Work Text:
sept 2022
there was something tender in the immature way he grabbed his face, in the way his boyish cheeks were squished between sweaty palms. there was something terribly amusing in the way their eyes danced, initially pouring into and absorbing each other but then shutting tight to mimic what they had seen on tv. after nothing was said and all was done, a kiss was placed, and reciprocated. a kiss so soft it put silk to shame. a kiss that they’d try to replicate, again and again till the epilogue of their youth.
aug 2022
“you’re beautiful.” - the near blind look in his eye confirmed three things, that he was going to die, he was in love, and as the poets say, love is blind. karma sighed, lowering his weapon at this realization. even in his mangled state, with his appearance deformed and the weight on his shoulders heavier than ever, he was beautiful. to karma, he was beautiful, and that was enough for him to put down the rock and spare gakushuu from a mercy death. instead he stroked his bloodstained (though not noticeable) hair and planted a kiss on the other boy’s forehead. that’s what they were at the end of the day, boys. just like they were at the start. after a moment of warm and knowing silence, gakushuu spoke up.
“don’t say it.”
“i won’t,” karma affirmed. but the doubt in his mind had been growing. could he knowingly say goodbye? even when there was still a chance to be had, and a million more? he closed his eyes to think. “gakushuu?” he asked, without opening them. gakushuu coughed in response, the blood getting to his throat. “how mad would you be if i did it again,” he hadn’t noticed the tears in his eyes until one fell.
“i’d kill you.”
“wouldn’t that be lonely?” the words came out before he had time to process them. because subconsciously he realized that going through with this meant he was going to be alone.
“karma if you do it again-“
“i’m sorry gakushuu, i just can’t say,” he opened his eyes and closed shuu’s with his hand, “goodbye.”
like clockwork, gakushuu’s wounds began to glow white and gold, and then went on to healing and closing. gakushuu furrowed his eyebrows and rolled over.
“karma?” he asked after a moment of silence, in which karma got up and was ready to bolt.
“yeees?”
“IM GONNA KILL YOU,” he leaped up and began to chase the redhead.
“how was i supposed to get rid of your body?” he yelled back.
“BURN IT, I’M GONNA BURN YOU!” He leapt up and they spent the night “hunting.”
aug 13, 2022
“now or never.” three words that karma dreaded hearing the most.
“we’re going through with it?” he asked, trying to appeal to whatever sanity gakushuu had left.
“yes.” with that he took the redhead’s hand and pulled him over the edge.
that’s when karma woke up.
-
he was alone in his bedroom as usual, awake an hour earlier than he should be. he sighed and got up to wash up and make breakfast. he didn’t know when he started having dreams about the class president but he sure as hell wasn’t going to tell anyone. he hadn’t spoken to the guy once and dreaming of anyone in any context was considered weird. he didn’t want to be labelled as anything he was uncomfortable with. so that morning he went to school and avoided all possible human interaction, as usual. that was his routine at this new school, he didn’t want to make a reputation for himself being the delinquent, not after the affairs with his previous school. high school was meant to be a fresh start for him, and if he wanted to make his parents the least bit happy he would have to keep it up.
so he sat quietly the next morning, ready to finish whatever worksheet he was to be given as slowly as possible to not attract any attention. it was better this way. the sheets were boring as usual, but the only other person who seemed to think so was the president. as much as the delinquent in him wanted to steal his thunder, he was lazy. it wasn’t until third period when no one raised their hand to answer a very simple question, that he answered before anyone else and all of a sudden all eyes were on him.
-
“you’re lazy,” gakushuu deadpanned. that caught karma off guard. “you clearly know the answers,” he continued.
“okay,” he blinked.
“okay? try harder.”
“why? my grades are fine the way they are, second in class.”
“is that any fun?”
“being second?”
“not trying.”
“if i can get by doing less than i will.”
“so i was right.”
“about?” he asked. this whole interaction was quite weird. he had never seen gakushuu away from his friends or peers that he tutored. they were all alone in the hallway leading up to the stairway to the roof. too close to the location in his dream.
“you being lazy.”
“gosh you’re more persistent than i thought, what do you want me to do about it? my laziness.”
“try harder in class.”
“so i can take your spot?”
“you couldn’t if you tried. i want you to know that.”
“ah so it’s an ego issue,” karma smiled, “i can’t say no to a little friendly competition.” like any truly gifted protagonist, hubris was to be their downfall.
“i knew you had it in you. three sets of exams this year, best two out of three.”
“deal. what do i get when i win?” karma asked. gakushuu’s eyes shone.
“a favour from me, anything you want. and when I win?”
“the same from me.” karma didn’t know what he was getting himself into.
(even i want to know what he got himself into fr)
aug 5, 2022
To survive for ages as one soul is a blessing. What don’t you understand?
“How to be alone.”
To say that everything is tied together is an understatement, because it’s not a tie that holds them together. It’s a bond, a merge that’s lasted longer than names of continents. It absorbed both of them until no one could really claim that they were two beings. Not even themselves.
At first it was bliss, after months of yearning Gakushuu and Karma were finally wed, in their own way. then to seal their fate they went to a witch, who granted them eternal love, a feat Gakushuu thought a blatant lie when Karma died years after.
Until they met again. and again. and again.
“Do you think we’ll ever be free?” Gakushuu asked his sleepy companion. They were lying on the roof of his 18th century home. He had acquired it in 1781.
“Nope.” He snuggled his face into the pillow he brought up, “not in a million years.”
“Does that bother you?”
“100 percent.” Gakushuu frowned.
“Let’s do something about it then,” he suggested. The year was 1982 and he still had some ideas up his sleeve.
“Again? Are you not comfortable here? I could sleep on this roof forever.”
“I’m very comfortable actually, but I think that that’s the problem.
-
Soon enough it was 2022 and they were sure they had seen it all. Together, everything. What a sad way to exist.
july 1, 2022
it’s like checkers
don’t you mean chess? no. it’s a dance, like the final stage of checkers, when all the kings are out, sidestepping out of their fate. that’s what’s happening here. it’s a vain battle of wits (and we’re stuck in the middle of it)
june 1, 2022
i died a thousand deaths after taking a peek into the depths of the moor that rests in your eye. into the very essence of life stored soundly in your face. The pristine appearance of nature falters at your piercing gaze, kings and kingdoms would fall with just a look, a glance, a peek. In the moments when the night sky meets daylight and the image of grass shimmers on the surface of a glossy lake is reflected on your face, i find an uncomfortable feeling, unease, and distaste. a movement in my soul that i cannot contain. is it contempt? jealousy? hate? a bouquet of all those things wrapped into a fist, pounding in my throat? ah. it is delusion i’m afraid. the holes of gaping yellow and green threaten to consume my being until i am nothing but a gawking shadow, the remnants of a dream, until i am ruined beyond repair. i open my mouth to speak a word, in an attempt to slow my imminent death, but something not unlike sand comes out in the place of words. in turn the snake smiles and smashes a dark blue guitar on my head. but i awake, far from dead.
(someone finance my therapy, and help bc it was so nice at first wtf did i do here)
there was another one but i’ll just make it a fic (and like 20 others but they’re either too short or too far back)