hardly recall having mentioned some sort of prize." Chris said in a bad English accent as he took a puff on the pipe. He began to cough. "but thanks for releasing me it was getting stuffy in there."

"Are you actually smoking?!" Sammy asked.

"What? Oh no of course not." The host threw the pipe into his mouth and began to chew.

"That's weird even for you, McLame." Jo said.

"What? It's chewing tobacco." Chris claimed.

"So you want your mouth to taste like the inside of an ashtray?" Noah asked.

"Nah just kidding it's black licorice." The host said.

"I think that might be worse." Gwen gagged.

"Yeah you're right." Chris agreed, spitting out the remaining licorice. "That stuff's disgusting! Now it's time for mystery movie day! I've got a challenge for each of you. Tonight you're to meet me at the train station set."

"Ooh, like in that romance movie you starred in,? Fame-?" Topher said.

"Uh, who can say what the name was?" Chris cut him off. "I was in a lot of romance movies." he chuckled nervously. "But first I'll require full fingerprint and DNA samples from each competitor."

(confessional)

Noah: DNA samples? What, so he can clone us after we die to one of his stupid challenges?

Static

"Each competitor has to gather evidence from one of the other competitors. Which means its in your interest to prevent the other guy from getting your deets. Now go pack an overnight bag and get me my clues." Chris said.

/

The communal bathrooms are shown before the focus shifted inside to show Topher and Alejandro at the sinks. Topher looked apologetic. "I'm sorry I voted Amber out. I'll do my best to make it up to you."

"And how exactly do you intend to do that?" Alejandro said tensely.

"I'll do whatever I can to help you win the game." Topher promised.

"You really think that will be enough?" The Spaniard said, looming over the blonde.

"Um, maybe?" the blonde frowned.

Alejandro smirked. "Perhaps there is something you can do for me."

(confessional)

Topher: I'm not actually sorry at all, I just want an excuse to help Alejandro.

Static

We see that Topher has just finished applying a mud mask to Alejandro's face. "Is that good?" Topher asked.

"Perfect," Alejandro said. He took a paper from nearby and pressed one of Topher's now cream covered hands to it. Then he plucked a hair from Topher's head. "That will start to make up for it." with a smirk the Spaniard left the bathroom.

/

Jo was exiting the girl's trailer. Once she reached the bottom of the steps she tripped over a wire just outside of the girl's trailer and landed right next to a mud puddle. With a smirk, Gwen jumped out of the nearby bushes, then ran over, quickly dipped her hand in the mud puddle and pressed it to a piece of paper, then plucked a hair off of her head.

/

Sammy stepped out of the mess hall and gasped as she was hit with a water balloon filled with paint. She was now covered in blue paint including her hands. Jo jumped down from the tree she'd been in and ran over to Sammy taking her handprint on a piece of paper and plucking a hair from her head. Sammy groaned.

/

Noah is in the boy's trailer. He walked to Alejandro's bunk and pulled out a container of light green face cream. He nodded, went over to the small garbage can near the mirror and looked inside. He smirked and pulled out a paper towel with a light green handprint on it. He looked from the green mask to the handprint, his smirk widening. Then he picked up a brush with dark brown hair in it and took some out.

/

(Confessional)

Noah: And I didn't even need to get my hands dirty. (Suddenly Jo rushes in and paints his hand before taking the print. She plucked one of his hairs and exited. Noah gives the camera a flat look.)

Static

/

In the hall Topher is taking a plate of spaghetti from Chef. He turns around and trips on Sammy's foot, who is standing in line behind him. He fell to the floor and the sauce splashed on his hands, face and hair. Sammy bit her lip but pulled out a piece of paper and pressed Topher's sauce covered hand to it. Then plucked one of his hairs and gave him an apologetic grin.

/

The six contestants are now standing outside of what would appear to be an actual small train station were it not for the fact that the mountain range and surrounding desert behind them was clearly a backdrop. A bell rang as Chris exited the station still in the deerstalker hat holding a box. Gwen, Sammy, Alejandro, and Noah all dropped their evidence in, with the Spainard's eyes widening in shock at Noah's find before leveling a glare at him. Chris looked at Topher who looked at his feet in shame, before moving to Jo who put two bags in.

"So since I collected the most evidence, I get a prize right?" Jo said.

"I never said you'd get a prize for that." Chris said.

"Oh come on! Really?" Jo complained.

"Yes really, besides Gwen's the one who never got her DNA and fingerprints collected. If I was giving a prize to anyone it'd be her. Not that I'm giving any prizes yet." Chris said as he walked to the train.

"Have you forgotten what my job is?" Jo whispered.

"Have you forgotten I'm the one who gave you the job?" Chris whispered back, placing the box next to the bag he'd had earlier. "Now shut up and get on the train." Huffily Jo moved to get on. "Hey I haven't said all aboard yet!" Jo glared at Chris. "All Aboard!"

A train whistle was shown blowing and with a puff of steam the wheels were shown to begin to move. the steam covered the scene as a way of transitioning to the next.

/

When the steam cleared Gwen is sitting at one of the booth when Chris dropped his bag on the table and pulled out a paint roller. "What the?!" The Goth exclaimed as the host painted her hand with the black paint.

"Regulation to ride the train ma'am." The host said as he took her handprint, then he plucked a hair from her head.

Chef rolled in a trolley with sweets on it. Caramel apples, ice cream, train shaped sandwiches, and a small fountain of cupcakes. "Welcome the seven thirty-two to Funville. Let the party begin!"

"A party?" Sammy gasped.

"What's the catch?" Gwen asked.

"Gwen, you are so cynical." Chris tutted.

'I agree with her." Noah said.

"More for me, besides even if it is a trap are you sure you want to miss out on what could be the best food you get the rest of the season?" Jo said. She picked up one of the sandwiches. Sammy picked up an ice cream, and Noah took a carmel apple. Gwen gave him an odd look.

"What? She's right, this is too good to pass up." Noah said, taking a bite of the apple.

The train went dark. "Who turned the lights off?!" Topher asked.

"Umm, you can't kill the host!" Chris exclaimed, as the sounds of a scuffle were heard. The lights finally turned on.

"What was that about?" Sammy asked.

"Chris is dead!" Topher exclaimed, pointing at the corpse of the host.

Alejandro placed a hand on the host's wrist. "Well I'm not feeling a pulse."

"There's no way he's dead! I haven't won the million dollars yet!" Jo complained.

"Glad to see you have your priorities straight." Gwen deadpanned.

"He can't die?! Does anyone know CPR?!" Topher asked.

Noah sighed. "I regret taking those classes." He walked over and began to do chest compressions. There was no response. He placed his fingers on the host's wrist. "Still no pulse."

"What about mouth to mouth?!" Topher protested.

"If you think I'm putting my lips on Chris' you're delusional." Noah deadpanned.

"So, um, what do we do now?" Sammy asked.

/

Sammy was hyperventilating. "How did this happen?!"

"Calm yourself Sammy, panic solves nothing." Alejandro reassured her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Topher was lying next to Chris' body crying. "He was too young to die! He had his whole career ahead of him!"

A loud stomp echoed through the train and everyone turned to Gwen. "Alright enough! We have to calm down or we'll never figure this out!"

"Exactly." Noah said.

(confessional)

Noah: It was pretty obvious the corpse is a fake, especially after I did those chest compressions. Alejandro checked his pulse so he probably knows too.

Static

Alejandro: The corpse is made of rubber, but of course if this is a challenge it benefits me to keep such information to myself. I'm sure Noah has figured it out as well.

Static.

"Okay, does anyone have any idea on how to deal with this?" Gwen asked.

"If this is a train there should be an engineer. In an emergency he would be one to contact." Alejandro turned to Sammy. "Would you try the phone to the engine?"

Sammy ran over to the phone. "Hello? Is anyone there?" The twin began to shake. "I'm not getting a signal!"

"The murderer cut the phone connection!" Topher panicked.

"Oh come on! This is just McLame messing with us!" Jo said, walking over to the corpse. "There's no way he's actually dead, and I can prove it." Having declared this the jockette kicked the corpse in the balls, all male members of the cast are briefly shown wincing in sympathy, The corpse remained unmoved. "Huh, that usually works."

"Trust me if he's not screaming in agony, he's beyond pain." Noah noted.

"Wait, what if this is like the plane in the war movie episode. It is a set, maybe we can just climb out and find help?" Sammy asked.

"That's a possibility. We can't rule it out." Gwen noted.

(confessional)

Gwen: Okay is Chris actually dead? I don't know, probably not. Still if there's any chance he might be we need to take this seriously. And hey if it's a challenge we probably should take it seriously anyway. Getting help could be the way you win.

Static

"Okay but how do we get out?" Topher asked.

"That ceiling hatch would be apt." Alejandro noted, pointing at a hatch in the ceiling.

"I guess I could get up there." Sammy decided.

"No, I will go. Should there be an ambush I believe I am best equipped to deal with it." The Spaniard said.

"Hey if Al wants to risk his neck its no skin off my nose." Jo smirked.

"In the meantime I'll get Chris' outline drawn." Gwen reached into her pocket and pulled out a tube of teal lipstick, which she began to use to outline the corpse.

/

A trail of steam is shown before the focus moved out, revealing Alejandro was on top of a moving train his hair flying back from the force of the movement. The focus moved in on Alejandro's shocked face as he gasped, then the low ceiling of a tunnel ahead is shown. He began to pound on the hatch. "The train is real! Let me back in!" He screamed.

The focus shifted inside where everyone is looking up at the hatch as it is pounded on. The light's went out for a second time. "This isn't good!" Topher's voice said.

"Who keeps messing with the lights?!" Jo complained.

"Sammy I know you're scared but can you let go of my wrist?" Gwen asked.

"I'm not holding your wrist." Sammy replied.

The lights turned back on to reveal it was actually Noah holding Gwen's wrist. He was on the floor. He stood up quickly. "Sorry I was trying to pull myself back up."

A rumbling from above caught everyone's attention and moments later Alejandro fell through landing between them all. "I believe we can rule out it being a fake train." He noted, beginning to straighten his hair.

"Well if this is real a grave injustice has occurred!" Topher declared walking to the black bag Chris had been holding earlier. "Don't worry Chris, I will solve your murder!" He said taking out a magnifying glass. "And since we're stranded on this train everyone here is a suspect!"

"Are you serious right now?" Jo asked.

"Dead serious. What is more serious than the life of a cherished actor being snuffed out in their prime?" Topher asked.

Noah opened his mouth but was unable to say anything sarcastic before Gwen gasped. "How about the fact that the body has gone missing?!" The focus moved left to where the corpse had been, only the teal lipstick outline indicating where it had been.

"Corpse robbers!" Sammy gasped.

"This is obviously just one of McLame's setups!" Jo protested. "Are you really gonna let him get to you?!"

"While you waste time, I'm going to figure out who did this! After all this is a murder mystery any one of us could be the next one murdered." Topher said.

"Yeah, we should probably figure this all out." Noah agreed.

"Very well, I will search the other cars for clues." Alejandro decided, exiting the room.

"Whatever you can all waste time trying to solve a murder that didn't happen." Jo scoffed.

"I'll help, maybe we can find some fingerprints. Chris did have us collect them all." Gwen said. "Sammy, do you have any blush?"

"Yes." The twin tossed a brush and powder to the goth.

Topher began to pick up various things from the crime scene. An ice cream cone, a carmel apple, one of the sandwiches. All were placed into plastic bags.

"I found the evidence!" The focus shifted to Noah , who was right next to the lipstick outline. He picked up several strands of dark brown hair. "Some of Alejandro's hairs."

"No way, you have brown hair too!" Topher accused. "It could just as easily be yours!"

"My hair's a slightly different shade, and the texture is really different.." Noah said "Feel it for yourself."

Gwen rubbed her fingers across Noah's hair. "Wow, it's so smooth." Then she felt the hair Noah had picked up. "That's a lot coarser."

"I rest my case." Noah smirked.

Alejandro walked back in. "All the other cars are completely empty." His eyes widened. "What?"

"They think you did it." Topher said.

"Not only did Noah find your hair, but you've proved you can't be trusted." Gwen said. "And on top of that you were the only one unaccounted for when the body disappeared."

"Because I was on the roof!" Alejandro said. "You saw me fall through yourself!"

"You're smart, I'm sure you could have figured out a way back in." Jo smirked.

"I thought you didn't care about this?" Alejandro asked.

"I didn't, but if it means you lose I am now interested in seeing you caught." The jockette said, taking a pair of handcuffs out of the black bag from before and tossing them to Noah. He and Gwen began to approach.

"Amigos be reasonable!" Alejandro protested as he backed away. "What motive do I have to kill Chris?"

"You're a contestant on this show where Chris torments us?" Noah pointed out.

Alejandro frowned. "I cannot dismiss that, however-"

"Trying to struggle will only make you look more guilty." Sammy pointed out.

"Alejandro sighed.

/

The Spaniard's left hand is handcuffed to the coatrack in the wall.

(confessional)

Gwen: I'm not saying it's conclusive evidence, but Alejandro is still the prime suspect. So making it so he can't mess with anything is good. Besides, being handcuffed won't hurt him.

Static

Topher is crouched in front of Alejandro. "Listen I told you I'd make up for voting out Amber and I will. I'll get your name cleared. I know you wouldn't kill Chris, at least not in public."

The focus shifted to Jo, Gwen, and Noah. "So we've caught the 'murderer' now what?" Jo asked.

"If we want Alejandro to get taken in, we have to get back to the film lot. From there we can contact the authorities." Noah explained.

"True, in this kind of thing catching the murderer isn't enough. You have to make sure he goes down." Gwen nodded.

"Fine, let's see what we can do." Jo decided.

(confessional)

Sammy: Everyone but Topher was convinced Alejandro was guilty. And Topher's not the best judge of character. Still, something felt off.

Static

Noah's head is shown poking through a hatch in the bottom of the train car. He came back in. "Okay, if we can jam the wheels, we should be able to stop the train."

"But Jam them with what? Is there anything even in here that can stop a train?" Gwen asked.

"If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that quantity can be better than quality. Let's just throw everything we can find down there." Jo decided.

"Well I don't have a better idea." Noah shrugged.

The focus shifted over Topher and Sammy, who were both looking over the scene of any kind of evidence. "There's a lot of fingerprints, but everyone's been touching all sorts of things. Determining what fingerprints are relevant is impossible!"

"Look, Chris was killed by something. There had to be a method of murder. Somewhere on this train must be the key to solving this missing piece." Topher said.

"Right, we just have to keep looking." The twin nodded.

(confessional)

Topher: Honestly I never would have thought I'd end up teaming up with Sammy of all people. But since we're the only ones trying to clear Alejandro, it only makes sense.

Static

Sammy: I'm still upset Topher betrayed our alliance but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Static

/

Back at the hatch in the floor the three have gathered various items. "Okay what we got?" Jo asked.

"All I was able to find was this bottle of soda." Noah said.

"Give me that!" Jo threw the soda down, it did nothing to slow the train, and instead splashed Noah with the beverage. "What else?"

"I found this table lamp?" Gwen said.

Jo threw it down and the sound of glass breaking could be heard. "No dice." She walked off screen and both Noah and Gwen's eyes widened as she returned with the entire trolley that had previously held sweets. She threw it down the hatch and the shrieking sound of twisting metal was heard. The train did not slow. "Just how hard is it to stop a train?!"

"Watching you all struggle is quite cathartic given my current situation." Alejandro smirked as the focus shifted to him.

"I've cracked the case!" Topher declared.

/

The train is shown from the outside before cutting back in. Topher stood before the group directly in front of Chris' teal outline. "Look here." The blonde said pointing at a spot next to the outline. "A streak of caramel right near where the body was."

"So?" Gwen asked.

"So, I decided to check the trash can and look what I found." Topher pulled out a napkin with caramel fingerprints on either side of it. "This napkin has fingerprints on either side like it was used to strangle a person."

"What does that prove?" Jo huffed.

"Simple, who was the only one to begin eating a caramel apple before the murder occurred? Who had the perfect opportunity to find the napkin and throw it out? Who led the crusade against Alejandro, and has been surprisingly careless in his investigation considering this is an intellectual challenge?!" Topher accused.

Everyone turned to Noah. "What? You think I did this?"

"Topher made several good points." Gwen nodded.

"Cuff him!" Topher ordered.

Chris walked in through the car door dragging the corpse version of himself. He laughed. "I really had you guys." He held up the 'corpse' "I look good in rubber don't you think? Crackerjack special effects team."

"Please, I knew it was fake the whole time, as I assume Noah did?" Alejandro asked. Noah nodded.

"Nevertheless, the winner of today's reward challenge is the person who solved the crime. Which was Topher, although Noah clearly figured it out considering his behavior. If he'd have just told you it was him he'd have won." Chris smirked.

"What?! I thought as the murderer my job was to get away with the crime? You know, like in every murder mystery game ever!" Noah snapped. .

"Nope! Which means Topher wins the reward. A night at the movies with a friend of his choice." Chris smirked.

"Well the answer is obvious." Topher walked over to Alejandro and got him out of the handcuffs. "I know you're still mad, but I'm really trying to make it up to you."

"Very well I accept your request." Alejandro agreed.

/

At the amphitheater Topher and Alejandro were sitting on the wooden benches normally used for elimination. A projector shone a zombie on the screen. The focus cut close to show Chris wearing Badminton attire. "It's not badminton, its goodminton," The host swung his racquet and took the first zombie down. "Heck it's greatminton!" He hit a second zombie and knocked its head off.

Topher reached into the bag of popcorn next to him, he gasped in surprise as he realized Alejandro had done the same. "Alejandro?"

"Topher you really showed me your loyalty today. So I've decided to give you a second chance." Alejandro said.

"Really? Thanks, you won't regret it!" Topher said.

Alejandro cupped Topher's face and tilted his head up so their eyes met. "I know I won't."

(confessional)

Alejandro: I haven't forgiven Topher, but right now I need his vote. Besides if I lead him on and then betray him it'll make my revenge all the sweeter. (He pulled out a princess Amber doll and stroked her hair.) Isn't that right chica?

Static

Topher: Yes! He's totally using me! I'll have Alejandro back to his villainous self in no time!

Static

Noah: This is the second time I've been gypped out of a reward. I defused my bomb, and I solved the crime. How was I supposed to know confessing to the crime would get me the reward!? I'm overdue.

Static

Chris is sitting on the wooden bleachers with a bag of popcorn in his hand. "I gotta tell you, it's great to be able to share some quality time with someone who really gets me." The host ate a handful of popcorn. "Popcorn? No? Really though, it's a relief to be with someone I actually like," The focus moved out to show he was talking to his rubber double. "And you've got the most adorable nose. " The host tapped the dummy and it's neck bent backwards. The dummy fell off the bleachers.

"Oh hey," Chris chuckled nervously as he turned to face the camera, rubbing his head sheepishly. "You're here. Well, tune in next time for more movie madness on Total Drama Action!"

Chapter Text

The recap begins with the usual distance shot of the film lot. "Last time on Total Drama Action!" Gwen is shown taking a bite of a breakfast taco and getting a usb. Jo puts the USB in her PDA. Then Chris is shown giving everyone his message on Jo's PDA. Noah is shown trying to open the safe door, and being pushed out of the way by Jo who opened it herself. Finally Alejandro is getting Topher's handprint and hair. "Gwen took a big bite of who dunnit in our most mysterious episode yet. After the contestant cracked the code of Chris' mysterious message, They stealthily had to fetch prints and DNA from each other."

The contestants are shown on the train as Chef pushes in a trolley of sweets. Then every contestant except Alejandro is shown standing in the aisle as the lights go out. Then Topher is shown pulling out the magnifying glass from the black bag, and solving the murder. Noah's shown getting upset, then Topher is shown unlocking Alejandro's cuffs, and the two are shown at the movies with Alejandro looking into Topher's eyes. "A party reward on a train quickly turned into a hunt for my murderer. Somehow it was Topher who was declared the Sherlockiest of them all, upsetting Noah who had figured out he was the murderer and was trying to win the reward by getting away with it. In the end Topher took Alejandro to the movies where Alejandro pretended to make up with him as part of his ultimate plot."

The large projector screen at the amphitheater showed Alejandro's picture on it, then Topher's, then Noah's, after that Chris was shown with the rubber copy of himself watching the screen a bag of popcorn in hand. He accidentally knocked the dummy over and the scene flashed to Chris in front of trailers to end the recap. "Will Alejandro's plot for revenge work? Will Topher succeed in his quest to bring Alejandro to villainous glory? Will Noah ever manage to win a reward? Am I even cooler now that I'm alive again? Find out most of these things on this episode of Total. Drama. Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The episode proper begins with a flock of birds flying through the air, then the focus shifted down to show a deer eating grass and a pink bird on a tree branch. A cheerful hum went through the air, and the focus shifted to the communal restrooms. Topher exited in nothing but a towel humming to himself as he made his way to the boy's trailer.

"You're in a good mood. Did last night's 'date' go well?" Noah asked.

"It wasn't a date, but yeah, it did. Alejandro decided to give me a second chance." Topher explained as he began to brush his hair.

"Oh you must be thrilled." Noah muttered, looking out the window. "If you'll excuse me."

Outside the trailers Jo had just exited the girl's trailers holding a towel and walked off screen. Noah stepped out of the boy's trailer and followed. The scene flashed to the showers inside the communal bathrooms. Noah tiptoed into the showers and swallowed. "If anyone catches me in here, I'm gonna be dead." He moved towards Jo's clothing, which had been left on the floor, and very carefully removed Jo's PDA from her pocket. He swiftly placed it in the pocket of his khaki shorts and tip toed back out.

(confessional)

Noah: (Holding the PDA.) Okay I finally got my hands on it. I'm convinced Jo is hiding something on this thing. Considering how protective she is of it. I should be able to break in. I just have to hope I manage it before Jo kills me.

Static

Jo exited the shower in a towel. She reached in her hoodie pocket. Her eyes widened in shock and she began to look through her clothes hurriedly. "Where is it? Where is it?" determining it was gone Jo let out a roar.

/

At the trailers the roar echoed. The scene cut inside the girl's trailer, where both Sammy and Gwen were applying lipstick. This caused both girls to streak their lipstick off of their lips.

"Wow, Jo's really mad." Sammy said as she took a tissue in her hand and began to wipe the red lipstick off her cheek.

"So what else is new?" Gwen groaned, in the process of wiping teal lipstick off her own cheek.

"I don't know, this seems worse than normal." The twin said. At that moment Jo slammed the door of the trailer open, still in her towel, her clothes tucked under her arm.

"Where is it?" The jockette growled.

"Where is what?" Gwen asked.

"Don't mess with me, one of you must have taken it." Jo said.

"Taken what?" Sammy asked.

"My PDA! It's gone!" The jockette told them.

"Oh no, not the PDA you totally deserve to have considering you won a lawsuit." Gwen said sarcastically.

"Don't test me. Were you the one who took it? Out of jealousy?" Jo asked.

"Calm down! When was the last time you had it?" Sammy asked.

"In my hoodie pocket just before I showered." The jockette answered.

"Then it couldn't have been Gwen or I! We've been in here getting ready the whole time! So I can confirm Gwen didn't do it, and Gwen can confirm I didn't do it." The cheerleader said.

"True, unless you're in this together." Jo thought.

"Well, assuming we're not, that leaves the boys to have taken it. " Gwen said.

"It could be any of them. They're all suspicious. Slowpher likes to cause drama, Al's always looking for an edge in the game, and Scrawny has been known to use information against people." Jo determined. "I'm going to find out, nothing will distract-"

The sound of drums playing interrupted the jockette. The focus shifted outside to show all of the contestants exiting the trailers. In between the trailers is Chef playing on a green drum set. Chris stood next to him. "Nice of you to join us, today's movie genre is," He turned to Chef. "Drumroll please." The cook eagerly obliged, a few moments later Chris opened his mouth to speak only to realize Chef was still going. After giving him some side eye, the host snapped. "Okay, Ringo, the spotlight's not big enough for the both of us." Chef stopped giving him an annoyed look.

"Today's movie genre is-" Chris began, getting interrupted by Chef starting up another drum roll which was quickly stopped as Chris glared at him. "The rock and roll biopic!"

"Sweet! I love rock and roll!" Gwen cheered, pretending to play a guitar.

(confessional)

Jo: Normally I'd be stoked, but with my PDA stolen everyone is suspect. Everyone.

Static

"What's a Biopic?" Sammy asked.

"It's like a biography only it's a movie, and usually overly dramatic." Noah explained.

"Thank you, Noah, now shut up!" Chris snapped. The cynic rolled his eyes. "And stop taking my lines!" His features smoothed out. "Now any good rock and roll biopic starts with a kid from humble beginnings drawn into the seemingly glam world of rock music. After overcoming enormous hardship, the kid gets a break and makes it ginormous! Bigger than me even." The host bragged, gesturing to himself smugly.

"The kid is then drawn into a scandalous world of stuff I'm not allowed to talk about with sixteen year olds." Chris continued. "Things that lead to dangerous addictions, multiple divorces, the occasional night in the joint and an untimely death, while sitting on a toilet."

/

Chris is sitting in the security room. "Please do not try any of the aforementioned at home, or I will be sued, and would be unable to afford the maintenance of this fabulous smile." The host flashed a gleaming grin.

/

"A few things any certifiable rock god needs to know that I can talk about?" Chris said. "You need to know how to rock out on the guitar," the host mimed playing a guitar. "How to work the paparazzi," He placed a pair of sunglasses on. "And trash a hotel room." He threw the glasses away. "Any questions?"

"Are we playing actual guitars?" Gwen asked.

"Can you tell us more about the scandalous stuff?" Topher asked.

"Are you actually paying attention to these questions?" Alejandro asked

"Kind of, no, and yes." Chris smirked. "Alright people, time for your next big gig. Meet me at the big stadium in ten minutes." The host continued as he walked past Sammy and Gwen. "You can't miss it." Chef walked past with the drum kit in hand.

/

The contestants are all shown walking down the sidewalk. "I'm beginning to think Chris was lying about the stadium to mess with us." Alejandro huffed.

"Wouldn't put it past him." Jo added.

"I hope he's not mad at us for being late." Sammy sighed.

Chris is shown in close up with bits of a purple background in view behind him. "I said ten minutes, not ten hours!" The host said, checking his watch.

"You said to meet at the big stadium." Noah said as the focus pulled back to show the full background previously seen behind Chris. It featured a skull with two lightning bolts and two guitars on fire.

"And this is just the stupid gilded Chris Award ceremony." Gwen finished as the focus moved even further back to show that the background was set up on the stage where eliminations were held, only taking up a portion of it.

Chris smirked. "Not bad. First step to becoming a rock legend is to show up late for your own show. For your first challenge you're going to be rocking out on the guitar!"

"Luckily I am capable of playing several instruments, including the guitar." Alejandro bragged.

"I know a little. Trent taught me some basic cords before he was voted out." Gwen smiled. "Of course that was an acoustic guitar…"

"Hold on conclusion jumpers. Since I'ms guessing most of you can't read, let alone read music, you'll be playing a guitar shaped peripheral. " Chris explained. The focus shifted over to a screen with a dark purple background with light blue stars surrounding a red guitar peripheral. "The notes will be represented by colored notes on screen which corresponds with your guitar. You will play simultaneously during which you'll be eliminated. Every time you play a wrong note," Chris pretended to be shocked.

"You're not really gonna electrocute us? Are you?" Sammy gulped.

"Me? Electrocute you? Of course not! " The host reassured ." The guitar will electrocute you!" He laughed. "But don't worry you'll live though you may never be able to play the piano again."

"I can't play the piano anyway." Jo scoffed.

"Or play sports." Chris smirked.

"Are you kidding me?!" The jockette said.

(confessional)

Noah: Okay, I can't play an actual guitar, but a peripheral? I can play a peripheral. I have the highest score on the Guitar Zero online leaderboard, and I haven't been dethroned yet. Or at least I wasn't before this season started.

Static

Chris is sitting in his director chair. "Are you ready to rock?!"

All of the contestants are now on stage. Sammy on the far left with a banjo peripheral, followed by Gwen on a black Y shaped peripheral, Jo on a guitar with a union jack on it, Alejandro on a skull guitar peripheral, Noah on an acoustic guitar peripheral, and finally Topher on a red and white guitar. .

"Time to shred it like it's hot!" Gwen declared.

"Whatever that means." Noah added.

"And Rock on!" Chris declared.

The music began and the focus shifted to Topher playing his guitar as fast as he could. The focus shifted back to Chris. "Look Topher's on fire!" The host said. "Seriously, his guitar is on fire."

Chef approached the stage as the focus shifted back to Topher. His guitar finally caught fire. The blonde threw the guitar off him. "My hair! Is my hair on fire?!" Chef threw a bucket of water on the guitar which was unfortunately close enough to Topher to electrocute him anyway. "My hair!"

Gwen got excited and did a power slide… right off the stage. "Ouch!" Chris said as the focus shifted to him. "Well that's two down, three to go."

The screen with the guitar peripheral on it was shown briefly before the focus shifted down to the stage where Jo is only hitting a note every so often. Sammy hit so many wrong notes her guitar exploded. The focus shifted to Alejandro who was playing his guitar peripheral with great ease. Next to him Noah is also playing perfectly. The Spainard's eyes narrowed, Noah smirked back.

"Take him down Alejandro!" Topher cheered.

"Please, I bet five bucks Noah wins this." Gwen smirked.

The focus shifted back to Jo who was still only playing the occasional note. Then the focus moved out to show all three of the remaining contestants on stage. Alejandro and Noah were both hitting every note still, and they were giving each other intense stares. The focus shifted rapidly from Alejandro to Noah three or four times. Then Chris was shown watching in awe, and the three losers were shown cheering.

The focus shifted to all three contestants again, with Noah and Alejandro completely invested in their rock off. Jo meanwhile was still hitting the occasional note. Then she smashed her guitar into the stage, breaking it.

"Nice one Jo, you broke it." Chris said.

"Yeah and it was awesome." Jo smirked.

"Impressive, all of you, but the winner is," Chris said. Chef started a drumroll, the focus briefly shifted to Alejandro and Noah both looking expectant. "Jo!"

"What?" Noah complained.

"Que?" Alejandro said.

"Yes!" Jo cheered.

"But we hit every note." Alejandro glared.

"Yes, but you tried way too hard, and if there's one thing rock stars don't do, it's try. Even a little. You saw Jo." Chris said.

"Yeah, she hit every tenth note and broke her guitar." Noah complained.

"Exactly." Chris said.

"So what you're saying is if I was a lazy as I tend to be I'd have one?" Noah groaned. "I hate this game."

"I still beat you." Alejandro claimed.

"Please." Noah scoffed.

"Watch and learn scrubs." Jo said. "I'm certainly keeping my eye on both of you. Taken any electronics recently?" She glared.

"We'll be right back, as soon as Jo chills and both Noah and Alejandro get over their humiliating defeat." Chris smirked.

/

Several camera flashes go off, courtesy of three people whose hands are the only thing visible. One of which is clearly the Sasquatchwanakwa. Flashes continue to go off as the Lame-o-sine pulls up to the red carpet where Chef awaits wearing his black tail coat and purple tie.

The focus briefly shifted to the six contestants watching. Then back to the Lame-O-sine where Chef opens the door to reveal Chris in his powder blue tux, a microphone in hand. "Welcome back to the rock and roll Biopic Edition of Total Drama Action!" The host declared as he stepped on to the red carpet to face the contestants. "Now in order to become a true rock immortal you must know how to work the paparazzi. "

A large silhouetted crowd is shown along the red carpet of shame which now lead to a red door with a star on it. Several cutouts pop out of the floor to slide forward. The first is a white woman with a short bob of ginger hair in a striped teal tube top and khaki culottes holding a camera. The second is an overweight white man in a fedora with a pink jacket with white polka dots over a white shirt, Jean shorts and sneakers. He is also holding a camera. Third, another white woman with long brown hair wearing a pink sweatband with matching gloves, some sort of tube top hidden behind her arms, a jean mini skirt, long pink stockings and black boots. She looked like she was fangirling. Finally a white woman with short brown bob, wearing a red shirt with a very low dollar and off the cuff sleeves, jean shorts and brown sandals. She had a pencil in one hand and a pad of paper in the other.

"The first part of your second challenge is a an obstacle course of fans, photohogs, groupies, and autograph hounds." Chris explained. "The challenges starts at the Lame-o-sine, up the red carpet, past the obstacles and finally backstage." As the host spoke the focus moved up the red carpet, past the four cutouts to the star door and behind to show a small room with green walls, a green couch, a green chair and a large flatscreen Tv at the head.

"The contestants are shown as Chris continued. "One of you will win. The rest will be celebrity roadkill. Jo for winning the first challenge, you get our backstage pass," The host handed a card on a lanyard to Jo. So you'll start halfway."

(confessional)

Jo: How sweet would it be if this was real! (She looks at the card.) All access membership buff and tone spa?! (Chris popped his head in, his chest bare a towel draped over his shoulders.)

Chris: Yeah, I'm gonna be needing that!

Static

"Okay Gwen you're up first." Chris said. He held up a finger and declared, "Action!"

Gwen stepped out of the Lame-o-sine and began down the carpet. "And Gwen's on the move." Chris began, The fat man cutout popped up. "Paparazzi!" Gwen gave the camera some side eyes and walked past.

She walked on and the cutout of the woman with the paper pad popped out. "Autograph hound! Will she sign?" Gwen just walked past. "She won't! Ouch!"

. Both cutouts with camera's popped up ahead. "The tricky-pop-cam-fan attack. Will she make it?" Two flashes went off in Gwen's face and she used an arm to shield her eyes. "Ooh, and Gwen executes a face shield!"

Gwen continued onward to the Groupie who screamed. Gwen rolled her eyes and continued on. "Followed by a complete dismissal of the groupie." A new cut out of a male with a blonde mullet, wearing a green beanie and a long sleeved white shirt holding a blue bag. Gwen took the bag from it. "And a clean swag bag grab!" The host continued as the cutout retreated. 'Nice!"

Next was yet another new cut out, this one was a waiter with a pencil thin mustache holding a tray of sandwiches. Gwen grabbed one of those too. "And she takes the snack!"

Gwen reached the door and a cutout of a large bald bulky white man wearing sunglasses and a black shirt popped up. He stood with his arms crossed. "Final Obstacle: The Vet!"

Gwen glared. "Excuse me? I don't have time for this! I'm due on stage in five minutes!" The cutout retreated into the ground. Gwen walked into the green room.

"Spoke like a true rockstar!" Chris said as he approached. "You screwed up a couple times but you did grab the swag, and luckily for you you get to keep what's inside!" Gwen reached into the bag and pulled out a red book with Chris' face on the cover. "My autobiography, volume one."

(confessional)

Gwen: Of course all the swag was Chris themed. I'm surprised there isn't Chris themed toilet paper! (A hand threw a roll of Toilet paper into the room. Gwen unraveled it to reveal each square had Chris' face on it. She gave the Camera a flat look.) Really?

Static

"Jo you're up!" Chris said as the two stood a bit down the carpet. "Remember you get to skip the Lame-o-sine and half the red carpet." The lame-o-sine saw shown along with all of the contestants who hadn't gone yet." And action!"

Jo ran forward and the two cutouts with cameras popped up. "The tricky pap-fan-cam attack!" The jockette punched out the cutouts' faces. "Ooh. Punching fans isn't a good look."

Jo continued to run forward and the autograph hound popped up. Jo threw the pad out of her hand, and ran on. The groupie popped up next and Jo shoulder slammed into it. Breaking the whole thing in half. "Tough luck for the groupie."

The waiter popped up and Jo threw the tray away, then kicked the cutout of the bouncer in half. Before walking inside. "Ooh, girl, that's a lawsuit waiting to happen. Massive injury claims from the fans, groupie, and the bouncer."

"Who cares? I got here in record time." Jo glared storming off.

"Someone's in a bad mood. What a rockstar!" Chris said.

(confessional)

Jo: I'm still furious about my PDA being stolen, I had to take out that aggression on something,

Static

Noah stepped out of the Lame-o-sine. Every single cutout, several of which had been patched up with duct tape, was met with exactly the same thing. Absolutely nothing, Noah merely walked past the paparazzi, the autograph hound, the fans, the groupie, the swag, and the canapes. The sole expectation was the security guard. "Dude either you let me in there, or you deal with the army of angry fans made by my absence. No skin off my nose either way." Noah said. The cutout withdrew and Noah walked in.

"Okay, there's such a thing as being too distant. Even for rockstars." Chris told him. Noah didn't even answer.

/

Next to exit the Lame-o-sine was Sammy. She nervously waved to the crowd and headed down the carpet. She tripped on a snag in the carpet and fell to her knees. Tears in her eyes Sammy stood back up and continued, only to be blinded by the paparazzi. She rubbed her eyes and continued walking forward, clearly still stunned by the flash. She ran right into the autograph hound. "Oh my gosh I am so sorry!" Sammy gasped, backing away.

Right into the groupie who fell apart despite the duct tape. "I'm so,so, sorry! The cheerleader said, running the rest of the way to the door in an attempt to avoid breaking anything else. She ran right into the bouncer, making him fall apart as well. Sammy sighed and walked into the green room where Chris gave her a disappointed shake of the head. Sammy slumped over.

/

Alejandro exited the Lame-o-sine and walked confidently to the paparazzi. He flexed for the camera, making his eyebrows wiggle suggestively. The autograph hound popped up and Alejandro signed it with ease. He blew a kiss at the female cut out with the camera and gave the male cutout a wave.

When the groupie popped out smirked and threw his shirt at her. He walked past the swag and turned down the sandwich. Leaving only the bouncer. "Do you know who I am? I'm the one in charge of your payment, which could be severely cut if you cause me trouble." The cut out retreated, and Alejandro entered the green room.

"Nice." Chris nodded.

/

Topher exited the Lame-O-sine with a sparkling smile. The paparazzi took their shots and Topher leaned forward and blew a kiss at the camera, an eyebrow raised seductively. Next was the autograph hound, Topher happily signed.

Next was the Groupie. Topher pulled out a pen and signed her stomach. He took the swag and pulled out a blue shirt with Chris' face on it. He put it on, then continued to the waiter where he accepted a canape. Then he walked to the bouncer.

"Hey, handsome." Topher smirked, running a finger over one of his arms. "You're so burly, I like that in a man." The cut out retreated and Topher entered the green room. Chris gave him a thumbs up.

/

Once again the three photographers, one clearly the sasquatchnakwa, flashing their cameras. Chef handed a large brown envelope to Chris. "And now the moment you've all been waiting for! The photographic evidence! Let's see your best shots shall we?"

The focus shifted to an over the shoulder shot to show Chris picking up a stack of photos. "Gwen blocked," The first picture was Gwen using her arm to shield her face. "Jo socked." The next photo was Jo moving to punch the paparazzi. "Noah snubbed." Noah walking past, not even looking at the camera. "Sammy tripped," Sammy fell forward. "Alejandro posed," Alejandro flexing his bicep and wiggling his eyebrows. "But Topher posed better" Topher leaning forward, blowing a kiss at the camera with a seductive brow raised.

"Which means we have a winner!' Chris declared, dropping the photos back into the envelope. Alejandro, Topher, and Jo looked expectant. "Topher!"

The focus shifted to Topher smirking. "Yes! Do I know how to interact with fans or what?!"

"What?! But I had the fastest time!" Jo complained.

"Who said this was a race? The paparazzi means exposure, and Topher not only showed his best side, but affection towards his fans in the photo. So despite Alejandro's good attempt,. Topher wins an advantage in the next part of the challenge where you'll compete for invincibility,"

(Confessional)

Jo: Between my PDA being stolen and losing this challenge. I'm in more than a bad mood. Hopefully this last challenge plays to my strengths.

Static

"Finally, the ultimate rockstar challenge," Chris began, having changed back into his casual clothes. "Trashing a hotel room."

The hotel room set had beige walls; the back wall held two paintings, one of a forest and one of a sunset, a single window with a red curtain and a large mirror in front of which was a desk with an off orange rotary phone on it. The left wall contained a door, a chest of drawers with a table lamp, and a photo of Chris on top, and just above that a smaller mirror. The right wall had a large window, a brown couch, and a TV on a side table. To the left of the TV is a cloche on a serving trolley, and just to the left of that is a fake palm tree. In the center was a large maroon bed.

"You've got thirty seconds on the clock, with Topher getting an additional ten seconds for having won the first part of the challenge." The host continued. The blonde looked smug while Jo grit her teeth. "And action!"

The scene pulled out to show Chef in the security room watching the challenge on a monitor. He had also changed back into his normal clothes.

/

The contestants were shown one at the time trashing the place. Starting with Sammy, the cheerleader frowned in thought before knocking the off orange rotary phone off the desk and breaking the pencil in half.

The scene cut to Chef and Chris in the security room. Neither looked impressed as Chris wrote something on a clipboard.

Noah knocked the lamp off of the chest of drawers and picked up Chris' picture. He broke the glass front and pulled out the actual picture which he began to rip up.

In the security room Chris shed a tear as he noted down Noah's destruction.

Topher stood against the back wall and removed the sunset painting from it, then began to rip the middle out of it. Once finished he reached for the second one, presumably to do the same thing.

(Confessional)

Topher: Well I can't destroy anything too hard it might break my nails, and I just did my cuticles See? (Topher flashes his shiny perfectly manicured nails at the screen.) What kind of monster would I be if I ruined these? Immunity isn't worth it.

Static

Alejandro is pulling every drawer out of the chest of drawers and throws one into the larger mirror. He also breaks the small mirror above the chest of drawers and knocks the remaining frame over.

(confessional)

Alejandro: I must admit, I'm struggling with this challenge a bit. I have stayed in many hotels in the past and mi Mami taught me from an early age to treat the furniture with respect. It wouldn;t look good for a foreign diplomat's family to destroy the hotel room.

Static

Chris and Chef are shown in the security room. The host looks satisfied as he writes on his clipboard. The scene transitioned to Jo breaking a TV screen and throwing both it and the side table it's sitting on out the right window.

The focus shifted over to Gwen, who picked up the cloche from the severing tray revealing a tray of sandwiches. Both Cloche and a tray of sandwiches are thrown out the back window, breaking it with a loud sound.

Gwen smirks, but Jo steps behind her to throw the entire serving trolley out the right window, breaking even more of it. The jockette jumped up and tore down the boom mike. Some stuffing hit her and the focus shifted to Gwen ripping apart all the couch cushions sending stuffing flying everywhere.

Jo walked to the fake palm tree and broke it in half over her knee. The focus shifted to Gwen who had rolled up the maroon carpet and threw it against the left wall, knocking the entire thing over.

(confessional)

Jo: This challenge was really good for getting my aggression out. Not that it matters. I've been watching everyone all day, and none of them are acting nervous or giving any sign that they might have taken my PDA. I'm starting to think I need to take direct action.

Static

Jo has lifted up the bed and is about to throw it when Chris called time. Reluctantly. Jo put the bed down. Chris joined everyone on set with a stopwatch in hand. "Topher you now have an additional ten seconds. Go!"

Topher could do nothing but sit there looking around the room for something else to break. The back wall fell over of its own accord. "I see your predicament. Thanks to Jo and Gwen there's nothing left to destroy. Both of you girls did a great job, but there can be only one winner and that winner is…Gwen!"

"Yes!" The Goth cheered.

"What?! Why her?" Jo protested.

"You both did about the same amount of damage, but Gwen's the one who knocked a wall over. Which means Gwen wins invincibility!" Chris declared. "Now you gotta decide who gets booted from the band.

/

Noah is in the security room messing around with Jo's PDA. With a smirk he remarks. "Finally. Now what are you hiding.." Noah pressed a few buttons and began to look at something. His eyes widen in shock before narrowing.

/

The moon is high in the sky as the focus shifted down to a gazebo with two bridges. Alejandro, Topher, Gwen and Sammy are all there. "Did you get a note about meeting here too?" Gwen asked.

"Yes, so I assume you were not the one to send them?" Alejandro asked. Gwen shook her head.

"Good everyone's here." A droll voice remarked as Noah joined the four.

"What's this about Noah?" Sammy asked.

Noah pulled out Jo's PDA. "You're the one who took it!" Topher gasped.

"Dude, do you have a death wish?" Gwen asked.

"Look I know it was dangerous but I thought Jo was hiding something. And I was right!" Noah said.

"What's everyone gathered around for?" Jo asked, as she arrived. Her eyes landed on Noah holding her PDA. "I knew someone took it! Scrawny, you little thief!" She moved to take her PDA back, but Noah tossed it to Alejandro. "Read the E-mails!"

Jo turned to go after Alejandro, but the Spaniard had already begun reading. His eyes narrowed. "There's e-mails from Chris on here. You didn't win a lawsuit at all! You're a mole!" Everyone gasped.

Jo huffed. "For all you know Scrawny put those in there to frame me! He's had my PDA all day, who knows what he did to it."

"That's true." Topher smirked.

"Whatever. The votes will decide who's telling the truth." Noah noted.

The stage with the two giant Chris statues is shown as spotlights wave in front of it. A series of clips featuring Chris from last season ,several of them just him talking, roll over the screen in two parallel lines, a vertical line of clips include one where Chris is dress as a pirate rolls down between them, as two more clips, one of Chris in a helicopter and one of him with a clapboard, move out to either side, the focus zooms out to show a giant gilded Chris as fireworks go for in the background.

The amphitheater is shown, with the contestants sitting on their wooden benches with the voting devices in hand. Chris walked to the podium clad in his usual blue tux for the ceremony. "Now for Total Drama. Six left one must go, and it won't be Gwen." An over the shoulder view showed Jo voting for Noah, and Noah voting for Jo.

The focus shifted back to a normal view to show Topher making his vote, then Alejandro Sammy and Gwen all making theirs. On stage Chef, his his sparkly hot pink dress, approached Chris with five more gilded Chris awards. "Alright, gilded Chris awards go to, Gwen" The goth caught hers. "And Sammy." The twin caught hers. "Topher, and Alejandro." Both guys easily caught their reward.

Noah and Jo are shown glaring at each other. "Only one left," Chris said as the focus shifted to show the single remaining gilded Chris clutched in Chef's gloved hand. "And the gilded Chris goes to…" The focus shifted to Noah and Jo staring each other down. "...

…

…

…

…

… Noah." With a smug look on his face Noah caught his award.

"What?! You took the word of someone who would steal over mine?!" Jo complained.

"Well, those e-mails were pretty incriminating." Sammy whispered.

"And the way I figure it, we can't risk keeping you if it is true. Even if it isn't so what? We can vote Noah out next time." Gwen said.

"Besides, after all the unfair boons you've been getting I'm inclined to get rid of you anyway." Alejandro smirked.

"This isn't over, you hear me?!" Jo snapped. "I'm not done-"

"Chef, please escort Jo to the lame-o-sine." Chris smirked.

The hulking man picked Jo up over his shoulder. She began to beat on his back. "Let go of me! I've gotta kill Scrawny!" The jockette complained as the cook took her down the walk of shame.

"I don't get paid enough for this." Chef said as he tossed her into the Lame-o-sine.. It drove off.

"And on that note, TDA says goodbye to its mole. It was fun while it lasted. At least she caused a lot of Drama while she was here and the reveal of her true purpose was dramatic as heck! I can't wait to see the ratings!" Chris chuckled. "But tune in next time for another hot rocking episode of Total Drama Action!"

(Bonus Clip)

Jo is sitting in the Lame-o-sine with her arms crossed. "Stupid Scrawny. I guess I should have kept a better eye on my PDA. Whatever, eventually Scrawny will get voted out too, and then I can take revenge on him. And you know, It was a good move on Scrawny's part. I can admit that." She sighed. "So I guess I go on the aftermath now?"

Chapter Text

The recap begins with the usual distance shot of the film lot. "Last time on Total Drama Action!" Gwen is shown sliding off the stage holding a guitar peripheral, Noah and Alejandro are shown dueling guitars, Jo is shown punching out the cutout paparazzi's faces, then Sammy is shown knocking over the rotary phone and breaking a pencil. The short montage ended with Topher ripping out paintings."Our contestants were able to let loose by rocking it, socking it, and trashing it like rockstars.

Gwen is shown throwing a rolled up rug across the room, knocking it over, tearing up couch cushions, and throwing the clothes and tray of sandwiches out the window, Jo is shown breaking the TV, throwing the serving trolley, and breaking the palm tree. "Jo and Gwen both showed their destructive side, but in the end Gwen was the winner."

Noah stealing the PDA, Jo looking for it, Noah breaking into it, is all shown. The meeting between everyone is shown, along with Jo trying to get her PDA back. Then the elimination is shown, with Chef having to carry Jo away. "And that wasn't the end of Jo's back luck streak, after stealing her PDA Noah broke into it and discovered the e-mail's i'd been sending her. Which he then exposed to the other contestants. Despite Jo attempts to get her PDA back or frame Noah it was she who took the walk of shame."

Alejandro and Topher are shown talking in the boy's trailer. The Noah is shown reading. "When will Alejandro betray Topher? Will Noah be prepared for what I have in store as payment for getting rid of my mole?" Chris is shown at the trailers to end the recap. "All this and more, on another thrilling episode of, Total. Drama. Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The episode begins with Gwen and Sammy entering the trailer. "I can't believe Jo was a mole." Sammy sighed.

"I can. It makes way more sense than Jo winning a lawsuit.' Gwen said.

"Yeah, but that doesn't make Noah stealing her PDA right." Sammy said.

(Confessional)

Gwen: Okay, that's true. Noah really isn't that trustworthy. At the same time though he's the only one not allied with Alejandro besides me. I'm doomed unless I can convince Sammy to join Noah and I in voting out Alejandro.

Static

Gwen is now in her bunk while Sammy is in hers. "So, have you considered breaking away from Alejandro?"

"Not this again." The twin sighed.

"Look you and I know Topher's untrustworthy, and so is Alejandro! You really think he's forgiven Topher?" Gwen asked.

"Maybe?" Sammy said doubtfully.

"Face it Sammy, he's just stringing you and Topher along." Gwen sighed. "And the sooner you realize that the better."

(confessional)

Sammy: I know Alejandro isn't the most trustworthy guy, but I feel such a strong connection with him. Also I promised Amber I would try to stop him from going full villan.

Static

Inside the boys trailer the three are all in bed. "Noah, have you ever thought about joining-" Topher began.

"No." Noah cut him off.

"But I haven't finished yet." Topher frowned.

"You don't need to. It's all too obvious what you were about to ask. Alejandro has enough cheerleaders, I don't need to join them." the cynic snapped.

"Cheerleader?" the blonde blinked.

"Or do you prefer suck up?" Noah smirked.

"Noah, there is no need for name calling. Besides with your intellect you should be above such petty insults." Alejandro said.

"Oh really, No eres más que un narcisista mezquino." The cynic said. (You are nothing more than a petty narcissist.)

"La adulación no te llevará a ninguna parte." Alejandro smirked back. (Flattery will get you nowhere.) Noah huffed.

(confessional)

Noah: I thought insulting Alejandro in his native tongue would get a reaction out of him. No such luck.

Static

"Whatever, I'm going to sleep." Noah replied,settling under his blanket and falling asleep nearly instantly. The world around him faded to something green.

/

Noah's arms are now wrapped around his pillow as a gong woke him. The focus zoomed out to show the five contestants were in a clearing surrounded by trees, their bedding the only thing under them. Gwen and Sammy are on the left side while Noah, Topher, and Alejandro are on the right.

"What the heck?!" Gwen exclaimed

"¿Dónde estamos?" Alejandro asked.

Topher looked around and his eyes sparkled in glee. "We're in Wawanakwa!"

A wind blew leaves across the clearing, stirring up a pair of trees through which Chris floated wearing a karate gi and a headband with a Japanese rising sun printed on it. He floated across the three guys.

"Wow!" Topher gasped.

"¡Increíble!" Alejandro remarked as Chris flipped, did several karate punches and kicks, and ended on a traditional bow. He unhooked himself from a set of wire. "Ah, and here I thought you might have done something worth my admiration. My mistake."

"Honorable competitors," Chris began, ignoring Alejandro's insult. "Welcome to the Total Drama Kung fu reward challenge. Shot on location here in the beautiful Japanese forest." The host claimed despite the forest very clearly being the one from Wawanakwa. "Today we pit girls against boys."

"How is that fair? The boys have three to our two!" Gwen pointed out.

"Calm down, only two of the boys will be competing against you. Noah will be doing a separate kind of challenge." Chris smirked.

"I will?" Noah blinked.

"Yep," Chris leaned close to Noah and whispered. "Think of it as payment for getting rid of my mole. Jo was going to do this, but since she's not here now it falls to you." He stood up and cleared his throat. "So long as he does what I say he'll get a shot at the reward."

(confessional)

Noah: So apparently I'm going to be Chris' assistant for this challenge. My first job is to spy on the two teams and pick one to sabotage. Easy enough, so long as I keep my mouth shut my presence is pretty understated.

Static

"In kung fu movies," Chris continued as the host walked towards the girls. "Actors train with stunt choreographers before they film their fight scenes." The host turned and moved back towards the guys. "So today each team will have a trainer and a fighter. Pick your roles and train as hard as you can in the kung fu style of your choice." He bowed again and said in a terrible Japanese accent. "The battle begins when noble heron flies east."

"And in layman terms that means?" Alejandro asked.

"Four hours. Chris explained as he hooked himself to his harness once more. "May the best fu win excelsior!" With that the host was pulled out of the clearing.

"I volunteer to fight Alejandro! With you as my teacher, nothing will stop me!" Topher said.

"You seem eager. Very well then." Alejandro smirked.

(Confessional)

Alejandro: Normally I'd insist upon doing the fighting myself, but this is merely a reward challenge. I could use an excuse to put Topher through pain without blowing my cover of having forgiven him. (He pulls out the Princess Amber doll.) He will receive his comeuppance chica. I swear it.

Static

Topher is knelt down rubbing the body of something with a rag. The focus zoomed out to show it was the Lame-o-sine "And you're sure this will help me win?"

The focus shifted right to Alejandro leaning against the hood of the vehicle, admiring his reflection in a part of the limo already waxed. "It will help your upper body strength at least a little."

Noah is seen in the background popping out of the bushes and writing something down. Chris walked to the limo, still in his gi, and smirked. "Can you make him wax my car too?"

Alejandro looked around. "Which car is yours?"

"All of them!" Chris laughed as the focus zoomed out to show the entire parking lot is full of cars. /

Sammy's hand is in shot holding a tongue depressor tipped with wax. The focus moved back to show Gwen right next to her. The head of a sleeping chef hatchet wearing his purple swim goggles is just in frame. "Alright, if you can manage this, Topher shouldn't be a problem. Now wax on," Sammy waxed something off screen. "Wax off!"

The focus moved out a bit to show Chef Hatchet was lying on a purple lounge chair in his purple swim trunks and that Sammy had just waxed the cook's chef. At Gwen's call she tore the strip off, revealing a bright red strip of skin where the wax had been. Chef shot up and screamed running around in pain. As he passed a nearby bush Noah popped up and laughed as he noted something down.

/

Gwen is crouched while Sammy does push ups. "Come on! You've got this! As much as I hate to admit it, being a cheerleader takes some muscle!" Gwen looked over at Alejandro, who was standing on Topher's back while he did push ups. A smirk on his face. "Look Sammy, Alejandro is standing on Topher. Isn't that kinda cruel?" Gwen asked.

"I'd do the same to Amy if I could get away with it." Sammy gasped. "Besides, if Topher's training so hard maybe I should too. Do we have any weights I can put on my back?"

Gwen rolled her eyes and walked off screen returning with several books which she placed on Sammy's back. Sammy kept going, "You know this is much easier than doing push ups while Amy sat on my back."

/

Sammy is standing on one leg on a wooden pillar in the middle of some water. Gwen rowed up in a red canoe with a sandwich. "Here, I stole this from the kitchen." She tossed it to Sammy who caught it and began to eat. "Just wanted to show you I've got your back."

/

Alejandro placed a cloche on the picnic table in front of him. Topher sat across as Alejandro seated himself. "Are we sharing lunch?! Topher gasped.

"Indeed, " Alejandro explained, picking up a set of chopsticks and handing them to Topher. He then picked up his own. He removed the cloche to reveal a pile of pot stickers. "A lesson in reflexes, you can eat anything you manage to get to your mouth."

Topher smirked. "I'm not great with Chopsticks but that doesn't seem too hard." The blonde picked up one of the pot stickers with his chopsticks, but ended up dropping it on the way to his mouth. Alejandro used his own chopsticks to grab it out of the air and ate it.

"Delicious. Try again Amigo, I'm sure you'll get it this time." Alejandro said, an undertone of taunting in his voice. Topher once again picked up a pot sticker with his chopsticks and once again dropped it. Alejandro easily caught it with his own chopsticks and ate it. "Come now amigo you're never going to get any lunch like this."

(confessional)

Alejandro: Watching as Topher grew more and more frustrated was incredibly cathartic for me. Chica if you're watching, I hope you find his pain enjoyable as well.

Static

Topher: You know, when I thought about sharing lunch with Alejandro, this wasn't how it went in my mind.

Static

/

Sammy is attempting to beat up a straw doll in a karate gi that has been tied by a tree. She groaned. "This is hopeless."

"Just pretend its Amy and I'm sure you can do it." Gwen smirked.

Sammy stared at the doll, its head transformed into Amy's "You're never gonna win this fight, Samey." She taunted.

"My name is Sammy!" The cheerleader screamed, punching the tree hard enough it fell over. She blinked. "What happened?"

Noah popped up in a bush behind them. "Sammy can gain great strength if she channels her hatred of Amy." Noah noted down.

/

A large red punching bag is shown hanging from a tree before the focus zoomed out to show Alejandro was holding in while Topher looked nervously. "Alright amigo. The key to hitting someone is to desire nothing more than their defeat at your hands!"

"I don't know about this Alejandro. What if the bag swings back and hits my face, or I break a nail punching it?"

"Forget about that amigo. Think of something you hate, and attack." Alejandro said.

Topher took a deep breath. "Something I hate?" Above his head a vision of Amber kissing Alejandro fades in. Topher glared and kicked the punching bag right off the branch.

"Excellente! Just think of that when you fight and you'll win." Alejandro smirked.

/

The top of a pagoda is shown with the sun cresting over some hills in the background. The focus zoomed out to show two small pagoda's to the left and right of the larger one. Down and to the left of the leftmost pagoda is a large gong. In the center of it all was something hidden behind a dividing screen. Topher and Alejandro come in from the left, while Sammy and Gwen come in from the right.

In a puff of pink smoke Chris appeared in front of the divider, still in his karate gi, playing a pan flute. He threw it away and began. "Most worthy competitors, welcome to the Total Drama Kung Fu Showdown!"

Sandaled feet leap across the tops of several pine trees, the focus zoomed out to show it was Chef Hatchet, now dressed in a purple hakama and shitagi with his hair in a chonmage style. He leapt from the top of the gong over to the left most pagoda then flipped down into the arena where his katana made several slices in the divider. It burned away to reveal two robot suits that looked like giant rock'em sock'em robots.

"See the fighters go in these robot suits, and the trainers operate them using these joysticks." Chris explained holding up two old video game joysticks.

"What the heck was the training for if I'm not in control of my movements?!" Sammy asked.

"It's a lesson in zen oh student." Chris replied tossing one joystick to Gwen and the other to Alejandro. "Two minutes til the match begins. Suit up fighters." Chris bowed and disappeared in another puff of pink smoke.

Gwen is shown moving the joy stick around. "Okay this controls the hands, this controls the feet…"

Alejandro is also using the joystick but he appears to have it figured out already as he makes Topher do the robot. "This is remarkably responsive."

Chris appeared in another puff of pink smoke. "Enough practice!" He gestured to his left to show Noah standing at the gong. He is wearing a pink kimono with a blue Nagajuban, a red obi, and black geta. His face is painted white, and his lips are painted red. He is wearing a black wig in the geisha style. In his right hand is a mallet, and in his left a pink paper fan. "When the beautiful Geisha sounds the gong the match will begin."

Noah reluctantly fluttered the fan. The focus shifted to Alejandro who began to laugh. He wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. "As amusing as this is, you are technically mixing up your Asian cultures. Kung Fu is Chinese and Geisha are Japanese."

"No one cares Alejandro." Chris said.

Noah walked up to Gwen and Sammy. Opening his fan so his face was blocked. "Topher's got a good kick."

"Why are you helping us?" Gwen asked.

"Alejandro's on the other team, that enough reason for you?" Noah asked, snapping his fan shut.

"Thanks Noah." Sammy whispered.

"Hey! What's Noah talking to them about?!" Topher complained."Hey Noah over here!"

Noah huffed and stomped over to the two boys. "Yes?"

"Were you giving them advice?" Topher asked.

"Maybe, maybe not. You'll never know." Noah replied.

"Well then, would you be open to giving us advice?" Alejandro asked.

"How about no? You're smart Alejandro, you should be able to win without help." Noah smirked.

(Confessional)

Alejandro: He definitely gave the girls advice.

Static

Topher: You know if I didn't know Noah was a guy, I might mistake him for an actual geisha girl. It's a hot look for him. (He raises an eyebrow at the camera.) Hey, I appreciate hotness in all its forms.

Static

Chris stood with his hands together as Noah stepped next to him. "So which team got the inside track?"

"I gave it to the girls but that doesn't mean they'll win." Noah replied.

"True, but it'd be boring if it was a sure thing." Chris said.

"By the way, I will make you suffer for forcing me to wear this." The cynic warned.

"Ooh, I'm so scared. Just ring the gong, Noah-chan." The host smirked.

Noah walked over to the gong and hit it making the area shake.

"Let the match begin!" Chris declared.

Gwen moved her joystick and made Sammy's blue robot move forward. Across the way Alejandro did the same with his Topher's red robot. Once the robots reached each other Topher's kicked Sammy's. "Be gentle with my body."

"That's not really my choice." Sammy said, punching Topher's chest.

Alejandro was shown using the joystick to make Topher's robot headbutt Sammy. "Well then, you'd better not hold that against me."

Gwen is shown using the joystick to make Sammy kick Topher's knees. Then Topher hit Sammy's chest. Sammy hit Topher in the stomach, Topher kicked Sammy repeatedly in the legs, sending the blue robot backwards. Sammy kicked Topher's headpiece. A small piece of shrapnel broke off and scratched Topher's cheek. "My face! You scratched my gorgeous face!"

Alejandro's eyes narrowed. "Hitting the face is low." He said as he used his joystick to send Topher flying forward. Gwen was shown and she tried to use her joystick but it broke.

The focus shifted to a wide eyed Sammy. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Both of the red robot's legs kicked Sammy's blue robot in the chest breaking it apart and sending Sammy flying to the ground.

"Ooh that's gotta hurt!" Chris said, "Think she's still alive? Come on back and find out." The host turned to face off screen. "Medic!"

/

A close up of Sammy's face is shown and a delicate bronze hand tapped her on the head. "Hey Samey get up." Noah remarked as the focus zoomed out to show him as the one trying to wake her.

The cheerleader's eyes snapped open and she slapped him. "It's Sammy!"

"I know I just figured it'd wake you up. Guess what, it worked." Noah deadpanned.

"And the winners are the boys!" Chris declared. The boys cheered and the girls groaned. Topher was still in the robot, a thin trail of blood oozed out of the tiny scratch on his face.

"Chris, can I get out of this robot, and get my cheek bandaged?" Topher asked. Chef used his katana to cut off the front of the suit. "Hey, my face is damaged enough!"

(confessional)

Topher: (his face is now bandaged and he is looking in a hand mirror.) Okay, it wasn't a deep cut. My face should be back to normal soon enough. That was close though, can you imagine if it left a scar?

Static

"Guys win the first challenge. They'll be continuing on to compete for the reward. Girls you're gone." Chris said. The focus moved left a smirking Alejandro. "Here's where things get interesting." Alejandro's smirk faded.

"Whenever he says interesting it is always painful for us." Alejandro sighed.

"No, exciting means painful." Topher corrected.

"Topher's right, interesting always means life threatening." Chris smirked.

"Looks like we dodged a bullet." Gwen said, offering Sammy a fist bump. The cheerleader hesitantly returned it.

"Each of you must carry a glass of water," Chris held up an example glass. "To the top of the tallest mountain in Japan, Mt Banshee." The focus moved to show the tall cliff from the very first episode of Total Drama Island. The focus moved in on the top of the cliff to show a small potted bonsai Tree on a rock. "There you'll find a bonsai tree." The focus moved out to show what is clearly the sasquatchnakwa in samurai armor, sitting crossed legged in a cave. To his left is a campfire with a clay tea kettle hanging above it. "Guarded by a mysterious kung fu master. Try not to spill any water on your way up, you'll need to brew kung fu tea as payment for the bonsai."

The focus returned back to Chris still holding a glass of water. "If there isn't enough tea to fill master's sacred cup, you'll wish you were wearing a sacred cup." Chris said pouring the cup of water out and dropping it to the ground, where it broke. Topher and Alejandro are shown looking wide eyed.

"First guy to bring the bonsai down the mountain alive wins, and as an added bonus our lovely geisha," Chris gestured to Noah who snapped his fan shut irately. "Will act as your guide during your climb." The focus shifted right to show Gwen and Sammy. "As for the girls you're sentenced to zen lessons, aka kitchen duty."

"Wow Chris, sending the woman to the kitchen, how progressive of you." Gwen sarcastically remarked. Chef began to poke both of the girls with his sheathed sword.

"Knees up! Let's go!" the cook barked.

(Confessional)

Noah: So Chris said if both Alejandro and Topher are unable to complete their challenge I win. Basically I gotta sabotage their efforts. Or get them to sabotage each other.

Static

The three boys stared at the cliff face. "When I die from overexertion don't let Chris have my body." Noah deadpanned.

"It's certainly steep." Alejandro nodded.

Topher's eyes sparkled. "I can't believe I get to do a challenge on THE thousand foot cliff!"

"Let's get this over with." Noah sighed.

A flash transition shows the three boys beginning to climb the cliff. Topher stepped on one of the small rocky overhangs. "Careful, wouldn't want to cause more facial damage." He muttered.

Noah groaned, on a slightly lower rocky overhang. "How am I supposed to 'guide you' if I can't even keep up?"

The focus moved up to show Alejandro on a rocky overhang just ahead of Topher. "I'm sure you will come up with something." He taunted.

"I would retort." Noah huffed as he moved up to another rocky overhang. "But I need to conserve energy."

"You'll need more than energy to get up this mountain." Topher smirked.

/

Gwen is shown washing a plate. She sighed. "I'd almost rather be climbing the cliff."

"Sorry I lost, Topher and Alejandro just caught me by surprise." Sammy sighed.

"Considering we accidentally cut Topher's face, we're lucky they didn't do more than that. " Gwen chuckled.

"Yeah, Alejandro seemed surprisingly upset considering it wasn't his face." Sammy frowned.

Chef slammed a pot full of knives onto the table. "Shut your traps and grab a blade!" He barked.

"He can't make us knife fight right?" Sammy swallowed grabbing a knife.

"I don't think so,:" Gwen replied, taking a knife for herself.

Chef pushed a large tank of water on wheel to rest next to the table. "Ya'll are gonna use those blades to cook a meal fit for a warrior, Kung fu noodle soup. Vegetable stock, noodles and the seven deadliest species of fish known to man." Chef said

"You've got your rabid piranha." A small gray fish with sharp teeth leapt out of the water. " Poisonous blowfish," A red fish jumped out of the water and inflated before deflating and reentering the water. "Electric eels' A eel with electricity running through it jumped out. "Toxic jellyfish," A purple blob moved out of the water, floated a bit across the top and sunk back in the water. " Lethal swordfish," a sword fish leapt out of the water. "Man eating shark." The shark jumped out of the tank and into the air outside the tent. Several tentacles wrapped around the shark and dragged it back in to the tank as Chef finished. "And killer octopus!"

"Now who's ready to start?" Chef asked, the focus moved left to show Sammy and Gwen both huddled on the stove, though the goth was brandishing her knife.

/

All three boys are shown climbing up the cliff. Noah has somehow managed to keep up. He's a little lower than Alejandro but still within earshot. He glanced at Topher and frowned then smirked. "Estás planeando traicionarlo, ¿verdad?" (You are planning to betray him, right?)

"¿Quizás? ¿Por qué?" Alejandro replied, easily finding his next foothold. (Perhaps, why?)

"¿Y Cuándo planeas hacerlo?" Noah asked, feeling around for a suitable purchase. . (Well, when are you planning on doing it?)

"En mi tiempo." The Spaniard replied, feeling his way along the cliff face. (In my time.)

"¿por qué esperar?" The cynic prompted, finally making it up another rocky overhang. (Why wait?)

"Así que él me ayudará si lo necesito." Alejandro explained. (So he will help me if I need it.)

"You know speaking in a language I don't know is going to make me suspicious right?" Topher said, climbing at a steady pace.

"Noah and I were merely discussing plans for the game." Alejandro remarked, glancing down at the blonde.

"In a way I can't understand?" Topher raised a brow.

"Noah doesn't trust you." The Spaniard smirked, leveling a look at him.

"Who would, you've only voted against your own alliance." The cynic said, clearly out of breath.

"Amigo that is behind us now." Alejandro replied, a tense tone in his voice.

"And I'm about to be crowned Miss congeniality." Noah deadpanned.

"You can't break us apart, Noah. I'm loyal to Alejandro." Topher smirked.

"Which just shows how much of a fool you are." The cynic told him.

/

Sammy and Gwen both peer over the large tank of water. Cautiously, Sammy put a pair of tongs into the water. The tongs move back and forth with force. When Sammy removes them they are twisted. "Oh gosh, I can't do this. We can't do this! They're going to eat us alive!" The cheerleader cried.

Gwen slapped her. "Sammy! Get it together!"

"I'm sorry, I'm okay now? I think…" Sammy gasped.

"Listen if you can't stay calm, you'll rile the fish up. We need to boil noodles in vegetable stock. So why don't you do that, get your bearings and come help me once you're calmer." Gwen said.

"Okay," The cheerleader squeaked. "Um, Gwen."

"Yeah?" The goth asked.

"Thanks." Sammy smiled.

(confessional)

Sammy: You know Gwen might be trying to turn me against Alejandro, but I understand she's doing it to try and help.

Static

Gwen: If you'd told me a few weeks ago I'd be friends with a cheerleader I'd have called you nuts.

Static

The boys continued to climb the cliff. Noah sighed and climbed behind Topher. "Hey, did you ever think betraying Alejandro would probably bring out the villain in him?" He whispered.

"I have thought about it." Topher admitted. "I'm not sure I can bring myself to do it though."

"Didn't you already do that when you voted out Amber?" Noah asked.

"That was different. Amber was in the way of Alejandro reaching his true potential. Besides that was more of a betrayal of Amber than Alejandro." Topher whispered back.

"Maybe your loyalty is in the way of Alejandro's villany?" The cynic suggested.

"Maybe, but to betray him directly?" The blonde frowned.

"It's just a reward challenge." Noah persuaded.

Topher sighed. "I can't."

/

Sammy is standing at the stove stirring with a ladle. In the background Gwen's struggles can be heard. "Gwen? Are you doing okay?"

The goth was slammed into the nearby table with octopus tentacles wrapped around her. "Oh I'm fine, don't worry about me" The goth said, pulled out a frying pan and whacking The tentacles with it. A pained noise is heard off screen and the tentacles withdrew. "See? Easy peasy."

"The noodles are almost done. I can tag team with you. You hold the fish in place and I gut them?" Sammy offered.

"Are you calm enough?" Gwen asked.

"I think so. and I have a timer set to go off when I need to lower the tempeture to a simmer." Sammy explained.

"Then I'd love the help." Gwen admitted.

(confessional)

Gwen: Even if I can't get Sammy to stop being friends with Alejandro, that's okay. If he betrays her I'll have her back, and I know she'd have mine.

Static

The three boys have finally reached the top of the mountain. Alejandro and Topher both have their water glasses intact. Noah has a determined look in his eyes. "It's a shame Amber's not here. She might have enjoyed this challenge."

"She did always enjoy ancient traditions." Alejandro smiled.

"Oh please." Topher muttered.

"Did you say something Topher?" Noah asked.

"I said don't be a tease. Alejandro's been doing better than ever since Amber left." Topher said.

Alejandro's eyes narrowed. "You think so do you?"

"Of course, I mean she was always holding you back!" Topher ranted. His eyes widened as he realized what he'd blurted out. He looked at Alejandro and gasped his glass falling out of his hand with a shatter. In his frustration, Alejandro had clenched his glass so hard it broke. "You're bleeding!"

Alejandro's eyes stared at his hand in shock. Then he gained a determined look. "I need no water. Chris said the first between us to bring down the bonsai would win. I need only get my hands on it."

"Good luck with that," Noah smirked, now right next to the bonsai. He grabbed it and ran past the two. They were about to run after him when the Sasquatchnakwa approached. It picked up Topher and threw him out of the way. Then it puckered it's lips and picked up Alejandro, who's eyes widened in shock. The focus cut to a distance shot of the mountain as the Spaniard screamed.

/

The inside of the mess hall is shown. One long table laden with prepared seafood stood at the front, with various Japanese decorative banners around. Noah, still in the geisha costume, is sipping on tea. Chef, back in his samurai outfit, filled a bowl with soup. "It's about time I won a reward." He smirked.

The focus moved left to show Topher looking at Alejandro bandaged hand. "I'm sorry, if I hadn't made you so mad you wouldn't have broken the cup."

"Thankfully amigo, Chef says it will not scar." Alejandro replied. The two stood in awkward silence.

The focus shifted near the door to Sammy and Gwen talking. "I just want you to know if Alejandro betrays you I'll have your back." The goth said.

"Thanks Gwen. I just hope I can fulfill my promise to Amber." Sammy sighed.

"You're doing your best. Just promise me, if Alejandro becomes too villainous you'll stop working with him." Gwen said.

Sammy sighed. "I'll think about it."

The focus moved back to Noah at his table. Chris moved next to him. "Enjoying your hard earned reward?"

"I am, of course there's way too much for me to eat. You want some Kung Fu noodle soup?" Noah asked.

"Why not? Glad to see you're not mad about the whole geisha costume thing." Chris said as he picked up the bowl of soup. He turned to the camera. "Will Sammy listen to Gwen? Did the yeti give Alejandro his number? Will we come up with something more exciting next week? You bet we will, and find out what it is next time, on Total Drama Action!" Chris took a sip of the soup. "I don't think the blowfish was cooked right," The host's face swelled up and he fell.

"I did say I'd make him suffer." Noah remarked, idly taking a sip of his tea.

Chapter Text

The recap began with the usual distance shot of the film lot. "Last time on Total Drama Action!" The roof of the tallest pagoda is shown before the focus zoomed out to show all three pagodas, the gong, and paper divider. Sammy and Topher are shown fighting, then Alejandro and Gwen are shown using their control sticks, and finally Alejandro standing on Topher doing pushups is shown. "In a world they didn't create, two honorable warriors and two irrepressible foes battled for kung fu supremacy."

The three boys are shown climbing the mountain, then Noah is shown talking to Topher, then Noah is shown stealing the bonsai and eating the reward, with Gwen and Sammy's talking as the closer. "No mountain too high, no obi sash too tight. In a come from behind victory it was Noah who won the reward. While Gwen and Sammy made a pact to have each other's back."

Chris is shown at the trailers to end the recap. "But it's gonna take more than a puny pact to Thrive this week. On Total. Drama. Action!:"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The episode proper begins with a shot of the moon high in the sky. A mouse's snout moved over it before the focus shifted to reveal the mouse was crawling atop a speaker. One that went off in the mouse's face sending it to the ground. The focus zoomed out to show the large speaker was right outside the girl's trailer, with an identical one outside the boy's trailer. The lights turned on in both trailers as several groans were heard.

Gwen and Sammy came out of their trailer, then across the way Alejandro, Topher, and Noah came out from theirs. "One of these days my beauty sleep interrupted one too many times and I'll snap." Alejandro yawned.

(confessional)

Topher: Chris this is so not cool. You of all people should know how important sleep is.

Static

Gwen sighed and licked her hand using her saliva to push down a cowlick.

"Is that sanitary?" Sammy asked nervously.

"And people claim men are the Neanderthals. " Noah muttered.

The focus moved to the top of a large gray column before moved back down to Chris and Chef at the base in loincloths Chef is beating an upturned soup pot with large bones. The five contestants stopped before them. "Good morning cast. Or should I say good middle of the night? Hope you're all rested and ready to go where few men and even fewer ladies have gone before."

"Didn't we already do caveman movies?" Gwen yawned.

"We did Gwen, but we had to reuse the costumes since my astronomical salary accounts for oh roughly ninety-seven percent of the show's budget." Chris smirked.

"Chris it's the middle of the night." Alejandro said with false calm.

"Do you honestly think he cares?" Noah yawned.

"Sorry Alejandro, but Noah's right I don't care." Chris said. "While today's movie genre may start at the dawn of time, it quickly moves up," The moon is shown as something flies past it. "Up and away!"

"So, we're doing space movies?" Topher said.

"That's what it sounds like." Sammy agreed.

(confessional)

Noah: A genre I might actually enjoy, if I was capable of feeling anything but spite and exhaustion at the moment.

Static

"I do enjoy the odd space documentary." Alejandro noted.

"Well I doubt it'll be that interesting. We already did the fun kind of space movie." Gwen sighed.

"Speak for yourself." Noah deadpanned.

"Listen up space cases, you'll soon be facing some out of this world challenges, but first," Chris pushed the large sliver column out of the way revealing six small boxes. "I have a very special surprise for you. Each of you has received one special item sent to you from the outside world." The host took a box into his hand. "Which by now must feel like a distant planet." He tossed the box, Topher caught it, then Noah caught his, and so on until everyone had caught their box.

Sammy opened her box, and sighed as she pulled out a placard with a second-place ribbon pinned to it. "Oh."

"Wow Sammy. You won second place?" Gwen smiled.

"Yeah, second place. I'm always second place." Sammy muttered.

(confessional)

Sammy: I thought maybe my mother would send me something actually encouraging, but instead she sent me a reminder that I always fall just short. She calls it tough love, I call it mean.

Static

Topher opened his next. "Nice my favorite skin care cream, and a note from one of my friends wanting me to get Chris' autograph. I guess I can ask."

"I wonder what they sent me?" Alejandro said, not seeming too excited. He opened the box, inside was a mirror, and around the mirror's handle was a note. Alejandro sighed and took the note off. He looked over it and his hands balled into fists. "I need a moment." He stormed off, not noticing the note land at Sammy's feet.

The cheerleader picked it up and began to read it in a whisper, "Dear Al, I hope this letter finds you well. Father was kind enough to send you a reminder of who you are. Perhaps this time you won't be an utter failure to the family, though I expect that's too much to hope for. Sincerely, Jose."

(confessional)

Alejandro: I get the message. My father sent me a mirror to remind me I'm a Burromuerto with all the expectations and pressure that comes with, and of course Jose had to get the last word in. He always does.

Static

Gwen opened hers next. She pulled out a black spiral book. "Oh cool, my spare sketchbook."

"You draw?" Noah asked.

"Yeah all the time. Mostly in the trailers where no one can see what she's drawing." Sammy said.

"I'm just not comfortable sharing my work that's all." Gwen said.

"How many are of Duncan?" The cynic teased.

"None of your business!" Gwen snapped.

"So it's a lot." Noah noted, taking out a framed picture, he quickly held it to his chest, clearly a bit emotional.

"What's that?" The goth asked.

"I don't have to show you." Noah huffed.

"I got it!" Topher smirked, having taken it while Noah was arguing with Gwen. "Let's see," Everyone surrounded Topher. Reaction varied. With Topher seeming surprised, while Gwen had a teasing smirk, and Sammy smiled.

"It's a golden lab?" Topher said.

"Awe, he's so cute!" Sammy complimented.

"Who knew you were a dog person?" Gwen teased.

"What are you all looking at?" Alejandro asked as he rejoined the group.

"Noah got a picture of his dog." Topher smirked.

"Are you done with that?" Noah said, snatching the picture back.

(confessional)

Noah:(Holding the picture) I've mentioned my golden lab before. I'm not sure I love anyone else in the world more. It's nice to see her again even in picture form.

Static

"Alright Gang." Chris began. "Time to blast off into the great unknown. Everyone knows a good outer space movie has three things in common. One, zero gravity is always a trip. Two the G-forces are killer, and three everything is recycled in space, including number one and number two." All of the contestants gagged.

"Which brings us to our first challenge." Chris continued. "I'll meet you at the thrill ride set in ten minutes."

The contestants looked confused. "There's a thrill ride set?" Noah questioned.

/

The tip of the water tower is shown then a flash transition takes us to Chris in his normal attire standing and facing the contests, also now in their normal attire, with a dark purple and purple striped wall behind them. "The way to achieve zero gravity is to fly a jet on a parabolic course. With large vertical climbs and even higher vertical drops." The cast is shown as Chris explains this, with Sammy and Topher looking terrified, Alejandro and Noah nodding calmly, and Gwen seeming somewhere in between. "But with the price of jet fuel today," A spaceship shaped rollercoaster cart is shown at a boarding platform. "We're gonna simulate the effect on this makeshift space shuttle!"

The focus moved out to show a roller coaster with a single loop, a rocket taking off decorated its side, it was surround by various other rides. "Which will hit the optimum speed need to keep you all in a perpetual state of zero gravity." The host concluded as the focus shifted back to him and the contestants.

"My fear of heights isn't gonna make this easy." Sammy whispered.

"I hope this goes well, my face is barely healed from the last challenge." Topher noted.

"I assume this is up to code?" Alejandro questioned.

"Can't be more dangerous than the submarine tanks." Noah shrugged.

"Let's get this over with." Gwen sighed.

"Your first challenge will be to spend the rest of the night on the shuttle sleeping in zero gravity conditions." Chris explained.

"That seems easy enough." Alejandro smiled.

/

"You all might want to hold on to something bolted down." Chris' voice said through a speaker. The focus shifted out to show the five remaining contestants are in a small room. The walls a light gray with a large red siren on either side. The only other thing in the room is a control panel behind everyone. "Cause we're almost ready to launch!"

"Chris, the room is pretty much empty!" Topher pointed out.

"You don't say." Noah deadpanned.

The focus moved back to the intercom as the sound of the engines started up. "In five, four, three, two, one!" The focus shifted outside to show the shuttle on the track. "Blast off!" The shuttle began to fly around the track the sudden force causing everyone to scream.

Back inside Sammy has her eyes shut. "Oh, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna-" Her eyes opened and the focus moved out to show all five contestants were now floating. "Oh, I'm okay."

"Alright astronauts," Chris said from the security room, each of the contestants is shown on a monitor in front of him. "It's gonna be a long night, better get some sleep. If you can." Chris laughed as Chef handed him a thermos of coffee.

/

Sammy floated over to Alejandro nervously. "Um Alejandro? Can I ask you question?"

"Of course." Alejandro replied.

"Who's Jose?" The cheerleader whispered.

"What did you say?!" the Spaniard gasped.

"Who's Jo-" Sammy began to ask again.

"How do you know that name?!" Alejandro snapped.

"W-when you walked away this fell at my feet." Sammy handed him the note.

"You read it?!"

"I wanted to know what upset you so much! I'm sorry." Sammy said. Alejandro remained silent. "Alejandro?

"Please leave me alone." The Spaniard said. Sammy nodded.

(Confessional)

Alejandro: (Says nothing but punches the counter in anger.)

Static

"Fair warning Gwen, Noah tends to sleep cuddle the nearest thing. Usually it's his pillow, but tonight we're in an open space." Topher said.

"First you're a dog person, and then I find out you sleep cuddle?" Gwen chuckled. "What other sentimental things are you hiding about yourself?"

"I don't have to take this from you Lady I-Sketch-my-boyfriend-a-lot." Noah smirked.

Gwen blushed. "Touche."

(confessional)

Gwen: Honestly it's kind of cool to see this side of Noah.

Static

Everyone is sleeping in the air, most with their head's on their pillows. The exception being Noah, who has his arms around his pillow as usual. The sirens on the wall began to flash and sound waking all five of them. "This is Houston." Chris said over the intercom. "And you have a problem. You've been hit by an asteroid and your guidance system is toast."

"Oh my gosh! How do we fix it?!" Sammy asked in her panic she moved her arms and legs, one of her boots slipped off.

"We have to manually override the navigation system. In other words," Noah pushed off the wall and flew to the joystick. "Pull this conspicuous joystick." It took Noah a moment to fix it.

"Nice one Noah!" Gwen complimented. Then her eyes widened. "Sammy your boot!" The focus shifted to show Sammy's boot was about to hit the window. With a gasp the cheerleader pushed off the wall and 'swam' over to the window catching her boot just as the tip of it lightly hit the window.

"Whew." Sammy heaved a sigh of relief. A small crack formed where her boot had hit and began to spiderweb out. "Oh no." The window broke and Sammy had all she could do to not get sucked out.

"Uh oh!" Chris announced happily. "looks like you've got a hole in her fuselage!" The host laughed as each other remaining contestants faces were shown in turn. "You have exactly T-Minus ten minutes to plug the hole or you'll run out of precious oxygen!"

Air continued to rush out the window. "We need to plug the hole!" Sammy gasped.

"We know that! What do we plug it with?!" Gwen asked.

"We can use the pillows!" Alejandro decided. "Everyone give me yours!" Everyone handed their pillows to Alejandro except Noah. "Noah!"

"But what if I-" Noah began.

We don't have time to think about that!" The Spaniard snapped.

"Fine." Noah sighed as he handed his pillow over.

/

Back outside the sun is now in the sky as we watch the shuttle go around the coaster a few more times before it stopped at the platform. The door popped off and Topher, Sammy, and Gwen all fell out. Alejandro reached the door with a sigh and jumped down. It is revealed Noah is on his back, asleep and clinging to him. Alejandro took struggled to remove him for a bit but eventually he managed.

"I don't want to talk about it." Alejandro said.

"Hey you're the one who insisted he give up his pillow." Gwen smirked.

"If I hadn't we wouldn't have had enough to plug up the window." The Spaniard replied.

"That was smart filling the breach with pillows." Chef said.

Noah yawned and stretched. "Morning, looks like I didn't need my pillow after all." Topher gave him a huffy look "How'd we get out here anyway?"

(confessional)

Topher: No, I am not jealous Noah got to cuddle Alejandro! (He pauses a moment.) Okay maybe a little.

Static

"Nice going Alejandro, it was your quick thinking that saved the group." Chris said. "As a reward you'll get to decide the order of who goes first to last at the next challenge."

"Hmm, I think Noah, Topher, Myself, Sammy, and then Gwen." Alejandro nodded.

(Confessional)

Alejandro: Since I don't know what the next challenge is, the best course of action is to place myself in the center. That way whether I benefit from going earlier or later I'll have the same chance of winning. Placing Noah and Gwen at either end insures that at least one of them will be disadvantaged.

Static

An overall shot of several building cut outs is shown, then paper is shown flying in the breeze, followed by a distance shot of all the warehouses, the fake hill standing tall in the background. One particular warehouse is shown, followed by a close up of the door as it slides up revealing the remaining five contestants as they begin to exit the warehouse with Alejandro closet on the far left, then Sammy, Topher, Noah, and Gwen.

The entire sequence skids to a halt as Chris ran past them, "Enough messing around!" The view became the usual side shot of the contestants facing Chris as he explained the challenge. "Alright gang, if you thought spending the in zero gs was a stomach churning experience, then you're gonna love this next challenge. Who can last the longest on the G-force trainer or as I like to call it the vomit comet." An overlarge space suit on the end of an arm that led to a wheeled cart was shown.

"If you thought you were under pressure before," Chris continued as the overlarge spacesuit was shown in close up. "Wait till you feel the effects of four times earth's gravitational force."

"I guess it's a good thing none of us had more than one bowl of chili." Gwen smirked.

"If you can call it that." Alejandro said.

"Plenty more where that came from!" Chef said as he tapped the soup pan with a ladle. Closer inspection reveals a gray brown sludge with flies about it as well as fish bones, tentacles, and a lone sock.

Alejandro ran off, presumably to vomit, as Gwen shook her head. "I think I'm good."

"Remember crew, Alejandro already picked the order, Noah, you're up first." Chris said.

"Thanks for giving me the advantage Alejandro." Noah smirked.

"It was still the best decision with the information I had." Alejandro defended.

(confessional)

"Okay, so Noah and Topher are ahead of me. Noah will likely be fine, he didn't eat much of the chili. Topher may be a problem, but if I remind him I'm going next, perhaps he could gain the willpower to keep it in.

Static

Noah entered the vomit comet, his face visible in the helmet of the overlarge space suit. "Have a nice spin Noah!"

The vomit comet began to move. Noah went around for several rotations. He started out fine, then eventually his eyes glazed over. He shook his head. "I'd like to leave now!" The vomit comet stopped.

"Nineteen point two seconds. Not bad for a first run, but hopefully someone can beat it." Chris said.

Noah stepped out of the machine and fell over.

(confessional)

Noah: It wasn't the nausea that got to me, but the loss of my equilibrium. Suddenly I had no idea which way up or down. Once I started feeling dizzy I decided it was enough. Hopefully I managed to stay in it long enough to stand a chance at winning.

Static

Alejandro placed a hand on Topher's shoulder. "Amigo, I know you have a delicate stomach."

"That might be an understatement." Topher replied.

"But I need you to refrain from vomiting. I will struggle with this challenge enough without being stuck in vomit. Do everything you can to stop yourself." Alejandro said.

"I'll do my best," Topher said.

(confessional)

Topher: I don't want Alejandro to end up in my vomit anymore than he does. Just imagining his perfect hair covered in vomit is enough to make me cringe.

Static

Alejandro: I suppose I'm lucky Topher is easily influenced by me.

Static

Sammy is right next to Alejandro. "Um, can we talk?"

"I am not in the mood right now." Alejandro replied.

"I understand, I probably shouldn't have read that note. I was just concerned about you. You try to hide it, and you do pretty well but I can tell you're going through something. Something I think I might understand. So if you ever are in the mood to, you know, talk about it, I'm here." Sammy told him. She turned to walk away.

"Sammy, perhaps we can talk about it later. Somewhere private?" Alejandro suggested.

"Of course." Sammy smiled.

(confessional)

Sammy: I'm so relieved Alejandro is open to talking. I understand his hesitation. It's something very personal to him. Alejandro's a pretty reserved person.

Static

"Alright Topher, You're next. Noan managed to keep his lunch down, so at least you'll have a dry run." Chris told the blonde.

Topher is placed in the vomit comet and the machine starts up. The machine is shown going round and round, then Topher's face is shown in the helmet. His cheeks bulged and stayed like that a moment before the blonde managed to swallow it down. "Chris! Let me out!"

Chris stopped his stopwatch. "Wow. 11.5 seconds. You stink at this. I had hoped my fan would do better."

Topher ran off to puke. "Alejandro, you're lucky enough to have a clean ride." Chris said. Alejandro got into the machine.

(confessional)

Alejandro: This is going to take all of my willpower to get through.

Static

The vomit comet began to spin and Alejandro was shown looking queasy very quickly. His cheeks bulged but he managed to swallow down his vomit. He kept going, his cheeks bulging several more times but never vomiting. Eventually he opened his mouth. "Chris stop the-" And that was when he spit up a little vomit. .

"Ew!" Sammy gasped, looking disgusted.

Chris stopped his watch. "Twenty nine point one seconds. Impressive, but you puked so I'm deducting ten points. Which means your new total is nineteen point one seconds. So close, but Noah has you beat by point one second. If only you hadn't puked."

"I didn't vomit! It's barely dirty!" Alejandro protested, gesturing to the vomit comet which is clean aside from a very small patch of vomit in the window.

"Sorry, but spitting up counts as puking here." Chris smirked. Alejandro bristled.

"Sammy, you're next , luckily it's still pretty dry but it smells bad." The host chuckled.

Reluctantly Sammy got on the vomit comet. She instantly gagged at the scent of vomit in the machine. The machine spun around several times Sammy's face getting greener and greener until eventually she puked. The machine stopped.

Chris checked his watch. "Twenty-five point seven seconds. With the vomit deduction fifteen point seven. Noah's still in the lead. Gwen, your slightly soiled chariot awaits."

(confessional)

Gwen: It was so disgusting, but immunity is crucial right now. Alejandro's got Topher and Sammy voting with him. Sorry Noah, but I have to beat you.

Static

The goth looked disgusted but determined. "Let's do this." She got in the machine and it began to spin. It spun and spun, with all of the contestants watching in anticipation. When Gwen finally called for Chris to stop Noah frowned.

"Twenty seven seconds! A new vomit comet record!" Chris cheered. Gwen stepped out of the machine covered in vomit.

"That was awful, but I've been through worse. After you've cleaned animal poop, you're scale for what's disgusting really shifts." Gwen smirked.

"That was amazing Gwen! I'm so sorry I made you have to go through that!" Sammy said.

"That was repulsive." Alejandro gagged, covering his nose. "I can't handle this." With that Alejandro ran off screen, the sounds of retching can be heard.

"You are going to shower right?" Topher asked, covering his own nose.

Gwen rolled her eyes.

(confessional)

Gwen: Look it was gross, really gross, but I'm glad I did it. With immunity I've made it to the final four.

Static

"In light of Gwen's willingness to get her feet wet, so to speak, I declare her the winner of today's challenge!" Chris said.

The sound of whistling can be heard as the camera shirted to Chef cutting carrots into the vomit filled space suit. "Hope you like gumbo."

Everyone looked sick, including Chris.

/

Sammy and Alejandro are now in the completely deserted mess hall. "So…tell me about Jose." Sammy said.

Alejandro sighed. "Jose is my older brother. He has tormented me since childhood. Mocking me, pulling pranks on me reminding me at every turn that he is superior. My father favors him, and whenever I try to speak out against Jose, my father just tells me to try harder. He calls me Al." Alejandro shuddered. "I hate that nickname, it makes me feel inferior, weak."

Sammy wrapped her arms around him. "And that's why you've been so supportive of me, because you understand. You know, if you want to vent I won't judge you."

Alejandro hugged Sammy tight, a few tears trailing down his face. "Gracias."

(confessional)

Alejandro: Sharing my family problems with Sammy is so freeing. Although my father will not be happy with me.

Static

Sammy: I knew we had a connection, and now that I knew what it is, I'm more determined than ever to keep my promise to Amber.

Static

In the area between trailers Noah is talking to Gwen. "How am I going to avoid being voted out?"

"I don't know. I'd be willing to vote for Alejandro, or Topher." Gwen offered.

"Well Alejandro won't vote for Sammy, and I doubt he'll vote for Topher until he's gotten all the use he can out of him. Topher won't vote for Alejandro, and I assume you won't vote out Sammy?" Noah reasoned.

"You'd be right." Gwen nodded.

"Then there's only one way for me to survive this." Noah determined.

That was when Sammy arrived. "Hey guys, what's up?" She asked.

"Gwen and I are voting for Topher tonight, you in?" Noah asked.

"Um, I wouldn't mind except I'm in an alliance with him." The cheerleader said.

"Yeah but he's a bad influence on Alejandro." Gwen pointed out. Sammy bit her lip.

"Just think about it." Noah told her.

(confessional)

Sammy: Okay, Noah has a point, but voting against an alliance seems bad.

Static

The stage with the two giant Chris statues is shown as spotlights wave in front of it. A series of clips featuring Chris from last season ,several of them just him talking, roll over the screen in two parallel lines, a vertical line of clips include one where Chris is dress as a pirate rolls down between them, as two more clips, one of Chris in a helicopter and one of him with a clapboard, move out to either side, the focus zooms out to show a giant gilded Chris as fireworks go for in the screen flashes to the actual amphitheater where Chris stands at his podium in his powder blue tux. "And five will soon become four as we bid farewell to another cast member. Everyone cast your votes."

Each contestant is shown in turn as they voted.

"No hard feelings, just strategy." Alejandro smirked.

"And another one's gone." Gwen said.

"Bye bye nerdy." Topher chuckled.

"I hope I'm making the right decision." Sammy sighed.

Noah raised an eyebrow at the camera. "I don't do quips on command."

Chef stands next to Chris in his hot pink dress, holding a tray of gilded Chris' and itching his back. Chris opened the envelope in his hand. "And the gilded Chris goes to, Gwen" The goth caught hers. "Alejandro, and Sammy." The two caught their awards and smiled at each other.

Topher and Noah are both shown, both confident, neither showing any concern. "And…

…

…

…

…Topher!" The blonde caught his award happily.

(confessional)

Sammy: After Alejandro finally opened up to me I just couldn't break his trust.

Static

"Sorry Noah, the lame-o-sine awaits." Chris said.

"Fine, I'm going. I hate this stupid show anyway." Noah rolled his eyes.

"Hey," Gwen stopped him. "I'm gonna miss you. Say hello to Crimson and Duncan for me."

"I will." Noah walked down the walk of shame. "Hey Al?" Alejandro glared at him. "Might want to break up the get along gang soon." He stepped into the Lame-o-sine. "At least I don't have to suffer through this show anymore."

"We'll see about that." Chris cut in. The lame-o-sine took off leaving two parallel lines of fire and a single license plate. "And you'll see how our remaining contestants suffer, next time on Total Drama Action!"

Bonus clip:

Noah is reading a book. "What? Am I supposed to say something profound or whatever? To be honest it's a relief to be off that trainwreck. Besides, I still made the final five, so what do I care if I win a million dollars? I'm just gonna hang with Crimson and read." Noah's eyes widened. "An aftermath? Of course this show has an aftermath. Why am I even surprised."

Chapter Text

The recap begins with the usual distance shot of the film lot. "Last time on Total Drama Action." Sammy and Alejandro are shown getting their packages and Sammy reading Alejandro's note from Jose. Then the five contestants in the previous episode are shown floating in the fake shuttle. "Packages from the outside world reminded Sammy and Alejandro of their turbulent home lives, as well as caused Sammy to find out about one of Alejandro's biggest issues.

The five contestants in the previous episode are shown floating in the fake shuttle.

Then Alejandro and Sammy are shown fighting. "The cast got a taste of zero gravity conditions, but all was not well in the universe, as when Sammy asked about Jose, Alejandro didn't take it well."

Gwen is shown winning the challenge, then Alejandro and Sammy are shown embracing, Noah and Sammy are shown talking things out, then Noah is shown taking the walk of shame. "Gwen won the challenge but ended up covered in vomit, Alejandro won a sympathetic ear but lost his secrecy, and Noah lost Sammy's vote but won a one way trip back to the outside world."

Alejandro and Sammy are shown embracing again, Topher is shown smirking at the camera. "Will Sammy and Alejandro's friendship last? What will Topher do next?" Chris is shown at the trailers to end the recap. "All this and more on today's out of this world episode of Total. Drama. Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The sun is shown cresting over the horizon before the focus shifted to the boy's trailer. Inside Alejandro is brushing his hair out in front of the mirror, humming. Topher groaned and got down off his bed to join him. "Dude, what's with the humming?"

"Am I humming? I hadn't noticed." Alejandro remarked.

"You are, in fact I haven't seen you in such a good mood since…" Topher trailed.

"Since Amber left?" Alejandro filled in. "I've found a new source of comfort. Sammy and I had a long chat last night, and the whole thing was extremely cathartic. I got so much off my chest." The Spaniard returned to brushing his hair.

"You didn't stay up too late, did you?" Topher asked. "Because unless we're doing coma movies next you need your wits about you."

"Relax amigo, I got plenty of sleep." The Spaniard replied before absentmindedly returning to humming.

Topher frowned.

(Confessional)

Topher: Ever since I got rid of Amber, Alejandro has gotten closer and closer to his villainous high point. Now that Sammy's connected with him on some level that may start to fade. I can't allow that to happen. So I guess I'll try to sabotage Sammy. It'll be great for ratings!

Static

In the girls trailer Sammy and Gwen in their beds. "So you and Alejandro connected last night?" Gwen asked.

"Yes, it was so nice. I finally understand that connection I've been feeling with him this whole season." Sammy smiled.

"I don't see how you could have a connection." Gwen admitted.

"I can't tell you what it is, it's personal you see." Sammy explained.

"Well, I'm gonna try to get some sleep.' Gwen turned over.

Chris came in the trailer with a trumpet startling both girls. "Wake up sleepyheads! Breakfast is served, along with today's movie challenge. "You've got ten minutes to get your sorry butts down there."

Gwen sighed. "At least I haven't gone back to sleep yet. Still, what a wake up call." She jumped to the floor. "Come on, let's get dressed and see if Chef made anything edible."

/

The mess hall tent is shown before the focus shifted inside to show Chef ladling scrambled eggs on to Sammy's tray. "These scrambled eggs look pretty good." Sammy smiled.

Chef began to laugh. "Scrambled eggs!" He continued to laugh until he fell to the floor. Sammy gave her eggs a concerned look.

Sammy walked to the table and sat down with Gwen. "Listen Sammy, we gotta talk strategy. I know you don't want to betray your alliance, but if you and Alejandro are getting as close as you think, Topher is going to try and turn him against you. He voted out Amber, remember?"

Sammy sighed. "I do."

(Confessionals)

Sammy: You know, whenever Amy would hog the TV and watch shows like this one, I always wondered why people didn't just stick with their alliance to the end. Now that I'm here in an alliance I'm starting to understand it's not as simple as I thought. Especially when one of your alliance members is untrustworthy.

Static

Topher walked in the mess hall and got his breakfast. "Scrambled eggs, nice one chef."

The cook, who had yet to get off the floor, started to laugh again. Topher ignored it.

Alejandro got his eggs and joined Sammy at the table. "Good morning, ladies. Excited to be in the final four?"

"Oh my goodness yes! After last season making it this far feels so good, and if I somehow reached the finale I'd beat Amy's ranking last season." Sammy smiled.

"You already have in my humble opinion. After all, Amy was brought back at the merge last season, whereas you have remained in the competition the entire time." Alejandro said.

"That's true! I already beat Amy!" the cheerleader beamed.

"Still, it wouldn't hurt to get further, just so you can crush her ranking even further." Alejandro chuckled.

"I'll do my best!" Sammy cheered.

Topher joined them. "So what do you think today's challenge will be?"

"Why don't you ask me?" Chris said as the focus shifted to him, he had a blue parrot on his shoulder.

"So what's with the sky rat?" Gwen asked.

"That's my new BFFF. Best flying friend forever. That brings us to today's movie genre. The animal buddy flick!" Chris announced. The four contestants didn't look impressed.

(Confessional)

Chris: You try coming up with twenty-six movie genres! It was either, animal buddy, or guy in a coma movie.

Static

"The hallmark of any good Animal Buddy flick is the human and animal bonding." Chris began. "First the human and the animal start out as enemies, then through many misadventures animal and human grow to care about each other and become fast friends." The parrot nuzzled Chris, who moved a finger under his beak to pet its feathers. The parrot bit his finger and laughed. "You guys just hang tight for a second." Chris walked off screen and the sounds of squawking are heard as several different colored feathers floated on screen.

Chris returned with feathers on his head and shoulders and no parrot to be seen. "So where were we?" He asked as he brushed a few off his shoulder. "Right. The first animal buddy movie challenge will be to pick an animal and teach it to be just like you. That shouldn't be too hard, since you're all animals." Chris paused with a smile waiting for laughter. He received none. "The cast member whose animal resembles them most at the end wins the challenge."

(Confessional)

Alejandro: I have always been gifted with animals. They adore me, sometimes a bit too much even.

Static

The contestants are now outside. "Alright cast," Chris began. "Time to meet your future BFFFFFs." The focus moved out to show Chris and Chef had something under a large orange tarp between them. The snickered at his own joke as he continued. "Best Furry Feathered, or finned friends forever!" Next to him Chef rolled his eyes. Then pulled the orange tarp off with a flourish.

The contestants gasped at what was in the cages in front of them. In one cage was a large purple snake with green eyes, it hissed. In another cage is a bear that roared. A chameleon unfurled its tongue. Finally, a raccoon with bushy upturned fur on top of its head didn't react too much, merely scratching itself and giving everyone a judgmental look.

"Pick an animal and get training. You have three hours." Chris said.

"Dibs on the chameleon!" Gwen said as she ran to the cage.

(confessional)

Gwen: I love lizards. I have two of them at home, so I already know how to train one.

Static

"I call the raccoon." Topher said, approaching its cage. "You seem quite tame compared to the rest of them."

The raccoon sniffed and ignored him.

Sammy was shaking. Alejandro turned to her. "Both animals are dangerous, but the snake is quite possibly venomous. So I will take it." He approached the Snake's tank. "Well my reptilian companion it seems you will be accompanying me this challenge."

Sammy turned to the bear. "So uh, I guess we're buddies?" Sammy gulped.

/

Gwen is cooing at the Chameleon. "Come on, I know you can do it. Black and teal stripes to match my whole aesthetic." The Chameleon turned brown and green stripes. "Okay, that's closer."

A little ways away Topher was talking with his raccoon. "Come on, I know you can pose like me." Topher said, striking a dramatic pose. The raccoon merely sniffed and ignored him. Topher sighed and looked off screen.

The focus shifted over to Sammy, who was talking to the still caged bear. "Okay, so if I let you out, do you promise not to hurt me?" The bear nodded. "Alright." As Sammy opened the door she kept talking. "You know it's gotta suck to be stuck in such a small cage. Chris should have at least given you a bigger one." The bear growled a bit at Chris' name. "I know right, he can be so mean. Well, we'll show him when we win this challenge!" The Bear roared. "Is that a good roar or a bad one?"

The focus moved back to Topher. He turned to his raccoon. "Look you clearly think all this is beneath you, and I totally agree. Still do you want to lose to that beast over there?" He asked, pointing at the bear. The raccoon shook his head. "Then what do you think of helping me sabotage their performance?" The raccoon almost seemed to smirk.

(confessional)

Topher: Honestly that raccoon doesn't seem like it wants to listen to me. Still, if I can get it to help me sabotage Sammy, it can be as independent as it wants.

Static

/

Alejandro is having no trouble with his snake. The reptile is holding a maraca and swaying. "Truly you are a remarkable specimen with those green eyes and purple scales. Why I daresay your beauty rivals my own." The snake rubbed its head against him. "Now, shall we work on your charm? Not that you don't have plenty already." The snake hissed happily.

(confessional)

Alejandro: To be honest I would have preferred to teach it a more elegant instrument, but this is best we can do considering the snake has no limbs.

Static

/

"Okay, let's try this again. Black and teal." Gwen instructed. The chameleon turned black and white striped. "Okay, that's one color correct. Try it again." The chameleon turned black and blue. "Close, but not quite." The Chameleon turned black and green. "It's okay I totally get it. Teal is right between blue and green. I know you can get this."

The focus shifted to Sammy who was holding two red pom poms while the bear held two of his own. "Okay, let's do this." Sammy began to shape her body into letters. "B-E-A-R you and I will make it far!" She began to move her hands like claws. "Bear bestie! Oh yeah Bear Bestie!"

The bear was struggling, but that became worse when Topher's raccoon climbed up the bear's back and put dark sunglasses over its eyes. The point of view switched to the bear's; everything was dark and hard to see. "B-E-A-R you and I will make it far! Bear bestie! Oh yeah Bear Bestie!" Sammy frowned. "Are you getting any of this?"

The point of view returned to normal and the bear shrugged. "When did you get those sunglasses?" The bear reached up and took them off. "Can you see better now?" The bear nodded.

"Let's try this again. B-E-A-R you and I will make it-'' Topher's raccoon ran and snatched one of the pom poms out of Sammy's hands. "Hey! I need that!" She cried running after the raccoon.

(confessional)

Sammy: Is it just me or was that raccoon laughing at me?

Static

The raccoon returned to Topher with the pom pom. The blonde smirked and tossed it into some nearby bushes. Sammy arrived. "Topher? Your raccoon just stole my Pom Pom. Have you seen it?"

"No, he must have dropped it somewhere. I'm sure you'll find it." The blonde smiled.

Sammy sighed and walked off. Topher turned to the raccoon. "You're a natural at this huh?"

/

A distance shot of the film lot is briefly shown before a flash transition takes us to Chris and Chef behind a judge's table draped in a purple cloth and long blue ribbon, hung in a waving pattern. "Alright cast, time to judge the animal buddies." The host said.

Sammy looked exhausted. "I finally found my pom pom . It was in the bushes like right next to where you were training!" The cheerleader told Topher.

"Oh, sorry Sammy. If I'd known, I'd have given it back." The blonde lied.

"Sammy, you're first." Chris said.

Sammy sighed and approached with her bear. "So, we've been working on this," The cheerleader rubbed the back of her head sheepishly with the bear doing the same. "But Uh, I'm not sure how it'll go '' She took a breath and began her cheer. "B-E-A-R you and I will make it far! Bear best-" At that moment Sammy tripped over the raccoon's tail, luckily for her the bear happened to trip at this moment too. They both groaned.

Chris and Chef looked at each other. "That's a nine!" The host declared as both he and Chef held up their cards.

/

"Alright raccoon, let's see your best Topher impression." Chris said. The raccoon ran its hand through the fur on its head as Topher was fixing his own hair. The two Judges didn't look impressed. They held up a six. "What?! We haven't started yet! You gave Sammy and her bear a nine for doing the same thing!" As Topher complained the raccoon chittered, making the same hand movements.

"Sorry but we already scored you. Next." Chris said. Gwen stepped forward with her chameleon the goth pointed at it and it changed to a pattern of teal and black stripes. The judges clapped and held up an eight." Alejandro, you're next."

Alejandro stepped forward with his snake. Both had a maraca in their grasp and they began to dance and shake them. Chris and Chef looked at each other. "Impressive, but we were looking for an impression of you. Yes, you are both doing the same thing, but it comes off like an act more than something you'd do naturally. So..." They both held up sevens.

"This is outrageous! Gwen got an eight and her animal didn't even act like her!" Alejandro protested.

"True, but the chameleon changing to match her hair had something to do with her as a person." Chris pointed out.

"But-" Alejandro said.

"I've given my judgment, and you will not change it. " Chris smirked. "Points have been tallied and the winner of the first challenge is Sammy!"

"Yeah! I knew we could do it!" The cheerleader said.

"We'll be right back." Chris said with a wink.

/

The bus that had initially taken everyone to the film lot has stopped in the middle of the forest. Chris stepped out of the bus. "Here we are gang, don't you just love field trips?"

Sammy stepped off the bus. "The woods? Again?"

The remaining three contestants stepped off the bus. "Your next challenge is to find your way back to the film lot, a ten-mile hike through these woods. Using only your animal buddies to guide you." The four contestants looked at their animal buddies. The bear and Raccoon shrugged. "But be careful, several vicious and life-threatening traps have been set up along the way."

"I'm gonna guess you set them up." Gwen deadpanned.

"Smart girl." Chris smirked. "First one there gets invincibility. Sammy gets to shave thirty minutes off her final time for winning the first challenge."

Topher looked annoyed.

(Confessional)

Topher: Oh come on! I've been trying to sabotage her and she gets an advantage! (He sighed and turned to the raccoon sitting on the counter.) I guess we'll have to try even harder to sabotage her. (They both smirk.)

Static

"See you all back at the film lot," Chris said as he moved to get back on the bus. "And good luck." With that the bus doors closed behind the host and the vehicle drove away.

Three of the four contestants went their separate ways. Topher and his raccoon waited a bit, before moving after Sammy.

/

Gwen was walking through the forest with her chameleon. "I'm guessing you aren't from around here?" She asked. The Chameleon stuck its tongue out. "Yeah, okay guess it's up to me. What did I learn about being in the wilderness from those stupid girl scouts mom made me go to?"

/

Sammy is walking with her bear. "So, any idea how to get back to the film lot?" The bear sniffed. "Can you smell your way there?" The Cheerleader followed the bear. The focus shifted forward to show they were headed for a trip wire. "Stop!" Sammy told the bear just before it got set off. "See that? It must be one of the traps Chris was talking about. Good thing we spotted it." That was when, despite the two not getting close enough to set it off, the trap went off. A small catapult in some nearby bushes sent a rock right into Sammy's stomach. She groaned. "Well that was unlucky." and fell over.

As the bear looked at her in concern the focus shifted to a bush directly across from the one with the catapult. Inside is Topher and the raccoon, with one of the raccoons claws out. "Nice job cutting that tripwire." Topher offered a high five but the raccoon just gave him a dead stare. "Fine, I didn't want to anyway." The blonde huffed.

(Confessional)

Topher: That raccoon has no interest in making friends.

Static

/

Alejandro is walking along a riverbank, his snake around his neck like a scarf. "This challenge is hardly as difficult as Chris thinks. So long as we follow the river, we will eventually make it back to civilization, from which point we can easily find the film lot." The snake nuzzled his head. "I am lucky to have a companion as loyal as you, serpiente. I don't need to worry about you wandering off. That said, help me keep an eye out for traps, I imagine Chris has set a few along the river." The snake nodded.

/

"Okay, so moss grows on the north side of trees? Or is that a myth?" Gwen frowned as she walked among the trees. "Of course even if it is true, none of these trees have moss, and I don't know what direction the film lot is in anyway. So knowing which direction is north won't do us any good." The Chameleon stuck its tongue out. "Don't worry buddy I know this isn't your fault. I wouldn't expect you to know where to go." That was when Gwen walked over a pile of leaves which quickly fell away into a pit trap. "Shit, I forgot about the traps."

/

Sammy and her bear are walking through the forest. The bear keeps sniffing. Then it points in a direction. "You think the lot's that way? Well, it's worth a shot." The two of them headed in the direction the bear had chosen. "I wonder how many traps Chris set up?" The bear shrugged. "Hopefully, we don't end up in another-" That was when another rock nearly hit her. Sammy and the bear stepped back, right into a net trap, causing both to be stuck in a tree. "Where'd that rock come from?!"

The focus shifted behind a nearby tree where Topher and the raccoon stand, a rock in each of their hands. "Looks like we only needed one, nice. Well she should be stuck in there for a while, so I say we make our way to the film lot. Do you know the way?"

The raccoon walked off. "Wait for me!' The blonde said.

(Confessional)

Topher: Look, do I know the raccoon is right? No, but it's been cooperative enough. Besides, it's clearly intelligent, and it probably knows where we are better than I do.

Static

/

Alejandro and his snake are still making their way along the river, the snake pointed ahead with it's tail. A trip wire is in front of them. "You're right, that is a tripwire. Good that you saw it serpiente. We'll have to walk around it." as Alejandro took a few steps right to walk past the trip wire his foot hits right into a peg connected to a rope, which made a huge log swing out of one the trees, Alejandro barely managed to roll under it.

"I guess the other wire was a red herring." Alejandro noted. The snake hissed. angrily. "Shh, I am sorry to jostle you, but I had to otherwise we'd have been hit by that trap." The snake hissed again. "No I am not blaming you, I would never think to fault an intelligent creature such as yourself." The snake nuzzled his face again. "Glad to see we have an understanding.

/

Topher and his raccoon have made it to a small dirt path. "You really think its that easy?" The racoon chittered at him. "I mean it is Chris we're talking about, he doesn't usually go with the easy solution. Unless...he knows we'll over think it and thus avoid using the path even if we come across it! That's brilliant and just the kind of stunt Chris would pull!" Topher attempted to high five the raccoon again. It ignored him and started down the path. Topher sighed. "Whatever, let's just go."

/

In the pit Gwen is brainstorming. "Okay, I think I have an idea." She began to walk around the floor of the pit, picking up sticks. "If I can find some sticks sturdy enough to hold our weight I can stick them in the wall of the pit and climb up them like a staircase." The chameleon stuck its tongue out and grabbed a stick. "Thanks for the help." A flash transition later and Gwen has done as she said. "Okay, here's hoping these sticks hold." She cautiously took a step on to one. It groaned but it didn't break. "I just have to be careful." She placed her foot on the next stick and slowly but surely climbed out of the pit. "Yes! We're back in it! I say we just run in a random direction and hope it takes us somewhere." The Chameleon climbed onto her head. "Hang on tight! We're gonna try to brute force our way to the solution!" Gwen took off running.

/

Sammy and her bear are in the net trap. "How are we gonna make it out of here now?" Sammy asked. The bear put a paw on her shoulder comfortingly. "Thanks, I just wish I was better at this." She looked at the paw on her shoulder. "Wait, you have claws right?" The bear nodded and unsheathed them. "You can use them to break us out of the net!" The bear smirked and began to claw at the bottom of the net, not much later it tore open sending the two to the ground. "We did it, and I bet we can find our way out of here too!" The bear sniffed and pointed in a direction again. "Okay, I trust you!"

/

The sun is shown in the sky, then the focus shifts down to the trailers, where Chris stands. "Topher and his raccoon, nice one. You're the first team to arrive.

(Confessional)

Topher: Yes! I made it here before Sammy! Now I just have to hope she takes more than thirty minutes to get here.

Static

"So how long before the rest get back, you think?" Topher asked.

"I don't know, a couple days?" The host randomly guessed. A flash later and Chris looked bored. He brightened shortly after that. "Finally! Topher and I have been waiting forty minutes!"

Alejandro joined the two. "Topher, I'm surprised you got here first."

"Well you know I just had a great bond with my partner. Right buddy?" The blonde prompted. The raccoon ignored him and scratched its head.

"Right." Alejandro smirked.

"Wow! Looks like brute forcing your way out of the forest works!" Gwen said as she arrived with her chameleon. "Is Sammy back yet?"

The cheerleader arrived just after that. "Oh my goodness we did it!" She cheered, hugging the bear.

"Welcome back cast, you all did well, but even with Sammy's thirty-minute advantage, Topher won the challenge. Which means invincibility. Topher gets a free pass into the final three!" Chris said. "The question is, who will join him in the final three, and who will be the next to leave? There's only one place to find out! At the most exciting, gilded Chris ceremony ever!"

/

Sammy and Alejandro are sitting at the bench between trailers. "Do we have to vote for Gwen tonight?" Sammy sighed.

"It's either her or one of us." Alejandro pointed out.

"I know, I just wish I knew why I had such bad luck today." The cheerleader sighed.

"Bad luck?" The Spaniard asked.

"Yeah, I was practicing with my bear when Topher's raccoon stole one of my pom poms. Then I tripped over its tail during the performance, a trip wire went off on me even though I didn't set it off, so a rock hit me in the gut." She gestured to her gut where a bruise was beginning to form. " Later a rock nearly hit me out of nowhere and I stepped back into a net trap." Sammy explained.

"Hmm, once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, but three or more times is a pattern. You say Topher's raccoon stole one of your pom poms?" Alejandro asked. Sammy nodded. "I think I know what's going on." The Spaniard walked off.

Gwen joined Sammy on the bench. "Well I guess I'm getting eliminated tonight. It's okay, fourth place is pretty high." She said, " So what happened? Alejandro looked furious."

"Yeah, I'm not sure what that's about." Sammy admitted.

(confessional)

Alejandro: ( Holding the princess Amber doll.) So, that's what his game is? Chica, he has clearly learned nothing from your elimination. If he wasn't immune, I'd kick him off the game myself.

Static

Topher is in the boy's trailer brushing his hair when the door bursts in. "Oh hey Alejandro."

"Don't you speak with me in such a friendly tone." The Spaniard hissed. "First you take out my girlfriend, then you sabotage your own alliance?"

"I don't know what you're-" A hand slammed into the wall next to Topher.

"Sammy told me about the 'bad luck' she's been having today. You know just as well as I do, it wasn't bad luck." Alejandro said. He turned. "You can consider our alliance severed."

(confessional)

Topher: Who cares? I have immunity. No one can touch me tonight.

Static

The stage with the two giant Chris statues is shown as spotlights wave in front of it. A series of clips featuring Chris from last season ,several of them just him talking, roll over the screen in two parallel lines, a vertical line of clips include one where Chris is dress as a pirate rolls down between them, as two more clips, one of Chris in a helicopter and one of him with a clapboard, move out to either side, the focus zooms out to show a giant gilded Chris as fireworks go off in the background.

Chris stood at his podium in his powder blue suit. "This is a big one cast. Topher's safe from elimination, which means the rest of you are fair game. So sharpen your claws and cast those votes, someone is going home for the last time."

Each cast member is shown in turn as they vote.

"I'm sorry." Sammy said. Her portrait appeared in the upper left corner.

"Well, it's been a fun ride." Gwen sighed. Her portrait was placed next to Sammy's

"You are the only choice." Alejandro decided. His portrait went in the lower left corner.

Topher said nothing and just voted, a smug smirk on his face as he filled the final corner

Chris' face appeared in a square at the center of all others "The gilded Chris goes to, Topher, Alejandro, and Sammy!"

(Confessional)

Gwen: I mean, I knew it was coming. Alejandro and Sammy are close, and Topher has immunity. Really, there was no chance of me surviving this.

Static

Gwen walked down the carpet of shame with Sammy. "I'm sorry I had to vote for you."

"Hey, it's fine. This is way further than I expected to make it. Besides, at least you're still in the competition. Speaking of which, you'd better win this for me!" Gwen said.

Sammy chuckled. "I'll do my best." Gwen got in the Lame-o-sine.

Topher, Alejandro and Chris all surrounded her. " Topher, Sammy, and Alejandro, the final three. Tune in next time for our most controversial episode ever, of Total Drama Action!" Chris announced.

Bonus clip:

Gwen is in the Lame-o-sine. She sighed. "Once Noah was gone I knew I had to earn immunity, or I'd be next. I just hope Topher doesn't win. After everything he's done he doesn't deserve it. It'll be nice to get a break from the show. Call Duncan and go on an actual date. It's kind of a relief really." Someone off screen speaks. "I'm sorry what? There's an aftermath?!"

Chapter Text

The recap begins with a distance shot of the film lot. "Last time on Total Drama Island." Alejandro is shown humming as he brushed his hair, then Topher is shown in the confessional. Then Chef removing the orange tarp from the animals is shown, then Sammy tripping with her bear, Topher and his raccoon complaining, Gwen getting her chameleon to change black and teal stripes, and Alejandro dancing while playing a maraca with his snake. "Alejandro and Sammy had a heart to heart which left both feeling better. This prompted Topher to attempt to sabotage Sammy, and our cast wasn't the only animals on set as as they were each paired with an animal buddy to train in their image."

Sammy and her bear are shown working together in the forest, then Topher is shown going for a high five with his raccoon and being snubbed. Then Topher arriving at the film lot first, Alejandro slamming his hand against the wall right next to Topher's head, and Gwen being eliminated. "While some worked with their animal buddies, others not so much. Yet despite this Topher still won invincibility. Which was good for him because Alejandro found our about his sabotage on Sammy and severed their alliance. In the end Gwen was sent home."

Alejandro, Sammy, and Topher are all shown on screen while Chris sat in the security room. "Which brings us to our final three. Who'd have guessed, and who will end up in the finale with a chance to win one million dollars?! Find out right now, on Total. Drama. Action!

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The trailers are shown from the outside before the focus shifted inside the girls trailer where Sammy was in bed. "I never thought I'd be the last girl left." The blonde swallowed. "I miss Gwen, and all the others. But the worst part is all the pressure. Everyone is watching, counting on me to beat Topher. It's a bit much." Sammy sighed. "I don't even know who I'm talking to.

The focus moved out of the girls trailer and over to the boys before shifting inside. Alejandro is no longer sleeping on the bunk over Topher, instead lying on a bunk far away. Topher frowned. "Alejandro, I know you're mad, but think about it. You like Sammy, and emotions get in the way of winning. That's why you voted out Amber in season one. I was just trying to help." Alejandro was facing the wall away from Topher. He said nothing. "Alejandro? Talk to me? Please?"

"I have nothing to say to you." The Spaniard replied.

Topher looked upset, but his gaze hardened, "Fine if you're so mad at me then I guess I'll just stop helping! From now on this guy is flying solo!"

"I'm trying to sleep." Alejandro said shortly.

Topher huffed, but then sniffed as a canister felled through the hatch in the ceiling. "Alejandro! We're being-" The trailer filled with purple gas.

In the girls trailer Sammy shot up. "Guys? Are you okay?" A purple canister fell into her trailer as well knocking her out.

/

Alejandro, Sammy, and Topher are all tied to a mast, with Alejandro on the left, Topher on the right, and Sammy in the middle. Sammy wakes up first. "Alejandro?"

"Jose, can't have my million." Alejandro said sleepily.

"Alejandro! I think we've been shanghaied!" Sammy said as the focus zoomed out to show they were on a ship set.

Topher opened his eyes. "Huh, the ropes are tight, but not uncomfortable. Chef must be in a good mood."

"How are we gonna get out of here?" Sammy asked.

"Perhaps we can untie each other? You untie you, I'll untie me." Alejandro said.

"How do you know Sammy won't just leave you here?" Topher scoffed.

"I would never do that!" The cheerleader protested.

"Not everyone is as traitorous as you." Alejandro said.

"It's called strategy, and if you weren't so wrapped up in your new friendship with Sammy you'd know that!" Topher snapped.

"Guys! We have to work together to escape!" Sammy interrupted.

"Right, move over a bit." Alejandro asked.

(confessional)

Alejandro: Topher clearly wants to turn me against Sammy. That's not going to happen.

Static

Alejandro is untied, Sammy is untied, and the cheerleader is untying Topher. "I still say we leave him." Alejandro huffed.

"That would make us no better than him." Sammy replied as she finally got the knot undone.

"Breakfast anyone?" Chef asked as he wheeled in a cloche on a serving trolley.

"What have you cooked up for us Chef?" Topher smirked.

The cloche was removed to reveal a delicious looking breakfast. A decadent stack of thick pancakes drizzled with syrup and a pat of butter, fresh pineapple, a blueberry muffin, fruit juice, and a plate of bacon and eggs.

"What?!" Topher gasped.

"Fresh fruit to ward off scurvy, hot flapjacks to prevent lice, or whatever, all prepared to my highest personal standard." Chef explained.

(confessional)

Topher: Has the world gone upside down? Alejandro's willingly helping his competition? Chef is making gourmet food? Am I still on the same show?!

Static

The three semi finalists were eating when a rope hung down between them Chris slid down the rope in a full pirate outfit, including a fake wooden parrot, and began to speak in a pirate accent. "Ay matey's me parrot Chris junior, junior, junior and I want to congratulate each of you for making it to the final three. As ye can probably tell, today be space zombie movie day!"

Alejandro gave the host an unamused look, Sammy just looked confused, and Topher was smirking. "It's actually pirate movie day." Chris said in his normal voice. "And you're on deck for a swashbuckling obstacle course, followed by a treasure hunt through the entire season's challenges."

Sammy and Alejandro were both shown as Chris continued. "And if you want to claim that booty you might want to rethink the all for one and one of all approach."

"Thank you Chris! At least someone is reasonable!" Topher said.

(Confessional)

Topher: It's a good thing I'm here. Can you imagine how boring the semifinals would be with Alejandro and Sammy being all friendly?

Static.

Chris handed each of the semifinalist a package of cotton swabs. "Obstacle number one, swab the poop deck." Three doors with red lights above them are shown. A bull ,moose went in the left one, the Sasquatchnakwa into the middle, and a bear into the right. The sounds of pooping can be heard as all three finalists are shown cringing. A bell went off as each animal left their room, a stench cloud accompanying them.

"Obstacle number two, pun intended." Chris continued gesturing to a barrel beside him. It contained three flags, one red, one blue, and one pink. "Grab a flag," The focus shifted to Chef greasing the mast they had just been tied to. "Shimmy up the greased mast," The focus shifted up to the top of the mast. "And fly your jolly roger."

"And finally," Chris said as a cannon was shown. "A cannonball, the target is the monster chomped movie set."

Chris stood before the three contestants, point a flintlock pistol, or more likely a replica, at the sky. "Ready, set and go!"

All three contestants ran into one of the rooms, Alejandro the left, Sammy the middle, Topher the right, a stink cloud came out of each room as the contestants entered. All three contestants poked their heads out to gag, before retreating back inside.

"I get it," Chris said as Chef approached him with the serving trolley and cloche. "The food is laced with laxatives right? Nice."

"Nope," The cook replied. "Just going out in style."

"Going out? What do you mean?" Chris asked, seeming concerned.

Chef waved the brush he'd just been using to grease the mast. "That's the last meal I'm ever gonna serve on this two bit show.' He gestured to himself, leaving behind a spot of grease. "Got me a gig cheffing on a swanky cruise ship. So you can kiss my behind goodbye!"

"Yeah, yeah and I got a job hosting the Oscars, very funny." Chris brushed him off.

Chef slammed the grease brushed into Chris' pirate hat where it stuck. "Who's laughing?"

The focus shifted over to the three doors as Alejandro stuck his head out to puke. "So long as it isn't inside I'm not responsible for cleaning it. Chris, can I get more swabs over here?"

Sammy poked her head out. "I need more as well!" A second box of swabs was thrown to both of them and they ducked back in.

"If our contestants think they have it rough," Chris said as the focus shifted back to him and Chef. "The people on Chef's fancy cruise ship will have to suffer through his slop with no chance for winning a million!"

Chef got in Chris' face. "I don't think you wanna keep going."

Alejandro poked his head out of his door as Sammy exited hers. "Sammy is the first to finish the deck."

"Sammy, if you assist me with this challenge, I'll assist you later!" Alejandro said.

"Hey!" Chris snapped. "Alejandro has to do it himself or it won't count!"

"Sorry, maybe I can help you later?" Sammy said as she moved to grab her flag. At that moment the Sasquatchnakwa ran back into the middle room and pooped again, before coming out in a stench cloud.

"Looks like bigfoot's not done! Which means neither is Sammy." Chris said as he handed another box of swabs to the cheerleader. She reentered the middle room as Topher came out of his.

"That was so gross, but I managed to swallow all my puke so I didn't make a bigger mess." The blonde said. He grabbed the blue flag and walked to the greased up mast which he began to shimmy up, only to fall.

The focus shifted back to Sammy and Alejandro, both exiting around the same time. "You made it." Sammy smiled.

"Yes, and my offer still stands. If you will assist me, I will assist you." Alejandro said.

"Because we're friends." Sammy smiled.

(confessional)

Alejandro: Actually, it's mostly because I want to destroy Topher, but Sammy doesn't need to know that.

Static

Topher is still struggling to climb the mast as Alejandro and Sammy arrive, the former with the red flag, the latter with the pink. Alejandro stood at the base of the mast and Sammy easily climbed up, swiftly making it to the top of the mast and hanging down from one of the crosstree's and holding her hands out. Alejandro smirked and grabbed them being pulled up easily. Both competitors placed their flags to flutter in the wind.

"I bet you wish you had allies now!" Alejandro called down.

Topher huffed and continued to try and shimmy up the mast. "You call them allies, I call them liabilities."

The focus shifted back to Chris and Chef. "You can't bail! We're a team!" Chris protested.

"I fly solo, I'm a maverick." Chef said.

"Dude, without this job, you'd still be selling street meat outside the bus station." The host scoffed.

Chef growled and the focus shifted to Topher on the mast as Alejandro slid down, deliberately knocking Topher back to the deck. Sammy slid down the other side and the two ran for the cannon where Chef was whistling.

"Ever fly an air cannon before?" Chef asked.

"No," Sammy admitted.

"Yes actually, I used one when I was in Cirque Du-" Alejandro began.

"I don't need your life story, You're going to hit that target," Chef pointed to the monster munched city in the distance. "It's gonna take a whole lotta air." He gestured to the air pump at his feet.

"I'll pump first." Alejandro offered.

"Okay, but if you get tired just ask me." Sammy said.

A flash transition later and Sammy has started to pump air into the cannon. Alejandro stands next to Chef. "So, Chef, how are you?"

"After an entire season of this now you wanna know?!" Chef barked.

The gauge on the air cannon was at its end. "We did it!" Sammy cheered.

"You do realize only one of you will fit in the cannon." Chris pointed out.

"Oh, I guess we didn't think about that." Sammy frowned.

"If you are okay with it, I could hold you when they shoot us off." Alejandro said.

Chris rolled his eyes. "Sure if you want to be less aerodynamic." As the two moved to do what they said Chris turned to Chef. "You gonna fire the cannon or you just gonna stand there and be useless?"

"Now you see that? That attitude is why I'm out of here!" Chef snapped. "I've had it watching you do your bogus job and get all the glory, while I'm stuck with all the grunt work!"

"Hosting is way harder than what you do. I dare you to try it sometime," Chris retorted.

"Let's go!" Chef said getting in Chris' face.

"Fine, be my guest!" The host replied.

"Excuse us, but we are waiting on you." Alejandro glared.

Chris handed Chef a remote. The cook hit a button and sent the two flying. "Piece of cake! Just like the rest of your job!"

"Oh, you'll see," Chris said.

"Chris," Topher's voice said off screen.

"I'll see what? How easy it is?" Chef scoffed.

"Guys?" Topher spoke again.

"Have you even ever read a cue card?!" The host asked, both men gritting their teeth at wach other.

"Guys!"

"What?!" Both men said.

Topher is shown at the top of the mast his own flag now place. "Not that I'm not enjoying the drama, but I've finished this part of the challenge-" Topher slipped on some grease and fell through the deck below.

"Sorry dude, I'm gonna have to leave you in the hands of Mr. Personality here." Chef said as he pointed at Chris. "And get on with my super easy hosting duties."

"I'm totally capable of shooting a guy out of a cannon on my own thank you." Chris defended.

"Guess we'll see."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Chris said. "It's about that time when people might go to the fridge or change channels and not come back?"

Chef cleared his throat and faced the camera. "Who will make it to the finale? Who will not? Do not touch that clicker, we will find out after this." The cook folded his arms, then got close to the camera and snapped. "I said get your hands off that clicker!"

/

Alejandro and Sammy are shown flying through the air and landing uncomfortably on the ground. They both groaned and stood up. "Well we're here." Sammy noted.

"What are we to do next?" Alejandro asked, as if in answer the sound of rotor blades was heard as a rope ladder was lowered down and Chef joined the two on the ground.

Chef looked at his cue card and began to read in a stilted manner. "Sweet landing dudes. I'm your righteous new host, Chef!"

"Is there any reason you are hosting this particular challenge?" Alejandro asked with a raised brow.

"Is Chris okay?" Sammy asked.

"Don't ask questions, just work with me." Chef muttered. Then he looked at the cue cards again. "The rest of today's changed is a guhnar- gnarly treasure hunt."

"Through all the challenges. Chris mentioned that yes." Alejandro remarked dryly.

"Oh and did your ex host tell you that if you correctly answer a trivia question, you skip the challenge and move on to the next one?" Chef asked.

"Really? Maybe I'll know some of them!" Sammy beamed.

"I do keep my ear to the ground. Very well Chef, give us the first question!" Alejandro said.

"Okay, who got the space boot in the alien challenge?" Chef asked.

"Geoff and Kitty." Both contestants answered.

"Follow up question," Chef continued. "What is their ship name?"

"Ship name?" Alejandro frowned. "I wasn't aware they owned a ship."

Chef gave him a flat look.

"He means their relationship name. Um, is it Keoff?" Sammy asked.

"Too bad," Chef said,stiltedly. "Time to get it on with the alien, since Geoff and Kitty are a couple, your challenge is to get your mac on the space lizard." "

The giant animatronic monster stomped its way over Sammy looked shocked.

"Let's make this nice and slobbery." Chef said into a walkie talkie. A blonde intern in a mocap suit nodded and reached down.

The monster roared at Sammy and Alejandro, who were both now in its grasp. Alejandro smirked. "You kiss one cheek, I'll kiss the other." Sammy nodded and the two kissed the monster. Sammy on the right, Alejandro on the left. The monster looked shocked and covered its mouth with a smile on it's face. Alejandro and Sammy landed on the ground.

/

Meanwhile back on the ship Topher just barely dragged himself out of the hole in the deck. Now soaking wet with water. The sounds of sniffling draw the focus to Chris who seemed upset.

"Chris? Why are you crying?" Topher asked.

"I'm not crying," Chris said as the focus moved a bit right to show the host was chopping some onions. "Stupid Chef is doing my job so I'm doing his stupid job."

"Nice gimmick for an episode." Topher smirked.

"Gimmick, right." Chris said. "Alejandro and Sammy have a huge lead, and you've got an air cannon to pump."

/

The warehouses are shown with the hill in the background as Chef can be heard asking a question. "Who was left on the editing floor after the make a movie challenge?" The focus shifted to Chef, Sammy, and Alejandro at the foot of the fake hill. "And follow up, what was his audition tape?"

"It was Scott, but I have no idea what his audition tape was." Alejandro frowned.

"I didn't really watch anyone else's audition tapes…" Sammy trailed.

"No part marks dudes." Chef said then he threw the cue card down. "Can I stop with this dude thing already?"

"So we gotta haul the equipment up the hill again?" Alejandro asked.

"Nope you gotta haul the hill, up the hill." Chef said, handing both contestants a shovel.

"Well, at least there's two of us." Sammy sighed.

/

Topher is now in the canon. "Okay Chris, fire away! We both know this episode won't have any tension with Alejandro and Sammy working together!" Chris sniffled, wiping tears on his sleeve. "Chris, what's wrong?"

"Chef's leaving the show!" Chris cried.

"What?! Chef can't leave?! The show wouldn't be the same without him as co host!" Topher gasped.

"I know that!" The host snapped.

"You guys are like the best team ever! You can still be the best team ever! It's not too late to try and make up with him!" Topher said.

"You really think so?" Chris sniffed.

"I know so, Chef just needs to know you still want him around." The blonde replied.

With that, Chris hit the button on the remote, sending Topher flying.

/

"Sorry you two," Chef said as the focus showed the water tower, and underneath it the horse on the diving board. "Since you can't tell me what language besides English Crimson is fluent in."

The three are shown standing on the target. "This time the horse falls on us?" Sammy asked.

"Yep, Sammy goes first." Chef said.

Sammy sighed and bent over to be on all fours placing a saddle on top of her. "At least I'll have time to recover while Alejandro does this." She said before being squashed by a horse.

A scream rang through the air as Chef ran off.

/

Topher was just landing at the monster munched city when Chef arrived. "Your question-"

"Wait, what's the challenge?!" Topher protested.

"I am not reading these cue cards again!" Chef yelled. "Just tell me who was voted off first!"

"Geoff and Kitty." Topher smirked.

"And their ship name?" Chef asked.

"It's Getty." The blonde answered easily.

/

Chef was standing in front of the prison set he's bent over and huffing. Alejandro and Sammy before him. "What is Ella's favorite princess movie?"

"Cinderella?" Sammy guessed.

"Nope." The cook replied.

"Snow White?" Alejandro asked.

Chef made a sound like a buzzer then pointed to the obstacle course from the prison episode. "Let me guess, you're about to release guard dogs as if we were actually escaping prison?" Alejandro said flatly.

"And they can smell blood." Chef smirked. After the two contestants ran off he sighed and moved to run.

/

Topher is at the make a movie challenge. "Scott's audition was a video of him killing kitchen rats with a baseball bat." Chef gave the blonde a thumbs up and ran off.

/

Sammy and Alejandro are now standing next to a projector. "Um Trent's lucky number is seven?" Sammy guessed.

"Thirteen?" Alejandro posited.

"Wrong!" Chef barked.

"Whatever, with Alejandro here I can totally watch a horror movie." Sammy said.

"Now presenting the miracle of childbirth." Chef said starting the projector. Both contestants' eyes widened in shock.

"You have to go through that to have a child?!" Sammy gasped. Alejandro gripped her hand, seemingly as much for his own comfort as hers.

/

Topher is on the cowboy set looking for Chef. "Chef?"

The cook arrived out of breath. "I'm doing the job of two people here! I haven't run this much since basic training. Anyway, what language other than English is Crimson fluent in?"

"Icelandic, most of her favorite bands are from Iceland. It's on the fan wiki." Topher said.

"Oh really?" Chef said, "What else is on the fan wiki?"

"Oh there's tons of stuff, did you know Scott grew up on a farm? That's why he has such strange taste in food. Apparently his family's eaten sawdust and dirt on the regular? Can you imagine anything more gross? Anyway, " As Topher began to talk, Chef sat down and leaned against a

barrel.

/

Sammy and Alejandro are shown running across a minefield blindfolded. "Oh my gosh this is horrifying!" Sammy screamed.

"The mines are buried?! Why must we wear blindfolds?!" Alejandro questioned as they continued running.

/

Back with Chef Topher is still talking. "According to his bio Geoff has four younger brothers and is the quarterback of his high school football team."

"Really? Who would have thunk it?" Chef said.

"I know right? Geoff doesn't seem like the football type, and that's not all. Noah likes video games. Apparently he signed up to Total Drama to try and test his in-game survival skills in the real world," Topher continued and the focus shifted behind the water tower where Chris is listening in.

/

Alejandro makes a basket while playing against a bear. Sammy is shown making her own basket against the bear. Then Alejandro is shown hitting a birdie back at the bear in badminton, followed by Sammy doing the same. Both of them are shown in a boxing ring punching a bear with marshmallow boxing gloves, but the bear simply knocked them over. Finally both are shown running away in towels from a bear as it whips them with a towel.

/

"And Ellody's biggest aspiration is to be an astrophysicist." Topher said. "Is that enough Chef? I've got more."

Chef is shown to be sleeping against the barrel. "What kind of host are you?!" Chris asked as he stepped out from behind the water tower. Chef started awake. "Chef's stalling had dug a big hole for Topher. Alejandro and Sammy have a six challenge lead."

"Wait?! You've been stalling? I didn't even have to tell you all that?" Topher said.

"Run Topher, run like the wind!" Chris said as Topher ran off. "It's still anybody's game folks, start biting those nails now!" He turned to Chef. "As host it is your job to ramble on, not to make the contestants ramble on. Look, I'll follow Topher, you catch up to the other two."

"Fine, but not because I needed help." Chef said as he walked off.

/

Topher is at the prison set. "That's a trick question actually. Ella loves all princess movies equally."

Chris nodded. A flash transition takes them to the horror challenge. "Trent's lucky number is nine."

Another flash transition and Topher is at the war movie challenge. "Harold's allergic to gummy slugs." Chris smirked

/

Alejandro is carrying Chef, dressed in a sleeveless dress with a lighter pink trim on the chest, waist, and bottom, a ribbon across the waist and a tiara on his head. Sammy can be seen at the other side. "If I can do it, you can Alejandro!"

/

"Ellody's best friend is named Mary." Topher said.

A flash transition shows Sammy being placed in the vomit comet.

Another flash transition show Topher has made it to the superhero challenge. "Duncan comes from a family of cops, which is part of the reason he's so anti authority."

Yet another transition Topher is at the Princess Challenge. "Amber's least favorite genre is historical fiction." Chris bowed and Topher moved on.

The final transition shows Alejandro being let out of the vomit comet and immediately barfing on Chef's shoes.

/

Chris arrives with Topher in tow. Chef is sitting on a step washing his boots off. "Where's Sammy and Alejandro?" Chef pointed to his left Chris headed that way. "Who left during the space challenge?"

"Noah." Topher answered.

"Follow up question, what's his IQ?" Chef asked.

"One hundred and eighty." the blonde smirked. As moved to walk on he turned. "You know, you've got a lot of fans who'd be really upset if you left the show. I bet Chris knows that. He knows the show needs you."

"You think?" Chef replied.

"I know." Topher said as he walked off.

/

Chris stood outside the door leading to the final challenge. Sammy and Alejandro stand before him as Topher shows up. "Ooh, look at this suspenseful outcome. The question could determine who makes it to the finale! Who was voted out after the animal buddy challenge?"

"Gwen." All three contestants answered.

(confessional)

Topher: Oh no. Gwen's new, I haven't been able to memorize her fan wiki because she didn't have one. I'll just have to hope this is something I know.

Static

"What are the names of Gwen's pet lizards?" Chris asked.

"Gwen has pet lizards?" Alejandro said.

"She never mentioned it." Sammy sighed.

"I don't know! Gwen wasn't even on the first season! How am I supposed to have found something like that out?!" Topher said.

Gwen is shown watching the episode in the green room at the aftermath studio. "You could have asked. I was there until recently." The goth deadpanned.

"Tough luck," Chris said as the focus returned to the four of them. "Looks like all three of you have to do the last challenge."

"It was the animal buddy challenge. No problem." Sammy smiled.

"I have an excellent relationship with animals." Alejandro smirked.

"I can probably win that one." Topher nodded.

"It was kinda boring. That's why instead, I'm bringing back the shakingest, the quakingest, bone mashingest, face bashingest challenge of all! The disaster movie earthquake challenge!"

All three contestants gasped.

/

The obstacle course from the disaster challenge is shown, with all three contestants looking nervous. "Good luck finishing first with Samey holding you back." Topher said.

"My/Her name is Sammy!" Alejandro and Sammy said.

"I know, I'm doing this to throw you both off. Is it working?" The blonde smirked.

"Contestants ready?" Chris said from his golf ball launcher, holding the button that started the whole thing aloft. "Action!"

The three contestants began to run up the obstacle course, mostly just running around the obstacles as Chris shot golf balls at them. Then Chris is shown filling up the launcher with various tools and shooting them. Back on the course all of them missed. "Hey Chris, you have poor aim!" Alejandro called back.

"Yeah, Amy's a better shot and she's a teenage girl!" Sammy added.

Chris glared and a flash transition shows him setting up a large slingshot to shoot a toilet at them. "Alejandro, look out!" Sammy cried pushing the Spaniard out of the way as the toilet smashed the ground next to him.

"Gracias." Alejandro said.

A sink was sent flying and Topher barely managed to dodge it. Down at the slingshot Chris turns as Chef arrives with a large safe on a trailer attached to a cart, "Made me think of you." The cook said.

"Really?" Chris replied.

"You want a hand?" Chef asked.

A flash transition later both men are pulling the large safe from either side so they can use the slingshot, "The way you torture the kids, you're a natural you know that?" Chris said. "Knocking them down, bruising them up, killing their spirits. Nobody could do it quite like you pal."

"You really mean that?" Chef said.

"If you really want to leave the show, it's cool .Just know that I and a lot of fans will miss you." Chris said.

"Nah, I couldn't leave you all alone like that, you'd be terrible on your own, you're not that good." Chef told him.

"So you'll stay?" The host asked.

"After I get a raise, and a vacation." Chef said.

"Deal."

"Let's finish these suckers off!" Chef declared as the let go of the safe. On the obstacle course Alejandro is hanging from one of the sets of monkey bars. The safe flies by and Sammy groans off screen.

"Sammy!" Alejandro dove down to where the twin was pinned by the safe, slowly sinking into the hole made by it. He moved to pull her out.

"Alejandro!" Topher called as the focus shifted to show him standing at the zipline out of there. "If you leave her now, I'll take you with me! It's a free ticket to the final two!"

"Alejandro!" Sammy cried, as she was shown slipping further.

"You can be the greatest villain reality TV has ever seen! All you have to do is come with me!" Topher pleaded.

Alejandro's face hardened and he grabbed Sammy's hand. The focus shifted to Topher stared at them wide eyed. Then he glared. "Fine then, just remember you could have been great!" With that Topher rode down the zip line.

"Sammy, hurry!" Alejandro said as he got her out of the hole.

The two quickly made their way to the zip line. "How do we?" Sammy began, Alejandro had already removed his belt. "Oh right." She wrapped her arms around him.

"Hang on tight!" Alejandro advised as they slid down the line. When they landed Topher was almost to the door.

"See one of you in the finale!" He called as he ran through the doors.

Sammy and Alejandro smirked and began to run for the door, the two of them shifting back and forth in the lead. The focus moved back to show everyone watching this from the Aftermath Room. "And the last member of the final two is-"Kitty and Geoff said. Sammy and Alejandro both burst through the door at the same time. "A tie?"

The two hosts looked at each other. "Then who's going against Topher in the finale?" The peanut gallery gasped, and Sammy and Alejandro looked at each other as to be continued flashed on screen.

Chapter Text

The usual shot of the film lot from a distance begins the recap, what is unusual is that Geoff's voice overlays it. "What? I'm supposed to read that? Okay, last time on Total Drama Action!" Alejandro, Sammy, and Topher are all shown tied to the mast. Then the three are shown working to clean the bathrooms, followed by Alejandro and Sammy helping each other up the greased mast and Topher being shot out of the air cannon. "Our timbers go seriously shivered as Alejandro, Sammy, and Topher suffered through the final pirate movie challenge. With Alejandro and Sammy working together to keep Topher from a spot in the final two. Whoa dudes! Looks like that was a blast!"

Alejandro and Sammy are shown facing the monster and being handed the shovel to lift up the fake hill. Then Sammy is shown wearing a saddle, then both Alejandro and Sammy are shown running through the prison movie obstacle course, across a minefield blindfolded, making baskets, playing badminton, and trying to punch down a bear with marshmallow gloves. The Alejandro is shown carrying a dress clad Chef across a bridge, and Sammy on the vomit comet. Then Topher is shown answering all the trivia questions. "They followed it up with a crazy run, through every crazy challenge from the whole entire season. And even though Alejandro and Sammy worked to get through these challenges together, Topher caught up fast earning bonus time through his knowledge as a fan of the show!"

Alejandro, Sammy, and Topher are all shown on the disaster movie obstacle course. Sammy is shown getting hit by a safe and Topher is shown standing at the T bar encouraging him to ditch Sammy. Then Topher is shown riding the zipline, and Alejandro is shown saving Sammy, then the two are shown using Alejandro's belt to ride down the zipline. " All three semifinalists ended up doing the third challenge, where Topher offered Alejandro a free ticket to the finale if he'd only abandon Sammy. Luckily for her he refused and Topher went on win a spot in the final two! Thanks to a last moment of kindness from Alejandro, he and Sammy ended up tied for second place."

Topher is shown on the top of the screen, a jagged horizonal white line splits him from Sammy and Alejandro, who are on the bottom half facing one another with a line between them. The Geoff is shown on the aftermath couch and as he closed out the recap the focus moved out to show him both on the screen in the aftermath studio and actually in the studio. "Who will join Topher in the finale? Find out right here and right now on Total Drama Action!"

(intro)

{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,

And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

Everyone is shown in the aftermath room looking shocked at this turn of events. Both sides of the peanut gallery are shown in close up, followed by a close up on a shocked Sammy and Alejandro, a smug Topher, and ending it on Geoff and Kitty on the couch. Geoff turned to Kitty. "What do we do now?"

"Surely you planned for this eventually?" Alejandro said.

"No, but while we figure that out, why don't we give the people eliminated after our last aftermath a chance to be interviewed." Geoff said.

"Great idea Geoff! It's only fair, and I'm sure our audience will love it!" Kitty said. The audience cheered. "Of course, we'll have to limit each contestant to two questions.

"Oh, come on!' Topher complained. "What about figuring out who's going to be in the finale with me?!"

"Don't get your pants in a knot! There's plenty of time to figure that out! Topher take a seat in the finalist chair." Geoff said gesturing to a throne. Topher sat down. "Sammy, Alejandro, you can sit in some folding chairs." A blonde intern placed two folding chairs next to the finalist's chair. Sammy and Alejandro sat down.

"Let's start with Amber, since she was the first eliminated after our previous Aftermath." Kitty said "We don't have any footage prepared for you, so we hope this introduction will be enough. She's a bookworm with real vindictive streak, spent most of her time on the season arguing with Topher, and once got in a serious fight with a duck, it's Amber!"

The audience cheered as Amber stood up from her spot in the peanut gallery and sat down on the couch next to Kitty and Geoff. "Amber I think we'd all like to know, are you proud of how far Alejandro's come?"

"Of course, I am! He gave up a free chance at the finale just to save Sammy!" Amber said.

Alejandro smiled. "Chica, I am glad to hear that."

"I do have one request though." Amber said.

"Name it." Alejandro said.

"Ditch the creepy doll of me you've been keeping in your pocket?" the bookworm asked.

Alejandro pulled out the princess Amber doll from his pocket and tossed it away. "Better?"

"Much better." Amber smirked.

"We'll throw our follow up question out to the crowd. " Geoff said. He pointed to a random person in the audience. "You there!"

"Aren't you mad at Alejandro for flirting with Topher?" The person asked.

"A little, but he never went further than that, so..." Amber said.

"Thanks for that Amber! You can go back to the gallery now." Kity said. Amber nodded and returned to her seat.

"Our next guest has an overinflated ego and was added to the show as a mole. It's Jo!" Geoff said.

A chorus of cheers and boos greeted the jockette as she sat down on the couch next to Kitty and Geoff. "So Jo, did you ever feel guilty about being the mole?" Kitty asked.

"No, why should I? It was the only way to take my rightful place in competition!" Jo said.

"Rightful place my ass!" Scott said from his place in the peanut gallery. "You got left out of the season fair and square!"

"What would you know about fair Cheaty Megee?!" Jo smirked.

"Considerin' you were getting producer benefits the entire time you were there, I don't see where you get off sayin' that blondie!" Anne Maria scoffed.

"You're defending me?" Scott gasped.

"Don't look into it, I just hate Jo." The jersey reject replied.

"Whatever! The point is no, I never felt bad." Jo repeated.

"Okay, time to throw another question out to the audience!" Geoff said. he pointed to yet another random person. "You there!"

"So Jo, what kind of revenge do you have planned for Noah?" The person asked.

Jo smirked. "I could tell you, but that'd be giving scrawny a heads up. I'd much rather he wait in fear."

Noah rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm so scared."

"Well you should be." The jockette said.

"Well that's all the time we have for you Jo! You can return to the gallery," Kitty said.

/

A framed picture of an island and palm trees is shown before the focus shifted out to show Chris and Chef, both wearing leis as they joined a queue at the airport. "All right, sunset beach," Chris said. "Here we come. Since the producers left Kitty and Geoff in charge of the finale we get to take off. It's been a long season, I really deserve this vacation."

A pudgy white guy in a blue Hawaiian shirt was standing in line ahead of Chris. He turned. "Hey aren't you Chris McLean?"

The host removed his sunglasses as he replied. "Busted, you know I try to keep my ID a secret when I travel, bot looks like these are hard to hide." He placed his sunglasses back on his face and flashed a smile.

Chef rolled his eyes as a white woman with blonde hair in ponytail and wearing a red sweater open over a black shirt and jeans turned around from her spot ahead of the previous guy to talk to Chris. "Chris, can I have your autograph?!"

"Nope," Chris replied ungraciously. "but you can let us cut to the front of the line." He walked past to address the stewardess behind the ticket counter. She was dressed in a blue stewardess uniform and had blue eyes and brown hair in a ponytail. "Now you," The woman gasped in joy. "You can have my autograph fine looking lady." The brunette fainted.

Chef shook his head, and looked towards a screen where the finale was playing out in real time. "So we've got someone working on that tie breaker." Kitty was saying. The focus shifted to the actual studio. "But before we get to our next interview we have an announcement."

"Since Chris took off on Vacay, we prepared some never-before-seen clips." Geoff said.

"Yep, ever wondered what Chris is like when the cameras are off? Well wonder no more!" Kitty smirked.

"We're gonna play them later in the show for ya'll but here's a little preview to get you interested." The party dude said.

Static

A light blue shower curtain shows the silhouette of Chris in a shower cap, using a back scrubber as a microphone as he sings in a well done falsetto. "I stand against the wall, waiting for you to ask me to dance! My heart is in your hands! Ooh Ooh!" A white hands moves the curtain aside to reveal the upper half of Chris wearing a light blue shower cap that matched the curtain, holding a purple back scrubber in the act of singing. Shocked, Chris covers his chest and lets out a high pitched scream.

The focus shifted back to the screen in the air port. "Uh, Chris?" Chef tried to say.

"Shush," The host replied, still looking at the stewardess. "I'm scoring us an upgrade."

"You really wanna see this man," Chef said as the focus shifted back to the screen where Chris is now eating a large sandwich dripping with mustard and mayo, a large amount of which was around the host's mouth and chin.

Chris turned as the stewardess giggled behind him. He gasped and cringed. "No!"

/

Back in the aftermath studio. "Alright let's move on to our next interview!" Geoff said as the audience cheered.

"He's a snark king with a secret sensitive side, and he's accidently sleep cuddled multiple people! It's Noah!" Kitty said.

The audience cheered as Noah sat down next to kitty. "Did you have to mention the sleep cuddling?" He deadpanned. Kitty shrugged.

"So, Noah man, I think we're all curious, where do you and Crimson stand relationship wise?" Geoff asked.

"Well, after a long talk, we decided to keep dating. Even once the show is over. We've exchanged numbers and e-mails, and she doesn't live too far from me." Noah said. "She the first person I've ever felt like this about, so..."

"I'm sure our shippers are glad to hear about that!" Kitty said as the audience cheered.

"I'd take more than the show ending to stop us from seeing each other." Crimson deadpanned. "Besides, he still has to meet Ennui."

"Have I mentioned how much I love the name? If he's anything like you it describes him perfectly." Noah replied.

"Okay, throwing out yet another question to the crowd? You!" Geoff said, pointing to an audience member.

"Noah, do you know about all the ships the fandom has for you?" The person asked.

"Unfortunately, yes." The cynic deadpanned.

"What do you think of them?" The audience member asked.

"I think the fandom needs to get a life." Noah replied. The audience laughed. "I'm serious."

"Oh, they know." Kitty replied. "But at this point being insulted by you is considered an honor. Thanks for your time you can return to your seat."

/

The focus moved over an extremely busy traffic jam to the lame-o-sine. It then cut inside to Chris and Chef. "You call this driving?! What are you doing?" Chris complained.

"Well Chris," Chef began, clearly being sarcastic. "When a lot of cars are stuck on the same road, it's called traffic."

"We have to get there now! Those kids are destroying my show!" the host snapped.

"And you're destroying my vacation, so maybe we're even." The cook replied.

"Dude, I want a third season! If they mess this up we can get cancelled!" Chris yelled.

"I think you're overreacting the kids are doing fine."

"Your reputation isn't the one getting dragged through the mud!"

"What do you want me to do? Engage the wing button and fly the car?" Chef said sarcastically.

"I bet Ryan Seacrest's driver could fly the car!" The host retorted.

/

"And now our final interviewee!" Kitty announced on the couch. "She's a feisty goth who's new to the season, owns two lizards, and defeated the vomit comet, it's Gwen!" The audience cheered as Gwen sat next to Kitty.

"So Gwen, how does it feel to be voted out right before the semifinals?" Geoff asked.

"It kinda sucked, but I saw it coming. Once Topher got immunity it was obvious I'd be going home." Gwen sighed. "Still I made it way farther than I thought I would. I'm not the most popular person at home, so I figured I'd get voted out early."

"Well, we're the show could change your mind, and don't worry about the people at home. If they can't see how awesome you are then that's on them." Kitty said.

"Thanks guys." Gwen smiled.

"Yeah, you're a real hit, the fans love you." Geoff said as the audience cheered.

"Wow? Really? I don't know what to say." the goth said.

"And now, one final question from the crowd! You!" Geoff pointed at a member of the audience.

"Do you post any of your art on the internet?" The person asked.

"No! I mean, I don't think they'd like it. I'm not that good." Gwen said.

"Give yourself more credit, I've seen your sketches. They're great." Sammy said.

"And trust me, even if they were terrible the fandom would still love them." Topher said.

"Hmm. Well, maybe." Gwen said.

Harold ran over to Kitty and whispered. "Oh good!" The selfie lover said. "Looks like we finished just in time! Harold's rigged up something to break the tie between Sammy and Alejandro."

"As a founding member of inventive Steve's junior inventor's gizmo league, I've been behind many a genius contraption in my life." Harold said, the focus shifted outwards to show Harold was standing next to a frame with a large red sheet inside. A piece of the sheet is cut out like a Tetris z block placed vertically. " To emerge victorious, Sammy and Alejandro will have to contort their bods to fit through these specially shaped holes. It's brilliant really."

/

Chris and Chef are still in the lame-o-sine. "Turn left here!" Chris ordered. "Now go right," The car turned. "Now go straight ahead!" The Lame-o-sine skid to a stop. Chris and Chef exited, and the Lame-o-sine peeled off. The focus moved out to show Chef and Chris were now at Camp Wawanakwa.

"Love the shortcut." Chef said sarcastically. "You gonna get a new job as a GPS?" The host shrugged nervously.

/

Harold stood in front of the hole from before now standing on a conveyor belt that had been placed in front of it. "Prepare to contort!"

The audience cheered as Sammy and Alejandro faced each other. "It's a good thing I'm flexible." Alejandro smirked.

"Don't count me out! I'm a cheerleader." Sammy smirked back.

Sammy stepped on to the conveyor belt and bent over. Geoff and Kitty are briefly shown being excited at the crowd cheered. The Focus shifted back to Sammy, who is now on the other side of the hole. .

Alejandro went next and the hole was the shape of an uppercase t. Alejandro smirked and easily shaped himself to fit. Harold is shown looking impressed as the crowd cheers and the focus shifted back to Alejandro now on the other side of the hole.

Sammy and Alejandro are shown in split screen for a second, then Sammy is shown contorting, the current hole is shaped like a spider. Ella is shown clapping as the audience cheers.

Alejandro's turn on the conveyor belt. He contorts himself. This time the hole is shaped like a palm tree. Anne Maria is shown cheering as the audience does the same.

A series of flash transtions show a montage of Sammy and Alejandro Contorting to fit through holes. First Sammy having to go through a strange hole shaped like something between a bicep and a space needle. Kitty and Geoff are shown cheering. Then Alejandro having to go through a hole shaped like a flamingo. Then Sammy is shown hunched over with one leg crossed over the other. Alejandro is shown bending over on one leg with his hands over his head. Sammy on one leg with hands to her side. Alejandro standing on his hands with his legs bent.

Next a series of holes are shown. First one shaped like a couple of clouds and birds, then one shaped like a ladder, a pretzel, an elephant, a sports car, a unicorn and Chris. Geoff and Kitty are shown. "I don't know how they're fitting through these holes, but they are!"

"It's neck and neck people! The slightest mistake could mean the difference between going victory and loss!" Geoff cheered.

Sammy's got her arms out to the side and her feet straight. She easily slid through the cross shaped hole in front of her. "Nice one Sammy!" Geoff said.

Alejandro stepped on to the conveyor belt and attempted to contort his body, the next hole is over Harold's face and try as he night Alejandro could not squeeze through, crashing to the floor.

"And the one who will be joining Topher in the final two is Sammy!" Kitty declared as the audience went wild. "Join Topher in the finalist chair!" Sammy is shown helping Alejandro to his feet, then she ran over and attempted to squeeze into the chair next to Topher . She just barely fit.

"This is a tight squeeze." The cheerleader noted.

Geoff chuckled. "We know! Anyway, before we move on to the final showdown, it's time for some embarrassing, never before seen footage of Chris McLean!"

The audience cheered as the focus shifted to the screen over the host couch. The first clip is of Chris sleeping in bed wearing a white nightcap and night shirt. He's holding a teddy bear and has his thumb in his mouth. The second clip is of Chris in the make up confessional. He is completely bald and his head is being sprayed with something in an orange bottle. Then a wig that looked like Chris' hair is placed on. The third clip is Chris opening his trailer door, he is in nothing but a light blue bathrobe, which is confirmed when a gust of wind blew up his bathroom revealing his pixelated groin.

"What exactly is going on here?!" Chris voice interrupted. The footage cut to Chef and Chris arriving on the set of the aftermath looking irate. "Did the network listen when I told them that putting a couple of amateurs in charge would be televised poison? No! Why would they?"

Chris joined Geoff and Kitty on the couch. "But now that I'm in charge-"

"Chris we have things handled!" Kitty protested.

"I don't think you do, now get off my couch!" Chris ordered.

"I don't think so! Geoff and I have already gotten kicked from our position as hosts before. So you know what? You're gonna have to share the couch!" Kitty said.

"Fine, but I'll be taking over the final showdown!" Chris insisted.

Geoff and Kitty looked at each other and nodded. "Well then, welcome our guest host Chris McLean!" The audience cheered wildly.

"Thank you. Now what we're gonna do is give each contestant who competed this season a chance to ask a question of Sammy and Topher, because they will the ones to decided who to give the million Deneros to!" Chris annouced.

"But why do we need to ask a question of them?" Ella asked. "We know them!"

"Do you? Really?" Chris asked.

On the screen Topher is shown in the boys trailer while they sleep. Everyone but Geoff and Scott are there. Topher smirked and took out a camera. He took pictures of himself with each of the boys. He put bunny ears over Duncan's head, pretended to crush Harold's head, stuck his tongue out in a picture with Noah, made a rock on sign in a picture with Trent, and did a kissy face with Alejandro. Once done Topher held the camera to him happily and put it away, then he pulled the covers over Alejandro. "Chris man! You can't show me fanboying over the cast!" Topher protested.

There was static and then Sammy was shown right outside the girl's trailer. Chef approached with a basket of candy bars." What's that?" She asked.

"Candy basket, sent by the girls of the total Drama fan club for all the girls to share!" Chef explained.

"That's really nice of them." Sammy smiled. Once Chef was gone she looked at the basket. "Looks like there's one for each of us." She noted. She pulled out two of the bars and began to eat. Static cut to Sammy bringing the basket inside. "Hey girls, someone sent us candy bars. I've already has mine." Each of the girls got one, but when Amy got there the basket was empty.

"Samey! What?!" Amy complained.

"Oh sorry Amy, they must have miscounted." Sammy smirked.

In the peanut gallery Amy stood up and pointed at Sammy accusingly. "I knew you ate it!"

"Well, its not like you haven't stolen a ton of Candy from me over the years!" Sammy retorted.

"Ah yes, I'm back baby!" Chris said. "As I said before, each contestant from the past season get a chance to ask Sammy and Topher a question one that helps them decide who will land that cool mil. Total Drama peanut gallery, it's up to you to choose between these two sorry, finalist. Geoff and Kitty, you were eliminated first. So you can ask the first questions."

"Alright, so I wanna know are you planning to throw us a party if you win?" Geoff asked.

"Why not? I mean Kitty lost her chance so." Sammy replied.

"Well duh! How are we gonna celebrate the season if we don't party?" Topher asked.

"Well, that helps me out. Kitty?" Geoff asked.

"Are you going to use any of it on college?" Kitty asked.

"Well, maybe. I don't know, what I want to go to college for." Sammy admitted.

"Please, if anything I'm gonna use it to jumpstart my hosting career!" Topher said.

"Moving right along," Chris said. "Scott?"

"If I vote for you will you give me some of the money?" Scott asked.

"No." Topher and Sammy both answered.

"Ouch! All right let's see if we can raise the level of this show with Crimson!" Chris said.

"I'd like you to compose a haiku about one of your deepest fears." Crimson said.

Sammy paused. "um,

My biggest worry,

Is that I will one day snap,

and become Amy"

"Nice, Topher?" Crimson asked.

"My biggest fear is,

that I will be forgotten,

like many before." Topher easily answered.

"Okay, I've taken that into consideration." Crimson deadpanned.

"Let's give it over to Ella!" Chris said.

"Are you planning to give any of the money to charity?" The princess wannabe asked.

"I mean, I guess I could. A million is a lot of money." Sammy decided.

"After how hard I've worked? No Way!" Topher said.

"I see, I'm disappointed to hear that Topher." Ella replied.

"I don't need your vote." Topher scoffed.

"Trent? You got anything?" Chris asked.

"I mean? My vote is pretty obvious. So... what kind of music do you like?" Trent asked.

"I like all kinds of music. Pop, classical, country." Sammy replied.

"Show tunes." Topher replied.

"Harold?" Chris asked.

"I will require you both to do your best drawing of a made up animal." Harold explained as he handed each of them a pencil and a piece of paper." He took out a stop watch. "And go!" Both finalist began to draw after what couldn't have been more

than ten seconds Harold told them to stop. He took the drawing from them. He held up one of the pieces of paper. It was a squirrel with dragonfly wings. "A Dragonsquirrel? Very good Sammy." He held up the other. "Topher, this is just a picture of you with butterfly wings and a scorpion tail."

"True, but humans are animals as well, so really, I combined a human with a butterfly and a scorpion." Topher explained.

"Interesting, unotheridox but interesting, you have surprised and intrigued me sir." Harold said as he rejoined the peanut gallery.

Amy, save us from being bored to death." Chris groaned.

"Okay, let's get real here. There's no way I'm ever gonna vote for Samey, but that doesn't mean I can't take advantage of this. Topher, Samey, in order to decide where my vote is going, I need you to come up with the best compliment you can give me."

"Easy! You're cunning, beautiful, and one of the best villains in the entire show! You're also a million times more interesting than Sammy." Topher said.

"Ooh, that's gonna be hard to beat. Well Samey? I'm waiting." Amy smirked.

"Why would I ever compliment you?! You've done nothing but make my life a living nightmare for the better part of sixteen years! I refused to entertain your vanity, just so you can vote for Topher regardless!" Sammy snapped.

"Sorry Samey, I guess I won't be voting for you." Amy smirked.

"Okay, and now for the next inquisitor. Ellody." Chris said.

"I would like to know what your plans for the money are? In detail if possible." Ellody said.

"Well that's simple, first I'd get myself the best agent I could afford. Then while my agent gets me a hosting gig, I'd take a short vacation. Then I'd the best makeover artist I could, and buy a form fitting suit so I look perfect for my new hosting gig. Oh! And hire Chris' masseuse." Topher explained.

"You seemed to have it well planned out. Sammy?" Ellody asked.

"I don't know, I never expected to get this far, but like I told Ella, some it will go to charity." Sammy admitted.

"Really? That's all you can say?" Chris groaned. "Okay, Duncan please come up with something interesting!"

"Okay, I want to know the worst thing you've ever done." Duncan smirked.

"Oh, well, one time I put a fake beauty mark on my face and told mom I was Amy, so she got in trouble instead of me." Sammy admitted.

"Yeah, it was so unfair!" Amy said.

"No it was completely fair! You're the one who actually broke mom's vase and tried to pin it on me!" The younger twin retorted.

"Honestly I can get behind taking revenge on a sibling." Duncan said. "Topher."

"One time I broke into a store after dark so I could get my hands on the last limited edition Chris action figure. All they had left was the display one, and they were just gonna throw it out anyway! As one of Chris' biggest fans I had to save it!"

Duncan blinked. "Okay, the crime is pretty hardcore, but the reasoning is lame."

"Amber, make it quick would ya?" Chris said.

"I think we all know who my vote is for. You know considering one of you got me voted out, and tried to manipulate my boyfriend into becoming the worst version of himself! So I guess my only question is, are you proud of yourself Topher!" Amber snapped.

"Yes, yes I am." Topher smirked.

"You're killing me." Chris groaned. "Jo?"

"Since no one is respecting my role as the mole I'm gonna ask you to a simple question. If you got asked to be the mole, what would you do?" Jo asked.

"Um, I don't think I'd want to be in that situation. I'd probably just turn it down, working behind people's backs makes my stomach turn." Sammy said.

"Lame." Jo said.

"I'd do my best to make friction between castmates. I'd find out all the little weaknesses in their friendship and exploit them. Then once everyone was in disarray I'd take the game by storm and win!" Topher said.

"So kind of what you've already done?" Jo smirked.

"Exactly." The blonde agreed.

"Noah?" Chris said.

"Are either of you going to do anything productive with the money? Besides charity and expanding your own interests?" Noah asked.

"Uh, I guess I can use it to move away from Amy as soon as I turn eighteen?" Sammy said.

"Are you saying my hosting career isn't productive?" Topher asked.

"I'm out." Noah said.

"and finally Gwen." Chris said.

"I want to know how each of you plans to use the money to help the environment when you're not thinking of yourselves." Gwen said.

"Well, I heard there's a ton of trash in the ocean. So maybe I could donate some of the money to one of the groups trying to clean it out." Sammy said.

"Really? Wow, I'm impressed." Gwen said.

"Well helping the environment would be could for my image. So I'll donate to those tree planting groups and get the whole providence covered in trees!" Topher decided.

"Well a donation for selfish reasons is still a donation." Gwen said.

"And that's everyone. Get ready to vote!" Chris said. "Alright Total Drama Action contestants, you'll be voting right here in this special voting booth." Chef wheeled a porta potty next to Chris. "Budget's gone, gotta work with what you got."

/

Crimson reached out and grabbed off a piece of toilet paper, then she began to write.

Static

Ella grabbed her own piece of toilet paper. "Oh I do hate to choose, but Topher was really mean this season. So I guess I will vote for Sammy. I mean, I do believe that anyone can change. Even Topher, but right now he's not someone who deserves the money."

Static

Scott is in the booth. "Look I don't like either of them, but at least Topher actually played the game. Sammy only made it far because of her alliance with Alejandro."

Static

Amber is shown in the booth. She sneezes into the piece of toilet paper she just picked up. "Great, now I have to get another one."

Static

Duncan glared at the camera. "Buzz off!"

Static

Noah is holding his paper and pen, He gives the camera a flat look and covers it with his hand.

Static

Gwen holds her scarp of Toilet paper to her. "You're not seeing it, I refuse to be predictable."

Static

"I can't wait to get off this stupid show." Amy said as she attempted to write on her piece of toilet paper. Nothing came out, So Amy groaned and began to shake the pen. The ink inside squirted out all over her face. "Ugh! Stupid pen!"

The focus moved from the screen down to Chris, Geoff, and Kitty on the couch. "The million dollars will be awarded right now! Who will it be? I have the answer right now contained within this urn." The host pulled out a jar of pickles filled with votes. He sniffed. "It still smells like dill. And now that votes."

Sammy and Topher are briefly shown, then Chris places the pickle jar on the table. He reached in for the first piece of paper. "What the?!" He pulled out a piece of paper covered in ink. Amy is shown covered in ink. Chris smirked. "That's one for Topher." He grabbed another. "Sammy. That's one vote of Topher, one vote for Sammy." He grabbed another vote. "One more vote of Topher," He grabbed another. "Another vote for Topher!" Topher is shown looking smug. "That's three votes for Topher, one vote for Sammy."

Kitty moved to grab a vote, Chris slapped her hand away. "No Touchie!" Yet another vote was grabbed. "Another vote for Sammy, " He grabbed another. "And yet another vote for Sammy! That's three votes for Topher, three votes for Sammy."

"Get on with it!" We hear Jo yell.

"I will not let you spoil the nail biting tension I am deliberately weaving here!" Chris said. He grabbed another. "That's yet another vote for Sammy, and one vote for…" Chris frowned. "Your mom? Really?" Duncan smirked back at him. A flash transition takes us to the final slip of paper in the jar. "The Season two, Total Drama winner is-"

…

…

…

…

."...Topher!"

Confetti flew through the air as Topher stood up. The audience was a chorus of both cheers and boos. "Thank you, I knew I'd win!" Chris handed him the million dollar suitcase. " I'd like to thank Chris for hosting the show, the crew for making it, and my fellow contestants for losing! Most of all I want to thank you, the fans. Without you the show wouldn't have been popular enough to have a second season! Then reality TV would be without my face, and what a shame that would be!"

The focus shifted to Sammy, who looked a little sad. "Sammy?" Trent said as he approached. "You okay?"

"I'm a little disappointed, but I still made it to second place! I beat Amy, made some new friends, and stood up to Chef!"

"You were awesome.:" Trent said.

The focus shifted back to Topher. Amy approached. "So did you mean what you said earlier about me being pretty, cunning, and million times more interesting than Samey?"

"Every word." Topher replied.

"Great! Because you know, every host needs a co-host." Amy said with her eyes fluttering.

Topher pushed her over. "Sorry, there's only enough room for one in my spotlight!"

The focus moved back to Sammy and Trent watching. "Besides, seeing Amy get rejected on international TV is almost worth a million dollars." Sammy said. The two giggled.

The focus shifted to Chris, Geoff and Kitty on the couch. "And so it ends, thanks from me your beloved and humble host-"

"Ahem." Kitty cleared her throat.

Chris sighed. "Hosts-"

"Kitty," the selfie lover said.

"Geoff!" The party dude added.

"And Chris McLean!" Chris said. "And from our loser Sammy it's been great season of-"

All three host spoke at once. "Total Drama Action!"

/

/

/

/

…That was one turn of events but what actually happened was…

/

/

/

/

"That's yet another vote for Sammy, and one vote for…" Chris frowned. "Your mom? Really?" Duncan smirked back at him. A flash transition takes us to the final slip of paper in the jar. "The Season two, Total Drama winner is-"

…

…

…

…

."...Sammy!"

Confetti flew through the air as the twin stood in shock. A chorus of cheers came from the audience. "I did it?! I won!" Sammy gasped.

Trent ran over and hugged the twin. "I knew you could do it!"

"You did, and after everything this feels like the perfect ending. I beat Amy, made some new friends, and stood up to Chef!"

"You were awesome.:" Trent said.

The focus shifted to Topher who was pouting. "So feel bad about losing?" Amy asked as she approached him.

"Not too much. The audience loves a good villain, and I provided that. So long as the fans are happy I'll be okay." Topher replied.

"What about your hosting career?" The mean twin asked.

"The money would have been a big help, but after this season I should have a big fanbase. Between that and my raw talent I'm sure to become a host anyway." the blonde said.

"So did you mean what you said earlier about me being pretty, cunning, and million times more interesting than Samey?"

"Every word." Topher replied.

"Great! Because you know, every host needs a co-host." Amy said with her eyes fluttering.

Topher pushed her over. "Sorry, there's only enough room for one in my spotlight!"

The focus moved back to Sammy and Trent watching. Amber, Alejandro, and Gwen join them and lift the cheerleader over them. "Our season two winner Sammy! " Chris announced as the focus moved to him. "She gets a million dollars!" He tossed the suitcase to Sammy, who fumbled it but managed to catch it.

The focus shifted to Chris, Geoff and Kitty on the couch. "And so it ends, thanks from me your beloved and humble host-"

"Ahem." Kitty cleared her throat.

Chris sighed. "Hosts-"

"Kitty," the selfie lover said.

"Geoff!" The party dude added.

"And Chris McLean!" Chris said. "And from our loser Sammy it's been great season of-"

All three host spoke at once. "Total Drama Action!"

Chapter Text

The special begins with a shot of earth from a distance as a satellite with a magnifying glass over a star on it, is pulled up. The focus zoomed into a spotlight as an unknown celebrity stepped into a limo, the focus shifted to a hand popping out of a nearby dumpster and taking a picture.

The flash takes us to an airport, where the large screen displays the same logo as was on the satellite. The focus moved left to the Sasquatchnakwa's hand popping out of a potted plant and taking a picture. That flash takes us to a fancy restaurant, where a cute brunette girl in a red top sits across from a brunette boy with a defined chin wearing a white cowboy hat, sunglasses, and a white tank top. He is eating spaghetti and begins to choke. The focus shifted right to a bowl of green goo from which a purple tentacle withdrew holding a camera. It takes a picture.

The flash takes us to a black chubby man, wearing jeans, a white jacket with red accents, and a red hat. He gets kicked in the crotch. a muscular white man wearing green jeans, a white shirt with green accents and an orange beanie is shown holding a camera before he gets punched out by a muscular black arm that resembles Chef's.

A man with black hair styled upwards stood against a city skyline. He turned around to reveal the has a very defined chin, narrowed blue eyes, a large nose and a shining smile. He is wearing a black tux with a red tie. The scene moved out to show the city skyline is merely a poster and a Hobo is sleeping under it. The name Josh comes up on screen.

A film reel transitioned to a woman's hand is shown as someone off screen applied red nail polish to it. The focus moves out to show a blonde woman with narrow blue eyes. She wore a red dress and matching earrings. The name Blaineley appeared above her. A wheel of film reel rolls across the screen to reveal the logo from earlier against a yellow background.

It faded to a studio with Josh and Blaineley behind a podium with the same logo on it. Behind them is a background that looks like red drapes. Several hanging lights are above them. "Hey there Celebrity lovers, welcome to a very special edition of Celebrity manhunt!" Josh introed.

"Tonight's the night we've been waiting for all year, the gemmi awards!" Blaineley continued The silhouettes of a ponytailed woman and a man on the red carpet with a velvet rope behind them is shown as she explains. "That's when our best TV stars get all dressed up and take home the gold." A giant statue of a woman in a dress holding an old CRT TV up in her hands falls on the two silhouettes, crushing them.

The red carpet is shown as Josh continues. “In about half an hour we’ll take you right on to the red carpet to meet the hottest stars.” The focus moves through to the door at the end of the carpet to transition back to Blaineley in the manhunt studio.

“I am so pumped for this. Are you Josh?” Blaineley asked.

“Oh yeah!” the male host replied.

The next few lines were swapped between the hosts in rapid succession starting with Blaineley.

“The shoes!”

“The tuxes.”

“The hair,”

“The Drama!”

Both hosts squeed.

(intro)
{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;

{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )

You guys are on my mind!

{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)

Ya asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!

(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)

I wanna be...famous!

(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)

I wanna live close to the sun!

(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)

Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!

(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)

Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;

(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)

I'll get there one day.

(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)

'Cause I wanna be...famous!

(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )

(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)

I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)

(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)

*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *

(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )

(end of intro)

The letters C and M are shown next to a camera popping out of a trash can to take a photo. This quickly transitions back to Blaineley and Josh in the manhunt studio. “Welcome back to Celebrity Manhunt” Blaineley began. “We thought we’d pay tribute to this year’s most famous reality show cast. The teens who braved it all on the set of Total Drama Island and Total Drama action.’ The logos of those seasons appear to the right of the hostess as she names them.

The backdrop of the red carpet from before is shown as a picture of each castmate appears on screen in a four by six square as Blaineley lists them off. “We’ll catch you up on, Sammy, Kitty, Geoff, Amy, Trent, Duncan, Crimson, Ellody, Camron, Dawn, Ella, Noah, Alejandro, Amber, Jo, Harold, Tyler, Lightning, Xena, Anne Maria, Scott, Max, Gwen, and Topher! They’re nominated in the category of Best Reality Ensemble.”

“I think they’re gonna nail it Blaineley.” Josh said, the scene now back in the Manhunt studio.

“No doubt.” The blonde replied.

“And when they reunite on that crimson rug.” Josh continued over an image of the cast in orange on a yellow background. A large syringe with the Celebrity Manhunt logo on it was stuck into the graphic of the cast as it sucked all the orange out of them, leaving them white, “Celebrity manhunt will drain every last drop of Drama from these super famous teens.”

“Love it!” Both hosts say, giving each other a fist bump.

“Total Drama may have ended, but the drama goes on and on.” Blaineley said. “Our crack team of undercover gossip reporters has been super busy this year.”

A still frame of Max cackling as he activates a robot is shown. “Wannabe evil genius Max is still trying to prove himself!” Camron is shown tripping over his own shoes in his room. “Klutzy Cameron wiped out on camera during his blog.” Anne Maria and Scott are shown fighting in a TV studio. “Meanwhile temporary aftermath hosts Scott and Anne Maria were given their own show, to disastrous results. The celebrity manhunt cameras caught them all,” Amy, with her hair now grown back, is shown covering her beauty mark with foundation. Even Amy attempting to pass as Sammy after her hair grew back.” `

“Ooh I can’t wait to see if those twins bare their claws on the red carpet. Rawr.” Josh said. Blaineley gave him a flat look. Josh stopped posing with a disappointed look.

“We’ve been measuring the popularity of this famous gang using our amazing, awe inspiring, celebrity manhunt Drama Machine!” Blainely declared.

The focus shifted to show a broken down robot with a square head featuring a bored face in blue and an excited face in orange over a meter that was somehow in the shape of a frown. The Robot’s body was open as the lower body of a man in green pants that showed off his buttcrack poked out, the sounds of repairing from inside. “It’s busted.” The repairman called.

Blaineley looked surprised but recovered quickly flashing her hostess smile. “Let’s start with Total Drama’s most recent winner and her bestie, Sammy and Amber. The two friends took off for London after the show. Things started off well with the pair seeing the sights.” An image of Amber and Sammy at the London eye, Big Ben, and Buckingham palace. A second picture is shown afterwards with Sammy giving one of the guard’s her autograph. “Sammy even gave her autograph to one of the guards.”

“But things took a turn for the worse when the girls visited the Clink Prison Museum, which allows guests to view and get a hands on experience with various torture methods, among various other things. Take a look.”

A close up of one of the clink’s cameras is shown before the focus moves down to Sammy and Amber standing next to a rack. “I’m so glad you let me come here Sammy! It’s been on my bucket list for ages!”

An uncomfortable Sammy smiled weakly. “Yeah, I uh, never knew how cruel medevil torture was.”

“I know right?! It’s fascinating how standards have changed over time.” Amber walked over to a wall with manacles.” I wanna try those.”

“Are you sure?” Sammy asked.

“Of course.” Amber stood on the basket underneath them and placed her hands in the manacles. “Fasten them will you?” Reluctantly Sammy did so. “They used to move the baskets away once the prisoner was in place, leaving them hanging from their hands for however long. Which would take quite a toll on the human body.” Amber explained. “You can get me out now.”

Sammy tried to unlock them. “They won’t budge.”

“Really? Try again?” Amber asked.

Sammy kept trying to unlock the manacles, her eyes getting wider and more panicked as she failed. “I can’t get them loose. I think they’re jammed!”

“What?!” Amber gasped.

“Don’t worry! I’ll find a guide!” Sammy gasped, running off screen.

An image of Amber stuck in the manacles is shown as Josh continued. “Amber was stuck in those things for about half an hour. Still, what a scandal!”

Josh is shown at the Manhunt studio. “Will Amber and Sammy pull themselves together for the red carpet?”

“Sammy should be fine. As for Amber, we’ve seen how nice she looks with her hair down. Maybe Alejandro could give her some tips.” Blaineley said.

“Yeah, one look at those girls in some nice dresses, and we’ll forget about this mishap.” Josh agreed.

“Next up, post drama bods.” Blaniely continued as a picture of someone’s abs is shown. “This year, we saw major improvement and fitness fiasco.” The torso became fat as she mentioned the latter.

Harold is shown beatboxing in a recording room. The focus moved back to show the nerd’s gut is now quite a bit larger than it was before. “So I had a few burritos.” Harold said as he patted his stomach. “Killer beatboxing requires an expanded diaphragm.” He continued, pointing to his chest. “Like an opera singer. Check it!” Harold began to intersperse the beatboxing with low low notes.

Harold’s torse is shown in a picture to Blaineley’s left as she commented on it. “Harold let himself go,” The image of Harold’s torso is replaced by Jo working out. “But Jo pumped herself up! Way up.” The jockette is shown pulling a school bus behind her with nothing but a rope. “Someone’s gonna pull a sweat valve.”

“Deodorant anyone?” Josh heckled. “Speaking of, one hunky Total Drama Dude worked up a real body stank in the regions of cable TV.”

Lightning is shown sitting on a machine with two levers to his left is a phone number to call and in the upper right corner is a starburst with One hundred fifty dollars in it. Lightning began to move the levers back and forth. “If you want sweet abs like Lightning, check out the belly buster five thousand. Just go hard for eight hours a day and maybe you’ll stand a chance of having muscle tone half as good as mine.”

The jock laughed. “Sha please, like any of you losers are gonna look anywhere near as good!” The price dropped to eighty dollars. “Just do as Lightning does, grab those power handles, sit on the power spring and take it into overdrive!” Lightning began to move the levers faster and faster. The machine did not react well, and Lightning broke the handles on it.

“Sha Dang! Stupid Machine, it ain’t Lightning’s fault you can’t handle him!” The football jock huffed, storming off set as the price dropped from eighty dollars to five.

The image of the broken machine is now to Blaineley’s left as she comments. “Nice one Lightning.” An image of Scott and Anne Maria on a couch in a talk show set is shown. “Anne Maria and Scott also took to the airwaves.”

The focus moved in on the image as it transitioned to footage. “What’s up! Welcome to the Anne Maria show!” Scott cleared his throat. Anne Maria ignored him. “The show where I, Anne Maria, share my opinions on guests while letting you all bask in my stunning beauty!”

“Don’t you mean, the Anne Maria and Scott show?” The ginger said, looking put out.

“Ugh. the only reason you’re here is cause I wouldn’t get a show otherwise.” Anne Maria huffed.

“Exactly, so maybe you should let me talk?” Scott glared.

“Please, no one's here ta watch a greasy farm boy like you!” Anne Maria said.

“You say that like its a bad thing.” the ginger got in her face.

“Cause it is!” the jersey reject replied. The two began to argue so much that we can't hear any individual words.

The screenshot of the two former hosts arguing became small as Blaineley noted. “The show only had four episodes before the hosts arguing got boring and they were canceled, but while Anne Maria and Scott aired plenty of dirty laundry we went hunting for more.”

“But when it comes to one Total Drama teen there was no dirty laundry.” Josh said.

“Or any sign of him.” Blaineley continued as an extremely blurry photo of Noah exiting a limo holding a suitcase and wearing sunglasses is shown. “Noah, where are you?”

“This pathetic telephoto shot is all we got, but don’t worry folks we’ll hunt him down on the carpet tonight!” Josh declared.

A clip of a muscular white man wearing green jeans, a white shirt with green accents and an orange beanie is shown holding a camera and riding a skateboard. “Meanwhile, our cameras were hot on the trail of another Total Drama man of mystery.”

A still image of Max cackling evilly is shown as Josh continues. “Our wannabe evil genius Max went back to his house to plot. Celebrity manhunt caught up with him.”

“Make a fool out of me will they? Please, no one on Total Drama is half as evil as I! Alejandro even kind of went good. Pathetic, and Jo? I would never leave such incriminating evidence down where someone could get it! And to prove how evil I am,” Max whipped a cover off a robot next to him. “Behold! My evil robot! With merely the press of a button I can make him melt your face off!” Max pressed the button on his remote and the robot blew up,” The image of the soot covered Max froze and shrunk until it was next to Josh.

“Sorry Max, but you gotta earn evil cred.” Josh chuckled. “Next,” Amy slid on to the left side of the screen and Duncan on the right. Both in rooms with a keyboard in shot. “Duncan and Amy’s epic hate on, hit the internet with a full on blog war.”

The image moves to the center of the screen between Blaniely and Josh as Blaineley continues. “Can someone tell me how Amy got her celeb status? That girl makes scum look good.”

“If there’s a fight between Duncan and Amy then I’m team Duncan all the way.” Josh said.

“Me too. Duncan doesn’t follow the rules of society. He’s an awesome rebel punk, basically the opposite of cheerleader Amy.” The blonde agreed.

“Let’s check out some of that web action from earlier this year.” Josh said. “It all started harmlessly enough with Gwen making a blog on going green.”

Gwen is shown in a dark purple room with a four poster bed, and dresser with a small lamp on it in view. Behind her were Dawn and Duncan, the latter of which is holding a sign with the earth on it and the words go green underneath that. “Hey, today I wanna talk about going green. Basically the world is going to die if we don’t do something about it.”

“Indeed! Mother earth is in jeopardy, and not enough people care!” Dawn said.

“Dawn, Gwen hasn’t given the signal.” Duncan glared.

“Oh sorry, I’m just so passionate about this. I even took time out of my meditative retreat to join Gwen in speaking on the subject.” Dawn said.

“Why did you invite her?” Duncan asked Gwen.

“She’s popular, and if someone who reads auras and can talk to animals agrees with me about the environment I must be right.” Gwen explained.

“Okay, but if she’s here, then why do I need to be? Dawn could hold the sign.” Duncan said.

“To show support! Come on Duncan, just do this okay?: The goth asked, drawing closer to him.

Duncan’s face softened. “Fine, I’ll do it for you pasty,” The two began to kiss.

Dawn looked at the camera. “Uh, guys, we’re still blogging.” The couple ignored her. “Guys?”

The focus moved back to Blaineley in the manhunt studio, a picture of Amy next to her. “Then came Amy’s online attack.

Amy is shown sitting at her desk. She smirked. “Hey, did you see Gothie's latest blog? What a disaster. Dawn added nothing and Gothie made out with her boyfriend live! Speaking of which, I’m surprised at Duncan. He clearly doesn’t care about any of this and is only there for Gwen.” The cheerleader laughed. “Who knew the rebel punk was so whipped!”

The screen turned to static as Josh laughed. “Ouch! That’s sure to hurt Duncan’s pride.”

A still image of Duncan in Gwen’s room is shown as Blaineley continued. “Obviously, Duncan punk cred was on the line. He couldn’t let this slide, especially when Amy was also insulting his girlfriend.”

Duncan is shown in Gwen’s room blogging. “Did you know Amy almost committed identity fraud? After Sammy put her money away in the bank Amy was planning to withdraw it by stealing Sammy’s ID and covering her mole.” Pictures of Amy taking Sammy’s ID and putting foundation over her mole flash on screen next to him.

” But once Sammy caught her and explained how harsh the sentence for that crime was, she chickened out.” A picture of a smug Sammy and shocked Amy is shown. The delinquent laughed “ Oh sure Amy, I might be helping Pasty with things I don’t care about, but at least I actually went through with my crimes!”

Blaineley gasped. Then Josh continued. “After a few more weeks of this, we invited Duncan, Amy, and even Gwen to the celebrity manhunt studio.”

Josh is shown sitting on a pink chair against a pink background with a small table containing a pitcher of water with a glass next to it to his left. To his right, Amy, Duncan, and Gwen all sit in chairs. “You three have been through so much together. Ending up on the same team in Action, having to work together to cinch the win? Why not let go of the hate?”

“No way Josh. Amy is an annoying twit with a serious attitude problem!” Duncan snapped.

“Uh excuse you? I thought you liked bad attitudes!” Amy smirked.

“Not if they’re as hurtful and judgemental as yours.” Gwen said.

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you spoke for him. Sure you’re not whipped by your loser girlfriend Duncan?” Amy heckled.

“That’s it!” Duncan launched himself at Amy and knocked her off screen.

Gwen cheered. “Yeah you got this Duncan!”

The two Manhunt hosts are shown with Josh looking mildly disappointed. “I was kind of hoping Gwen would join in on the fight you know? Make it a real cat fight! Rawr.”

Blaineley is clearly listening to an earpiece as she says. “A major celebrity’s arriving at the red carpet.”

The carpet from earlier is shown as a limo pulls up. A camera is recording as Chris gets pushed out the door in his powder blue tux. He falls out of frame as Chef, in his tailcoat and purple bowtie exited from the other side. The host stands up holding his head as the focus moves out to include Chef in the frame. “Dude, where’d you learn to drive?! Nascar?”

“Yeah, suck it up.” Chef told him with his arms folded.

“Fine, you clean up the barf!” Chris told him.

“It’s stubble boy Chris McLean.” Blaineley’s voice overlay.

“Hey,” Chris said, noticing the camera. “Celebrity Manhunt, Josh. Say, did you get my video?”

Blaineley and Josh are shown frowning and looking away from the camera, the focus shifted to a turned over garbage can with a CD that had Chris’ face on it. A rat is currently working to eat through the cover. “Yep.” Josh noted.

Blaineley and Chris are shown in spilt screen. Chris is signing something. “Chris, you must be dying to see the Total Drama cast again.” The hostess said.

“Who?” Chris asked.

“The teenagers you abused for two seasons on national television?” Blaineley said flatly.

“Oh right, love their work, love them. Can we talk about my new show now?” Chris asked.

“We’re going to take a break,” Blainely said as Chris was pushed off screen. “Next we have the rags to riches, to rags story of the Drama Kin. The Total Drama band that rocketed up and down the charts, with their hit, "It was kismet.”

“Here’s a clip from last year’s chart topping video.” Josh said.

Ella, Topher, and Trent stand under a spotlight. Then Harold popped up on screen and began to beatbox. The others began to sing. “I felt a spark, when our eyes met, I swear, it must be kismet!.”

Chris is shown at the red carpet. “Throwing to commercial? I got this. Will Duncan snatch Amy bald? Will Lightning Ever get another sponsorship? Will Anne Maria and Scott end up fighting at the Gemmies? So many questions. Find out the answers when celebrity manhunt Total Drama Red carpet reunion returns. Right after this. That’s how you do it.”

An unamused Blaineley replied. ‘Thanks.”
/

A limo with a star hood ornament drives towards the screen as the letters C and M appear on the license plate. The transition cut to Blaineley and Josh in the Manhunt studio. “It’s celebrity manhunt’s Total Drama red carpet reunion special.”

“Now let’s take a look at what celebrity status can do for you.” Josh said. A picture of Ellody sitting at a table, holding up a book with an entire stack of the same next to her is shown. “Ellody, Total Drama’s aspiring astrophysicist took the celebrity book route with her novel, “The psychological effects of fame and reality TV. The book was highly praised upon release, with several Doctors and editorials calling it a remarkable look into the psyche of the Total Drama cast.”

Blaineley continued as the still image moved out to show no one was in line for Ellody’s book. “The general public disagreed with many pointing out how dry the text was. As well as many others feeling that the contents must have been greatly exaggerated. No one wants to hear about stars having problems.”

“A lot of people even called the book pretentious.” Josh said.

A screen of static cleared to show Ellody at the press meeting .Several microphones are on a podium with Ellody standing behind it. The backdrop was light yellow with a pattern of green clapboards on it. Ellody pulled out a set of cards. “To the general public, I beseech you to open your hearts and minds. There seems to be a misconception that being famous means you must be happy. You must have a perfect life. This is simply not true. The pressures of fame can have a disastrous effect on a person’s mental health. Particularly on a reality show like Total Drama. Chris McLean has made a career out of pushing the contestants to the brink of their sanity. Please, realize that the people you are watching are human, and they have struggles too.” Ellody bowed. “Thank you for your time.”

The scene halts and shrinks into a still image to the right of Josh’s head. “Ellody certainly seems to be passionate about this topic.” The host said.

“I agree, that speech was well thought out. But I say, if they didn’t want every part of their lives examined, then they shouldn’t have signed up for Total Drama in the first place.” Blaineley said.

A picture of Camron is shown to Josh’s left. “Although, Ellody’s book has inspired some to speak up in defense.”

Cameron is right in front of a keyboard. “Okay, the webcam is working, the lighting is good. Now I just have to hit record.” The bubble boy’s eyes widened. “Oh we’re already recording.” He gave the camera a sheepish grin. “Hey, so uh, I recently read through Ellody’s book and it’s fascinating. As someone who was around the cast I often found myself thinking back to times I noticed the very things Ellody has shed light on. It’s truly a wonderful look into what the pressures of Reality TV can do to you. So, go read it.”

Static Transtioned to Blaineley as she continued. “Then the news of public outcry against the book reached Cameron’s ears.”

Cameron is once again shown blogging. “I can’t believe you’re all so closed minded. You’ve seen the show, anyone would find themselves in mental duress after that. Although I guess it’s kind of ironic in a way.” The bubble boy continued, accidentally leaning back on his chair. “After all I grew up in the bubble for years and yet I seem to be less jaded. Fascinating, I wonder if-” Cameron leaned back too far and fell out of his chair and his face hit the computer screen.

The picture of Cameron’s squished face shrinks as Josh picks up where Blaineley left off. “This clip has been remixed and memed on relentlessly since it happened.” The still image disappeared. “But now let’s talk about one of Total Drama’s best couples.”

A picture of Kitty and Geoff lying on a lounge chair together is shown. “Kitty and Geoff the cohosts of the aftermath show.” The picture was replaced by a ton of magazines with the couple on the cover. “You just couldn’t open a fanzine this year without seeing a picture of Kitty and Geoff, or as we call them, ‘Getty.” Pictures of Kitty and Geoff posing together are shown One had the two giving each other bunny ears, Another had them sticking their tongues out, and third had them kissing. “Kitty’s selfie hobby meant the fans were constantly fed pictures on Tweeter. It seemed like they were the perfect couple, until one of our cameras caught them in an arcade.”

A clip of Geoff and Kitty playing on an arcade cabinet is shown. Kitty has a look of utter concentration on her face. Geoff looks just as chill as usual. Then the party dude cheered. Kitty grit her teeth and slammed her fist on the cabinet angrily. The cabinet shorted out. Geoff seemed oblivious to this. “So best two out of three?” Kitty gave him a flat look.

“When asked about this instance they had this to say.” Josh said.

Geoff and Kitty are shown at the same place Ellody said her speech. Kitty was chuckling sheepishly. “Yeah, I can get really competitive over video games. That arcade cabinet was not the first, or even the biggest thing I’ve broken with gamer rage. I guess I got a little frustrated. I’ve been playing that game for years and Geoff was completely new.” Kitty smiled at Geoff. “You have some natural talent Geoff.”

“Aw babe!” Geoff smiled.

“But talent will only take you so far. Next time I’m gonna own you!” Kitty declared.

“Oh you think so?” Geoff smirked back. They continued to give each other challenging looks, then they kissed.

“Ugh.” Blaineley said as the scene transitioned to her and Josh at the Manhunt studio. “That kind of perfect romance is just no good for drama.”

“Are you kidding?” Josh said. “They are still fascinating!” Kitty and Geoff are shown sitting on a couch together watching TV. “They watched TV.” Kitty and Geoff are shown eating pizza. “They ate pizza.” Kitty and Geoff are shown looking at a rack of postcards. “They bought postcards! I’m excited.”

“Did you see the aftermath show? Getty are amateurs, and Postcards? You have to earn gossip worthiness, otherwise I’m a changing the channel.” Blaineley said. “Let’s get back to some real celebrities: The Drama kin!”

A poster featuring four contestants spins on screen over a background of a blue sky and clouds. On the far left of the poster is Ella, she is wearing a blouse with a pattern of white quarter notes on it, pink bell bottoms and matching wedges. In the center left is Harold wearing a dark purple beanie, sunglasses, a dark purple tee with matching pants, his normal shoes and a huge gold chain with what looked like a clock shaped pendant finished the outfit. Center right is Trent wearing round sunglasses, a white turtleneck sweater, white jeans and his normal shoes. He is sitting on a stool, guitar in hand. On the far right is Topher, wearing sunglasses, a light blue sweater, jeans, his normal shoes and purple ascot.

“The Hit Total Drama band ruled the pop music world.”

A recording of a limo is shown. Ella exits the limo, “Yes! We’re selling out stadiums! I love sharing the gift of music with everyone! I wouldn’t even charge, but that wouldn’t be fair to the others.”

“It’s all about touching people on an emotional level.” Trent added as he joined the princess wannabe. “Do you know what I mean?”

Topher is shown in a recording booth. “Obviously my goal is still to become a host, but building a portfolio is important to getting hired. Chris started in a boyband, so why shouldn’t I? I don’t even play anything, but let’s face it, I’m here to be eye candy.”

Back in the manhunt studio, Blaineley has a flat look on her face. “Yeah, Topher, you look good, but eye candy is an extreme overestimation. Also, Chris was in a boyband? Sounds like some juicy gossip.”

A picture of the four band members walking across the street is shown to Josh’s left as he continues. “Just as their album shot to the top,” A picture of Harold, Topher, and Trent jumping off the roof of a house into a pool is shown. They are all buck naked with their crotches censored out. Ella is back on the roof looking on with a worried look on her face. “The trappings of fame shot straight to most of their heads.”

“ The party was over, but was their music career? “ Blanieley asked. “ When they weren’t out doing community service,” A picture of the band members looking into a hole is shown. Everyone looks upset but Ella. “The Drama kin were in the studio recording a new album.”

“Celebrity Manhunt caught up to them between sets.” Josh said.

The four band members are shown sitting in a recording studio on chairs. Topher on the far left, then Harold, Trent, and Ella. A speaker hangs on the left and right walls, a brown background of diamonds is behind them. To Topher’s left is a table with a pitcher of water on it. Topher is glaring at Ella.

“I’m sure my friends didn’t mean to cause any harm at the Birthday party.” Ella said.

“Sure Ella, rub in that fact that your reputation is still clean.” Topher huffed. “You didn’t even need to do community service, you just did it because you wanted to. Can you be more perfect?!”

“Whoa Topher, Ella’s not the problem. The music is.” Trent said.

“You mean the beatboxing.” Harold glared.

“H-bomb, you know I love your style but this is about giving the fans what they want.” The guitarist tried to reassure him.