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Lucy goes home after Tim finally (finally) asks her to dinner. It won’t be tonight, despite the way that he pouts a little when she tells him as much.
“We’re not rushing,” she says. “This is worth doing the right way.”
“You’re really stringing me along here, Chen,” he says, but the way his lips quirk upward betray him.
“What can I say? I like a little…delayed gratification.” She bats her lashes and smiles sweetly and leaves him in Grey’s office to think about that.
So she goes home and takes a long, hot shower and crawls into bed and all of it is on autopilot because all she can think about is Tim.
You deserve someone who’s worth the effort.
Those words play on loop in her brain until she outwardly groans, pressing her face into her pillow as her hand scrabbles for her phone.
L: I’ve changed my mind. Delayed gratification is terrible.
It takes less than five seconds for the three dots to appear.
T: it has its perks.
Lucy scoffs at her phone.
L: like WHAT
T: trust the process
She rolls her eyes but can’t stop grinning like some sort of lovesick idiot. Honestly, it’s probably a good thing he can’t see her.
L: Is this some sort of Tim Test?
T: You’re the one who wanted to wait!
Tim rarely uses exclamation points in text so she feels a little vindicated in drawing that level of emotion out of him. At least she’s not the only one suffering.
L: so where are you taking me?
T: you’re just going to have to wait and see.
Lucy pouts at her phone.
T: Don’t pout. We both know you love surprises.
Lucy laughs out loud and gives up on texting, calling him instead.
“Hey.” The warmth in his voice settles into her bones and she couldn’t keep the smile off her face if she tried.
“You’ve always been too good at that, you know,” she murmurs. “Reading me.”
“You’ve never been interested in hiding from me. Part of what I learned from you. Trusting people, letting them in sometimes.” She can hear shuffling on the other end of the line and imagines him in his own bed.
“Oh yeah? What else have you learned from me?” she asks, biting her lip.
“Can’t give it to you all at once. Spoils the fun,” he says.
“This doesn’t…feel real,” she admits after a pause. “I’ve wanted this for so long. I keep replaying today in my head over and over.”
“Me too. Probably should’ve done something about it before today.”
“Mmm, no. Your Lucy wisdom for today is that everything happens when it’s supposed to and that nothing is served by wishing for a different timeline.”
Tim’s chuckle, a little tinny through the phone, is low and indulgent. Just for her.
“I’ll keep that in mind. You know, I don’t think my girlfriends have ever given me lessons before.”
“Oh, so I’m your girlfriend now?” Lucy asks, absolutely certain he can hear how she’s smiling. It’s so…trivial. They put their lives on the line on a regular basis. Girlfriend doesn’t feel strong enough, but it makes her giddy nonetheless.
“Do you want to be?”
“Hmm, I don’t know…I was thinking about playing the field a little. Keeping my options open. You know.” She presses her fingers to her mouth like she can physically keep her expression from giving her away.
“Lucy,” he growls, a warning, and she giggles.
“I have no interest in dating anyone but you. Not that you needed me to tell you that but maybe you needed to hear it, hm?” she asks, gentle now, serious. “I only want you, Tim.”
“Good.” Even without seeing him, she can feel his relief.
“I wish you were here. I mean, I’m happy to do things the right way. I want to take our time. But…since we went undercover, I can’t stop thinking about you touching me.”
The sound he makes heats her blood.
“Makes two of us,” he mutters and Lucy whines. “You need to be good and go to bed.”
It shouldn’t do things to her, him telling her what to do. But it does.
“You’re no fun.”
“Uh huh. Go to bed, Lucy.”
“Yes sir,” she grumbles and it has the desired effect of drawing a sharp breath from him. “I’ll, um, see you tomorrow.”
“You will,” he agrees. “Goodnight, Lucy.”
“Goodnight, Tim.”
She hangs up and curls under the covers and falls asleep imagining his arms around her.
It’s not the first time, not by a long shot. But it’s the first time she doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt or uncertainty, and that is worth its weight in gold.