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nothing on me (but you)
«It’s a no, Miyuki. You’re not going to play.»
Eijun’s ears started ringing. What did Coach Kataoka mean with that? How was Seidou supposed to play without Miyuki Kazuya in the catcher position? How was Eijun supposed to pitch without Miyuki giving him the signs?
Alright, that came out quite wrong. Eijun did appreciate their catchers. Hell, they helped him so much in his pitcher training, when he had had that bad slump and when Miyuki was busy practicing his swing and his offense. But… the other catchers weren’t Miyuki Kazuya. They didn’t predict the course of Eijun’s pitches like he did, they didn’t understand Eijun’s mind like he did, they didn’t calm Eijun like Miyuki did during a game, just by being there right in front of the pitcher, grinning and ready to challenge some hard baseball players. And they weren’t even Eijun’s crush, but that was for another story.
Eijun opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. He wanted to say something, to refuse Coach’s decision, but he knew he wasn’t in the position of doing so. Yes, he was Seidou’s ace, but that number one on the back of his uniform didn’t mean anything as long as Furuya and Nori were on the roster. If Eijun said something wrong, or even if Coach Kataoka felt like it, Eijun’s starting position - with the premise of pitching for the whole game - would disappear in an instant.
«But if we don’t win we have to play another game and-» Retorted Miyuki Kazuya himself, frowning. He was as surprised as Eijun, which meant Coach Kataoka made the decision without talking with the captain beforehand. Maybe he foresaw the catcher’s reaction and decided it was better to drop the news in front of the whole roster and not in the privacy of a coach-captain meeting.
«Don’t you trust your teammates, Miyuki? I’m doing this to let you rest for an extra day. You should be grateful. Are you saying without you at home plate the pitchers will pitch bad? And the team won’t defend and attack like when you are in the lineup?» Coach Kataoka’s voice was grouchy, his gaze focused on the captain while he spat those harsh words that made Miyuki lower his eyes.
«No, sir. We have a great team,» but with the best battery out there the victory will be easier , he wanted to add. Eijun read that in his face. And as much as he was confident in his pitching dexterity, he agreed with his partner.
The Championship was kinda hard. To get to the finals they had to win a series, two out of three games. The first one was down already, they won the day before 6-1. Today’s game would be the second one, and if they tied there would be the third game on the following evening. That would mean two things: in case they won, they would have only one day to recharge before the finals, and they would have another whole game weighing on their muscles. If they won tonight though, they would spare the third game for an extra day of rest. Coming from three series turns played all one after the other, a victory was the most desirable outcome.
Moreover, Eijun hadn’t pitched to anyone but Miyuki in a real game. He knew every catcher’s habits and ideas, but it would be the first time ever he pitched to someone who wasn’t Miyuki in a serious and important game.
Still, Coach Kataoka was right, Miyuki did need some more time to recharge before going all out in the finals. Eijun understood his partner’s feelings - in the end, their battery was undefeatable, and getting them both on the field probably meant an easy game - but understood Coach Kataoka’s words as well. Eijun was the first to be always eager to get on the mound and pitch, but if the time at Seidou had taught him something, it was that rest was as important as practice. And Miyuki had played amazingly both in offense and in defense in their previous games, it wouldn’t hurt him to be on the bench for once, even if Eijun himself was scared of the outcome.
«I’m glad you agree. Well, team, you’re dismissed. Today’s game is at five o’clock, get to the warming ground at four,» Kataoka spoke loudly, and a chorus of “Thank you, Coach” filled the room before the players got out of the hotel’s meeting hall one by one.
Miyuki exited the room on his own with a frowning expression that made Eijun move as well. He wanted to talk with him, to tell him he would do well even if his pitches wouldn’t be caught by Miyuki’s mitt. They would win to get Seidou to the finals as soon as possible, and Miyuki wouldn’t feel responsible for the team any more than he already felt.
But when the ace was right by the door, a voice stopped him. «Sawamura-senpai!»
Eijun turned around to find Okumura Koshu beaming. «Yes, Okumura-shonen?» He answered politely, not really wanting to display how eagerly he wanted to be out of that room. Okumura was still a teammate, and moreover his battery partner for that day’s game.
«I wanted to discuss today’s signs and strategy, if you’re alright with it. And maybe also check your condition, since you didn’t pitch much yesterday.»
Eijun sighed. There it was, the sign he wouldn’t be able to talk with Miyuki at least until the game. Being the starting pitcher and the ace had its cons, and Eijun found himself cursing them all.
«Yes. Yes, of course,» he replied.
His form was perfectly fine. The control was alright, his fingertips could feel every seam and every detail of the ball. The courses were good. Okumura sometimes didn’t even move the mitt to catch the ball, as Eijun’s pitches were essentially from the books. Moreover, Seidou was on offense in the lower part of the inning, which meant they would play just half of the ninth inning if they managed to score more than the other team. Everything felt luckily alright.
And so the game began.
Their opponents were strong, they had big bodies trained so well for hitting pretty much every ball and they still were fast enough to steal bases if the opportunity came.
Needless to say though, that opportunity wouldn’t come, not with the keystone duo that were Kuramochi and Haruichi.
Okumura was doing fine. He called pitch combinations that weren’t predictable, and in the rare case that they were, he chose directions that would result in pop up hits or grounders that were quickly and safely caught by Seidou’s fielders.
When he striked out a player and the game stopped for those couple of seconds it took for the new batter to get to home plate, Eijun looked at the bench, where Kataoka - stoic as always - stood and right behind a four-eyed catcher sat with his arms crossed. Eijun grinned, and Miyuki smirked back.
Look at me , Eijun thought. I’m doing this for us. Let’s stand here in the finals, partner .
He hoped Miyuki received the message, but by the loose expression on his face - compared to the surly one he had some hours before - it looked like he did.
By the end of the seventh inning Seidou was winning 4-0. It was almost a miracle that Okumura and Eijun didn’t let the opponents score. Even Miyuki and Nori the day before made a couple of mistakes that led to the only point in the sixth inning.
The opponent team requested a timeout right before sending the third batter in the box. Eijun was already on the mound and chose to not return back to the bench. It was September after all, the weather was chill and he had already drunk the glass of water he was supposed to drink before pitching.
Okumura too was already in position, and opted for getting nearer Eijun to talk a bit about the strategy of that last part of the game.
«Senpai,» he said, getting on the mound and moving closer to Eijun, so much that the pitcher could tell apart every string of the catcher’s blond hair.
He gulped. Too close .
«Y-yeah?» He asked. He didn’t really feel at ease having Okumura’s bright blue eyes scanning him from just a few centimeters apart, but he didn’t want to say it aloud. He pulled back a half step.
«I think we can go for a changeup here. And for a two-seam against the fourth batter. He hasn't seen it yet, has it?» The catcher asked, touching Eijun's chest with the back of his mitt.
Eijun nodded absent-mindedly, even though he had processed one word every three. He felt his breath almost labored, but he wasn’t tired from pitching. His head was spinning, but he didn't feel physically unwell. There was a voice inside him screaming pull back . Why did he feel so uncomfortable with the catcher so close? He had never felt that way. He was so used to being that close to Miyuki, why didn’t he feel at ease with his kohai?
Eijun blinked a couple of times.
Oh .
Okumura wasn’t Miyuki. Miyuki was Miyuki. Eijun’s battery partner, his half on the field. No one got him like Miyuki did. His emotions on the mound, his baseball yearning, his thoughts. Miyuki understood them all without even saying a word, it took just a glance between them to be on the same page.
And Eijun liked him. Of course he was at ease with him. Of course Miyuki could be so close to Eijun’s face. Of course Eijun didn’t mind when Miyuki put his hands on his shoulder, on his arm, when he hugged him after a perfect inning or a victory. More, more , the pitcher would think when the captain got to the mound during a timeout. Miyuki’s face was somehow always too far .
Miyuki was special. Whenever he was around, Eijun’s tolerance to skinship raised so high he yearned for the catcher to touch him. And having to pitch to him every time Eijun got on the mound didn’t make him realize how much Miyuki was the exception and not the rule.
«Senpai?» Okumura called, a frowning expression on his young face.
Eijun took a deep breath and shifted slightly on the right, just a bit to get away from the catcher’s touch but not too much to make the other realize it.
«Sorry, was thinking about how good of a team we are,» he lied, laughing a little and putting on that smile people mistook for genuine.
Okumura’s expression relaxed, right before the referee blew the whistle, signaling the official start of the eighth inning.
The blond guy took a step back to lower his helmet, and Eijun took a breath of relief. That distance was finally fine.
«Let’s go win this thing,» said the catcher.
Eijun put on a little smile. «Yeah, let’s do this.»
The perks of being captain included the privilege of a single room in the hotel.
Eijun - who shared the room with the not-really-of-good-company Furuya who fell asleep practically always and anywhere and the loud snoring of Kanemaru - had been envying Miyuki’s room for the whole Championship, but now that he was knocking on the door with insistence, he was glad that they wouldn’t have any disturbance at all. He didn’t really wish to be interrupted by a clueless roommate in the middle of his stupid confession.
Miyuki opened the door. He wore a summer uniform, shorts that embraced his thighs perfectly and a tight Under Armour t-shirt that fit his pecs perfectly. Eijun almost choked on his saliva, but was saved by Miyuki’s greeting. His resting face when he showed up had worn a surprised expression as soon as he recognized Eijun.
«What are you doing here?»
«Hello to you, too, Miyuki Kazuya! Can I come in?» Eijun quickly answered. If he waited some more time, his courage would completely disappear and he would be left with the captain and his own awkwardness that would compromise everything.
«Sure?» Miyuki answered with a questioning tone, but still opened the door more to let his teammate in and closed once Eijun was inside.
The pitcher took his time scanning his surroundings. He had been there before - almost every night, to be exact. Kuramochi had led some video game tourneys in Miyuki’s room because “it was the biggest”. Which wasn’t false, to be honest. For being a single room, it definitely looked like a suit, with a king size bed in the center of it, a desk on the opposite side and a big balcony that shared a breathtaking landscape of Kyoto.
The room looked way bigger than when the whole roster raised hell. Eijun couldn’t really say whether it was because there were just the two of them or because they were completely alone and he was about to say something he may regret later.
«So?» Miyuki asked, getting near the desk and leaning onto it. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking at Eijun with a questioning expression.
Eijun sat at the foot of the bed, just a couple of meters away from Miyuki. It was the perfect distance, not too close where he would have chickened out but not too far where he would have needed to talk with a loud voice to be heard by the catcher.
«Uhm. I realized something today,» Eijun said, lowering his gaze and realizing his hands started fidgeting. There he was, chickening out even though he believed to have enough courage.
«That we got to the finals?» Asked Miyuki.
Eijun sent him a glance and puffed his cheeks. «It was one time, one ! I was so into pitching that I didn’t realize we had won the semifinals of the Fall Tournament, but it was one time !» He replied on the offensive.
An amused laugh escaped Miyuki’s lips. «I was joking, Sawamura, but it’s interesting seeing you this fed up.»
«You’re so unpleasant .»
«Thank you!» Miyuki giggled.
«It’s not a compliment!» Eijun shouted getting up. «Ah, that was a mistake, I’m going back to my room.»
He started marching towards the door, regretting every single thought he had about confessing. It was the dumbest idea Eijun had even got.
A hand reached for his free wrist when he was about to turn the knob.
«Wait.»
A rush of adrenalin flew from the point where Miyuki’s fingers were through Eijun’s whole body.
Fuck , Eijun thought. He had spent the whole evening thinking about the uneasiness he felt during the game with Okumura and the comfort that he received from any touch Miyuki reserved to him only. He had concluded the train of thoughts wondering if he was just exaggerating the idea of Miyuki in his mind, but that simple gesture, those fingers around his wrist were louder than anything else Eijun had ever thought.
Miyuki was different. If any other catcher, if any other person got too close to him, Eijun would flinch, his mind sending alarming signals throughout his whole body. But if it was Miyuki, every single part of Eijun demanded more. Closer, stronger, tighter .
«Tell me.»
Eijun turned around, with Miyuki’s fingers still there, touching his wrist. The pitcher lowered his gaze, taking in how simple the way Miyuki’s callous fingertips were surrounding Eijun’s wrist, how he had seen people touching anywhere and at any time, but how when Miyuki did that to Eijun the ace’s brain cells were probably about to explode.
Miyuki released his grip, and Eijun suddenly felt his wrist naked and cold. He shivered. Now all he could think about was don’t let go and please touch me again .
Miyuki cleared his throat. «Uhm… What did you realize?»
Eijun blinked, going back to reality and processing the other’s words. What did he realize? Ah . He had almost forgot.
He slowly went back to the foot of the bed and sat there. Having Miyuki that close was counter-productive, he needed to be at least a couple of meters apart from him.
«It’s stupid. You’re gonna laugh,» he murmured, looking up at Miyuki.
The catcher frowned, going back to the desk and leaning onto it again. «Yeah, I know you’re stupid. It’s not like I expect you to have some high thought.»
Eijun’s cheeks puffed again almost by default.
«But I won’t laugh, - Miyuki continued. - I promise.»
His words sounded so sincere a shiver navigated through Eijun’s spine.
He took a deep breath. Was he about to do it? Well, it wasn’t like he had anything to lose. Wait, that was wrong. He did have something. His relationship with Miyuki, their battery. Maybe it would all go to hell in a couple of minutes. But he was there, alone with Miyuki, already halfway to confess everything.
Ah, screw it. I’m doing it .
«During today’s game - Eijun started. - I… Okumura came to the mound a couple of times.»
«That’s what catchers do.»
«I know . But he came and he was so close .»
«Do you like Okumura? Were you in a gay panic or something?»
The tone in Miyuki’s voice changed slightly from amused to annoyed, but Eijun was too focused on denying to notice.
«No! It’s not Okumura the… person I like,» the pitcher quickly said, his cheeks turning redder by the second. The conversation wasn’t really going how he pictured it. Well, he didn’t picture Miyuki talking in it when Miyuki was the most annoying person ever , especially when he remarked anything, so that was on Eijun.
«Mh, - Miyuki seemed still bothered. - So? He was close and?»
Time slowed down in the room. Miyuki had his gaze on Eijun, while Eijun had his own on the floor, pondering how to explain with words all the feelings he went through during the game.
«Sawamura?» Called Miyuki after some endless minutes.
«Yeah, yeah, I’m here. Just… let me phrase it well, alright?» He mumbled, puffing his cheeks.
Miyuki raised his hands, implicitly saying he wouldn’t interrupt anymore.
«Okumura got on the mound. And he was so close to me, and then he touched me and my mind went crazy for a moment because…»
«…Because?» Miyuki pressed when Eijun stopped in the middle of the phrase.
A beat passed.
«Because he’s not you.»
The pitcher raised his head a little to look at the other’s expression.
He didn’t find much. Miyuki had his arms crossed over his chest, exactly like some time before, and his gaze was immovable, his lips closed in a thin line and his eyes behind his glasses fixed on Eijun but completely unexpressive.
Eijun cursed mentally once again. I’m saying it. I’m already beyond the breaking point anyway .
«When you come to the mound I feel fine. If you touch my shoulder, or my arm, hell even my chest with just your mitt, it’s okay. When Okumura did the exact same thing today, my body flinched on its own. Because it felt , I knew , it wasn’t you.»
«Are you joking?» Asked Miyuki, his tone serious and sharp as ever .
Eijun blinked, frowning and tilting his head. Why was he asking if it was a joke? Was it that weird? Was Eijun weird? «No, I’m not jok-»
Eijun stopped mid phrase again, but this time because Miyuki got up from the desk and got closer to him.
The catcher’s gaze was piercing, almost scary. «Sawamura, are you perhaps in love with me?»
Miyuki was now right in front of Eijun, and the ace had to bend his head upwards to look the guy in the eyes.
Eijun gulped.
«Perhaps I am.»
Miyuki then averted his gaze, running a hand through his hair while he laughed softly by himself. «Fuck…» He slurred.
«What’s that funny?» Asked Eijun, now completely puzzled. What kind of reaction was that? A good one? Or a bad one? Was he about to be thrown out of the room with a kick in the ass?
Miyuki was still chuckling. «That I want to kiss you so fucking bad, idiot.»
Oh. Oh .
«Does- Does this mean you feel the same?»
The catcher now left out a sounding laugh. «God, Sawamura, why do you think I try to have as much skinship as I can with you?» He asked sarcastically, turning to face the pitcher once again and slowly leaning closer.
Alright, Eijun didn’t really think about the reason behind that. Not that now he could think about anything, with Miyuki completely filling his field of vision with that pretty face of his.
«Didn’t you notice I don’t do that with Furuya and Nori?» Asked Miyuki again, with a softer tone. He was so close to Eijun he didn’t need to raise his voice. Maybe Eijun could hear even if he just moved his lips without pronouncing a single word.
«Do I look clever enough to notice it?» The ace replied, swallowing. He was trying, like so hard , to look at the other’s eyes, but those pretty and soft and reddish lips were definitely more interesting.
«No, you don’t,» confirmed the catcher, placing a hand on Eijun’s cheek.
Eijun’s skin started burning . He closed his eyes, leaning slowly upwards until…
Their lips crashed. Miyuki had probably taken the wrong measurement because he almost fell onto Eijun in the attempt to kiss him first. But Eijun’s mind was completely blank to get him to notice it and to care about it. He slowly bended backwards until he was lying on the bed, and Miyuki - without breaking the kiss not even for a second - placed himself on top of him, his knees on the sides of Eijun’s thighs, but then he soon switched their position, and Eijun found himself between Miyuki’s thighs, almost completely laying on his catcher if it wasn’t for the hand he placed on the bed cover.
Miyuki’s lips moved smoothly on Eijun’s while his hand caressed the boy’s cheek.
Eijun was almost breathless, but he couldn’t stop the kiss, not when he felt like the only thing that could make him feel alive was the kiss itself.
It was indeed Miyuki who got away from Eijun’s lips, panting like he had just run a marathon. «God…» He slurred, cheeks flushed, and Eijun, panting as well, leaned back and sat on the bed.
«Come here,» said the catcher, extending a hand.
Eijun didn’t think twice about getting closer and laid beside him, his whole body feeling the urge to be touched by Miyuki, the need to be as near to the captain as possible.
Miyuki took Eijun’s hands with his, intertwining their fingers.
Eijun gulped. Their fingertips were callous for all the batting practices - Miyuki’s were even more so because of the wooden bat and the endless training as fourth batter - but the pitcher felt that touch to be the softest he had ever experienced.
«How are you feeling?» Asked Miyuki softly. «Is this kind of touch okay?»
Eijun closed his eyes, leaning towards the catcher until he could rest his head on Miyuki’s chest.
«Not enough.» He answered in a whisper. «With Okumura, even being close to him made my head spin. But with you I feel like you actually touching me is not enough.»
Miyuki let out a chuckle and then placed his lips on the top of Eijun’s head, leaving a gentle kiss.
«Is it alright if I do this, then?» The catcher asked, putting his hand on Eijun’s hip, right where the fabric of the shirt had lifted when Eijun got on the bed and let out a line of tanned skin.
Here there was, another rush of adrenalin reaching every nerve of Eijun’s body. A soft moan got out from the pitcher’s lips, and Miyuki laughed.
«God, this doesn’t help at all.»
Eijun made a muffled verse in response, hoping the other understood it was a question about what was this and how it didn’t help.
«I could get used to this. To you reacting like this only to my touch.»
«It’s embarrassing,» Eijun murmured. His cheeks felt even hotter than when they had just finished kissing.
Miyuki’s hand ruffled his hair. «It’s not. I like it. It makes me feel special.»
«I didn’t want to boost your ego even more,» whined the younger boy.
Another laugh escaped Miyuki’s lips, but this was so genuine Eijun felt the other’s chest vibrating against his cheek. «Too late, sorry.»
«Can I sleep here?» said Eijun after long moments of silence where Miyuki softly caressed Eijun’s head. The pitcher felt the tiredness of the game hitting on his body all at once.
«Are you using your ‘I’m hooking up with the captain’ card already?»
Eijun snuggled against Miyuki’s body.
«What if I am?» He mumbled slowly. He felt so at ease he was about to completely fall asleep right there and then.
«I guess I won’t complain. In the end, I’m hooking up with the ace.»
Eijun’s lips widened in a smile. «Will you catch for me tomorrow, Miyuki Kazuya?»
The last thing Eijun heard before dozing off was a chuckle. «Yes, Eijun, I will.»