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Jisung had been the first one to ask, on an especially cold December evening, if he could stay the night. Under the excuse of returning Hyunjin’s charger he had lingered by the bedroom door, shyly extending his visit with ‘thank you’s and ‘good night’s while the other got ready for bed. And despite having shared a bed countless times before, he stuttered when asking for permission to stay, perhaps it was their new individual rooms, or perhaps it was the fear of being misunderstood. Either way, Hyunjin said ‘of course’ with a laugh and a hand covering his mouth and his crescent moon eyes.
The second time, it was Hyunjin who had asked. “Are you staying tonight?” Jisung’s reply was a grin. He could never refuse.
As time passed, it was none of them that asked. It slowly became a habit, to wait for each other to finish whatever it was that they were doing, Jisung sitting by Hyunjin while he painted by the stars in the balcony, filling his lungs with the smell of acrylics or watercolours once a day and occasionally getting stained in blue or red; or it was Hyunjin that sat crossed-legged on Jisung’s bedroom floor across from him, in silence as he wrote lyrics on his notes app.
At first, each one had his side of the bed, enjoying the warmth of simply being close and under the same covers, sharing, maybe, the touch of a stray leg or a sleepy hand. But they soon moved closer and closer together, and in no time they were cuddling and hugging and sleeping on each other, no distance between them, the beating of two quiet hearts in sync. In the mornings, whoever came to wake them up couldn’t tell if they were only one person.
Sometimes, most times, their voices would fill the darkness of the room as they chatted animatedly, their laughter would echo in every corner of their dorm. Conversation topics never seemed to run out for them, and they had a few nights of endless talking, until sunrise, or even later. But sometimes, after particularly busy days or long schedules, they would fall asleep immediately, with just enough time to exchange ‘good night’s.
This was one of those nights. They had been up since very early in the morning, but Hyunjin had insisted on touching up a piece he had been creating for some days, a vase of daisies and orchids, so Jisung waited on his bed with his back to the wall and on his phone. As soon as Hyunjin was done, they fumbled to get under the sheets and quickly wrapped their arms around each other. But even after wishing they slept well, Hyunjin couldn't sleep. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling and his mind on an idea.
He finally broke the silence with a faint whisper. “Jisung? Are you awake?”
The body next to him moved. “Mhm,” came muffled from a mouth pressed against a pillow.
“Can I ask you something?”
Jisung moved again. This time, very clearly, he said, “sure.”
“Do you believe soulmates exist?”
“I… I actually have thought about it before. I do think they exist, but not in a red-string-of-fate kind of way. More, like, in a coincidence kind of way, you know? As in, you will inevitably match with someone in your life, who you may call your soulmate. There has to be someone on this Earth that you click perfectly well with, right? But I don’t think that two people are made for each other, they just meet and create their own fate. And following that, you might have more than one soulmate. Maybe there are two or three or ten people you will find perfect for you, who knows?”
Hyunjin nodded softly, enough for Jisung to feel it and go on. “I just think a soulmate is someone you choose to be with, not someone who is assigned to you. The whole deal of loving on purpose, you know?”
“Yeah.”
Silence fell in the room. Hyunjin’s eyes had gotten used to the darkness, and the ceiling was a lighter shade of grey. He could feel Jisung’s agitated heart from all the talking on his shoulder.
“You?” Jisung said suddenly.
“What?”
Jisung lifted a little from his position. His face appeared in Hyunjin’s sight, half illuminated by the soft white light coming from the balcony. His eyes shone like stars as they looked down at Hyunjin. “Do you believe soulmates exist?”
“Oh, I know soulmates exist.”
Jisung scoffed and giggled, making Hyunjin do the same. “How can you be so sure?”
Hyunjin looked straight into those eyes, his own face illuminated by the pale light, soaking into the vulnerability of the night.
“Because I know you are mine.”