Chapter Text
It was all a misunderstanding. Jerry had no way of knowing when the note was written or why, all he knew was that he was messing around at home when he saw the wallet sitting innocently on the kitchen table. His first thought was that it must have been Jack’s and that he should drive over to the gas station and give it to him just in case he needed it later. That was the original intention but after he picked it up… he got curious. After all, Jack has always been so secretive, he rarely goes out of his way to bring up his past or talk about himself at all. Jerry never thought it was intentional on Jack's part, he just didn't see the point in going out of his way to talk about himself.
Jerry turned the old worn leather over in his palms, it looked like the wallet was really nice and expensive once. must have been a gift or something, dark God knows jack would never spend this much on himself. After opening it he was surprised to see a small photo of a younger Jack and a girl his age, it was obviously cut out of a larger photo, and the background looked like that bookstore Jack used to go to all the time. You know… before brother Riley tried to take over the world. Careful to not damage the photo Jerry removed it from the wallet, snapped a photo with his phone (for the scrapbook) and put it back.
After that, the blond started to thumb through Jack’s cards, visa, debit, and a few points cards and expired coupons, but when he went to check the area reserved for bills he noticed a neatly folded paper. What happens next can be collectively considered “The Incident”.
You see after Jack was made aware by the Russian radio that he would either kill or be killed by a mystery attacker, he wrote a will. Said will was both extremely detailed and at no point stated why exactly he would write it. He never mentions his illness or his potential murder, he simply states who will get what and what to do with the gas station.
After Jeremy first finished reading the paper he was confused, this must have been written over two months ago since he mentioned giving his books to brother Riley, and him telling Jerry about how “he needs to destroy the gas station and not let anyone have it” is probably because of Doctor Howard but… why did he need the will in the first place?
At first, Jerry tried to rationalize it. After all, Jack had been through a lot, he may have just been worried about anything happening to him. Or this could even be from his illness, worried that the stress might do him in, but he would have mentioned why wouldn't he? And the spread of his will seemed so thought out like he had been planning this for a while. Like he was considering… or even planning his own……
NO! No fucking way, Jack would never! Sure he might be sick and constantly tired yet unable to sleep and he might have a lot of mental issues but.
But what? Jack has always been a nihilist, and he does have a lot of trauma, trust issues, mental health issues and physical health issues, from both before and after they met. His past doesn't seem so great considering where he grew up and the bits and pieces of Jacks's past he's let slip through. Most of the town hates him or even tried to kill him. His own friend circle was just as bad, half the people that Jack once called friends have at some point or another wanted his head on a stick and half of both his good and bad friends are dead, hell one time when Jack and Jerry got drunk he admitted that his very own therapist had encouraged him to kill himself. At the time it didn't quite hit him just how fucked up that was but now the memory comes crashing back to Jerry like a speeding truck, along with another. It was when Jack came to visit the compound when he thought Jerry was depressed after losing Vanessa. When he told Jerry the story of his own past, about Sabine… Jack seemed so wistful talking about her, and when he looked up. That recognition in his eyes that seemed like he knew exactly how much it hurt. Only for him to panic when Jerry said he wasn't depressed. Could Jack have been? Was he trying to empathize with what he thought was my depression because that's how he felt too?
This can't be right, at least not all of it, because if it was then…
Was he reading Jack's suicide note?