Work Text:
June 20, 2017
Everything's going to be okay now.
With that realization, I felt the courage and resolve I'd built up over the past month dissolve, leaving me defenseless against the emotions that had been carefully bottled up and pushed aside. It all bubbled up at once, worry and fear that the school would be closed, concern for the students who would be affected, and the sense of inadequacy that marked my days as a rookie teacher. But those hardly compared to the loneliness of being separated from the one person who mattered most in the world.
It's okay now, I told myself, fingers clutching desperately at Kazuki's suit jacket, using that tiny bit of leverage to deepen our kiss. The school is safe, and you're here with me. Somehow that thought only made things worse, the odd tightness in my chest growing almost painful, forcing a muffled gasp from my lips. No, from our joined lips.
The warmth of Kazuki's mouth pulled away from mine, and I was unable to stifle a quiet sound of protest. Don't stop, I wanted to say, but my voice wouldn't cooperate.
"Keita, what's wrong? You're crying."
"I am...?" Sure enough, the tips of my fingers came away wet. "I'm sorry, I just..."
Kazuki pulled me close again, not for a kiss, but a firm embrace. "I'm the one who should be apologizing, leaving you alone like this while the school was in danger. I wanted to do more than just call you, but this was the soonest I could get back. I'm sorry, Keita."
"No, I know it's hard for you to get back home," I leaned my head against Kazuki's chest, calmed by the steady heartbeat. "And it's not like you abandoned me. We talked every day. I wouldn't have known what to do without your advice."
Fingers smoothed through my hair, lingering over the places that made my scalp tingle with a gentle pleasure. "I'm glad my advice was useful, Keita, but I still think my favorite part of calling you is the more intimate discussions we have. I'm so glad you gave up on your plan to live in the staff dorm. You get pretty loud on the phone."
I blushed. "I- it's because you say such terrible things!"
Kazuki placed his fingers under my chin, smiling at how hot my skin had become, and tilted my face up. "You didn't seem to think they were terrible at the time. In fact, I distinctly remember you begging me to go into more detail."
"Kazuki! That's--"
The rest of my protest was cut off by a kiss, hot and needy, that left me completely unable to think. Kazuki's hands grasped my face, thumbs smoothing over hot cheeks, clearing away the dampness. My eyes dropped shut, pushing out the last of the tears, which had disappeared just as suddenly as they had welled up. The summer night was warm, but now it was almost unbearably hot, the heat trapped between our bodies leaving my skin tingling. Or maybe that was the beginning of arousal, the shivering spark that raised the hair on my arms and made my chest tight with want.
I was dimly aware of our surroundings, our somewhat vulnerable position in the darkened school courtyard. But no one would be out now, not during the party to celebrate both the victory in the Bell One and Kasahara's birthday.
Reason was chased away by the wetness of a passionate kiss, the slick slide of one tongue against another. It seemed perfectly natural to be pressed up against the nearby brick wall, with Kazuki's knee pressing between my legs to nudge them apart. If I moaned in response to the heat against my hip, at least I could be sure that the throaty sound had been swallowed by Kazuki's mouth.
There was a quiet gasp, almost in response, and suddenly the warmth of Kazuki's body was gone.
"Eh?" I blinked, momentarily stunned. Kazuki was staring into the darkness, hands pulling nervously on his jacket, settling it back into place. My eyes followed his gaze, taking a moment to adjust. When they did, I pushed away from the wall, cheeks burning.
"So that's what it is," Kasahara scowled at us, one hand on his hip. "What a surprise."
"Kasahara, shouldn't you be celebrating with your friends?" Kazuki had recovered his composure in an enviably short time; I still wasn't sure I could breathe normally, so I settled for standing a small distance from Kazuki and staring at the ground.
"Probably, but I got a little curious when I saw Professor Ito sneaking around out here."
My face was on fire.
"Anyway," Kasahara continued, his voice growing sharp, "why didn't you just tell me? I thought you'd just dumped me off on some clueless newbie teacher - uh, sorry, Professor - without any real reason. I could understand leaving me with Dr. Matsuoka, since he's been at the school for a long time, but..." He shrugged. "You've been together for a while, haven't you? So why act like you're ashamed of each other?"
"We're not," I finally found my voice. "It's just..."
Kasahara's stare made me shiver; when had the sullen young man become so harsh? "It's just what? You thought I couldn't be trusted? I was trusted with the entire damn school, but I couldn't be trusted with the reason my so-called guardian dumped me off on someone else? And that was only after Professor Sakaki refused to play babysitter, so I got pushed onto the next sucker!"
"Kasahara," Kazuki's tone was one of warning, "that's enough."
Kasahara was angrier than I'd ever seen him, gesturing sharply with his arms. It was strange to see him so animated, and in some way, it highlighted the wrongness of the situation. My heart was pounding as he continued, "No, it's not! I'm tired of all you rotten adults sneaking around and screwing the rest of us over. It would have taken five minutes to explain your relationship, and then maybe I would have been able to rely on the Professor for support. Hell, you didn't even have to give me the details, you could have just said he was your best friend or something!"
I recognized the way Kazuki's body tensed even though he was facing away from me. I knew that his tone would be harsh before he opened his mouth. "Kasahara--"
No. It will be a disaster if you're harsh with him.
I placed one hand on Kazuki's arm, a silent request to keep quiet. He turned toward me with a sharp look, but it softened immediately when he saw my tense smile. I shook my head, then gave his arm a gentle squeeze. He was too stressed to react properly, and as much as he hated to admit it, his ties to the school had loosened. It was my job to watch over and protect the students now. I knew I'd failed Kasahara in all but the simplest of ways, somehow making the right choice in entrusting his brother's letter to Asahina. Only Asahina had been able to get close to Kasahara, earning his trust and sparking his desire to protect the school.
I still didn't know what hidden pressures had been placed on Kasahara. It seemed like there was much more than the obvious pain of losing his brother and the responsibilities of handling the director's position. All my attempts to uncover the truth had been turned aside or ignored, and after several failed efforts, I'd given up in frustration. It had been too easy to get wrapped up in my job, the struggle of practicing my skills and learning new ones, but it didn't change the truth.
We'd failed him, this tender-hearted and suffering boy. Kazuki had become his guardian with hopes of something more, that we might truly add him to our tiny family some day. With Kazuki called away on business, earning Kasahara's trust had become my responsibility. If anyone was guilty of foisting him off on someone else, it was me. And to hand him over to another student, just a boy - well, Kasahara had every right to be angry.
The only way to repair this is with the truth.
"Kasahara... I'm sorry. It's my fault."
As expected, Kazuki couldn't keep quiet after hearing that. "Keita--"
"Kazuki, let me talk." I stepped forward. "Kasahara... you're absolutely right. I should have been honest with you, but I was too worried about myself, and about Kazuki. There were so many things going on, and between the Bell One and my own worries about being a new teacher, I got so caught up that I didn't pay attention to you. These past few weeks were the time that you most needed support, and I wasn't there for you."
Kasahara looked uncomfortable. "Well..."
If he had more to say, he was still holding back, so I continued, "I hope this doesn't just sound like a bunch of excuses. Thinking back on it now, I realize that everything was a terrible mistake, but I want to explain the reasons. I'm not asking you to accept it or forgive me, but if you could just listen and know that my intentions weren't malicious, that would be enough."
Kasahara's shoulders seemed less tense, but he was still silent, still watching me with a sleepy expression. I recognized it as the one he wore when trying to ignore or distance himself from a situation. With everything that had happened, I couldn't blame him for not wanting to hear me out. But still... I had to try.
I always wanted a family. I hoped you could be a part of it.
But I couldn't say something that selfish. It would push him away forever.
"It was a mistake, not telling you the truth of our relationship. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, with me being so new to the school. Kazuki was only trying to protect me, so no one would think that I didn't work hard to be accepted as a teacher here, or that I might have inappropriate intentions toward any of the students. I guess we were trying to make it so I'd seem more approachable to you, but that backfired. We just didn't know how you would react."
I closed my eyes for a moment, not wanting to see his reaction. "I know it's terrible to make assumptions about anyone, but... there was no way to guess if you'd be able to accept me as your advisor if you knew. And I'm sure you realize how critical it is for our relationship to remain a secret."
There was a long pause, and I tentatively met Kasahara's eyes, searching for a reaction.
"So annoying," Kasahara muttered, looking away.
"I'm sorry. I should have been honest with you."
"I don't know why you're trying so hard to apologize, professor. At least you made an effort, even if it didn't amount to anything. But," Kasahara's glance went to Kazuki, "I expected better from my guardian. It's not about the school. I did that for my brother, not for you or anyone else. Hell, it's not even about the secrecy and lying by omission. I..."
He turned away, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead. "I don't know what it is. It's just more of the same. Everyone wants something from me."
"Kasahara..."
"No," he straightened up again, shaking his head as if to clear his mind. "No, forget it, I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not going to be the victim, and I'm not going to blindly do whatever other people want."
I didn't know what that moment of internal struggle had been, but when Kasahara's eyes met Kazuki's, he was calm and confident. "That means you too, Mr. Suzubishi. My brother entrusted this school to me, so I intend to protect it in the way that I think is best. The fight isn't over yet, but I don't want you to worry about it." His expression softened. "I have support."
"The student council president and Professor Sakaki?"
"Yes. They can both be trusted. This school wouldn't exist right now if they couldn't."
"It's true," I offered. "Asahina is sincere and dependable, and like Nao said, it seems that Professor Sakaki has been quietly supportive the entire time." Nao had also said that his assistant director was harsh, a fact that I knew quite well after working with him for several months. That harshness, I knew, had been difficult for Kasahara to deal with, already wounded by the loss of his brother.
But now Kasahara was stronger. "Not just seems, he has. I just wasn't able to recognize it as support until now. I need him and Yuki, both of them, to settle this mess."
My pulse quickened. I knew it, there's still something going on. The Bell One win wasn't the end of it.
Kazuki's brows drew together in concern. "What mess, Kasahara?"
Kasahara shook his head. "Don't worry about it. We can handle it ourselves. I respect your experience and opinions, but if I'm going to be held responsible for this school and the students, then I will be fully responsible for everything. If we need help or advice, of course I'll contact you, but I'm asking you to trust me. Making the right decisions, finding the right choices and support, isn't that what you expected from me?"
Kasahara's firm determination drew a smile to my lips. How many times had I heard Kazuki declare his devotion to the school, promising to improve it despite the internal fighting on the board? For a moment, Kasahara's expression reminded me the serious face Kazuki wore for board meetings and TV interviews. That look was far more powerful than the impressions given by a tailored suit or a firm, elegant manner of speech.
But at that moment, Kazuki's expression was almost pained. Kasahara wouldn't recognize it, but I knew the meaning of that subtle narrowing of his eyes, the barest frown on his lips. The school wasn't his anymore. It hadn't been for years, since Nao, but somehow it was different with a boy, newly sixteen, claiming it as his own.
Kazuki nodded despite that. "Yes, Kasahara, that was exactly what I hoped you would do. Your brother would be proud."
"Don't bring Brother into this," Kasahara sighed. "Yes, he'd be proud, and yes, when I'm not feeling motivated, I think about what he would do. But I'm doing it for the students too. And for myself. I want to stay at this school with everyone, so don't make me out to be selfless..."
Finally, a hint of a smile returned to Kazuki's face. "Well, I can't say that my years at this school were completely motivated by a selfless devotion to education."
I felt my face getting red again. Kasahara chose that exact moment to look toward me again, and my cheeks prickled. Damn, why was I so self-conscious? "Um, that's not true, Kasahara, Kazuki truly loves this school. He clung to his position as long as possible. So if you need help with anything, please don't hesitate to ask, I know Kazuki will do anything he can to assist."
"It shouldn't be necessary." Kasahara waved off the offer with one hand. "And as for your relationship, you have my word that it will remain a secret. I'm not the kind of shallow person who uses personal information to harm others, or who cares about the gender of someone's partner." A faint smile came to his lips. "This is a boys' boarding school, after all. I'd think it was weird if it didn't produce a few couples every year."
That was enough to bring a hint of color to Kazuki's cheeks. "Kasahara!"
"Heh, that's better. So you're a real person after all." There was a soft smile on Kasahara's lips. "That's all I wanted, you know. Just talk to me. I'm a real person too."
"Kasahara," Kazuki sighed, "I'm sorry. Things weren't supposed to turn out like this. I thought I'd be able to get back to Japan more often, but I wasn't able to break away until now. I had a lot of time to think things over while I was away, but I thought it would be best to speak in person. Maybe that wasn't the best decision. I could have called you."
God knows you called me often enough, I thought, heart skipping a beat.
"Well, whatever. What's done is done." Kasahara shrugged, the motion a bit stiff. He wasn't satisfied, but at least he wasn't shutting himself away. "So... why not talk now?"
"What about your birthday party? Won't your friends miss you?"
"Yes, but this is more important. Why don't we start from the beginning?" He offered his hand to Kazuki. "Kasahara Tomo, first year student and director of Bell Liberty."
Kazuki stepped forward and clasped his hand. "Suzubishi Kazuki, head of Suzubishi Pharmaceuticals and Insurance, and heir to the Suzubishi Group of companies." He motioned toward me with his free hand. "And this is Ito Keita, a new history teacher at Bell Liberty, and..."
Kazuki's eyes met mine.
And? Somehow my heart was pounding.
"And my fiance."
"Kazuki!" As if my face hadn't been red enough already.
"It's true, isn't it?"
"You guys are that serious, huh?" It seemed that even Kasahara was blushing a little. He let his hand fall back to his side as he looked from Kazuki to me, then back again. "So why are you hiding everything? Don't all your friends know?"
I sighed. "It's... complicated. Because of Kazuki's position, we have to keep our relationship a secret. As the only child of the head of such a large and powerful group... well. There's a lot of politics and such involved, and pressure to marry the right person, and all of that."
"Like having kids," Kasahara observed.
He was a bit too perceptive for someone who was still a kid himself. "That's part of it, yes. We're trying to keep things quiet until Kazuki officially becomes the head of Suzubishi. Then no one will be able to complain."
"Oh, I'm sure there will be complaints," Kazuki muttered, "but no one will be able to do anything about it at that point. That's all I want. For us to be safe."
Kasahara was eyeing us with an expression that was something between that's too sad and I don't get it, and I realized that like many people his age, he didn't understand why it was a big deal. The world was evolving, slowly but surely. And this boy, the one we hoped to raise as our own, was part of it.
Kasahara finally spoke, hesitantly, as if worried that he might say the wrong thing. "Well, not everyone is a stuffy old dinosaur. I wish you'd told me sooner, maybe things would have been a little different for me." He sighed. "But I get it. And at least I know now. I mean, technically you're supposed to be taking care of me or whatever," he glanced toward Kazuki, "and that's not the sort of thing you'd hide from your family, is it?"
Family. I felt a little jolt at hearing the word come from Kasahara's own mouth.
Kazuki had the opposite reaction, letting out a heavy sigh. "Our families don't know."
Kasahara made a face, like he'd realized he had made an awkward mistake, but I jumped in before he could mutter an apology. "Don't worry about it, Kasahara. The only reason I haven't said anything to my family is because they wouldn't be able to keep their mouths shut. My mom would be blabbing to all her friends about how I'd found such a good match, and what's wrong with my sister for not having a high-class boyfriend, and blah blah." I sighed. "Trust me, they'd be a little too happy."
"That sounds annoying," Kasahara sympathized.
"Right? So to my family, we're just friends, and they don't even know who Kazuki really is."
"Keita," Kazuki nudged my shoulder, giving me a look that meant you're saying too much. I frowned a little - didn't we want to draw Kasahara closer? - but stopped talking.
"Yes, Kazuki?"
"You're forgetting that it's Kasahara's birthday. I'm sure he'd rather spend time celebrating with his friends than talking with us. And," he smiled at Kasahara, "I have something for you."
Kazuki reached into the inner pocket of his suit jacket, smile quickly fading as he fished around. "Hmm, I could have sworn I... where is it...?"
"Did you leave it in the car?" I murmured. "Sorry, I forgot to remind you about it..."
"Don't worry, that's my fault for rushing. Sorry, Kasahara, I'll have to go get it from the car."
"It's fine, it's fine," Kasahara waved one hand at us. "It's not like I'm going anywhere, so we can meet up again later this week. I should hurry back to the party before someone comes looking for me. And," he gave us a smug look, "I'm sure you two have a lot of catching up to do."
Once again, it was my turn to blush. "Kasahara!"
"Heh, I'll see you two later, then." He offered a cheery wave and headed back toward the cafeteria.
I watched until he disappeared into the darkness. "Is he really going to be okay?"
Kazuki's hand caught mine, cool against my sweaty palm. "I'm sure of it. He has a lot of friends now, just look how many of the students are gathered in the cafeteria right now."
"Well, it's to celebrate the Bell One too..."
"You said he'd gotten close to the new student council president."
"Asahina," I nodded. "They're very close."
"Like this?" Kazuki pulled me into a firm embrace.
I rested my head against his shoulder, shaking it lightly. "I don't know. Kasahara guards his secrets carefully, I never know exactly what he's thinking."
"Let's hope that he'll guard our secret as carefully as his own."
"I'm sure he will."
We stood there for several minutes, watching the activity in the cafeteria. All of Kasahara's friends were there, smiling and laughing, and though they tended to clump in their original groups - student council at one table, Durak in a corner, club members hanging out together - they also mingled with each other, and spent time with Kasahara and Asahina.
They've become the focus of the entire school, at least for the moment. That sort of attention did wonders for me when I was a student, unsure of my place at an amazing school like this.
But no amount of nostalgia or hopes for Kasahara's future could change the weather. It wasn't long before I shifted, made uncomfortable by the heat and humidity, and Kazuki let me go.
"Come on, let's go home. I've been waiting for this day for a long, long time."
"I missed you so much." I mirrored his smile. "Welcome home, Kazuki."
~ end ~