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"You're here early."
It's the first thing his uncle Loki says when he opens the door. He is holding a mug, and is wearing a black tee-shirt that enhances his body shape too well, and Thor is already looking away to prevent staring.
"Father and mother already left, they wanted to be early at the airport."
"Of course. Come on, get in."
He does so, looking around to see if the place has changed since the last time he came. And it has not ; everything is still immaculate, and nothing is out of place. There's actually very few decoration too. It's the total opposite of his own bedroom, who's full and messy. But that's what he admires about Loki, he's always so organised.
"You want to settle? I'll prepare you something to drink."
Thor only nods and walks to the stairs. Once he is upstairs, he goes to the guest bedroom, throws his bag against the wall and let himself fall on the bed.
He puts his hands on his face, and sighs.
His parents are going on a trip for a week, just together for once. Even if Thor is perfectly able to stay home by himself, he didn't want to stay alone for so many days. He could have gone to a friend's house, but he would not have missed the occasion. It was the perfect excuse to spend some time at his uncle Loki's. It has been ages since he had done so, and he had missed it. So much.
Because he was in love with him.
It was not a crush. It was so much more.
As far as he remembers, his uncle Loki has always been so nice to him. Covering him in compliments, spending time with him to do whatever he wanted. He never grounded him, he always held him tight when he was crying. Promising him to never let him go. Wherever his uncle Loki was, if Thor wanted to see him and cried, he would come rushing. Whenever he wanted a present, his uncle Loki would offer it to him. He made him feel special and loved like no one else.
His parents always made fun of that, of how fond Loki was with his nephew, and vice-versa. If they new Thor bore such abhorrent feelings now, they probably wouldn't laugh anymore.
Staring at the ceiling, Thor feels his cheeks burn at those familiar thoughts. His heart tightens at the guilt, but beats faster with the love he feels, and somewhat those feelings seem to meddle in an intense sensation he doesn't want to forget.
He runs a hand through his hair.
He couldn't even remember when this started. He remembers being a child, and already being so much attached to his uncle. Never leaving his side when he was there, always asking for hugs and kisses, even when his mother said with a laugh to stop bothering his poor uncle.
Perhaps it was all those little attentions his uncle had given him, that no one else did, that made him grow those feelings. Or perhaps there was truly something wrong with him. But it was Loki's fault too ; how could he even resist such a nice, intelligent and beautiful man?
After a few moments of internal turmoil, Thor decides to at least get up. He grabs his bag and begins to unpack it, without really paying attention to his own gestures.
He thinks about how Loki is downstairs, waiting for him, how they'll be alone together for a whole week. About what they are going to converse about, or what they'll do together. Thor has a lot of ideas.
He throws a unfolded shirt on a shelf. His cheeks are reddening again.
A few years back, just sleeping in the guest room next to his uncle Loki was enough. Now he craves even more. He wants to hold him, to kiss him. Tell him how beautiful, intelligent and perfect he is, how he admires him. Cover him in compliments, just like he did with him and just like he deserves.
He puts another shirt in the wardrobe.
He is not that delusional. He has seen how his uncle Loki looked at him. He knows what it meant, because it's the exact same way some girls and boys look at him at school. He may not be as mature as his uncle, but he has some experience, and he definitely wants to use it. Because he's tired of keeping this to himself, and he's sure his uncle feels something too.
Before coming here, he told himself that he would confess everything. Maybe he was wrong, and his uncle won't ever speak to him again, maybe the next family meetings will be very awkward. But Thor doesn't think much about it, he wants to let it all out, even if there's a risk of hurting many people. That's a bit egoistical, but he doesn't care, plus he has always been a man of action. He'll think after.
He tries to clear up his thoughts, and even if he has not finished emptying his bag, he gets out of the room and aims downstairs.
When he arrives in the living room, Loki is already settled on the couch with a book. He lifts his head and smiles when he sees his nephew.
"I hope the room was all right for you, it's been a while since anyone used it. I prepared you a hot chocolate, I hope you still like that," he declares as he shows the mug on the low table.
"Thanks," he only says as he takes it and seats by his side. He doesn't stop looking at him.
Loki closes his book, and looks at him with a raised eyebrow and a smile.
"It's strange that your parents didn't want to leave you alone for the week, at your age."
Thor takes a sip of hot chocolate and looks away. He didn't like to lie, but he doesn't want to tell the truth ; that his parents were perfectly fine leaving him by himself. His uncle might find it strange otherwise, that he asked to come anyway... Or perhaps he had only been overthinking.
Thor only shrugs. "Well you know how mother is. Always worrying. Even though I'm almost seventeen, I'm still a child to her."
His posture is confident, but inwardly his heart is beating way too fast at how close his uncle his.
"It's true you have grown up. You're not the little boy we all knew anymore."
"It's been a while since I was a little boy!" he counters.
"Right."
Loki chuckles, and Thor thinks he sees tenderness in his eyes, and he hopes he's not mistaken.
"So... what have you been up too, uncle Loki?" He asks because he doesn't know what else to say, besides 'I've loved you for so long' but he's not sure it's the right moment.
"Well, the usual. Work is still exhausting but at least now I can work from home, so it's better. And you? How are your courses?"
"The same. It's not very interesting."
He looks down at his drink. He doesn't want to talk about this.
"You're not struggling, at least? You know you can come to me if your need help right?"
"I know, thanks. But it's all right."
He's always so thoughtful. But Thor can't accept, he can't imagine having homework sessions with him. It would be so awkward, we would never be able to concentrate.
What was wrong with him?
At first, he had wanted to be closer to him, to spend more time together. And later came the dirty dreams and the shameful thoughts... Why couldn't it be with any person his age, like it is for everyone?
"Actually... have you ever loved someone, uncle Loki?" he asks, because he really doesn't recall hearing about this. And he wants to know.
Loki takes a few seconds to answer. He inhales. "I did, yes. But it was a long time ago now. At least it feels like it. Why, are you interested in someone? Do you need advice?" he smirks.
Thor drinks a long sip to hide his reddening cheeks. "Yeah. Kind of."
"Ooh... is it one of your friends?"
Loki turns to him and leans better on the back on the couch, and Thor still can't look at him.
"Not really, no. Well, he can act like a friend... but he's much more to me."
"That's intriguing. Ah, it's a boy then. Well can't I know more? What is he like?"
Thor laughs nervously. "Why do you want to know?"
"Hm, I guess I'm curious. I want to know what kind of people my dear nephew likes."
Thor can't help but blush again, because of the situation, because of the sweet surname – was it one? –, because of the reason he wants his uncle Loki to have to ask that sort of questions. Fantasies come back in Thor's mind but he does his best to push them away.
He takes a deep breath. "This ma–... boy is very handsome, and his body is perfect too. I want to kiss him everywhere and cuddle with him for hours. And he is no nice, he always listens to me. He cares a lot about me. Also he is very clever, way more than me, I'm sure. There's no one like him... I want to be at his side forever. And cherish him."
"Wow... I see. This boy will be very lucky to have you."
He shrugs. "Maybe. I haven't told him anything yet anyway."
"Why? You've never been in the shy side. Quite the contrary."
"It's... particular. He's... older, and I don't think he can view me in any other way that the one he does now."
"Older? Older how?" he frowns a bit.
Is that worry? Somewhat, Thor is pleased.
"Not a lot. A few years," he lies.
"I see... I don't know if I can give you good advice. I'm sure you're way more experienced."
Thor finishes the chocolate, and lays the empty mug on the low table.
"But you are too! You said you had love afffairs. Plus, you don't always need to be experienced to know about it."
Loki crosses his arms. "And I can't really know without really knowing that boy. I guess you could make some basic confession, in a place he likes. You can bring flowers, it's always a plus."
"So you're really a romantic."
He laughed it off. "I'm just trying to help you. If that person is not like that, you can try other things."
"It seems way more difficult than it should be."
"How would you do then?"
Thor turns to him, and admires his perfect features, his deep green eyes that always fascinated him.
"I would just kiss him."
Then he doesn't think, and he leans in and captures his uncle's lips. He can feel their sweetness for only a mere second, because Loki immediately pushes him away. He's more than shocked, that's true, but his cheeks are slightly red, and Thor only thinks of that and that it may well mean something.
And eager and impetuous as he his, he goes to kiss him again, but Loki holds him by the shoulders and pushes him once more.
"Thor, what... what are you doing...?!" he stutters.
He doesn't know what to answer, and he opens his mouth, to close it after. An option would be running away, but he's not like that. And he promised himself to confess, even if it ruins everything.
"I just wanted... I'm sorry."
Loki looks mad, but Thor knows he isn't really.
"You're confused. I guess boys your age can be."
Then he stands up, and Thor already misses the proximity. Loki leaves him here to go to the kitchen, and when he comes back, he's drinking a glass of water.
Surprisingly, he goes to sit back where he was, but he doesn't speak. He even takes his book and began to read it, just as if nothing happened.
Thor can't take it anymore.
"Uncle Loki..."
He sighs. "What...?"
"I'm sorry if I startled you."
"Startled?! Thor, you– you kissed me! You–"
"And I really meant to!"
His breath got taken away. "You don't know what you're saying."
"I do very well. It's you, uncle Loki. That man I love."
"...What?" his voice shivered.
Even though he's quite terrified inside, Thor stays confident. "The one who always cared about me, who's so nice, handsome, clever, it's you. You're perfect, and I've loved you for years... first... first it was innocent, but then I began to have dreams, and fantasies, and... but it's not only about that, I realised I really was in love with you!"
Loki got speechless. Confused. "Thor... how can you..."
And to make things worse, Thor gets even closer, and takes his hands. And somewhat, Loki doesn't pull away.
"I've seen the way you've looked at me. I know you want it too," he assures.
"It's not a question of wanting or not." he pushes him away. "You're only confused, Thor. I guess it can happen to have crushes of this sort..."
"But it's not a crush! It's way much more! I swear." he takes back his hands. "I want to love you like no once ever has, uncle Loki, as you deserve. I want to hold you, to cherish you, I'll do everything you wish of me. I know you feel the same."
Loki doesn't know what to say, or what to do. He should pull away once more, ground this boy so he never says such indecent words ever again.
But he doesn't want to, because Thor is right. He did felt the same.
His experience has taught him to always hide strong feelings, and those he felt for him surely weren't an exception. Loki didn't even remember when it had began, and his somewhat didn't want to. But the fact was that he desired him. His own nephew. He always knew how much Thor admired him, but could he know this administration hid this? Loki tried not to flinch, but it's hard. He's gorgeous, with his golden hair, his shiny blue eyes, and it's hard to resist anymore. And how he hates himself for it. What would become of him if it happens to be known? He cannot comprehend Odin and Frigga's reaction. Yet, a dark feeling crosses his mind and his heart. Wouldn't it feel good? To corrupt his brother's son...
No. He has to resist. To be the adult in the situation.
But now Thor is practically on his lap, his hands squeezed in his own, spilling such words and looking at him with those sparky eyes. Asking to be hold, to be kissed, to be loved.
So he abandons any guilt and pushed his body against his before pulling him into a fiery kiss. Thor responds immediately, grabbing at his hair, his clothes while he devours him.
When they part, they are breathless, and they look at each other's eyes like they just made the worst fault in their lives.
Yet they eagerly kiss again.
When a moment after, Loki pulls away, he doesn't have time to retrieve his breath before Thor embraces him with all his strength. He renders it with all the tenderness he can.
Then Thor looks at him with a proud smile, and his eyes are even more sparky than before. "I knew you couldn't resist me."
Loki shooks his head, and chuckles. "You're bold, I can confidently say that."
Even though his uncle seems happier than before, Thor still sense worry in his eyes. So he leans to his ear, and murmurs :
"Don't worry, uncle Loki. I will tell no one about this. At least for a few years... it will be difficult to keep quiet."
He makes him shiver, and "You better. And we have to talk about what happened too. In a serious manner."
Thor doesn't move off his lap, and puts his arms around his shoulders.
"How about we do this at a dinner at a restaurant? I'll bring a flower bouquet for you."
Loki kisses his cheek.
"I like this idea."