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The palace grounds looked exactly the way Horatio remembered them. If anything they looked cleaner. But the first time he had been here he had been nervous, near shaking with anxiety. Back then Verne had been invited to a banquet, as the pact commander.
It had been an event largely for show. That wasn’t much different now. The circumstances were different, this wasn’t the same Verne. And yet…
There was music playing A waltz. Way back when Horatio hadn’t known how to dance to that. All he had been familar were the traditional Sylvari dances. And he still had craved that moment of closeness with Verne.
It was different now. Verne was busy talking to some nobles, probably just making idle conversation. A few couples were dancing around. It was getting dark, the lighting under the glass dome high up top the city adding to this strange atmosphere of safety and calm.
He felt the nervous energy race through him, nag at him. He had a memory of something very similar. He didnt want to override it, but the craving to have something like that again was almost painful.
He was standing off to the side, watching. A human woman had approached him for a dance a few minutes ago and he had turned her down almost rudely. He wasn’t going to dance with anyone but Verne tonight. Horatio was aware of his effect on people. He looked strange, different from the typical Sylvari, but interesting enough to strike conversation with. It wasn’t rare for people to pull at his foliage, occasionally even ripping some of the smaller leaves out because they couldnt mind their own business.
Horatio sighed, chewing on his lower lip to somehow contain all these emotions he was feeling at Verne flittering between people, sharing a laugh here and there. The mesmer was so much more social than Horatio was.
Verne glanced at him just a moment later, their eyes meeting as if time slowed down. Horatio opened his mouth to say something, stopped himself. He couldn’t interrupt. This was important, even when the meaning o this event was lost on him. This wasn’t to represent the pact or anything.
Had the queen just invited Verne as a friend?
He had been lost in thought, near jumped when Verne was suddenly in front of him.
“Easy,” Verne whispered, a small smile on his face.
Horatio couldn’t form a single word. It had been over a year since he had been here, but sometimes it was still hard to accept this as the new reality. This man would never have the same memories of thins Horatio remembered. There had been many moment that would never be the same, many conversations that would never happen.
And yet none of that mattered. This man was the same. The slight differences easily overlooked, maybe even interesting. He knew where he stood with him, and even though there was love between them, that was different too.
If it would ever get as intimate as it had been, Horatio didn’t know. He craved the contact, Verne tended to avoid it. They talked a lot, but the physical factor was rarely there.
“…dance?” Vernes voice ripped him out of his thoughts.
“Wha-?” Horatio could only utter.
Verne smirked with a huffed laugh and reached a hand out to him. “I asked if you wanted to dance.”
Somewhere in the background something shattered, but Horatio could not take his eyes off of the other mesmer. The teal eyes, always seeminly staring into his soul, knowing of every lie he had ever told…
Horatio couldn’t answer, the emotion too strong. He barely managed to lift his hand to be taken by Verne’s and slowly guided into the open space where other people were dancing.
Horatio stumbled over the steps, his mind near blank at the assault of emotion. He couldn’t place them. Was he sad? Happy? Grateful?
“Relax.” Verne whispered. “It’s just a dance.”
Horatio could barely hold back the tears when he finally spoke, “It’s more than that-“
Verne’s expression changed from the small smile to a concerned frown, “Are you alright?”
Horatio nodded too quickly, tears near spilling. He took a deep breath, trying to suppress them.
“Hey,” Verne continued to whisper, voice gentle as he slowly pulled the other mesmer off to the side.
“Let’s not draw attention. There’s people here i dont trust.” Verne explained, slowly guiding Horatio away from the people and to a quieter corner of the palace grounds.
Once they were out of sight Verne drew him closer, holding him as tight as he dared.
The tears Horatio had been trying to keep at bay the whole time then finally spilled. Verne kissed the side of his neck, gently swaying with the rhythm of the music. Tears spilled into the fabric of Verne’s coat, quiet sobs shaking the chronomancer.
“I’m sorry-“ Horatio ground out, clinging to Verne like a lifeline. “I don’t know why I’m crying-“
He felt Verne shake his head against his shoulder. “That’s alright.” He whispered, still holding him tight, a hand rubbing circles into Horatio’s back. “How about we go home?”
“And the banquet?”
“My job here is done.” Verne shrugged silently, the distinct one shouldered motion he tended to do.
Reluctantly Horatio separated from him, eyes widening when Verne gripped his hand like a vice. There was a slight tremor to his frame.
At Horatio’s shocked gaze Verne only chuckled. “Your hurting hurts me too.” He admitted.
“I’m sorry-“
Verne shook his head. “This isn’t your fault.”
“But-“
Verne turned to look him straight in the eyes, shaking his head again. “No. Healing takes time, and i know i am a hypocrite for saying this, but you don’t have to bottle this up, If you need to cry, cry. I can’t begin to understand what you’ve been through and how that feels, but i will be there for you to help you through it all the same.”
Horatio grimaced, hastily wiping more tears away. “I… I don’t think this will ever fully go away. I know you’re there now but there are so many things… so many… memories …”
Verne gently reached for Horatio’s cheek, wiped a stray tear away. “Do you want to share those memories?”
The chronomancer nodded without hesitation. “But… it would mess things up- and-“
“Do you ever plan on going back?” Verne asked then. He already knew the answer to that question. Horatio had never truly wanted to return to his timeline.
“I… I can't. I can’t live in a world without you.”
Verne slowly pulled him down to his level, standing on the tips of his toes to close the distance as he carefully captured Horatio’s lips. The chronomancer leaned in, answering with another kiss.
“Then stay, write those memories down. Share those you want to share.” Verne whispered into the kiss.
Horatio nodded, sniffling against the tears and looking rather annoyed at all of those. Verne smirked at him, giving him a tight squeeze that made him yelp in surprise. “Lets go home. Bake some cookies or something.”
“Okay.” Horatio nodded firmly.
He was tired of feeling like this, but even after such a long time, the smallest thing, the tiniest memory caused all these emotions to flare up.
“…I feel like i am ungrateful.” He admitted as they were making their way down to the lower level of the city.
“Why?” Verne asked, keeping a firm grip of Horatio’s hand the whole time, answered by an equally firm grip of the other mesmer.
“…because you’re there but i saw you die ... But you’re there.”
Verne shook his head. “That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. H, I know how chronomancy works and while I have not managed to turn back time by 17 years, I can understand the concept. Two things can be true at the same time.”
“Is… is that why you stopped?”
“Chronomancy? Yes.” Verne shrugged.
Horatio nodded, slowly sinking into silence as they walked. Verne continued to hold his hand, squeezing it slightly.
“I didn’t understand the concept of romantic love until i met you.” Verne muttered. “It’s still somewhat foreign to me, and yet I cannot imagine living without you anymore. It’s like some missing piece has finally turned up.”
Horatio cursed under his breath, shaking his head as if in disbelief. “How… do you managed to chan words together the same way sometimes-“
Verne smirked again, making an overbearing gesture with his free hand. “Mesmer magic.”
A sudden loud laugh escaped Horatio, taking both of them by surprise. They stared at each other for a second before both of them burst into laughter.
Even after all these tears, there was still humor to be found somewhere and Horatio was eternally grateful for having gotten a second chance, even if he kept feeling like he wasn’t appreciating it enough.
“I love you.” Verne whispered after they had calmed down, still walking hand in hand along the sidewalk of divinity’s reach.