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Sasuke leaves.
It shouldn’t be a surprise, not anymore. They all know Sasuke, they know what he’s capable of and of all the ways he can break their hearts, but they let him do it all over again. They’re masochists, the lot of them.
He shouldn’t even be allowed, Sakura thought the night before he was set to leave, sitting up in bed with her arms wrapped tight around her shins. Ino snored softly on the bed beside her, finally fallen asleep after a night of talking and crying.
Sakura had argued that Sasuke be kept in the village, bound by seals or something. It only seemed right--he threatened Konoha before, had threatened everything before, and just because he helped undo the Infinite Tsukuyomi didn’t mean he should be deemed trustworthy. It might be difficult to keep him there, what with the Rinnegan and Sharingan, but they could manage. They always manage.
She had been outvoted by several people, including Kakashi and Naruto. It stung, but she wasn’t all that surprised. They believed in him far too much, she thinks. She used to believe in him, wonders if she stopped when he tried to kill her, or some time after that. She tried to ignore the anger she felt at Naruto, because wasn’t this his goal, his promise to her? To bring Sasuke back? Things were different now, her feelings were different and all mixed up and sometimes she dreamt about blonde hair and blue eyes instead of dark hair and even darker eyes, but. But wasn’t Naruto’s ninja way to never go back on his word?
Maybe he didn’t realize. Or maybe he didn’t think he was.
Either way, Sasuke was going to leave on some sort of journey that would...bring him peace, or some bullshit. Naruto seemed unsure when she asked. It didn’t matter, Sakura figured. He was leaving, regardless.
When Sasuke taps her forehead, gently, carefully, right over her yin seal, Sakura blinks back tears burning in her eyes. When he thanks her, Sakura has to bite her tongue. She believes the softness in his face, the friendliness in his eyes.
She wonders if that show was real. She wonders if he will really come back, or stay out in the world and forget about Konoha, and her, and Naruto. Sakura wonders, belatedly, why she cares.
And then she decides she doesn’t.
Sakura plunges herself into work. It isn’t a distraction, like Kakashi and Ino think, but more like therapy. She likes working at the hospital. It’s one of the main reasons she became a ninja in the first place; she loves helping people and doing good. And even though missions are low right now--or at least missions that send people home with injuries--there are plenty of minor things to deal with, thanks to the village being rebuilt.
She is at home at the hospital, surrounded by Tsunade-shishou and Shizune and Ino. She doesn’t like the paper work, but it takes her mind off the fact that Naruto is busy and Ino and Shikamaru are wrapped up in their own shit. Mostly it takes her mind off how lonely she is.
“How are you?”
“Good,” Sakura replies quickly, snapping her eyes back to Sasuke’s arm--or lack thereof--and then corrects herself, “I mean, well. I’m well. How are you, Sasuke?”
He always does this. Asks how she is. Like that will make her feel better about him leaving, about him always leaving. Sakura doesn’t hate him--doesn’t think she’ll ever hate him, because she loves him still, a distant, buried part of her--and she doesn’t have the energy to be angry with him, but he isn’t the boy she was in love with anymore.
She doesn’t meet his eyes, doesn’t look across the room at Naruto sitting and laughing with Hinata as Ino tends to his arm. She swallows and shifts her head, trying to dislodge the piece of bang tickling her eyebrow. At least Sasuke’s arm is looking better. If she weren’t so annoyed with the two idiots for losing their arms, Sakura would be impressed with the awesome job she did healing them.
Sasuke’s good arm rises and Sakura jumps--involuntarily--watching warily as his fingers brush away her irritating bang, skin barely touching hers. When her eyes lift to see his face, he’s looking over her head and there is maybe some pink in his cheeks. She isn’t sure.
“I’m well,” he finally replies, hand resting lightly at his side. Sakura feels dizzy, feels too hot. Sakura wishes he would just leave again. Sakura wishes for a lot of things, really.
“Good,” Sakura clears her throat, finishing her work on his arm. “That’s good.”
Ino spends a lot of time at Sakura’s new place.
She had gotten it during the rebuilding of the city--her parents seemed alright with it, proud even that she was mature enough to live on her own, even though she still brings her laundry over to their house. It’s small and mostly neat, but when Ino is around it turns into a pigsty.
Sakura doesn’t mind much. Ino’s mother is having a difficult time with Inoichi gone, and Ino can only spend so much time at Shikamaru’s before their combined grief swallows them whole. She doesn’t mind Ino leaving her clothes all over, or eating all the food in the fridge. She doesn’t mind being woken up in the middle of the night when Ino stumbles in, angry and sad. Sakura simply helps whatever way she can, accepting the barbed compliments and throwing them back, not treating her any different because Ino would hate to be coddled.
Eventually, Ino begins to heal. Starts talking to Sai every time he comes by Sakura’s to annoy her. Sakura had always imagined Ino and Shika, but with Temari in the picture, it’s clear that Ino’s lost her chance, if she ever wanted it. Even Choji had seemed like a logical answer for Ino, but the man had started to take trips to Cloud more and more frequently, an ambassador of sorts.
So, Sai.
When Sakura tells Naruto--Naruto who she hasn’t seen often enough, Naruto who made it seem that after the war everything would be better, they would be better--he laughs.
“Sai and--and Ino? Oh gods, Sakura, are you sure? Can you even imagine that?”
Sakura shrugs, twisting more noodles around her chopsticks. She wants to snap that not everyone had everything waiting for them when they returned from the war. She wants to tell him that most people lost everything and he only lost bits and pieces. More than anything, Sakura wants to ask why they aren’t friends anymore, needs to know why he avoids her and why she allows it.
His new arm is a different colour than the rest of him. Not by much, maybe a few shades, but it’s clearly different. It looks strange on him. Naruto who couldn’t die, no matter what the world threw at him. Naruto who couldn’t lose, until he could. Did.
What Sakura really wants? To stop playing my grief is more than yours with someone who never had anything to lose in the first place.
Sakura is sitting with Ino when she realizes that Hinata is like, in love with Naruto, not just infatuated, or whatever. It’s like, the real deal, and it makes her sick. Ino is talking about how Hinata had barely stuttered the last time she saw her and Naruto together. Ino is talking about how she thinks they might play out, if either of them ever got the balls to ask each other on a date. Ino is side-eyeing the hell out of Sakura.
“Have you spoken to Sasuke lately?” Ino asks instead, waving at Tenten as the girl joins them, sliding into the booth beside Sakura.
“Ew,” Tenten says flippantly, “I hope not.”
“Well there’s no accounting for taste,” Ino agrees, nodding sagely. Sakura barely bites back says the girl who was desperately in love with him, too because she has spoken to Sasuke recently, at least through a letter, and Tenten is kind of right.
Pushing her straw around her drink, Sakura sighs. “He’s in Wave Country, helping rebuild, or something. I don’t know. He’s very vague and mostly asks questions about medical ninjutsu or Naruto.”
Tenten raises an eyebrow, lips pursed. “Are you serious?”
Sakura nods, taking a long pull from her drink so she doesn’t have to reply. She knows how lame it sounds, believe it or not.
Hinata arrives then, out of breath, a vein throbbing in her forehead. “Hanabi stabbed herself in the thigh,” she says, ever the long suffering sister. “I think she did it on purpose. Father wanted her to go to a meeting with him.”
Ino starts laughing and Tenten starts asking questions, and Sakura breathes a sigh of relief as the attention is taken off of her. When she looks at Hinata, the girl smiles.
Eventually her time at the hospital slows down. There just isn’t enough for her to do, so she takes on another side job. Being Kakashi’s assistant was never really on her to-do list, but she doesn’t mind being around her former teammate and sensei. In fact, it’s kind of comforting.
They’re sitting in his office one night, the moon high and fat in the sky. There is so much paperwork to be done, so many peace treaties to sign and ambassadors to assign. Shikamaru to Sand, Choji to Cloud. Naruto had begged to be sent somewhere, getting stir-crazy after being cooped up in the village for so long, but Kakashi had been against it. There was a lot of inter-clan relations he had to work on, let alone learning how to be Hokage. Sakura tries to pretend like his absence in her life doesn’t hurt, but it does. Maybe it’s why she stays with Kakashi, why she puts up with Sai and Ino.
Sakura wiggles her toes, biting back a yawn as she reads over another peace treaty. She’s got her feet up and crossed on Kakashi’s desk, and every once in a while he’ll glare at them, like she’s being offensive. Or like her feet stink and she knows they don’t.
“Something wrong, Hokage-sama?” Sakura murmurs, flipping a page. She cuts her gaze to the older man, narrowing her eyes when she sees that stupid smile lifting his brows. “What?”
“Did you know that I’ve gotten several reports of a young man helping out along the borders of Fire Country? He’s been helping rebuild, keeping rogue ninja from bothering little villages. A tall, dark man with mismatched eyes.”
Sakura’s heart speeds up a bit, but she takes a deep breath to calm herself.
“They’re all villages that took on damage because of war, too.” Kakashi hums, tapping his finger against the desk. Sakura crosses and recrosses her ankles.
“Maybe he should have started on this village,” she says coolly.
Kakashi is watching her, she can tell. When she doesn’t look at him, he sighs. “Maybe, Sakura. Maybe.”
At some point, Ino stops spending every night at Sakura’s. It starts slow--just a few days each week, and then one, and then none at all--and Sakura finds out later that Ino has moved into a small apartment near the flower shop. It’s bright and airy, and both Sai and Sakura get keys.
Sakura is proud when she sees Ino’s father’s favorite flower--daffodils--planted in the box outside Ino’s bedroom.
“How have you been?” Sasuke asks when Sakura finds him against her apartment door, bleeding and groggy.
Sakura pushes down the urge to be irritated--first, because his last letter said he was still busy in Tea Country and two because he’s bleeding on her new welcome mat--and instead pulls him to his feet.
“Oh my gods,” Sakura says tersely, frowning when he feels heavier than usual. Her fingers fumble with her keys in the lock, but the door finally gives and Sakura shoves Sasuke into the house, closing and locking the door behind her. “Go sit in the kitchen, you idiot.”
Naruto shows up somehow as she is coming into the kitchen, a medical kit in her hands. He looks annoyed, like they’ve decided to have a party in her kitchen and not invite him, and Sakura ignores the way her stomach lurches at seeing him, or how her hands begin to sweat. Now is not the time.
“How did you get stabbed helping rebuild?” Naruto’s tone is so incredulous that Sakura almost laughs, but she doesn’t. Instead, she goes to the sink and wets her only clean rag. When she turns back around, Kakashi is lounging in the kitchen chair opposite to Sasuke.
“Really?” She asks as Sasuke answers, “it was a rogue ninja on my way back here. She took me off guard.”
That sounds wrong, like Sasuke is lying, or something, but what does Sakura know. “Take off your shirt, Sasuke,” she mutters, shooting Naruto and Kakashi a glare as they crack open two of the six beers she’d bought, specifically for them but it would be nice if they asked first.
“What?” Naruto asks, eyes wide and mouth closing around his drink. Sakura glares. Why couldn’t she have gotten a nice, all girls team?
Sasuke looks like he’s put on a bit of weight, but it’s good weight and his chest and arms are thicker than she remembers, which is good, because she remembers a scrawny, pale boy. His wound isn’t bleeding so much anymore, so she gets to work while the boys all converse around her. It’s nice, despite her initial annoyance. She likes having them around, likes the way they all seem to relax around each other now.
Sakura settles for stitching Sasuke up instead of using ninjutsu, too exhausted from her double at the hospital. She’s half way done when the conversation turns from training to Naruto and Hinata, and Sasuke flinches slightly when she pulls too hard on the needle.
“Sorry,” she laughs weakly, sending a bit of numbing chakra into his side, hoping it helps any pain she caused him. “I’m just tired.”
“Sakura,” Kakashi begins, but Sakura finishes and stands, collecting her things.
“I’m going to shower and then sleep, you’re all welcome to stay the night if you all promise to cook breakfast in the morning.”
“Well we sure as hell wouldn’t let you cook it, Sakura,” Naruto crows, and Sakura gives them a small smile before turning around, and walking down the hall.
She doesn’t realize Sasuke has followed her until she moves to close the door to the bathroom, only to see him standing just outside it. She startles slightly, hand tightening on the wood, before relaxing. “Scare me again and I’ll stab you.”
Sasuke’s lips quirk up slightly, and Sakura expects him to say thanks, or to ask about where he’s supposed to sleep, but instead he says, “You never answered my question earlier.”
Blinking, Sakura asks, “What?”
“I asked how you were. You ignored it.”
“Oh.” Sakura looks at him, meets his dark eyes and looks away. “I’m fine,” she shrugs, because she is, really. She’s fine. She’s getting hours at work, doing good things. Tsunade said that Anbu could possibly be looking at her, though Kakashi hadn’t seemed to like that. All in all, she’s doing alright.
Why does he care, though? Or maybe this is Sasuke’s way of making up being a shitty friend the past few years. How does she know that he doesn’t do this with Naruto, too?
Sasuke’s eyes search her, and Sakura steps back once, about to shut the door. “Sleep well, Sasuke.”
“You too,” he murmurs.
She doesn’t know when Sasuke wormed his way back into her life. But she likes this kinder, gentler Sasuke, and she really wants her team to be a team again.
Sakura is lying on her back in training field 12 when Kakashi finds her. The sky is stormy-looking and the air is thick and when Kakashi stands above her, looking down with a frown evident in his eyes, Sakura wants the sky to break open and drown them both.
“You’re thinking of joining Anbu?” Kakashi asks, all false cheerfulness that belies his stance. Sakura is still wiped from her workout with Lee and Shino and still needs to go home and shower and get ready for dinner with the girls, but she doesn’t think she can move just yet. If she could, she’d kick her former sensei right between the legs.
“Yup,” Sakura says back, just as cheerful. “Aren’t you proud of me, sensei?”
“You know how I feel about you joining Anbu.”
Sakura grits her teeth and rolls to her feet, glaring at Kakashi. “Yeah, I do. I also know that if it were Naruto or Shikamaru or hell, even Ino you wouldn’t give a goddamn.”
Kakashi’s jaw clenches, and Sakura wants to tell him that no, she isn’t actually going to join Anbu, that no, she knows it isn’t the right thing for her. But she’ll be damned if she admits that to him, especially with the way he’s been acting.
“I would if they were doing it for a good reason. You’re doing it to escape your feelings.”
Sakura actually laughs at this, a full-bellied laugh that sounds more bitter than she means it to. “Are you--are you lecturing me on avoiding feelings? I’m pretty sure you are the most emotionally repressed person I’ve ever met, so you can go fuck yourself, sensei.”
Kakashi’s eyes blaze and Sakura’s fingers itch for a kunai. “Exactly, which is why I’m trying to keep you from doing the same thing. I know you have feelings for Naruto, and I know that seeing him around Hinata upsets you, but you should talk to him about it, not run from it. Especially not to Anbu.”
“Fuck you,” Sakura snaps, but it sounds weak to her ears. “You don’t know a damn thing, so just shut up.”
“I know I’m not a shining example,” Kakashi says after a few moments of silence, shoulders drooping and eyes softening. “But running from your feelings doesn’t help, ever.”
Sakura isn’t running from her feelings. She’s avoiding Naruto because he’s irritating when he’s infatuated with something, and maybe she’s been working a lot, maybe she considered Anbu for a hot second, but this is Sakura’s life, and even if Kakashi is the Hokage, he can’t decide for her.
“I’m going to be late for dinner,” is all she says, pushing to her feet and turning on her heel, walking from the field, shoulders tight.
--
Sakura’s legs are tangled with Naruto’s on the training field one day when he asks, “Do you hate Sasuke?”
She hesitates, but it’s not because she hates him. Rather, she isn’t sure how she feels about him. When he shows up in the village, she is happy. But when he is gone, Sakura just feels sad, like maybe they’re missing something important, or losing him again. Sometimes she wants to tie him down and make him stay, but she knows better.
So, “no, Naruto I don’t.”
He exhales loudly, pushing himself into a sitting position. “Oh, good. Kiba owes me so much money.”
Sakura is not drunk, but she might be tipsy. She doesn’t understand how Ino can drink so much, how she can outdrink all of them except Choji and Naruto, and the latter only because the fox keeps him from getting drunk. Sakura had thought that becoming Tsunade’s apprentice would help with her alcohol tolerance. She was so wrong.
She also doesn’t understand why she thought walking home would be a good idea, but whatever. It’s a beautiful night and her feet don’t really hurt from her strappy shoes, and love is in the air. At least for Temari and Shikamaru, which is beautiful. Love is beautiful. Her friends are beautiful. She had even plotted with Tenten to get Hinata and Naruto alone together, which was a feat in and of itself, since they’re both horribly dense.
The night had been a success, even though she and Kakashi weren’t talking to each other and Sai and Ino looked way too flirty and Kiba kept whining to her about Shino talking to some random girl.
So when she makes her way up the stairs to her apartment, she doesn’t expect to fall. She is a shinobi, she has trained for most of her life, so how the hell does a little bit of alcohol and a set of stairs become her downfall?
Sakura considers sitting on the stairs for a bit, because she’s really annoyed that she fell, and she also doesn’t want to move, because her knee is scraped and shit, why do the most mundane injuries always hurt the most?
A shadow passes over her, and before Sakura can react, Sasuke is standing on the stairs a few down, watching her with a smirk. His hair looks goofy, probably because he’s not using the headband properly, and his poncho makes Sakura want to kick him down the steps, but she smiles because she’s also happy to see him.
“Hi,” she grins, discreetly closing her legs, because she’s sure he got a good panty shot. “Care to help a girl to her apartment? I can promise you some leftovers and my spare bedroom.”
Sasuke’s smirk widens, almost a smile, but not quite, and he reaches for her hand, pulling her up and twisting her around, so she’s walking up the stairs again.
“How are you?” He asks while she looks for her key.
“I’m great. Shikamaru is getting married.”
“I know,” Sasuke says. “I was just there.”
“You weeeeereeee?” Sakura widens her eyes, turning to look at him as she moves into her apartment, kicking off her shoes. “I didn’t see you.”
“I was talking with Kakashi and Naruto.”
“Oh,” Sakura’s lip curls and she flits away to the kitchen, ready to chow down on the leftover noodles. “Well you should have said hello to me, too.”
“I followed you home instead.”
“That’s creepy as hell, Sasuke.”
When she finally sits down, food and water in front of them, Sakura smiles. “I’m glad you did, though. I probably would have sat on those steps for at least another twenty minutes.”
Sasuke chuckles a bit, which makes Sakura preen. She digs into her food happily, and everything is nice between them until Sasuke asks, “Why are you and Kakashi fighting?”
Sakura pauses, noodle slipping off her fork as her hand hovers above the bowl. Sasuke keeps eating, like he hasn’t just asked an invasive (-ish, Sakura reluctantly adds) question. In fact, he keeps stuffing his face with her food, and she’s got half a mind to snatch it from him. As it is, she’s still pretty...inebriated, and Sasuke has always been faster than her.
So instead, she says, “That is the business of people who are around often and not every few months.”
Sasuke’s shoulders stiffen, but his gaze when he looks up is annoyed. “You’re still my team. I just...wanted to know. You don’t need to tell me.”
“I know,” Sakura snaps, spearing several noodles with her fork. They eat in tense silence for several moments before she sighs. “He doesn’t want me to join Anbu.”
Sasuke puts his fork down beside his own bowl and leans back in his chair. Sakura watches, wondering how long it took for him to learn how to control his body without his arm, wonders if he ever toppled over because he overestimated something. Wonders if he would still consider doing the same thing Naruto did.
She’s so focused watching the way he adjusts his body that she doesn’t notice the small frown on his face, and barely registers it when he asks, “That’s why you’re angry with each other?”
Furrowing her brows, Sakura shrugs. “Yes.”
“That’s stupid.”
“You’re stupid,” Sakura sticks her tongue out and crosses her arms over her chest. When he scowls, Sakura smirks.
He leans forward, arm resting on the table as he speaks to her. “You know he’s just looking out for you, right? Anbu isn’t just going on undercover missions, it’s dirty work. And it changes people.” Here, his eyes darken, and Sakura swallows. She knows Anbu isn’t for everyone--doesn’t think she would like it, even, because for all her hard work, Sakura likes being able to brag when she does something awesome--but the fact that Kakashi was so against it just...
Sakura doesn’t take well to being told she can’t do something, is all.
“So you don’t think I should do it either,” Sakura turns away from him, looks at her fridge covered in pictures and reminders. There is only one picture of her entire team up there, taken a few months after the war, when Sasuke came back the first time. They all look happy, and Sasuke is even smiling, small and barely there, despite being shoved in the middle of all of them.
“No,” Sasuke murmurs eventually, looking at the fridge, too. “But I don’t think you would do it, anyway. It’s not you.”
“What would you know about me’?” Her voice is bitter, but Sakura passes it off as the alcohol in her system, though she doesn’t think there is much left.
She can feel his eyes boring into the side of her face, dark and endless and not empty like they had been three years ago. Though, none of them are the same as they had been three years ago.
“I know you, Sakura,” Sasuke’s voice is quiet, calm. Maybe there is something underneath it, but Sakura doesn’t care to look too deeply into it.
She’s saved from having to reply by three loud, very heavy bangs against her door, and Naruto and Ino’s voices calling her name, loud and drunk.
“I’ll be back,” she tells Sasuke, standing quickly.
As she leaves the room, she ignores his quiet, “I know.”
“I’m sorry.”
Sakura can barely breathe, can hardly think beyond the pain in her leg, and the stifling heat of the cave they’re trapped in. Hinata, however, wants to talk. Which would be nice, because prior to her apology, she had been humming something soft and quiet and it had been soothing, but she probably wants to talk about something important, and sorry but Sakura does not have the fucking patience.
“For what?” She mutters anyway, anything, she supposes, to take her mind off the pain in her leg. She’s used up too much of her chakra already and neither she nor Hinata have soldier pills. Who only knows when their reinforcements will arrive.
Hinata is quiet for a moment, and Sakura lifts her eyes to watch the girl, sitting against the other wall, both hands bruised, knuckles split. Then she says, almost too quiet for Sakura to catch, “I never realized how you felt about him.”
Sakura’s eyes widen, her mouth opening as she tries to grasp what Hinata just said. The girl’s colourless eyes meet hers, and Sakura swallows thickly, turning away and looking at her leg. Maybe she should have just pretended to pass out.
“I don’t. Feel that way, I mean. Not anymore.” Sakura whispers eventually, wiping sweat away from her brow. She feels a little light headed, maybe from blood loss, maybe because it’s so hot. She wonders what Hinata would do if she passed out. Sakura would probably punch a hole through the rocks out of sheer annoyance.
Hinata pulls her legs to her chest, her bangs sticking to her forehead in wet clumps. “But you did. And I should have noticed, because we’re friends.”
“You love him too,” Sakura shrugs, breath coming a little faster. Her heart is beating wildly, but it’s not because she’s thinking of Naruto, and it’s not because she’s jealous. “And I knew that. Just make him happy, alright? Make sure he’s happy. He deserves that.”
Sakura’s vision is tunneling, and if she weren’t so woozy, she would think that she could hear pounding coming from somewhere. She figures it’s her heart.
Distantly, she hears Hinata’s calming voice, “of course,” and then a more panicked tone, and then--
Well, and then Sakura passes out.
Sakura opens her gummy eyes, the low light of the room easy on them. It must be night, because the windows are shaded and the light is off in the room--
Oh, Sakura realizes a little late. I’m home.
Or rather, she’s in Konoha, in the hospital. Sakura wiggles her toes, glad that her leg feels so much better. Tsunade is probably gonna knock her out again when she sees her, but Sakura doesn’t mind. Her mentor usually heals Sakura up really well so she can spar when she’s out of the hospital. It’s a thing they do.
Sakura stretches a bit, enjoying the warmth it gives her muscles. When she turns her head, she is only a little surprised to see Naruto sitting in a chair against the wall, mouth open wide. What really shocks her is Sasuke sitting beside Naruto, chin resting on his chest, eyes closed peacefully.
She isn’t naive enough to think he heard about her getting hurt and so he ran home to see her, but Sakura thinks it would be nice if that were true. As it is, she’s just happy that he’s home.
Turning, Sakura looks at her bedside table for a pitcher of water when Sasuke’s quiet voice asks, “How are you?”
Sakura’s hand fumbles with the glass, but Sasuke is there to catch it. He pours her a glass of water and helps her sit up to drink it, and then helps ease her back down, hands gentle and kind. Sakura looks into his eyes and smiles softly, murmuring, “How have you been?”
“I asked first,” Sasuke chides teasingly, sitting back in his chair. Naruto shifts in his own chair, snores reverberating around the room.
Sakura shuffles the pillow around to be more comfortable. “I’m alright, I guess. My leg feels better.”
“It looked terrible,” Sasuke tells her, chin resting in his hand as he watches her. Sakura frowns, wondering how he would know how terrible it looked unless--
“You were there?” Sakura breathes, sitting up on her elbow. She pulls a little too hard against her IV drip and grimaces, but doesn’t take her eyes off Sasuke.
Looking vaguely uncomfortable, Sasuke shrugs, hunching his shoulders up around his ears. “I was in the area with Juugo, Suigetsu and Karin. I sensed your chakra flare up so I figured you could use the help.”
Sakura swallows, sure her face is beet red. “Oh--well, um, thanks? Thank you. Yes.”
Sasuke scowls at her, then looks back at Naruto. “I was coming back here anyway. I think I pulled something in my arm and I needed you to look at it.”
Sakura gets more comfortable, closing her eyes lightly. “Needed? If you went to Ino instead--”
“Hinata took care of it for me,” Sasuke murmurs, and she can barely hear him over Naruto’s snore.
Pursing her lips, Sakura opens her eyes to glare at him. Still, she’s glad he got it taken care of as soon as possible. “Where is the rest of your team?”
“They left yesterday afternoon. Don’t worry about it, you should get some sleep.” Sasuke leans back in his chair, legs stretched out across the room, feet crossed at the ankles. Sakura smiles.
“Will you be here when I wake up?”
In a moment of bravery, Sakura meets his eyes. She wonders if the medication she is surely on is making her see things, because his eyes look soft, and the harshness that is usually present in his face is gone. When he speaks, Sakura’s insides flutter. “Yes. I’ll be here.”
If she presses her face into her pillow, well. She’s heavily medicated.
“I’m sorry,” Sakura and Kakashi say at the same time, both looking very annoyed with each other.
They’re sitting at Ichiraku waiting for their bowls. Kakashi even paid, which was enough of an apology that Sakura didn’t expect another.
Shrugging, Sakura says, “you were right, anyway. I’m not cut out for Anbu.”
Kakashi has the decency to look like he feels bad. “I never meant that you weren’t cut out. Only that...well you’re a good person, Sakura. Anbu can turn good people cruel.”
He looks sufficiently uncomfortable, so Sakura knocks her shoulder into his and smiles when Teuchi puts their ramen down before them. He isn’t much for sentimentality and looks like he might actually bolt at any second, so Sakura just starts eating.
Breathing a little sigh of relief, Kakashi follows.
Things change quickly after that.
Suddenly, the moon is falling, and Hanabi is gone, and she is trying to help Naruto and Hinata see how they feel for each other.
Sakura doesn’t feel an inch of jealousy when she sees them kiss. She just feels happy and that makes her even more happy, because she loves that her friends have finally realized their feelings for each other.
But with everything happening, all the changes, she realizes that she is being left behind again. Naruto spends more time with Hinata than ever before, and Sai has been seeing Ino (on the sly, though Sakura has caught him sketching the blonde several times), and Kakashi has being Hokage to worry about.
She tries to focus on other things--the hospital, spending time with her friends she hasn’t seen in a while--but more often than not, Sakura finds herself wanting.
For what, she isn’t sure. Sometimes Sakura thinks her mind just wants what it can’t have, but then Sasuke comes home.
She’s just finished showering when she senses his chakra standing outside her front door. He wouldn’t knock, of course, Sakura thinks to herself as she walks toward the door, why would he waste the energy?
Sakura isn’t smiling when she pulls the door open, but she does a little bit when she spots the sheepish look on his face, and she almost bursts out laughing when she realizes he’s soaking wet from the downpour outside. “You do know Naruto’s apartment is closer to the gates, right?”
Sasuke scowls, moving past her and into the apartment. “I’m not afraid for my health when I stay here.”
“So Naruto’s messiness is your weakness? Good to know...” she laughs when he glares at her, but she darts forward and takes his arm, dragging him to the washroom. “You can warm up while I make you something to eat.”
“You don’t have to--”
“I want to,” Sakura says firmly. “There’s so much you’ve missed! We need to catch up.”
Sasuke rolls his eyes, but goes into the bathroom while she makes her way into the kitchen.
He’s out in thirteen minutes, and Sakura has just finished heating up last night’s leftovers when he sits down at the table, looking clean and warm. He waits for her to sit down before he starts eating. Sakura leans forward on the table, propping her chin on her hand. “So did you hear about Hinata and Naruto?”
He nods, chewing slowly. When he swallows, he says, “I left before their big kiss,” at this he rolls his eyes, “but in the letters he has sent me, I get the feeling that they’re happy.”
“Disgustingly so,” Sakura smiles, laughing when Sasuke makes a face and takes another bite. They talk for a bit longer, about Tenten opening her own weapon shop, and Choji sneaking off to Cloud (to see a girl Ino thinks) and Shikamaru and Temari’s upcoming wedding. They talk about Sasuke’s travelling--only the barest details, much to Sakura’s annoyance--until there is nothing left to talk about.
It’s early in the morning--or late, depending on who you ask--when they decide to turn in for the night. Sakura stands and stretches her back out, grinning at the cracks. Sasuke brings his empty dishes to the sink.
“You’re good in the guest bedroom, right?” Sakura asks, then berates herself. Of course he would be; if he wasn’t, where else would he sleep? Her couch? Her bed?
He must realize what she’s thinking about, because he smirks. “It’s fine.”
They walk the short way toward the bedrooms, and as they pause outside the guest room, Sakura’s stomach feels tight and fluttery at the same time. She holds her hands behind her back, clasping them together tight enough to hurt. “Well...I’ll see you in the morning?”
He usually stays long enough to have breakfast and do whatever it is that he’s come back for. Sometimes it takes a week, sometimes just a few days. This feels like a short stay, and Sakura...she doesn’t want him to leave.
It hits her like a fist to the stomach. She doesn’t want him to leave, because she’ll miss him. Sakura had thought that her feelings for Sasuke had dulled, or that she had gotten past them, but now standing in front of him, meeting his eyes, she realizes that they’re still there.
Maybe...maybe this is what she needs. Maybe this is who she needs, and Sakura never thought that she would think those thoughts ever again, but here it is. She loves Sasuke, and he must--he might--
“Why do you always come see me?” Sakura blurts out, shutting her mouth as soon as the words come tumbling out. Her face heats, and she knows that despite the low light in the hallway, he can see it. She wonders if he can hear how hard her heart is beating. She wonders if his is beating just as hard, just as fast.
Sasuke’s eyes narrow, and he looks away. “You’re my friend.”
She expected that--is glad really, because they can just forget about this and go back to how things were before, only she doesn’t...she wants--
“That’s it?”
Sasuke’s eyes find hers, hard and searching, before looking at a spot over her shoulder. He looks uncomfortable, and Sakura feels guilt clog her throat and tears well at her eyes. She turns slightly, ready to go back to her room, when his cool fingers touch hers.
It sends a jolt up her arm, but Sakura can’t turn and look at him. She grits her teeth at the moisture in her eyes; how could she be so stupid? She’s acting like the stupid thirteen year old who begged him to stay, to take her with him. She’s acting like an idiot and Ino would punch her in the face for it. Sakura would gladly let her, too and--
“I...I’m not like Naruto,” Sasuke murmurs, fingers still touching hers, just the barest hint of flesh against flesh, but Sakura’s breath still catches in her throat, and she turns to look at him, brows furrowed.
“What do you mean?” Was her feelings for Naruto that transparent? She knows that he would never have realized her feelings for him because bless him, he’s not the sharpest kunai in the pouch when it comes to things like that, but...but Sakura realizes that Sasuke probably could have read the feelings like a book on her face.
She’s about to tell him to just forget everything when he says, a little frustrated, “Naruto’s the romantic, not me. But I have been trying...trying to be someone you might be happy with.”
Frozen, eyes wide, Sakura asks, “Why?”
Sasuke glares, and Sakura feels like an idiot, because she knows why. The realization sends warmth through her, and the way his fingers shift against hers has Sakura reaching forward and twining their fingers together fully. “Oh.”
He’s still glaring when she leans closer, but his face and lips are soft when she presses hers against his.