Archive of Our Own

Sleeping while raining outside is a very comforting idea.
The perfect weather to rest your aching body, to slip into your wool jacket and flop down into your clean and fragrant mattress while the lamp is on its dimmest light, Cigarettes after sex full playlist playing in the background while the rain outside blends the music to lull Jeonghan to sleep.

It was a rest he knows he needed; his body needed.

He will sleep the Saturday away and make sure he gets himself fully charged when Monday comes, when works and tasks pester him again and when he is fully loaded with emails to send.
Jeonghan doesn’t mind the work, the job pays a good amount of money and to be really honest, he doesn’t mind working alone, he very much prefers it. That’s the reason why he applied for a job that lets him work remotely.

“Isn’t that the same as a call center?”

“No Mom, it’s Virtual Assistance. I work as an Executive Virtual Assistant, it’s a different thing.”

He hates explaining things to people. Jeonghan doesn’t have that kind of patience, only his family. But they know him too well they don’t really push him. They never really ask him a lot of things. Nevertheless, they worry. Jeonghan changed. It was as if adulthood took his smiles away and they aren’t sure what he was planning to do or what he was waiting for.

The phone rings until it stopped. Then it rings again.

Eyes shot open, Jeonghan almost didn’t recognize his own room. He tried to recall what happens before he sleeps. But in a split second, he finally got a hold of his phone and closed his eyes after seeing Seokmin’s name on the dialer.

“Hey…”

“Jeonghan Hyung, where are you?”

The latter sighed and opened his eyes that are still droopy. He felt like the sleep was just as short as an hour, but he just noticed that the rain had stopped already however, there was still no sunshine.

“I’m home, just woke up. What was it?”

“Hyung, I’ve been trying to call you since yesterday because it was your day off. The gang decided to have dinner and wants you to come.”

Jeonghan looks around. Scratching an invisible itch in his eyes and realizing Seokmin’s words.
His eyes squinted and he replied.

“Why are you the only one asking me this if they all wanted me to come?”

The sulk is as clear as his feelings. Jeonghan didn’t like it.

“Hyung, they all sent you a message, but you never checked them. They also tried calling you yesterday, but no one answers. So, I decided to call you again today and got lucky.”

Jeonghan checked the time on his phone. It said 6 pm. Jeonghan then answered.

“No one called me yesterday Kyeom. I’m literally just sitting in my station the whole day, no chance of missing their calls or messages.”

This time, he stood up and opens his window. The cold breeze of the incoming evening slaps smoothly on his skin as he breathes in the December breeze.

“Wait, you work on Saturdays now?”

Jeonghan looks at his phone weirdly out. What does this friend mean?

“What do you mean? It’s Friday yesterday. Aigoo, look at you losing the sense of time.”

Jeonghan even laughed. He starts to walk out of his room when Seokmin disagrees.

“Hyung, it’s Saturday yesterday. Today’s Sunday and the dinner is tonight. Look who’s losing the sense of time here. Does this happen a lot?”

Jeonghan was suddenly awake. His eyes navigate through his own living room and there he finds his digital clock that says Sunday and a specific time. And no, this wasn’t the first time that he sleeps for almost whole 24 hours. He silently groans remembering what time he slept.

Knowing that he has nothing to do on the weekends, he stays up all night and sleeps Saturday Morning, only to wake up almost evening the next day.

“Hyung are you there?”

Seokmin called out after not getting an answer for almost half a minute.

“Y-yes. I mean, no it doesn’t and yes I’m still here.”

He heard a sigh from the other line and Jeonghan felt bad for lying, but not really.
Eventually, Seokmin told him to get dressed and that he’ll come to pick Jeonghan up so they could go to dinner together.

The phone landed on the soft sofa and the clock ticks as Jeonghan squeezed a little more sleep in a few minutes.

This wasn’t the first time Jeonghan hated going out. The truth is, he hates having to choose between clothes and see which one he should wear. If he refused to go out, he wouldn’t have to do all of these and be bothered to put in so much effort. He could just lay in his living room and watch movies and sleep and work again tomorrow. But he also hates the idea that he is slowly letting his own friends drift away from him. He likes them, he loves and adores them and no matter how much he wants to make up excuses despite being a few hours away from being fetched, he still continued slipping into his black coat and his pants that he chose over jeans.

He looks at himself in the mirror, it was an eye-opener how he heard his own stomach grumble and realized that all he ate the day before was the pizza left over from his order. Jeonghan felt pathetic. He heard his phone ring, and he lets it stop, thinking that Seokmin is already outside waiting, and he never answers. He gave himself one last look in the mirror.

The image of Seokmin waiting outside his car in his colorful jacket and amazing boots is what Jeonghan has in mind as he sets foot on the outside world. So, it was a surprise to see Mingyu leaning on his motorbike while he types on his phone. He brings the thing to his ear and Jeonghan was startled to hear his own phone ringing.

“Hyung.”

“Mingyu.”

They said in unison. The latter stood straight and walk straight to him.
I was calling you earlier, but you didn’t answer.

“Oh, it was you calling? I thought it was Seokmin, he said he’ll pick me up.”

Mingyu nodded and asked as he wears the black helmet Jeonghan. Make sure he locks it in place and the smaller feels comfortable.

“Ah, didn’t he text you in advance?”

Jeonghan checks his phone while Mingyu wears his gloves and his own helmet.
Jeonghan mentally slaps his face seeing the unread message from Seokmin. Apparently, the younger had to pick up something important so he sent Mingyu to pick Jeonghan up instead.

“You hold tight, okay?”

Jeonghan puffed an air as he looks away, feeling a little weird in his stomach. He must be really hungry already.

Mingyu sets him in place and made sure he got Jeonghan’s limbs wounded on his torso. When the motorbike started, Jeonghan breathed anxious. Nevertheless, he trusts Mingyu for a safe ride.

“Relax Hyung, I got my license with me.”

He said and he laughed. Somehow it got Jeonghan at ease.

The ride was long and the city lights in beautiful. Jeonghan realized he missed the night at this time. Car horns weren’t really as loud as he hates them, thanks to Mingyu’s padded safety helmet.

As Mingyu pulls the gas, the faster they go, smooth like a river on its way to its destination.

“Oh, they’re here!”

Jeonghan heard familiar voices. He then saw his friends waving their hands in the air to gesture where they need to go. They had a whole long table and space in the restaurant. He can see Seungkwan giving him a glare.

Jeonghan sat down and felt his own hands getting cold.  He catches them staring at him. Mingyu, who sat beside him passed a tissue to him never really minding the silence.

Jeonghan pressed his lips in a thin line. He knows they are just playing around but still feels like they meant to give him a sulking treatment.

“If the world ends tomorrow, you’ll probably never know.”

Jeonghan nodded at Seungkwan, the latter was almost looking insulted.

“Yah! Hyung, you’re not supposed to agree, oh my god.”

They get Seungkwan’s sentiments, but Jeonghan doesn’t.

“That’s enough. Don’t make Jeonghan feel too bad for not talking to us for weeks now, he clearly doesn’t mean it. Right, Hannie?”

Jisoo laughed sarcastically at his own remarks. Jeonghan figured he needed to apologize. He just realized it has been 3 weeks since the last time they were able to get a hold of him, it was just him sending a smiley emoticon in their group chat and he sleeps after.

“I’m sorry people. I’m just really busy at work, the deadlines had me really occupied and I realized I should really say sorry for not opening your messages. I barely have time to check on my phone so…”

So, what Jeonghan? He asked himself. He didn’t really have the energy to deal with everything. And he can’t seem to find the guilt of his negligence. It’s just the way it is sometimes. At least for what he believes.

Their hidden huff died down the moment they realized that Jeonghan is taking this seriously. It was something they were planning to do earlier, to prank Jeonghan but all of them didn’t expect his response. Jeonghan is a game changer, but he never changes games to shut down the mood. He is witty and well aware-of his surroundings. Things that people envy him. But now, it was as if it wasn’t even Jeonghan anymore.

As they try to figure out a way to transition the mood to a brighter side, they all hear Mingyu’s slurp all of a sudden. He slurps and even throws his head back.

“This is fucking fire.”

Jeonghan finds it funny, Mingyu really is unaware of how worse his timing is sometimes, and this time, it saved Jeonghan.

He laughed and pat Mingyu’s back.

“Yeah, slow down, you might vacuum all of us in here together with your noodles.”

They all laughed because Mingyu looks pretty offended while Jeonghan laughs.

“Take Jeonghan hyung away, Mingyu might kill him.”

And another reason to laugh, Jeonghan finally understand, being alone and lazy cost waves of laughter from the people he adores the most. So Jeonghan smiled and sat down.

Solitude most of the time is a great escape but in rare times it can be really addicting. The need to not bother other people with your own time and favors is something Jeonghan is drawn to. So, when he sees the number of unread messages in their group chat, he wasn’t surprised when he just gave them emoji reactions. He flops back down to his bed and makes sure to turn the lamp to its dimmest light. But before he could even close his eyes, his phone rings and Jeonghan swears on his mind. The urge to leave it alone ringing tempts him but to his dismay, he cares more than he thinks.

With a huff, he took the phone back into his hands and answered.

“Mingyu.”

“Hyung! Hi, can you come to the door? I’m outside right now.”

With his knitted brows, Jeonghan had a questioning face.
Nevertheless, he stood up and check his door cam. He saw Mingyu with a plastic in hand that somehow looks like there was a box in it.

“What are you doing here?”

Jeonghan asked when he opened the door. He never meant it to sound mean or suspecting but the words came out just like that and dissolved in the open air which Mingyu breathe in.

“Oh, nothing really. I just thought I want to visit you.”

Jeonghan looks back inside his room and when he finds himself confident with how clean it looks, he steps back and opens the door.

Mingyu took that as a cue, and he enters bowing his head to make sure it won’t hit anything on his way. There wasn’t anything, really. He just knows how clumsy he is, and he wants to be careful.

Jeonghan still contemplates why Mingyu is here, he has things running through his mind. Did the gang send Mingyu this time? Is Mingyu going through something? Is he hiding from anyone?

“Nothing really, I just want to spend my day off with you.”

It was as if the taller can hear his mind because he answers with his back on Jeonghan and he flops down on the sofa placing the plastic on the coffee table.

“Why so sudden? You should’ve texted me. What if I wasn’t here?”

“Well, you’re here and you never open our messages. You’re always home so I just know. Unless someone from our friends tells me they’re with you.”

Jeonghan wants to throw back another word, but no words came out. They find themselves silent in the room and Jeonghan thought he should do something. Mingyu was faster to analyze things, he moves first and leaves Jeonghan alone in the Sala.

Jeonghan followed and saw Mingyu assembling some plates.

“Mom made some banana cake earlier. I asked for some portions, and you should give it a try.”

The banana cake excites Jeonghan but what he doesn’t get is why him? Mingyu is obviously closer to other friends why bother to get his way to Jeonghan’s house?

Mingyu opens his fridge and his eyes stare at it for a few seconds. Jeonghan sees nothing wrong.
He looks at Jeonghan who’s just quietly watching him. The fridge is full and packed. Necessary things complete and so does the other smaller fridge after.

“You really make sure you don’t go out that much, huh.”

A remark came like a jest. Jeonghan shakes his head and sat down even before Mingyu can fetch the cold green tea juice.

Finally, the banana cake was pretty, looks beautiful, and tasted wonderful. Jeonghan suddenly was thankful for Mingyu crashing into his house.

“What made you come here? Don’t tell me random shits, just tell me why here.”

Mingyu looks at him with eyes blinking, trying to comprehend the meaning behind Jeonghan’s words. They sound horribly suspecting despite him looking like a kid eating the last piece of the strawberry Mingyu brought as an extra.

“Well, nothing really. I was just trying to check on you. You’re missing in action since Jisoo and Seungcheol Hyung announced their engagement. They worry.”

Jeonghan nodded. He wants to explain that it has nothing to do with anything and he’s just busy, but he really can’t find the words to say. The need to not be bothered is not an excuse to neglect people whom he spent time with for the longest time.

“Well, I’m just busy. Jisoo and Seungcheol know that.”

Mingyu came up with disapproving noise. Jeonghan thinks of rolling his eyes, but he settles with glaring only. He understands that they worry. Jisoo, him, and Cheol were inseparable. The younger know how they always have each other’s back and how they all adore each other but when Jisoo revealed that there was a thing going on between him and their other friend, Jeonghan was also understanding, yet he felt the need to leap a small step back. He lets his space be filled by Seungcheol.

Jeonghan hangs out more with the younger ones after that, but they’re too enthusiastic and Jeonghan’s energy easily deflates like a dying balloon. It didn’t get any better when he resigned from his job as a marketing staff in a company and was drawn to working from home instead. Sure, Jeonghan loves going outside and hanging out with his favorite people but somehow, time does not work, and they started drifting away. Now that he realizes this, Jeonghan looks at Mingyu and his silent apology never came out. All he did was look at him and pour all the unsaid words through his eyes. Whether Mingyu understands or not, Jeonghan won’t bother to know.

“We’re all growing up Hyung, we’re going through the same things, but you know you can always reach out to us, right?”

Jeonghan looks away and never answered. Mingyu sighs.

Another week of Jeonghan spending all his time looking at his computer, making calls and meetings. This wasn’t hard as he thought it was, as time goes on, it just becomes a part of you. You live, work, eat sleep. Get up and do the same thing. Over and over again. Jeonghan was lucky he only has to place his trash outside and some staff picks it up before he even woke up.

Sitting on his couch, he looks at his phone and opens his gallery, the last weeks from his gallery pictures were all proposal pictures and aesthetic ideas for the graphic designs he wants to show his client for approval.

Jeonghan felt annoyed and somehow frustrated. He opens his Instagram and tries to take a picture of his window where the flowers were placed neatly in a vase. Jeonghan stared at it for a long time. He stood up and checks it. He smiled.

He remembered Mingyu barging into his house again last night and he brought some flowers to place on a vase. When Jeonghan asked, he dismissed it with “Mom told me to give this to you, she thought you might like it for decoration since I told her you barely hang outside.”

He takes another shot with his hand holding the white petal.
Soon, he sat down and started typing his caption.

[PRETTY <3]

He pressed share and contemplated whether he
should take it down or not. He figured he won’t.

When he was about to stand up and do some cooking, his phone vibrated and a message, a reply to his story was shown on top of his screen.

“Just like you Hyung. You’re pretty too!”

Mingyu is online and he just replied. Jeonghan again contemplated whether to reply or not. He ended up opening the message and reacts to Mingyu’s chat, but it ends there. He didn’t bother to reply, he just acknowledges. Sound like he’s a piece of shit but that’s just the way he is. Besides, he already felt the hunger in his throat, he’ll deal with Mingyu after he sucks on his ramen.

Just right after he eat, he decided to watch a movie and spend the rest of his day resting since he was already done with his work. His back aches, he minds. Remote in his hand, he picks up his phone while the movie starts. He didn’t really bother checking what it was, he just saw the good rating and he plays it. As his eyes draw back to his phone, he checks the new messages.

Some friends shared his story with their own stories, Seungkwan and Hoshi even added a caption.

‘Jeonghan Hyung finally remembered his password everyone.’

Jeonghan replied, “I didn’t forget it, what are you talking about?”

Hoshi’s caption was just a sticker of a tiger and Angels. A neon sticker that says I miss you was added.

Jeonghan shakes his head and smiles reacting with a heart to the younger’s story.

He looks back at the Television and tried to check the title. Ah, it was a romance genre. He hesitated to continue but thinks maybe he just push through with it. It’s a cliché story of friends falling in love and Jeonghan did nothing but watch.

“Must be nice.”

He murmured when the scene was focused on the couple having a good time. Jeonghan isn’t bitter. He thinks love is beautiful. Because of love, he and his sister were born. He’s happy for people who find love in whomever their person is. Jeonghan thinks love is amazing, it changes people and the way they see themselves. But one thing Jeonghan could say is, he never sees himself loving someone the way he sees others do.

Jeonghan is easy in the face, pretty and he’s very much aware of it. Many companies ran after him before, trying to cast him but he gently refused as he doesn’t want it. He lacks the need for the spotlight. He never wonders what it would have been. Never does he wonder what it would feel like.

Many girls and guys tried to make their move on him but not once he entertained them. He finds it boring; he loves being around his friends and that’s all he needs.

But as the movie climbs up to its peak, Jeonghan’s reflection also peaks itself.
His friends are starting to have their own people and own life outside their circles. Just like Jeonghan, they also get their own fantasy. His memories go back to the very time when he, Seungcheol, and Jisoo were still always together.

Back to when he decided he’d give them space. They never asked Jeonghan to do it, but his initiative is strong so does his understanding. Jeonghan filled in the blanks, did what he thought was needed to do, and does not wonder if the answer was correct, again, he didn’t bother.

As much as he likes the idea of love, it also took his people away from him.

The remote was back in his hand and the movie never finished. A few steps and he locked his own room.

Sleeping was a better idea.

-------

“Hyung?”

Jeonghan heard someone call him. He looks up from picking up the bar soap at the very bottom of the shelf and smiles realizing it was Jun. When he stood up, he recognizes Minghao from behind waving hands at him. They close the gap by giving him a hug and greeting him.

“How are you? You never update us about your new work.”
Minghao asked while his eyes sparkle looking at Jeonghan. He seemed really fond of the older one.

“Well, it was very much easier than I thought but still takes patience.”
He answered smiling.

Jun and Minghao are his co-workers from his previous job. The two were interns from China and they became Jeonghan’s trainees. The respect they have for the older male is high, Jeonghan helped them pretty well in their work and as well as their language.

The three end up hanging out at an outside BBQ Place where Jun offers to pay for everything as he’s happy to see his senior. Minghao made sure not to drink that much because he will be driving them back to their homes after.

Jeonghan thinks it was a great night. He took a picture of their setup and even had one of the staff take a picture of three of them, where Jun and Minghao sits beside him, and he had his arms spread on their shoulders while he laughs in the middle.

The alcohol was kicking in. It was nice to see them after many months of not seeing them in person. They even complain about how Jeonghan rarely opens his socials.

“Your hair is getting longer now Hyung, are you not planning on cutting them soon?”

Now that he noticed, he literally had to tuck his hair behind his ear so it wouldn’t get on his food as he eats.  When was the last time he had a haircut? He couldn’t remember. But Minghao waited for his answer, so Jeonghan munched on his food faster before he voices out a simple

“Not yet but should I?”

Jun shakes his head, and Minghao nodded. If Jeonghan is to trust anyone with fashion decisions, he’d kiss Jun on the forehead and take Minghao with him.

“You think It’s ugly?”

Jeonghan worries, it’s not like he cares but oh well, he does now.

“It’s not awful, just need a little trimming in the end, so they all grow prettier.”

Jeonghan nodded. He’ll get it trimmed soon.

---------

The phone rang and Mingyu was absolutely startled. It’s 2 am already for goodness’ sake, who even calls at this hour?

Jeonghan does.

His annoyance was replaced with worry when he saw Jeonghan’s face in the dialer.

“Hyung?”

“Mingoo-yah~”

Ah, Jeonghan is drunk. He waited for a few seconds to hear what words would come out next, but Jeonghan never said anything. Just called him by his given nickname.

“Mingoo~ my house is really dark I can’t see anything.”

“Hyung turn on the lights. It’s just beside your door.”

Mingyu smiles hearing a clicking noise from the background. He also heard Jeonghan’s steps echoing in his own house and how some incoherent blabbering was voiced out. He understands nothing. Jeonghan sounded like a kid. What Mingyu didn’t expect was Jeonghan turning the camera on.

There he is, looking half asleep as he sat down with his padded jacket on. Even the camera couldn’t hide his flushed flawless face.

“Yeah, you look too drunk. Who even are you hanging out with?”

Mingyu sat straight, a bit worried but relax at the same time. He wonders whom Jeonghan drank with, none of them from their circle sent a photo in their group chat nor posted pictures with Jeonghan.

“Minghao said I need a haircut. Do you think I need a haircut?”

Mingyu tried to recall the name. Ah, it was one of his former workmates. He remembered Jeonghan using them as his excuse so he can’t join them clubbing. “I need to look after my trainees.”

Before Mingyu could even answer, he saw Jeonghan reach out for something. He looks like he was standing in front of a mirror checking himself out. It was fine until Mingyu saw his other hand trying to level the scissor with his camera.

“I’ll cut my hair, they’re pretty long now.”

“Yah! What are you doing – hey stop it. Drop that. I’ll be there. Go back to your couch and wait for me. I’ll be there in 15.”

He screams profanity in his head. “Yoon Jeonghan! Don’t even touch your hair!”

Eyes shot up and open wide, Jeonghan looks around and stood up in a panic.
Where the fuck is his slippers?! Oh, there it is. He ran to his room bath and brush his teeth in panic. He washed his face and was about to go out when he noticed something weird.

“Oh, my fucking…”

His hair. Shorter but not too short, and it’s now blond. HOW THE FUCKING HELL IS IT BLOND??!
He tried to recall what happened last night and all he could remember was… Mingyu.

Oh shit, he has to call Mingyu.

He ran back to his bed and immediately called Mingyu. He waited as it rings but then he heard ringing outside his room. He rushed and went out of his door only to find Mingyu sleeping on his sofa. He also sees the calendar saying Sunday. What the hell was he in panic for?

He touched his hair and was surprised at how soft they are and even look at himself in the mirror slashing his phone screen.

“What the hell…”

Mingyu woke up with a cold tapping on his cheek. It continues and he opens his eyes to see Jeonghan waking him up.

“Sorry, your sister was calling earlier so I woke you up already. I also prepared lunch, so you get up now.”

Mingyu closed his eyes and opens them again. Right. He was at Jeonghan’s and by the looks of it, the latter already figured out what happened last night. He saw Jeonghan walking back to the kitchen, and he followed suit. Earning himself a chair to sit on, he flops down with a soft sigh. Jeonghan on the other hand prepared their meal.

“You should text your sister first, she called 3 times already.”

“Why didn’t you answer?”

“I texted her and told her you’re still sleeping.”

Mingyu suddenly was fully awake. He tried to search for something as he looks at Jeonghan but there was nothing. A silent relief wasn’t heard for obvious reasons.

Mingyu open his phone only to see multiple messages from his sister. He reads from the very first unread message and saw her asking why he wasn’t home and that she will be borrowing his car. But after some more messages, Mingyu figured it was after she received the message from Jeonghan.

Oh, my fucking Gawd, are you already making your move now?

Since when were you sleeping together?!

Why didn’t you tell me anything about this?!

I’ll tell noona about this!

Mingyu almost coughed out his coffee because of what he read from her messages. Surely she misunderstood. He then proceeds to reply with the longest message he’s ever sent her.
And worse, she was telling her noona about it. Noona, her best friend, Jeonghan’s sister.

Mingyu received an emoji rolling their eyes. Next was her frustration and visibly disappointing message.
Well, I wasn’t really expecting something from you.

“Aish. This kid.”

He blurts out forgetting that Jeonghan is also eating with him at the same table.

“What she borrows your car again?”

Mingyu looks at his phone and sighed. He locks it and continues eating.
They were quiet, not until Jeonghan groaned. Mingyu was surprised but looking at the older, he was problematic because of his now blond locks.

“Why? They look good on you. You should see yourself trying to cut your hair last night. Good thing I was able to arrive on time. Your door wasn’t even locked.”

Jeonghan gave him wide eyes.

“I was that drunk?!”

Mingyu nodded while his cheeks are puffy, munching on his food, which Jeonghan finds cute, but Mingyu doesn’t have to know.

“Yep, I was also startled to see you putting some stuff in your hair, turns out you have some bleach hidden under your bathroom closet. So, I cut the ends of your hair and properly bleached them instead.”

Ah, so that means, Mingyu stayed awake just to stand with his drunk ass.
Jeonghan felt embarrassed. He never lets himself get drunk too much and this is definitely one of the reasons why. Good thing Mingyu was there, if not, Jeonghan probably would have been bald now.

Jeonghan looks away in shame, he doesn’t really know what to say. Aside from that, he disturbed this poor soul in the middle of the night. He must at least make it up to him – The train of thoughts went to a full stop when Jeonghan heard a clicking sound followed by Mingyu’s profanity.

“You did not.”

“I just did.”

Mingyu smiled teasingly.

“Delete that. I look awful.”

“You look beautiful, what do you mean?”

“I look like shit Mingyu. Delete that.”

“You don’t and I won’t.”

Jeonghan glared at him, Mingyu was unfazed. Guess he has no choice, so he sighed and said it’s fine... He picks up his phone and opens his camera, he first looks at himself and Mingyu didn’t mind him more, thinking he’s just doing a random selfie instead of arguing with him more.

Mingyu watches as Jeonghan continues to scrutinize his hair in his camera. Mingyu thinks he likes it. He just keeps on brushing his hair through his locks, and that made him relieved.

He was staring. He is aware, Jeonghan can’t see it anyway. He’s busy checking himself out.

“What are you looking at?”

Mingyu looks away in an instant when Jeonghan looks at him, left hand halted in the air while he lines his brows with his finger.

“Nothing. Your hair looks nice on you. You should treat me for that.”

He stood up and took all the plates to the sink. Jeonghan continued what he was doing, he didn’t say anything. Just him giggling to himself while he continues filming Mingyu.

“What would Jeonghan Hyung do without Mingyu~”

He singsong and it made Mingyu’s ear flash so red the camera didn’t miss it.
Jeonghan laughs louder. He likes it, tormenting the younger with his embarrassing tease.

“So, when will you tell us what’s going on between you and Mingyu?”

Jeonghan coughed so hard his water went out of his nose. Vernon was quick to hand him the tissue while Hoshi scold Seungkwan. Jihoon helped by wiping the spilled water. Seokmin on the other hand had just arrived with Dino. The gang went out for a lunch date, and they fetch Jeonghan from his house not really minding that they didn’t inform the older beforehand. Meanwhile, they are still waiting for the others to arrive since they went out ahead of time.

Jeonghan glared at Seungkwan who was looking at him apologetically.

“Yah, what are you talking about?”

Jeonghan coughed to make sure his throat was clear. Poor Hannie, he was caught off guard.

“I was just asking; I don’t know why you’re acting like that. So, what’s going on between you two?”

Despite not looking around, Jeonghan was aware of how the atmosphere definitely shared their doubtful selves.

“You sure? I mean, Mingyu posts your pictures to his own Instagram story than his own face. Nothing, really?”

Seokmin followed. They all noticed. It has been weeks since Jeonghan had been missing in action and there comes Mingyu who updates them about Jeonghan more than Jeonghan himself. They seem to spend more time together than the whole gang. They also learned that Mingyu hangs out in Jeonghan’s house most of his free time. Well, it’s not like the latter does not invite them, he casually tells them in the group chat, but the others are quite getting busier with their lives, now that almost all of them got regular jobs already.

“Mingyu just loves to play around. He makes fun of me and my whole being, it just so happened that our day offs is in synch, we get to hang out together more than you guys. So yeah, nothing. Really.”

Distrustful, they all nodded in sarcasm. Jeonghan finds it ridiculous, but he loves them.

The next thing they see, Hoshi was fast to stand up and wave his hands in the air.

They all look at the entrance of the restaurant. Jeonghan saw Cheol and Jisoo waving at them, their eyes found Jeonghan, and they look happier. Jeonghan smiled flatly. He was the first to look down and was a bit awkward as he pretends to clean the space on his table.

It didn’t escape from Vernon’s eyes. Even Dino and Hoshi shared a look.

As he looks back though, he saw a taller figure coming behind the couple. Wonwoo and Mingyu arrive together. Ah, so Mingyu went to fetch Wonwoo. This time, Jeonghan looks back down again, but his hands became fidgety.

Jihoon who is situated beside him looks at Seungkwan. The latter gaze at Jeonghan and definitely has something in mind.

But for now, he’ll keep it to himself, the Gang is complete and that’s what they need to focus on.

Jeonghan makes sure he doesn’t drink despite his friends drowning with Soju and beer already. He keeps himself associated with cola and iced tea throughout the drinking session.

But it wasn’t unnoticed how Jeonghan is unusually quiet while they catch up with each other. His friends can be really loud and playful sometimes that Jeonghan can’t really keep up with their burst of energy but this time, even the youngest of them can tell that it was different.

“Ah, let’s talk about Jeonghan hyung this time. Aren’t Jisoo and Cheol Hyung planning on having you as their best man?”

They all look at him and they waited but even after a few seconds of silence, Jeonghan was still not answering. He was just looking at his plate. They all look at each other and waited until Seokmin went impatient.

“Jeonghan Hyung.”

Just then, Jeonghan looks at him with questioning eyes. He definitely wasn’t paying attention. He looks so baffled. Hoshi coughed and asked slower this time.

“Hyung, really, what’s going on? Are you okay? Are you even with us?”

Finally, the salty mood was poured into sentences. The younger had been keeping it inside since they started drinking. He was bothered and pissed at the same time. Is Jeonghan not happy with them?

The table went silent and Jeonghan noticed how they give him frowning looks. He tried to look for words, but the pressure was on, and his eyes met Jisoo, then landed at Seungcheol. A few blinked and he found Mingyu staring away and heaving a sigh.

He seemed to know it was coming. That it was going to happen. That Jeonghan will fuck up and that thought alone hurts Jeonghan, was Mingyu really thinking he would fuck up? Is that why he always makes sure he checks on Jeonghan, so he’d be there ahead of time?

Jeonghan know it doesn’t make sense, but he was butthurt, and his mind was clouded.

He sighed and tried his hardest to smile.

“Sorry, I was thinking of my deadlines, I’m a bit out of focus lately and I promised not to really think about it while I’m with you guys, I really don’t know what to say aside from apologizing. I ruin the mood.”

“It’s not that Jeonghan Hyung.”

They all batted an eye at Wonwoo who became conscious after they poured their attention on him.
He tried to brush it off by fixing his posture.

“I mean, we really are trying to reach out to you. We don’t know why you’re suddenly so distant. You can always tell us your reason, you know that, right?”

Jeonghan looks around and back to Wonwoo. He smiled.
“Of course. Hyung is sorry, I’m just a bit out lately. But I’ll make it up to you guys. I promise.”

He felt someone hug him from his side and smiled when he sees Dino clinging to him.

“For real though Hyung, we’ve been friends for a long time now, and we miss you too. You should really make it up to us.”

They nodded agreeing to the youngest and Jeonghan smiled. He puffed a light laugh before pouring himself a small amount of soju.

“In the name of this… whatever this is… Soju. Yes, Soju. I, Yoon Jeonghan, promised to not fuck up again.”

They all share their ridiculed laugh and cheer as Jeonghan raised his glass.
He drank his first shot but made sure there won’t be any second glass for the night. They all share their sentiments about Jeonghan’s absence and he on the other hand tries his hardest to laugh, catch up and cheer with them.

He is also very much aware that Mingyu is observing him. He’ll deal with that later on.

The night went deeper and finally, everyone decided to call the night over.
Goodbye hugs and laughter were all they share after they part ways. They also didn’t forget to make Jeonghan promise that he will constantly check their group chat and reply to their messages. Mingyu and Seungcheol make sure the young ones are situated properly in the car. Jihoon, who doesn’t drink, was the one to drive. But before that, they have to deal with Hoshi’s drunk sentiments first.

“I mean… guys, I really love you. My heart for you people is like a tiger. You see me like this and it’s hella fine…”

Jeonghan wanted to laugh at his dongsaeng. He’s terrible when he’s drunk. So do Dino and Seokmin. Mingyu and Seungcheol will definitely spend more time calming them down and have them enter the car already.

“Hannie.”

Jisoo called and Jeonghan almost immediately regret not going home first. He plastered a smile and turn around to see Jisoo looking at him.

“Hey…”

He answered. Jisoo looks behind him and sees that their friends are still not entering the car.

“Do you have a minute?”

Jisoo asked. Jeonghan nodded, of course. Of course, he’s got a minute. He may not want to spend another minute more in progressing a conversation with Jisoo, but he still has a minute to spare and yes, he doesn’t have a choice.

They went back inside the restaurant and sat down in the previous area they occupied.

Mingyu and Seungcheol sat down in stress. Hoshi is not easy to tame, he provokes Dino with a dance battle and if Jihoon didn’t threaten them both with leaving them behind, Hoshi wouldn’t have stopped and entered the car.

They look at each other and shakes their head. They love their friends, despite their stubborn asses sometimes. Mingyu got up first and he lend Seungcheol a hand in which the latter accepted with a gummy smile.

“How is he?”

The question popped out of nowhere. But Mingyu ain’t dumb, he knows Seungcheol is talking about none other than Jeonghan who’s now out of sight with Jisoo.

Mingyu was careful about what to say, Seungcheol finds it amusing. Mingyu is always clumsy. At one point, he remembers it’s Jeonghan they’re talking about.

“He’s fine. I always check on him but other than his lazier ass, he’s still Jeonghan. Just growing older and more beautiful.”

Mingyu was brave, Seungcheol thought. He really does wear his feelings on his sleeve but only shows them to selected people. He’s pretty much aware that the younger starting with their suspicion as well.

“You really like him, huh.”

“I do.”

Seungcheol was taken aback. He meant to tease but Mingyu took it like a bullet in his head. He was dead serious.

“Wow. You’ve gotten brave Mingyu.”

But the latter looked at him with serious eyes and intent gaze. Seungcheol felt the stares burning a pang of guilt in his chest.

“You’re like an older brother to me Hyung, and so does Jisoo Hyung. But I just want to let you know that I hated you for what you’ve done to him. I know you feel bad about what happened. Don’t worry, he’s not the type to hold grudges. In fact, he’s blaming himself for what happened. I’m not telling you this to make you feel guilty.”

Mingyu smiled and the gaze Cheol had, fell down to his feet and back to Mingyu.

“I just want to assure you not to worry. I got him. I’ll never hurt him the way you did.”

Seungcheol was speechless. He tried to open his mouth, but it became dry. Mingyu wasn’t mocking him, and he know that. Mingyu is just being Mingyu. Bold when certain. Brave when confident.

Something Seungcheol wasn’t able to do before.

He smiles. He looks up to Mingyu with a proud face and genuine amazement.

“I have always been envious of your courage. I’m rooting for you Mingyu. I know my apologies to him weren’t really enough. I always worry. But now, I know we shouldn’t anymore. I’m sorry Hyung was careless. I’m trying.”

Mingyu nodded. He smiled and breathed their silent pact.

Jeonghan was looking at himself in the mirror, hair still wet and Mingyu came with a dry towel in his hand. He looks at their reflection and was about to help the older one with his hair when he slurs his words away.

"Was I a bad friend Mingyu?”

Mingyu thought it was alcohol. Is Jeonghan this worse when drunk? To be fair, he never sees Jeonghan drunk like this before.

He looks at him and was startled to see tears falling from his eyes, he was taken aback. He covers the towel on Jeonghan’s newly bleached hair and turns him into facing Mingyu.

“Hey… What’s the matter?”

“I don’t know Mingyu. Am I a bad friend? Why can’t I be happy for them?”

Ah, Mingyu knew it. So, he has been hiding this pain all along? Poor angel. Mingyu felt his heart aches to look at the tears falling gracefully from his hazel orbs.

He envelopes the smaller ones to his arms and makes sure he is well placed into the curves of his neck down to his chest.

“No, you’re never a bad friend Jeonghan. Not to me, and I’m pretty certain not to anybody.”

Jeonghan cried harder. His arms encircled Mingyu’s body, and the latter rubbed circles on his back kissing his temple to shush him. It hurts to see the love of his life crying like this.

Yes, he liked Jeonghan even before they became friends. He knew there was something going on with Seungcheol and Jeonghan before Jisoo enters the circle. He lies low, trying to divert his attention to other people. He dated and looked for someone that could take the feelings away.

It was a shock to him when Seungcheol announces that Jisoo and he are finally in a relationship. The younger ones knew nothing about Jeonghan and Seungcheol thinking that their childhood friendship was platonic.

Jeonghan fell hard and was drowning. Seungcheol who was afraid didn’t jump to save him. Jeonghan learned to swim back to his shore and promised to never go near the water again.

Mingyu saw that, said nothing, and observes. He tried to run away from Jeonghan’s ocean, but it was vast, and it occupies his own shore. Mingyu then realizes that there was no running away from his feelings towards the angel.

Jeonghan waved a hand when Jisoo and Seungcheol finally drove away. For the first time in years, he felt lighter and happier, and somehow there was a big leap of acceptance he never thought would come to him in a very odd way.

Jisoo took his hands and whispers his apologies through tears. He had no idea and he only found out about it when Jihoon, who silently knew everything, revealed to him when he asks about why Jeonghan seemed very distant since he and his lover got together. Guilt stricken, he confronted Seungcheol about it but there was nothing they could do, it was all in the past. Seungcheol already apologize to Jeonghan but Jisoo who was bothered the most wanted to make sure he gets his best friend back and mend their wounds. He will not let this night pass without getting things out of his chest.

“I’m so sorry.”

Jeonghan looks at him and looks away, tears fell silently as he smiled. The sense of relief and acceptance was so strong. It was all that Jeonghan needed, for his pain to be acknowledged and to let forgiveness set the three of them free.

It was so silent. Mingyu knew there was something wrong, he tried to seize Jeonghan’s eyes, but they look anywhere but at him. So Mingyu stopped and so does Jeonghan, who looks at him in confusion. He looks away when he noticed that the taller is looking at him. Straight, down at him.

“What is it?”

He asks, Jeonghan didn’t speak though. He nips on his lips and stays silent. There was nothing wrong. He had a short reflection earlier. Being angry at Mingyu was so stupid of him. Mingyu is literally there trying to make sure he is present. He initiates small talks and makes sure the others include Jeonghan in their cents. He makes sure Jeonghan is comfortable and aware. But Jeonghan wasn’t. He fucked up and blame it on Mingyu.

“So, you’re not talking? All right. You go home alone then.”

His eyes widen when he realized that Mingyu walks ahead leaving him on his ground. Is he serious? He can’t be, right?

But then he sees Mingyu ride on his big bike and that’s when he started panicking.

“Yah Kim Mingyu! Are you really gonna leave me here?! Yah!”

He runs fast and sees Mingyu starts his engine. He stopped. He looks around and sees no more cabs passing, the street is really empty too. So even if he wants to keep his pride, there ain’t no way he is walking home alone.

Mingyu pulls the gas yet holds the clutch. Jeonghan ran faster and before Mingyu could even make any more moves, the long-haired already block his driveway.

Mingyu smiles looking at Jeonghan running closer, pretty confident in the armor of his helmet. He blocks the driveway by spreading his arms wide and looks back to see if there are other people around. There wasn’t.

“Yah! You can’t leave me here.”

“Why not?”

He asks, voices far from teasing but a smile reaching his eyes.
Jeonghan looks down and Mingyu can see him contemplating what to say. Until his arms fell down on his sides.

“I’m sorry.”

Mingyu was taken aback, Jeonghan is saying sorry for what? He’s pretty sure it’s not just because of not answering, he was just making fun of him.

Jeonghan felt his heart racing. He doesn’t know why he was nervous, but he brushes it away. If he wouldn’t be able to say it tonight, he can never. So, he bits his lips and stood properly. Hand back on his sides.

“You’re always a step ahead of me and I hated the thought that someone out there was thinking I’m incapable of handling things myself. When in fact, I needed help. I was insulted when you stepped in and had to take the action so I could keep on my track. I want to prove that I do not need anyone and that I am fine by myself. You deserve an apology so I’m sorry –

His sentence fades out when he realized that Mingyu is now standing in front of him, tall and confident. The latter looks at him intently and Jeonghan felt it again, his heart is racing like a fucking car.

“Well, just so you know Yoon Jeonghan…”

Jeonghan felt the hard-shell helmet cupped his head, Mingyu’s finger locking the lace on the side of his cheek. Mingyu smells good, alcohol cannot compete. When he’s done locking the helmet to Jeonghan, he taps it twice and smiled.

“…your apology is not accepted.”

His adoration popped like a bubble, and it disappeared, evaporated. He suddenly forgets that Mingyu smells nice, he just wants to kick him in his shin right now.

His attempt to give Mingyu a light punch failed. Mingyu catches his wrist on time and when he takes it back, the younger wouldn’t let him.

It was firm at first until he takes it down and starts walking back to his motorbike pulling Jeonghan with him and making sure he gets on it safely. He even makes sure that the helmet is well-suited.

“Be good Hyung. Hold on to me so you won’t hurt yourself.”

“Oh, come on! You can’t possibly not like Mingyu, Hyung.”

Seokmin was pushing the idea. They all are. Even Hoshi who sits comfortably in his bed nodding his head with Seokmin’s sentiments agrees.

“I just don’t, okay? He’s… he’s just too much for me. Mingyu is an amazing guy. But he’s not for me. He deserves someone who’s at his level. Like, a model or something.”

“You do know you sound so ridiculous right now, right?”

Jeonghan glared at Seokmin. The two visited his house only to pester him about Mingyu. Jeonghan sighed. He looks at his friends and sat back down in his bed.

“I know you guys think I need someone who can handle me being me. I know you worry and I’m thankful. But… Mingyu is just, he’s just like… a brother. I see him the way I see you guys.”

Jeonghan looks stressed out and wants to finally have them stop daydreaming about Mingyu and him together. Seokmin and Hoshi look at each other and the latter asked.

“Seriously hyung, you don’t really like Mingyu?”

It was sincere, confirming.

Jeonghan looks at him straight in the eyes and sighed.

“I like his personality, he’s caring, neat, inspiring, and almost perfect. He tolerates my character, and he likes me as a person. As a human being. I would want someone like Mingyu. Just not Mingyu himself.”

A confused painful expression was all he got from his friends.

“Poor Mingyu.”

Jeonghan’s ears perked up. He looks straight at Hoshi and asked.

“Why? Did I say something wrong?”

Hoshi panics, he waves his hands to dismiss the thoughts Jeonghan has.

“No Hyung, you didn’t. Uhm… How often does Mingyu ask you to hang out?”

Hoshi changed the subject right away. They knew, they can tell. They may be rooting for them but they’re not in the place to move ahead of things.

Jeonghan finds the transition weird, but he answers, nevertheless.

“Usually my day offs, he said he can’t seem to get a hold of you people and I look pathetic alone, so he always bothers me to hang out with him.”

Jeonghan still hates Mingyu about it. Not really, he’s just finding some reasons to hate on him.
The younger would call him early in the morning to make sure he woke up on time, invites him to watch movies saying he can’t afford to go alone and Jeonghan seemed a perfect person to hang out with since he will do nothing on weekends anyway. Mingyu will bring him fresh flowers every after day, using either his mother or sister as an excuse. But he will end up hanging around Jeonghan’s house while the latter does his job. Mingyu ends up cleaning and cooking for him and making sure he is settled before leaving the house. Mingyu is domestic, loyal like a puppy, and playful like a pet. Jeonghan sure is fond of him, he is such a great friend.

Other than that, Jeonghan never digs deeper for whatever reasons he has. He lets it flow like a river and gives himself shallow reasonings. Mingyu is just like that, always been. Mingyu is kind. The latter can be like this to anyone. So, he doesn’t really overthink it.

Jeonghan leans back down in his bed and plans to have a nap. Hoshi and Seokmin were left to play with his phone. When the two left the room and went to his Sala, they exchanged lines.

“He said he wants someone like Mingyu, just not Mingyu himself.”
“Damn.”

It was all back to normal until the first time in months, Mingyu stopped calling him. Hears less of Mingyu and more of Wonwoo instead. The two seemed to be getting close the past few days. It started when Jihoon asked the two of them to help him with his Music Video project for his upcoming song release. Jihoon and Vernon work for a company and also make their own music on a listening platform.
There was a drastic change in routine. No more flowers and Mingyu almost stopped coming over. But Mingyu never fails to send pictures to their group chat. Most of the time, Wonwoo is in it.

Jeonghan thinks he won. He is right all along. So, he pushes the thought away and kept his disappointment in the back of his mind.

Seungkwan’s voice was blasting through the walls. They are now hanging out in Vernon and Jihoon’s studio and thank goodness the walls room is soundproof or else, they’d be kicked out of the villa with the trio singing. Seokmin is the one looking for a great song and Hoshi starts to blend and comes Seungkwan for the belting. Dino, he’s there to lip-sync his hyungs and dance to every note. 

If this was the other day, Jeonghan would’ve joined them and laughed at how worst he thinks he sounds. Today, he seemed gloomy, and Vernon who sits next to him had a glance at him checking his Instagram messages.

There was a chat box his eyes caught. It was Mingyu’s. Vernon isn’t the type to be nosy. He’s just checking, yes, checking.

And from what he checked; the last messages were from Mingyu. He leans back with an unreadable expression on his face.

He thinks Jeonghan is stressed out. His constant biting of lips is a habit Vernon picked up and recognize.
He saw Jeonghan is typing and erased it. He did it again with a much shorter line and ends up erasing it and locking the phone.

Just then, they heard a video call ringing from Vernon’s phone.

“Oh, Mingyu’s calling.”

He met Jeonghan’s eyes and Vernon almost wants to laugh at his own Hyung. Jeonghan catches himself almost excited and loosens up before looking away, coughing as an escape.

Vernon answers the video call and saw Seung Cheol’s face on the screen. The others who were singing earlier stopped and compressed Vernon and Jihoon into their space. Jeonghan was left on the right side of the sofa, checking something on his phone.

“Hansol-ah, look at this.”

They all heard the oldest say through the screen. He then flips the camera and there was Jisoo, Mingyu, and Wonwoo, walking toward Cheol.

“What happened Hyung?”

Dino asked cutely. They saw Mingyu with mud on his shirt all over his body as well as Wonwoo.
“Wonwoo fell in the water, Mingyu jumped cos he thought it was deep, turns out it was all mud.”

It was Jisoo who explains this time. They all laughed and Seungcheol even zoom in on Mingyu’s face.

“Yah! Why make fun of me only? Wonwoo is covered in mud too!”

They all laughed at how Mingyu whines like a child.

“We didn’t get any fish though. They got scared of Mingyu.”

Wonwoo’s laugh was heard and at last, Mingyu checks them.

“Hey, where’s Jeonghan Hyung?”

When they were about to show Jeonghan in his previous spot, suddenly he was gone.

Jihoon left the circle and went to his own work desk where he found Jeonghan lingering through his computers. The latter was a bit startled when he knocks and immediately make space for Jihoon. Jeonghan has always been cautious, but he is most cautious with Jihoon’s space which the latter appreciates more than anything.

“Wanna hear what I’m working on?”

Jeonghan blinked and nodded. “Sure. But is it okay with you?”

“I wouldn’t offer.”

Jeonghan gave a flatline. Jihoon laughs a little. He pulled out a sheet of paper and gave it to Jeonghan before playing an instrumental from the computer.

Jeonghan was checking the lyrics when his eyes caught a line.

You are not mine to even start with, so why feel this envy?
Can’t even reach out to touch you but need you to hold me
Maybe if I was a little bit braver, we could’ve been.

We could’ve been…

Jihoon sings the part and Jeonghan bit his lips. The music went on and Jihoon smiled at him, looking satisfied with his amazing reaction.

"You like it?”

Jeonghan nodded and gave his mini clap.
“You’re so genius Jihoonie… I’m happy for you and Vernon.
 You guys deserve all of this for working really hard.”

Jihoon smiled and so does he. The smaller one shakes his head and lets Jeonghan listen to more of his written song.

---------

They all cheer when they saw who entered the Studio. It was Seungcheol and Jisoo. They saw the box of fried chicken and the young ones, including Vernon, cheered seeing the food.

The moment Mingyu and Wonwoo entered the room, it was the exact moment Jeonghan walked in laughing with Jihoon.

“Yow Hannie! I brought your favorite. Jisoo made sure to get it for you.”

But Jeonghan’s eye was on Mingyu who was currently helping Wonwoo in taking his coat off. He smiled and accepted the strawberry milkshake and smiled at Jisoo saying his thanks. When Mingyu finally looks at him, a wide smile was already poking but Jeonghan was fast to divert his eyes to the chicken as if he sees them for the first time.

“Wow, Seungcheol and Jisoo are bribing us with chicken. Don’t worry you two, we’ll be at the wedding!”
They all laugh at Jeonghan as he took the first bite, but someone wasn’t laughing.

Mingyu tried to make his way to talk to Jeonghan but it’s quite hard when you have possessive friends. If they could slice Jeonghan in equal portions, they would. Specially Hoshi and Dino. Seungkwan will fight for his position in Jeonghan’s life.

When he finally saw him sitting alone on the balcony while the others jam inside the studio, Mingyu was fast to take the opportunity.

But before he could even close the bridge and step on every gap, Jeonghan’s phone rang.

“Hello?”

Mingyu sighed. He walks back to his friends and waited for a moment.

Mingyu pinched the bridge of his nose checking on his messages, Jeonghan never once message him. His pride never dies down, really. It was not his idea to ignore Jeonghan for a few days. Besides, Mingyu was really busy. It was Jeonghan’s sister.

“He’s stubborn and never really listens but he’s weak in emotion. Don’t feed yourself too much on him.”
“Isn’t that too hard? That’s borderline manipulative.”
“Well, Mingyu-Oppa, Jeonghan-Oppa is hardheaded, call it whatever you want, but if that’s the only thing you could do to see if he likes you, maybe you can try it once.”
His sister and Jeonghan’s even shared a hand clasp cheering for him.
What can Mingyu say, they really are Yoon siblings.

While the others sing their lungs out and enjoy the new song Jihoon is introducing to them, one of their friends made his way looking at his slumped shoulder.
Wonwoo sat beside him and asked.

“He’s avoiding you.”

“I figured. Thanks.”

Wonwoo smiled mocking his friend but still feels bad. Mingyu is stressing his admiration for Jeonghan. The older one just won’t accept the idea of Mingyu liking him.

Wonwoo wants to comfort the younger and so he gave him a pat on his back. Just then, Jeonghan appeared and look at them.

“Jeonghan Hyung. You going home already?”

Wonwoo asked and that’s when Mingyu look up to see Jeonghan with his coat slinging on his right hand, he also has his hair fixed.

“No Wonungie… I suddenly need to accompany a friend. Can you guys tell them I’d go first?”

Wonwoo nodded mouthing sure. Mingyu stood up and offered to drive for Jeonghan, but the latter gently rejects.

“No, it’s okay. Minghao offered to fetch me outside. You guys enjoy here.”

Wonwoo nodded and waved goodbye but he saw Mingyu following Jeonghan despite rejecting him.

“Those two, really.”

Wonwoo sat comfortably and watches his friends sing and jump, having a great time. But his eyes go straight to the one who loses his eyes while he laughs.

Watching him this happy is happiness itself. Wonwoo sat back and continued watching. He smiled to himself and closed his eyes.

“Love, love, love.”

Mingyu almost runs trying to keep up with Jeonghan who obviously is walking faster on purpose.

“Jeonghan!”

He still continues walking. Desperate to walk faster but too afraid to run. Mingyu’s legs are longer, he walks faster, and he surely gets the right pace to stop the latter from going way farther.

“Yah Yoon Jeonghan – why are you, are you crying? Yah! Are you okay? Is something wrong? Why the hell are you crying?!”

Mingyu’s face morphed from pissed to worry. Jeonghan looks anywhere but him and this time he cups his face and seize looking at his eyes. Rapid breathing, stiff body, dilated eyes.

“Hey, calm down… What’s wrong?”

Just like the many times, he sees the shorter in pain, Mingyu could feel nothing but worry and this time, he worries more.

“What’s wrong, tell me Hyung. Do you need anything? Are you in pain?”

Frustrated noises grumbled from Jeonghan’s mouth.

“Why are you like this?! You… you’re so fucking complicated!”

Mingyu was taken aback. There wasn’t anyone around and Jeonghan’s voice echoes through the parking lot. A few blinks and Mingyu seemed to grasp his situation. Jeonghan is mad and frustrated, and he could tell. But why? He has no fucking idea.

“Since when was I complicated?”

“I don’t fucking know! Since when you stopped caring?”

“Stop caring? What – oh come on Yoon Jeonghan, are you freaking serious?”

Mingyu laughs finding this amusing. He wants to feel fluttery, but Jeonghan’s outburst is just funny. He knows it will definitely annoy, piss, or even anger Jeonghan that he finds this funny, but it is.

“Is that why you have been avoiding me? Because of Wonwoo Hyung? Really?”

Jeonghan look away and sobbed in embarrassment. He felt humiliated. Mingyu thinks his hurting, is funny. And he’s more frustrated with himself. He is a weak shit when it comes to emotion. Mingyu laughs as he brings Jeonghan closer to him. The struggle to fight Mingyu’s force is useless.

“What happened to ‘someone like Mingyu but not Mingyu himself’ Hyung?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Sshh… it’s okay, Hoshi told me, and I didn’t tell anyone about it. Look at you getting jealous over Hoshi’s boyfriend. You’re the cutest little thing, don’t you think?”

Jeonghan has a question. A little concerning question.

“HOSHI’S WHAT?!”

Or maybe not a little.

“Yep. Wonwoo told me, he and Hoshi are just finding the right timing to tell the others since their family is still adjusting to their relationship.”

“Oh…”

“Yep, oh indeed,”

Mingyu tried teasing. But all he got from Jeonghan was a pinch on his arm. He laughed it off and embraced him tighter despite Jeonghan struggling to escape.

“Yoon Jeonghan… there’s nothing for you to worry about. I only have my eyes set on you and you only. If you want to make sure, you can take my eye out and blind me. But when I say I only see you, I fucking mean it.”

Mingyu says. He felt Jeonghan soften in his embrace, placed perfectly on his chest. Face buried in his arms.

“I know you’re scared, don’t be. It’s me. Remember what I always tell you? Just hold me so you won’t get yourself hurt; I meant it too. Every fucking word. I just need you to put your trust in me.”

Jeonghan was silent. Mingyu may sound like heaven in his ears, but Jeonghan will always have his reservation hidden under his skin. Hesitation crawling under his palm, he pushes Mingyu away but to no avail as he is prisoned.

He felt the hug tighter and tighter, he also felt hot breath on his temple. The sudden hush of wind was nothing as the warmth enveloped him until there was nothing to feel but the loud beating of his heart, uneven with Mingyu’s yet as loud and as clear.
He tried to remember when the first time he felt like this. He never felt like this with Seungcheol.

Now that he’s here, all he can say was that he liked Seungcheol more than he liked anybody else.
But looking back at it right now, it was never the romantic type. Maybe it was his jealousy over someone who took his person away. Seungcheol was his favorite person, a soulmate he never wants to let go of, and a person whom he thought was all he needed to keep himself happy. But then he has come to realize that yes, Seungcheol might be an ideal man, but he was never an ideal someone Jeonghan sees himself loving and committing himself to.

Mingyu on the other hand is a very, very different case. He always stands out and yet Jeonghan is very much blind to see. His idea of love comes with Mingyu on it. To have someone to look for and have someone who’d look back at him. To have someone who’d take his breath away yet someone he could breathe in wholeheartedly. And love that comes with the idea of having someone who might bring you pain yet you can't live without. He brings this balance to keep Jeonghan steady. Mingyu was never bold, to begin with. He was just around, lingering, observing, and patiently waiting for the right time.

But the question is, is this really the right time?

If Mingyu is the right person, was he the right one for Mingyu?

“Congratulations!”

They all cheered up. Champaigns in the air and cheering really happy.
Jeonghan looks around him and smiled widely seeing the people who make him happy. He also makes sure to invite Minghao and Jun to Jisoo and Seung Cheol’s wedding party as he wants them to meet his friends. The reception was done in a very nice hotel and all they feel is happiness.

Jeonghan also shakes his head looking at his and Mingyu’s sister taking selfies together. They’re very much closer now more than ever, despite his sister 2 years older than the other.

“They’re cute aren’t they?”

Jeonghan nodded feeling a warm hand holding his own cold one.

“Wanna go out for fresh air?”
“Is that your own way of kidnapping me? Sure.”

Canine poking, the taller smiled and held him outside of the place. There was this lit-up sky garden at the rooftop of the hotel venue and Mingyu definitely checked this before bringing Jeonghan with him.

“Wow, this is beautiful.”

“It is.”

He looks to his side and sees Mingyu looking at the city below them. Filled with streetlights and people passing by trees were decorated with lighting and so does the lamps in the dark areas.

The silence was comfortable, it was fine and healing. Having Mingyu with him in this place is the biggest bonus. He laughed to himself.

“What is it?”

Mingyu questions, slipping his arms around Jeonghan’s torso.

“Nothing. I’m just happy.”
“You are?”

Jeonghan nodded and hummed.

“I am Mingyu. I really am.”

Mingyu nodded and placed his chin beside Jeonghan’s temple. There were moments of them swaying side to side smoothly and laughing as the smaller one tried to contradict the flow by going in the other direction. But then lets his head falls unto Mingyu’s chest in which the latter would place both arms wounded around Jeonghan.

“Do you think we should move in together already?”
“Mmm?”

Mingyu can feel his own getting nervous. He knows it wasn’t long since Jeonghan and he got together. But he just can’t wait to wake up beside him, and cook for him, yeah he’s been doing that already but still. Can’t wait to kiss him whenever he wants, makes fun of him before sleeping, dries his hair after taking a bath, or even helps him arrange his room.

All of this might sound nonsense, but he just wants to get past other processes and place himself in his chapter of life with Jeonghan in it.

He remembers Jeonghan and him officially got together. Mingyu’s Mother plays a big role.

They were all having fun when Mingyu slips and accidentally hit his head hard on a metal railing knocking him out in an instant. When they saw blood gushing out from the earned head wound, Jeonghan stiffens.

After a day in the hospital, Mingyu woke up with Jeonghan clinging onto his other hand, sleeping beside him while sitting on a chair. Mingyu saw his mother on the other side. He found out that Jeonghan stayed beside him since he was rushed and did not leave his side even though the Doctor reminds them that no visitors are allowed to stay the night. His mother also told him that Jeonghan even fights with the Doctor who turned out to be Wonwoo’s uncle. They end up letting Jeonghan stay for a night after giving him assurance that Mingyu will most likely wake up after a day. Jeonghan woke up and was surprised to see Mingyu awake and listening to something his mother was telling him.

“Hannie, Mingyu woke up already. Do you want to eat first?”

Jeonghan was silent. He scrutinizes Mingyu’s face, and he seemed all right. But before he could even say a word, Mingyu asked a question.

“My mother told me your name is Jeonghan. Thank you for staying the night. But do I know you?”

Even Mingyu’s mother was surprised, and she even panic when Jeonghan shed a tear right away.

“Son, don’t you remember him? He’s Jeonghan.”

Mingyu looks at his mother looking blankly and clueless.

“Yah, don’t joke around like that. Don’t you really remember me?”

Jeonghan looked so hurt and worried, it was like his world crumbled just below his feet.

“I only remember one Jeonghan though. He’s my boyfriend. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

Mingyu’s mother had her eyes widen while he looks at her own son who is currently looking at Jeonghan with a very serious face. When he looks at Jeonghan, the latter has his gaze down and away.

Mingyu turned to her and winked. She almost gives him a playful slap, but Jeonghan speaks.

“Stop playing around like that, you scared the hell out of me. You better start forgetting about that Jeonghan of yours who d-don’t know he’s your boyfriend. I’m literally here holding your hand you big dumbass.”

Mingyu looks at his mother whose face is so surprised. She even had a hand covering his mouth.

“You are so dead Kim Mingyu.”

Jeonghan said before standing and bowing 90 degrees to show his respect to his now boyfriend’s mother.

Mingyu smiled crazily remembering how flustered Jeonghan was when his mother starts teasing him and cheered for them as she was rooting for a son like Jeonghan too. But he also remembers Jeonghan’s deadly stares that send him gulping in fear too.

“You sure about moving in?”

He suddenly was back to his present mind when he heard Jeonghan ask. The latter looks up at him and he looks down meeting his lover’s eyes.

“Did I stutter?”

“No.”

“No? Really?”

“No. Really.”

“I didn’t.”

“Yep. You didn’t.”

Mingyu leans down closer as they continue their sweet nothings. And when he finally closed the gap, he was met with an angel’s kiss, soft and perfectly attached to him. When they parted, Jeonghan looks at him with full adoration, eyes sparkling in reflected night light. He was careful to turn around not letting Mingyu’s arms let him go as he fully face his taller lover.

Words were impatient to come out as Jeonghan kept his mouth closed so they escaped through his eyes and Mingyu was fast to accept them with his own.

The magic words flew in the air, resides in the clouds, and witness how Mingyu and Jeonghan talk in warm embraces and sealed their promises with kisses.

THE END