Chapter Text
July 1995, 18:30pm
Suki ran out of the house, handbag on her arm, picking up her pace as she heard Nish shouting after her.
"Sukhwinder! Don't you dare walk away from me! I have a business meeting! I can't look after two young children and a baby at the same time!"
She felt the tears begin to run down her face as she rounded the corner to the bus stop, relieved as she saw one approaching that was heading to Greenwich.
She was twenty-five. And this is what she had to show for herself. A marriage completely falling apart. A controlling husband who had taken away all her independence and showed little interest in their own children. Those children were now eight, three and ten months old. Well, now was Nish's chance. Maybe he could look after them for a while. Spend time with them. At least try to be a father to them. Because they weren't just her kids. But that's what it felt like. She felt like she was on her own.
She always felt alone.
The bus was full. She sniffed, wiping at her face before stepping on and paying. Rolling her eyes on seeing the downstairs had hardly any space available, she made her way up the steps, feeling the fog of cigarette smoke immediately hit her as the air became hazy. It was meant to be stopped a few years ago, smoking on buses. But occasionally, people ignored the update in the law. Suki was frustrated to see the upstairs, like the downstairs, had little space free.
Walking along the aisle, she spotted a spare seat about halfway down. She sat, looking straight ahead, feeling the person next to her move slightly to give her more room.
Bag in her lap, she rested her hands on top of it, gripping one with the other tightly when she noticed she was shaking. She didn't want to cause a scene or draw attention to herself.
The bus was mostly silent apart from the odd murmur of conversation or the occasional cough. And that's why she heard it. It was tinny, distant, but she'd recognise those type of guitar riffs anywhere. Hesitantly, she flicked her eyes to the side, looking for the first time at the sat person next to her.
The young woman next to her. Who was wearing headphones over cropped brown hair, staring out of the window at the passing houses and cars. Suki quickly dropped her eyes downward, smirking slightly at the discman resting on baggy, light wash jeans.
Shuffling a bit to get more comfortable, Suki tried to relax as she realised that her shoulders were extremely tense. Closing her eyes, she focused back in on the quiet music.
But after a few moments, the music ceased and Suki heard the clicking of plastic as the headphones were pulled down to rest around the unknown woman's neck. In her peripheral vision, she observed as the individual lifted an arm to wipe a little condensation from the window to have a look out.
Feeling the younger woman turn and face her, Suki resumed looking down at her bag.
"Sorry to disturb you but," the voice paused, northern, soft, low and hesitant. "Do you know how long this bus journey to Greenwich actually is?"
Finally looking up and facing the other woman fully, Suki couldn't prevent her breath from catching.
The first thing she noticed was a structured, sharp jawline. And then blue eyes. Bright blue eyes that stood out among the dark eyeliner and misty eyeshadow around them. The woman was wearing a small, black fitted vest that hugged her body perfectly. Her arms were toned.
The younger woman grinned, seemingly amused by Suki's silence.
It only caused Suki's mouth to dry up even more.
Amazing smile.
"Are you alright?" the woman chuckled awkwardly, bringing a hand up to run it through her short hair. Suddenly breaking out of her thoughts, Suki realised abruptly that she hadn't even answered the original question.
"Sorry, I was miles away."
"Hmm. Rough day?" the other woman enquired casually.
"You could say that."
There was a moment where Suki looked up into those eyes, and for a split second she felt as if they were familiar to her. They felt comforting.
That of course, was stupid. This was a stranger she'd just met. A very endearing stranger.
But nevertheless, still a stranger.
Clearing her throat, Suki leant over slightly towards the other woman to look out of the window, trying to spot something to get her bearings.
"By the looks of it, only about 20 minutes to go. Maybe a bit longer if there's traffic."
"Thanks," the younger woman smiled kindly.
Suki nodded slightly, trying to think of something to say to fill the silence.
"So, you're not local then?" The other woman raised her eyebrows and Suki smiled. "The accent sort of gave you away."
Laughing at that, the blue-eyed woman moved to face her fully. "And the fact I don't know where the hell I'm actually going."
Suki shrugged. "That might have clarified it for me."
"I'm from Bradford originally. Moved here to study law at UCL. Just finished my second year. And before you say anything, I'm not a geek. I'm just passionate about studying…amongst other things."
Smirking at the remark, Suki rested her arm on the bar across the back of the seat.
"I'm pretty sure a 'passionate studier' and a geek are more similar than they are different."
The law student gave Suki an unimpressed look and chuckled before continuing.
"Anyway, after I've finished my degree, I'll go on to do more exams and training. And finally, I'll be a fully qualified solicitor, at your service," the younger woman winked, causing Suki's cheeks to heat up. "I'm Eve, by the way. And you are?"
"Suki."
Eve held out a hand. "Nice to meet you, Suki."
She took Eve's hand in her own, shaking it lightly. "Likewise."
"So then, Suki, you're about twenty-three, twenty-four, right?"
Amused, Suki let go of Eve's hand, noticing the handshake had lingered for a bit too long.
"Twenty-five."
Eve hummed, "Twenty-five…see, I'm fairly good with ages. You do look younger, though. What brings you here tonight, eh? What do you do?"
Suki hesitated for a moment. She wanted to lie. She wanted to pretend and act like she had a different life, for a while. She could be a postgraduate. She could be single. Just starting out in her dream job. She could be a successful businesswoman. She could be anything she wanted to be. She could be free.
But something was pushing her to tell the truth. Her gut was telling her to open up.
Be honest.
So, she simply held her left hand up, showing her rings.
"I've got three kids. Kheerat's eight, Ashneet turned three a month ago and Jagvir is ten months. They're everything to me, they're beautiful. The best kids I could have asked for." Suki's dark brown eyes softened as she thought about them.
Eve looked slightly taken aback but equally intrigued. "Wow, I couldn't imagine having three kids in three years time. When you were my age, you already had two! So, what about hubby then?"
"What about him?" Suki countered, noticing that her own tone had immediately become cold. "Sorry," she sighed, "I just…we had an argument earlier and our marriage is…well, let's not go there."
Understanding, Eve nodded. "So, you needed to get out, then?"
Exhaling tiredly, Suki began playing with the buckle on her bag. "Yeah, I…just grabbed this and ran. He had a meeting. The family runs and owns a business, you see. But he wanted me to do everything for it. Refreshments, copies of paperwork, cleaning. Everything. As well as looking after the kids. When he got home today, I hadn't done any of it. He…he went ballistic. But I told him I wouldn't do it anymore. He tried to stop me, but I left…I hope the kids are ok. He'll probably have his mother round right now, getting her to do it instead. Slagging me off, telling her how I'm not good enough for him and…I'm not a good enough wife."
Glancing up, Eve looked incredibly sympathetic, concern etched onto her features. She shook her head, reaching to rest her hand lightly on Suki's forearm.
"To be honest, he sounds like a right twat. And that's me putting it kindly, babe."
Laughing a little, Suki felt tears forming in her eyes. "That's definitely one way to describe him."
Eve squeezed Suki's arm when she saw tears gathering in brown eyes. "The cigarette smoke? It gets to my eyes too."
Wiping at her face, Suki smiled appreciatively at the little joke.
"So, where are you actually heading then? If you just got on to get away from him."
"I haven't really thought about it, to be honest," Suki sniffed. "I just thought I'd go the whole circuit and then get it back the other way."
Eyes lighting up with an idea, Eve went to speak as she watched the other woman's sadness increasing.
"Well, if you've not got anywhere to go, why don't you come with me?"
Eve looked hopeful as she waited for the other woman's reply, but she could see the uncertainty overtaking the situation.
"Listen, I know it might seem weird. We've only just met. But I promise you I'm not some serial-killing psycho and I am mostly normal, believe it or not." Eve beamed when Suki let out a giggle at the comment.
"I just think a drink would do you good. Better than being on your own, yeah? I'm meeting a few mates at a club so what do you reckon?"
Suki's mind drifted back to Nish for a few seconds. Maybe she shouldn't have run out like that. But then she stopped herself. This is what he always did. He always made her feel guilty. He got inside her head. Why shouldn't she go out? Have some fun? Why shouldn't she have a break. He was always out until god knows time doing god knows what with god knows who. He thought she was stupid. But she wasn't. She knew what he was up to. She knew he was with other women. He'd never been loyal to her.
"You know what," she breathed, looking back to Eve and smiling, "why not? I think it's a great idea."
"I have many great ideas," Eve stated, raising her eyebrows as Suki rolled her eyes. "It's a very positive trait of mine."
"So, do you meet girls on buses and take them for drinks often, then?" Suki teased.
"Nope," Eve protested jokingly, but she then looked down, smiling a little. "Only the ones I like."
Suki just stared for a moment, not sure how to interpret the last part. Her heart pounded a bit faster. She averted her eyes, trying to keep her cool as her attention was brought back to the discman. She reached out, taking it from Eve's lap.
"Are these any good?" She questioned as she opened the lid to look at the CD inside. She'd been right. Metallica.
"They're alright, I suppose. I got it last month for my birthday. It's a D-143. I mean, the sound quality is better than cassettes, but I still use my walkman to listen to my own mixes."
"Hmm." Suki passed it back, pretending not to notice when their fingers brushed.
"You a fan then? Of Metallica?"
"Oh yeah, I love metal, me. Don't get me wrong, I'm weak for pop and new wave but…metal just does something to me when I listen. I have a completely different connection with it compared to anything else."
Suki hummed lightly in agreement.
"Could I listen to some? I haven't heard much of their most recent stuff. The last one I managed to get was the 1988 one…'And justice for all', I think."
Eve watched on in amazement, excited to discover the woman had the same music taste as her. She couldn't quite believe the chances.
"They called it Metallica, the latest one. It came out a few years ago now. Here…" Eve removed the headphones from around her neck, passing them to Suki. "Put these on. And close your eyes."
Suki obliged, waiting patiently and watching as Eve skipped tracks and finally pressed play on the eighth one. Looking over, Eve watched Suki's reaction as the first few notes rippled through the headphones.
Sitting back and closing her eyes slowly, Suki listened intently, savouring the feeling and experience of listening to this kind of music again. It brought back all sorts of emotions.
All sorts of confusion.
Memories of sitting in her room as a teenager, not long before she'd married Nish, playing the records quietly and then returning them to the secret stash she had hidden underneath her bed.
The waves of nostalgia ran through her body as she kept her eyes closed, feeling Eve watching on. She'd never even heard the song before, but it was like the other woman had said. The feeling. The connection with the music. It was spiritual.
The track came to an end and Eve leant forward to remove the headphones from Suki's head gently, smiling as she saw dark eyes open. They were slightly red with emotion.
"What do you think?" Eve whispered, keeping close. Suki blinked back a few tears, taking a shaky breath.
"It was…so good. What's it called?"
"Nothing Else Matters."
Eve moved back then, putting the headphones back around her neck and taking the discman from Suki, putting it into her jean pocket.
"Another downfall of the discman. Always have to buy jeans with big pockets."
Giving a watery smile at that, Suki took deep breaths, trying to calm down. Looking worried, Eve reached for one of the hands in Suki's lap, trying to channel comfort.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't think it would upset you like that."
Suki frowned and her eyes, still shiny with emotion, contained the slightest hint of mirth. She sniffed, squeezing the hand holding hers before letting go.
"Don't know what you mean. Like you said, cigarette smoke can really get you up here."
Eve's face melted into a soft expression before she turned and looked out of the window, noticing that the streets were now busier. Suki followed, realising that they were nearing the high street.
"We'll get off soon. What's the name of the place you're meeting them at?"
"Erm…I can't remember the name, but I've got it written somewhere…"
Eve sat up slightly, pulling a slip of paper from her pocket and passing it to Suki.
"Atomic," she read out, lifting her eyes up to meet Eve's. "Isn't that a…"
Raising her eyebrows, Eve took the paper back. "A what?"
"Isn't it a…" Suki lowered her voice, "a, you know, a…"
Leaning closer, Eve seemed quite amused at the current exchange and lowered her voice to match Suki's. "It's a bar that plays a lot of eighties pop. And…attracts a certain type of crowd."
Looking tense, Suki twisted the rings on her finger, subconsciously fidgeting.
"A gay crowd, Eve. I'm not sure it's my thing," she whispered, face etched with worry.
Looking slightly hurt, Eve sat back.
"That bothers you, then? I thought you'd be chuffed. You won't have to deal with male attention all night long."
Clenching her jaw at the lack of response, the blue-eyed woman broke the silence again. "We get on well. This doesn't have to be an issue, Suki. I'm not going to jump you or anything."
Looking apologetic at that, Suki shook her head.
"It's not...a problem. I just, I've never been anywhere like that before. I've read about places like it. Heard of it, but…"
Suddenly it was all adding up. Looking at Eve now, she supposed that the other woman was quite butch. And beautiful.
She thought Eve was beautiful.
Feeling a bit guilty about her outburst, the law student sat forward.
"I get that…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gone off on one. I get quite defensive about it," Eve whispered. She looked around, quickly checking no one else was listening in. "That's what happens when you grow up in a homophobic environment. Makes you more expectant of it."
"So, you’re…you’re a…" Suki went to finish but Eve just shushed her gently.
"Not here. You never know how some people would react if they overhead, you know…"
Suki looked around then, slightly worried, but felt comforted when she saw Eve smile reassuringly.
"Come on, let's go."
They both stood and Suki pressed the stop button, heading for the stairs. They made their way down, waiting near the driver as he pulled up, harshly breaking at the bus stop. Tripping slightly, Suki felt hands move to her arms and steady her from behind. She looked back, giving Eve a soft smile of thanks as they stepped off the bus and out onto the street.
It was still fairly warm and the sun was still up as they walked down the high street. The summer months were Suki's favourite, but she didn't feel as if she got to go out much anymore to appreciate it. She took Kheerat to school and picked him up. Went Shopping. And that was about it. Any other time it had to be on Nish's terms.
And Nish had to be with her.
"So, did you grow up in Upminster or move there from another part of London when you got married?"
"No, I grew up there. Me and four other siblings in one terraced house. I'm the youngest, though, so when I was about fifteen, they'd all moved out by then."
"Best time to have space though, at that age. Me and my twin used to drive each other mad when we got to about sixteen. We were opposites. Non-identical, you see. But she…"
"She what?" Suki enquired, noticing how Eve's tone had turned strangely sombre.
Clearing her throat, the law student just looked away before facing Suki again with a plastered-on smile. "It doesn't matter…where did you read about this place, then?
"What?" The smaller woman was taken aback by the sudden change of topic. It caught her off guard.
"Well, you said you'd heard of it." Eve watched on as Suki tried to articulate some sort of convincing response.
"I remember hearing about it when I was younger. You know, it was talked about. I used to see people promoting it in the record shop I went to. It was never explicitly said that it was for that group of people but…everyone knew."
Eve simply nodded, content to drop the subject for the time being.
"Do you think I'll get in like this?" Suki suddenly wondered, looking down at her oversized white t-shirt, black leggings, and navy Adidas gazelles. She hadn't exactly been dressed to even leave the house, never mind go to a club.
They stopped walking for a moment and Eve moved in front of Suki to look at her properly. "They won't be funny about the trainers. They're dark and branded so they won't mind as much. Maybe if you tuck the t-shirt in a bit, take your hair down, and I think I've got some eyeliner on me somewhere."
Moving over, they stood on the inside of the pavement so they weren't in the way of passers by. Suki removed the clip from her hair and put it into her bag that was now on the floor between her feet. Eve checked her pockets, finally locating the eyeliner.
"There's no reflections or anything that I can use around here," Suki sighed as she partly tucked in her t-shirt.
Eve laughed, taking a step closer to Suki whilst removing the cap from the eyeliner. "That doesn't matter. I'll do it for you. Just hold your hair back so it doesn't blow into your eyes and keep still, ok?"
Suki just stood for a few seconds, processing everything and what it entailed before nodding.
"Ok," she whispered, closing her eyes so that Eve could do her top lids first. She felt Eve's left hand come to rest lightly on the side of her neck, a thumb against her cheek, keeping her head still. With her right hand, Eve began to apply the eyeliner, resting the heel of her palm against Suki's chin to keep her hand steady.
Thoughts raced through Suki's mind as she felt herself become affected by the proximity. Ok, so maybe she was attracted to Eve. A bit. Well, more than a bit. A lot.
You're Married.
Married.
To a man.
"That's the tops done, if you open your eyes, I'll just do the bottoms."
Opening her eyes slowly, Suki smirked at the concentration etched onto Eve's features as she applied the makeup with cautious precision. The taller woman bent at the knees so that her eyes were on a level with Suki's as she worked.
Suki tried her best to ignore how she could smell Eve's sweet perfume due to the little space between them.
"All done," Eve stated quietly, pulling her hands back slowly and stepping away, putting the eyeliner back into her pocket. "You look perfect."
Grinning shyly, Suki just started to walk and Eve simply followed.
Removing the earphones from around her neck and the discman from her pocket, Eve passed them to Suki.
"Would you mind keeping these in your bag…just saves me from having to wear them all night."
Taking them both, Suki carefully put them into her bag.
"Done," she smiled, widening it into a grin as Eve smiled back.
After a few minutes, a neon sign spelling out Atomic across the street caught their attention. Crossing over, they joined the queue outside to get in. Suki noticed lots of women looking at Eve as they waited, and even more interestingly, at her.
"You know what you said about avoiding attention tonight," Suki laughed, "I'm not really sure that's going to work out as planned."
Eve glanced around, noticing how multiple women looked away as she did so. Beaming, she stepped closer to Suki, taking her hand gently.
"What are you doing?" Suki asked, genuinely lost.
"What do you think?" Eve sighed, rolling her eyes. "We won't get the attention if they think we're together, will we?"
Noticing some women now turning away with deflated expressions, Suki moved closer to Eve so that they were shoulder to shoulder, keeping their hands linked.
Suki found that she more than liked it.
"I can't believe I'm here with you. I've only known you for about an hour. How am I here?" Suki laughed in disbelief.
Eve just winked, teasingly squeezing the hand she was holding in her own. "No one would blame you, Suki. I'm a very charming individual." They both laughed before Eve's expression softened and became more sincere. "You needed to get away. Distraction therapy. So just, try not to worry about anything else. The kids will be fine and your husband, well, let him think about how he's treated you."
Humming in agreement, Suki noticed the queue moving forward and they headed into the bar. The brightness dimmed as they headed down steps to the main club, the distant music getting louder as they went further. Before they pushed through the doors, Eve turned to Suki, who looked a little nervous.
"It's ok," Eve smiled, "just hold on to my hand. We'll go through the dance floor, get a drink and find a booth until the others arrive."
Suki smiled, but her eyes still held a hint of worry.
"You're not alone, Suki," Eve added, "just relax."
There was no reason why Suki should have trusted Eve the way she did at that moment.
But she did.
She trusted her.
__________
TBC