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It was finally Thursday, the last music show performance of the week, and all of the members were sitting backstage in their dressing room. Minho looked around, taking notice of everyone pretty much doing their own thing. Some were sleeping, some were eating while trying to entertain the ever-present Talker camera, and others were just on their phones trying to occupy themselves. Minho was part of the latter group. He was sitting on one of the couches next to Jisung, both of them looking at their own phones, occasionally leaning closer to show each other something funny. It was somewhat of a routine for them at this point, and not at all uncommon to see them sitting side by side like this.
Jisung, like most other members, hadn’t put on any stage clothes yet. He was wearing an oversized blue hoodie– Minho’s hoodie, only adding to how soft he looked– that was practically drowning him and black sweatpants that fell just a little too long past his legs. His hair wasn’t styled yet either, and instead, a big hair roller sat on top of his forehead with his bangs wrapped around it. Honestly, Jisung should probably look like an idiot right now, but Minho was ‘whipped’ as Hyunjin likes to tease him for, and he couldn’t help but think how cute his boyfriend looked. Especially when he started to do what Minho calls his ‘pout of concentration’ down at his phone– not to be confused with his ‘pout of sadness’, which was devastating and Minho would do anything to never have to see it again.
All that to say, Jisung was looking extra adorable this morning.
Minho looks down at him just in time to see Jisung’s pout turn into a smile at whatever he’s looking at on his phone, giggling as he leans closer towards Minho’s body to show him the phone.
“Hyung, look at this one.” Jisung’s head lands on Minho’s shoulder, his knees tucked up towards his chest so his feet are resting on the couch as well. Curled up into the cutest little ball while he presses play on a short video of a cat chasing around a puppy.
And, well, Minho would love to look at the video. But that seems to be an impossible task for him at the moment because he can’t get his brain to focus on anything except how warm Jisung is and how sweet he smells. It’s like a foggy haze of fondness clouds his brain as he smiles and just keeps looking down at his boyfriend.
After too many seconds, Jisung must notice that Minho isn’t paying attention when the video pulls zero commentary or laughter out of him. He looks up at him with big eyes, the smile from before is still on his face before it changes into a look of confusion once he sees Minho’s expression.
“Hyung, why are you looking at me like that?” Jisung asks, and Minho realizes his face must be ridiculously obvious and showing exactly what he’s feeling at the moment.
Before answering, Minho moves his hands to cup Jisung’s face, lightly squeezing his adorable cheeks before whispering, “Cute.”
He didn’t take a second to stop and think before closing the distance between them and pressing the softest kiss on his boyfriend’s lips. He lingered there for only a moment before pulling back, slowly opening his eyes again.
When there was some distance between their faces again, Minho saw Jisung’s eyes were wide open. It only took a second before he realized that he just kissed Jisung in the middle of their dressing room where anyone could see the two of them.
He quickly shot his head up and looked around to see who could be watching, and sure enough, there was a camera pointed right at them.
Right. They were filming a Talker video today. And the camera of course had to be focused on them during the one and only time that Minho had slipped up.
Fuck.
He turns back to Jisung with worry in his eyes, frozen in their spot curled up together as Minho tries to come up with their next move. Should they pretend it didn’t happen? There's no way that could work, it was the most obvious lovesick kiss that Minho could have given him. Maybe they could just step out into the hallway and figure something out away from all the eyes in the dressing room. No, that’s even worse, it’ll look like they snuck out there for some other kind of alone time.
Just as he’s coming up with an elaborate plan in his head for the two of them to run out of the building, no, run out of the country. Maybe change their names, spend the rest of their lives in the mountains, away from civilization and any company figures that might find that footage. He sees Jisung out of the corner of his eye, slowly breaking into a fit of giggles. And just like that, all the tension Minho was holding in his body suddenly dissipates at once. He starts to chuckle as well.
Jisung wraps his arms around Minho’s waist and hides his face against his shoulder, coming down from his laughter. The smile Jisung presses into Minho’s shoulder brings the older back down to reality, and back into their shared little bubble.
“What happened to being careful in public, huh?” Jisung jokes.
“To be fair, I don't think anyone else noticed. They’ll cut the footage out of the video anyway.” Minho whispers back so only Jisung can hear. They’ll definitely face consequences, and unless the camera man decides to spare them, get rid of the footage and not turn it in to the company, they’ll have to explain themselves at some point.
Jisung’s voice suddenly turns shy, “What if they don't?” he asks quietly.
Minho pauses. He’s never really considered the possibility of their relationship ever being public knowledge. Even years or decades from now when Stray Kids separates and they’re out of the public eye, he still has only imagined being able to love Jisung in secret. He hasn’t let anything else cross his mind.
“You know they wouldn’t post that.” Minho says, quickly shutting down any hope that they might receive any kind of support from their company, or from the world in general. It hurts too much.
He feels Jisung frown at those words. “Yeah. I know.”
And there it is. Jisung’s ‘pout of sadness’, just as devastating as Minho remembers it.
“Jisungie…” Minho starts, he takes Jisung’s face back in his hands so that his boyfriend will look up at him, and he sees his eyes shining just the slightest at the move. “You know that I want nothing more than to tell the world how much I love you, right?” He needs Jisung to know that just because they’ve decided not to tell the company about their relationship, doesn’t mean that he is in any way ashamed of him. That couldn’t be further from the truth. The love he has for Jisung and the love Jisung gives him in return is the thing most dear to him. How could he ever be ashamed of loving Jisung?
Jisung lips finally turn back into a small smile, but the sadness that’s always in his eyes when they talk about hiding themselves still lingers. “I know, jagi.” He comfortingly squeezes Minho’s waist.
They probably shouldn’t still be holding each other like this. The camera that caught their kiss was turned off and put away immediately after the slip up, but there's still dozens of stylists and managers in the room they are visible to. But Minho can’t bring himself to pull away.
“I love you.” Jisung says, tucking his face into Minho’s neck, the back of his head hiding the small kiss he presses into the skin there.
Minho whispers down at him with a voice full of affection, “I love you too.”
They sit together in silence for a moment, both reflecting on what just happened and what it could mean for the two of them. Minho knows that later when they’re away from all these people and alone back at the dorm they’ll have to talk about this some more. There's no way the company is just going to ignore it or let them get away without some kind of explanation when the video inevitably reaches the editing team.
After a moment, Jisung asks, “Why did you kiss me though?”
Minho looks down at him and feels that same pool of warmth and butterflies in his stomach that he felt in the moment before he kissed him. It’s the same feeling he gets everytime he looks at Jisung. It’s something he can’t put into words, despite trying countless times he’ll never be as good as his boyfriend at coming up with the most beautiful metaphors for his emotions.
“How could I not? You’re so… so you.” Is what Minho lands on as his answer.
“I’m ‘so me’?” Jisung asks, his giggling Minho loves so much starts back up.
“Yes! I don't know how else to explain it. I just… I just looked at you and got dizzy, next thing I know, I’m kissing you in the middle of the dressing room.” He laughs at how absurd he sounds. “God, maybe Hyunjin was right. I am whipped.”
“You’re cute.” Jisung says, smiling up at Minho. “And definitely whipped.”
Minho attempts to look unamused. “Are you really going to be a little shit while I’m loving you?”
Jisung laughs. “I get what you mean though.” He settles back down into Minho’s side. “I think you’re ‘so you’ too.”
The two of them don't say anything more after that. Minho keeps holding Jisung close and occasionally hugging him a little tighter until they eventually have to separate to get their makeup done and change into their stage outfits. They try not to think about the repercussions of the kiss that they’ll face later. But no matter what, they’ll have each other to get through it with.